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Then there was the fact that Rick might not have wanted to be found. And even if he had, what if he hadn’t been able to hold a candle to Gary’s memory? What if he would have disappointed Lucas when the poor child had been so vulnerable?
There’d been so many what-ifs, all of which would have hurt the grieving child in the long run. So Mallory had made it simple on them all. She’d told Lucas that she and Rick might have been able to keep Lucas and create a family together if Rick hadn’t died. But at her age, raising a child alone wouldn’t have been fair to him.
Telling him the truth now might seem like a simple solution to Rick. But it wasn’t. Not when Lucas was still learning to put his faith in Mallory as his mother. Besides, how did she explain her reason for lying to him when Rick hadn’t grown up to be the loser everyone in town had expected him to become?
“Thanks,” Rick said, “but I’ll have to pass on dinner tomorrow night. I have to attend a meeting at the chamber of commerce. Maybe another time.”
Thank goodness that seemed to appease the boy. All Mallory needed was to give Rick a standing invitation to dinner each night. This evening was going to be tough enough.
Fortunately, Lucas kept the conversation going, which was a relief. Mallory had no idea what to say to the man, especially when the only thing she could think about was how darn good the years had been to him, how he’d filled out so nicely.
He might have grown up and shed his bad-boy reputation, but he still had those amazing blue eyes, that crooked grin and that sexy James Dean swagger that spiked her heart rate and sent her hormones racing.
After they’d eaten, Mallory served chocolate ice cream for dessert. If Rick thought she’d chosen the flavor because she’d remembered it was his favorite, he was wrong. It just so happened to be Lucas’s dessert of choice, too—another of the many things the two had in common.
“Hey, Mom,” Lucas said. “Did you find my PlayStation yet?”
She couldn’t believe she’d packed something as important as that without noting which box it was in. Something told her Sue would have known to label it as a high priority, rather than antique vases, crystal and other breakables. But she wouldn’t beat herself up for the mistake. She still had a lot to learn about maternal priorities.
“I’m sure I’ll find the box soon,” she said. “I know we brought it with us.”
“You don’t think the movers stole it, do you?”
“Of course not,” she said. “I’m sure it’ll turn up. I’ll make a point of finding it first thing in the morning.”
Lucas turned to Rick. “Do you like to play video games?”
“When I was your age I used to, but I don’t have much time for it anymore.”
“I guess that’s because, when people grow up, they don’t like to play fun things anymore.”
“That’s not always true,” Rick said. “I have a friend who’s a computer whiz and a part-time gamer. He’s into all that stuff.”
“No kidding?” the boy asked, his eyes wide.
Rick looked at Mallory. “Do you remember Clay Jenkins?”
“That nerdy guy with shaggy hair and glasses?”
Rick nodded. “He might have looked like a wimp, but he had a mean left hook, which came in handy whenever he couldn’t outthink a bigger guy who wanted to mess with him.”
“Clay was that smart?”
“He was a genius.”
“Whatever happened to him?” she asked.
“He turned a little computer repair shop into a computer franchise called Zorba the Geek.”
“I’ve heard of it. We had one in Boston, not far from where I lived.”
“Yeah, well he’s worth a fortune now.”
Amazing. Clay used to hang out in Wexler Park with that crowd Mallory had asked Rick to stay away from.
“I guess a lot can change in ten years,” she said.
Rick merely looked at her with that same simple gaze that set her heart thumping and her pulse dancing, just as it always used to do.
Apparently, some things might change, while others never did.
“Maybe I could meet your friend someday,” Lucas said.
“You never know. Clay moved out of state, but he travels a lot. Maybe he’ll pass through this way someday. I’ll have to give him a call. It’s been a while since we talked, and it’s time we touched base.”
They continued to eat their ice cream. When they finished, Rick offered to help with the dishes.
The last thing Mallory needed was to have him stick around any longer than he already had. With the past hurt and disappointment they both harbored, it was awkward enough. And somehow, she doubted they’d ever be able to put that completely behind them. But what made things worse was that she still found him attractive, and that was a complication she didn’t need.
With the job search, concern over her grandfather’s slow recovery and trying her best to fill Sue Dunlop’s shoes and be the best mother she could be, Mallory didn’t have time to deal with rebellious hormones.
“Thanks, Rick. But I don’t need any help. I always clean the kitchen as I go, so doing the dishes is a snap.”
“Okay, then. If you’re sure...”
When he pushed back his chair and stood, she followed him to the door.
“Thanks for dinner,” he said. “You’re a good cook, Mallory. You’re also a good mom.”
She’d expected the compliment about the meal. After all, it was the kind of thing dinner guests usually offered their hosts upon leaving. But the other one took her aback, especially since she’d been trying so hard to be a good mother and she wasn’t always sure if she was succeeding.
“Thank you,” she said. “I’m trying.”
They stood on the stoop for a moment, under the amber glow of the porch light. Yet for some reason, she wasn’t nearly as eager to see him leave as she’d been earlier.
Why was that?
For the past ten years—at least, for the bulk of them—she’d tried so hard to forget all about him, to pretend he no longer meant the world to her. She’d even gone so far as to tell Lucas that he’d died.
It had helped, she supposed, to pretend that he had. She’d healed from the heartbreak and had gone on with her life, becoming successful and making her family proud once again.
And then, here he was—alive and well, successful in his own right and threatening to stir up all the old memories, all the things she’d tried so hard to forget.
“You mentioned your grandfather was in the hospital,” he said. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s doing better now. He had quadruple bypass surgery a couple weeks ago, but he has some other health issues, including diabetes, that have complicated things and slowed his recovery process.”
“I take it he knows about the adoption.”
“Yes, he does.” Like Rick, her grandfather hadn’t been in favor of an open adoption. So, for that reason, he and Lucas hadn’t met before.
He understood why she was adopting Lucas now and approved of the decision. But she hadn’t had time to set up an official meeting. She planned to do that soon, though.
That, too, was going to be a little awkward. She wasn’t sure how many of his friends knew that she’d had a child out of wedlock and had given it up for adoption, so she and her grandfather would have some explaining to do. She couldn’t foresee any problems, though. People in the church were understanding and forgiving. At least, they were supposed to be.
She thought it would help if she could tell her grandfather that Rick had turned his life around, that he’d become a respected member of the community—that is, if Grandpa didn’t already know that.
Being able to share that information would certainly help her by lessening some of the tension that was sure to crop up when she had to bring up the topic of her past mistake and her grandfather’s subsequent embarrassment. After all, he’d been a minister, and he’d expected her to set an example with the other teenagers in the congregation.
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