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© Gleb Karpinsky, 2025
ISBN 978-5-0068-1320-5
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Don’t open it to anyone
Once upon a time there was a girl. Her mother died, and her father worked hard, and the girl was always left alone at home. One day, Dad got ready for the night.
«Don’t open it to anyone. If I come back, I’ll knock three times, «he said, and left.
The little girl cried a little and went to bed. Suddenly, someone gave the door handle a gentle tug. Maybe I imagined it? The girl tiptoed down the hall and peered through the peephole, but it was very dark. Apparently, the light bulb burned out.
«Who’s there?» – What is it? «she asked in a whisper, but no one answered.
The girl went back to bed and tried to sleep, but suddenly there was a knock twice.
«The boys must be playing around,» she thought, when suddenly someone kicked her three times.
«Daddy, Daddy! – the girl was delighted and ran to open it. «My dad’s here!»
«Yes, yes, Dad,» a hiccup sounded outside the door. «Open it quickly.»
But something told her that something was wrong.
«Dad, what’s my name?» «What is it?» she asked at the last moment.
– What?» What are you talking about, Sonya? – they were indignant at the door, and the girl did not open it. After all, her name was Natasha.
Then they began to kick the door open with their shoulders, bang on it, and swear. Fortunately, a neighbor, Uncle Kolya, who was a local drunk and wore only his family’s underwear, but everyone respected him, came out of the stairwell to the noise and crash. She could hear him shuffling his slippers and promising to break someone’s head with a tire iron. Then there was a scuffle, a scuffle, and the sound of broken glass.
«Holy shit! … «suddenly, somewhere in the dark, Uncle Kolya groaned and fell silent.
After a while, something heavy was dragged across the floor, then the garbage chute creaked, and it went down nine flights of stairs, until finally everything was still.
Natasha listened anxiously. The silence frightened her… and in that terrifying silence, she could hear someone breathing heavily outside the door.
The girl froze in fear, afraid to even move. Her nose suddenly tickled horribly, and no matter how hard she tried, she sneezed.
«Be healthy, cow,» came a voice outside the door, and Natasha ran to her room with a wild cry, jumping headfirst under the blanket.
She had nightmares. It was as if zombies had taken over the entire city, and only she, Natasha, and Uncle Kolya were fighting off a tire iron and hiding in an ice cream stand. Then Uncle Kolya began to behave strangely, refusing a chocolate cup, and Natasha realized that he was also bitten. I had to wake up immediately. In addition, the girl was cold and chattering her teeth from the cold. It turned out that someone had entered the apartment through the balcony. The curtains were still swaying mysteriously, and there were traces of dirty shoes on the carpet. The girl felt uneasy. After all, she lived on the last ninth floor.
«Well, you and Sonya,» Dad said from the kitchen. He was smiling, winking a fresh black eye. «How can you sleep so soundly! I’ve been knocking on your door all night, banging on your door, and nearly smashing up the whole house. It’s good that we have adjacent balconies.
«Dad, what’s wrong?» the girl asked incredulously.
«Oh, that,» Dad said, touching his swollen eye. «We had a little argument with Uncle Kolya… He dropped the bottle on me in the dark, the bastard. It’s nothing!
«Nothing? I heard you throw it down the garbage chute!
Dad laughed. «On the contrary, I helped him throw away a bag of missing potatoes later.
«Daddy,» Natasha almost burst into tears, and even though she had a lot of questions in her head, she threw herself into Daddy’s arms with tears in her eyes. – I’m so glad you’re back…»
Who will scare whom the most
Once Natasha and dad argued with each other, who will scare whom more.
«Whoever loses gets to do the dishes,» Dad said, looking for a clean spoon in the kitchen.
Yes, indeed, there were so many dirty dishes that no one wanted to lose. Natasha thought, thought, and didn’t come up with anything special. She waited until midnight, smeared ketchup on her mouth, and walked with her arms outstretched.
«Whoo, where’s my delicious daddy?»
But no one was in Dad’s room. Only the note is there.
«I was stolen by aliens. I won’t be back for a while. Dad.»
Natasha wandered around the empty apartment for a long time, smeared everything everywhere, even under the toilet lid, but never found her dad… The girl was upset. Shouldn’t she have translated ketchup? It was like her dad had disappeared.
«Maybe he really was abducted by aliens.» the girl scratched her head.
Her class teacher once told her about them in the lesson «About important things». They say that these aliens usually arrive at night, and once they dragged her husband right out of bed. True, they returned it later, but in a different way.
Well… there’s nothing to do. Her eyes were already starting to close, and the girl went to bed, when suddenly she hears some rustling under the bed and something like «pee-pee».
«Maybe there are mice?» Natasha thought.
After all, when she eats in the bedroom, she throws all the leftovers under the bed. Dad has long warned that there are not only mice, but also a crocodile will start.
Suddenly someone got quite impudent and began to pull Natasha’s blanket towards them.
«Squeak-squeak, give me the blanket…»
Natasha cried out, indignant.
– I won’t give it back!“ „she’s clinging to it with all her strength, her legs are even braced against it, and she’s puffing. Suddenly released. And silence.
«Ugh! the girl took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from her face. – Here, Dad will buy a mousetrap, then I’ll have you all sing…
As soon as she threatened, her hand came out from under the bed… Natasha screamed with fear, got scared, snatched the hammer out from under the pillow, it always lay there on Uncle Kolya’s advice and bang, bang… on the spread fingers. Yes, so powerfully zvezdanula that all the fingers shattered all over the apartment scattered like splinters. Then the father yelled, who couldn’t think of anything better to do than hide under his daughter’s bed and wait for the right moment to scare her.
«Oh, it hurts, my little fingers… How can I play the guitar without you, my dear ones?
«Dad, you don’t know how to play the guitar!»
«Oh… it still hurts…» and Dad began to gather up his scattered fingers. – One, two, three, four.. where’s my fifth one? Oh, there on the chandelier…
– Dad, you wait for me here, and I’ll bring the green stuff in no time, – the girl finally came to her senses a little and rushed to the kitchen, all in shock, but there is no green stuff in the medicine cabinet…
One valerian and candles for hemorrhoids. We need to run to the night pharmacy! And there is no money, my dad’s salary will be paid only in a month. And Dad groans, groans, counts all his fingers. We need to save Dad!
– Now, Daddy, be patient, my dear, I’ll be right there, – and run to the street, I didn’t even wait for the elevator.
She runs to the drugstore, all out of breath, all smeared in ketchup, and says to the clerk:
«Give me a bottle of green stuff,» and instead of money, he hands me a candy wrapper.
The salesman, an experienced uncle, took this wrapper in silence, turned it over in his hands, checked it for light again…
«Mishka’s in the north,» he says, gives me the change, and hides under the counter.
Meanwhile, Natasha runs into the entrance, holding a bottle of green stuff in her hand above her like a life-saving torch, the elevator is not waiting again, suddenly it gets stuck again, goes up to the ninth floor and on the last breath, and there in the stairwell Uncle Kolya pushes an old chair into the garbage chute. You can’t get past the chair, you can’t get around it. Natasha was thrown through it like a cigaret, and the whole chair immediately turned into a ladder… and Uncle Kolya, too. Yes, fuck him, with Uncle Kolya… the girl is worried, worried about her father, the door is smashed with her forehead, and there she hears someone in the kitchen slurping gulls. A little girl comes in and wonders. Dad is sitting at the table, safe and happy, he has all his fingers in place, only three hands for some reason.
«What are you doing, Dad?» Aliens sewed you a crocodile arm or something?
«A hand?» And this one – " Dad pushes a prosthetic leg away from him and says:
– I was trying on a shirt at the mall the other day. And one mannequin’s arm just fell off. I’ll take it, I think it will come in handy. and bursts out laughing.
«Dad, it’s not funny at all! Natasha stamps her foot. – I’ve been running up stairs at night, worrying about you…»
– Okay. Then run to the bathroom and wash the dishes tomorrow…»
Box
Once a girl named Natasha got a B in Russian. I wrote «zhi-shi» through the letter «s». And it was so insulting that the whole class laughed. And it was all my father’s fault, he made me read psalms in Church Slavonic in the evenings, and that’s where everything is written with «s». She goes home so upset and crying, and to meet her grandfather in a skullcap and slippers on bare feet. And his beard is white and white, like snow in the mountains. Well, just like an old man Khatabych some.
«Why are you crying, devochko? – asks.
«How can I not cry, Grandpa?» I’m in trouble, I’m in trouble. Now Dad won’t buy ice cream.
«Well, what’s the bid?» Grandpa smiles. «Take this box. Here is this trouble so trouble…
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