For The Sake Of The Children

“Indeed,” Rose said, smiling. “And since you are so concerned with her spiritual welfare, let me assure you that she is learning to say her prayers, and I spend time every day reading Bible stories to her.”

Frank nodded. “We also have family Bible time every night. But do tell me, what does your spiritual practice look like? I always like to hear ways we can deepen our relationship with the Lord.”

The ashen color on both Garretts’ faces brought a smile to Silas’s face. He shouldn’t gloat, but having lived in that household, he knew that their spiritual practice was limited to church on Sunday and prayers at the evening meal. And they usually gave Milly her evening meal in the nursery, not with the family. In essence, they’d just countered the arguments the Garretts had made against Milly remaining where she was.

Truth be told, having the disparity in their spiritual lives pointed out made it more important than ever for Silas to raise Milly. The Garretts were very good about making sure everyone knew how charitable they were, but the miserly way they counted every penny they gave, unwilling to give beyond what they thought was their obligation, stood out in stark contrast to his time in a household that cheerfully gave everything they could.

Mr. Garrett coughed. “I suppose what you’re doing is sufficient. But that doesn’t change the fact that Silas is hardly qualified to raise a child. How can he be, when he’s not even there?”

Feeling stronger, braver, Silas gave him a hard look. “Does that mean you’ve dismissed the nanny you hired to care for Milly?”

Mrs. Garrett shrank back as she glanced at her husband. If it was wrong for Silas to have a nanny, then shouldn’t it be equally wrong for them?

“She is not just a nanny,” Mr. Garrett said. “She is teaching Millicent proper etiquette and deportment, and as Millicent gets older, will also give her her regular school lessons. Miss Bertrand is also helping Millicent learn French. Our little darling will be quite the accomplished young lady.”

Mrs. Garrett’s eyes gleamed. “And what accomplishments will Rose teach her? Nothing we want her to learn, I’m sure.”

Rose stiffened, then adjusted her posture as she regarded the Garretts with such a regal expression that Silas almost felt sorry for them.

“I understand that you’re grieving your daughter, and Milly is your only remaining connection to her. And so I forgive you for your grievous insults against my character when you know nothing of it. You are correct in that I cannot teach her French. However, there are a good many things she can learn from me. For example, when Milly first came to us, she did not know how to share with the other children. Now she cooperates well with others, and mothers such as Emma Jane Jackson are delighted to have Milly over to play. That is an accomplishment anyone would be proud to have.”

Silas noted the way Rose emphasized the Jackson name. Though Emma Jane wouldn’t have minded, he could see the way it pained Rose to have to use her friend as a connection to prove her worth. Especially because Mrs. Garrett’s eyes widened at the mention.

“Yes, grief is a terrible thing,” Frank said slowly. “And I can see how it must be hard to have lost your only child. I, too, know the pain of losing one’s children. Fortunately, while my wife and four children went to be with the Lord, I have one remaining daughter, Annabelle, and her little girl, Catherine, brings me more joy than I could have imagined. It must have been terrible to think you were losing little Milly, too.”

Silas stared at him. Just whose side was he on? Rose caught Silas’s eye and gave a subtle shake of her head. She seemed to be telling him to trust Frank.

“Which is why I’m sure Silas will agree with me when I tell you that you are welcome to visit Milly anytime. In fact, we would be delighted to have you come for supper tonight. You can see for yourself how Milly has progressed, and then, afterward, you could spend some time playing with her here in the parlor.”

At Frank’s friendly smile, Silas understood. He was offering them time with Milly, offering them a chance to have a relationship with her, but in a way that still left Silas in control.

“Surely she’s in bed by then.” Mrs. Garrett’s horrified expression matched her tone of voice.

Frank gave her another pleasant smile. “Of course not. The evenings are valuable family time, and we consider Milly part of the family.”

The Garretts exchanged glances that said they were none too pleased with the arrangement, but they had no room to complain. Though they weren’t leaving with what they came for—Milly—Frank had offered them the chance to spend time with their granddaughter. Silas had to admit the older man was far more reasonable than he would have been.

“What time is supper?” Mr. Garrett asked, his face pinched in an unpleasant expression.

“We eat at six,” Frank said, standing. “I’m sure you have other business to attend to, so we’ll look forward to seeing you then.”

The dismissal was as polite as a dismissal could be, and a weight seemed to fall off the entire room. Even the Garretts appeared to be relieved at having a reason to go without having to continue with small talk that was unlikely to be polite.

“Thank you,” Mr. Garrett said, giving a curt nod as he led his wife out of the room.

As the door closed behind the Garretts, everyone seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief.

Maddie reentered the parlor, wiping her hands on her apron. “I thought those guttersnipes would never leave.” Then she looked at Frank, disgust evident on her face. “I suppose you’ve probably invited them for supper.”

His smile was the only answer she needed as she groaned and went back into the kitchen, muttering about the indignities of her work.

Then Frank turned to Rose. “I apologize if my invitation will force you to suffer further insult, but I think it best we at least put on the appearance of cooperation. We don’t want Silas to be accused of not allowing them to see Milly. As long as we appear to be perfectly reasonable in our efforts, they’ll have a hard time convincing a judge that Milly should live with them.”

She nodded slowly. “It’s all right. I’ve heard far worse.” Then she turned to Silas, her forehead knotted with concern. “Do you think they’d go that far?”

He wished he could take away the lines littering her forehead. “They were talking to a lawyer in Ohio about it, so I would imagine that they’d be pursuing it here if they had to. I imagine there will be quite a few things they don’t like about the situation, as if what they voiced wasn’t enough.”

The old familiar heaviness settled on him again. “Nothing I do for Milly is going to be good enough for them. Though they were pleased by our marriage, even when Annie was alive, they were constantly critical. Annie always meekly agreed. They expected me to, and it irked them that I never did.”

Frank patted him on the shoulder. “We know differently. Milly couldn’t have asked for a better father than you.”

High praise from a man who seemed to be everything Silas hoped to be in a father.

“It’s true,” Rose said softly. “You’re quite wonderful with her. I don’t know of any father so involved in raising his children as you.”

Then she gave a small chuckle. “Well, except Joseph, Will, Jasper, Mitch and Uncle Frank, of course. But they’re family, so I suppose I’m biased.”

Sobering, she regarded him with a serious expression that seemed so much less like the Rose he knew, and like a completely different person. “I know it hurts your pride, but if it would smooth things over with the Garretts, I would be happy to help you pay for an actual nanny to care for Milly. The two of you shouldn’t have to suffer for my mistake.”

A dull knife tearing at Silas’s insides wouldn’t have hurt as much as the mournful expression on Rose’s face. With the way her family and friends supported her, he hadn’t given much thought to the way those outside the circle must still treat her. Granted, he’d once thought that marriage would be a perfect solution for both of them, as a means of saving her reputation. But that was before he’d seen how well Rose got by on her own. She didn’t need him or any other man to save her.

“I stand by what I told them,” Silas said, looking her square in the eye. “Milly couldn’t have a better example of how to lead a good Christian life than you. It’s as Frank said. You made a mistake, but who doesn’t? We’re all going to mess up sometimes, so she needs to know that what you do afterward is what makes the difference.”

Rose nodded slowly like she’d heard those words before. “All the same, if it would make things easier for you to keep Milly...”

“None of that, Rose.” Frank put his arm around her. “This is just like when we had people asking me to resign as pastor because you live here. There will always be bullies pursuing their own agendas, what they think is right, but without the grace the Lord asks of us. If you give up taking care of Milly just to appease the bullies, it’ll make you that much more susceptible to the next round of bullies who want to come after you. There will always be someone wanting to take you down. Stand strong in your faith, and it will all work out.”

The doubt creeping along her face made Silas wish he could reach out and hold her, to tell her it was going to be all right. But he didn’t have that right. Even when he’d been courting her, when he’d held her and told her all the things he wanted to do for her, all the things he’d felt for her, he’d been wrong to be so free with his heart when it wasn’t his to give. It was wrong of him to ask her to entangle hers.

Now, with them both free to finally love one another, such comfort and intimacy still wasn’t right. They were different people who didn’t know each other anymore. If they’d ever known each other at all. The Rose Stone he’d fallen in love with was a bold, sassy woman whose smile lit up every room. Her flirtatious glances had made him feel every bit a man. But that was before he knew what it meant to be a man. Before he knew what it meant to honor the woman he loved.

He hadn’t honored Rose back then. If he had, he never would have messed with her heart. He would have been honest about the situation between his family and Annie’s family. He wouldn’t have stolen all those kisses that didn’t belong to him.

In truth, the biggest problem with all the things the Garretts said against Rose was that they were pointing their fingers at the wrong person. Silas had been the one to behave dishonorably toward Rose. And though Rose had never spoken of her time with the outlaw who’d fathered her child, from what Silas had heard, that man had dishonored her, as well.

Seeing how selflessly she’d been willing to give up Milly for Silas’s sake, Silas realized something he hadn’t seen in Rose before. Every time he thought he had a glimpse into her heart to see who she really was, he found a depth he hadn’t known existed. And the more he examined his own heart, he found how grossly unworthy he was of such a woman.

Though it pained him to make such an admission, the real reason he was grateful Rose hadn’t accepted his proposal was that in all the trials people saw as being her flaws, she’d come out too strong, too good, and a man like Silas simply didn’t deserve her.

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