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‘So … you’re settling in okay?’
‘Yes, of course.’ She glanced at Ella and Holly and a smile built inside her. The three of them had enjoyed a fabulous day. ‘Your daughters are delightful. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy their company.’
One side of his mouth hooked up. ‘You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face.’
Was it? She sat back. Maybe that was something she should add to her list of personal-attributes-to-work-on-and-improve. She didn’t want to be so easy to read. She didn’t want to wear her heart on her sleeve.
She wanted to be coolly poised and self-possessed.
‘It wasn’t a criticism,’ he said quietly.
Definitely something she needed to work on!
She tried to smooth her face out into a polite smile. ‘I wanted to thank you for letting me use the home gym.’
He shrugged her gratitude aside, but his eyes started to dance. ‘How’s the treadmill turning out? Managing to stay on your feet?’
She nearly spluttered her mouthful of iced water across the table, but the grin he sent her made her laugh. ‘That was below the belt!’
‘I couldn’t resist.’ He took a long pull on his beer. ‘Have you been having any problems with any of the equipment? There must be instruction manuals somewhere around the place.’
‘It all seems to be in perfect working order. I might loathe it, but the treadmill is a cinch to operate and I don’t hate it as much as that darn rowing machine.’
He stared and then he threw his head back and laughed. Harry chuckled. Ella laughed too, although Nicola suspected she had no idea what she was laughing at. She just wanted to join in. Not to be outdone, Holly let forth with a squeal
Nicola Ann, must you sound so gauche?
Inside, she cringed. She was supposed to be developing polish and self-possession, not blurting out the first thing that came into her head and sounding like an idiot, becoming the butt of the joke.
Frustration built inside her. She clenched her hands so tight her fingernails bit into her palms. Why couldn’t she manage one simple thing—to think before she spoke? Was it really that hard?
Failure. Loser. Doormat.
The insults flew at her, thick and fast. Not just in her mother’s voice either. Her own was the loudest.
She closed her eyes and drew in a breath. ‘I’m sorry, that came out all wrong. I just meant …’
He raised an eyebrow. He’d stopped laughing but he was still grinning. That grin made her heart beat a little harder. It made it difficult for her not to grin back. She swallowed and lectured herself for the umpteenth time about dignity. ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of the equipment. It’s just that exercise and I have an ambivalent relationship.’
‘Love, you ain’t the only one,’ Harry said with a consoling pat to Nicola’s arm. ‘Now, how about I bathe the littlies while you stack the dishwasher?’
It was obvious Harry adored Ella and Holly and, if the expression on her face was anything to go by, she enjoyed bath time too. Nicola was happy to divide the chores. ‘Deal.’ She rose and started to clear the table.
‘You promised to read me a bedtime story, Nic!’ Ella reminded her. ‘Don’t forget.’
She planted her hands on her hips and gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. ‘How could I forget something as important as that?’
With a giggle, Ella allowed Harry to lead her away.
A glance back at the table confirmed that Cade watched her. She couldn’t decipher the expression in his eyes, but it made her break out in gooseflesh and turned all her fingers to thumbs. She opened her mouth to fill the quiet, but shut it again. That kind of rattling on was neither dignified nor self-possessed. She stacked the dishwasher, and suffered his examination in silence.
‘Nicola,’ he said, finally breaking the silence, ‘you don’t strike me as the gym-junkie type.’
No, she was more a curl-up-on-the-sofa-with-a-good-book-and-a-block-of-chocolate type. Admitting that certainly wouldn’t be dignified, though. ‘I think we’ve definitely established I’m not the jogging-outside-in-the-fresh-country-air type either,’ she managed with a wry, hopefully dignified smile. ‘Despite what I said, I do understand the benefits of regular exercise and I am grateful for the use of your home gym.’
She poured detergent into the dishwasher and then switched it on. ‘I have every intention of continuing.’
He stood. ‘Come with me. There’s something I want to show you.’
Last time he’d said that he’d showed her a home gym.
He grinned at her hesitation. ‘You’ll love it, I promise.’
Nicola smelled like strawberry jam. He’d first noticed it when he’d helped her to her feet yesterday morning. He hadn’t been able to get the smell of it out of his head. He’d been craving another hit ever since. Walking beside her now towards the stables, he could drag that scent into his lungs unimpeded and drink in his fill.
Still … He glanced across at her. There was no denying that she was a hell of a puzzle. When she let her guard down her blunt honesty and self-deprecation made him laugh. She was completely unguarded around the children. She was much more reserved around him and Harry. Especially him.
And the shadows in her eyes haunted him. They reminded him of last Christmas, with all of its bleak despair and bitterness. He didn’t want reminders of last Christmas. He wanted festivity and merriment and all-out Christmas cheer.
His lips twisted. He had a hunch that plugging away every day on that darn treadmill and rowing machine weren’t going to improve Nicola’s Christmas cheer. It might just cement those shadows in her eyes for good!
Exercise-wise, he had her pegged as a team player—basketball, cricket, softball, it probably wouldn’t matter which. There wasn’t a chance he’d be able to organise that out here, though. At least, not until the rest of the family arrived in a week and a half’s time.
Which left him with one other option to win her over, and help dispel those shadows.
He ushered her through the door of the barn. She glanced up, spearing him with those amazing eyes. She opened her mouth, and then shut it again. He sensed the effort it took her and wondered why she didn’t just ask what she so obviously wanted to.
He took her arm to guide her through the early evening dimness of the barn and through a connecting door to the stables. Her eyes widened as they walked along the line of horse stalls. Her breath quickened and beneath his fingers her skin suddenly seemed to come alive.
He dropped his hand, shook it out, and told himself to stop being stupid. Halting at a stall halfway down the row, he gestured to the horse inside. The mare whickered softly and nuzzled his hand for a treat. He fed her the lump of sugar he’d stolen from the kitchen.
‘This here is Scarlett O’Hara.’ He glanced down at Nicola, who was staring at the horse as if she’d never seen one before. ‘She’s yours to ride for the duration of your stay at Waminda Downs.’
She stared at him as if she hadn’t understood. The hair at his nape started to prickle. He shoved his hands into his pockets. Did he have her pegged all wrong? It was just …
She liked kids. She liked dogs. It made sense that she’d like horses too.
He hunched his shoulders. ‘I mean, if you don’t want to ride that’s fine. But if you do, I’m happy to teach you.’
Her eyes filled and he backed up a step. Darn it all! She wasn’t going to cry, was she? He was trying to instil Christmas spirit, not histrionics.
She clasped her hands beneath her chin. ‘Do you really mean that?’
Just for a moment, she reminded him of Ella. He rolled his shoulders and eyed her warily. ‘Sure I do.’
She swallowed. Her eyes went back to normal. If amazing could be called normal. ‘All my life,’ she whispered, reaching out to rest a hand against Scarlett’s neck, ‘I’ve wanted to learn to ride.’
Her eyes suddenly shone. Her whole face came alive. She smiled. The same way she smiled at Ella and Holly. A full and open smile. A wholehearted smile. At him.
The impact hit him square in the middle of his chest. The ground beneath his feet tilted. Fire licked along his veins to pool and burn in his groin. Desire stirred inside him for the first time in sixteen months.
He took a step away from her. ‘First lesson at six-fifteen sharp in the morning,’ he rapped out. Then he turned on his heel and fled. He couldn’t even respond to the thank you she called after him.
CHAPTER THREE
CADE had Jack, his head stockman, give Nicola her first riding lesson. He stayed away.
Curiosity, though, defeated him by mid-morning. When he saw Ella and Holly with Nicola on the lawn in the shade of one of the date palms, their tartan blanket a flash of blue and red in the sun, he took a breather from breaking in a promising young colt to make his way over to them.
As he drew nearer he could hear them singing Waltzing Matilda, their heads bent over … something. At least, Nicola and Ella were singing, Holly mostly la-laahed. He glanced around the garden at all the Christmas decorations and wondered why they weren’t singing Christmas carols.
His gaze returned to Nicola and he chewed the inside of his lip. Without warning, Holly crawled into Nicola’s lap. One of Nicola’s arms went about her, cradling her easily. With her other hand she pushed the hair back from the child’s forehead and dropped an easy kiss there before picking up her … crayon again. She and Ella were colouring in a gigantic picture of a billabong—complete with kangaroos, koalas, wombats, a spindly emu and … a bunyip that Ella was colouring purple and orange.
He surveyed the tableau and something warm and sweet pooled low in his belly. He’d have loved it if they sang Jingle Bells and coloured in a festive Santa-themed picture, but it was obvious Nicola had developed an easy relationship with his children in a very short space of time, and for that he was grateful.
‘Ella,’ Nicola said, halting mid-verse.
It was only when she stopped that he realised what a lovely singing voice she had.
‘I have eyes in the back of my head and I do believe your daddy is standing right behind us.’
Ella spun around and with a squeal launched herself at him. He swung her up into his arms. ‘Nic’s magic,’ she told him.
‘She must be,’ he agreed, wondering what had given him away.
Nicola turned then too and smiled. ‘I’m a primary school teacher. Eyes in the back of one’s head is a necessary prerequisite.’
Her smile didn’t knock his world off its axis, didn’t create a fireball of desire. He let out a long, slow breath. Last night’s reaction had been nothing more than an overload of hormones—a temporary aberration. Understandable given he’d been celibate for the last eighteen months.
He did notice that her hair looked shiny in the dappled light, though, and that her skin had a healthy glow. ‘How did the riding lesson go this morning?’
Her face lit up. ‘Oh! It was the best fun!’
Something inside him thumped in response. He planted his legs and tried to quash it. ‘I hope you didn’t mind that Jack gave the lesson?’
‘Not at all. He’s a great teacher.’
Something in her voice, if not her face, told him she was glad he’d sent Jack in his stead. It made him want to thrust his jaw out and—
He shook himself.
‘He says I’m a natural.’
It was what he’d told Cade too. When Cade had finally shown his face. It was obvious the older man liked her.
‘Sore?’ It was a malicious question and he didn’t know where it came from.
‘Not yet.’
He was going to tell her she would be in the morning, but Ella chose that moment to wriggle out of his grasp. ‘Come and see our picture, Daddy. Nic brought a whole book of pictures and said we could colour in one a day if we want.’
‘Any Christmas pictures?’ he couldn’t help asking.
The colour heightened in her cheeks, but she merely tossed her head. ‘They’re all native Australian bush scenes.’
‘They’re beautiful,’ Ella announced.
He stared at Nicola and pursed his lips. ‘How about a Christmas carol before I get back to work?’
‘Yay!’ Ella clapped her hands.
He could’ve sworn Nicola rolled her eyes.
Ella launched into “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. To her credit, Nicola started on the song only a beat later. The sweetness of her voice held him spellbound.
She tossed him a crayon and broke off singing to say, ‘Join in or get back to work, those are your options.’
He grinned at the school teacher bossiness of it. He started singing too and coloured a koala blue.
When they finished Ella squirmed in excitement. ‘It’s only twenty more sleeps till Christmas!’
Nicola didn’t say anything.
Cade ruffled Ella’s hair. ‘That’s right, pumpkin.’
‘I want lots and lots of presents,’ the child announced. ‘I want the Rapunzel movie and a Barbie camper.’
Cade stifled a grin. He’d ordered the DVD and a whole load of Barbie accessories over six weeks ago. He hadn’t wanted to risk the stores running out. They were stowed in the top of his wardrobe at this very moment.
‘Nic!’ Ella bounced some more. ‘What do you want Santa to bring you?’
‘I don’t expect Santa to bring me anything because I’m a grown-up.’
Cade cleared his throat. ‘At Waminda Downs, Santa brings everyone a present.’
Comprehension dawned in those amazing eyes.
‘Every year,’ Ella confided, ‘he brings Harry the biggest box of chocolates and … and … something in a bottle.’
Nicola shot him a quick glance. ‘Perfume?’
‘Baileys Irish Cream.’
Her lips twitched. ‘You know, that sounds exactly what I’d wish for too.’
‘Not a Barbie camper van?’ Ella said, her mouth turning down.
‘I already have one. Santa brought me one when I was six.’
‘Oh, okay.’ Ella went back to colouring in.
Cade frowned. A box of chocolate-coated ginger and a bottle of Baileys suddenly seemed all wrong for Nicola. He shifted. ‘If you could have anything, what would you ask for?’
She shook her head and shrugged. The question obviously didn’t interest her and that disturbed him.
‘Other than a horse,’ he persisted, ‘what was the one thing you asked for when you were growing up, but never got?’
She stared up at the sky, lips pursed. ‘Romance novels.’
He blinked.
‘I loved them when I was a teenager and when I was fourteen I asked for a collection of romance novels. What I received was a leather-bound set of the complete works of Jane Austen. Which, technically, are romances, and don’t get me wrong, I love Jane Austen, but …’
But they hadn’t been what she’d asked for.
She frowned. ‘I haven’t read a romance novel in ages.’ She glanced at him and then gave a defiant toss of her head, though he couldn’t help noticing how she was careful not to jerk Holly awake. ‘And no doubt my life is the poorer for it.’
Romance novels, huh?
He stared at her and his youngest daughter. ‘You look like the Madonna and child.’
She snorted. ‘There’s nothing immaculate about me, take my word for it.’
He choked back a laugh. She stiffened and then did that stupid pulling back thing, as if she wished she hadn’t said what she had, even though it was funny and had made him laugh. It ruined his mood completely.
‘Time I got back to work,’ he said abruptly, climbing to his feet.
‘Bye, Daddy.’
He turned away, only to swing back half a second later. ‘A soak in a hot bath this evening will help with the sore muscles.’ And then he turned on his heel and strode off with long strides because the image that flooded his mind of Nicola stretched out in a steamy bath, her eyes heavy-lidded with pleasure, needed to be booted out again asap before the ground beneath his feet started shifting again.
He bit back a curse. Hormones might be a fact of life, but they could be darn inconvenient.
Ten days later Cade’s family arrived—his mother and all her luggage on one plane, his sister and his five-year-old twin nephews on another. His brother-in-law would fly in on Christmas Eve.
This was what Cade had been dreaming of and planning for—a rowdy family Christmas full of fun and laughter and festivity.
He couldn’t help noticing the way Nicola kept herself in the background, though. He’d done his best not to notice her this past week. Not that he’d been particularly successful.
He couldn’t help noticing the way her gaze kept returning to the bowl of chocolate sultanas that Harry had put out as a treat, along with fruitcake and shortbread, either. She ignored the fruitcake and the shortbread, but she eyed those sultanas as if they held the answer to the universe. It made him smile. He held his breath and waited for her to seize a handful and enter into the Christmas spirit.
She didn’t, even though she couldn’t seem to stop her gaze from darting back to them again and again. Something in his chest started to burn.
When a bout of family Christmas carols started up, he couldn’t help but notice the way her eyes dimmed, even though she kept a smile on her face. Or the way she slipped out of the French windows and onto the veranda.
Ella and Holly didn’t notice. They were too entranced with their grandmother, their aunt and their cousins. Nobody else noticed either.
Cade pursed his lips and counted to ten—that was the number of days left till Christmas—and then he pushed out of his chair, had a quick word with Harry and followed Nicola into the night.
Nicola stared out at the darkness and couldn’t believe how many stars this Outback night sky held. She had never seen so many stars. Around on this side of the veranda, away from the light spilling from doors and windows and where she could barely hear the Christmas carols, the stars gleamed bigger and brighter.
Away from all that Christmas merriment, the burn surrounding her heart started to ease too.
And then her sixth sense kicked in—Cade—and a different kind of burning started up in her veins. A heat she didn’t want. A heat she certainly didn’t trust.
She didn’t turn from the railing. ‘You should be in there with your family and enjoying this time with them.’
‘So should you.’
She turned at that. ‘They’re not my family, Cade. Besides, I think it’s nice for Ella and Holly to have a chance to focus on their grandmother, aunt and cousins without me getting in the way. And don’t worry, I’m wearing my watch. I’ll put them to bed in another half an hour.’
‘Three things.’ His voice cut the air. ‘One, you’re not in the way. Two, for as long as you’re at Waminda you’re part of the family. Three, I asked Harry to put the girls to bed. I saw how much you helped her with dinner.’
His high-handedness irked her. She didn’t like his tone much either. Last month the old Nicola would’ve shrugged it off and tried to ignore it, but not the new improved version of Nicola McGillroy. No, sirree.
‘One—’ she held up a finger ‘—I’m here to do a job and I don’t need anyone else to do it for me. I can carry my own weight.’ She just wasn’t prepared to carry anyone else’s any more. ‘And two, I should be allowed a few moments’ quiet time every now and again without you jumping on me with that you’re-ruining-Christmas tone in your voice.’
She had no intention of ruining Christmas for Cade and his family. It was why she’d stolen from the living room earlier. All that Christmas gaiety had filled her with such unexpected longing it had stolen her breath and knocked her sideways … For a moment she’d thought she might burst into tears.
She shuddered. How would she have explained that?
‘I didn’t mean to jump on you.’
The shock in his voice shamed her. All he was trying to do was give his kids and family a nice Christmas. Her hang-ups weren’t his fault. She gripped her hands together. She only had to put up with all this Christmas cheer for another week and a half.
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