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“Crying jags are common for women in my condition. Look,” she said abruptly, cutting herself off, “you didn’t ring my bell because you wanted to take a survey on how emotional pregnant women are. Is there something I can do for you?”
Touchy. Obviously not a shrinking violet. It made him feel better.
Dennis glanced down at the key in his hand. “Yes. I’m your new neighbor, Dennis Lincoln. I’m expecting a delivery today, and I can’t be here to let the deliverymen in. I called the rental office, but they and maintenance seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth and I can’t get anyone to house-sit.”
He paused and looked at her. She wasn’t about to volunteer, he guessed. That made him feel better, too. Though it was part of his job, he really didn’t care for taking advantage of kindhearted people. Besides, he reminded himself, she’d probably been in on it with her late husband.
“I know it’s a huge imposition and this is the last minute and all, but are you working today?”
Dennis already knew the answer to that. He’d had Nicole’s complete schedule down pat before he ever moved in.
Nicole shook her head. “No, today’s my day off.” The day stretched before her, suddenly very large and empty. “I was just planning to put my feet up and watch my ankles thicken.”
Dennis glanced down at her feet. She was barefoot and had the kind of feet that reminded him of “Cinderella”: small and dainty. Her ankles were slender and graceful.
“They look pretty good from where I’m standing.”
The compliment, given so spontaneously and guilelessly, made Nicole laugh softly. It felt good. It had been a long time since she had been given a compliment. She smiled at him.
“Thanks, I needed that.”
His smile grew. “Any time, Mrs. Logan.”
She had no idea why, but for a moment, she entertained the idea of inviting him in. Maybe she was just lonely, or hungry for a kind word. That wasn’t like her, either.
He looked as if he was in a hurry.
Just as well, Nicole thought, she wasn’t in the market for any new friends. “What is it that you’re having delivered?”
“A big-screen TV.” Dennis nodded toward his apartment. The door was standing open. “My old one gave up the ghost just before I moved. When I went to replace it, I decided to treat myself to something that I’ve been wanting to get for a long time.”
She knew how that was. Except, in her case, it had been an education, something she had regretted turning her back on in the name of love.
Nicole cocked her head, unable to resist the temptation of looking into Dennis’s apartment. From where she stood, she had a clear view of the small living room. It appeared very tastefully furnished, but it was missing something.
Nicole looked at him, curious. “No Christmas decorations?”
It was an oversight he hadn’t thought about. Moira normally took care of that end. He never bothered with decorations at his apartment.
Dennis glossed over it casually. “I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
It sounded like procrastination to her. Something else she was well acquainted with. Craig did it all the time. Had done it, she corrected herself silently. Had done it. “It’s only a few days away.”
Moira would really like this woman, Dennis mused. “I don’t generally let things go until the last second. This year, however, things have gotten so hectic I seem to be leaving my whole personal life on hold until the last possible moment.”
Nicole nodded. He watched, intrigued, as a smile crept into her eyes. They were an interesting shade of indigo.
The comment reminded her of something Marlene might have said. “I have a sister like that. I’m thinking of getting a tranquilizing gun and shooting her with a dart for Christmas.”
Her smile broadened when she thought of Marlene. Now, with a brand new baby and maybe even a potential man in her life, perhaps Marlene would finally slow down to a trot instead of a gallop.
Radiant, he thought. There was no other word to describe the way she looked when she smiled other than radiant. Except, perhaps, for ethereal.
Not that that entered into the situation, he reminded himself.
“So you’ll let them in?” He held up the key in front of her.
Nicole took it in her hand. “I’ll let them in.”
“You’re a lifesaver.” He jerked a thumb behind him. “I’ll just tape a note on my door, telling the deliverymen that the key is with you.” Dennis hesitated for what he felt was the appropriate amount of time. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”
Nicole pocketed the key in her jumper, her fingers still curved around it. She shook her head at his question.
“It might be the highlight of my whole day.”
The sad look had returned, undermining her smile and chasing it from her eyes. He was tempted to ask her what was wrong.
But that would be getting ahead of the plan.
“Thanks, you’re a doll.” He turned toward his apartment, then stopped, realizing that he hadn’t told her the approximate time. “The store said the deliverymen would be by between eleven and three.” That was asking her to stay put for four hours. “I know it’s a huge imposition—”
Nicole waved away the concern she saw etched across his face. “No problem. Like I said, I wasn’t planning on doing anything today anyway. I’ll see that it’s delivered in one piece.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
Dennis turned and taped a note to his door. Nicole watched, surprised. “You were rather sure of yourself, weren’t you?”
He turned to look at her over his shoulder. “Hopeful,” he amended. “Always hopeful.”
She smiled sadly to herself. Hopeful. She’d forgotten what that was like.
Chapter 2
T he moment after she had agreed to wait for the delivery, she’d regretted it. There was nothing Nicole hated more than having to wait for something or someone. Whether it meant sitting in Dr. Pollack’s office, waiting to be seen, anticipating a delivery, or standing in line before a movie theater, waiting always made her feel fidgety and impatient.
But Dennis Lincoln had looked particularly needy and she was free for the day, so in a moment of weakness, she had said yes.
Now she was stuck with the situation. Sighing, she decided not to waste the day completely and went to work on her ongoing conversion of the small, second bedroom into a nursery.
She had just finished painting one wall when she heard a distant, rumbling noise, like the sound of a truck approaching. Setting down the roller, she looked at her watch. She’d expected the deliverymen to arrive later than the allotted time frame. It was just fifteen minutes into the first hour.
“Nice surprise,” she murmured, wiping her hands on a rag as she went to the front door.
“Mr. Lincoln isn’t home,” she called out to the burly man stepping out of the passenger side of the delivery truck. “But I can let you in.”
A kindly smile negated the impression his leathery features created as the deliveryman looked at her condition. He shrugged shoulders that looked as if they belonged on a much taller man. “All the same to us as long as someone signs for it.”
The thinner of the two men hopped onto the back of the truck. He angled the television set onto a dolly and then pressed the hydraulic lift to bring them both down to curb level. As he maneuvered the set up onto the curb, Nicole unlocked Dennis’s door and pushed it open.
She meant to wait outside. But idle curiosity goaded her on. Succumbing, she walked into the apartment. Nicole looked around slowly. For a man, Dennis kept a very neat home, she thought. There weren’t any boxes piled up, the way she might have expected since he had just moved in. Everything looked picture perfect.
“Where do you want it?”
The burly deliveryman’s question brought Nicole back to the present. “Oh.”
Nicole looked around, debating. Dennis hadn’t said anything about where he wanted the set and it wasn’t the sort of item that could be easily moved around. Once it was set down, it would be there for the duration, unless he had some strong friends.
There was an empty space facing the sofa. She noticed the cable outlet on the wall a few feet away.
Nicole pointed to it. “There, I guess.”
The burly man nodded. “Looks good to me.” He and the other deliveryman moved the set into position. Within moments, the cardboard packing was being removed.
While his partner took the flattened cardboard out to the truck, the burly man took out a clipboard and presented it to her. He jabbed a short, stubby finger at a space on the bottom of the form.
“Just sign here, madam, and we will be out of your way.”
Nicole wrote down her name, then paused. The deliverymen were probably expecting a tip. She felt in her pocket for a bill. It was empty. Nicole frowned. “I’ll just go get my purse—”
The man took the clipboard from her as he shook his head. “No, that’s okay. You buy the baby something from me.”
He laughed under his breath. Walking out of the apartment, he called out something to his partner. The other man peered out of the back of the truck and laughed as well, but it was a benevolent sound.
Nicole remained in the apartment a moment longer. She was tempted to look around a little more. It wasn’t right, but then she’d never slavishly tread the straight and narrow path. If she had, she would have never run off with Craig to begin with.
She approached the closet between the living room and the master bedroom, wondering if it was as neat as everything else or if he was the type to stuff everything out of sight. After a momentary debate, decorum won over curiosity. That and the fact that if the closet was crammed with possessions, they would come tumbling out if she opened the door. She didn’t want to spend the next half hour trying to stuff everything back.
Nicole let herself out, locking the door behind her. The delivery truck was just pulling out of the complex. The day looked much too nice to remain cooped up in the apartment with cans of light yellow semigloss paint. Nicole pocketed Dennis’s key and decided to pay a visit to her sister and her brand-new nephew. She needed her spirits lifted.
The sun was fading from the sky when Nicole returned. Walking through the door, she kicked off her shoes. She’d bought them for comfort, but now they pinched. Her feet felt swollen, just like the rest of her. Not that she could see her feet to verify that.
Nicole sighed, trying to take heart in what she’d seen this afternoon. Three weeks after delivery and Marlene looked great. Miraculously, her figure was back to what it had been before she had gotten pregnant.
She opened the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of orange juice. Nicole fervently hoped she’d look as good as Marlene did three weeks after she delivered. Even six weeks after she delivered.
There was something different about her sister, Nicole mused. A definite change that transcended appearance. That undercurrent of urgency to prove something, to constantly achieve something had dissipated. Marlene was a different person now.
Miracles, it seemed, still happened.
Suddenly too tired to make the trip from the kitchen to the living room, Nicole sank down in a chair beside the kitchen table and nursed her glass of juice.
If Marlene still seemed a little tense, she thought, it was because she was really trying hard to be the perfect mother as well as a successful businesswoman.
Nicole’s mouth curved, but there was only bitterness in her smile as the word mother echoed in her mind. It was small wonder if Marlene felt lost. Her sister had no example to follow. Neither of them did. There were no warm memories of a mother’s love to remember, no examples of selfless caring to emulate. They had no real-life experiences to serve as reference.
Nothing other than what Sally had provided as their housekeeper. Sally, who had staunchly remained with Marlene after James Bailey had died, was gruff and spoke plainly, but she had a soft spot in her heart for the motherless children they had been. It was Sally who had given them the only attention and affection she and Marlene had ever known. Still, Sally was no substitute for the real thing.
Nicole looked into her glass, tilting it and coating the sides as she thought. Though they never spoke about it, Nicole imagined that Marlene felt exactly the same way she did. That ever since Laura Bailey had abandoned them, there had been something missing from their lives.
Something very important, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.
Nicole felt her eyes misting again.
Damn, what was it with her today? Everything was making her cry. She hadn’t thought about her mother walking out on them in years.
Nicole exhaled loudly, bracing her shoulders which under the present circumstances wasn’t easy. She wasn’t going to allow memories of her mother, or lack of her mother, to prey on her mind now. As far as she was concerned, her mother was dead. Laura Bailey had died the day she had accepted her husband’s generous monetary settlement in exchange for leaving her children’s lives forever.
She set down her glass and sniffled. This weepiness had to stop. Being pregnant certainly had its downside. Wiping her eyes with her handkerchief, Nicole curved her other hand around her belly. Though she adored the baby she carried with every shred of the love that no one had ever bothered to tap into, Nicole absolutely hated being pregnant. Almost from the very beginning, it had felt as if she were dragging around an old-fashioned steamer trunk filled to capacity with rocks. Rocks that shifted and moved independently of her. Luckily, she had Marlene to lean on. Marlene had given birth in the beginning of December and knew what lay ahead.
Unlike Marlene who had anticipated the delivery with some trepidation, Nicole couldn’t wait to give birth and be done with it. She was passionately looking forward to shedding this elephantine weight she was struggling with. Naturally thin, she had never carried any excess weight until now. And as for her emotions, they had never been in such a state of constant flux as they had been these past months. Minor things taxed her patience and as for the major ones, it was almost beyond endurance. It was a struggle just to get through the day.
Rising, Nicole saw her reflection in the chrome trim on the stove. A pregnant woman was supposed to glow. If that was really true, then someone had failed to issue her the requisite mother-to-be glow kit. Par for the course. If her ship ever came in, she’d probably be standing in the airport at the time.
Damn, she had to shake this mood.
Nicole wandered back to the refrigerator and opened it again. There wasn’t anything in it that hadn’t been there that morning. It was filled with healthy food. Nothing tempted her. Marlene had asked her to stay for dinner but Nicole had taken a rain check because she wanted to be alone. Why, she hadn’t the faintest idea.
Or maybe she did.
Nicole dearly loved her sister, even though they had approached life from different paths, and there wasn’t anyone else’s company she enjoyed more. But Marlene seemed caught up in her child and even in Sullivan, the brother of the man who had donated his sperm to create Robby. Nicole felt as if she were intruding.
She felt, she thought now as she listlessly shifted food on the top shelf, like an A-number-one grouch right now.
Nicole let the refrigerator door slip from her fingers. It sighed shut, eliciting an echoing sigh from her. Maybe she’d just catch the news on TV and then go to bed, even though it was early. With any luck, she’d feel better tomorrow.
She’d just walked out of the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Automatically, she glanced at her watch. It was past six o’clock. She wasn’t in the mood for visitors. Lately, she mused, she wasn’t in the mood for very much. Except for fudge ripple ice cream, and she was all out of that.
The doorbell rang again. Resigned, she crossed to the door. Standing on her toes, Nicole looked through the peephole, prepared to send whoever was on the opposite side of the door on their way.
She sank back on her heels. It was Dennis Lincoln. Now what?
Nicole flipped the locks and opened the door. She left one hand guardedly on the jamb, unwilling to invite him in. “Hi. Is there anything wrong with the television set?”
She’d been crying again, he realized. Her eyes were red rimmed and slightly puffy. Against all regulations and safeguards, something protective stirred within Dennis. He did his best to ignore it.
Dennis shifted the paper bag he’d picked up at the Chinese restaurant. Filled with small cartons of different entrées, the heat radiated through the paper, warming his hands. Following Nicole over the course of the last week, he’d learned little except that she had a fondness for Chinese food.
“No, the set’s fine. Great, as a matter of fact.” He grinned like a kid with a new toy, which was just the way he figured he was supposed to look, if possessing an oversize TV set had mattered to him. “Maybe you’d like to come over this weekend and watch something—with your husband if he’s around.”
Every muscle seemed to instantly tighten in Nicole’s face. The profile he had on her said she and her late husband hadn’t been close in the past couple of years, but they’d obviously been close at least once in that time. He glanced at her stomach. Still, he could see that he had just pulled the scab off a raw wound.
There were times when the job left a bad taste in his mouth.
Nicole lowered her eyes. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible.”
The stillness in her voice underlined the awkward moment. He didn’t want to amplify her pain. Dennis glossed over the moment. “I guess he’s not much of a TV buff. Well, then, perhaps you’d like to—”
He didn’t know, she thought. There was no reason for him to know, of course. It was just that Craig’s death had been such a part of her life in the last month and a half, she unconsciously assumed everyone knew.
She cleared her throat. “My husband’s dead, Mr. Lincoln.”
He let the appropriate concern register on his face. It wasn’t difficult. There was something about the pain in her eyes that drew it out of him naturally.
“Oh God, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.” She was really devastated about his death, Dennis thought. Logan had been a damn fool not to have appreciated her. “When did it happen?”
She took a deep breath, distancing herself from the words. “Almost six weeks ago. He was a professional race car driver. His car spun out on the track and hit a wall. They clocked him doing one twenty.” Craig had died just as he’d lived. Quickly. There should have been comfort in that, somehow. There wasn’t.
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to remind you, I mean—”
Nicole waved away his tongue-tied words. There was no need for an apology. “That’s all right. The story only made page three of the sports page. There was no reason for you to know.” She lifted her shoulders in a halfhearted shrug.
After all, it wasn’t as if her new neighbor had been an acquaintance. And not even Craig’s friends had come to pay their respects when Craig died. She didn’t recognize half the people who had attended the funeral. They were people who had populated his new life. Craig had changed from the darkly handsome, gregarious young man he had been when he had started out on the racing circuit. Success had changed him. Or maybe, it had just brought out the man he had actually been.
All water under the bridge. It had been a long time since she had been head over heels in love with Craig. In her heart, Nicole mourned the man she thought she had fallen in love with, not the man who had died. There were times when she believed that the Craig Logan she thought she had known never really existed except in her mind.
This was the point where Dennis was going to be sympathetic. He had planned it this way. But as the words rose to his lips, Dennis felt uncomfortable with the role he was playing. Whether or not she knew about, or condoned, her husband’s involvement with the Syndicate, this had to be a rough time for her.
“Listen, if there’s anything I can do—if you need anything—help around the apartment, something like that, I’m pretty handy when I find the time.”
Nicole shook her head. “I’m fine, really.” If she needed anything, she’d call maintenance before she’d knock on his door. He wasn’t anything to her, even if he did have kind eyes. “Oh, before I forget.” She dug into her pocket. “Here’s your key.”
He took it from her and she stepped back, ready to close the door. Her gaze fell on the package in his hands. There was a translucent stain on the bottom of the bag.
“Well, goodbye. I don’t want to keep you from your dinner.”
“You’re not, exactly.” He looked down at the bag. “This was my way of saying thank you for this afternoon. I bought dinner for two. You and your…” His voice trailed off, purposely lost in an implied apology. Dennis offered the bag to her. “Chinese food. Since you’re alone, maybe I could join you if I manage to have the feet in my mouth surgically removed.”
The aroma was tempting. It had resurrected her dormant appetite and his manner was disarming in a soft, puppy dog sort of way. Still, she hardly knew him. Nicole shook her head. “I don’t—”
He wasn’t going to give her the chance to say no. “I don’t have anything nearly this good waiting for me in my refrigerator.”
“Then maybe you’d better take it.” She pressed the bag toward him, but he didn’t accept it.
“Old custom, never take back a bag of Chinese food. It’s bad luck.” Then, before she could protest further, he opened the bag in her hands and looked in as if he didn’t already know what it contained. “Wonton soup.”
She loved wonton soup. Nicole struggled to remain strong. She pushed the bag back into his hands. “No, I—”
“With sweet and sour pork, lobster Cantonese and Moo Goo Gai Pan.” He raised his eyes to hers. She was weakening, he thought. Dennis felt pleased, but there was a faint trace of guilt as well. “I’ve also got fried rice and appetizers.”
Nicole could feel her mouth watering. What would it hurt? He looked harmless enough.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d like,” he continued. “Other than the fact that everyone likes Chinese food.”
She felt her mouth curving in a small smile. “You took a survey?”
His grin grew larger. “No, but I never met anyone who didn’t.”
There were probably people somewhere who didn’t like Chinese food, but she certainly wasn’t among their number. Nicole glanced at the greasy bag. “It looks as if your Moo Goo is trying to make a break for it.”
The bag was threatening to tear. Dennis spread his hand protectively over the bottom. An edge of the carton was already beginning to protrude. “I need someplace to put this down.”
She nodded toward his door. “Your kitchen comes to mind.”
Dennis glanced over his shoulder. “Sure, if you’d rather eat there. My cleaning lady was just in yesterday, so—”
That would account for the neat state of the apartment, she thought.
“No, I meant that you should eat it in your kitchen.” She really didn’t feel like having company. Talking about Craig had brought memories back to her. Memories that hurt.
He raised the bag. The blend of aromas was doing its own selling, but it didn’t hurt to push just a little. Obviously his attempt at conversation wasn’t enough to gain entry to her home or her confidence. And now he’d need to hire a cleaning lady. “It’s a lot of food for just one person and leftovers have a habit of turning a strange shade of green in my refrigerator before I get back to them.” One look into her eyes told him he had her. “Besides, I’d feel better about putting you out this morning.”
She could almost taste the egg rolls. “Well…”
He went in for the kill. “And I was raised to believe that neighbors should be neighborly. This will be my chance to do something neighborly.”