The Sheikh's Untamed Bride: Lost to the Desert Warrior / Sheikh in the City / Her Ardent Sheikh
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Why didn’t someone else go to her? Where was Nadia?
Her will-power stretched taut, she lasted another five seconds before giving in. If Raz never spoke to her again, so be it. He hardly spoke to her anyway so it wouldn’t be that much of a loss.
As she pushed aside the flap she expected to see Nadia, but the tent was empty apart from the little girl who sat alone in the enormous bed, shuddering and screaming at some imaginary terror. At her feet lay the two Saluki, whimpering and looking at the child in alarm and confusion, as if they sensed a threat but couldn’t identify it.
Mouth dry, Layla stared at the dogs. Nothing but a screaming child could have propelled her forward.
Her heart was kicking at her ribcage—not just because to get to the child meant stepping over fur and teeth, but because the sound of the screaming brought back so many memories of Yasmin, terrified and clinging to her.
She threw one last glance over her shoulder, in case there was someone else who could do this, but there was no sign of Nadia or the bodyguards who were supposed to be in attendance.
Trying to look confident, she stepped over the Saluki as gracefully as a ballerina, braced to feel those sharp teeth close around her ankle.
The dog closest to the bed growled, a menacing rumble low in its throat, but it didn’t move from its position.
Taking that as a good sign, Layla crawled onto the bed and snuggled down with the child, stroking her back and talking to her, hoping desperately that the tone of her voice would do the trick and the child wouldn’t wake and realize that the comfort came from a stranger.
‘There, you’re safe now—and you need to go back to sleep.’ She talked nonsense, and then decided a story might help. ‘Once upon a time...’ She told the same stories she’d told her sister at the same age, remembered them word for word, and the familiarity of the ritual soothed her as well as the child. She talked quietly until the little girl’s breathing suggested she was deeply asleep while all the time the two Saluki lay by the bed, heads on paws, watching her.
Afraid that if she moved she’d wake the child, Layla stayed still, her fingers tangled in the dark curls that belonged to Raz Al Zahki’s daughter. Looking down at that sweet, vulnerable face, now smeared with tears, she felt her heart twist.
What had she been through?
What had she suffered?
She’d stay just a while. Until she was sure the girl was asleep.
Then she’d return to her bed and he wouldn’t be any the wiser.
* * *
The red ball of the dawn sun was rising up behind the mountainous dunes when Raz rode back into the camp two days later. His eyes were gritty from lack of sleep, his head pounding following long days spent in meetings with senior tribal members.
He needed sleep, but nowhere near as much as he needed a swim.
It was still early and everything was quiet and still. No one was stirring.
Having handed over his stallion to one of the waiting grooms, he made straight towards the tent where his daughter slept, noticing with a frown that there was no sign of the guard.
Fear for his daughter fuelled his stride.
Entering quietly, he stood for a moment on the threshold, his eyes adjusting to the dim light, relieved to see the dogs sprawled protectively at the foot of the bed.
The familiar sight of the lump in the bed brought relief rushing down on him—and then he realised that the lump was bigger than usual.
Stepping closer, he saw that there in the bed, with her arms wrapped around his daughter, was Layla.
Shock and surprise were replaced by anger, and then another, darker emotion he didn’t dare examine too closely.
The dogs sensed the change in his mood and growled, and those growls woke the child. Her expression brightened as she saw her father and she sat up sleepily, the movement waking Layla.
Her eyes opened and her gaze met his, blank at first and then alight with consternation.
Sitting up, she clutched at the sheet. ‘We weren’t expecting you so early.’
‘Evidently.’ His tone was silky soft and he saw the colour return to her cheeks as she met his hostile gaze.
‘I’m pleased you’re early.’ Zahra slid out of the bed, paused to hug and kiss the dog closest to her, and ran across to him, arms outstretched. ‘Has Shakira had her foal?’
‘Not yet.’ Raz scooped her into his arms. Her hair brushed against his jaw and he felt his insides knot with love. It was a love that overwhelmed every emotion he’d ever felt. A love that made a strong man vulnerable. And he felt that vulnerability now as he held her and felt those slender arms tighten around his neck.
‘When can we go and see her?’
‘Soon.’ He hugged her protectively, his eyes still on the woman in the bed. ‘Zahra, I want you to play with your toys for a minute while I speak to Layla.’
‘Can’t she stay?’ Zahra was openly disappointed. ‘She hasn’t finished the end of the story. We both fell asleep.’
‘I can finish it later.’ Without meeting his eyes, Layla slid out of the bed.
He saw her hesitate before allowing her feet to touch the ground and saw her hold her breath as she stepped carefully over the dog blocking her path, as if doing so required nerves of steel.
Oblivious to the atmosphere, Zahra smiled at her. ‘When you’ve finished talking, can we play in the sand like yesterday?’
The news that she’d been spending her days with his daughter was the final straw. ‘No, you cannot, because we are going riding.’
‘Together?’
‘Together.’ Touched by her expression of delight, he put her down gently. ‘Play with Isis and Horus for a moment.’
She needed no encouragement to play with the dogs, and they in turn fussed around the child, proving themselves better guards than the people he’d paid to stand over her and keep watch in his absence.
Keeping his anger in check, he left the tent, noticing that one of the guards assigned to watch over his daughter was now standing outside, having no doubt taken a badly timed bathroom break.
Deciding to deal with him later, Raz followed Layla to the edge of the oasis, noticing that she stopped a safe distance from the water’s edge.
‘You deliberately went against my orders.’
‘Yes, I did.’
She turned to face him, her expression calm. She made no excuses. Nor did she apologise and that surprised him.
‘I thought I’d made my wishes clear on this matter.’
‘Would you rather I’d left your daughter to scream, Your Highness?’
The news that Zahra had been screaming again sent ice down the rigid length of his spine. ‘If she was screaming then it would have been better for someone familiar to comfort her. That was your advice.’
‘And I stand by it. But there was no one familiar. She was alone.’
‘My daughter is never alone. She is under twenty-four-hour guard and Nadia is with her at all times.’ Even as he said it he remembered that the guard had not been present when he’d arrived, and her next words confirmed that.
‘She was alone last night. And the night before. And the night before that. There was no guard and there was no Nadia.’ She seemed more annoyed than intimidated. ‘You weren’t here. I made the decision I thought was best, Your Highness.’
‘My name is Raz,’ he said tightly. ‘I think we are now sufficiently well acquainted for you to use it.’
‘Evidently not, since you don’t see me as fit company for your daughter.’
Raz breathed deeply. ‘Nadia is supposed to stay with her at night.’
‘Then no doubt that is something you will wish to explore with her.’
Listening to that calm appraisal, Raz realised just how much he’d underestimated her. He’d mistaken silence for a lack of opinion, and shyness for a lack of forcefulness, but it seemed his new wife had a layer of steel, visible only if someone pressed hard enough. On this she wasn’t budging.
‘Nadia would not have left her alone.’
‘Are you accusing me of lying?’
‘Perhaps it was a simple misunderstanding. Perhaps she went to fetch Zahra a drink or something to eat.’
‘There was no sign of her at any point during the night, nor of the guard. I understand that as her nanny you believe Nadia to be the best person to care for her, but I’m providing you with evidence that she left the child alone. Why would you doubt me?’
‘Because Nadia isn’t Zahra’s nanny. She is her aunt.’ That confession was met by a tense silence.
For a moment she said nothing and simply stared at him. Then her mouth moved and finally words emerged.
‘Her aunt?’
Raz stayed perfectly still. ‘Nadia is my late wife’s sister.’
‘S-sister?’ She stammered the word, visibly shocked. Again she said nothing, and then she shook her head briefly. ‘And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning? You let me turn up here in my wedding dress and you didn’t even warn her or tell me who she was?’
‘When would I have had the opportunity to warn her? We were married only hours after you appeared unannounced at my desert camp. Then we arrived here and she came out of the tent before I had a chance to speak to her privately.’
‘It is no wonder she can barely look at me.’ Her words were barely audible. ‘It explains so much.’
‘It does not explain why she would leave Zahra unattended.’
‘Maybe it does. Maybe...’ She frowned slightly and then stared at the still surface of the oasis. ‘You should have told me. There is so much you should have told me.’
‘Why would I tell you?’
‘You really have to ask me that?’ Her head was turned towards him, pain and accusation in her eyes. ‘Because keeping secrets is doing nothing but harm. I understand that this is hard for you, I understand that you have to make love to me in the dark because touching me makes you think of your wife and that makes you feel guilty, and I understand that you don’t want to be here during the day because it’s like a slap every time you look at me. I understand that, given the way you feel about my family, you are reluctant to trust me with your child. I don’t blame you for that. But it wasn’t Nadia who comforted Zahra in the night, Your Highness. It wasn’t Nadia who read to her and played with her. For the past two days it hasn’t been Nadia who has cared for your daughter. It has been me.’
Raz was stunned into silence by her interpretation of the facts, but before he could respond she took a step closer to him.
‘Do you think I’m not a caring person? Is that what you think?’ Her voice vibrated with tension. ‘Do you think I would have crossed a desert I didn’t know, on a horse I had no idea how to ride, to find a man who hates me, if I weren’t a caring person? Just in case the facts don’t speak for themselves, let me tell you I’m a very caring person—and if you looked at the facts you’d be able to see that. And, yes, I was thinking of my sister and my future, but I also care about the people of Tazkhan. And before you dismiss that, based only on my bloodline, let me remind you that we can choose many things in life, but whom we are related to isn’t one of them. I chose to go to your daughter in the night because I couldn’t sit there and listen to her distress. And I chose to step over those horrible, scary dogs in order to comfort her. So never imply I’m not trustworthy enough to care for you daughter.’
The stillness of the baking desert heat intensified the silence.
Raz stood still, her words stinging as they sank into his flesh. ‘Why do you find the dogs scary?’
‘After everything I just said to you, that is the question you choose to ask?’ She gave a choked laugh—a sound loaded with disbelief—and he frowned.
‘Layla—’
‘No. Enough.’ Her voice was shaky as she backed away from him. ‘This conversation is going nowhere. You don’t want to come anywhere near me and you can’t bear it when I come anywhere near you, so just leave me alone.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
LAYLA PACED THE width of the tent and back again, so upset she didn’t know how to calm herself. Once again she was ripped apart by emotions new to her and she tried desperately to rationalise them.
Why would he trust her? He didn’t know her. Of course he’d be reluctant to allow her near his child—a child whose existence he’d taken great care to keep secret from her family. It was a sign of his love for his child, and she was the last person ever to criticise a father for loving his child.
So why did his attitude towards her hurt so badly?
And why couldn’t she share the same space with him and not think about sex?
Hyped up and unsettled, she picked up a ripe peach from the bowl on the table and then put it down again, knowing that she was already in possession of the answer. And the answer was that it hurt so badly because it felt as if he cared. When his mouth was on hers, when his hands were holding her face and his body was buried deep in hers, it felt as if he cared. And it felt incredible. So incredible she wanted more. And in wanting more she also wanted it to mean something.
The whole thing was turning her brain into a churning mess. She was used to using logic, but the feelings inside her defied logic.
With a murmur of frustration Layla turned and paced back again, trying to filter out the facts, but even the facts were confusing. To be so intimate in bed and so distant out of bed was muddling her brain. In bed, the signals were that he cared. Out of bed, it was clear he considered her on a level with the life forms occupying the bottom of the oasis.
Having admitted that to herself, it horrified her when he strode into the tent and closed the flap between them and the rest of the world.
‘Go away—’ Her voice cracked and she stepped back from him, still reeling from their conversation and feelings that were new to her. She wanted to turn them off and had no idea how. ‘Don’t say anything else. I can’t take any more right now. I got the message. If you really don’t want me near your daughter I won’t go near her, but please make sure that someone does because I can’t lie here listening to her screaming.’
‘And that is very much to your credit.’ His voice was low, his expression guarded as he watched her pace from one end of the tent to the other. ‘I came to tell you that you’re wrong.’
She couldn’t focus.
She couldn’t concentrate on the conversation because she wanted to look at him all the time. Not just because he was a man who naturally commanded attention, or even because he was sensationally good-looking—although that had to play a part—no, it was something so much more personal. It was because he knew her in a way no one had ever known her before. Whenever he was near she felt as if they were being pulled together. She had to fight the impulse to walk up to him and touch him. And because she had no experience of feeling that way she had no idea how to cure herself.
She’d never felt like this before and it was driving her mad. They had huge issues, but all she could think about was the feel of his hands on her and the way it felt to be kissed by him.
Layla pressed her fingers to her forehead, trying to clear her brain, trying to harness her old way of thinking. Trying to push out thoughts she didn’t want in her head. Her stress levels were running into the red, her grip on control so loose she was afraid the whole thing was going to slip from her grasp. She knew the only way to pull herself back together was not to be near him. She needed to be on her own so that she could rebalance herself.
‘I probably am wrong. You know Nadia much better than I do. I don’t have all the facts. If you think she’s the right person to care for your daughter, it’s not my place to disagree with you.’
‘I don’t mean that you’re wrong about Nadia. I mean that you’re wrong about the other things you said.’
She was so aware of him standing there that the whole conversation blurred in her head. ‘What things?’ Was this the ultimate in humiliation? To know a man could do those things to her and feel nothing and yet still her head could be full of nothing but him? Why couldn’t she detach the physical from the emotional as he evidently could?
The intimate atmosphere suffocated her, and the way he was looking at her made her feel as if he’d touched her skin with the flame of a candle.
‘I make love to you in the dark not because I am thinking of my wife, but because you are very shy and I am trying to be sensitive to your feelings. On that first night you would not even remove your robe to show me your bruises, so I assumed you would want to take that side of our relationship very slowly.’
Slowly?
Layla felt as if she were burning up inside. She thought about what they’d shared. Was that slowly? Trembling, she hid her damp palms behind her back. ‘Oh.’
‘You came to me clutching a copy of the Kama Sutra, but you hadn’t even glanced between the pages and clearly had no idea of what lay ahead of you. I decided you might be less self-conscious if you were in darkness.’ He paused to draw breath. ‘I don’t spend time with you during the day, that is true, but it’s because I have a million and one demands on my time—not least the upheaval in Tazkhan. I have spent the past two days meeting with certain members of the council in secret. Hassan has disappeared. That is another reason I am particularly concerned about my daughter’s safety right now.’
Still dealing with the news that he’d been thinking of her feelings, Layla felt her stomach lurch. ‘Hassan has disappeared?’
‘Yes, and until we know his whereabouts I don’t want my daughter left alone.’ He hesitated. ‘Or you. He is a desperate man. Who knows what he could decide to do, given that he now has so little to lose? He has lost any chance of taking your father’s place and he has few, if any, supporters among the people. Speaking of which, I have been learning a great deal of interesting information about you in the past few days.’
‘You have?’
‘I spent some time with the people. I visited hospitals and local schools—including a school where you apparently help out.’
‘I love books and I like to help the children who struggle with reading. The school doesn’t have enough staff to offer that sort of help.’ Layla stammered over the words, horrified that he’d found out with such ease. So much of her life had been conducted with discretion, if not secrecy. ‘Who told you?’
‘Apparently the staff don’t feel the need to keep it a secret any longer as your father is dead and Hassan missing. There is no shortage of people willing to tell me how good you are with the children and what an excellent decision I made in marrying you.’
She stood rigid, thrown by that news. ‘But you don’t think that. I know you don’t. On that first night you left the tent because you felt guilty about what we’d done.’
‘No. I felt guilty because the sex was incredible. I agreed to this marriage because of what it meant for Tazkhan, but what we shared that night went well beyond duty and I couldn’t pretend otherwise.’
Shocked into silence by his honesty, Layla tilted her head and stared up at him, feeling a shift in their relationship. ‘I didn’t know—’
‘That I felt that way? I would have thought it was obvious.’
His dry tone made her blush and the look in his ebony eyes made her stomach flip.
‘Your Highness—’
‘Raz.’
He was standing so close to her she could hardly breathe. She lifted her hand and placed it on his chest, feeling the steady thud of his heart under her fingers. ‘Raz.’ It felt strange to say his name. Strange to be this close to someone.
He cupped her face in his hands. ‘Do you realise that, despite the intimacies we have shared, that is the first time you have spoken my name?’
‘It felt wrong to use your name. You were a stranger.’
There was a prolonged silence. His eyes dropped to her mouth. ‘But I’m not a stranger now.’
His self-assurance was in direct contrast to her own mixed-up, tangled emotions.
‘You hate me.’
‘No. But I admit it’s a complicated situation.’ A wry smile tugged at his sensual mouth. ‘You are a person who likes facts, so I will tell you that the facts in this case are that nothing is going the way I thought it would go when you turned up at my camp that night.’
She wanted to reach up and sink her hands into that glossy dark hair. She wanted to pull his head down to hers and see if his kiss felt as good in daylight as it did in darkness. She wanted to give herself up to the emotion and the confusion and stop trying to rationalise the mess in her head.
‘It’s not going the way I thought it would go, either.’
‘I owe you an apology for ordering you to stay away from my daughter. You should know that I am very overprotective where she is concerned and the past week has been a particularly unsettling time.’
Standing this close to him, it was a struggle for her to concentrate. ‘I would never criticise any father for being overprotective.’
‘Please understand that my reluctance to allow you near her was less about you as an individual and more about my determination to keep life as stable as possible for her. I thought Nadia was the perfect person to care for her. It seems I may have been wrong.’
‘Maybe you weren’t. As you said, there is probably some perfectly reasonable explanation for her absence.’ What right did she have to comment on the behaviour of another person when she didn’t even understand her own?
‘Possibly, but at the current time we are unlikely to find that out.’ There was an edge to his tone. ‘She has gone missing, along with one of my guards. I suspect that when they both should have been with Zahra they were together. We are trying to find them. In the meantime I must thank you for being so incredibly kind to my daughter when she was upset.’
His apology was as unexpected and unsettling as it was touching.
She’d craved distance, but instead she had closeness and a new sense of understanding that simply intensified the feelings inside her.
‘She is very sweet and good-natured. And I love her sense of mischief. She reminds me so much of Yasmin.’
‘The people here have noticed your kindness to her and it has done much to make them warm towards you. What are these stories you’ve been telling Zahra that make her so desperate to go to bed at night?’
‘One Thousand and One Nights. I read them to my sister.’
His eyes glittered. ‘So now you think you are Scheherazade?’
‘Hardly. But I thought if I could relax Zahra before she sleeps she might be less likely to wake.’
‘It was a good plan. Did it work?’
‘It’s too soon to know. I just wish I’d brought the book with me instead of leaving it at the first camp.’
‘That was the other book you brought with you?’
‘Yes. It’s one of my favourites. I decided I could only carry two, because of the weight, so I picked that one.’
His hands were still on her face, his gaze intent on hers. ‘And the Kama Sutra.’
‘It was a matter of priorities.’ She knew her face was hot against his palm. ‘And ignorance.’
‘You have no need to explain yourself to me and no need to feel embarrassed.’ His eyes darkened. ‘These last few days have been a terrible strain for you. The threat of marriage to Hassan, whom you clearly fear and loathe, escaping from the palace, losing your sister in the desert and then being picked up by my men. Marriage to a stranger, a near drowning, and then living with a husband with whom you’ve barely shared a conversation but are expected to undress for.’
Layla tried to smile. ‘When you put it like that, it’s no wonder I’m a little wound up.’
‘A little?’
‘A lot. I’d be a lot better if there was news of Yasmin.’
His hand dropped from her face. ‘So far there is none, but that does not mean you should worry. Salem is renowned for not communicating.’
Remembering the dark, forbidding profile of the man she’d seen only briefly on that first night, Layla found that of little comfort. ‘What if he can’t find her?’ She blurted the words out, seeking reassurance.