The Testing of a Wizard

LIZY – It’s so good you saved him. But he still has so many obstacles in front of him. I need to help him. He desperately wants to get the MIRACLE.

HERMIT – I’m not sure whether he can get this MIRACLE. But he already has given me a miracle. Peace in my soul – this is a genuine miracle! And he makes me truly happy. Because a real friendship is a miracle!

LIZY – Will you show me where Gelo went?

HERMIT – Not only will I show, but I will guide you through the mountains, so that you won’t get lost. Since you’re very dear to me! You are my friend’s fiancé! But just be careful, in the forest where you will have to go there lives a frightening Cannibal. And I forgot to tell Gelo about him. I hope he will deal with him like a Wizard.

Music plays. Blackout. Curtains.

* * * * *

Scene Three.

Somewhere in the forest there is a dwelling where Cannibal lives. Cannibal sits at the table and bluntly looks at his empty plate. There is a knock at the door. In walks Gelo. Cannibal looks astounded, and then sizes him up.

GELO – Peace to your home good man. The night has caught up with me; I saw a light in your window and decided to check it out. Can I stay a night here?

CANNIBAL – … А-а … of course! Come in my friend. You will be my supper… I mean! … well, my guest!

GELO – Thank you. But I don’t want supper.

CANNIBAL – But I do.

GELO – I can give you some bread, here take some.

CANNIBAL – (Imitates a spit) How disgusting! I would like some meat, lots of it. Don’t you know who I am?

GELO – No, I don’t.

CANNIBAL – (Shocked) Oh my god! Travelers are now simply walking into my house instead of running away with horror. And even offer me bread! For heaven’s sake, I’m a cannibal! I don’t eat wheat!

GELO – Аhh! You’re afraid of putting on weight?

CANNIBAL – (Moaning) I told you, I’m a cannibal! Haven’t you seen cannibals before?

GELO – No, I haven’t.

CANNIBAL – And you’re supposed to be educated, what are they teaching people these days? Where did someone thick like you come from?

GELO - I’m from town.

CANNIBAL - How amusing. It seems to me that the people there are very uneducated and uncultured, unlike here in the forest.

GELO – We do have education in our town, but there are no cannibals. Just don’t get upset…

CANNIBAL – Never mind, I’m used to it by now… In the past it was very different. Love is to blame for everything.

GELO – Love? How can love to be blamed for anything?

CANNIBAL – In the past I was masculine and courageous. The whole population was afraid of me.

GELO – And then what happened?

CANNIBAL – My whole world was turned upside down. I got married.

GELO – So what?

CANNIBAL – She was beautiful, and with beauty comes sacrifices. And I became that sacrifice. At first everything was fine. I could watch her for hours, just eating her with my eyes. And one night I couldn’t control myself and ate her…including sandals… And now I’m suffering.

GELO – (Looking at him with amazement) Yes… what a morbid story. But what’s love got to do with it?

CANNIBAL – Well? If I didn’t love her so much, I would have controlled myself, and wouldn’t suffer so much now. And now if you bring a woman near me, my hair stands on end… And nothing more!

GELO – And I still don’t understand what love has to do with anything you have just mentioned?

CANNIBAL – Nobody understands me! I’m so unhappy. You have to understand me! You see three days ago I was going to eat the passing Blacksmith, and he instead of helping me, he stuck a hammer in my mouth broke two teeth and then ran away. Here has a look. (Opens his mouth and shows him his teeth)

GELO – (Moves away from him) Ok, ok, I can see.

CANNIBAL – It hurt so much. Do you believe me?!

GELO – I believe, believe.

CANNIBAL – Now every time I decide to eat someone, I make sure that they do not have any metal objects on them. By the way do you have any metal objects on you?

GELO – No.

CANNIBAL – That’s very good! That’s wonderful! My life is very hard. Just imagine sometimes there is nobody on the road for a whole week. One could die from starvation. And if there is someone by chance, once they learn who I am they try to escape. Nobody understands me! You won’t run away, will you?

GELO – No I won’t.

CANNIBAL – But why?

GELO – What for?

CANNIBAL – (Joyfully) That’s good! Wonderful! Why?! (Vigilant) Maybe you’re ill? Maybe you’re poisonous?

GELO – No I’m absolutely healthy. But surely, you’re not going to eat me?

CANNIBAL – (Elusive) How should I put it… You see I haven’t eaten anybody for a few days now… You have to understand me! I don’t mean you any malice. Moreover, I sympathize with you. But my life is so miserable. And anyway, it’s not my fault. I was spoiled rotten when I was young. I was allowed to do everything. That’s why I can’t resist anything. Like right now (walks around Gelo) I like you so much. You’re so tempting.

GELO – Listen to me; if you want to eat me, then I’m against it!

CANNIBAL – (Upset) Here we go again! You all think about yourselves, egoists.

GELO – No. I’m actually thinking about people. My teacher, Fadrius the Wizard sent me to get the MIRACLE, to make all people happy, including you. I want to be honest, just, and righteous towards everyone…

CANNIBAL – (Interested and amazed) You’re very strange. You’re young but yet you want to live your life righteously and sinless. Usually, these sorts of ideals come to people when they are either poor or getting old. Don’t you have good health or any wealth to live a normal life?

GELO – What’s money have to do with anything, especially health? In my opinion a normal life consists of helping people out. I will be a Wizard. And my main aim is to make all people happy. But just yet I don’t know how to do this, but I will definitely find out.

CANNIBAL – It is easy to make someone else happy, but it is difficult to remain happy yourself.

GELO – How come?

CANNIBAL – That’s just human nature… And anyway, if you want to be happy you have to have a full belly, and to get this you need to be cunning, clever … and have lots of food!

GELO – It’s hard to talk with you. Look at yourself; you have destroyed everything human in yourself and the dense forest around you. What do you look like?

CANNIBAL – Of course I’m not good-looking; I would like to improve my appearance. But I don’t know how to do this. You said you are a Wizard, maybe you could help me?

GELO – No. I don’t do dismembering.

CANNIBAL – It’s easy to criticize, everybody can do it. But when trying to find some help – there is no one. There are plenty of people, but where are the good ones?

GELO – What do you mean?

CANNIBAL – It’s simple. People are like mushrooms. There are plenty of mushrooms in a forest, and you have to be careful which one to pick. Some people are like poisonous mushrooms, and you can only eat them once.

GELO – And then what?

CANNIBAL – And then you won’t be able to eat anything! You’ll get poisoned and die, very poisonous. I don’t like this sort.

GELO – (Laughing) So you’re telling me all the people around here are poisonous?

CANNIBAL – Not everyone but a lot of them. The world is changing, and not in a positive way. People have become angry, hateful, and greedy among other bad things. And all of this is poison of the soul, and eventually it fills up to the brim. Sometimes one person has so much; you’re scared to touch him, because it could burst and spill all over you, so bad that you can’t wash it away. And you could even get infected.

GELO – But why should you be scared of this?

CANNIBAL – Because I’m very sensitive, easily get hurt and upset. Sometimes you just want to hide your head in the sand from all the troubles in the world…

GELO – And what is stopping you?

CANNIBAL – Uh-huh! Then my backside will be vulnerable. And that’s even more dangerous. That’s why I’m suffering. Of course, if I was rich my life would be easy.

GELO – So who’s standing in your way? Work harder and you’ll get rich.

CANNIBAL – Are you kidding me?! People work hard so that they can have enough to eat, but if you want to get rich you need to do something else.

GELO – Like what?

CANNIBAL – Well, for example the skill to steal. From time to time, I go to the highway with my axe, where merchants travel with goods and sometimes you can get very lucky. But it’s never enough.

GELO – So you’re also a thief! You rob people on the highway at nighttime?!

CANNIBAL – What? do you expect me to do it in broad daylight at a market?!

GELO – Any stealing is bad!

CANNIBAL – If I don’t steal, someone else will. Why should I give up my right to get rich? And anyway, I don’t steal; it’s just compensation for what life has thrown at me.

GELO - All your thoughts are so one dimensional.

CANNIBAL – That’s good. There’s no space in my head for anything else.

GELO – Well, well!

CANNIBAL – Well, you’re judging me of robbing people at the highway; of course, it would be easier to steal from the treasury, less trouble, but a much greater profit. I too would like to become a civil servant or minister.

GELO – Have you gone mad?

CANNIBAL – Is it possible to be a minister, without being mad?

GELO – Listen, I want to share some advice with you.

CANNIBAL - For sure! It’s a known well fact that when people don’t want to share their food or money, they usually give advice instead.

GELO – No, truthfully, I really want to help you, let me try to cure you from cannibalism. Although I’m not a real Wizard yet, I do know some spells. They can cure people from many different diseases, maybe they can help you.

CANNIBAL – What?! Do you expect me to become an ordinary man?!

GELO – Is that a bad thing?

CANNIBAL – Are you having a laugh! If I lived like ordinary man, I would die not seeing old age. Nowadays cannibalism is not a sickness, it’s my nature. It’s the way of surviving in this cruel and cynical world. If I don’t eat somebody, then someone will eat me. I'll cease to be myself. You’re offering me to betray myself! It’s bad enough when others betray you. Nowadays it happens everywhere. But it’s even worse when you betray yourself. You look like a decent young man! How can you suggest such a thing to a poor, lonely Cannibal? You should be ashamed?!

GELO – But I want to help you. I just want to help all the people in the world…

CANNIBAL – If you really want to make all people happy, then make me happy too. For the sake of it I would even let you go to get this MIRACLE. (Sadly, looks to the side) And stay hungry for yet another day! …

GELO – But what do you need to be happy?

CANNIBAL – (Excitedly) It’s very simple. Make sure I have plenty to eat every day, plenty of young and fresh humans.

GELO – (Bewildered) But then all those innocent people will be unhappy!

CANNIBAL – So what? Why should my head hurt because of others? Since their heads don’t hurt because of me!

GELO – No you don’t understand anything. I have to make everybody happy.

CANNIBAL – That means you’re a liar. It is impossible to make everybody happy! How can a man be happy knowing that his next-door neighbour is richer than him? How can a man be joyful knowing that his friend’s wife is better than his own? What feelings must a woman experience knowing that her rival has more expensive jewelry and a more extravagant outfit than her?

GELO – You’re talking about envy. But there are other feelings like kindness, generosity, and unselfishness …

CANNIBAL – I’m talking about, that there will never be enough gold and wealth for everyone in the world. And there will always be those who get less than others. I’m talking about, that not everyone will have beautiful and kind wives. I’m talking about, the demands and requests of women which are endless, but the ability of men to satisfy those demands and requests are limited. I’m talking about, that in life one’s happiness is often built upon another’s unhappiness. I’m talking about, that only one of us can be happy. Either I will be happy, if I eat you or you will be happy if I remain hungry!

Cannibal tries to attack Gelo. Gelo jumps out the way and is quick enough to execute a magic spell.

GELO – Shumbo, Tumbo, Bumbo! Freeze!

Cannibal stops and freezes. Gelo breathes a sigh of relief and looks with sympathy at Cannibal.

GELO – I’m sorry I had to cast a spell on you. I didn’t want to; you brought it upon yourself… But you’re probably right about something. Perhaps you cannot make everybody happy. On my journey I will think about this. But now I have to go and search for the MIRACLE …

CANNIBAL – (Anguishly moans) M-M-M-M …

GELO – Don’t worry, the spell won’t last forever. The spell will wear off when you encounter human kindness. Until then have a think about your unrighteous thoughts and wrong doings. Farewell.

There is a sound of a gong.

Music plays. Blackout.

Cannibals room is the same as it was when Gelo left. Cannibal remains in his position.

Lizy comes in. Walks over to the hourglass and turns it upside down. Some time has passed since Gelo left. She looks around the room and stumbles upon a frozen Cannibal. She touches him with curiosity, and he comes to life. Lizy, who is scared, jumps back.

CANNIBAL – B-r-r-r-r! How awful it is to be under a spell.

LIZY – Excuse me, but I didn’t mean you any harm.

CANNIBAL – You didn’t harm me. By touching me you have broken the spell. I’ve been standing here for a few days, like a stone. All because of my kind and trusting nature.

LIZY – Who upset you?

CANNIBAL – That’s putting it lightly! I’ve been insulted to the core of my soul. There is so much hypocrisy and lies in the world, even I can’t deceive people anymore. Nobody trusts each other anymore. You probably want to deceive me too?

LIZY – Of course not! I never think that way about people.

CANNIBAL – Yeah, I don’t like thinking too much either. One shouldn’t allow himself to be introspective for too long, because one could lose himself in a labyrinth of thoughts… And if you track back, you’ll find that you have lost something valuable, because we are surrounded by thieves and scoundrels. (Walks around Lizy and looks at her strangely) Nowadays it is hard to live for an honest man, like me.

LIZY – Why are you looking at me as if I was naked?!

CANNIBAL – Because I’m hungry!

LIZY – I have some leftovers in my knapsack. (Offering it) Please have some.

CANNIBAL – What’s this filth you’re offering me? And so little of it! If this is food, then I’m a fool!

LIZY – It’s food! Of course, it’s food.

CANNIBAL – Hmm! Let’s not argue.

LIZY – Why are you looking at me so strangely again?

CANNIBAL – You’re such a lovely and mouth-watering girl, so wonderful, you smell so delicious. You must have drunk some rum whilst snacking on onion and garlic?

LIZY – What are you talking about! I don’t drink at all; I only had some stale bread. I spent all day walking in the forest, and I was very afraid. I was told that this forest is very scary because cannibals live here.

CANNIBAL – Why should you be scared of us?!

LIZY – So you’re a real cannibal?!

CANNIBAL – How should I put it… truthfully or as I usually do?

LIZY – Of course truthfully!

CANNIBAL – In that case I’m keeping quiet. As if I didn’t hear the question. It would be better if you told me why you are here in the forest alone?

LIZY – I’m searching for my fiancé. He went on long and dangerous journey, and I followed him so that I could help him, because we love each other very much. Innocently and sincerely.

CANNIBAL – Have you got a big dowry for innocent and sincere love?

LIZY – No. I haven’t got a dowry. Family happiness doesn’t consist of one’s wealth!

CANNIBAL – Possibly. But in family life it is better to suffer in an extravagant palace with gluttony than suffer in a small hut from starvation. If your fiancé has forgotten about you and left, you that means everything is all right with him. Don’t worry about him.

LIZY – He hasn’t forgotten me. He’s a young Wizard to be, and he went to look for the MIRACLE.

CANNIBAL – Ahh! So, your fiancé is the same cheat whom I offered my home to. And in return he cast a spell on me and left me hungry. I’m so mad at him that I’m ready to go find him in your uneducated town. But only when he has found this MIRACLE. What does he need it for? He doesn’t know how to handle it properly anyway. And I could.

LIZY – So Gelo was here?! Tell me where did he go?

CANNIBAL – Where, Where? Why should I know? Probably to the island.

LIZY – Then I have to hurry. Thank you for the hospitality. I shall go.

CANNIBAL – Where are you going?! You want to leave me hungry? No way!

LIZY – I’d liked to make you something nice to eat, but I have to go. I will do it next time. (Quickly gathers her things)

CANNIBAL – I’m getting bored! At first, I was a little hungry. By talking with you I’ve become really hungry. And now i want to wolf you down!

LIZY – How…how do you mean?!

CANNIBAL – That’s how! I will eat you in a rough and perverted way!

LIZY – (Frightened) Oh! Don’t!

CANNIBAL – Don’t what?!

LIZY – You know … rough and perverted…

CANNIBAL – Don’t be afraid, I will do it quickly and it will only hurt a little. At first, I will you eat your right leg, followed by your left one. Then I will gnaw at your little arms. And after that I will finish of the rest.

LIZY – Don’t eat me! I’m against it! … You’re such an interesting man…And such a fascinating talker. Just by talking to you I feel very clever! Please don’t eat me!

CANNIBAL – Let’s not argue. Arguing on an empty stomach gives you a very bad complexion. And anyway, I’m so sensitive, tender, and helpless! That’s why you shouldn’t even bother to try and save yourself!

LIZY – But you can’t eat me!

CANNIBAL – Remember – you can eat anybody! It’s just not always good for your health.

LIZY – You have to understand, I need to catch up with Gelo and help him to find the MIRACLE!

CANNIBAL – You’re still worrying about that! No need. He’s young and healthy enough to find another young girl who will want to help him. You will be easily replaced. Ha Ha Ha!

LIZY – Not true! He will never swap me for anyone. I’m the only one he needs!

CANNIBAL – Naïve silly girl, only I need you, because I’m hungry. So just stay here and wait for me. I will lock the door just in case.

LIZY – What horror!

CANNIBAL – Wonderful, the weather is perfect today. In this kind of weather, you always feel like strangling or robbing someone. That’s why I will go to the highway and stretch myself a bit. And in the morning, I will eat you.

LIZY – I can’t and won’t die!

CANNIBAL – Such nonsense, try to relax. And by the way you might want to clean the house, wash my clothes, and think over the meaning of life and the essence of existence. And you can tell me about it later…if you have time. Don’t miss me!

Cannibal goes out. Lizy sits with her head in her hands for a while not knowing what to do. Then decisively stands up and walk around the room.

LIZY – I can’t sit here doing nothing. I have no right for that. I have to help Gelo. I need to find a way to escape. Cannibal said that Gelo went to the Island. So, I have to be there by any means necessary… There must be at least one way out of this house. It looks like one of these boards has rotted. If I try hard enough maybe I could break it and get to the outside. I need to do this… It’s my obligation to help Gelo… Dear Gelo, I love you so much…

Tries to break a board in a corner of a stage. At last, she succeeds and gets out of the hut.

I’m free! I’m coming to you Gelo! …

Music plays. Blackout. Curtains.

* * * * *

Scene Four.

Riverbank. Here lives The Fisherman and his family. He walks on stage. He walks up to the stage and turns over the hourglass. After that he carefully untangles his nets. After some time, a refreshed Gelo walks on stage. The Fisherman notices him and gives him a warm smile.

FISHERMAN – I’m glad to see you had a good rest.

GELO – Thank you for your hospitality. I haven’t slept like that in a long while. I’ve been travelling for more than a week, and I was quite tired. But now I’m ready to go on my way.

FISHERMAN – Maybe before you leave you could tell me why and where you are going?

GELO – I’m an apprentice of a Wizard, and I’m looking for the MIRACLE. The aim of my journey is to find it and make all the people in the world happy. I want to dedicate my life to it.

FISHERMAN – (Interested) Is that so! What a noble task. But do you know what happiness is?

GELO – (Hesitate and answers non-confidently) I used to think I knew what it meant. But after an encounter in the forest, I now have some doubts. First of all, happiness for me is to fulfil my duty by helping people. And second of all it is love.

FISHERMAN – I can agree on the last one. Without love a person can’t be happy. But about your duty, I think you are trying to hard.

GELO – Why?

FISHERMAN – Take for example me and my family. I’m happy because I have my wife and my children. And I don’t need anything more. You can only be happy when you live in harmony with yourself and the environment. And for that you need to learn to accept this world with joy. You need to learn to be happy with the clean bright sky and the summer rain. Stop fussing about meaningless and worthless matters. If you want to be happy, just be happy. Learn to be happy with life and help out those who are close to you. And happiness will find you.