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“He was a bad kid, Dad. Got into trouble. Got put in jail.” Replaced me whenever you’d let him. “What was I supposed to do? Give up on everything I wanted and hope he would have a miracle transformation? And you’re right, if I’d known he was back, working here in family practice, I probably wouldn’t have come. Not because I don’t want to see him but because he’s capable of doing everything you expect me to do and, probably, secretly want him to do more than you want me to.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Henry asked, looking over the top of his glasses at her.
“It means Marrell isn’t big enough to support both Caleb and me, especially in the same field. Since he apparently wants to be here, and I don’t...” She shrugged.
“But the hospital’s yours, all except signing the papers, which are being drawn up right now.”
“You know I don’t want to run it, Dad, or work in it. I’ll own it, but that’s all, as I have a different life than that.” He wasn’t listening to her, though, like the way he’d never listened to anything she’d ever said. Still, she wasn’t giving up on this. Especially now that Caleb had entered the mix and offered her the possibility of something she hadn’t expected—a good, workable solution.
“Then it will have to be your decision to turn the day-to-day operations over to somebody else.”
She wasn’t going to engage. They’d had this discussion—argument—many times over the past year. He knew where she stood, and nothing about that had changed. But Caleb...now, that added a whole new dimension to this argument. Maybe he could be the one to take over. Hopefully, buy her out sometime in the future. It was certainly a plan worth considering. “Which I will certainly do. So, how was Caleb wounded?” she asked, not sure what to expect.
“Shot in the shoulder. Shattered the bone, caused some neurological damage. Not enough to cause a lot of disability but enough to keep him out of the OR.”
That was too bad, because she imagined Caleb would be good at anything he did. She was sure he’d have been a great surgeon. “And he’s back in Marrell, why?”
“To raise his son. To be closer to his family, so they can help him.”
“Then he’s a single father?” That was something she hadn’t expected. Somehow, she didn’t picture Caleb as the father type.
“To a five-year-old.”
“No mother in the picture?”
“Not that I’m aware of. But Caleb’s a very good dad. Dotes on his son.”
“I don’t suppose I would have expected that from someone like him.” Because she still pictured him as the one who stood apart from everybody else. The one being cuffed and carted off to jail. Which was, in fact, the last time she’d ever seen him.
“Someone like him, Leanne? Caleb was always a nice boy. A little troubled, yes, but he had potential. Went into the army after he was released from detention, got himself through college and med school. Then turned his life into something successful.”
“I guess that makes sense, seeing how he would come to the hospital and follow you around all the time. And all the attention you gave him.” That he hadn’t given her. “Anyway, I’ll catch up with him as soon as I can. Maybe ask him about taking over admin duties at Sinclair.”
“Let him settle in first. Figure out if he’s going to stay or not.”
“You mentioned that before, that he might not stay.”
“If Matthew doesn’t get into Hans Schilling’s school, he might not.”
“The orchestral conductor who runs that school for child prodigies? Matthew is a musical prodigy?”
“From what I’ve heard. And that’s the real reason why Caleb came home. Sure, having his family here for Matthew was a big incentive, but Hans Schilling was the real draw.”
“Well, I’m not going to promise I’ll wait before I start pressing him, because I have a life to get back to. But first I’d like to talk to him—for old times’ sake.” Not that she really recalled many of those old times since she’d been more focused on how she was going to make new times for herself.
“He’s in this morning.” Henry glanced at his watch, saw that morning had slipped into noon. “Actually, you’ll probably find him in the cafeteria right about now. Eating lunch.”
“Then I’m on my way to the cafeteria. Care to join me?”
Henry shook his head. “I’m taking off early today. Meeting up with Dora, and we’re going fishing. Do you want to join us for dinner tonight?”
“Fresh catch?” she asked, standing up.
“Whatever we can come up with. Dora makes this great frying batter...” He licked his lips. “You know she’s going to make me fat, don’t you?”
Leanne walked around the desk, bent down and gave her dad a kiss on his forehead. Even though they had their differences, some of them severe, she loved the old man. Admired him for his dedication to his work. He was a great doctor all the time, and a not-so-great father some of the time. In the scheme of things, she supposed he did the best that he could. “You haven’t gained a pound in all the years I’ve known you and I don’t think Dora’s going to change that,” she said. Then she went off in search of Caleb.
* * *
Caleb’s first inclination was to look away when he noticed Leanne coming toward him. But that was the sixteen-year-old boy in him reacting. Apparently, when it came to Leanne, he was much closer to being that sixteen-year-old boy than he was a thirty-six-year-old man, because he did glance away about the same time his heart did a little clutch. So, he fixed his attention on the clock above the cafeteria cash register. Got involved in some heavy-duty studying of the way the hand that counted the seconds jerked as it ticked from moment to moment.
“Caleb?” she said, stopping directly in front of him, extending her hand to him. “How are you?”
He glanced up at her, smiled politely, stood, and accepted her handshake. “Leanne,” he responded, then allowed himself a two-second appraisal of her, from head to toe. Beautiful was the word that first popped into his mind. Then stunning. Followed by caution. All while the jerky hand of the clock ticked loud enough to taunt him and cause him to sweat.
She let go of his hand and returned the same stare he’d just given her. Only, a little longer than two seconds. “I had no idea you’d come back to Marrell. Odd coincidence we’re both here at the same time, isn’t it?” she finally said.
She looked like she wanted to sit down with him. Had her hands on the back of the chair, ready to pull it out from the table. Problem was, he wasn’t ready to have her there. Wasn’t ready to have her attempt polite conversation or reminiscences. Wasn’t ready for anything, where Leanne Sinclair was concerned. “I suppose it was bound to happen at some point, since you’re going to be my new boss.” Said deliberately and stiffly because he didn’t want to leave the impression that he wanted to be friendly. Not with her.
Despite his best efforts to put up an almost visible wall between them, she pulled out the chair and seated herself across from him. Looking too damned pleasant. “Yeah, well, Dad and I have a difference of opinion on that. Which I don’t want to talk about right now. Instead, tell me all about yourself.”
He sat back down, looked down at the half-eaten Cobb salad sitting in front of him, then pushed it away. Suddenly his appetite was gone. “Not much to tell.” At least, not much to tell her.
She adjusted in her chair, folded her hands on the table in front of her and stared him straight in the eyes. “Dad says you have a little boy?”
“Matthew. He’s five. Closer to six now.”
“It’s hard to believe that you—that we’ve gotten that old. Last time I talked to you, you were what? Sixteen? Seventeen? And now you’re a dad?”
“Yep. I’m a dad,” he said, his voice still purposely stiff.
“Are you OK, Caleb?” she asked. “You seem...quiet.”
“Just thinking about all I’ve got lined up for the afternoon.” Not true, but it sufficed as the truth because what point was there in being blunt? Or telling her that he didn’t want to be anywhere near her? Their close proximity was inevitable, at least for now, so why make it more difficult than it already was?
“Need some help? I don’t have anything to do, and I’d be glad to pitch in.”
“No. I’m fine. Only have a half-dozen patients scheduled, and I don’t have anyone admitted to the hospital right now, so I’m good. But...thanks.” She was trying so hard to break through to him, it almost made him feel bad that he was keeping his distance. But he didn’t trust Leanne. He’d learned his lesson with her years ago, and it had been a hard one to learn—that life, and people, could be cruel. She’d shown him that, and he had no reason to believe she’d changed. Of course, there was no reason to believe she hadn’t changed either. Consequently, he was fresh out of benefits-of-the-doubt where Leanne, or women in general, were concerned. She’d hurt him once too many times to yield even an inch for her. So had his ex-wife.
While the hurt was still fresh with Nancy, and Matthew was a constant reminder of that, going on to twenty years was a long time to hold on to all that hurt from Leanne. So, maybe it was just the whole relationship thing in general that he didn’t want anywhere near him. At least, that was the thought he held on to when he did the polite thing and went to get her a glass of iced tea. Extra lemon, one artificial sweetener—something he shouldn’t remember from the old days, yet did. But why? Caleb blew out a heavily frustrated breath as he carried her tea back to their table; impatient with himself for hanging on to such a trite little detail among a barrage of so many other larger, more impactful ones.
“Thanks for the tea,” she said after taking her first sip. “I’m surprised you remembered how I take it.”
“It came back to me,” he lied. There were many things about Leanne he’d never forgotten. The way she tilted her head slightly to the right when she laughed. Or entered a room with such purpose she drew everybody’s attention without even trying. Even the virulent expression that came over her when she was getting ready to put him down in front of his friends. Make fun of him. Lead him on, only to humiliate him.
“I know we weren’t great friends back when we were teenagers,” she said, “but it’s nice seeing you again. I’ve lost touch with pretty much everybody else. So, what have you been doing with yourself all these years...besides being a doctor and a dad? I heard you were in the military?”
Well, he did have to hand it to her. She was trying hard to be friendly. But it was difficult buying into something he didn’t trust. Difficult buying into that friendliness. “Went into the Army after jail. They put me through med school, then I went to a base hospital in Germany, as a surgeon. By the time I was thirty-one, I’d met Nancy, was well on my way to being a dad, and before my first anniversary in Germany, I was newly married and newly deployed to Afghanistan.
“My first deployment was short because they let me go back to Germany for Matthew’s birth. Then sent me back into combat when he was three months old. I was pretty successful in battlefield surgery there for nine months, then got wounded, then sent back to Germany to rehab and got divorced since she’d decided she didn’t like being tied down. When the military sent me stateside, I rehabbed a little more in Boston and concluded I’d never be a surgeon again, not that I’d had much time to be one before. So, off to California to rehab for a few more months, then took a job there, hated it. Went to Houston, hated it. Philadelphia...the same.
“Finally, by the time Matthew was three and I was beginning to realize he needed stability, I landed a good job in Vegas, and settled down. But it was a horrible life for Matthew, who was getting old enough that his surroundings were making a difference. He didn’t get to go out and play. His musical talent was beginning to appear but there was no one to guide it. No friends. Plus, his intellect set him apart from just about everything and everyone, and he was becoming a very unhappy, sullen little guy.
“So... Marrell. Primarily because Hans Schilling was here, and I want Matthew in his program.”
“Then you didn’t come back only because you wanted to come home?”
“I’ve been reading about Schilling for two years. Wasn’t thrilled that he’d ended up in Marrell, since I didn’t want to end up here. But it is what it is. You have a kid, you turn your life inside out for him.” It all sounded so cut-and-dried, even though it was anything but. And it tumbled out in far more abundance than he would have liked, and much too easily to be comfortable with.
“Sounds like quite a...journey. For both of you.”
It was. A very rocky one because he was scared every step of it. Scared for Matthew, who needed more stability than he thought he could give. Scared for himself because every moment of every day he wondered if he was good enough to parent Matthew. “It is, but I’m hoping Marrell’s our last stop. So, how about you? What have you been doing with yourself all these years?” He asked, not because he cared so much, but because he wanted to focus his thoughts elsewhere. Get rid of the ones that plagued him day in, day out.
“Pretty much med school, then medical practice. A couple of promotions. One I backed out of because it didn’t suit me. Haven’t had time for anything else.”
“Then you’re not married?” He wasn’t sure why he’d asked because he didn’t care.
She laughed. “Not yet, but...” She smiled, shrugged, then took a sip of tea. “I always knew you were going to be a doctor. Knew I was, too. But both of us here, back in Marrell...”
“I’m here because most everything I do now is for Matthew. No other reason.” He wanted to be clear about that. Wanted her to know he made time for little else. Because, if she was looking for a friendship, or anything else from him...
“It was difficult on Dad, raising me alone, so I’m sure it’s just as difficult for you. I’d like to meet him sometime, if we can arrange it.”
She sounded sincere, and the gentleness in her eyes wasn’t the same look he’d gotten used to seeing there all those years ago. “He’s not settling in too well yet. My parents have him while I’m at work, and I have him the rest of the time, and he’s just not finding his niche here.”
“But if he gets on with Hans Schilling, I’m sure that will help him find his place. It’s got to be difficult for him, all these changes he’s gone through at such a young age. When I was his age, I don’t think I’d ever been any farther away than Saka’am, or Westslope.”
“He’s been cool with the travel part. He’s a lot like I was, though. Too smart to fit in. Always trying to wrap himself in his own little world.”
“When you were a kid, I remember you used to like to hang out at the hospital and read Dad’s medical texts for fun. You’d sit in his study for hours, reading, all wrapped up in a cocoon you’d built around yourself to shut people out.”
“Matthew does that with his practicing.”
“What does he do for fun?” she asked.
“He considers what he’s doing fun. Like I said, Matthew is...serious. Too smart for his own good, too talented for his age, and the things that are fun for him are all tied up in that. Probably too much, which is why I’m hoping Schilling will accept him, because I think training tailored specifically for Matthew’s talents will help him see there’s more to life than his studies and his music.”
“He needs to have the kind of fun we did back then,” she said, sounding as if she was trying to convince herself. “Remember how I always looked forward to seeing you?”
Seriously, that’s what she remembered? That, and not the rest of it? How convenient, not dwelling on the way she’d treated him. But why? Because she wanted something from him again? The way she always had in the past? Ask for something, lead him on with expectations, then smash him to bits? “Yeah, good times,” he said, trying not to sound too bitter even though, to his own ears, his words came out, as they said, as bitter as gall. “That was a long time ago, Leanne. I try not to dredge up old memories.”
“Me neither, to be honest. All I wanted was to get out of Marrell. I think everything I did from the age of thirteen or fourteen was centered on that.”
Or humiliating him. “But you’re back. So, are you going to stay?”
“No. But Dad’s trying hard to convince me to.”
“He is pretty set on having you run the hospital.”
“I know. But I’m set on getting someone else to do it for me so I can go back to Seattle. Which isn’t what Dad planned for me, and it’s really causing me a lot of conflict because I don’t want to hurt him. But I don’t want to get hurt in this either.”
“You coming home is all he’s talked about ever since I got here,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Well, times are changing and that’s going to include my dad, who’s totally resisted change pretty much as long as I’ve been alive. I’m worried about him, though.”
Yes, times did change but, fundamentally, did people? This Leanne seemed nicer than the one he remembered. She seemed more genuine. Closer to the younger one, the little girl who’d been his friend for a time. Or was it all a deception, the way Nancy had been a deception? Thinking about all those pretexts in his life and how they’d hurt him, Caleb forced himself to smile. “Well, times may change everywhere else, but I wonder if they ever do in Marrell.”
Leanne laughed. “Not so much. Mrs. Purcell still runs the grocery, Mr. Merrick is still the only mechanic in town, the post office is still in the back room of the hardware store. But there’s a health club now, and the hospital. I suppose everything gives way to progress at some point, don’t you think?”
Despite his feelings, Caleb chuckled. “And there’s a stoplight on Main Street, and a coffee shop and even a movie theater.”
“Second-run movies, though,” she said, wrinkling her nose as she smiled.
“So, Seattle?” he asked, to get his mind off the past and the comfort beginning to set in that he simply didn’t want there. “Never been.”
“It’s a nice place. Home. Career.”
“Good life?”
She frowned, and paused a moment. “Most of the time, yes. I have a pretty good life.”
“Which you don’t want to change by moving back to Marrell.”
“Something like that. And that brings me to the point of this conversation. Since you’re staying, or thinking about staying, would you consider running the hospital?”
So that’s what it was, Caleb thought. Step one. She wanted something.
“Maybe even look at buying it sometime in the future?”
Step two: lead him on with an expectation. “Buying it?”
“Something I don’t want Dad knowing just yet. I have some plans...nothing solid, but I may be making a big change in my life, and it’s all about being in Seattle. Not here.”
“Would congratulations be in order?” he asked, waiting for step three to drop down on him. Because it would. It always had with her.
She shook her head. “Not yet. Eric’s been offered a big promotion, and we want to make sure he’s settled into that before we take the next step. So, the timing for that is a little off right now. But in a while...”
Caleb shook his head, and blew out a long breath. Well, her steps were out there. At least, most of them. And he hadn’t had to wait too long. But he had some steps of his own to take and, until Matthew was settled, he wasn’t sure in which direction they were going. “Let me think about it.” Because if it was a legitimate offer, it was interesting. Even tempting. But he wasn’t going to allow himself to buy too far into it, as he’d bought too far into her so many times before. Still, she did need someone here. So maybe... “I’m not making any permanent decision until I find out what’s going to happen with Matthew. If Schilling accepts him, we stay. If he doesn’t, we’ll probably move on until we find the place he needs.”
“I understand, and I won’t press you for an answer, because I know what I’m proposing is a pretty major life-changer. So, take all the time you need. In the meantime, Dad’s going to have a fish fry tonight. Care to come? Maybe we can reminisce about old times.”
“I usually have plans with Matthew every evening.” That was the truth. The other truth was, he still didn’t want to reminisce about anything with Leanne, even if they’d just shared a few nice moments. What was there to reminisce about, besides memories of hurtful events?
“Then breakfast some morning? We could meet at Millie’s Diner down on Main Street, and have some of her world-famous pancakes.”
“Don’t eat pancakes. And it takes me a while to get Matthew ready in the morning so he can spend the day with his grandmother.”
The smile on Leanne’s face finally melted, replaced by a look of confusion. “You don’t want to get together with me, do you? Did I do something to offend you?”
Too many things to discuss. Too many memories he didn’t want to deal with. Nancy had wiped him out and he didn’t want to step back into the ring to take a beating from another contender. “Look, Leanne. I’m busy right now. I’m trying to settle into a new life, set up a home, adjust to a new job, get Matthew situated... I’ve got a lot going on, and not enough time to get everything done.” That much was true. He didn’t. “So, since the only thing you could possibly want from me has to do with the job, drop into my office, ask Betty, the clinic’s secretary, to find a spot in my schedule for you, then put your name in it.”
“You used to be friendlier, Caleb,” she commented, pushing back her tea, then standing.
“I also used to be more gullible. But like you said, times have changed, and I’m part of that change.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked him.
“Whatever you want it to mean.” With that, he picked up his lunch tray, carried it over to the dirty dish area, set it down and left the cafeteria. Didn’t look back. Wasn’t even tempted to. But it did surprise him how all that water he’d thought had long since flowed under the bridge hadn’t flowed as far as he’d thought it had.
Chapter Two
WHAT SHE’D PLANNED and what she got were two entirely different things. Funny, she didn’t remember Caleb being so cool. And he was cool—almost cold. She recalled him being a nice boy, one she’d had a crush on when she’d been little. His intellect, his humor... Then, when he’d got a little older, he’d turned wild. Gotten himself in a lot of trouble. But it seemed he’d worked through all that, because look at him now—to all appearances a great dad, and a great doctor, according to her dad. Well, time had a way of changing people. She certainly wasn’t the same person she’d been whilst growing up in Marrell. That girl had been so unsettled. This one knew her place.
“He wasn’t friendly at all, Dad,” she commented to Henry, who was headed out the front door of his cabin on his way to meet Dora. Leanne was sitting in the porch swing, looking out over the meadowlands to the south, enjoying the nothingness of the moment. She didn’t get too many of those in her life, and this one was nice. “Cordial, and having a hard time maintaining that.”
Henry stopped at the edge of the porch, at the top of the wooden stairs leading to the path below, then turned to face her. “Don’t know what to tell you, Leanne. He’s been very pleasant to me, and to everybody else around here. But he’s got some bad years behind him, so maybe that’s what you’re seeing coming out. Or maybe he was only having a bad afternoon.”
“No. This went beyond a bad afternoon. There was something else going on, something I can’t explain.” And it made her wonder if she did want him to run her hospital after all. Of course, who knew what had gone on in his life? Maybe her dad was right. Maybe she was catching a glimpse of his past. Whatever the case, until she knew more, she would give him the benefit of the doubt and keep the offer open.
But what if she’d seen his real personality?
“Want me to have a talk with him?” Henry asked, appearing impatient to hop down those steps and be on his way. “See if I can figure out what’s bothering him?”
She shook her head. “No. It’s his business, and it’s not my place to interfere. If he wants to talk, he can, but I won’t force him into it.” Because she didn’t like being forced into something she didn’t want to talk about, or admit, or do. A couple of months back she’d been promoted to the head of family practice, then discovered she hated being in charge. She wanted to go back to her old position where she dealt directly with her patients, knew their names and recognized faces, and didn’t have to contend with budgets and scheduling, personnel conflicts and solutions. So, she’d stepped down, returned to what she loved best.