Doctor, Mummy...Wife?

Nothing demanding, nothing deep and delving at first. Just a kiss between friends. That was the way she looked at it. Although the second kiss was more. It probed, and it was a real kiss—not just a friendly one. And it went on forever, grew in intensity until she was nearly breathless. Her face blushed and her hands trembled as she tried to bid him a nonchalant goodnight, which was nearly impossible to do given her rising feelings for him. So he didn’t want a woman with a child. But she couldn’t help the way she felt when she was around him, so what was she going to do?

“See you t-tomorrow,” she stammered as her knees trembled on her way through the door.

But before she could get inside Simon gave her a long, hard kiss. This one was deep and abiding. The kind of kiss reserved for dates and special occasions. The kind that set her heart on fire.

Dear Reader,

Years ago a friend of mine decided to have a baby on her own. Her biological clock was winding down and her doctor said her baby-making days were limited.

So she went through all the testing and finally had the baby she wanted—a fine, healthy baby girl. The joy of my friend’s life. Back then it was scandalous, making that kind of decision. People talked about her, raised their eyebrows in speculation, but my friend withstood it all because she knew exactly what she was doing. And she never regretted a second of it, or the years since then. Today her daughter is on the verge of graduating at the top of her class from nursing school and she’ll be an asset to her profession.

In my story Del finds herself in much the same spot. She wants the baby but doesn’t want the man. Until she meets my hero she pictures herself in a life without a man, and she’s quite happy there. Of course she meets the right man, and life changes for her. But in the meantime she proves that a woman can do it all and have it all these days. The old conventions no longer stand.

My friend never met the man of her dreams, but she was a strong, fantastic mother and one of the best nurses I’ll ever know. All because that was what she chose for herself. So whether or not it’s a traditional life doesn’t matter. We can do it all if we have a mind to. My heroine does, and she finds just what she wants in her life. So did my friend.

Until next time, wishing you health and happiness,

DD

Starting in non-fiction, DIANNE DRAKE penned hundreds of articles and seven books under the name JJ Despain. In 2001 she began her romance-writing career with The Doctor Dilemma, published by Harlequin Duets. In 2005 Dianne’s first Medical Romance, Nurse in Recovery, was published, and with more than 20 novels to her credit she has enjoyed writing for Mills & Boon ever since.

Doctor,

Mummy…Wife?

Dianne Drake

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Praise for Dianne Drake

‘A very emotional, heart-tugging story. A beautifully written book. This story brought tears to my eyes in several parts.’

—Goodreads on P.S. You’re a Daddy!

Contents

COVER

INTRODUCTION

Dear Reader

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

TITLE PAGE

Praise for Dianne Drake

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

COPYRIGHT

CHAPTER ONE

DR. DEL CARSON stumbled out of bed and groggily dragged herself into the nursery. A blue ceiling with white clouds, yellow walls with blue and white ducks and puppies greeted her as she turned on the overhead light and sighed.

“What now, sweetie?” she asked in a typically sleep-deprived thick voice as she trudged over to the crib and looked in at the six-month-old, who looked up at her and laughed at her with glee, as if he was eager to get his day started in the middle of the night. “Is it a diaper, or is this just your way of making sure your mommy doesn’t get to sleep more than an hour at a time?”

Or maybe he just had her wrapped around his little finger; since it was just the two of them, she’d spent the first six months of his life catering to his every need.

It didn’t matter, really. This was what she’d signed on for when she’d decided to become a mom, and any chance to make her baby’s life better was welcome.

Tonight Charlie was particularly restless, all bright-eyed and ready to play, but, personally, she was played out. Even though the diaper seemed clean and dry, she changed it anyway out of habit, then sat down in the Victorian rocker, the one her mother had rocked her in, rocked little Charles Edward Carson until he was ready to go back to sleep for another hour. Two if Del was lucky.

Single motherhood was difficult, and she got all the support she could want from her family and friends. Being an only child, though, she missed the camaraderie of a sister or brother to take part in Charlie’s life. He had no aunts or uncles, no cousins. Not on her side, and the father’s side didn’t matter since he was just a matchup on paper. A statistic that had struck her fancy.

It made her wonder sometimes if she should have another baby so Charlie wouldn’t be raised in an isolated situation the way he was now. Del was a firm believer that children did better with siblings, and that was a thought she had tucked away in the back of her mind to visit in another year or two. “We’ll get it worked out, Charlie,” she said to the baby in her arms. “One way or another this will all have a happy ending.”

The issue of single motherhood to deal with took an awful lot of hours when it was just the two of them—her and Charlie. She was continually amazed how much time someone so young could take up in the span of a single day. It was as if he’d hatched a plan to run away with every free second she had. But she loved it, loved her choice to become a mother on her own. No father involved, except Donor 3045, and she was grateful for his good genes because he’d given her such a healthy, beautiful child. The perfect child, as far as she was concerned.

She loved being a mother, even with the inconveniences. Loved spending time with her son. “My one and only true love,” she would tell him. “For now it’s just the two of us against the world.”

Her parents lived in Costa Rica. They were supportive but not close by, which was one of the reasons she’d chosen to do this now. Her parents would have spoiled little Charlie rotten, and that was fine up to a point, but not to the extent she feared they might have gone. After all, five years in a horrible relationship had made them spoil her rotten when she’d finally found the courage to end it. That was just who they were, but she didn’t want to raise a spoiled-rotten or privileged child. So they’d made their plans and, accordingly, she’d made hers. And she didn’t regret it one little bit.

“Well, Charlie,” she said as she put the baby back into his crib. “Are you going to let your momma sleep the rest of the night?” She was so tired she gave some thought to simply curling up in the rocker and pulling up a comforter. But little Charlie was fast asleep, so she held out some hope for three hours of sleep before he woke up and wanted to be fed, changed or just cuddled some more.

The life of a single mom. It wasn’t easy, but she was taking advantage of it because in another two weeks’ time she was trading in her maternity leave and returning to her medical practice with some on call and nighttime exclusions. Charlie was going to the hospital day care so she’d have easy access to him whenever she needed her baby fix. Sure, she was going to miss him. But she missed her old life, too, and she happened to be a staunch advocate of women who wanted it all. She certainly did. Every last speck of it except the part where there was a man included, and she wasn’t ready to go there again. Not for a very long time to come. If ever again. And if she ever did that again he was going to have to be awfully special. Someone who’d love Charlie as much as she did.

Del, short for Delphine, sighed. She loved her work as a pediatrician in a private practice attached to Chicago Lakeside Hospital. In fact she had a passion for her work that couldn’t be quelled by anything but work. Yet somehow, now that she was a mom, she knew her sensibilities had changed. To a doctor who now had a child, those little coughs and colds meant so much more. And when a mother’s instinct dictated something wasn’t right, the mother’s instinct won. Being a mother-pediatrician rather than a plain old pediatrician was going to be a big advantage and, as much as she hated thinking about leaving Charlie behind for her work hours, she was looking forward to getting back to her normal life and trying to make all things fit together. It wasn’t going to be easy, but if there was one thing Del was, it was determined, and she was determined to make sure all things worked together in her life.

“Good night again, love,” she said quietly as she tiptoed from the room, turned on the night-light and lumbered down the hall back into her own bed. Unfortunately, sleep didn’t happen as quickly as she’d hoped, and she lay awake staring off into the dark for about half an hour before her eyelids finally drooped. “I’m a lucky woman,” she whispered into the dark as she was drifting. “I have everything.” A beautiful child, a strong, supportive family, a good job. Best of all, no man to interfere.

She’d given away five long years to a man, always holding out the hope that he was the one who would complete her life. Problem was, he was completing the lives of several other women while she and Eric were going nowhere. So when she finally opened her eyes at the five-year point and took a good, hard look at the situation, she kicked him to the curb and decided she was in charge of creating and fulfilling her own dreams. No one else except one anonymous sperm donor needed.

It was a good choice, and as she drifted off to sleep, she did so with a smile on her lips.

* * *

Dr. Simon Michaels took a look out over the receptionist’s shoulder at all the mothers and fathers waiting with sick children. It was cold and flu season, and if he didn’t pick up the bug from one of these kids it would be a miracle. “How many more do I have to see?” he asked Rochelle, the girl at the desk. Rochelle was a tiny little thing who looked like one of the patients, and by comparison Simon felt he overshadowed her by a good foot. He, with his broad shoulders and longish brown hair, had to make sure he didn’t treat Rochelle as a kid because, after all, she was well over twenty-one, and very efficient in her job.

She looked over the top of her glasses then laughed. “That’s just what’s left of the morning appointment block. You’re going to have at least that many this afternoon, and tonight’s your night for on call, so look out. Around here we look at Halloween as scary but not for the same reason most people do. We’d much rather see a goblin than a flu bug.”

“Any word on when the mysterious Del Carson will be back?” He’d been hired to replace Del during her leave, then asked to stay on as a permanent member of the pediatrics clinic team. He’d heard of Del, but never met her. In fact, what he’d been told was that she was an excellent doctor, if not an overprotective mother who didn’t want to come in for fear that she might contract some disease and take it home to her baby. He didn’t know if that was true or not, but the only truth he knew was that she was merely a name in passing. Someone who would be his boss when she returned.

“Be patient,” Rochelle warned. “She’ll get here when she’s ready. That new baby of hers is taking up a fierce amount of her time right now, but I expect she’ll be back in a couple weeks or so, if she doesn’t change her mind and stay home another half year.” Rochelle smiled. “She loves being a mother.”

“And there’s no father?”

Rochelle shook her head. “Her choice. And she’s proud of it, not shy in the least to talk about it.”

“Well, that’s something you’ve got to admire—a woman who knows what she wants and goes out and gets it.” It couldn’t be easy, and it would get a whole lot more difficult once she was back at work. He wondered if she fully realized what she was letting herself in for. “Can’t wait to meet her. It will be nice having more help,” he said, even though it wasn’t his intention to complain. And he wouldn’t. After all, he had a job in the location of his dreams. He was finally back home in Chicago after all those years in Boston and, as they said, “There’s no place like home.”

In fact, he lived only a few blocks from where he was raised. All within sight of the Navy Pier and the lakeshore. It was good. Pediatrics was such a full field here, though, that when he’d got the call to come and interview, he couldn’t believe his good luck. No place at County Hospital, no place at Lakeside. Just no place. Then this spot came open—the pediatric clinic attached to Lakeside—and it was a godsend at a time that couldn’t have suited him any better. Divorced from Yvette, who hadn’t turned out to be the woman he’d thought she was, working in a practice where he was clearly never going to advance, cynical about life in general, feeling as if the whole world were closing in around his bad choices... Coming home was better, even if his workload was crazy big right now.

What the hell did that matter, though? It wasn’t as if he had anything else going on in his life other than his work—a situation that suited him just fine. In fact, to avoid some of the long lonely nights he even took call for his colleagues just to give him something to do. Some might call it crazy, but he called it picking up the pieces of his broken life.

“So the plan is for her to be back in two weeks?” He grimaced. There were two weeks of work waiting to see him right now, and he was the only general pediatrician in the house today. The other two had succumbed to the virus that was being spread like wildfire. Leaving him to roll up his sleeves and just pitch in, keeping his fingers crossed that he stayed healthy so he could handle the workload.

Pulling up his surgical mask and snapping on a fresh pair of gloves, he sighed. “Send in the next one.”

Rochelle chuckled. “Wouldn’t it just be quicker to go out there, sit them in a circle and look at them as a group?”

“What would be easier would be flu shots. But people don’t think about getting vaccinated until they’re already sick with the flu.”

She pointed to her upper arm. “Got mine. Hope you got yours.”

“I’ve been a pediatrician too long not to.” But that didn’t mean he wasn’t susceptible. Because vaccinations weren’t foolproof, as his colleagues had discovered.

Two more weeks and Del Carson might reappear. Admittedly, after six months of hearing glowing reports about her, he was anxious to meet her. “You don’t suppose we could convince Dr. Carson to come back early, do you?” he asked as he grabbed up the next patient chart. Five years old, fever, runny nose, cough, generally out of sorts.

“She values her baby time. She’ll be back when she’s back.”

Of all the bad timing to be on leave... He signaled for his nurse, Ellie Blanchard, and off they went, back to work. Vaccinating children and parents alike, dispensing antinausea medicine, and generally just trying to make it through the day. “Next,” he said as he stepped into Exam Four. “And get me two more ready to go. We’ve got a lot of patients to see in the next hour.” Glancing up at the clock on the wall, he shook his head. Not enough time. Not nearly enough time even if he worked through his lunch hour.

* * *

No trying to hide it, she had tears streaming down her cheeks as she handed Charlie to the day-care director then headed down the winding walkway to the clinic. It wasn’t as if she didn’t trust the center to take good care of him. They had an excellent reputation and the staff in general spoke very highly of them—but this was her baby she was handing over and being only a building away didn’t make any difference. She hated doing it. Considered at the very last minute whether or not she was ready to go back to work or if another six months’ maternity leave might be called for.

But one look at the swamped clinic told her she was doing the right thing. Other children needed her, too. And admittedly, she did feel that tingle of excitement the moment she stepped through the front door—a tingle that told her she was back where she belonged.

There were lots of single moms just like her who left their children and went to work every day. She didn’t have someone to support the two of them. It was up to her. Besides, she loved her work. Still, she was sniffling as she approached her office door and went inside. Leaving Charlie behind made her feel so empty, so alone. “Suck it up,” she told herself as she pulled on her lab coat, the one with her name embroidered onto the pocket. “You knew this was how it was going to be when you did this.”

Still, she hadn’t counted on it being so difficult. “But you’re lucky,” she said as she looked in the bathroom mirror and touched up her streaky eyes. “You’ve got excellent day care and you’re only a few steps away.” A few steps that seemed like miles. Damn it! She wanted to be home with her baby even though she knew she was needed here. Torn in half—that was how she felt. Completely ripped down the center.

Taking in a deep breath, she exited her office and stepped almost directly into the path of a doctor she didn’t recognize. The new hire? “Sorry,” she said, trying to find a smile for him even though it simply wasn’t in her to be found.

“You must be Dr. Carson,” he said, extending his hand to her.

She gripped it weakly. “And you are... Was that Dr. Michaels?”

“Call me Simon.”

“And I’m Del,” she said, appraising the hunk of man standing right in front of her. OK, so she’d vowed off involvement, but she could still look, and what caught her attention first, outside his very soft hands, were his stunning green eyes. They were serious, but she could almost picture them smiling and sexy.

“Well, Del, I’m glad you’re finally back. We’ve been too busy to make much sense of our patient load for a while, and we’ve needed you.”

“My baby needed me more than the clinic did.”

“I imagine he did,” Simon said, “but you haven’t been here and the pace has been crazy.”

She looked over his shoulder to a normal waiting room. “Looks like things are under control to me.”

“Want to know how long it’s been since I’ve been able to take a lunch break?”

She laughed. “No guesses from me. We all have to make sacrifices, Dr. Michaels. Some bigger than others.”

“You’re referring to leaving your baby in day care?”

“That, and other things.” But mostly that.

“Well, at least it’s a good day care and nearby. That’s an advantage for you.”

“But I don’t have to like it.”

“All I said was I’m glad you’re finally back. You were needed.”

“And I appreciate that, but I was also needed at home.” Where she wished she could have stayed. “But it’s nice to be missed. I take it you don’t have any children?”

He paused for a moment, then winced. “No children. Divorced. No future plans for anything except working.”

“And yet you complain about too much work.”

“Not complain so much as remark. We’re busy here. We needed you. Simple as that.” He chuckled. “Almost as much as you need me.”

“Well, you’ve got me there. We do need you, especially right now.”

Simon nodded. “During the flu outbreak the average wait time was an hour per patient. Which is too long for a sick kid to have to sit there and wait.”

“See, you could have told me that right off.”

“Pent-up frustrations,” he said. “I’ve been working hard.”

“I can see that.” She smiled at him. “Well, you’re right. An hour is too long. We like to guarantee no more than twenty minutes. Shorter if we can get away with it.”

“Sorry about my attitude, but all I could picture in my mind was you sitting at home playing with your baby when we had patients lined up in the hallways.”

“Trust me, it wasn’t all play. Babies require a lot of work.”

“I know, I know. I’m think I’m just tired... I know it must have been hard work, especially on your own,” he said.

“So how about we get off to a fresh start? Hello, I’m Del Carson and you’re...”

“Simon Michaels.” He held out his hand to shake hers and they both smiled. “So how was your maternity leave?”

“Great. I hated for it to be over with but all good things must end. So, how many patients do we have to see this morning?”

“About twenty, barring emergencies.”

She nodded. “I’ll grab some charts and get started.”

“And after I get my foot out of my mouth, I’ll do the same.”

Del laughed. “You were right up to a point. I was entitled to my maternity leave and I don’t regret taking it. But things shouldn’t have gotten so out of control here at the clinic. Someone should have called me and I might have been able to get a couple of our specialists out here to help with the overflow.”

“I tried,” Simon confessed, “but I’ll admit my attitude might have been better.”

“I didn’t read anything about a bad attitude in your application or your letters of recommendation. And even though I never met you until just a few minutes ago, I called your superiors in Boston and they gave you glowing reviews.”

“Probably anxious to get me out of there. I’m a pretty fair doctor but I do let things get to me too easily, I suppose. You know, take it all too personally.”

“We all do at times. And I suppose especially the newcomer who’s being the logical target.” For a moment, a softness flashed through his eyes.

“Six months is a long time to be away.”

“Not long enough,” she replied. “I was actually thinking about another six, but I love my work as much as you seem to love yours. So I came back.”

“Straight into the arms of a disgruntled employee.”

“Nice, sturdy arms, though. And I’m willing to bet they hold no grudges.”

“Me? Hold a grudge?” He laughed outright. “Grudge is my middle name. Ask my ex-wife.”

“Think I’ll stay out of the family problems.”

“So, I understand you’re raising your baby all on your own.”

“Yes, it’s just Charlie and me but that’s the way I planned it.”

“Well, I suppose that’s the way to do it if you want to keep your autonomy.”

“More like my sanity.” They meandered down the hall to the clinic’s nursing hub and she picked up the first chart off the stack. “And contrary to popular belief, I am sane.”

“Reasonable, too, dealing with me as diplomatically as you have this morning. I must confess that when I heard you were coming back I put together some mighty well-chosen words for you.”

“So I noticed,” she said as she opened the chart and looked at the info contained inside. “But they could have been worse.” The first patient was a child named Sam with some sort of rash. Her first fear was a communicable rash and her next fear was that she might transfer something to Charlie. Truth was, if she didn’t get over her irrational fears, she wasn’t going to be any good as a pediatrician anymore. Most kids that came in were communicable and if she worried about carrying something home to her baby every time she came into contact with a sick kid, she’d drive herself crazy. Plus there was also the possibility that she might be too cautious to make a proper diagnosis. Obsession. That was what it was called. She had an obsession, and she wondered for a moment if she should seek professional help for it. But the instant she stepped in Sam’s exam room and saw the rash she knew the poor kid was miserable. He was obviously allergic to something with which he was coming into contact.