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“OK, then I’ll let the child services here know you’re going to stay here and take care of Molly instead of putting her in a foster-home. It’s a good decision, son, one you won’t regret. And you are doing the right thing for the child.”
As Henry lumbered through the front doors at Gracie House, Rafe thought about the child who was, right now, sitting in Grace’s office, trying her hardest to be a small replica of Grace. So maybe it was a good decision to stay here after all. And maybe he wouldn’t regret it. But it wasn’t fair to Molly. None of it was, and Molly shouldn’t have to find out just how much. That was something he couldn’t prevent, though. At best, he could only ease the transition because, God only knew, he didn’t have anything else inside him. At least, not what Molly needed.
But Edie had it all. Everything Molly needed…It did make him wonder.
* * *
She’d spent most of the afternoon trying to avoid the obvious…her pseudo-date with Rafe Corbett. When she thought about it in terms of spending time with Molly, she felt better. But when Rafe’s image entered her mind, it turned into butterflies in her stomach. He was tall, broad-shouldered. Short brown hair, dark eyes she assumed were also brown, deep tan. And a dimple in his chin. She had to admit a certain weakness for dimples, thanks to the old Cary Grant movies she used to watch with her mother on the days her mother hadn’t been able to get out of bed. Butterfly-makers, for sure. And here she was, primping in front of the car’s rear-view mirror, getting herself ready to go. If she had a list of her top ten most frightening things to do, riding a horse would take a solid place at number five, right after climbing a mountain, jumping out of an airplane, going to the moon and getting involved with the wrong man again.
Thinking about Alex Hastings made her shiver. Wrong man, bad marriage, regrettable decision. More than anything, a huge waste of precious time. One year in, one year out, and almost every day of it filled with regrets for the time she couldn’t get back. But she’d been alone, scared, confused, and he’d been the easy port in her storm. Water under the bridge now. Regrets, yes. Huge ones, not really. Fond memories, not one.
OK, so she’d lived a sheltered life, and done dumb things because of it. She’d admit it, embrace it and, hopefully, learn from it. That was, quintessentially, her…Edie Parker, always behind, taking bad detours, slow to arrive at her life. Well, she’d finally traversed the biggest bumps and arrived. Now, no more detours. She needed to advance herself. Take graduate courses, move along even further in her career. Avoid the bumps at all cost. Or, most of them, since this little horseback excursion promised an afternoon filled with literal ones. But she was looking forward to the time with Molly. Even with Rafe. So that was the price. But the horse?
She had nothing against horses in general. In fact, she loved animals…all animals. Horses, though, only from a distance. And this seemed a good distance, sitting at the end of the driveway of Gracie House, looking well past it to the paddock full of horses, trying to convince herself she’d survive the afternoon reasonably intact.
“You accepted the invitation, so do it,” she said, sucking in a nervous breath through her teeth as she turned into the drive. She drove at a pace slower than an elderly snail, all the way up to the house. Horses…Rafe Corbett…all at once? This was precisely the time when she should have been asking herself what she had done because, honestly, she didn’t know.
* * *
“What the hell is she doing?” Rafe asked under his breath, watching Edie coming up the driveway, her car creeping slower than he thought a car could go.
“Looks to me like she’s avoiding something,” Johnny Redmond commented.
Well, Rafe knew that feeling. Aversions and avoidances. He was the master of them. Practiced them to perfection. Could write a book on all the various techniques. “Look, will you bring Donder around for me?”
“You up to that?” the stable manager asked. “He’s got a lot of spirit in him, especially now that Grace hasn’t taken him out for a while. Your aunt liked it, didn’t want it broken down.”
Rafe smiled. Donder wasn’t the only one with spirit around here. Even if the spirit stepping out of the car right now was fairly tentative, it was there, as big and bold as Donder’s. But with a heart equally as big. “No, I’m probably not up to it,” he told Johnny. “But I want to give it a try anyway. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. My aunt subscribed to that philosophy.” But Rafe wasn’t sure if he meant Donder or Edie.
“Good thing you fix broken bones,” Johnny said, on his way to Donder’s stall.
But Rafe barely heard the words, he was so focused on Edie’s approach. She was stunning. “I’m not convinced you really want to ride,” he called out to her long before she was near the stable, startled by how excited he was to see her again yet not willing to admit to himself that he’d thought about her more than a time or two that afternoon.
“That makes two of us,” she called back. An old-fashioned wicker picnic basket swung from her left arm, while she clasped a red plaid blanket to her chest with her right. “I wasn’t sure what kind of food you were bringing, so I threw together a few things…fried chicken, fruit salad, freshly baked croissants, chocolate-chip cookies…”
“My aunt’s chocolate-chip cookie recipe?” he asked, hopefully.
“My own. I had a lot of time to cook, growing up. Chocolate-chip cookies were one of my favorites to make.”
Well, she had mighty big shoes to fill in the chocolate-chip cookie department, he thought. “So, you fixed all that food this afternoon?” How could anyone look so downright girl-next-door and sexy at the same time? Even the way her ponytail swished back and forth captivated him.
“I took a few hours off work this afternoon…time left over from the last holiday I didn’t take. Haven’t really done much cooking for a while, and it was fun.”
“Better than the peanut-butter sandwiches I was going to go slap together.” Everything about her took his breath away—her blue jeans and white cotton tank top, her white athletic shoes. Simple, nice and natural. Not like the sophisticated, polished women who moved in his social circles in the city. Yet seeing Edie, he did have to admit there was a little emotion trying to creep into a place where he hadn’t felt any in longer than he cared to recollect. Was it…excitement? Could he actually be a little eager over the anticipation of spending some time with her?
No, that couldn’t be it. He didn’t get excited. So it had to be a mild case of relief as Edie was here to stand in as the buffer between Molly and him. Relief. Yes, that made perfect sense. Still, seeing Edie with her hamper full of food, looking the way she did…
OK, maybe his pulse had sped up a beat or two. But, hell, he liked home-made fried chicken. Hadn’t had it ages. That alone was worth a couple of extra beats. And the cookies…“Anyway, how about we find you a ride? Any kind of horse you’re particularly drawn to? We’ve probably got just the one you want.”
“Or I could walk,” she ventured.
Molly stepped into the conversation at that point, went straight to Edie’s side and leaned into her the way an affectionate cat leaned into a person’s leg. “You could ride Ice Cream, Edie.”
“Ice Cream?” both Edie and Rafe asked together.
“Aunt Grace let me name her. She was really sick when she came here to stay, and she wouldn’t eat anything. But I brought her a bowl of ice cream…vanilla. And she loved it. Aunt Grace said that’s what made her better again, so I thought it was a good name. And when I’m big enough to ride on my own, Aunt Grace is going to let me keep Ice Cream as my very own horse because she’s so gentle.”
“I think it’s a perfect name for her,” Edie said, slipping her arm around Molly’s shoulder. “And I’d be honored to ride Ice Cream.”
It was a natural gesture, Rafe noted. Not forced. Not even thought about. From where he stood, it looked like they could have, maybe should have, been mother and daughter. For a moment, he wondered if that could happen. “I think I saw her smile a little when you said her name.”
“Because she still likes ice cream, silly,” Molly said, giggling.
It was such a relief, seeing her act like a little girl her age should act. Rafe knew it had a lot to do with Edie, also with doing something normal from her life before all this tragedy. Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with him, for which he felt a little guilty because he felt…well, he wasn’t exactly sure what it was. Left out, maybe? But that was what he really wanted, wasn’t it? Not to be part of Molly’s permanent situation, not to let her get too attached to him. So, in a way, he was getting exactly what he wanted, yet it didn’t feel as right as it should have. In fact, it felt pretty darned bad, and he hadn’t expected that. “Well, I think Molly has picked you the perfect horse, Edie. Care to saddle up and give her a try?”
“Me, saddle up? Sure, I’ll give it a try, but first you’ve got to tell me which end of the saddle would face the front end of the horse?”
He chuckled. “OK, I get the hint.”
“Not a hint. A blatant statement that if you want to get this picnic under way, you’re going to be the one doing the saddling, while Molly and I go up to the house and make lemonade for the picnic. And I brought the lemons, just in case you didn’t have any.”
“I’d rather help with the saddles,” Molly offered, almost shyly. “Aunt Grace let me do that sometimes, and I know how. And in case Rafey doesn’t know where all the tack is kept…” She stepped away from Edie. “Do you need some help, Rafey?”
“Rafey?” Edie said, fighting back a laugh.
Molly nodded seriously. “That’s his name. Rafey.”
A look of undiluted sheepishness, along with a fierce, red blush, crept over Rafe’s face. The name Rafey wasn’t exactly the manly image he wanted to portray to Edie, or even to Molly, for that matter. But that machismo delusion was certainly shot all to pieces now, leaving him wondering why it even mattered. Because it shouldn’t. Yet it did. “That’s what Aunt Grace called me when I was a boy. She tried to stop when I was high-school age, figured it embarrassed me. Which it did. But it slipped out of her every now and again, and that’s probably where Molly heard the reference.”
“Uh-huh,” Molly piped up. “Aunt Grace always called you Rafey.”
“Rafey,” Edie repeated, smiling. “Well, it’s kind of cute, I’ll have to admit. Rafey…Rafey…” she repeated a couple of times, as if trying it on for size. “Has a nice ring to it. Dr. Rafey Corbett…lacks sophistication and pretense.” She grinned. “But it’s good.”
“Maybe it’s good, but only when you’re five years old,” Rafe said, as the embarrassment dissolved into good nature. “Not when you’re thirty-five.”
“So, then, what you’re telling me is that I can’t call you…” She liked the way his discomfort gave way to ease. Rafe was trying really hard to fit in, to relate to Molly, which gave her hope. It wasn’t a natural fit on him, but he was working on it and, at this point that’s all Edie could ask. For now, probably all Grace would have expected.
“What I’m telling you is that you can’t.” Rafe gave his head a crisp shake in emphasis, and Edie couldn’t help laughing. Rafe Corbett was a big man sitting in the saddle who was saddled with a little boy’s name. It was so endearing and, for a moment, she saw some vulnerability there. A little bit of softness clouding his eyes over a nickname, perhaps? Or maybe he was only reminiscing about something nice from the time when Grace had called him Rafey. Whatever it was, it made him less stiff. Not enough to be considered loose or relaxed, but he was definitely not so starchy now. Definitely working on it, too.
“You can call him Rafey,” Molly piped right up. “Aunt Grace did.”
“Molly can call me Rafey,” Rafe interjected. “Only Molly.”
He said it with a little twinkle in his eyes. Or was that a challenge? Either way, it melted Edie’s heart just a little bit, as Rafe clearly wasn’t comfortable with the name, yet he was going to put up with it from Molly. That was just plain sweet of him. So, maybe, just maybe, her job to help him realize that he did have all kinds of father potential wouldn’t be so difficult after all. She hoped so, because Rafe was a little awkward about it right now. Yet given some time, along with some good coaching…who knew? And in the future, well, who knew about that one either? Possibly, with some luck, Molly would be able to call him Daddy sooner than Edie had hoped for. That would be nice, Edie decided. What Grace would have wanted. But for a moment her heart clenched when she thought about Rafe and Molly together, just the two of them. No one else in that picture. It’s what she had to do, and that was what she’d have to keep telling herself. Getting the two of them together was what she had to do. What she’d promised to do.
CHAPTER THREE
“COULD you two slow up a little?” Edie called from behind them. She was lagging back quite a way, not because she wanted to but because it was the best she could do. Rafe and Molly were doubling up on the lead horse, with Molly riding in a pink tandem saddle right behind Rafe, hanging on to him with her face pressed to his back. From Edie’s position, it was cute. But she wondered if Rafe was bothered by it, because he looked…uncomfortable. He seemed too rigid in the saddle, even to an untrained observer such as herself. Yet Molly looked happier than Edie had seen her looking in days. Possibly because Rafe had made her happy. Or it could have been about her honest need to hold on to someone strong for a while…something Edie understood better than she cared to, given the way the first time she’d really held on to someone had turned out. Of course, everybody needed that extra jolt in their lives at some time, didn’t they? Strength from someone else. Someone to support them on the journey, to guide them when they were lost.
She’d certainly had those moments in her own life…moments with her mother, moments with Alex. Good and bad. Going down the right path, going down the wrong one. Rafe wasn’t the wrong path for Molly, though. He didn’t know that, of course, even though Molly obviously did. Most likely, he’d never thought of himself in terms of any kind of course for Molly, which was something Edie certainly intended to change.
But the path Edie was on today had nothing to do with any of that. It was all about the path she was taking on the back of a very gentle horse named Ice Cream—a horse, as it turned out, who was absolutely perfect for a beginner to ride. Vanilla in color, she was mellow, plodding along in no hurry to get anywhere, and if it could be said that a horse was stopping along the way to smell the roses, that was what it seemed like Ice Cream was doing. Smart horse, taking in her surroundings—the path, the sky, the flowers. It wasn’t a bad way to go through life, Edie supposed. Too bad more people couldn’t take a lesson from Ice Cream. “So, when do we get to stop?” she called out, when they rounded the bend and she saw the lake ahead. “Right now, I hope, because this is a perfect place.” At least, that was what her aching backside was telling her.
Like he’d been reading her mind about stopping, Rafe brought Donder, a well-muscled, brown and white Appaloosa, to a halt, then turned in his saddle to face her. “It’s only another five miles,” he said, without cracking a smile.
“Five?” Pulling Ice Cream up alongside him, she looked square at him and saw, up close, his very stern expression, but also saw the corner of his mouth twitch up imperceptibly in a fight to keep from smiling. “Then why don’t you go on ahead, take part of the picnic food with you, while Molly and I stay here and have our picnic at the lake. Is that OK with you, Molly?” His eyes were dancing now. Beautiful. Mischievous. Unnerving. But she didn’t look away. It took everything she had in her to stay eye to eye with him, and keep a straight face at that. She managed it, though, with some struggle. “We’ll have our picnic right here, just the two of us, while Rafe goes on ahead and finds his own place to picnic.”
Very straight-faced, Molly said, “You can’t take the lemonade with you, Rafey. It’s two against one. We get to keep it here. But you can come back and have some when you want it.”
“I think you’ve been thoroughly told,” Edie remarked.
“I think I’ve been charmed by the two most beautiful women in Lilly Lake,” he replied, slipping down out of his saddle then lifting Molly to the ground. Heading straight to Ice Cream, he steadied the horse and held up his hand to help Edie. And in that instant, when the silky skin of her palm slid across his, if there wasn’t a visible spark, there sure was an unseeable one, felt by both of them, because Edie and Rafe both pulled back in that moment of extraordinary awareness, and simply stared at each other. Speechless, almost to the point of dumbfounded. Edie wasn’t sure how long it was, but the intensity couldn’t be questioned. At least for her. As for Rafe…he was still holding tight to her gaze when she finally had to break it or become completely lost in it. “I, um…thanks,” she finally said, letting go of his hand. “For the compliment, and the help.”
His answer was to arch his eyebrows. Then he turned away. Unaffected? Edie didn’t know about Rafe, but she surely knew about herself, and at that moment there was nothing in her, from her head to her toes, that wasn’t affected. Not one little bit of her anywhere. And try as she may, she couldn’t shrug out of the mood, or even shake herself hard out of it. Not after a minute, not after five minutes. Which meant she might be in deep trouble.
* * *
“So tell me about yourself,” Rafe said, as he spread the blanket on the ground. Molly was a hundred yards away, wading in water up to her ankles, looking for goldfish and bullfrogs, expressing a wish to find a whale and an octopus, too, while Edie and Rafe were laying out the picnic food. “Other than the fact that you’re a child life specialist and that my aunt thought highly of you…so does Molly, by the way, that’s about all I know.”
“There’s not much to tell. I’ve been in Lilly Lake for a few months now. I work, I like to read, I have a cat…” She shrugged. Getting personal wasn’t easy for her because she’d spent most of her life trying to stay guarded. On purpose. One little slip of the tongue and the social workers had been on the doorstep, one misspoken word to her teacher that could be perceived as something wrong in her life and everything had gone crazy. The possibility had always been there that she could be snatched away from her mother, thrown into a foster-home where nobody loved her, and her mother forced into a nursing home until some kindly lawyer made it all better, or her mother died. Grim reality then, bad memories of it even now. “I’m from New York City originally. Born and raised there. Went to school there, didn’t ever have any call to wander very far away until I took this job in Lilly Lake. And I’m not married now, but you already know that.”
“Not married now?”
“Well, there were a couple of years in my life when I was. You know, naive schoolgirl meets big charmer. He wasn’t what I needed, I wasn’t what he wanted and in the end we didn’t even make any memories, good, bad or otherwise. So, you’ve never been married, have you? Your aunt told me you…”
“She told you I avoid it like the plague. Right?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, she was right about that. I do avoid it, maybe not so much like the plague as I do like an entanglement I just don’t want to deal with. The thing is, Aunt Grace harped at me for my lifestyle, for being single. Yet she never married, and she never considered that a lack in herself.”
“But she considered it a lack in you?” Edie asked.
“I don’t honestly know.”
“Maybe she just wanted to see you have a shot at something she missed.”
He thought about that for a moment. Frowned. “She never seemed lonely, never really struck me as someone who wanted a permanent relationship in her life.”
“Yet she was surrounded by so many friends, and she took in children all the time. She kept herself busy, Rafe, and she was devoted to the people in her life, but maybe, at night, when she went to bed, there were times when she would have preferred not going alone. It could be she didn’t consider your lifestyle a lack so much as she didn’t want you to go to bed alone every night either. I’d say that’s someone who truly loved you.”
“I was lucky,” he said.
“More than lucky. Blessed.”
Rafe was quiet for a moment, his eyes fixed on something far off that wasn’t really there. Then he cleared his throat and drew in a deep breath. “So, what else is there to know about you?”
“Not much, really. I’m taking some online classes in preparation for getting my master’s degree. I like gardening. Oh, and I’m thinking about getting a kitten to keep my other cat, Lucy, company, when I’m away.”
Even to Edie, all the explanations sounded like uptight chatter. Nothing too significant, nothing too revealing…pretty much the way she’d trained herself to chat when people had insisted on it. It was all laid out, evenly rehearsed, rarely off the script. Reverting back to old habits was what she did when she was nervous. Rafe made her nervous.
“No family?” he asked. “Parents? Brothers or sisters?”
She shook her head. “Not any more. Maybe some distant relatives I’ve never met but, basically, it’s just me now. And you?”
“Just Jess. And we’re not really too close. We talk occasionally, see each other whenever I get to New York City…he’s a firefighter there.”
“I thought Grace said he was a doctor.”
“He is…was. Trauma surgeon. But he experienced a loss in Afghanistan…his fiancée died in his arms, and he left medicine. Took up a more risky life. Don’t know why, and I’m not going to argue with him about it.”
“Even though you think he should go back to medicine?”
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