Her Secret Life

“I have an early appointment, and I want to be sure that I make it on time.”

She smiled and patted his shoulder. “That makes sense. Hold the pan while I turn this bird.”

He did as she asked, but his thoughts were elsewhere. What would she think of Jackie? If he didn’t tell her that Jackie was a cocktail waitress, she wouldn’t guess it. I can’t have a woman whose occupation I dislike. Oh hell! I’m not making sense. He sat on the high stool beside the kitchen window and watched his mother make biscuits as he’d done since childhood.

“Have you found a nice girl yet, son?” He expected that question at least once during his visit, because she never failed to ask it. What could he say? He’d found one that he wanted desperately, but he wouldn’t say she would be his life’s choice.

“You always ask me that, Mom,” he said, hoping to put her on the defensive. “I don’t meet many women like you and Dot, but I’m open to being swept off my feet.”

She rubbed the flour off her hands and wiped them on a paper towel. “In other words, you’ve met someone, and you’re keeping her close to your chest.”

He nearly fell off the stool. If she was clairvoyant, she’d never mentioned it to him. “You’re right. I’m in the process of figuring out what to do about her, and when I know, I’ll be glad to tell you. But for now, there’s nothing to tell. Is Rob coming in today?”

“No. Your brother-in-law flew out last night, and he’ll fly to Russia before he comes home. Then he’ll have two days off. People think a pilot leads a glamorous life, but every time I see Rob, he’s just tired.”

Warren looked out of the window, saw his sister building a fire with the charcoal bricks she’d just bought, and got up. “I see Dot’s back and building a fire in the barbecue pit. I’m going out to help her.

He greeted his sister with a hug, helped her build the fire and strolled around the property that he’d given to their parents. As he gazed at the beautiful house, terrace, gardens and swimming pool, he was more proud of that gift to his parents than of anything he’d ever attained. But his father was gone now, and his mother was there alone, except when Dot and Rob brought her grandchildren to see her.

He went back into the house. “Mom, did you ever consider marrying again?”

She seemed startled. “Good Lord, no. Whatever made you think such a thing?”

“It’s not so far-fetched. You need someone to share this with. It isn’t good to be alone so much.”

She pulled a chair from the table and sat near him. “Are you in love with this woman you’ve met?”

There it was, a mother’s uncanny intuition. “I don’t think so, but it could develop into that. I’d rather not talk about her, because I don’t want to influence myself one way or the other.”

She sat there silently looking at him for a few minutes. He was used to that. Finally, she said, “I’ll pray that it works out in the way that’s best for you.”

“Thanks.” He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. “She’s…she’s so sweet. She’s so unbelievably sweet.” When he opened his eyes, a smile glowed on his mother’s face.

“I’m happy for you, son. When you think it’s appropriate, bring her to see me.”

“If I get to that stage, I certainly will.”

He helped his mother and his sister put the dinner on the table, and at six-thirty, they all sat down to a traditional Thanksgiving dinner of the type he’d known all of his life: corn chowder, roast turkey with cornbread dressing, cranberry relish, mustard greens, candied sweet potatoes and apple pie à la mode. His father hadn’t liked pumpkin pie, so his mother never served it.

At the end of the meal, he helped take the dishes to the dishwasher, clean the kitchen and straighten the dining room. “I’ll bet you don’t know another executive who’s willing to scrape dishes and clean up after a meal like this one,” Dot said to him. “As long as you stay this close to earth, brother, you’ll be a happy man, and the woman who gets you will be blessed.”

“Thanks,” he said to his older sibling, “but don’t tell me that. I’m acting the way I was raised. Well, I gotta split if I’m going to make that plane.” He hugged his sister and her children and went to find his mother.

“Thanks for a great dinner, Mom. I’ll call you when I get home.”

She walked with him to the door and wrapped him in her arms. “Get home safely, and don’t forget to pray.”

“I won’t,” he said.

An hour and a half later, he fastened his seat belt, said a word of prayer, leaned back and trusted God and the pilot of the Delta Airlines flight to bring the plane to New York City.

He walked into his apartment at five minutes after eleven, phoned his mother and began checking his calls. Three calls from the manager of his Honolulu hotel. She had fired the head of housekeeping and wanted to know if it was appropriate to hire a man for the job. He dialed her number. “Ms. Frazier, this is Warren Holcomb. As you know, we run an equal-opportunity business. If the man is your best-qualified candidate, and if he has a suitable personality and temperament, hire him.”

“The maids want a woman.”

“I’m sure you know how to tell them that you do your job as you see fit. You have my support. Good luck with it.” He hung up and waited for half past twelve when he could call Jackie.

Jackie kicked off her sandals, stepped out of the mini-skirt and low-cut blouse, jumped into her dress, zipped it up, slipped into her shoes and coat, grabbed her handbag and raced out of Allegory. If he called, she didn’t want to miss it, because he might not call back. She hailed a taxi, got in and breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t encountered Hornsby on her way out. He’d have used any pretense to delay her departure. She’d been home less than ten minutes when the phone rang. She ran to answer it and stood beside it with her left hand holding her chest as she tried to calm herself.

“Hello.”

“Hello. This is Warren.” The air seeped out of her. “Are you there?”

“Uh…yes. Did you go see your folks?”

“I did indeed, and I got home a little after eleven. Do you realize how long an hour can be?”

“What do you mean?”

“I had almost that long to wait until I could call you. You got home quickly.”

She didn’t tell him that she almost broke her neck doing it. “I took a taxi. How was your family?”

“I had dinner at my mother’s home with her, my sister and her three children. I always enjoy being with my family. How is your father?”

“Surprisingly energetic. We ate in the dining room, although I pushed him there in a wheelchair. That was the first time I’d seen him out of that bed in months. If only he would agree to the operation, he’d get well.”

“I’m glad he’s better. How old is he?”

“Sixty-four.”

“Hmm. That’s young these days. If you’d like me to talk with him, let me know. I’m told that I can be persuasive when I put myself to it.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Warren Holcomb couldn’t know that if she took him to meet her father, her dad would assume that the two of them had a commitment. “Thank you. I’ve had this burden practically alone for so long that I forget to ask for help. Besides, I wouldn’t want him to get the wrong impression.”

“Like what?” In her mind’s eye, she could see both of his eyebrows shoot up.

“Like thinking there’s more to our relationship than actually exists.”

“Not to worry, I can fence with the best of them, although I admit I’ve never crossed swords with a woman’s father. I’d like to help if you think I can, Jackie.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to admire you,” she said, and wished she hadn’t. “I wonder when I became loose-tongued,” she went on, before he could respond.

“I wouldn’t call it that. You spoke truthfully, because you don’t know me well enough to admire me. In fact, we don’t know each other, and I intend to change that if you’ll let me.”

“Come now, Warren. You wouldn’t normally look to a cocktail waitress for a meaningful relationship.”

“That wasn’t well put, Jackie. I am not prejudiced against any group, and it’s a good thing, or I’d have missed what I think is going on with us. Would you have turned your nose up at me twenty or so years ago when I waited tables at Seafood Forever, in Boston? Or would you have tried to find out who I really was?”

She heard what he didn’t say, and her heart nearly exploded with the joy that she felt. “Thank you for the vote of confidence. You won’t regret it.”

He was silent for a few seconds. Then he said, “I don’t think I will. You agreed to go out with me tomorrow. Remember?”

“I remember, and I’ll be downstairs at twelve-thirty.” Fortunately, her office had closed for the holiday weekend, or she’d have been hard pressed to give him a reason why she wasn’t free at midday, when he thought she only worked nights.

“Why downstairs?”

She didn’t intend for them to create a spontaneous combustion every time they were together, and he might as well know it. “It’s easier to prevent a fire than it is to put it out once it gets started.”

“Good Lord, you’re frank. It’s refreshing, though. I’d better let you get to bed, but I don’t want to. I could talk with you indefinitely.”

“I enjoy talking with you, too, but you’re right…I’d better get to sleep or I’ll be yawning all through lunch. Good night, Warren. Sleep well.”

“Not even a tiny kiss?”

She made the sound of a kiss and said, “That was a tiny one.”

She heard his kiss just before he said, “Good night, sweetheart.”

She hung up, but she couldn’t move. Her life was changing with the speed of a down-hill roller coaster, and it could be her ruin, but she didn’t want to change course. Every one of her senses told her that Warren Holcomb would introduce her to a whole new way of feeling and a new appreciation of life. And then what? Would he leave her adrift, to become another walking, breathing tragedy?

She mused over it as she prepared for bed. “Heaven help me, but I have to take the chance.”

He saw her at once, seated in the lobby facing the front door with her knees crossed and her left foot swinging, as comfortable as if she had been in her own domain. She rose with the grace of Aphrodite emerging from the Aegean Sea and walked to meet him.

He took both of her hands. “You’re the essence of grace,” were the words he said, but his mind was engaged with one question. Should he kiss her there in the lobby of the building in which she lived? She settled the matter by reaching up and kissing him on his right cheek.

“I appreciate punctuality,” she said, “because I hate to wait. Where are we going?”

“There’re lots of nice restaurants up in Harlem, but I thought we’d eat before we got there. I’m in the mood for Italian. What would you prefer?”

“I love Italian food, and I hope one of these days to go to Italy and eat my fill of it.”

“Then Italian it will be.” If I ever get the opportunity and we’re still together, I’ll show her Florence, Italy.

As they entered the restaurant, he noticed that two women leaving it wore shoes with heels three or four inches high and sharp pointed toes. He glanced at Jackie’s boots and relaxed when he saw that their heels didn’t exceed an inch and a half in height and that the toes of her boots were rounded.

“You’re not a slave to fashion, are you?” he said after they ordered.

She raised both eyebrows. “Me? Not! I wear what suits my lifestyle. Half the things in my closet are six or seven years old. I hate shopping, and I don’t make bills that I can’t pay at the end of the month.”

He leaned back, eager to hear more. “Girl after my own heart. Carrying charges have bankrupted many an honest person.” He decided to take a chance. “Something tells me you don’t like your waitress uniform.”

Her change in demeanor told him that he might have pushed the wrong button, and she seemed defensive when she said, “Do I look like the type of woman who would choose to wear that skimpy outfit?”

“No. That’s why I asked the question.”

The waiter brought their food—spaghetti with white clam sauce and tiny clams for her with a chef’s green salad, and veal marsala with an arugula and mushroom salad for him.

She could tell that he didn’t want to linger over the meal, that he wanted to move on to their destination. “I hope we’ll have more leisurely meals together, but right now, I can’t wait to show you my baby,” he said.

“This is your building.” It was less a question than a statement expressed in awe. “This is a community center. I had no idea I was coming to a place like this,” she said as they walked through the building. “It’s huge and ultramodern.”

“I try not to do anything halfway, Jackie. We use this facility for daily tutoring, sports, theatre, dance and music education, and each activity is carried on in a room built for that purpose. We have programs for children ages five to nine and ten to eighteen.”

“This is…wonderful.”

“My aim is to keep as many of our children as possible off the street and out of crime. This is home for a lot of them. I’ve been blessed to have the money, and I’m glad I found something useful to do with it.”

“You must be proud of this,” she said, but her thoughts were on the similarities of their interests and the things they had in common. If she could only share with him the part of her life of which he knew nothing. She longed to write a human interest story on the man and Harlem Clubs, Inc. for African American Woman, but she couldn’t do that without exposing herself. She made up her mind right then to find another night job that would enable her to care properly for her father.

“Have I lost you?” he asked her

She didn’t answer directly. “In my mind’s eye, I can see every room here filled with children, happy children eager to take advantage of a rare opportunity.”

“Most are like that, but quite a few are sullen or have big egos or are unhappy because they can’t keep up. Not many are troublemakers, because I don’t tolerate it, and they know it.”

He stopped to inspect a computer that a teenaged girl was building. “She’s very bright,” he said as they moved away from the busy teen, “but she has a bad home environment and spends as much time here as possible.”

“Mr. Holcomb, what’s wrong with this formula?” a boy asked him.

She noticed that he placed an arm around the boy’s shoulder as he looked at the problem. “You forgot the t. Rate of growth takes place over time. Remember?”

The boy grinned. “Yes, sir. I forget it every time. I’m going to make up my own formula.”

“Great,” Warren said, “as long as you remember the t.” He patted the boy’s shoulder and walked on. “He likes attention, so he always pretends he doesn’t know something. He knows it all right.” He unlocked a door. This is my office. I’m thinking of closing the one downtown and making this one my headquarters. If Bill Clinton’s office is around the corner, why can’t I have mine here?”

She peeped in and saw the luxurious accommodations that one would expect of a successful executive. “Elegant,” she said.

The touch of his hand at the curve of her back sent shivers up and down her spine. “Come on in.”

She stepped into his office and turned to face him. “Jackie.” His whisper of her name had the sound of reverence. “Jackie, let me hold you. Just let me feel you in my arms.” He didn’t touch her until she raised her arms to his shoulders, and then he laid claim, gripping her to him. What was happening to her? She wanted his hands all over her, but he only stroked her back as one would soothe a baby. She wanted to scream her frustration.

“Warren…I—”

“Shh. This isn’t the place for me to show you what I’m feeling right now.”

Get it together, girl, she told herself. Later…when he takes you home. She moved away from him with all the grace she could muster, and as if he hadn’t said a word, she spoke calmly the first repeatable thing that came to her mind. “If your theater group puts on a play, I’d like to see it.”

When he didn’t answer, she glanced up at him, and saw his perplexed stare. “Was I too abrupt?” he asked her, ignoring her meaningless remark. “I didn’t mean to unsettle you, but I know the consequences if I went any further with you. You’re a new experience for me, Jackie. I’ve always been able to control my feelings for a woman, if need be, but I can’t do that with you.” His right hand caressed her cheek. “I risk burning up every time you touch me, and your kiss…well, I don’t even want to think about that right now. Come on. I want to show you the sports and gymnastics halls and the swimming pool.”

Was she such an open book with this man that she allowed him to know that she wanted more than he gave? He’s a new experience for me, too, and I’d better learn how to deal with him.

He completed the tour and spoke to a man who walked out of the computer room as they approached it. “I noticed that one of the computers is missing, Ron. Order four new ones and keep the computer room locked unless you or one of the volunteers is in the room. Keep a record of who supervises that room and at what times.”

“Right, Warren. I’ll get on it Monday morning.”

“Forgive me. Ms. Parks, this is Ron Hackett, the club’s manager.”

Ron’s quick appraisal was not lost on Warren. Nevertheless, Ron spoke graciously. “I’m glad to meet you Ms. Parks.” She acknowledged the introduction, careful to make it as impersonal as possible.

When they walked outside, darkness surrounded them. “I didn’t realize we’d been there so long,” she said. “What wonderful opportunities you’ve given those children. I feel privileged to be with you.” And she did. She had liked him, indeed she cared for him, but now, she deeply admired him, and she had a sense of humility that, with his numerous options, he chose to spend his time with her.

“When I think of my own good fortune, Jackie, that isn’t so much.”

“Thanks for bringing me here, Warren. You’ve shown me a side of you that I wouldn’t have imagined.” She glanced at her watch. “I’d better get home and change so I can get to work by six.”

He appeared crestfallen. “Yes. Somehow, I forgot about that. In the back of my mind was the idea that you and I were going to have dinner and a leisurely evening together.” He shrugged. “So be it. I’ll drive you home.” He found a parking space a few doors from the building in which she lived. “May I see you to your apartment?”

If she said no, she would miss his kiss, and if she said yes, she risked her doorman greeting her as Dr. Parkton. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. If members of Allegory, Inc. knew that she was a reporter and unit manager for a national magazine, overhearing their conversations, witnessing business deals and the like, she would be fired summarily and probably sued for false representation. As he stared into her eyes, his gaze—hot and hungry—riveted her, and her breath shortened almost to a pant. Without another word, he got out of the car, walked around it, opened the door and held out his hand to her. She took it, and his fingers closed around hers, settling the matter.

When they entered the lobby, she managed not to look in the direction of the uniformed man who always greeted her with such reverence. In the elevator, she wouldn’t look at Warren, until he squeezed her hand. “Look at me, Jackie. You can’t escape what is happening to us. If you go to Japan or Australia, you’ll still feel it.” Suddenly, a smile lit his countenance. “At least we didn’t have to walk up this time.”

She still couldn’t find words. Maybe he could sound lighthearted, but she knew what was happening to her, and it frightened her that this man could so captivate her. As they stepped off the elevator, his arm slid around her.

“Warren, this is…moving too fast.”

He didn’t answer, but when she put her key into the lock, his hand covered hers. He turned the key, opened the door and waited. She walked in, heard the door close behind her, and then she was in his arms. Oh, the sweet feeling of his body tight against hers and of his heat firing her from head to foot. She looked up, and his mouth claimed her, stunning her with the tremors that it sent through her body. His tongue swept the seam of her lips and she opened to him and sucked his tongue deeply inside of her, as her arms gripped his shoulders. He let the wall take his weight, pulled her close and, with a hand at the back of her head, his other one gripping her buttocks and his tongue swirling and dipping in her mouth, he possessed her as no man ever had.

Heat settled in her groin and she tightened her hips in search of relief, but she needed more, much more, all of him. Her nipple hardened and, frenzied, she grabbed the hand that held her head, placed it inside her coat and caressed her breast with it.

He groaned as he rubbed the tortured areola. “I want my mouth on you.”

“Yes. Yes,” she moaned.

In a second, her coat and jacket fell to the floor, and she felt his hand on her naked flesh moments before he bent and sucked her nipples into his moist, warm mouth. “Oh,” she moaned and, in spite of herself, she undulated against him. Tell him to stop, her mind told her. Break it off before it goes too far, her common sense dictated, but she held his hips with one hand and pressed his head to her with her other one. Suddenly, his erection bulged against her belly, and she broke his kiss and leaned her head against his shoulder, unable to move or speak.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed about,” he said, when he couldn’t get her to look at him. “I know you didn’t mean for it to go so far, and I certainly didn’t mean for—”

“It’s all right,” she managed to say. “Considering what was going on, I don’t see how you could have avoided it. I…uh…I’d better get ready for work.”

“I’d take you, but if I do, someone will certainly see you get out of the car. I hate this secrecy, Jackie. I don’t like the idea of having to hide my behavior from anybody.”

She looked at him then. “I have no choice right now, Warren. It’s an honest living, and I need the job.”

“I know. Go on and get ready. I’ll wait here. I can at least see that you get a taxi.”

She didn’t want that, but to have refused would have raised his suspicions. She dressed conservatively, as she usually did, and took comfort in the fact that the doorman would be on his break when she left the building. She decided not to apply the heavy makeup that she wore as a waitress, and put her makeup kit in her handbag. Maybe he wouldn’t notice the difference.

But he did. As soon as she joined him in her living room, he said “You’re so much more beautiful without the makeup you wear at work. Why do you wear it?”

Her shrug was intended to suggest that the makeup was of no consequence. “My job description calls for a glamorous, sexy woman, and specifies that I wear that ridiculous uniform and high-heeled sandals.”

He stared at her with raised eyebrows. “Well, I’ll be damned. I wonder what idiot wrote that. It must have been Hornsby.”

“Whoever he was, I don’t thank him.”

He drove over to Broadway at 66th Street, double parked and hailed a taxi. “I’ll see you later,” he told her. “I’ll have some guests tonight, so when you get a call from me, remember that I won’t be alone.” He kissed her quickly, gave the address to the driver along with a twenty-dollar bill and said to her, “He’s been paid and tipped. Bye for now.”

She made it through the night in what she could best describe as a fog, thankful that she made no blunders and got her work done with a semblance of efficiency. But she couldn’t remember ever having been in such a daze. In every minute, she could feel him and taste him. And when she went into the private lounge to answer his call, she was practically tongue-tied.

“I’d like a round of vodka comets and a selection of hot hors d’oeuvres, please,” he said when she failed to ask what he wanted.

“Yes, of course, sir,” she replied, and left the lounge as quickly as she could without inquiring as to whether he would like anything else.