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Jess opened her eyes and hid a yawn behind her hand. “I have no idea. I swear it took me less time to plan my whole wedding.”
Considering Jess had pulled the New Year’s ceremony together in just short of three days, Rachel had to agree. “If she doesn’t come out soon, I’m going in there.”
Her friend yawned again. “I’m right behind you.”
She wouldn’t be surprised if Jess fell asleep on the way to see about the bride. “You need to tell your husband to lay off and let you get some rest.”
Jess grinned. “Why would I do that when I’m married to a gorgeous, sexy guy like Chase? But seriously, my fatigue has a lot to do with the school year ending in less than two months. Try containing twenty-two second graders who have summer vacation on their minds. It’s a good thing I like kids.”
Rachel liked kids, too. A lot. Yet it didn’t seem to be in the cards for her to have one of her own. As usual, the soul-deep sadness returned, and the nagging tears weren’t far behind.
Fortunately, Savannah emerged from the dressing room, providing a much-appreciated distraction, and a little nip of envy. Rachel had worn a simple Sunday-best white dress on her wedding day, not a formfitting, satin, halter-style gown with a silver beaded sash at the waist. Funny, that hadn’t mattered way back then, so it certainly shouldn’t matter now. For some reason, it did.
Savannah stepped in front of the three-way mirror and twisted her blond hair back at her nape. “So what do you two think?”
Rachel managed a generous smile around the memory barrage of her own simple wedding. “You look dazzling, girlfriend.”
“Sam is going to have a stroke when he sees you in that,” Jess said. “Guess I better brush up on my CPR skills.”
Savannah turned and looked over a shoulder to study her reflection, then frowned. “Are you sure it doesn’t make my hips look too wide?”
Jess rolled her eyes. “What hips? If you want to see a butt, step aside and let me in front of that mirror. We’ll make a comparison.”
“Enough about butts,” Rachel said. “Are we finished with everything here?” She hadn’t meant to sound so cross, but she truly needed to get away from “wedding central.”
Jess checked her watch. “It’s almost six and I’m starving. We should have dinner while we’re in Memphis. They have some fantastic restaurants on Beale Street.”
Rachel only wanted to go home, not wade through the masses out for a good time on a Saturday night. “I’m wearing jeans, which isn’t really appropriate dinner attire. And isn’t your husband expecting you to be back by now?”
“We’re all wearing jeans,” Jess said. “We don’t have to go to a four-star restaurant, and my husband is on deputy duty until seven, not to mention we haven’t been apart since we married. You know what they say about absence and the heart growing fonder.”
“Dinner works for me, since I told Sam we might be late,” Savannah added right when someone’s cell began to ring.
After Rachel and Jess checked their phones, Jess lifted Savannah’s purse from the floor and held it up. “It’s yours. And if that sappy love-song ringtone is any indication, it’s the groom.”
“It is.” Savannah took the cell from Jess, flipped it open and smiled. “Hey, honey. I was just about to call you…I know, I miss you, too… .”
Savannah disappeared back into the dressing room to talk to her fiancé, leaving Jess and Rachel alone to wait it out again.
Rachel wished she’d brought her own car so she could make a speedy exit. Wished she didn’t feel so ready to jump the bridal-party ship. “Let’s hope this conversation doesn’t detain us any longer than necessary.” When Jess didn’t respond, she glanced over to find her looking somewhat pale and slightly alarmed. “Are you okay, Jessica?”
Jess muttered, “No,” slapped her hand over her mouth and rushed into the nearby ladies’ room.
Rachel hated that Jess might be coming down with something, but on the other hand, it could mean the evening would be cut short. She truly wasn’t in the right frame of mind to endure a lengthy dinner. And some friend she was—worrying about her own mental condition when Jessica was obviously in distress. Just as she was about to check on her fellow bridesmaid, Jess came out of the restroom looking as jubilant as she’d been most of the afternoon. Her auburn hair, pulled back in a high ponytail, bobbed in time to her peppy gait. The former head cheerleader had returned.
“Something you ate for lunch?” Rachel asked as soon as Jess reclaimed the seat beside her.
Jess kept her eyes trained on the row of gowns to their left. “It probably has to do with not eating. My stomach doesn’t like being empty these days.”
Funny, they’d had lunch less than five hours ago. Rachel could think of only one explanation for her friend’s intestinal distress. “Are you pregnant?”
Jess still refused to look at her. “What makes you think that?”
She released a frustrated sigh. “Come on, Jessica. You’ve been yawning all day and now you’re throwing up. All signs point to morning sickness.”
Jess looked more than a little sheepish when she finally met Rachel’s gaze. “It’s afternoon.”
“That doesn’t mean a thing. When I was pregnant with Caleb, I hurled morning, noon and sometimes night. So are you or aren’t you?”
“Hungry?”
Heavens, this was like passing a bill through Congress. “Pregnant. Knocked up. With child.”
Jess looked apologetic. “All the above. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, but I didn’t want to upset you.”
Rachel had grown weary of being treated with kid gloves, and she certainly expected more from her friends. “My own loss doesn’t mean I can’t be thrilled for you and Chase. I am happy, Jess. Honestly.” She could only hope she sounded sincere. Yes, she was happy for her friends, and slightly jealous. She absolutely detested her petty feelings and vowed to keep her personal issues in check.
A few moments of awkward silence passed before Rachel went for a subject change. “How does Danny feel about having a new brother or sister?”
“We haven’t told him yet,” Jess said. “He’s been through so much over the past few months. Dealing with causing Dalton’s injuries, Dalton going to prison for trying to kill me, learning Chase is his real dad. Do we sound like a soap opera or what?”
Rachel hated what her brother had put Jess and her son through. A twenty-five-year prison sentence might not be long enough atonement time for Dalton. “High drama or not, that’s a lot for an adult to handle, much less a nine-year-old boy.”
“Yeah, but he’s been working through everything with the counselor. Luckily he loves Chase so much, the transition hasn’t been bad at all.”
Just one more loss Rachel had endured. Learning Danny wasn’t her biological nephew had been tough, but he was much better off with Chase than with her worthless brother. “I’m glad he’s doing so well. I’d love to see him at some point in time.”
“He’s mentioned a few times that he wants to visit Uncle Matt and Aunt Rachel. And speaking of Matt, when are the two of you going to call a truce so you can move back home?”
Her gal pal was nothing if not blunt. “Until he’s willing to talk about our problems and stop drinking, I’m staying right where I am.” Living alone at her father’s guesthouse in a constant state of confusion, crying herself to sleep most nights.
Jess laid a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t wait too long before you work things out. Take it from me, time is a precious resource that once it’s gone, you can’t get back. Just think of all the years I wasted.”
“That’s different,” Rachel said. “Chase was off fighting a war, and you were married to my brother. It wasn’t possible for the two of you to be together during that ten-year span.”
“If I hadn’t stayed in a marriage that was a dead end in the beginning, I wouldn’t have squandered that time.”
The comment threw Rachel. “Are you saying I should divorce Matt?”
Jess looked appalled. “Heavens, no. Dalton was a jerk and Matt is a great guy. I’m saying life’s too short to let pride or fear or stubbornness keep you from being happy. You and Matt have so much invested in your marriage, I know you can work it out if you try.”
Rachel understood what her friend was saying, but lately she hadn’t been at all pleased with her husband’s behavior. She hadn’t been happy with much of anything since the day she lost her child and hadn’t been given the opportunity to say goodbye. Oddly, when the tragedy should have brought them closer together, it had only driven them apart.
Savannah returned once more, fully clothed with her wedding dress bagged and draped over one arm. “Change of plans for the evening regarding dinner.”
“I have to eat soon,” Jess said, sounding borderline desperate. “This baby is determined to be fed on a regular basis.”
Savannah’s eyes went wide. “Jessica!”
Jess waved a dismissive hand at Savannah. “Calm down, Savvy. She figured it out after I tossed my cookies a few minutes ago.”
“Oh.” Savannah sent Rachel a sympathetic look. “Are you all right?”
She wished everyone would stop asking her that. “Yes, I’m fine. Life goes on and I’m excited for Jess and Chase.”
“Good. We were worried.” Savannah dropped her cell into her purse and slid the strap over her shoulder. “Anyway, after we stop by the bakery for the wedding-cake tasting, which shouldn’t take more than an hour or so, we’re going back to Placid. Sam’s making dinner.”
Jess scowled. “What about us?”
“The cake samples should tide you over,” Savannah said. “And Sam is making dinner for all of us.”
Rachel had never known Sam to be much of a cook. “Mac and cheese?”
Savannah grinned. “He says it’s a special dinner in a special place.”
A special place? Rachel didn’t like the sound of that. “Then we’re not going to your house?”
“Who cares where we have dinner, as long as we have it?” Jess came to her feet. “Right now I could eat this chair, so let’s go.”
Rachel stood and followed her friends out the door, a multitude of concerns bouncing around in her brain. Surprises weren’t always good, and her instincts told her that could very well be the case with this one.
* * *
THE GUYS HAD PULLED a fast one. Matt realized that the minute he heard the car doors slam and the sound of feminine voices. So much for a simple fishing trip down at Potter’s Pond.
When Jess and Savannah entered the clearing alone, Matt figured Rachel had bowed out when she’d learned he’d be there. Then he caught sight of her standing beside the old oak tree where they’d met in secret during their youth. She balled her fists at her sides as if she wanted to punch someone, glanced at the beer in his hand and sent him a glare hotter than the fire pit.
She’d obviously been blindsided and probably assumed he’d had a hand in pulling this little shindig together. She was dead wrong, and he planned to set her straight if she didn’t turn tail and run before he had the chance.
Matt came to his feet and waited while the other two couples delivered hello kisses and endearments, the same way he and Rachel used to carry on not all that long ago. Now they remained yards apart, in a virtual standoff that wasn’t lost on their friends.
After a round of uncomfortable quiet, Sam gestured toward the portable table holding all the food. “There’s hot dogs and some wire to roast ’em. You’ll find beer and sodas in the cooler. Help yourselves.”
To Matt, Savannah’s and Jess’s mad rush to the table, with Sam and Chase trailing behind, looked more like the result of discomfort than starvation. Not one of the foursome even sent him or Rachel a passing glance. Served them right. They should’ve known better than to try to play mass matchmakers.
When Rachel failed to move, Matt set his beer on the ground beside the lawn chair and approached her, keeping his distance in case she decided to throw that punch.
Before he could say a word, she clenched her teeth and spoke through them. “Did you have something to do with this?”
Exactly as he’d predicted. “Nope. I was as surprised as you were. Sam invited me to a guys-only fishing trip and said you and the girls were in Memphis. I just figured you’d be there most of the night.”
“You figured wrong.” She wrung her hands like an old-time washer. “One of us should leave, and I think it should be you. Don’t you need to go inoculate a cow? Or maybe that dive on the county line is calling to you?”
That just plain pissed him off, even if she did make a valid point about the bar. But when home was no longer a haven, a man had to do what he had to do. “No, sweetheart, I’m free for the evening. But I wouldn’t mind taking you home.”
“No, thanks, but you can take yourself home.”
With that, she brushed past him and joined the others at the table.
As usual, he couldn’t leave well enough alone. When he walked right up beside her, the others scattered like crows and returned to their seats around the fire.
Rachel’s refusal to look at him spurred his determination to tease a smile out of her. In order to garner her attention, he reached in front of her, speared a hot dog with a wire and held it up. “Could I interest you in a—”
“Don’t say it, Matthew.”
“Hot dog?”
“That’s not what you were going to say.”
So much for that strategy. “Didn’t know you could read my mind.”
“I’m no mind reader, but I know you. You’re an expert at double entendre.”
Time to bring out the big guns—a little soda with a side of seduction.
He moved behind her, rested a palm on her hip and leaned over to withdraw a drink from the cooler set on the end of the table. Then he straightened and touched the can against her neck where her blouse opened right above her breasts. “Here ya go, sweetheart. A nice cold cola to help cool off your temper.”
She took the can and gave him a sugary-sweet smile over one shoulder. “Here’s a news flash. I’ve become immune to your charms.”
She spun around, leaving him holding an unwanted hot dog and the urge to prove her wrong. He left the speared hot dog and went back to his chair that had conveniently been positioned next to Rachel. She didn’t hesitate to pick hers up and move it to the opposite side of the fire pit and him. If their friends hadn’t gotten the hint that this was a bad idea, they’d surely figured it out now.
Sam cleared his throat around the awkward silence and smiled. “This reminds me of old times. Remember when we ran off to Nashville that Sunday for the football game without telling our folks?”
“Who could forget?” Chase said. “We didn’t have the money to buy tickets, so we spent the day in the parking lot, tailgaiting.”
“And Matt was the only one who didn’t get grounded,” Savannah added.
Because his dad hadn’t given a rat’s ass what he did. “We should have all gotten our stories straight and then none of us would have been in trouble.”
Rachel gave him an accusatory stare. “I believe it was Matt who told Chase’s dad we went to the lake right after Chase had told him we were at the fall festival in Yazoo City.”
“Just one of my many shortcomings,” he said. “Do you want to go ahead and recite all of them while you have the chance?”
Jess jumped in quickly like a marriage referee. “Savannah’s diary got us into the most trouble.”
“Sorry,” Savannah muttered. “I had no idea my mother would read it and that she’d have the audacity to call everyone’s parents.”
Sam chuckled. “Best I recall, your dad wasn’t too happy, either. I wasn’t allowed to come over for two weeks, although that didn’t stop me from sneaking into your bedroom.”
Savannah smiled. “No, it didn’t, and we almost got caught then, too.”
“Wasn’t that the first time you two did it?” Jess asked.
Savannah’s cheeks turned red as a robin’s breast. “Yes, I believe it was.”
Sam reached over and patted her thigh. “Took me two years to convince her, but I managed to climb up that old trellis one night and sweet-talk myself right into her bed.”
“It took me five minutes to convince Jess to let me in her bed,” Chase said with a grin.
Jess rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. We didn’t plan that whole dorm-room incident. I just thought you were pokin’ fun.”
Chase leaned over and kissed his wife. “You can’t deny that was some mighty good fun.”
“A little too good,” Jess said. “That’s how we ended up with Danny. But I’m glad we did.”
Matt wasn’t too keen on the current course of conversation. Hopefully they had enough sense not to mention his and Rachel’s first time.
“When was your first time with Rachel?” Chase asked Matt.
Great. Just great. He looked at Rachel, and Rachel looked at him, right before they simultaneously said, “Our wedding night.”
Sam shook his head. “No way. To hear you tell it, Matt, you’d been doing it since the two of you hooked up in the seventh grade.”
That earned him another glare from Rachel. “Not true,” he said. “Whenever you asked, I always said that it’s disrespectful to a lady to kiss and tell.”
“He’s right,” Chase chimed in. “He was always evasive. He just let us assume they were doing it.”
“I think it’s remarkable,” Savannah said. “I can only imagine how special your wedding night was because you waited.”
Rachel shifted in her seat, a sure sign of discomfort. “It seemed like a good idea at the time, but things aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.”
Matt could think of several responses, none of them very nice. He picked the least caustic one. “Sorry I disappointed you, sweetheart.”
Jess shot out of her chair, nearly knocking it over. “I think this hot dog’s done, and after I’ve finished this one I just might have another, since I’m eating for two now.”
That was news to Matt, but Rachel didn’t seem all that shocked by the announcement. She also didn’t seem too pleased, or maybe it was that ever-present sorrow he’d seen in her eyes for a while now. Under different circumstances, he would’ve gone to her, consoled her. But for the past few months she’d made it pretty clear she didn’t want or need his consolation. No reason to think she’d welcome it now.
She did put on her happy face, but she still couldn’t fool him. “How far along are you, Jess?”
Jess returned with a plateful of food and lowered herself into the chair. “Twelve weeks. I suppose you could say this is a honeymoon baby.”
Sam frowned. “You two got married four months ago, not three.”
Chase winked at his wife. “It was a long honeymoon.”
“Yes, it was,” Jess added. “And we wanted to wait to tell everyone, just in case.”
In case something happened with the pregnancy. Matt had been told that problems usually occurred during the first trimester, only his son had been born later in Rachel’s pregnancy. He’d been informed after the fact that having a baby always posed some risk to mother and child if something went wrong, which it had. That was a risk he didn’t care to take again. A risk he wouldn’t take again.
Rachel suddenly stood and rubbed a temple with her fingertips. “I’m sorry to cut the evening short, but I have a headache. Savannah, do you mind taking me home?”
“Not at all.”
Rachel didn’t hesitate before she took off through the trees, heading for the car at a fast clip. Matt rose and brushed past Savannah before she could move. “I’ll handle this,” he called over one shoulder, although he had no idea how he’d handle it. He only knew he had to try.
He found Rachel standing by Savannah’s luxury sedan, arms folded across her middle, her head slightly lowered. He figured she could be crying, but he also knew she’d do her best to hide it from him.
“You okay?” he asked as he approached her.
She swiped at the moisture on her cheeks with her fingertips. “No, I’m not okay. I’m tired and I want to go home.”
He saw an opportunity and grabbed it. “I’ll take you home.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
Stubborn woman. “It’s just a ride. I won’t ask to come in or pressure you into anything. We don’t even have to talk.”
“That wouldn’t be a first.” She lifted her chin and sent him a determined look. “I’d rather have Savannah take me.”
He intended to keep prodding her until she gave in. “No reason to inconvenience her when it’s on my way.”
“I appreciate the offer, but no thanks. If you want to help, then please go back and tell Savannah I’m ready to leave.”
Apparently she wasn’t going to budge, and he decided not to waste his time. He backed away, hands held up in surrender. “Fine. At least you can’t accuse me of not trying to give you what you need, although lately I damn sure don’t know what you need from me.”
“I need…” Her gaze drifted away. “Never mind.”
He did mind, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to beg her to spill it.
Matt turned and headed back to the group, scraping his forearm on a wayward branch on his way back, adding injury to insult. Now he had a cut finger and a chunk of missing flesh. As soon as he appeared in the clearing, the crowd stopped talking and stared at him as if he’d sprouted a second head. “She wants you to take her home, Savannah.”
“Okay,” Savannah said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Jess stood and handed Chase her plate. “I’ll go with her. See you guys later.”
After the girls hurried away, Matt sat back in his chair and took a drink of beer. Hot beer. He emptied the rest onto the ground, crushed the can in his fist and tossed it into the fire. “Looks like your plan to throw me and Rachel together backfired. Hope you’re both proud of yourselves.”
Sam eyed him a long moment. “Man, I didn’t realize things were that bad between the two of you.”
“Yeah, they are.” Real bad. “According to Saint Rachel, I drink too much and I don’t talk enough about my feelings. When I do try to talk to her, she doesn’t give a tinker’s damn about what I have to say. I can’t win for losing.”
“And you’re giving up on working it out, just like that?” Chase asked.
Matt shrugged. “She doesn’t want me near her, so I’m going to give her space. Lots of space.”
“Like I told you earlier today,” Sam began, “you’re traveling down the wrong road if you don’t do something and soon. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”
He’d grown pretty sick and tired of the ongoing war and the advice. “If you’re so damn wise, how do you propose I change her mind?”
Chase forked a hand through his sandy hair. “Be persistent. Use every trick in the book to get her to come around.”
“Seduction usually works well,” Sam added. “Worked wonders for me and Savannah when she came back to town.”
Hard to mount a seduction when Rachel wouldn’t let him within five feet of her. “You can’t seduce an unwilling woman.”
Chase grinned. “You can if you play your cards right. Have you been married so freakin’ long that you don’t remember how to charm the pants off a girl?”
Sometimes he wondered if that could be the case. “I don’t take too kindly to rejection.”
“Here’s what I think you should do,” Sam said. “Give her a while to cool down tonight, then march over to Wainwright’s grand estate and politely convince her to let you in the house. After that, do your best and let nature do the rest.”
Easy for Sam to say. He didn’t run the risk of getting booted out on his ass. “And if she doesn’t let me in?”
“Then try again tomorrow,” Chase said. “Try every day until she finally listens to you. She’s bound to get tired of you hounding her.”
Maybe in a year or so. But his friends were right. He had to keep pushing until they hashed everything out. Otherwise he might never get her back home, and that wouldn’t do. “Fine. I’ll pay her a visit in a half hour or so. But right now I’m going to have another beer.”
Before Matt made it to the cooler, Sam blocked his path. “Didn’t you mention that Rachel thinks you drink too much?”
He could use a little liquid courage if he planned to see this through. “It’s only one beer. I didn’t even finish the last one.”