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“Are you going to eat that here?” Jasmine asked.
“Can you have them deliver it?” Jake asked.
Her smiled dissolved. “Sure. Where to?”
“Northlake Inn. Room 312,” Jake said. He pulled out his wallet and handed her enough for the bill and a nice tip, then took Caley’s hand and headed back toward the door. Jake could feel Jasmine’s eyes on him as they left, but he didn’t care. He was with Caley now and, as far as he was concerned, he was off the market.
“So, obviously you two dated.”
“We did. Last summer. And into the fall for a while. But she lives here and I was in Chicago, so we didn’t see much of each other.”
“She seems nice,” Caley said.
Jake smiled. “I don’t want to see her. I like seeing you.”
“But I don’t live here.”
“Maybe we’ll have to find a way to work around that,” Jake suggested. He knew he was taking a risk, but it was time for her to know where he stood. He’d grown too attached to Caley to not wonder if she felt the same way.
When they reached the street, Caley turned to him. “Jake, we both know how this is supposed to end. I have a job in New York. I have people who depend on me. I can’t move back here. If I did, I’d lose everything I worked so hard to build.”
“I know,” Jake said, nodding. He glanced down at her hands, her fingers so small and delicate in his. So now he knew. He’d suspected when it came down to choices, she’d choose her life on the East Coast. But the last few days, he’d felt they’d come close to considering a future together. And it was silly to think that she was the one who would have to relocate. He could work out of New York just as easily as Chicago.
But Jake wouldn’t make that offer until he knew for sure what the future held. “Why don’t you head back to the inn,” he said. “I’m going to pick up some beer and a bottle of wine. I’ll meet you there.”
As he watched her leave, he felt the distance between them growing—not just physically but emotionally. She’d begun to pull away now, as if she were preparing herself to leave. He’d seen her do it time and time again in the past, when she’d been hurt or afraid of her feelings for him. Her offense had always been a stubborn defense, choosing to stand back and shut him out rather than admit she might feel something deeper.
But this time, Jake saw her retreat as a good sign. She was fighting her feelings for him and that must mean that she felt something. It wasn’t much to go on, but Jake was satisfied that it was enough.
CALEY MUNCHED ON A PIECE of pizza as she flipped through the channels. She stopped at a Star Trek rerun and frowned. She didn’t watch much television and she couldn’t believe that they were still showing Star Trek. The program had to be fifteen years old. “This is still on? Remember how you used to make me watch this? I hated this show.”
“You loved this show,” Jake said, popping open a can of beer and pointing to the screen.
She shook her head. “No, I didn’t. It was too confusing. And that Captain Picard was so … bald.”
“Then why did you come over and watch it with me every day?”
Caley picked a mushroom off her pizza, then threw it at him. “Duh. Why do you think? Because I was hoping that one day you might be overcome with desire for me and throw me down on the sofa and kiss me.” She took another bite of her pizza. “I had a very active fantasy life.”
“Did you ever see us together?” Jake asked.
“All the time,” she replied.
“No, I mean together. For good. Forever.”
Caley had felt his unease all evening. She sensed he had questions to ask but she’d tried to keep the conversation from getting too serious. In truth, she was as confused today as she had been on the day she arrived back in North Lake. Only, she was confused about different things.
Over the past few days, she’d realized that Jeff Winslow had been right. There was a certain charm to living a small-town life. And she hadn’t missed the stress of work at all. The panic attacks that had been plaguing her had disappeared and she was finally sleeping through the night without waking up in a cold sweat, wondering what she might have forgotten to do at work. The only time she felt them return was when her cell phone rang. Like Pavlov’s dog, she responded to the sound of the Mozart ditty. She even reprogrammed the ring to see if a new tune might be easier to take. But it didn’t matter. The moment she saw a work number come up on the caller ID, she started to get queasy and fluttery and a little woozy.
She’d been happy here with Jake and though she didn’t want it to end, Caley knew that, for all practical purposes, a future with him would be difficult. They had both built careers in big cities. Those cities just happened to be seven hundred miles apart. It seemed like a long way. But then, it was only a few hours by plane. She flew back and forth to L.A. at least once a month to see a client there and thought nothing of it.
Conceivably, if she wanted to see him, she could call Jake at lunchtime and be in Chicago by supper. It was possible and with every minute that passed, Caley was thinking more and more about what could be instead of what might have been.
“I should probably go check on Sam and Emma,” Jake said. “Do you want to stay here or come with me?”
“I can come with you. I do want to see how Emma is doing. I feel a little guilty leaving her out there all alone. I mean, she’s with Sam, but I think she might be pretty angry that we just left them there.”
She picked up the pizza box and set it on the table near the window, then turned to Jake. He was stretched out on the bed, wearing just his jeans and boxers. His feet were bare, as was his chest, and he looked so completely at home, as if they’d been together for years and this was just an ordinary night.
“What?” he said, glancing over at her.
“Nothing,” Caley said. She grabbed her sweater and tugged it on over her head. Then she looked at him again. Slowly, she crossed the room and ran her hand through his messy hair. “I like this. It doesn’t have to be all passion and excitement,” she said. “Although I do enjoy that.”
“You want passion and excitement?” Jake asked. “I can do that. I just thought you were hungry.”
“No,” Caley said. “I mean, I love it when we … you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“But this is nice, too. It’s comfortable. I’ve never really had this with a man. It feels real. We can be together and there’s no pressure.”
“Now you’re starting to make me feel bad,” Jake teased. “I don’t want to be boring.”
“You’re not.”
Jake got to his feet and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on. “You’re right. I’m not. Come on, I’ll show you some excitement.”
“We’re not having sex in a public place,” Caley warned.
“No. We’ll save that for later. I’m going to show you some real small-town fun.”
Five minutes later, they pulled on their jackets and were headed back to Jake’s car. It had grown colder, the temperature dipping toward the teens, and Caley pulled her hood up around her face. When she got inside the truck, Jake flipped on the heater full blast and then headed down Lake Street to the boat landing.
“Are we going to watch the submarine races?” she asked.
“Nope,” he said. “We’re going out on the lake.”
Caley felt a rush of panic. “In this truck? Oh, no we’re not.”
“Don’t worry. It’s safe. The ice is really thick this year. We just have to watch out for ice-fishing holes.”
Caley screamed as they drove from the landing onto the ice, expecting the truck to fall through the moment it got over the water. When it didn’t, she glanced over at Jake. “Are you sure we’re safe?”
Jake turned to her. “I would never do anything to hurt you.” He’d expressed the sentiment before but Caley hadn’t realized until now how strongly he felt it.
“All right. I taught you how to drive, now I’m going to teach you how to spin doughnuts. In the time-honored tradition of high school drivers, these are things you’ll need to know. Number one, turn off the four-wheel drive. Number two, make sure your seat belt is buckled. Number three, don’t steer into the skid. Got it?”
“I don’t really want to do this,” she said.
“It’ll be fun,” Jake assured her. With that, he hit the accelerator and the truck took off. A moment later, he made a sharp turn and they began to spin on the ice. Caley screamed, clutching at the door handle. At first, she was terrified that they were going to break through at any minute. But as the fear wore off, Caley found that the danger was exhilarating.
When Jake finally pulled the truck to a stop in the middle of the lake, she was breathless, her pulse racing. “That was amazing. Almost better than sex,” she said with a giggle.
Jake pulled the truck out of gear and then crawled over the console, pressing Caley up against the door. “I think we ought to make a comparison right here and now. A little experiment.”
“You want to have sex in the middle of a frozen lake?”
Jake nodded. “I intend to seduce you in other memorable spots. That way, when you go back home, you won’t forget me.”
Caley heard the teasing tone in his voice, but the humor didn’t extend to his eyes. She reached out and smoothed her palm over his cheek. “I’ll never forget this,” she murmured. She touched her lips to his and a moment later, they were caught in a passionate kiss.
She felt all the longing and the need between them. But she also felt a bittersweet resignation that from now on, every moment counted. As they slowly began to undress each other, Caley wondered how she’d ever be able to do without this. Passion had never been a big part of her sex life, but now that she’d experienced it with Jake, she couldn’t imagine doing without it—or him. Would it even be possible to go a week without touching him or kissing him or feeling him move inside her?
“Are you sure we should be doing this?” she asked, running her fingers through his hair. “If we fall through, they’re going to find our frozen bodies in a very compromising position.”
Jake worked at the buttons of her blouse. “But at least they’ll know we died happy.”
“And since we’ll be frozen together, they’ll have to bury us together.”
Jake groaned. “Now that’s just morbid.”
A loud pop shattered the silence outside the truck and Caley jumped, startled by the sound. “What was that?”
“The ice,” Jake said. “It creaks and pops. But it won’t break.”
Caley struggled to sit up and then rebuttoned her blouse. “Although this would be a lovely little story to tell friends and neighbors, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to summon up the needed concentration to truly enjoy myself here.”
“You wanna go back?” Jake asked.
“Yes, please,” she replied. “If you get me off this ice, then I promise you can have your way with me.”
“And if I hum, will you do a striptease?” Jake asked.
Caley thought about his request for a few seconds, then realized there were all kinds of fantasies left for them to explore. “Yes. But then I get to hum and you have to strip.”
Jake quickly straightened up and began to put his clothes back in order. Then he got behind the wheel and put the truck back into gear. “Would you like to see how fast we can go on the ice?”
“No,” she said.
Jake hit the accelerator and they took off again. “The only thing you have to remember is that it takes a lot longer to stop.”
He drove the SUV off the ice at the boat landing in town. When he reached the intersection for East Shore Road, he turned. A few minutes later, they were bumping back down the drive at Havenwoods. Jake jumped out of the truck. “I’ll be right back,” he said.
As promised, he returned a few minutes later, a smile on his face.
“How were they?” she asked.
“Good, as far as I could see through the window. I think they might be asleep. I left Sam’s cell phone on the porch. If they need it, they’ll find it.”
Caley nodded, then reached over and furrowed her fingers through the hair at Jake’s nape. “Sometimes it feels like we’ve lived years in these few days. Back when we were kids, everything moved so slowly. And now, I can barely keep up.”
“It’s because we have a clock ticking,” Jake said. He glanced over at her. “You know, we could just shut the clock off. The wedding is scheduled for Thursday night. If it happens, then we’re done with our duties. We could grab a couple plane tickets to some warm spot and spend the weekend together. Or the next week, if you can take off work.”
The idea was intriguing. Caley had plans to fly back to New York early Friday morning, hoping to have the weekend to catch up on the work she’d missed. But she was the boss now. If she couldn’t let a little work slide, then what was the point of being in charge?
“We could do that,” Caley said, surprised at how her attitude had changed.
“Mexico?” Jake suggested.
“Or the Caribbean. Someplace warm with pretty beaches and lots of fruity drinks. And luxurious rooms with big bathtubs. And a soft bed covered by one of those mosquito nets.”
He grabbed her hand and pressed his lips against her wrist. “That sounds nice,” he said. “Hey, if Sam and Emma don’t get married, we could go on their honeymoon.”
Caley gave him a disapproving look. “Don’t even say that. I want to believe that they’ll work things out, don’t you?”
Jake nodded. “I know. Me, too. I’ll make the plans. We can leave right after the reception.”
When they got back to the inn, Jake steered the car into a parking spot behind the building. Then he helped Caley out, grabbing her waist and setting her down in front of him. He kissed her deeply, his hands skimming over her body, searching through the layers of clothes she wore.
“Leave it to fate to put us together in the middle of winter,” he muttered as he pulled up her sweater and rubbed his cold hands on her belly. “Too many clothes.”
Caley giggled, pushing him away. “I’m sure we’ll figure out a way to remedy that.” She reached down and threw a handful of snow at his face. “Maybe we should find a vacation spot where they don’t require clothes at all.”
Jake gasped. “Are you serious?”
She nodded. “Why not? I’d like that, spending my entire day naked instead of bundled up like this.”
Jake shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“What? Are you a prude? You shouldn’t be embarrassed. You’re very well represented down there.”
Jake chuckled. “Am I?”
Caley nodded. “Yes. Though I haven’t a big sample to compare you to, I’d say that most women would find you more than adequate.”
“Oh, lovely,” he murmured. “More than adequate. That makes me feel good.”
“Look at me!” She pointed to her breasts. “I should be the one feeling inferior.”
“You have the most beautiful breasts in the world,” he said. “I can’t imagine how they could be more perfect.”
Caley grinned. “So what’s the problem then?”
“Oh, there are several I can think of. First of all, if you’re running around naked, then I’m going to be running around sporting major wood. That’s just a fact. And I don’t think the public needs to be seeing that. And I also don’t think strange men should be looking at your body the way that I do. I like being the only one to enjoy that pleasure.”
“I like your body,” Caley said. “And I’d like showing it off to other women.”
“How about if I promise to flash an old lady at the airport? Would that satisfy you?”
Caley held out her hand to him. “I suppose it will have to do. And you were the one questioning my daring. You’re all talk and no action, Jake.”
Jake picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. “You want action. I’ll show you action.” He carried her through the lobby, much to the interest of the front-desk clerk. Caley giggled as they stepped onto the elevator and she made Jake turn around so she could push the button for the third floor.
If she wasn’t already in love with Jake, then she was falling awfully fast. And right now, Caley had no intentions of doing anything about it.
7
JAKE SKATED IN A SLOW CIRCLE, moving the hockey puck along the ice with his stick. Then, sprinting across the ice, he took a shot at the plastic crate he was using for a goal. The puck popped up and then disappeared into glittering snow just beyond the rink.
He skated to the edge and searched for the puck. When he finally found it, Jake tossed it back onto the ice and plodded through the snow in his skates. Glancing up, he saw Caley standing on the stairs leading down to the lake’s shore. He stopped and watched her for a long moment, drawing in a deep breath and letting it go.
He’d barely seen Caley all day and when he’d tried to talk to her at the inn early that afternoon, she’d been preoccupied and irritated. They’d made plans for an early dinner and she promised to meet him at the boathouse. But she was three hours late and Jake ended up eating with his parents and siblings.
Everything had been going so well. Maybe this was bound to happen. If it was going to come to an end, then better with a bang than a whimper, he thought. Yet, he wasn’t willing to concede defeat just yet. He still had two more days, the rehearsal tomorrow and the wedding the next day. He turned away from her and returned to skating, moving around the perimeter of the homemade hockey rink.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” Caley shouted.
“No problem.”
She watched him skate for a while. “I’d like to explain.”
“You want to talk, get a pair of skates and a stick,” he said. “I’m playing hockey right now.”
“Come on, Jake. Don’t be mad. I had to work. There was a big crisis and they needed me on a conference call. Then I had to write up a strategy report and send that in. And I haven’t been answering my messages, so my boss had a few choice words to say about the responsibilities of a partner at John Walters.”
“Do you even like your job?” Jake asked. He faced her, skating backward, until he reached the edge of the cleared ice. He skidded to a stop and rested his hands on his hockey stick.
“Of course I do.”
“Do you?”
“It’s a job. I get paid a lot of money. I like the money.”
“So, that’s what it’s all about then?”
“No. I suppose there’s some satisfaction in it. Although I spend most of my time making my clients look good when they do bad things. It’s not the most noble job on the planet. But I’m good at it. It’s what I do.”
“Maybe you should try something new,” he suggested. He skated toward the goal again and took another shot. This time, the puck hit the inside of the crate and knocked it backward. When he turned back around, Caley was trudging back up to the house.
He skated to the other end of the pond, watching her retreat. He felt an empty ache tighten in his gut and Jake cursed softly. Maybe it had been a little too perfect to last. He’d managed to convince himself that he and Caley had something special, that they were meant for each other. But the more he pushed, the more she drew away. He’d begun to think that maybe there were other reasons why she was so anxious to get back to New York.
“At least I didn’t love her,” he murmured to himself. “Not the way I could have.”
But even as he said the words, Jake knew that they weren’t entirely true. What he felt for Caley was more than he’d ever felt for any other woman, more than he could imagine feeling for another. He didn’t want to think of the two of them in finite terms, a relationship with a beginning and an end. Caley was the kind of woman who could keep him fascinated for a lifetime, the kind of woman he wanted to love.
Hell, if she was going back to patch things up with her old boyfriend, then he didn’t stand much of a chance. Jake drew a sharp breath as a sudden realization struck. Was this her way of evening the score? He’d rejected her years ago and now she’d reject him. It certainly would put her back on top, Jake mused. And that was always the game between them, who could best the other.
Jake continued to skate along the edge of the rink, moving fast enough to make his lungs burn and his heart pound. He turned the notion over in his head, but it was hard to reconcile it with the woman he’d come to know over the past week.
Though Caley might want to balance the scales, she’d done that in many other ways. He had fallen hard and hadn’t done much to hide his feelings from her. In truth, he’d done everything in his power to make her see how much he cared.
“Will you talk to me now?”
Jake turned the corner and saw Caley standing at the end of the rink, using a hockey stick to balance herself on her skates.
“Play,” he said.
“I can’t keep up with you.”
“Try,” he muttered.
When he came around the rink again, Caley skated after him, grabbing him around the waist and hanging on until they both fell to the ice. She hit hard, slamming down on her shoulder and crying out in pain. Jake quickly knelt down next to her.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Trying to talk to you. But you don’t want to listen.”
Jake helped her sit up and gently rubbed her shoulder. “All right. Talk. What do you want from me? I’ve pretty much put everything on the line here and for a while, things were good between us. Now it seems that everything is moving backward.”
“I don’t know what you expect,” Caley said. “Until a week ago, I was seeing another man. I’m not sure I’m ready to jump back into a serious relationship, especially with someone who lives halfway across the country.”
“It’s not halfway,” Jake insisted. “It’s about a third.”
“All right, tell me how it would work, Jake,” she said. “How would we do it? Would we spend every weekend together? Or would we see each other once a month? Would we talk on the phone every day? Would you go out with other women? Would I be free to date other men?”
“I don’t know,” Jake said. “We’d have to figure that all out.”
“I had a relationship with a man I never saw,” Caley said. “It didn’t work. And we lived in the same apartment.”
“I’m not him,” Jake said.
“I know. But that doesn’t make a lot of difference. You still have the capacity to hurt me the same way he did.”
Jake turned away, staring off into the distance, fixing his gaze in the direction of Havenwoods as he wondered at the wounds that ran so deep. Was he the cause of her insecurities about men? She was such a confident woman, yet she refused to risk her heart. He’d wounded her so deeply that she was still trying to recover.
Maybe he was the only one who could heal that hurt. Jake took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you,” he said, struggling to his feet. He pulled her up beside him, handing her her hockey stick. “Maybe I’ve always been in love with you. I don’t know. But I figured you should probably know. This is the last time I’m going to say it and whatever you decide to do with it, I’ll be all right.”
She opened her mouth to speak, then forced a smile, as she considered his admission. “I—I don’t know what to say,” she murmured. “There was a time when that’s all I wanted to hear. But back then, it was just a fantasy. Now it’s—”
They’d so carefully avoided any talk of the future, choosing to keep their relationship simple, sexual. And now he’d put all his cards on the table. Maybe he’d always known they’d be together. Perhaps that’s why he’d turned her down all those years before. Because, deep inside, he knew they’d be together again—they’d have a second chance.
“How do you know you love me?” she asked.
Jake shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know how. I just feel it.”
“Maybe you just need me,” she said. “There’s a difference, you know.”
Jake sucked in a sharp breath, the cold air clearing his head. “No,” he murmured. “That’s not it.” He grabbed her hands. “It’s more than that.”
“Don’t do this,” Caley murmured, forcing a smile. “It will only make things difficult in the end.”
Jake cursed beneath his breath. “So what? I don’t care. Maybe things should be difficult. Maybe it should be hard for us to leave each other. What’s so wrong about that? At least I can admit I have feelings for you.”