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‘You had a lovely job at Red Public Relations. They were nice people. Our kind of people.’
Your kind of people. Not mine. Not any more. ‘Not this again, please. I love nursing.’
‘And I don’t know why you had to move so far away from everyone who loves you.’
Because of conversations like this. ‘I’m just trying to make my own way, Mum. It’s so lovely here; you should come and visit.’
‘I just might.’
Give me three years’ notice to prepare myself mentally. ‘I’ve rented a place with two bedrooms, so come any time. Just give me some advance warning so I can get time off to show you round. We could go to Beatrix Potter’s house; you’d love it.’
‘What about Toby?’
‘What about him? I don’t think he’s interested in Jemima Puddleduck. Far too boring for Toby.’
The terrain had evened out a little now as she got closer to Thor’s house, but her heart was hammering at the exertion. And at the mention of her ex-boyfriend. ‘Please don’t bring him with you.’
Her mother sighed. ‘I’m sure if you came home and talked to him he’d take you back.’
Rose stopped outside the doctor’s house. No car. Which meant they were still out. Good—she’d just leave the food here then head back home. Stupid idea in the first place; God knew why she’d suddenly decided to bring it. Or why they had to talk about her pathetic love life and ruin this lovely evening.
‘Toby dumped me, if you remember. Because I’m not the fun-loving girl I used to be, apparently. Because I decided to do something to give back.’
And mainly—although she hadn’t had the heart to tell her mum this—because he couldn’t cope with the fact that there was still a good chance Rose’s life would be cut short. He didn’t want to back a lame horse when he could marry a perfectly normal woman with all her own body parts and an uncomplicated life expectancy.
‘You could give back in lots of other ways, darling. A little charity work or something.’ She cleared her throat and Rose waited for the Don’t let your one chance slip through your fingers talk. ‘Don’t miss out on your chance with Toby Fletcher just because you’re stubborn. He said he didn’t mind that children were out of the picture.’
‘He didn’t want them in the first place, Mum.’ Rose had been the devastated one when they’d been told that.
‘That’s good then, isn’t it? And he’d look after you, financially at least.’
‘For God’s sake, Mum, he didn’t want me, okay? Besides, are you saying I should marry a man just because he’s rich? Do what he says? Fit in with who he wants me to be? Try to be someone who I’m not?’
‘Rose?’ A man’s voice behind her. Gruff.
‘Oh!’ Her poor heart damned near thumped out of her chest. ‘Joe! You’re home? I didn’t realise. Got to go, Mum. Bye.’ Flicking her phone into her pocket, she turned to meet steady and distinctly unamused blue eyes. ‘No car here…’
His mouth twitched. A little wary. ‘It’s in the garage.’
Of course it was. She looked over at the dark shadow of a building on the left-hand side of the house. There was the garage. A faint smell of petrol in the air. She looked down at the plastic container in her hand and shrugged. Now she just felt stupid, like a kid trying to be teacher’s pet or something. She’d just planned to leave the container and a note and then go back to her cottage, not have an actual conversation.
And now there were tingles again and she was pretty sure her heart should have stopped bumping after he’d made her jump, but it was still rattling away. ‘I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. How is Maxine?’
He shrugged. ‘As I expected. Tired and still very poorly, so we literally just popped our heads round the door for a brief chat and then came home. The doctors are doing more tests but she’s scheduled for a bypass once she’s stable. Katy’s just happy to have seen her.’
‘It’s a long journey; you must be tired.’ Clearly they were all very close.
He nodded. ‘Worth it, though. She said to say thank you and that she owes you a lot.’
‘Seriously, she doesn’t owe me anything. Anyone would have done the same.’
‘Ah, but you get the Maxine tick of approval. That’s usually hard-earned. But you’ll see, if she takes you under her wing you’ll have the whole village eating out of your hand.’
He stood aside and indicated for her to walk into his house. Exhaustion etched his eyes and she ached to press her hand to his face and get him to lean against her. To take some of his stress away. But why? She couldn’t understand what this weird feeling inside her was…unsettled, yet excited.
‘So, did you want something other than to talk outside my window about marrying rich men?’
‘I—er…’ He’d heard? Her stomach twisted into a tight knot. Marrying anyone was the last thing on her bucket list.
‘Don’t, by the way. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not.’ A small smile that tugged at her gut. He was trying to be nice. ‘Just be you.’
‘God, I’m sorry you heard that.’ She was still working out who she was. For her, time was split into before she got sick and after the operation. With a blur of pain and panic and dread, and a zillion promises that if she survived she’d do some good in between. But somewhere along the line she’d lost herself, and it was only now she was finding out what she wanted out of life and who she truly was. Today, it appeared to be blithering idiot with a dash of good neighbour. She held out the still-warm container. ‘I’m just dropping off something for you to eat.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Why?’
‘Because you probably didn’t get the chance to cook anything before you dashed to Lancaster. Unless Mrs Thompson’s cooked for you…but I assumed she’d go with you to see her mum. So, just in case you were all starving, I thought I’d—’
‘There is no Mrs Thompson.’ He cut her off, jaw tightening as he looked at his feet. An awkward silence dropped, heavy and thick, around them.
Oh. What to say now? His abruptness was disconcerting. Was it just with her? It seemed to be. With everyone else he was soft and friendly.
And what the hell had happened to his wife?
‘What’s that?’ The girl from this morning skipped into view, eyes zeroing in on the plastic container. Hair in messy lopsided pigtails and with gaps in her teeth and a very sunny smile, she was adorable. ‘Is that for us? I’m starving. Daddy said we’re not allowed takeaway ’cos it’s unhealthy.’
And Rose could have kissed her for breaking the uncomfortable atmosphere. Joe looked over at his daughter and his whole demeanour transformed: his eyes softened, his hiked-up shoulders dropped. Love for her was stamped in every gaze, every movement.
Rose smiled at the girl. ‘Kale and chicken pasta bake.’
‘What’s kale?’
‘The devil’s work.’ Brighter now, or putting on a show for his daughter, Joe lifted the lid and sniffed. ‘But it smells delicious. It is very late so I was going to do beans on toast, but this is much better. Go get some plates out, Katy. And say thank you to Rose.’
‘Okay, Daddy. Thank you, Rose. You’re nice.’
The kid’s smile tugged at Rose’s heart and she had a sudden urge to run her hand over the top of those messy bunches. Weird. Not something she’d ever wanted to do to a child before. Maybe the fresh air was going to her head?
She followed Joe through to the large kitchen/dining room. ‘Cute kid.’
‘Yes. Too cute for her own good sometimes. Or maybe I’m just a pushover.’
That was the last thing Rose imagined him to be, judging by his general manner. He frowned and leaned a little closer. The air around her filled with a scent that was light and fresh and yet very masculine.
She had to stop herself leaning into it as he whispered, ‘Kale?’
‘It’s healthy if that’s what you mean.’
‘In which case you’ll want to join us?’
Did she?
She looked round at the comfortable farmhouse kitchen. There was warmth here in the scrubbed, well-used pine table, the overflowing toy box, a cushion-filled window seat that, she imagined, looked out over the village. There was a sense of calm, a familiar smoky smell of wood-burning stove and coffee. A sense of family and love. Scuffed skirting boards and the faint bruises of handprints on the walls…the perfect family house.
On an old wooden dresser leaning against one wall stood myriad framed photos of Joe and a small baby—she imagined to be Katy—and a woman who looked like a younger version of Maxine. The same laughing eyes. Same corkscrew curls that made up Katy’s lopsided bunches.
No Mrs Thompson. Rose’s heart began to thud. Because the photos were all from when Katy was little. Not of now. Not of the intervening years. Divorce?
She doubted it. Joe and the woman were staring into each other’s eyes, obviously deeply in love with each other and with their child. Rose’s heart jerked uncomfortably—she wasn’t destined to have that. No children for her…no happy little family.
She had no idea, but she doubted a mother/son-in-law relationship would be so strong after divorce. Toby’s mum had distanced herself from Rose the minute they’d split up…or before…when it became apparent that Rose wasn’t headed on the path they’d all thought she would.
So…did Mrs Thompson die?
That didn’t bear thinking about. A woman so young and clearly full of life and love. And yet it happened, as Rose knew well, through illness or disease or pure bad luck. There was no woman here. No mention of Maxine’s daughter going with them to visit her in hospital.
Rose shivered, a strange panicky sensation prickling over her chest. And a sudden deep sadness.
What the hell was she doing here? Intruding on this family?
She found her voice. ‘No. Thank you. It’s late and I really need to go.’
CHAPTER THREE
THE OFFICIAL FIRST day in her new job wasn’t going well.
‘I’m so sorry; Maisie doesn’t usually act like this.’ Janice, the very red-faced mum, apologised, looking in horror at the mess of plaster and water oozing over the trolley edges and glooping onto the floor. Rose’s four-year-old patient had stopped screaming and was now all but smiling at the chaos she’d created by kicking over the plaster bowl the second Rose attempted to bandage the broken ankle. ‘But she’s in pain and the long wait to be seen didn’t help.’
Dabbing the floor with paper towels, Rose dug deep for a smile. Because she knew how frustrating long waits were and how hard it was to be nice when pain blurred your edges. ‘I’m so sorry for that. The appointment template went down on the computer and it took a while to get sorted out, which meant we had no idea who we were supposed to be seeing next. And in the meantime Maisie’s appointment got moved round.’ She looked at the water dripping from the trolley and tried to wipe it up, but ended up smearing plaster-infused mess over everything instead. ‘And it’s fine; it really is. I’ll just clear this up. Maybe Maisie’s ticklish? Maybe that’s why her leg jerked out. I’ll be careful. No toe touching. I promise, poppet.’
Janice made soothing noises to her daughter but Maisie started to whimper in such a way Rose knew it would turn into a replay of the roar the child had emitted a few times in the waiting room. ‘Okay, new plan. I’ll sort the floor in a minute. Let’s get that leg in plaster first. That should help with the pain.’
‘Thanks.’ Janice nodded and started to walk round the end of the gurney. ‘And I’ll come round that side and hold her good leg down.’
Rose spied a puddle of water that she’d missed on the woman’s path. Damn. ‘Be careful—the floor’s wet—’
‘Whoa!’ Janice jerked forward and disappeared with a thud behind the other side of the gurney. ‘Ouch.’
Things were going from bad to worse. Rose pushed the trolley out of her way with more force than she’d intended, sending it hurtling into the door with a crash, and dashed over to help the woman up. ‘Are you okay? Oh, my goodness. Let me help you.’
‘I’m fine, really. Just a wet bottom.’ She laughed as she rubbed her jeans. ‘Ouch, though. I damaged my ego more than anything else.’
‘It’s always a shock. I’m so sorry.’ The last thing she needed was another casualty.
‘Mummy! It still hurts!’ Maisie’s promised roar was on the up. And Rose’s optimism was taking an uncharacteristic downturn. What had happened to her usual calm? She had a bad feeling she’d left it behind at a certain doctor’s house on the hill.
‘What the heck is going on here?’ Joe stood in the doorway, stethoscope hanging round his neck, frown deep over his eyes.
Just great.
Rose’s heart thrummed. She hoped it was out of embarrassment for the chaos happening in the room, and not for any other reason. But every time she saw him her heart did a funny thing. Maybe she should see her specialist and get checked over? Maybe. Maybe she should just admit she had a sneaky crush on Dr Thor, despite all her reasons not to get involved with anyone…especially a family-orientated one, no matter how good-looking. Or how downright grumpy.
‘It’s my fault. We spilled some water and Janice slipped in it.’
‘I am so sorry this happened. Are you okay?’ He helped Janice into a chair and did a quick triage assessment. As always, his manner with his patients was impeccable.
‘I’m fine, honestly. It’s fine. Just get Maisie’s cast on and we’ll get out of your hair.’
‘Yes, definitely.’ Rose rolled her sleeves up, took the bowl to the sink to fill it with water but felt the pressure of Joe’s gaze on her the whole time. Seemed things were destined never to run smoothly between them, no matter how many times they started over. She turned and gave him a What do you want? glare.
Steely blue eyes glowered back at her. His humourless mouth ground out, ‘Can we talk?’
She nodded curtly towards Maisie. ‘When I’m done here.’
‘When will that be?’
She checked the wall clock. ‘I have a blood pressure check that was due at eleven.’
‘It’s now eleven forty-five.’
‘I am aware of the time, Dr Thompson.’ Trying to soften her voice so as not to alarm her patients, she turned away from them. ‘After that I have a diabetes check and a wound dressing. I’m working as fast as I can.’
His nod was sharp. ‘When you’re free then. Whenever that’s likely to be.’
‘Yes. Of course.’ She felt as if she was supposed to snap her heels together and salute. Sir! Which was exactly what she’d been trying to leave behind. Oh, what had happened to the friendly community practice she’d been promised? Still, she’d only committed for a month to see whether she liked the locum life or whether she needed to retreat to the comfort of home. At this rate, the month could easily turn into a matter of days.
But then, Rose wasn’t a quitter.
She was also not afraid to stand up for herself.
For the next hour she worked hard and efficiently and caught up without rushing her patients. But unfortunately that meant all too soon she had to go and face Joe and no doubt the reprimand he’d been planning.
She found him in his clinic room. In contrast to his lovely home, this space was clinical, bare, apart from a copy of a photo in his house: him, Katy and that pretty woman she assumed was Katy’s mum.
It was entirely his space. Masculine. She ignored the little skip in her heart as she walked into his room and breathed in his scent. Saw the rash of blond hair, strong hands typing hard on the computer. And, for a brief moment, she wondered how they’d feel around her waist, tugging her towards him. Or on her face.
Ridiculous. Her cheeks heated at the thought. This fresh north country air was making her feel strange. Altitude sickness? Did that make you a little crazy? Hormonal? She made a mental note to look it up later in one of her medical books. She swallowed. ‘Er… You wanted to see me?’
‘Rose.’ He swivelled to face her. ‘About earlier—’
‘I know, I know. It was a health and safety issue. The floor was wet—there should have been a sign up.’ She sighed. She’d learnt over the years that it was better to hold her hands up and accept there could be room for improvement—that usually took the wind out of the other person’s sails. She’d so wanted to give a good impression and it was all going wrong. ‘Things have been off all morning.’
His eyebrows rose above those bluest of blue eyes. ‘Usually, Maxine—’
‘Well, she isn’t here and I think everyone’s in a bad mood because of it. I get that, I really do.’ Rose softened her voice. Of course he knew Maxine wasn’t here and how wonderful she was. He was related to her. ‘So, we’re all trying to do our best out there. Beth’s a great stand-in receptionist and she worked hard to get the system up and running as soon as possible but—’
His hand went up. ‘Please, stop. Stop talking.’
‘Oh.’ She clamped her mouth shut, well aware she had a habit of talking rapid-fire when she was embarrassed. ‘Sorry.’
‘I was going to say, usually Maxine has a welcome lunch for our new staff…but I’ve been too snowed under to organise it today and now it’s almost time for the afternoon clinic to start. Can we do it tomorrow?’
‘Oh.’ No telling-off. No stern words. Now it was her turn to have the wind taken out of her sails. He’d wanted to make her welcome. Heat radiated from her, she was sure. ‘I have sandwiches; it’s fine.’
‘No, it isn’t. We try to make our new staff feel at home and I know that hasn’t happened for you. And I was also going to ask you how it’s all going. I think I caught you at a bad moment earlier?’
‘Yes. I don’t usually try to redecorate treatment rooms with plaster-of-Paris…or drum up extra work by injuring patients’ relatives—that’s a first, even for me.’ That drew a very small smile from him. Go on. A little more—smiling is easy. It won’t break your face. ‘I’m getting to know the ropes but I haven’t got a locker or a computer log-on; I’m still using Maxine’s.’
‘Okay. My fault. Human resources is under my jurisdiction. We share the partner load—Dr Jenny, Dr Alex and I—it’s easier if we all take responsibility for one or two things each. So, I’ll sort you out a locker and a log-on. Maxine would usually do it, but leave it with me. I’ll work it out. I’ll just have to get the system to talk to me.’ His mouth twitched up. ‘Judging by this morning’s performance, it could be interesting.’
What was interesting was his smile. Such a rarity, but a thing of beauty when it happened. It made his whole face brighter, smoothing away those shadows under his eyes and lightening the blue pupils to a mesmerising colour, like the sky that first day at the top of the mountain. Dazzling. Clear. Endless.
She dragged her gaze from his, all the better to concentrate. ‘Do computer glitches happen a lot?’
He shook his head. ‘Not for a long time.’
‘So maybe it’s just me then. I’ve jinxed the place, clearly.’ She laughed; it could be true. ‘First Maxine getting sick, then the computers going down and then the water on the floor.’
He laughed too. A deep rumble that had just the faintest smidgeon of joy in it… Then it was gone and she wondered whether she’d imagined it. But he shook his head. ‘I don’t believe in jinxes.’
‘Then perhaps it’s pure bad luck, not a jinx.’
‘I don’t believe in luck either. You do things and they have consequences. Cause and effect.’
‘What about magic, make-believe, romance, coincidence? I like to think things happen for a reason.’ How else could she explain what had happened to her seven years ago? Getting sick had been overwhelming and near fatal, but it had opened her eyes to how shallow her life had been. That experience had been life-changing in so many ways, she refused to believe it was just something dull like simple maths: one plus one equals two.
‘I’m a doctor, Rose. We do science, not romance.’ Joe shook his head again. ‘And fate? No. I don’t believe in that either.’
She sighed; he was a lost cause. ‘You don’t believe in much.’
‘I believe in working hard and making the best of what we’ve got.’
‘Sounds a bit depressing, if you ask me.’
He pushed his chair back from the desk and stood up, sorting through his doctor’s bag, stuffing in a wad of notes. He looked directly at her and his eyes darkened. ‘It’s real, Rose. That’s all.’
Something bad must have happened to him, because surely everyone had a space in their hearts and lives for a little whimsy? Mystique. Fantasy. That was what movies and novels were about, right? Taking you away from the mundane. Escapism—everyone needed that. And to dream big.
‘Sometimes real can be fun too. I refuse to spend the rest of my life just working hard and surviving. Living…that’s where it’s at. Taking notice of things.’
‘Like doing yoga on a mountain…right?’ He smiled at the memory.
‘Absolutely. Why not? Why not throw caution to the wind? Do the unexpected.’
He smiled when he thought of her up there, with her hair wild like Medusa and her skin being nipped by arctic wind? That was unexpected. She hadn’t even realised he’d seen her doing it, and she wasn’t sure she liked the way her body was reacting to that information, with heat and giddiness in her stomach.
Joe’s head tilted a little to the side as he asked, ‘So what have you done that’s unexpected?’
Weird thoughts and sensations when being in the same room as Thor Thompson—did they count? ‘I came here, for a start.’
‘Oh?’
‘I was expected to take a job in London, marry the ex and settle down.’ Thoughts of Toby had irritation skittering down her spine, pouring metaphoric cold water on the adrenalin rush.
‘And you didn’t do any of that because…?’
Yes, why had she left everything she knew? Come here, of all places? Because the village name sounded nice? Because there was something about it that had piqued her interest…? She couldn’t explain it; it just felt…right. Fate, perhaps. The roll of a dice, maybe. Whatever that meant.
Although, judging by the way her body was reacting to Thor, she was starting to wonder whether she’d made a mistake coming here at all. One of the promises she’d made as she’d lain in that hospital bed contemplating her death was that, if she was lucky enough to get a chance at a new life, she would live the kind of life befitting two people—a huge life filled with joy and fun and care for others. Training to be a nurse was the start. Oakdale was the next step. After this, who knew? There was a big world out there. Falling for some guy in a tiny village in her own country wasn’t on her plan. Falling for a guy at all wasn’t. The last thing she wanted was to find someone and then fall sick again.
‘I needed to get out of my comfort zone and challenge myself. Plus, you do a good advert selling the place. You know, you should live a bit more dangerously Dr Joe…try some yoga at the top of your hill as the sun comes up. It’s good for your soul. So is laughing. You need to do it more. A lot more.’
‘Laugh?’ Immediately his smile dropped as if he couldn’t find a single thing to laugh about.
Okay, she knew she’d overstepped. But she wanted to shake him up and make him take notice of the wonderful things he could be doing, feeling, seeing instead of being blinkered by whatever it was that haunted him and stopped him believing in fantasies and dreams.
‘Right. Note to self: smile more. Great.’ He blinked. Shook his head. Taken aback by her words, he started to walk towards the door.
‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘Actually, you’re the first person to call me out on it. Things have been a bit rough these last few years and everyone’s tiptoeing around me. I’ve got used to getting my own way, I suppose, but when you’re deep in it you don’t have the time or energy to drag yourself out.’
There was something about the way he was explaining it to her, so matter of fact and devoid of emotion, that made her want to wrap her arms around him and hold him tight. ‘Sounds like it’s been tough.’
‘And then some. Things got intense…’ He shook his head but smiled. ‘I’m out the other side now.’ He blew out a big breath, as if he’d been holding it for all those years he was talking about. And something shifted in his eyes. Like a cloud edging away from the sun and letting more light in. His shoulders dipped, relaxing as he reached past her to push the door open. ‘Too much information?’