Tik-Tok of Oz

This speech of Shaggy Man’s was overheard by the Long-Eared Hearer, who was at that moment standing by Ruggedo’s side. For when the King and Guph had recovered from Hank’s kick and had picked themselves up, their first act was to turn Tik-Tok on his back and put a heavy diamond on top of him, so that he could not get up again. Then they carefully put his gun in a corner of the cavern and the King sent Guph to fetch the Long-Eared Hearer.

The Hearer was still angry at Ruggedo for breaking his ear, but he acknowledged the Nome King to be his master and was ready to obey his commands. Therefore he repeated Shaggy’s speech to the King, who at once realized that his Kingdom was in grave danger. For Ruggedo knew of the Love Magnet and its powers and was horrified at the thought that Shaggy might show him the magic talisman and turn all the hatred in his heart into love. Ruggedo was proud of his hatred and abhorred love of any sort.

“Really,” said he, “I’d rather be conquered and lose my wealth and my Kingdom than gaze at that awful Love Magnet. What can I do to prevent the Shaggy Man from taking it out of his pocket?”

Kaliko returned to the cavern in time to overhear this question, and being a loyal nome and eager to serve his King, he answered by saying:

"If we can manage to bind the Shaggy Man’s arms, tight to his body, he could not get the Love Magnet out of his pocket.

“True!” cried the King in delight at this easy solution of the problem. “Get at once a dozen nomes, with ropes, and place them in the passage where they can seize and bind Shaggy as soon as he enters.”

This Kaliko did, and meanwhile the watchers outside the entrance were growing more and more uneasy about their friends.

“I don’t worry so much about the Oogaboo people,” said Polychrome, who had grown sober with waiting, and perhaps a little nervous, “for they could not be killed, even though Ruggedo might cause them much suffering and perhaps destroy them utterly. But we should not have allowed Betsy and Hank to go alone into the caverns. The little girl is mortal and possesses no magic powers whatever, so if Ruggedo captures her she will be wholly at his mercy.”

“That is indeed true,” replied Shaggy. “I wouldn’t like to have anything happen to dear little Betsy, so I believe I’ll go in right away and put an end to all this worry.”

“We may as well go with you,” asserted Files, “for by means of the Love Magnet you can soon bring the Nome King to reason.”

So it was decided to wait no longer. Shaggy walked through the entrance first, and after him came the others. They had no thought of danger to themselves, and Shaggy, who was going along with his hands thrust into his pockets, was much surprised when a rope shot out from the darkness and twined around his body, pinning down his arms so securely that he could not even withdraw his hands from the pockets. Then appeared several grinning nomes, who speedily tied knots in the ropes and then led the prisoner along the passage to the cavern. No attention was paid to the others, but Files and the Princess followed on after Shaggy, determined not to desert their friend and hoping that an opportunity might arise to rescue him.

As for Polychrome, as soon as she saw that trouble had overtaken Shaggy she turned and ran lightly back through the passage and out of the entrance. Then she easily leaped from rock to rock until she paused beside the great dragon, who lay fast asleep.

“Wake up, Quox!” she cried. “It is time for you to act.”

But Quox did not wake up. He lay as one in a trance, absolutely motionless, with his enormous eyes tight closed. The eyelids had big silver scales on them, like all the rest of his body.

Polychrome might have thought Quox was dead had she not known that dragons do not die easily or had she not observed his huge body swelling as he breathed. She picked up a piece of rock and pounded against his eyelids with it, saying:

“Wake up, Quox – wake up!” But he would not waken.

“Dear me, how unfortunate!” sighed the lovely Rainbow’s Daughter. “I wonder what is the best and surest way to waken a dragon. All our friends may be captured and destroyed while this great beast lies asleep.”

She walked around Quox two or three times, trying to discover some tender place on his body where a thump or a punch might be felt; but he lay extended along the rocks with his chin flat upon the ground and his legs drawn underneath his body, and all that one could see was his thick sky-blue skin – thicker than that of a rhinoceros – and his silver scales.

Then, despairing at last of wakening the beast, and worried over the fate of her friends, Polychrome again ran down to the entrance and hurried along the passage into the Nome King’s cavern.

Here she found Ruggedo lolling in his throne and smoking a long pipe. Beside him stood General Guph and Kaliko, and ranged before the King were the Rose Princess, Files and the Shaggy Man. Tik-Tok still lay upon the floor weighted down by the big diamond.

Ruggedo was now in a more contented frame of mind. One by one he had met the invaders and easily captured them. The dreaded Love Magnet was indeed in Shaggy’s pocket, only a few feet away from the King, but Shaggy was powerless to show it and unless Ruggedo’s eyes beheld the talisman it could not affect him. As for Betsy Bobbin and her mule, he believed Kaliko had placed them in the Slimy Cave, while Ann and her officers he thought safely imprisoned in the pit. Ruggedo had no fear of Files or Ozga, but to be on the safe side he had ordered golden handcuffs placed upon their wrists. These did not cause them any great annoyance but prevented them from making an attack, had they been inclined to do so.

The Nome King, thinking himself wholly master of the situation, was laughing and jeering at his prisoners when Polychrome, exquisitely beautiful and dancing like a ray of light, entered the cavern.

“Oho!” cried the King; “a Rainbow under ground, eh?” and then he stared hard at Polychrome, and still harder, and then he sat up and pulled the wrinkles out of his robe and arranged his whiskers. “On my word,” said he, “you are a very captivating creature; moreover, I perceive you are a fairy.”

“I am Polychrome, the Rainbow’s Daughter,” she said proudly.

“Well,” replied Ruggedo, “I like you. The others I hate. I hate everybody – but you! Wouldn’t you like to live always in this beautiful cavern, Polychrome? See! the jewels that stud the walls have every tint and color of your Rainbow – and they are not so elusive. I’ll have fresh dewdrops gathered for your feasting every day and you shall be Queen of all my nomes and pull Kaliko’s nose whenever you like.”

“No, thank you,” laughed Polychrome. “My home is in the sky, and I’m only on a visit to this solid, sordid earth. But tell me, Ruggedo, why my friends have been wound with cords and bound with chains?”

“They threatened me,” answered Ruggedo. “The fools did not know how powerful I am.”

“Then, since they are now helpless, why not release them and send them back to the earth’s surface?”

“Because I hate 'em and mean to make 'em suffer for their invasion. But I’ll make a bargain with you, sweet Polly. Remain here and live with me and I’ll set all these people free. You shall be my daughter or my wife or my aunt or grandmother – whichever you like – only stay here to brighten my gloomy kingdom and make me happy!”

Polychrome looked at him wonderingly. Then she turned to Shaggy and asked:

“Are you sure he hasn’t seen the Love Magnet?”

“I’m positive,” answered Shaggy. “But you seem to be something of a Love Magnet yourself, Polychrome.”

She laughed again and said to Ruggedo: “Not even to rescue my friends would I live in your kingdom. Nor could I endure for long the society of such a wicked monster as you.”

“You forget,” retorted the King, scowling darkly, “that you also are in my power.”

“Not so, Ruggedo. The Rainbow’s Daughter is beyond the reach of your spite or malice.”

“Seize her!” suddenly shouted the King, and General Guph sprang forward to obey. Polychrome stood quite still, yet when Guph attempted to clutch her his hands met in air, and now the Rainbow’s Daughter was in another part of the room, as smiling and composed as before.

Several times Guph endeavored to capture her and Ruggedo even came down from his throne to assist his General; but never could they lay hands upon the lovely sky fairy, who flitted here and there with the swiftness of light and constantly defied them with her merry laughter as she evaded their efforts.

So after a time they abandoned the chase and Ruggedo returned to his throne and wiped the perspiration from his face with a finely-woven handkerchief of cloth-of-gold.

“Well,” said Polychrome, “what do you intend to do now?”

“I’m going to have some fun, to repay me for all my bother,” replied the Nome King. Then he said to Kaliko: “Summon the executioners.”

Kaliko at once withdrew and presently returned with a score of nomes, all of whom were nearly as evil looking as their hated master. They bore great golden pincers, and prods of silver, and clamps and chains and various wicked-looking instruments, all made of precious metals and set with diamonds and rubies.

“Now, Pang,” said Ruggedo, addressing the leader of the executioners, “fetch the Army of Oogaboo and their Queen from the pit and torture them here in my presence – as well as in the presence of their friends. It will be great sport.”

“I hear Your Majesty, and I obey Your Majesty,” answered Pang, and went with his nomes into the passage. In a few minutes he returned and bowed to Ruggedo.

“They’re all gone,” said he.

“Gone!” exclaimed the Nome King. “Gone where?”

“They left no address, Your Majesty; but they are not in the pit.”

“Picks and puddles!” roared the King; “who took the cover off?”

“No one,” said Pang. “The cover was there, but the prisoners were not under it.”

“In that case,” snarled the King, trying to control his disappointment, “go to the Slimy Cave and fetch hither the girl and the donkey. And while we are torturing them Kaliko must take a hundred nomes and search for the escaped prisoners – the Queen of Oogaboo and her officers. If he does not find them, I will torture Kaliko.”

Kaliko went away looking sad and disturbed, for he knew the King was cruel and unjust enough to carry out this threat. Pang and the executioners also went away, in another direction, but when they came back Betsy Bobbin was not with them, nor was Hank.

“There is no one in the Slimy Cave, Your Majesty,” reported Pang.

“Jumping jellycakes!” screamed the King. “Another escape? Are you sure you found the right cave?”

“There is but one Slimy Cave, and there is no one in it,” returned Pang positively.

Ruggedo was beginning to be alarmed as well as angry. However, these disappointments but made him the more vindictive and he cast an evil look at the other prisoners and said:

“Never mind the girl and the donkey. Here are four, at least, who cannot escape my vengeance. Let me see; I believe I’ll change my mind about Tik-Tok. Have the gold crucible heated to a white, seething heat, and then we’ll dump the copper man into it and melt him up.”

“But, Your Majesty,” protested Kaliko, who had returned to the room after sending a hundred nomes to search for the Oogaboo people, “you must remember that Tik-Tok is a very curious and interesting machine. It would be a shame to deprive the world of such a clever contrivance.”

“Say another word, and you’ll go into the furnace with him!” roared the King. “I’m getting tired of you, Kaliko, and the first thing you know I’ll turn you into a potato and make Saratoga-chips of you! The next to consider,” he added more mildly, “is the Shaggy Man. As he owns the Love Magnet, I think I’ll transform him into a dove, and then we can practice shooting at him with Tik-Tok’s gun. Now, this is a very interesting ceremony and I beg you all to watch me closely and see that I’ve nothing up my sleeve.”

He came out of his throne to stand before the Shaggy Man, and then he waved his hands, palms downward, in seven semicircles over his victim’s head, saying in a low but clear tone of voice the magic wugwa:

"Adi, edi, idi, odi, udi, oo-i-oo!  Idu, ido, idi, ide, ida, woo!"

The effect of this well-known sorcery was instantaneous. Instead of the Shaggy Man, a pretty dove lay fluttering upon the floor, its wings confined by tiny cords wound around them. Ruggedo gave an order to Pang, who cut the cords with a pair of scissors. Being freed, the dove quickly flew upward and alighted on the shoulder of the Rose Princess, who stroked it tenderly.

“Very good! Very good!” cried Ruggedo, rubbing his hands gleefully together. “One enemy is out of my way, and now for the others.”

(Perhaps my readers should be warned not to attempt the above transformation; for, although the exact magical formula has been described, it is unlawful in all civilized countries for anyone to transform a person into a dove by muttering the words Ruggedo used. There were no laws to prevent the Nome King from performing this transformation, but if it should be attempted in any other country, and the magic worked, the magician would be severely punished.)

When Polychrome saw Shaggy Man transformed into a dove and realized that Ruggedo was about to do something as dreadful to the Princess and Files, and that Tik-Tok would soon be melted in a crucible, she turned and ran from the cavern, through the passage and back to the place where Quox lay asleep.

CHAPTER 18

A Clever Conquest

THE great dragon still had his eyes closed and was even snoring in a manner that resembled distant thunder; but Polychrome was now desperate, because any further delay meant the destruction of her friends. She seized the pearl necklace, to which was attached the great locket, and jerked it with all her strength.

The result was encouraging. Quox stopped snoring and his eyelids flickered. So Polychrome jerked again – and again – till slowly the great lids raised and the dragon looked at her steadily. Said he, in a sleepy tone:

“What’s the matter, little Rainbow?”

“Come quick!” exclaimed Polychrome. "Ruggedo has captured all our friends and is about to destroy them."

“Well, well,” said Quox, “I suspected that would happen. Step a little out of my path, my dear, and I’ll make a rush for the Nome King’s cavern.”

She fell back a few steps and Quox raised himself on his stout legs, whisked his long tail and in an instant had slid down the rocks and made a dive through the entrance.

Along the passage he swept, nearly filling it with his immense body, and now he poked his head into the jeweled cavern of Ruggedo.

But the King had long since made arrangements to capture the dragon, whenever he might appear. No sooner did Quox stick his head into the room than a thick chain fell from above and encircled his neck. Then the ends of the chain were drawn tight – for in an adjoining cavern a thousand nomes were pulling on them – and so the dragon could advance no further toward the King. He could not use his teeth or his claws and as his body was still in the passage he had not even room to strike his foes with his terrible tail.

Ruggedo was delighted with the success of his strategem. He had just transformed the Rose Princess into a fiddle and was about to transform Files into a fiddle bow, when the dragon appeared to interrupt him. So he called out:

"Welcome, my dear Quox, to my royal entertainment. Since you are here, you shall witness some very neat magic, and after I have finished with Files and Tik-Tok I mean to transform you into a tiny lizard – one of the chameleon sort – and you shall live in my cavern and amuse me."

“Pardon me for contradicting Your Majesty,” returned Quox in a quiet voice, “but I don’t believe you’ll perform any more magic.”

“Eh? Why not?” asked the King in surprise.

“There’s a reason,” said Quox. “Do you see this ribbon around my neck?”

“Yes; and I’m astonished that a dignified dragon should wear such a silly thing.”

“Do you see it plainly?” persisted the dragon, with a little chuckle of amusement.

“I do,” declared Ruggedo.

“Then you no longer possess any magical powers, and are as helpless as a clam,” asserted Quox. “My great master, Tititi-Hoochoo, the Jinjin, enchanted this ribbon in such a way that whenever Your Majesty looked upon it all knowledge of magic would desert you instantly, nor will any magical formula you can remember ever perform your bidding.”

“Pooh! I don’t believe a word of it!” cried Ruggedo, half frightened, nevertheless. Then he turned toward Files and tried to transform him into a fiddle bow. But he could not remember the right words or the right pass of the hands and after several trials he finally gave up the attempt.

By this time the Nome King was so alarmed that he was secretly shaking in his shoes.

“I told you not to anger Tititi-Hoochoo,” grumbled Kaliko, “and now you see the result of your disobedience.”

Ruggedo promptly threw his sceptre at his Royal Chamberlain, who dodged it with his usual cleverness, and then he said with an attempt to swagger:

“Never mind; I don’t need magic to enable me to destroy these invaders; fire and the sword will do the business and I am still King of the Nomes and lord and master of my Underground Kingdom!”

“Again I beg to differ with Your Majesty,” said Quox. “The Great Jinjin commands you to depart instantly from this Kingdom and seek the earth’s surface, where you will wander for all time to come, without a home or country, without a friend or follower, and without any more riches than you can carry with you in your pockets. The Great Jinjin is so generous that he will allow you to fill your pockets with jewels or gold, but you must take nothing more.”

Ruggedo now stared at the dragon in amazement.

“Does Tititi-Hoochoo condemn me to such a fate?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

“He does,” said Quox.

“And just for throwing a few strangers down the Forbidden Tube?”

“Just for that,” repeated Quox in a stern, gruff voice.

“Well, I won’t do it. And your crazy old Jinjin can’t make me do it, either!” declared Ruggedo. “I intend to remain here, King of the Nomes, until the end of the world, and I defy your Tititi-Hoochoo and all his fairies – as well as his clumsy messenger, whom I have been obliged to chain up!”

The dragon smiled again, but it was not the sort of smile that made Ruggedo feel very happy. Instead, there was something so cold and merciless in the dragon’s expression that the condemned Nome King trembled and was sick at heart.

There was little comfort for Ruggedo in the fact that the dragon was now chained, although he had boasted of it. He glared at the immense head of Quox as if fascinated and there was fear in the old King’s eyes as he watched his enemy’s movements.

For the dragon was now moving; not abruptly, but as if he had something to do and was about to do it. Very deliberately he raised one claw, touched the catch of the great jeweled locket that was suspended around his neck, and at once it opened wide.

Nothing much happened at first; half a dozen hen’s eggs rolled out upon the floor and then the locket closed with a sharp click. But the effect upon the nomes of this simple thing was astounding. General Guph, Kaliko, Pang and his band of executioners were all standing close to the door that led to the vast series of underground caverns which constituted the dominions of the nomes, and as soon as they saw the eggs they raised a chorus of frantic screams and rushed through the door, slamming it in Ruggedo’s face and placing a heavy bronze bar across it.

Ruggedo, dancing with terror and uttering loud cries, now leaped upon the seat of his throne to escape the eggs, which had rolled steadily toward him. Perhaps these eggs, sent by the wise and crafty Tititi-Hoochoo, were in some way enchanted, for they all rolled directly after Ruggedo and when they reached the throne where he had taken refuge they began rolling up the legs to the seat.

This was too much for the King to bear. His horror of eggs was real and absolute and he made a leap from the throne to the center of the room and then ran to a far corner.

The eggs followed, rolling slowly but steadily in his direction. Ruggedo threw his sceptre at them, and then his ruby crown, and then he drew off his heavy golden sandals and hurled these at the advancing eggs. But the eggs dodged every missile and continued to draw nearer. The King stood trembling, his eyes staring in terror, until they were but half a yard distant; then with an agile leap he jumped clear over them and made a rush for the passage that led to the outer entrance.

Of course the dragon was in his way, being chained in the passage with his head in the cavern, but when he saw the King making toward him he crouched as low as he could and dropped his chin to the floor, leaving a small space between his body and the roof of the passage.

Ruggedo did not hesitate an instant. Impelled by fear, he leaped to the dragon’s nose and then scrambled to his back, where he succeeded in squeezing himself through the opening. After the head was passed there was more room and he slid along the dragon’s scales to his tail and then ran as fast as his legs would carry him to the entrance. Not pausing here, so great was his fright, the King dashed on down the mountain path, but before he had gone very far he stumbled and fell.

When he picked himself up he observed that no one was following him, and while he recovered his breath he happened to think of the decree of the Jinjin – that he should be driven from his Kingdom and made a wanderer on the face of the earth. Well, here he was, driven from his cavern in truth; driven by those dreadful eggs; but he would go back and defy them; he would not submit to losing his precious Kingdom and his tyrannical powers, all because Tititi-Hoochoo had said he must.

So, although still afraid, Ruggedo nerved himself to creep back along the path to the entrance, and when he arrived there he saw the six eggs lying in a row just before the arched opening.

At first he paused a safe distance away to consider the case, for the eggs were now motionless. While he was wondering what could be done, he remembered there was a magical charm which would destroy eggs and render them harmless to nomes. There were nine passes to be made and six verses of incantation to be recited; but Ruggedo knew them all. Now that he had ample time to be exact, he carefully went through the entire ceremony.

But nothing happened. The eggs did not disappear, as he had expected; so he repeated the charm a second time. When that also failed, he remembered, with a moan of despair, that his magic power had been taken away from him and in the future he could do no more than any common mortal.

And there were the eggs, forever barring him from the Kingdom which he had ruled so long with absolute sway! He threw rocks at them, but could not hit a single egg. He raved and scolded and tore his hair and beard, and danced in helpless passion, but that did nothing to avert the just judgment of the Jinjin, which Ruggedo’s own evil deeds had brought upon him.

From this time on he was an outcast – a wanderer upon the face of the earth – and he had even forgotten to fill his pockets with gold and jewels before he fled from his former Kingdom!

CHAPTER 19

King Kaliko

AFTER the King had made good his escape Files said to the dragon, in a said voice:

“Alas! why did you not come before? Because you were sleeping instead of conquering, the lovely Rose Princess has become a fiddle without a bow, while poor Shaggy sits there a cooing dove!”

“Don’t worry,” replied Quox. “Tititi-Hoochoo knows his business, and I had my orders from the Great Jinjin himself. Bring the fiddle here and touch it lightly to my pink ribbon.”

Files obeyed and at the moment of contact with the ribbon the Nome King’s charm was broken and the Rose Princess herself stood before them as sweet and smiling as ever.

The dove, perched on the back of the throne, had seen and heard all this, so without being told what to do it flew straight to the dragon and alighted on the ribbon. Next instant Shaggy was himself again and Quox said to him grumblingly:

“Please get off my left toe, Shaggy Man, and be more particular where you step.”