The Best Kept Secrets...: The Secret Affair

He lowered her to her feet as a smile tugged at his lips. Only for a moment, he gazed down at her shirt, noticing the curve of her breasts beneath the cotton. In an instant, he tugged the shirt over her head and tossed it aside.

He drew in a deep breath when his eyes settled on her chest, specifically her skin-tone colored bra. Eager beyond belief, he touched her breasts through the lace material. When his fingers released the front clasp, causing the twin globes to spring free, the breath was snatched from his lungs.

Mercy. He eased the bra straps from her shoulders to remove it completely from her body and his mouth watered. Her breasts were one area that he hadn’t tasted yet, and he planned on remedying that soon.

Deciding he wanted to see more naked flesh, he lowered to his knees and slid his fingers beneath the elastic waistband of her skirt to ease it down her legs. She stepped out of it and he tossed it aside to join her shirt and bra. His gaze raked the full length of her body, now only covered by a pair of light blue bikini panties. His hands actually trembled when he ran them down her legs. He felt as if he were unveiling a precious treasure.

She stepped out of them as she’d done her skirt and she stood in front of him totally naked. He leaned back on his haunches while his gaze raked her up and down, coming back to her center. He was tempted to start right there, but he knew if he did that, he wouldn’t get to taste her breasts this time, either, and he refused to miss the chance again.

Standing back on his feet, Aidan leaned and lowered his head. He captured a nipple between his lips, loving how the tip hardened in his mouth as his tongue traced circles around the rigid bud. She purred his name as she cradled the back of his head to hold his mouth right there.

He continued to taste her breasts, leaving one and moving to the other, enjoying every single lick and suck. Her moans fueled his desire to possess her. To make love to her. And what he loved more than anything else was the sound of her moaning his name.

Aidan eased his lips from her breasts and moved his mouth slowly downward, tasting her skin. As he crouched, his mouth traced a greedy path over her stomach, loving the way her muscles tightened beneath his lips.

A slow throbbing ache took hold of his erection as he eased down to his knees. This was what he’d gone to bed craving ever since he’d first tasted her between her thighs. He’d fallen asleep several nights licking his lips at the memory. Her feminine scent was unique, so irresistibly Jillian, that his tongue thickened in anticipation.

Knowing she watched him, he ran his hands up and down the insides of her legs, massaged her thighs and caressed the area between them. His name was a whisper on her lips when he slid a finger inside of her. He loved the feel of her juices wetting him. He stroked her.

Hungry for her taste, he withdrew his finger and licked it. He smiled before using his hands to spread her feminine core to ready her for an open-mouth kiss.

* * *

Jillian released a deep, toe-curling moan the moment Aidan latched his hot tongue onto her. She grabbed his head to push him away, but he held tight to her legs while his tongue went deep, thrusting hard. Then she pressed herself toward his mouth.

She closed her eyes and chanted his name as spasms ripped through her, making her thighs tremble. He refused to let go, refused to lift his mouth, as sensations overtook her. Her body throbbed in unexpected places as an orgasm shook her.

When the last spasm speared through her, she felt herself being lifted into strong arms. When she opened her eyes, Aidan was entering her bedroom. He placed her on the bed, leaned down and kissed her, sending rekindled desire spiking through her.

When he ended the kiss and eased off the bed, she watched as he quickly removed his clothes. She could only lie there and admire his nakedness. He was a fine specimen of a man, both in and out of clothes. Just as he’d appeared in her dreams. Thick thighs, muscular legs and a huge erection nested in a patch of thick, curly black hair.

How will I handle that? she asked herself when he pulled a condom packet from his wallet and quickly sheathed himself. He took his time and she figured it was because he knew she was watching his every move with keen interest.

“You have done this before, right?” he asked her.

“What? Put on a condom? No. One wouldn’t fit me.”

He grinned over at her. “Funny. You know what I’m asking.”

Yes, she knew what he was asking. “Um, sort of.”

He lifted a brow. “Sort of?”

She shrugged slightly. “I’m not a virgin, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said softly. “Technically not. But...”

“But what?”

“I was in high school and neither of us knew what we were doing. That was my one and only time.”

He just stood there totally naked staring at her. She wondered why he wasn’t saying anything. What was he thinking? As if he’d read her mind, he slowly moved toward her, placed his knee on the bed and leaned toward her. “What you missed out on before, you will definitely get tonight. And, Jillian?”

She swallowed. He’d spoken with absolute certainty and all she could do was stare back at him. “Yes?”

“This will not be your only time with me.”

Her body reacted to his words and liquid heat traveled through her body. He hadn’t spoken any words of love but he’d let her know this wasn’t a one-time deal with them.

She didn’t have time to dwell on what he’d said. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She closed her eyes and let herself be liquefied by the kiss. Like all the other times he’d used his expertise to make everything around her fade into oblivion, the kiss was the only thing her mind and body could comprehend. His hands were all over her, touching her everywhere. She released a deep moan when she felt his knees spreading her legs.

“Open your eyes and look at me, Jillian.”

She slowly opened her eyes to look up at the man whose body was poised above hers. He lifted her hips and his enlarged sex slid between her wet feminine folds. He thrust forward and her body stretched to accommodate his size. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around him and when he began to move, she did so, as well.

She continued to hold his gaze while he thrust in and out of her. Over and over he would take her to the edge just to snatch her back. Her inner muscles clamped down on him, squeezing and tightening around him.

As she felt new spasms rip through her, he threw his head back and let out a roar that shook the room. She was glad most of her neighbors had gone away for spring break; otherwise they would know what she was doing tonight.

But right now, all she cared about was the man she loved, and how he was making her feel things she’d never felt before.

He kissed her again. Their tongues dueled in another erotic kiss and she couldn’t help but remember the words he’d spoken earlier.

This will not be your only time with me.

She knew men said words they didn’t mean to women they were about to sleep with, and she had no reason to believe it was any different with Aidan.

Besides, considering that she needed to stay focused on her studies, it was a good thing he wasn’t serious.

* * *

Aidan wtched the naked woman sleeping in his arms and let out a frustrated sigh. This was not supposed to happen.

He wasn’t talking about making love because there was no way such a thing could have been avoided. The sexual tension between them had been on overload since the day he’d arrived at her apartment and neither of them could have lasted another day.

What was not supposed to happen was feeling all these unexpected emotions. They had wrapped around his mind and wouldn’t let go. And what bothered him more than anything else was that he knew he was not confusing his emotions with what had definitely been off-the-charts sex. If he hadn’t known before that there was a difference in what he felt for Jillian, he definitely knew it now.

He had fallen in love with her.

When? How? Why? He wasn’t sure. All he knew, without a doubt, was that it had happened. The promise of great sex hadn’t made him take a week’s vacation and travel more than fifteen hundred miles across five states to spend time with her. Sex hadn’t made him become her personal test coach, suffering the pains of being close to her while maintaining boundaries and limits. And sex definitely had nothing to do with the way he felt right now and how it was nearly impossible for him to think straight.

When she purred softly in her sleep and then wiggled her backside snugly against his groin he closed his eyes and groaned. It had been great sex but it had been more than that. She had reached a part of him no woman had reached before.

He’d realized it before they’d made love. He’d known it the minute she told him she’d only made love once before. As far as he was concerned that one time didn’t count because the guy had definitely done a piss-poor job. The only orgasm she’d ever experienced had been with Aidan.

But in the days he’d spent studying with her he’d gotten to know a lot about her. She was a fighter, determined to reach whatever goals she established for herself. And she was thoughtful enough to care that Pam not bear the burden of the cost of sending Jillian to medical school. She was even willing to sell her family home.

And he liked being with her, which posed a problem since they lived more than a thousand miles apart. He’d heard long-distance affairs could sometimes be brutal. But he and Jillian could make it work if they wanted to do so. He knew how he felt about her but he had no idea how she felt about him. As far as he knew, she wasn’t operating on emotion but out of a sense of curiosity. She’d said as much.

However, the biggest problem of all, one he knew would pose the most challenge to the possibility of anything ever developing between them was her insistence on Pam and Dillon not knowing about them.

Aidan didn’t feel the same way and now that he loved her, he really didn’t want to keep it a secret. He knew Dillon well enough to know that if Aidan were to go to his cousin and come clean, tell Dillon Aidan had fallen in love with Jillian, Dillon would be okay with it. Although Aidan couldn’t say with certainty how Pam would feel, he’d always considered her a fair person. He believed she would eventually give her blessing...but only if she thought Jillian was truly in love with him and that he would make Jillian happy.

There were so many unknowns. The one thing he did know was that he and Jillian had to talk. He’d given her fair warning that what they’d shared would not be one and done. There was no way he would allow her to believe that her involvement with him meant nothing, that she was just another woman to him. She was more than that and he wanted her to know it.

She stirred, shifted in bed and then slowly opened her eyes to stare at him. She blinked a few times as if bringing him into focus—or as if she was trying to figure out if he was really here in her bed.

Aidan let her know she wasn’t seeing things. “Good morning.” He gently caressed her cheek before glancing over at the digital clock on her nightstand. “You woke up early. It’s barely six o’clock.”

“A habit I can’t break,” she said, still staring at him. “You didn’t leave.”

“Was I supposed to?”

She shrugged bare shoulders. “I thought that’s the way it worked.”

She had a lot to learn about him. He wouldn’t claim he’d never left a woman’s bed in the middle of the night, but Jillian was different.

“Not for us, Jillian.” He paused. “We need to talk.”

She broke eye contact as she pulled up in bed, holding the covers in place to shield her nakedness. Aidan thought the gesture amusing considering all they’d done last night. “I know what you’re going to say, Aidan. Although I’ve never heard it before, Ivy has and she told me how this plays out.”

She’d made him curious. “And how does it play out?”

“The guy lets the woman know it was just a one-night stand. Nothing personal and definitely nothing serious.”

He hadn’t used that particular line before, but he’d used similar ones. He decided not to tell her that. “You weren’t a one-night stand, Jillian.”

She nodded. “I do recall you mentioning that last night wouldn’t be your only time with me.”

He tightened his arms around her. “And why do you think I said that?”

“Because you’re a man and most men enjoy sex.”

He smiled. “A lot of women enjoy it, as well. Didn’t you?”

“Yes. There’s no need to lie about it. I definitely enjoyed it.”

A grin tugged at Aidan’s lips. His ego appreciated her honesty. “I enjoyed it, as well.” He kissed her, needing the taste of her.

It was a brief kiss and when he lifted his lips from hers, she seemed stunned by what he’d done. He found that strange considering the number of times they had kissed before.

“So, if you don’t want to say last night was a one-night stand, what is it you want to talk about?” she asked.

He decided to be just as honest as she had been, and got straight to the point. “I want to talk about me. And you. Together.”

She raised a brow. “Together?”

“Yes. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Chapter Nine

Jillian was out of the bed in a flash, taking half the blankets with her. She speared Aidan with an angry look. “Are you crazy? You can’t be in love with me. It won’t work, especially when I’m in love with you, too.”

Too late she’d realized what she’d said. From the look on Aidan’s face, he had heard her admission. “If I love you and you love me, Jillian, then what’s the problem?”

She lifted her chin. “The problem is that we can’t be together the way you would want us to be. I was okay with it when it was one-sided and I just loved you and didn’t think you could possibly return the feelings, but now—”

“Hold up,” Aidan said, and her eyes widened when he got off the bed to stand in front of her without a stitch of clothes on. “Let me get this straight. You think it’s okay for me to sleep with you and not be in love with you?”

She tossed her hair back from her face. “Why not? I’m sure it’s done all the time. Men sleep with women they don’t love and vice versa. Are you saying you love every woman you sleep with?”

“No.”

“Okay then.”

“It’s not okay because you’re not any woman. You’re the one that I have fallen in love with.”

Why was he making things difficult? Downright complicated? She had to make him understand. “I could deal with this a lot better if you didn’t love me, mainly because I would have known it wasn’t serious on your end.”

“And that would not have bothered you?”

“Not in the least. I need to stay focused on my studies and I can’t stay focused if I know you feel the same way about me that I feel about you. That only complicates things.”

He stared at her as if he thought she was crazy. In a way she couldn’t very much blame him. Most women would prefer falling in love with a man who loved them, and if things were different she would want that, too. But the time wasn’t right. Men in love made demands. They expected a woman’s time. Her attention. All her energy. And being in love required that a woman give her man what he wanted. Well, she didn’t have the time to do that. She was in medical school. She wanted to be a doctor.

And worse than anything, an Aidan who thought he loved her would cause problems. He wouldn’t want to keep their relationship a secret. He was not a man to be kept in the closet or denied his right to be seen with her. He would want everyone to know they were together and that was something she couldn’t accept.

“I still can’t understand why you think me loving you complicates things,” Aidan said, interrupting her thoughts.

“Because you wouldn’t want to keep our affair a secret. You’ll want to tell everyone. Take me out anyplace you want. You wouldn’t like the thought of us sneaking around.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” He gently pulled her into his arms. She would have pushed him away if he hadn’t at that moment tugged the bedcovers from her hands leaving her as naked as he was. The moment their bodies touched, arousal hit her in the core. She was suddenly reminded of what they’d done last night and how they’d done it. From the way his eyes darkened, she knew he was reliving those same sizzling memories.

“Jillian.”

“Aidan.”

He drew her closer and closed his mouth over hers. She was lost. For a long while, all she could do was stand there feeling his body plastered to hers, feeling his erection pressed against her, feeling the tips of her nipples poking into his chest while he kissed her. Frissons of fire raced up her spine.

And when she felt herself being maneuvered toward the bed, she was too caught up in desire to do anything about it. The same urgency to mate that had taken hold of him had fused itself to her. As soon as her back touched the mattress she slid from beneath him and pushed him back. She had flipped them and was now on top of him. He stared up at her with surprise in his eyes.

She intended to play out one of her fantasies, one of the ways they’d made love in her dreams—with her on top. But first she needed him to know something. “I take the Pill...to regulate my periods. And I’m safe,” she whispered.

“So am I.”

She maneuvered her middle over his engorged shaft, which stood straight up. Every hormone inside her body sizzled as she eased down onto him, taking him inside inch by inch. He was big, but like last night her body stretched to accommodate his size.

“Look at me, Jillian.” Obeying his command, she held his gaze.

“I love you, whether you want me to or not and it’s too late for you to do anything about it.”

She drew in a deep breath and continued to ease him inside of her, not wanting to dwell on the problems love could cause. They would talk again later. But for now, this was what she wanted. This was what she needed. And when she had taken him to the hilt, she moved, riding him the way she’d been taught to ride years ago. From the look reflected in the depths of his eyes, she was giving him a ride he would remember for a long time.

She liked the view from up here. Staring down at him, seeing his expression change each time she shoved downward, taking him deeper. His nostrils flared. His breathing was choppy. Was that a little sweat breaking through on his brow?

Riding him felt good. Exhilarating. He definitely had the perfect body to be ridden. Hard, masculine and solid. She had her knees locked on each side of his strong thighs. Her inner muscles clenched, gripping him in a hold that had him groaning deep in his throat.

She loved the sound. Loved being in control. Loved him. The last thought sent her senses spiraling, and when he shouted her name and bucked his entire body upward, she felt his massive explosion. He drenched her insides with thick semen. And she used her muscles to squeeze out more.

Perspiration soaked her head, her face, their bodies...but she kept on riding. When another explosion hit him, she nearly jerked them both off the bed when she screamed in pleasure.

He held her tight and she held him and she wished she never had to let him go.

* * *

Aidan pushed a damp curl out of Jillian’s eyes. She was sprawled on top of him, breathing deeply. He figured she had earned the right to be exhausted. He’d never experienced anything so invigorating or stimulating in his entire life.

“Don’t ask me not to love you, Jillian,” he finally found the strength to say softly, and the words came straight from his heart. For the first time in his life, he’d told a woman he loved her and the woman wished that he didn’t.

When he felt her tears fall on his arm, he shifted their bodies so he could look at her. “Is me loving you that bad?”

She shook her head. “No. I know it should be what I want but the timing... There is so much I still have to do.”

“And you think I’d stop you from doing them?”

“No, but I’d stop myself. I’d lose focus. You would want to be with me and I would want to be with you. In the open. I know you don’t understand why I can’t do that, but I can’t.”

She was right, he didn’t understand. He believed she was all wrong about how Dillon and Pam, or the entire Westmoreland family, would handle them hooking up. He doubted it would be a big deal. But it didn’t matter what he thought. She thought otherwise and that’s what mattered.

“What if I agree to do what we’re doing now? I mean, keeping things between us a secret.”

She lifted her head. “You would agree to that, Aidan? I’m not talking about a few weeks or a few months. I’m talking about until I finish medical school. Could you really wait that long?”

That was a good question. Could he? Could he be around Jillian at family gatherings and pretend nothing was going on between them? And what about the physical distance between them? She wasn’t even sure what medical school she would attend. Her two top choices were Florida and New Orleans, both hundreds of miles away from Boston, Maine or North Carolina.

And what about his family and friends? Like Adrian, Aidan had quite a reputation around Harvard. What would his friends think when he suddenly stopped pursuing women? They would think he’d lost his ever-loving mind. But he didn’t care what anyone thought.

It didn’t matter. Wherever Jillian was, he would get to her, spend time with her and give her the support she needed to be the doctor she wanted to be.

What Jillian needed now more than anything was for him not to place any pressure on her. Her focus should be on completing the MCAT and not on anything else. Somehow he would handle the distance, he would handle his family and friends and their perceptions.

He held her gaze. “Yes, I can wait. No matter how long it takes, Jillian. Because you’re worth waiting for.”

Then he tugged her mouth down to his for another one of their ultrapassionate, mind-blowing kisses.

Chapter Ten

The present

“This is Captain Stewart Marcellus," a deep voice boomed through the intercom in Jillian’s cabin. “My crew and I would like to welcome you aboard the Princess Grandeur. For the next fourteen days we’ll cruise the Grand Mediterranean for your enjoyment. In an hour we’ll depart Barcelona for full days in Monte Carlo and Florence and two days in Rome. From there we’ll sail to Greece and Turkey. I invite you to join me tonight at the welcome party, which kicks off two weeks of fun.”

Jillian glanced around her cabin. A suite. This was something she definitely hadn’t paid for. She and Paige had planned to share a standard stateroom, definitely nothing as luxurious and spacious as what she’d been given. When she’d contacted the customer service desk to tell them about the mistake, she was told no mistake had been made and the suite was hers to enjoy.

No sooner had she ended the call than she’d received a delivery—a bouquet of beautiful mixed flowers and a bottle of chilled wine with a card that read, “Congratulations on finishing medical school. We are proud of you. Enjoy the cruise. You deserve it. Your family, The Westmorelands.”

Jillian eased down to sit on the side of the bed. Her family. She wondered what the Westmorelands would think if they knew the truth about her and Aidan. About the affair the two of them had carried on right under their noses for three years.

As she stood to shower and get dressed for tonight’s festivities, she couldn’t help remembering what that affair had been like after they’d confessed their love for each other. Aidan had understood and agreed that it was to be their secret. No one else was supposed to know—unless the two of them thought it was absolutely necessary.

The first year had been wonderful, in spite of how hard it had been to engage in a long-distance love affair. Even with Aidan’s busy schedule juggling dual residencies, he’d managed to fly to Laramie whenever he had a free weekend. And because their time together was scarce, he’d make it special. They would go out to dinner, see a movie, or if it was a weekend she needed to study, they would do that, too. There was no way she would have passed the MCAT the first time around without his help. She had applied to various medical schools and when she was notified of her acceptance into the one she wanted in New Orleans, Aidan had been the first person with whom she’d shared her good news. They had celebrated the next time he’d come to Laramie.