Mills and Boon Christmas Joy Collection
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A lot.
“What is this?” She pulled the card the waitress had dropped on their table toward her. He’d been about to kiss her, and though she wanted that kiss, she was glad for the reprieve. She only needed a kiss at midnight. Not a public make-out session before that.
“Some sort of resolutions form,” he said. “So, gorgeous, what do you want for this New Year?”
She arched a brow. “Why do you keep calling me that?”
“Because you are gorgeous,” he said with another sly wink. “Plus, I’m sort of afraid if I say your name, you’ll remember you don’t like me.”
“Ah, I wouldn’t say I don’t like you,” she demurred. He was a little too wild and too out of control to be someone she felt comfortable with most of the time, but tonight that appealed to her. She wanted to forget who she was. Forget the past year had happened and wake up on January 1 as someone else.
That was pitiful, she thought. She should stop drinking. She’d had two martinis, and while she wasn’t drunk, she did have that nice little buzz. But it was the maudlin thoughts that bothered her.
“Okay. What would you say about me, then?”
“I like that tattoo,” she admitted. “And your stubble. How do you get it so soft?”
He laughed. “I’ve got more tattoos if you like that one.”
“You do?” she asked. “Where?”
“I’ll show you if you play your cards right.”
She flushed a little. Not as bold as she wanted to be, but she wasn’t backing away. She was doing this. She was going to be impulsive. And daring. Not Lindsey-like.
Needing a distraction, she glanced down at the resolution list on the card. “Do you do resolutions?”
“Seriously?” he asked with a mocking look. “Do I look like someone who wants to better myself?”
She shook her head, but realized in that instant that he was playing at being the bad-boy snowboarder she’d always thought he was. “I’m not sure about that. I think there is a big part of Carter Shaw the world never gets to see.”
He shook his head. “Nah. I mean, there are those tattoos, but otherwise, what you see is what you get.”
She doubted that. She was on to him. Why did he work so hard to be something he wasn’t? For that matter, why did she? Because it was easier than letting the world see who she truly was.
“What food do you want to try next year?” she asked, reading from the list and hoping that she could keep her courage until midnight. Only another fifteen minutes. She wanted him. She wanted this New Year’s Eve to be different from all the rest.
“Food, eh?” He wrinkled his forehead. “Not sure. I’m going with one of my cousins on a trip in Iceland to see a reindeer farm. So maybe reindeer?”
“I bet it doesn’t taste like chicken,” she said with a half smile. “When is that trip?”
“In the fall. It’s a Northern Lights trip. We spend three weeks up close to the Arctic Circle living with the locals and watching each night for the aurora borealis.”
That sounded...cold, but intriguing. “Have you done anything like that before?”
“Nah. This is the first year that I’m not competing anymore.”
She looked at him in surprise. “What? Why not?” If not for her reconstructed knee, she’d still be training and focusing on four years from now. The next winter games.
“I have gold medals and more titles that one man could ask for. It’s time to set my sights on something else.”
“Such as...?” she asked, leaning closer. This is what she was searching for. What came after competing the way they had for most of their life? It was different for Carter because he’d been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. A little rich kid who got whatever he wanted. But that had only carried him so far. She knew that he’d worked as hard as she had to get to the winter games.
“Not sure. But this is my year of adventure. My year to find out. I’m working on that charity you’re involved with to help kids get started in winter sports, because that’s new for me. The old man is glad to see me giving back. Can you believe he said that to me?” Carter scowled. “I’ve given back a lot over the years.”
For a moment she caught a glimpse of the real Carter. “You have. I’ve heard about the board you developed. It changed snowboarding.”
“Yeah, that was nothing,” he said, flashing a grin at her. And the real man disappeared behind that flirty facade. “So what new food are you going to try?”
“Nothing exotic like you. I have a thing about dairy and have usually not eaten cheese. I know that sounds silly but this year I think I’ll give it a try.”
He lifted a brow. “Cheese?”
“Yes.”
“You seriously don’t eat cheese?” he asked.
She had friends who acted the same way when she mentioned it. “I don’t like dairy stuff usually.”
“Cheeseburgers?”
“Nope.”
“Pizza?” he prodded.
“Pesto-based pizza with fresh tomatoes. No cheese.”
“Weirdo,” he said.
“Like you’re normal!”
“Who wants to be normal?” he scoffed. “Okay...all kidding aside, what new thing are you really going to try?”
She looked at him for a long minute before the two lemon-drop martinis and her courage finally caught up with her mouth. “You.”
2
“ME?”
“Yes, you. Remember all those times you badgered me for a kiss?” she asked.
He did. It had been a game for him since that first meeting. He’d wanted her, but she was out of his league. A classy woman—even at seventeen—who wouldn’t give him a second glance. Of course, that hadn’t stopped him. He’d teased her relentlessly, invaded her personal space and kept clamoring for a kiss.
“The last time I asked I thought I spooked you,” he said, getting to the heart of the reason why he was really sitting with Lindsey Collins, who, despite her request for a kiss, would more than likely not end up in his bed this evening. He’d pushed her in Sochi. Had goaded her into agreeing that she’d kiss him if he beat his world-record time, and still she hadn’t.
Not that he’d ever really expected her to fulfill her end of the bargain.
To him it had seemed like a simple little bet. Something to push her, because it had been ten years of flirting and it had seemed ridiculous to continue playing that game. And he’d been feeling trapped by his coach and sponsors, who’d wanted him to sign a new deal to keep doing the same thing he’d always done. So instead of acting like a man, he’d done what he always did and sought out Lindsey before her run to demand what he’d always wanted from her.
“It wasn’t you. God, please, don’t think that crash had anything to do with you,” she said, reaching over to put her hand on his.
She leaned in, and the scent of her perfume filled the air around him. Her brown eyes were sincere as they met his. She squeezed his hand. “My crash was... I’m not sure what, but it wasn’t you. I’ve been over the footage a million times. I wish that was an exaggeration, but it’s not. I’ve watched it over and over again, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. Did you see how smooth I was at the top?”
“I did.” He’d watched her run like everyone else. But for him, he’d felt that sense of pride he always did in her. He’d thought this time she’d beat him, and maybe that would put an end to his pursuit of her. Because she’d told him if she won that was the end of his kissing taunts.
But instead she’d crashed midway through her run. Her body and skis tumbling over each other. His heart had stopped beating for a second. She’d looked small and fragile as she’d crashed into the bright orange safety webbing. Guilt and fear had warred inside him.
“Well, it wasn’t you. I think I hit the snow wrong out of the gate. My coach has a couple of theories, as well. But, honestly, I’m not so scared of being kissed that I’d crash.
“Kissed lots of guys, have you?”
She made a face. “A lady doesn’t tell.”
“Apologies.”
“But I don’t mind telling you that the anticipation with you has been killing me. I want to believe when you do kiss me it will be spectacular. However, given that it’s been ten years of waiting, I can’t rule out the possibility that it might be a dud.”
He laughed. Threw his head back and just forgot everything else in this moment except for Lindsey. She was as nutty as he was but just covered it up better.
“It might. Or it could be the best damned thing either of us ever experiences.”
She let go of his hand and settled back against the seat. “I guess that’s why I’ve made you my resolution.”
There was something different about her tonight. The wedding earlier had made him start thinking about things that he usually ignored. That and the fact that beginning tomorrow he was no longer only an athlete. He didn’t have to train every day; he was going to chart a new path.
“Champagne or sparkling grape juice?” the cocktail waitress asked as she approached their table with a tray of drinks.
The Lars Usten Resort knew the party was going strong. Behind her was another waitress with hats with the year marked out in glitter and some kind of horn.
“Juice for me,” Carter said. He didn’t want to dull a single moment of the night with Lindsey, and although he liked to believe he could handle whatever life had thrown at him, he did it better when he was sober.
“Juice?” Lindsey asked, arching one eyebrow. “Champagne for me.”
The waitress set their drinks in front of them, and then they were each given a hat. For him a top hat. For her a tiara. She promptly put it on her head and turned to bat her eyelashes at him. “Do I look like a princess now?”
“The queen should be afraid you’re after her title,” he murmured.
“As if. I’m not after anything. You’re lucky, Carter. Lucky that you still have snowboarding. Life is very strange when you don’t have to get up every day and train,” she said, taking a sip of her champagne.
Not exactly what he’d been hoping to hear. “I think you’re supposed to wait for the toast to drink that.”
She smiled mischievously. “Going to tell on me?”
He shook his head. “Your secret’s safe with me, Linds.” How could he possibly deny this woman anything? She enchanted him. And he had to admit, she was a total mystery. He’d teased and cajoled her for his own amusement but had never really taken the time to get to know her. Tonight was showing him that all the preconceived notions he’d had were wrong.
She wasn’t the ice queen she’d always been on the snow. She was real and fragile and so damned tempting...
* * *
LINDSEY HAD NEVER worn a tiara before. Even though this one was plastic with fake gems, she was still thrilled to be wearing it. It made her feel girlie. “This is my first real New Year’s Eve party. Pitiful, isn’t it?”
“Not really. Your life was focused in a different direction.”
“Yeah, but you were training and still found time to party,” she said.
“I’m good at multitasking,” he replied.
“Most men really aren’t.”
He gave her a cynical look. “Really? You want to do the whole ‘battle of the sexes’ thing? Tonight?”
She didn’t. She wanted to enjoy the fact that she felt like a normal girl instead of someone apart from the mainstream. The Ice Queen, the media had labeled her. But the truth was, she had gotten so used to keeping her feelings hidden it was hard for her to actually show them.
“Of course not. I had no idea your ego was so thin,” she teased.
“It’s not. But you should know if you throw down what you’re going up against.”
“What? That you’re the boss?” she asked, trying not to smile. Carter had been flouting rules and tradition since the moment she’d met him. She found it really hard to believe that he’d have some hard set-in-stone ideas about anything. But she did believe that if he got into a fight, he’d go full-out and leave nothing.
She was used to winning and knew how to get what she wanted on the slopes but, one-on-one, she had a gut feeling he’d beat her every time. Hard as it was to admit, she just didn’t know how to play a game like this.
She sighed.
Who was she trying to kid here? She wasn’t going to be any different in the New Year than she’d been before. When had she ever been anything other than a stick-in-the-mud, tall, outdoorsy girl who would rather talk about skiing than anything else? Even her own family found her boring at times. Though they were kind about it and would listen to her talk about a new position or when she liked to shift her weight, she’d known they probably weren’t really all that interested.
“Want to dance?” Carter asked, bringing her back to the present. “One last spin around the dance floor to ring out the old year.”
She nodded. “I’d like that. And I’m kissing you at midnight.”
“Should I be on guard?” he murmured, stepping down from the high table and offering her his hand.
She took it and stumbled a little in her high heels. Bracing one hand on his chest, she whispered, “Not really. I know you want to kiss me.”
His blue-gray gaze slowly drifted over her lips before he locked eyes with her once again. “I’m having performance anxiety now that you mentioned it. It might not be that great.”
“I doubt that,” she said. “You never have that.”
“I wish I was as confident as you seem to think I am.”
“Aren’t you?” she breathed, reveling once again in his brisk masculine scent. They were pressed close together due to the crowds streaming in to hear the last song of the year. “You walked into a boardroom filled with executives you ticked off by campaigning to make them let you snowboard on their slopes, and then convinced them to back your charity event. You’ve got nerve, Shaw.”
He had more than that. He seemed to embrace his life in a way she only had when she’d left the gate and started down the slope. She knew people thought what she’d done was dangerous, but to her it had just felt natural. It was a tightly controlled run down the mountain, and she’d spent her lifetime training. So she didn’t credit that for anything other than being something she was good at.
She wanted to throw herself out of the gate of life, too. But she was getting a little nervous now that midnight was approaching. Carter had kissed lots of women; she knew that for a fact from all the gossip in the athlete’s village at the winter games, and from firsthand accounts from other Alpine skiers over the years. As for her... Well, she hadn’t kissed that many men. And the few sexual encounters she’d had were hurried affairs that had left her feeling cold and wanting more.
She didn’t want Carter to be the same. She’d sort of set him on the sex-god pedestal in her mind a long time ago. What if he wasn’t?
Or worse yet, what if he was great and she was the dud?
Ugh! This was what happened when she stepped outside her nice, safe, little zone. Carter stared down at her with those intense eyes of his, and she hoped she looked intriguing or inviting but was afraid she might just seem confused.
“What?”
“We don’t have to dance,” he said softly.
“I want to.” She had in her head an image of New Year’s Eve, and it involved her looking glamorous, which, thanks to the beautiful dress she wore, ticked that box. And she had a very handsome, sexy man who’d just asked her to dance.
She took his hand in hers. It would be too much for the band to play “The Way You Look Tonight,” but in her mind she wanted them to. Instead they danced to “Wrecking Ball.” Something that didn’t speak well for love.
But this wasn’t about love.
This thing between her and Carter had always been about pure lust. And tonight she was finally going to cross the finish line. Get the kiss he’d been taunting her with since they’d met.
The funny thing was, she was just as scared about that today as she had been when she was seventeen. He held her close, and for just a second she rested her head on his strong shoulder. Pretended they were that couple in her mind. The couple who could gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes at midnight and share a kiss so profound it would rock both their worlds.
But then Carter squeezed her hip and slid his hand up the middle of her back.
She tipped her head back to look up at him.
“The countdown is starting.”
It had already begun, Lindsey thought. It had started ten long years ago, and now it came down to this moment.
She licked her lips and couldn’t help but focus on his mouth. Those chiseled, full lips nestled in that closely shorn stubble.
“Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five...”
“Ready?”
“Three. Two. One.”
She went up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck and met his mouth with hers. His lips were soft, surprising her into parting hers. His breath was warm and minty, and he held her loosely, but she was rooted to the spot.
Around her people were kissing and celebrating, but her world had narrowed to just Carter. Carter Shaw.
Of course, he kissed like a dream. He was the kind of man who’d had lots of practice, but this didn’t feel routine, like something he’d done a million times before. To her it felt special and it awakened the passion she’d tucked away after her crash. It felt as though she was finally able to relax again as he kissed her.
She held his shoulders, and his hands on her waist tightened as he pulled her closer into the curve of his body. His chest was firm against hers. Solid. He held her as if he wasn’t going to let her fall. Or let her crash. And that was exactly what she needed.
She framed his face with her hands. Ran her fingers over that soft stubble of his and then pulled back. But he followed her. Kissing her again, dropping soft and tantalizing kisses along the line of her jaw before he lifted his head to look down at her.
“Not a dud,” he said.
“Not at all. That was...”
“Unexpected?” he suggested in a smooth, sexy voice.
His hands on her waist caressed her. She noticed that as the music changed to “Auld Lang Syne” and he pulled her closer, swayed with her to the music. She didn’t want him to let go. Maybe it was the drinks she’d had tonight or the fact that this was a new year. A new slate for her. But something made this moment with Carter seem almost perfect.
The rational part of her brain tried to say it wasn’t, but she shushed it. For just one night she wanted to be like every other person and not analyze her actions to death. She wanted to live.
She grabbed Carter’s shoulders and pulled him toward her. Caught his mouth with hers and kissed him the way she’d seen it done in the movies. The way she’d tried in the past. She’d found reality and movie kisses didn’t deliver in the same way; they’d always ended up tasting not quite right. But this time, as her tongue slid past his lips and into his mouth, everything felt different. Carter tasted good. His kiss was warm and...yes, perfect. Absolutely, profoundly perfect. He leaned over her and bent her back the slightest bit, angling his head to deepen the kiss. Her pulse was racing, and little tingles shot down her body. He twisted and moved them a few steps off the dance floor.
She felt the hard wall at her back and Carter’s warmth pressed into her. He pulled his mouth from hers, but only went as far as her neck, where he suckled at the skin as his hands roamed up and down her body.
She skimmed her own hands down the strong muscles of his back to his lean hips and tugged him closer. Felt the shaft of his erection against her and knew he wanted more.
She needed more. So much more from him at this moment.
“Want to get out of here?” she asked.
“I’ve got a room at the lodge.” He exhaled roughly. “Is that what you want?”
She nodded.
She didn’t want to talk about it or to discuss it too much or she might change her mind.
And tonight she was being impulsive.
“Yes, I want you.”
“I want you, too. I have for a long time,” he said, taking her hand and leading her out of the dance club. The lobby was quiet, almost shockingly so after the noise in the club. But there were a few staff members who smiled at them and wished them a happy New Year.
She kept her hand laced tightly with Carter’s; trusted him to lead her through this night. This new beginning. The one she’d wanted for so long but hadn’t been sure how to find.
They were alone in the elevator car, and Carter dropped her hand and stood a few inches from her. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to have any regrets.”
“I promise you I won’t.” That much she knew was true. She’d regret it more if she walked away from him. If she let this moment pass.
Suddenly she realized that it had been fear holding her here. Fear that had motivated everything she’d done since the crash. The crash that had taken her career and could have taken her life.
She’d been lucky.
Now she wanted to make up for lost time, wanted to make the most of her life, but had been struggling to get over the hump and actually do it.
Figured it would be Carter Shaw who’d push her and get her moving again.
She cupped his butt and squeezed. “Are you having doubts?”
He turned around, and she hadn’t realized how turned on he was by her until that moment. He moved toward her, backed her up against the side of the elevator car and kissed her full-on, his entire body pressing provocatively against hers.
His chest rubbed over her breasts, his hips canted in toward her and she felt the brush of his erection at her center. His hands went to the back of her head as his mouth hungrily claimed hers. He kissed her with a long, deep kiss that left her trembling and wanting so much more.
The bell dinged and the elevator doors slid open. But still he kissed her as if he couldn’t let her go. The doors started to slide shut, and he pulled back and cursed. He shoved his foot out to stop them from closing and tugged her behind him as he stepped into the hallway.
“I’m not changing my mind, gorgeous. I can promise you that.”
3
CARTER LED HER into his suite. He’d left the light on over the bed because he had never been a fan of a dark room. Kissing Lindsey was like the first time he’d hopped in the half-pipe and had the ride of his life.
She’d awakened something inside him that was so much more than physical. It was easy to say the affection and lust roiling through him right now was due to the day he’d spent with her. They’d both been in the bridal party. Lindsey as a bridesmaid and Carter as a groomsman. The other couple standing up for Elizabeth and Bradley was a real couple, so she and Carter had sort of been forced together. In spite of all his faults, he’d never been a big fan of lying, even to himself.
She cupped his butt again and groaned. He wanted to take this slow, but if she kept fondling him it was going to be a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am encounter up against the wall of his hotel room.
Even the thought of that made him shiver. God, he wanted her.
“Want a drink?” he asked, forcing himself to take a few steps from her. He hoped the distance would clear his head and maybe penetrate the red haze of lust that was surrounding him. Make him remember he’d wanted her for a long time. Their first time should be epic.
“There is only one thing in this room that I want, Carter Shaw, and I’m looking straight at him.”
She kicked off her high heels as she sauntered toward him, her hand under her arm. For a moment it looked as if she was cupping her own breast. He groaned as she slowly dragged her hand down the side of her own body. The dress gaped and he realized she was getting naked.
“Slow down, gorgeous, we have all night,” he said, toeing off his shoes as she closed the distance he’d put between them.
“It’s midnight, Carter, which means we only have six more hours until morning. Until the cold light of day. I don’t want to waste a second of it.”
She was different. He wanted to be, too. He wanted to just go with it and pretend that this was the real Lindsey. Except he knew it wasn’t.