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But it wasn’t.
“You okay?”
“Yes,” she said, wishing he hadn’t caught her staring at him. “I was just thinking how I need to build up a network of other parents. I remember when I was young, before my mom met Steven, my stepdad, how alone we were.”
“That’s not going to happen to you,” he said.
“No, it’s not. I always thought when I had a kid I’d be more sensible about the planning. My dad was in special forces and so his job was dangerous…I mean I know they couldn’t have guessed he’d be killed but I just thought, if I was smart about it, then I could do it right.”
“Right?” he asked. “I’m not sure I’m following.”
“Just that I’d find a guy and have kids with him and we’d both raise them. No divorce or risky jobs. That way the kids could grow up in a house where they knew they were loved.”
Cici realized how that sounded. That maybe she’d said too much. “Sorry about that. I think all the food is going to my head. This place is great.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, arching one eyebrow over at her. “It is great. Was that your way of saying you’d had enough of the conversation?”
“Yes,” she said. She didn’t want to think about the fact that her child was going to want to know who their father was at some point. And she’d have to tell them about Rich not wanting to be a part of their life. God, that was going to be hard. When she met with Hoop’s lawyer friend maybe she’d ask if there was a provision they could put in just in case the child wanted to meet him.
“Fair enough,” he said. “What do you want to do now?”
“I think I’m ready to head home,” she said. She had a lot to think about. And she wanted to try to forget the kiss they’d shared. It had been incredible. “The game was a lot of fun. I wish I hadn’t gotten sick.”
“Me too. But that’s to be expected. You seem better now,” he said. “I’m glad. Do you know how long morning sickness lasts? I think with my sister she had it for four months.”
“The book said each expectant mother is different,” Cici said. She’d gone to a few websites as well and her doctor had told her once she relaxed and learned to listen to the changes in her body it would help. “I really hope it ends soon.”
“I bet,” he said. He signaled the waiter for the bill.
She reached for her wallet and he cleared his throat.
“What?”
“I know you are not going to try to pay for lunch,” he said.
“What if I was?” she asked. She always paid her own way. She had already calculated the cost of her portion and the tip.
“It’s a date, Cici. That means lunch is on me.”
“It’s the twenty-first century, Hoop, a woman can pay,” she said, though she knew she was needling him. She thought it was nice when a guy paid after asking her out.
“Well I’m old fashioned that way,” he said.
“What other ways are you old fashioned?” she asked. “You wanted to pick me up at my place. That sort of thing?”
“I guess. Just seems polite to pick you up from your place. You know how I told you I was in trouble a lot as a teenager?”
“Yes.”
“Well I spent a lot of time reading books and I picked up some things that…I don’t know, I guess resonated with the kind of man I wanted to be. You know Mr. Fillion, my pops, influenced me when I got to their house but before that I had to find my own male role model.”
She wanted to find the little boy inside of him and give him a hug. He’d struggled growing up and she reminded herself that she didn’t want her child to have to go through that. “Is that why you volunteer with Big Brother?”
“Partially. We all need to know we have someone to reach out to,” he said, handing his credit card to the waiter.
She waited until the waiter had gone because not everything that was said between them needed a witness. And she liked letting him stew for a few minutes.
“But we can talk more about that on our next date,” he said.
“What makes you think we’ll have a second date?”
“This one went pretty well,” he said, “And you like me.”
He held his hand out to help her from the bench and she shook her head as she followed him out the door. She did like him.
Chapter 5
Three days later and she still hadn’t really heard from Hoop. She’d gone to his offices and met the lawyer he’d recommended and had sort of hoped to see him there. But he hadn’t been. In retrospect she got that. Her legal matter wasn’t something that he should be involved in.
He was giving her space…letting her set the tone of their relationship. He had suggested a second date though.
And…
Nothing.
She had her new routine…work, get sick, worry about how to tell her parents she was pregnant. She knew her stepdad would be disappointed but then she felt like she hadn’t done anything to please him in years.
She rubbed the back of her neck and sat back in her chair. Staring at the screen on her large monitor and hoping for an answer. She wanted to make a decision matrix, though she hadn’t used one since deciding to go in with Iona and Hayley to open the Candied Apple & Cafe.
Her door, which had been shut, but not tightly closed, was nudged open and the jingle of Lucy’s collar alerted her to the fact that Hayley’s rescue dachshund was on the move. She glanced to her left and saw the small dog looking up at her, tail wagging.
“What do you want?” she asked in the singsong voice she always used with kids and pets.
The dog went up on her back legs and motioned with her front paws up and down. Cici shook her head and turned her chair to the little dog who went down on all fours, wagging her tale as she inched closer to Cici’s feet.
Cici picked Lucy up and the dog put her front paws on Cici’s chest, licking her chin. She rubbed her hands up and down the dog’s back, petting her.
If only it were as easy to make people this happy.
Her message app on the computer pinged and she reached around the dog to click on the icon to open it up. Lucy circled three times and then plunked down on Cici’s lap.
The message was a group text from Iona to her and Hayley.
Iona: Lunch, Bryant Park, 30 minutes. No excuses.
Hayley: I need 45 minutes to finish the candy I’m working on.
Cici: I can come early. Lucy is with me. Okay to bring her?
Hayley: So that’s where that little scamp got. She was sleeping in her bed.
Iona: So see you in 30, Cici?
Cici: Yes.
She closed the text app and put her computer in sleep mode before going to collect Lucy’s leash, collapsible water bowl and treats from Hayley.
“I’m so jealous that you are leaving now,” Hayley said. “I need a break.”
“You okay?”
Hayley shrugged. Her blonde hair was now hitting the back of her neck and she’d tucked it behind her ear. “I’m grumpy today.”
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you at lunch. Don’t talk too much until I get there,” Hayley said, hugging her.
“We won’t,” Cici promised.
She left the shop from the back and walked up the alley to Fifth Avenue. She stopped for a minute, tipping her head back to look at the buildings. The walk to Bryant Park from their Fifth Avenue location would take about twenty-five minutes, so she wasn’t in too much of a hurry. She started up Fifth to Madison Square Park. The summery day was warm and being out and walking was doing wonders for her state of mind. She swapped her glasses for prescription sunglasses. Lucy generated a lot of smiles from passersby and the little dog always stopped to allow anyone who showed an interest in her to pet her. At the park, Cici gave her a little bit of water while she drank from the bottle of strawberry infused water she had in her bag.
She took a deep breath. The City smelled…well, like a big city. Here in the park it was fragrant with lush greenery but the underlying smell of industry was in the air as well. She stood there and realized how much time she’d spent worrying over the last few months and that she should let it go.
She needed to stop thinking she could change anything. She never had been able to. She wasn’t going to be the person who made the “right choices” whatever they were, because that wasn’t who she was. She followed her gut and that had sometimes led her into trouble but it had also resulted in some of her best choices. The Candied Apple & Cafe was one. This baby was going to be another one.
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