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Sergey. (Anxiously.) — How do you know?
Alik. — I know! If he wanted to do something, he would have done it right away. And if anything, call me. We’ll sort it out.
Sergey. (Stopped in the middle of the room.) — What do you mean, call you? What are you talking about? How will you sort anything out? (Nervously.) You’re just a voice.
Alik. — Oi, yes. I forgot! Sorry, brother. You’re right. I’m just a voice. But what a voice! The way I talked to him, he won’t bother you anymore! I guarantee! Oi…
Sergey. (Eyes bulging. Shouted nervously.) — I knew it! I knew it was you! Why did you do that? How? How did you do that?
Pause.
Sergey. — Why are you silent? (Pacing the apartment, listening.) Speak. Are you already speaking in my voice? How do you do that? Who are you? Speak.
Pause.
(Sergey slowly looks around. Silence. Suddenly the smartphone rang. Sergey flinched. He walked over to the table where it lay and saw that it was the director calling. He answered the call.)
Sergey. (Modestly.) — Hello!
Director. — Sergey, you need to come to the office urgently. The report for last month, there are many mistakes! They need to be corrected. Urgently!
Sergey. — But, I have a day off. I’ve already worked two weeks without days off. And…
Director. (Interrupting.) — No «ands.» Sergey, come to the office immediately! And do this work! Do you understand?
Sergey. — But… I have plans…
Director. (Raising his voice.) — What plans? Work is more important. You have to do it!
Sergey. (Mumbling and stuttering.) — But, but… my girlfriend is coming over.
Director. (Interrupting, shouting.) — What girlfriend? Immediately to the office. Come and do the report! Do you understand me?
Pause.
Director. — Do you understand me?
Sergey. (Silently listens and nervously thinks about what to do.)
Director. — Hello! Why are you silent? Can you hear me? Hello! Get to the office right now, or else…
Sergey. (Interrupted sharply and loudly.) — Shut up! I hear you. Now you listen to me. I worked two weeks without days off. I’m tired! And I won’t work like that anymore! Listen carefully: now I will work like everyone else. From 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM and not a minute more! No overtime or extra work. You’ll double my salary and make me department head. You promised me! I’ve been waiting for that position for three years, and you keep feeding me promises. And for all the overtime, you’ll pay me in money, not your stingy «thank yous»! Keep your «thank yous» for yourself. Got it?! And if you don’t like something, do the work yourself. I’ve said everything! Think about it. When you’ve thought it over, call me back!
(Sergey hung up the call and put the smartphone on the table. He sat down on the chair and with a serious expression stared at one point.)
Pause.
Alik. (Surprised, admiring.) — Wow, brother, you’re just… No words. My admiration and worship, yes. I applaud you standing up, brother. You’re my idol! You did it! My respects to you to the skies!
Sergey. (Resignedly, in a quiet voice.) — This is the end! He’ll fire me now. That’s it!
Alik. — Hey, brother. Screw him. I never liked that job anyway!
Sergey. (Interrupting.) — What does you have to do with it? I work there. Worked. Ay, why did I say that? What now?
Alik. — Brother, you said it yourself. Without my help! He just got to you, that’s why you couldn’t take it anymore! You’ll find another job. You’re a specialist, damn good. You do your job, here and there, you rule. Everything will be fine, don’t worry so much!
Sergey. (Encouraged.) — You know what… You’re right! Yes. I have two higher educations. I know how to work and I love working! Yes. Screw him!
Alik. (Joyfully and briskly.) — Yes! Brother, you’re the best!
Sergey. (Confidently and smiling.) — I’m the best! I can do anything!
Alik. — You can, brother!
Sergey. (Stood up from the chair, joyfully chants.) — I’ll find another job, where I’ll be valued and respected!
Alik. (Joyfully.) — You’ll find it, brother! Yes! You’ll definitely find it!
Sergey. — Tomorrow I’ll post an ad. Everything will be fine! I won’t be left without a job.
Alik. — Yes! I’m with you, brother. We’ll make it!
Sergey. — Yes!
Alik. — Yes, brother!
Sergey. — Yes!
(The doorbell rang.)
Alik. — Vay, you scared me! Brother, who’s that? Huh? (Smiling.) The neighbor, maybe? Or your director came for more, huh?
Sergey. (Smiling.) — I know who it is!
Scene 3
(Sergey went to open the door. He opened it. Alina was standing on the doorstep.)
Sergey. (Smiling.) — Hello! Come in. (Fussily and excitedly.) I’ve been waiting for you so much!
(Takes her purse.) Please, come in.
Alik. (Admiringly.) — Vaaaaay. How beautiful she is, brother!
Sergey. (Through his teeth.) — Shut up! (Smiles idiotically.) Don’t say anything.
Alina. — What?
Sergey. (Excitedly.) — Nothing. Come in, have a seat! (Points his hand at the chair by the table.)
Alina. — I’ll go to the bathroom, wash my hands. After being outside, after all.
Sergey. (Excitedly fusses near her.) — Yes, yes, of course, go.
(Alina left.)
Sergey. (Pacing nervously around the room and through his teeth, angrily, in a low voice speaks.) — You promised you’d be quiet?! What’s going on? Huh? Be quiet! I want to be alone with my girlfriend. Can you just keep quiet?
Alik. (Smiling.) — Brother, if you could see yourself from the outside. Pacing back and forth and talking to yourself! Quite a sight!
Sergey. — I’m serious. Can you be quiet? You promised! (Sat down on the chair.)
Alik. — I remember, brother. I remember! But…
Sergey. (Interrupting.) — What «but»? Well what? Don’t say anything, she’s coming already.
Alik. — I promised to be quiet. Yes. But that was before I saw her. She’s magnificent, brother! Sweet as a peach-passionfruit!
Sergey. (Surprised.) — What? What nonsense? What peach-passionfruit? Those are two different fruits! And their tastes are different too!
Alik. — I know, brother! But if you combine them together. That’s how sweet she is! Vay, what a woman.
Sergey. — What? Enough! Stop it! She’s not a fruit! She’s a girl. My girlfriend! Got it?
Alik. — Oi, mama, I’m thrilled. What a good one!
Sergey. — Enough, I said. Stop!
Alina entered the room.
Alina. — Stop what?
Sergey. (Jumped up from the chair.) — What? (Frightened.) Alina? Is that you?
Alina. (Smiling.) — Well, of course it’s me. Who were you expecting?
Sergey. (Excitedly and quickly.) — I wasn’t expecting anyone! Well, I mean you! Of course, you. Only you!
Alina. (Walked over to the chair, sat down.) — So what were you saying? What and who needs to stop?
Sergey. (Looks at Alina and smiles idiotically.) — What?
Alina. — I’m asking, to whom and what needs to be stopped?
Sergey. — What do you mean? When?
Alina. — What — when?
Sergey. — I don’t know. You’re the one talking.
Alina. — Me? I’m talking. You’re confusing me. I asked you, to whom and what needs to be stopped? What’s not clear?
Sergey. — Everything is clear!
Alina. — Well?!
Sergey. — What — well?
Alina. — Are you kidding me?
Sergey. — How did you guess? (Frightened.) Oi! I meant to say: what makes you think that? Yes. No, I’m not kidding, no.
Alik. — Vay, brother. What are you saying?
Sergey. — What am I saying? I’m not saying anything!
Alina. — What?
Sergey. — I’m saying… (Silent and smiling idiotically.)
Pause.
Sergey. (Smiling and looking at Alina.)
Alina. (Bewildered, looks at Sergey.) — What? What’s wrong with you? Are you okay?
Sergey. (Through an idiotic smile, drawn out.) — Yeees.
Alina. — Are you sure?
Sergey. (Drawn out.) — Suuure.
Alik. — Brother! You’re completely…
Sergey. (Interrupting. Loudly.) — I’m fine. Yes! I was waiting for you! I had breakfast. Got up. Woke up. Pfft. I mean, first I woke up, then I waited for you, had breakfast. Washed up. Yes! Washed up with water and waited for you. And had breakfast. Yes. And here you are. (In a low voice.) And I’m very glad to see you!
Alina. (Smiled.) — I’m glad to see you too. So?
Sergey. — What?
Alik. (Nervously.) — Sit down already!
Sergey. (Sat down abruptly on the chair.) — Yes, yes. I’m listening to you.
Alina. — I’m listening to you! When I came back from the bathroom, you were saying that someone needed to stop something!
Sergey. (As if he remembered. Loudly.) — Aaah. You mean that?
Alina. — Exactly.
Sergey. — Well, that’s clear.
Alik. — What’s clear, brother? Speak. I’m interested myself now!
Sergey. — I’m saying that…
Alina. — Well?
Sergey. — What — well?
Alina. (Nervously.) — Seryozha!
Sergey. — Yes, it’s clear. I was just talking to myself.
Alik. — To me. To be precise!
Sergey. — Yes, to you.
Alina. — What — to me?
Alik. — Brother, pull yourself together.
Sergey. — I am pulled together and focused, yes.
Alina. — Seryozha, are you alright? You’re scaring me!
Alik. — Me too, brother, to be honest, you’re scaring me a little.
Sergey. — Everything is fine with me. Why be scared?
Alina. — What?
Pause.
Sergey. (Smiled nervously and, taking a deep breath, blurted out in one breath. Quickly.) — I love you very, very much, and that’s why I’m acting like a complete idiot. I don’t know how to confess my feelings to you. But now I’m confessing. Please forgive me. I love you! (Exhaled.) There!
Pause.
Alik. — Wow!
Alina. (Shyly smiling.) — Wow!
Pause.
Alik. (In a low voice, almost a whisper.) — Brother. Didn’t expect that. Handsome!
Sergey. — Quiet!
Alina. — What?
Sergey. (Frightened. Nervously.) — I’m saying it’s so quiet here. Maybe we should listen to music? Or a movie? Yes, a movie! We were going to watch a good movie, weren’t we?! (Got up abruptly from the chair and went to the TV.)
Alina. — Sergey.
Sergey. — I’ll just find the flash drive and… (Paces the room, looking for the flash drive.) …we’ll watch a movie.
Alina. — Sergey!
Sergey. — Here, here, it was somewhere here. (Searching with his eyes.)
Alina. — Can you hear me? Seryozha.
Sergey. (Froze excitedly.) — Yes, yes, I’m listening! What happened?
Alina. — I love you too. Very much!
Sergey. — What?
Alina. (Shyly, in a low voice.) — I said I love you too. Very much!
Pause.
(Sergey smiled, his eyes moistened and sparkled. He wiped the tears that had welled up from his eyes and walked quickly to Alina. Alina stood up from the chair. And, embracing tightly, they merged in their first kiss.)
Alik. (Joyfully. Applauds.) — Handsome! Brother, well done, keep it up! Honestly, handsome!
Pause.
(Sergey and Alina after the kiss stand silently for a few more minutes, embraced.)
Alina. — I’m glad you were finally able to confess your feelings.
Sergey. (Smiling.) — You have no idea how glad I am!
Alik. — And I’m glad, brother!
Alina. — Has our relationship moved to a new level now?
Sergey. — Yes. I think yes. Definitely!
Alina. (Shyly smiling.) — And what next?
Alik. — Next — marriage, family, children.
Sergey. — Next — marriage, family, children.
Alina. (Surprised.) — Wow! Sergey, you’re really surprising me today!
Sergey. (Eyes bulging with surprise that he repeated after Alik.) — Oh God!
Alik. — And you’re surprising me too, brother. You’ve become so brutal! A real male, vay. Lead her to bed quickly.
Sergey. (Frightened.) — Quiet, you! What bed?
Alina. (Surprised.) — What bed? What are you talking about? (Took her hands away from Sergey and stepped back one step.)
Sergey. (Frightened. Resourcefully.) — Yes, I’m saying that we’ll need to buy a bed. A new one!
Alina. — What? For whom?
Sergey. — For the children.
Alina. — What children?
Pause.
Sergey. — Our children, well, when we have them. When they’re born! For our children. Yeah.
Alina. (Smiling.)
Sergey. — You know what prices are like these days? You need to think ahead. There!
Alina. (Took Sergey’s hands.) — You’re acting strange today.
Alik. — That’s for sure.
Alina. — I like it.
Sergey. (Surprised.) — Yes?
Alik. (Joyfully. Loudly.) — Yes!
Alina. — Today I saw that you’re serious about me! I thought we were just friends. It would be hard for me to be just friends with you.
Sergey. — Why?
Alik. — Why?
Alina. — Because I don’t feel about you like a friend. But like a man I love!
(They embrace.)
Pause.
(After the embrace.)
Sergey. (Smiled, peacefully.) — Shall we go watch a movie?
Alina. (Smiled.) — Let’s go.
Alik. — What movie? Hey. Lead her to the bedroom! Who’s going to make children? Huh?
Sergey. — Have a seat on the couch. I’ll find the flash drive with the movie.
Alik. (Indignantly.) — What flash drive? Deceiver. You said it yourself: family, children. Lovey-dovey. Who’s going to bring you children, a stork? They have to be made. Go make them!
Alina. (Sat down on the couch.)
Sergey. — Here it is. (Found the flash drive on the nightstand. Went to the TV.) That’s it. (Took the TV remote and sat down on the couch next to Alina. Put his arm around her.) Turned it on. Let’s watch.
Alik. (Indignantly.) — Brother, hello?! Can you hear me or not?
Sergey. (Turned on the movie. They watch. Pulls Alina close to him.)
Alina. (Smiling. Snuggles up to Sergey.)
Alik. — Brother, it’s the perfect time for love. She’s ready! Don’t miss the moment.
Sergey. — Leave me alone already. I know what to do myself. Shut up!
Alina. — What? Who are you talking to?
Sergey. (Frightened.) — Yes, got carried away watching the movie. Everything’s fine. (Smiles idiotically.)
Alina. — Hmm. Well, okay. (Smiled.)
Alik. (Whispering.) — Brother, listen to me, the time for love has come. Come on! Act!
Sergey. (Through his teeth, whisper.) — Enough already. Be quiet for a while. We had an agreement!
Alina. — What’s wrong with you? Who are you talking to?
(Sergey’s smartphone, lying on the table, rang.)
Sergey. (Seizing the moment.) — Oh, the phone! (Gets up abruptly from the couch.)
Alik. — Brother, where are you going?
Sergey. — Quiet! (Picked up the smartphone and looked to see who was calling.) It’s the director!
Alina. — Something important? What happened? You look terrible!
Alik. — Brother, answer the phone.
Sergey. — It’s the director!
Alina. — Well, wonderful. Answer it. Maybe it’s something important.
Alik. — Brother, answer it already.
Sergey. — He fired me. Probably.
Alina. — Why on earth?
Sergey. — Yeah… It’s not something you can explain quickly. Long story.
Alik. — Brother, I’m with you. Answer him.
Alina. — Strange.
Sergey. — Alright. (Takes a deep breath.) Hello.
Director. — Hello, Sergey?
Sergey. — Yes. I’m listening.
Director. — I’ve thought carefully about what you told me.
Sergey. (Modestly, interrupting.) — Anton Pavlovich, I…
Director. (Interrupting.) — No, listen.
Sergey. — Yes, alright, sorry. Go ahead, please.
Director. — So. I thoroughly considered all the information I received from you.
Pause.
Director. — It was quite, unusual. And very rude of you.
Sergey. (Whispering, guiltily.) — Forgive me!
Director. — Well, yes. No one has ever spoken to me like that! It was, as I already said, very rude. But your speech, your words, reached me. I heard them! You’ve been working at my firm for a long time and have proven yourself to be a responsible and hardworking person. You easily handle the duties assigned to you. You’re an honest person, Sergey. And you deserve to become the head of the main department. If you agree, I’m ready to offer you that position. And the salary, naturally, will be three times higher than what you have now.
Sergey.
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