Special Deliveries: Wanted: A Mother For His Baby
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* * *
While Bella stared at the baby she’d never held, Blake fought to keep his anger from showing. Drew was at his most adorable, plying her with happy smiles, which offered Blake a chance to scrutinize the twenty-eight-year-old woman who’d been his son’s surrogate.
Lovely. Like a tranquil lake deep in the forest, her beauty was of the peaceful sort. With her dark brown hair and smooth, pale skin, Bella possessed a Midwestern-girl-next-door look. When he and Vicky had first hired her to act as their surrogate, Blake had worried that a big, impersonal city like New York would chew up an Iowa farm girl like Bella and spit her out. But, raised on love and clear values, she had a steel backbone and a practical view of the world.
Her expression was unreadable as she shook Drew’s hand. Didn’t she feel anything at all? She’d carried Drew for nine months. Surely that would forge an unbreakable bond. So what had happened? Why, after assuring him that she would be delighted to be a part of their extended family after Drew was born, had she done an abrupt about-face and walked away without a backward glance? Had it all been lies? Had he been so blinded by joy at his impending fatherhood that he’d let her deceive him into believing she was a loving, nurturing person? It wouldn’t be the first time a woman had fooled him into seeing her as something she wasn’t.
In the days following Drew’s birth, he’d fought to keep his disappointment in Bella’s startling decision from overshadowing his delight at being a father. The whole time she was pregnant she’d talked as if she would like to stay in touch with Drew. Obviously she’d been lying. Bella had seen acting as a surrogate as a means to fast cash. She’d performed a service. Blake didn’t begrudge the money he’d paid her. He and Vicky had been desperate to start a family, and Bella had been instrumental in making that happen. He’d just been so damn stunned that the woman he’d thought he knew had made such a swift and unexpected about-face.
His anger with her for turning her back on Drew was irrational, but it was rooted in childhood hurt. Bella’s abrupt departure reminded him how he felt when he was eight and his own mother had abandoned him and his father to return to her old life in Paris. But at least with his mother, and even with Vicky, there had been warning signs that they lacked a maternal instinct. With Bella, he’d been convinced that she was a caring, nurturing woman.
“He’s very handsome.” She might have been commenting on the weather as she released Drew’s hand and stepped back. “He has your eyes.”
“And Victoria’s iron will.” Blake kept his attention fixed on Drew as he reflected on his ex-wife’s determination to pursue her career instead of being a mother. No amount of reasoning had convinced Vicky that her place was with her son.
Drew leaned away from Blake’s chest, reaching for the ground and babbling insistently. More than anything Drew wanted to be put down so he could explore the unfamiliar place and shove into his mouth whatever he crawled across. He was at that age where it was dangerous to take your eyes off him for a second. Hoping to distract him, Blake pulled out the plastic key ring he’d shoved into his pocket earlier.
Ever since Vicky had walked out on him and Drew, Blake had wondered if Bella would be upset that the child she’d agreed to carry hadn’t ended up in a perfect two-parent home. Then again, it wasn’t as if they’d sold her a bill of goods. He certainly hadn’t suspected that his wife would decide that motherhood didn’t suit her less than a month after her son was born.
“You think so?” Bella watched as Drew threw the keys to the ground and renewed his appeals to be put down. “I think determination is a trait he got from his father.”
“You make it sound like a bad thing,” Blake said. His surly mood wasn’t dissipating. Usually the second he hoisted Drew into his arms, all his cares fell away. But seeing Bella had churned up resentment and mistrust. “It’s how I keep profits climbing in double digit percentages for Wilcox Investments.”
“Of course.”
Her dry smile needled Blake. Damn. He’d missed her sunny nature and optimism. Her bright mind and Midwestern take on things. While his wife found his business dealings deadly dull, Bella had been happy to listen and quick with questions when she didn’t understand something.
He’d thought of her as a younger sister. A friend.
Her abrupt departure from his son’s life had been unexpected and unsettling. They’d often discussed what would happen after Drew was born. She’d been excited to stay in touch with Drew, to return to New York City to visit him.
He’d appreciated that she intended to be part of his son’s extended family because the closer Bella got to delivering Drew, the more worried Blake had become about Victoria’s desire to be a mother. About the time Bella was starting her third trimester, Vicky had gotten a part in an off-Broadway show and started spending less and less time at home, reawakening the anxiety Blake recalled from the months preceding his mother’s move to Paris.
He and Vicky had begun to argue over her priorities. After Drew was born it got worse. She wasn’t acting like Drew’s mother; rather, she was a stranger who rarely ventured into his nursery. She complained that Blake put too much pressure on her. That his expectations were too much for her to bear. Brief, heated discussions soon led to long, heavy silences. Their marriage was unraveling.
Was it any surprise that she’d ended up having an affair with the show’s producer, Gregory Marshall?
Blake’s cell phone rang. “Here.” He handed Drew to Bella and fished it out of his pocket. While he spoke with his assistant, he watched for some hint of emotion in Bella’s face.
She tensed as Drew leaned forward and put his palms on her mouth. They stared deep into each other’s eyes while Blake looked on. He wasn’t sure if Bella was even breathing. Was she finally feeling something? Getting her to connect with Drew was why he’d approached her about being Drew’s nanny. Now that Vicky had walked away from their family, he was damned if he was going to let his son grow up not knowing the woman who’d given him life, too.
“I need to get back to the office,” he told Bella, gesturing with the phone toward the limo. “If you wouldn’t mind putting him in his car seat.”
“Sure.”
She headed for the car, moving with a graceful stride that snagged his attention. The pregnancy weight was gone. She was back to the slim, delicate creature she’d been when he’d first met her at the fertility clinic.
She smiled at the driver when he opened the door for her. The car seat was on the opposite side of the vehicle and she had to maneuver to buckle Drew in. She chose to keep one foot on the sidewalk while the top half of her was swallowed up by the limo.
Blake raked his fingers through his hair. She had no idea what a charming picture she presented, her rear end wiggling as she fastened Drew into his safety seat. Abruptly, amusement became something much more compelling. He sucked in a hard breath, besieged by the desire to wrap his fingers around her hips and press up against her delicious curves.
Where the hell had that come from?
“Blake? What do you want me to tell Don?” His assistant’s question made Blake realize he had no idea what she was talking about.
“I have to call you back.” He hung up on her as the heat surging through his veins showed no signs of abating.
The feeling was as unwelcome as it was unexpected. Not once had he felt the slightest hint of lust toward the young woman while she’d acted as Drew’s surrogate. He’d been married, committed to his wife, and it wasn’t in his nature to cheat either physically or mentally. Bella had been for all intents and purposes an employee. They’d been friends. Nothing more.
But his marriage vows no longer stood between them and the attraction was an unexpected complication. He strode toward the car, his nerve endings tingling as he drew within touching distance of Bella.
“He’s all secure.” She backed away from the car, her hands clasped before her. Did she sense the riotous impulses that had surged to life in him, or was she just eager to get away from him and his request?
“Thank you.” He gripped the car door, anchoring himself against the compulsion to brush a strand of hair off her cheek. “Having you take care of him this summer will be good for both of us.”
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea, Blake.”
Although she had refused his offer, Blake heard less conviction in her voice this time and sensed that Drew had already charmed her into agreeing to join them in the Hamptons.
“It’s a wonderful idea. Take the night and think it over.” He blasted her with his most engaging smile. “Do you still have my number?”
Lightning flashed in her eyes. The color of much-washed denim. They’d transfixed him from the start.
“Yes,” she retorted, her voice gruff.
“Good. If you don’t call me by nine tomorrow morning, I’ll be forced to track you down again.”
“Fine. I’ll think about it.” It wasn’t enthusiastic agreement, but it wasn’t a firm refusal either.
“Wonderful.”
Despite his need to get going or risk running late for a meeting, Blake’s gaze lingered on Bella until she entered St. Vincent’s. For the first time since Vicky had abandoned their marriage, he was ready to move his personal life forward. Seeing Bella again reminded him how satisfying his situation had been a year ago. He’d been happily married and anticipating the birth of his son. And then Vicky had left and he was back to feeling incomplete. These past few months he’d known what would make his world whole again. All he needed was the right mother for Drew.
Today, he’d found her.
Two
Still shaken by her encounter with Blake and Drew, Bella let herself into the apartment she shared with Deidre and set a bag of groceries on the kitchen counter. The small two-bedroom was on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, not far from Central Park. Although the unit rented for a little over two thousand a month, because Bella’s room was barely big enough for her double bed, her share was only eight hundred. It was a nice deal for her.
The location was a quick walk across Central Park to the school where she and Deidre worked and the low cost enabled her to send money home to her parents and still retain enough for herself. To have some fun. To build a small nest egg. Whatever she wanted.
Financial security was a luxury she’d never known growing up, and the cash cushion she now enjoyed filled her with a sense of power and confidence.
“There you are.” Deidre appeared in the doorway to her room, her bright blond curls a wild tangle. She wore workout clothes and her skin had a light sheen of perspiration. “I wondered what happened to you. I’m almost done with my weights routine if you want to head to the park for some cardio.”
“A run sounds good.” Before stopping at the market to pick up the ingredients for dinner, Bella had taken the long way through the park, hoping the walk would clear her head. The exercise hadn’t been strenuous enough. She was no more decisive now than when Blake’s limo had pulled away from the curb.
Growing up with a houseful of siblings, the only way she got any peace was to disappear into the cornfields and make her way to the dirt path that led from their farm to the county road. In the winter the snow drifted in the fields, making it harder to escape her seven brothers and sisters, so she usually just sneaked into the barn and hid in the haymow.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Deidre said, reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water. “Did one of your students go into hysterics because it was the last day of school today and they couldn’t bear to be parted from you for a whole summer?”
“What?” Bella shook her head at Deidre’s question. “No. Nothing like that.”
“I’m surprised. You are everyone’s favorite teacher, you know.”
“That’s sweet, but we had no repeat of last year’s drama.” Warmed by her roommate’s praise, Bella smiled. “I made sure I prepared them better this year.”
“So what’s up?”
“Blake came by the school today.” Although she hadn’t told her roommate everything that had transpired regarding the surrogacy, Bella had appreciated Deidre’s sensible take on her mixed feelings about giving up Drew.
“Blake?” Deidre’s concern reflected in her expression and her voice. “How did that go?”
“A lot better than you would expect, given how angry he was with me last fall.”
“What did he want?”
“He wants me to be Drew’s nanny for the summer.”
Deidre looked appalled. “His nanny? He has a lot of nerve.”
Some of Bella’s anxiety eased in the face of her friend’s fierceness. It was nice to have someone to support her for a change instead of always being the one people leaned on. “He doesn’t have any idea how hard it was for me to give up Drew.”
The cozy apartment fell away as Bella got lost in the memory of holding Drew. Beneath his soft skin, he was strong like his father. As she’d buckled him into his car seat, she’d inhaled his wonderful baby scent, so like her siblings’ when they were little, and yet all his own. It had whipped her emotions into a muddled stew.
As much as she loved helping to raise her brothers and sisters, she’d lost her childhood to changing diapers, calming temper tantrums, making lunches and helping with homework. Her mother couldn’t have kept up on her own. Plus there was always something around the farm that demanded Stella McAndrews’s attention.
Bella knew she was a lot like her mother. A nurturer. Taking care of people was almost a compulsion. But it had left her little time or energy for herself and in the middle of her sophomore year in high school, she recognized the burning in her gut as resentment. She felt trapped by her siblings’ neediness and began questioning her parents’ decision to have eight children.
Soon, the farm, the small nearby town where they attended school, even her friends—their dreams no bigger than the rural community they lived in—began to feel like a prison she had to escape.
But to do so, she needed to make plans and promises. She would focus on doing well in high school so she could get into college. Majoring in education was a logical choice. She’d grown up teaching her siblings and felt a sense of accomplishment when they did well in school.
She loved college and with each step toward graduation her future looked brighter. Between her course load and work, her time was still not her own, but now she was calling the shots and making all the decisions. It was a heady feeling. One she wasn’t ready to surrender to a boyfriend. So she didn’t date much. If something looked like it was getting serious, she broke it off. She liked her freedom and wasn’t willing to give it up.
“He’s beautiful.” Bella summoned the energy for a weak smile. “Perfect.”
“Blake?” Deidre looked puzzled.
Bella shook her head. “Drew.”
“You saw him, too?”
“I did more than that.” Her throat seized. “I held him.”
Deidre made a disgusted noise. “So what was Blake’s reaction when you told him no about the nanny job?”
“What do you think?” Bella winced at Deidre’s disapproving scowl.
“He badgered you to say yes.”
“Badgered is a little strong. He just didn’t take no for an answer.”
“Are you sure you really told him no?”
“I did.”
“No hesitations?”
“Of course not.”
Bella and Deidre might have started as roommates a year and a half ago, but as the months passed, they’d become good friends. Bella liked living in New York City, but once in a while the distance between her and that crowded farmhouse in Iowa felt farther than a thousand miles. She appreciated having someone to come home to. To cook for and to share the couch with. A friend she could confide in over a bottle of wine. For all her longing to be free, Bella couldn’t deny she hated being alone.
“Not even when you picture that gorgeous mansion on the beach?” Deidre persisted.
Bella sighed in appreciation. “You know me too well. Okay, I’ll admit the thought of a summer in the Hamptons is very tempting.”
Deidre dug Bella’s running shoes from under the bed while she changed. “So what are you going to do?”
“I really should turn him down.”
“You really should. But are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
“I promised Lisa I’d help with her events this summer.”
“And you always keep your promises.”
Bella thought about her bargain with Blake’s ex-wife. Accepting the job as Drew’s nanny wouldn’t technically be breaking her promise to Victoria because their divorce meant the reason Bella had agreed to stay away no longer existed. Her presence in their life couldn’t be considered a distraction to the tight family Victoria had hoped to have with Blake and Drew.
But staying out of Victoria’s way hadn’t been the only reason she’d cut off all contact. Bella had begun feeling things that ran contrary to what she’d determined for her life, and the conflict had disturbed her.
“I’ll call Blake as soon as we’re back from our run and tell him I can’t be Drew’s nanny.”
“Why not now?”
“Because I need to plan what to say or he might just talk me into it.”
* * *
As the limo eased toward the curb in front of his stepsister’s building, Blake gathered up the baby and his bright blue diaper bag. Slinging it over his shoulder, lips quirking as he contemplated how becoming a parent had domesticated him, Blake strode into Jeanne’s building, nodding at the doorman as he passed.
“You’re late,” his stepsister announced when he stepped off the elevator. She raised her arms in welcome as she advanced to take her nephew. Murmuring in soothing tones, she plucked Drew out of Blake’s arms and cuddled him. “I’ve been worried.”
“I had to make a slight detour.” Blake smiled when Drew latched onto Jeanne’s chunky gold necklace and blinked sleepily up at her.
“Well, you’re here now and just in time to hear my wonderful news.” Jeanne’s gaze cut to her stepbrother. “We’re going to be neighbors this summer. Isn’t that great? Now you don’t need to worry about a nanny for Drew. I can take care of him until Talia gets back on her feet.”
“You found a rental this close to summer?”
“Connie and Gideon are getting divorced and they can’t agree on who gets the beach house, so they’re letting Peter and me lease it. We’ll be living two doors away. It’ll be such great fun. Of course, Peter will only come up on the weekends, but I’m planning on spending as much time as I can at the beach. Isn’t it wonderful?”
“Wonderful,” Blake echoed, his voice flat. He hadn’t yet shared his summer plans with Jeanne because he was certain she wouldn’t approve. “But you don’t need to watch Drew this summer. I found someone to fill in as his nanny.”
“Oh.” Jeanne looked disappointed. Two months ago she’d found out she was having a baby and her maternal instincts had kicked into high gear. “I was hoping to spend the summer with my nephew. I hope the woman comes from a reputable agency.”
“I didn’t use an agency.” Blake decided to deliver his news without preamble. “I asked Bella.”
“Oh, Blake, no.”
He ignored Jeanne’s dismay. “You knew that she’s been working at St. Vincent’s this past year, didn’t you?”
Jeanne had been the one who’d gotten Bella a job at the prestigious school a year ago last fall. It was her husband’s alma mater and the endowment they gave to the school each year gave them a certain pull when it came to asking favors.
“Yes,” his stepsister admitted with an exaggerated sigh.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Wasn’t it you who said she didn’t want to have anything to do with Drew?” Jeanne hadn’t liked Bella, but she’d never explained why. “Why would you want to bother with her?”
Because he hadn’t been completely satisfied with Bella’s explanation for why she wanted to sever all contact. Because for reasons he couldn’t rationalize, something unfinished lay between them.
“I need a nanny for Drew for a couple months until Talia’s broken leg heals.” This was what had prompted him to start looking for Bella. But it turned out that wasn’t his only reason for tracking her down.
Jeanne’s brow creased. “Let me help you hire someone.”
Why couldn’t she understand that he didn’t want just anyone? “I’m leaving for the Hamptons in two days. I don’t have time to interview a bunch of candidates. I know Bella. I trust her with Drew.”
“Do you think that’s wise?”
“Not only did she help raise her brothers and sisters, but she’s a kindergarten teacher. Who could be better?”
“I don’t think this is a good plan, Blake.” Jeanne carried the sleeping Drew to the portable playpen set up in her stylish living room and settled the baby, fussing with his blanket until she was satisfied. “Bella declined contact with Drew. No pictures or updates. Why do you think she’d want to take care of him for two months?”
Jeanne’s skepticism echoed Blake’s own concerns. “She’ll do it.” The money he intended to offer would be hard for her to refuse.
“Pick someone else. Anyone else.”
“Why?”
“That girl is trouble.”
Jeanne’s proclamation was so ridiculous, Blake laughed. “Bella? She’s the furthest thing from trouble.”
“Are you going to tell me you never noticed the way she looked at you?”
Blake’s amusement dried up. “What are you talking about? She and I were friends. Nothing more.”
“Maybe nothing more from your perspective, but I think she was more than half in love with you.” Jeanne crossed her arms and frowned. “Not that I blame her. You are wealthy, handsome and charming.”
“In that order?” Blake muttered, unsettled by the interest that had flared inside him. Was Bella attracted to him? Maybe that’s what accounted for his unexpected awareness of her—he was merely responding to her subliminal signals. Body language. The chemistry of pheromones. Building blocks of sexual desire. Easy to disregard now that he knew the root cause.
“But the two of you together alone in the Hamptons will give her ample opportunity to get her hooks into you.”
“That isn’t going to happen.”
“No?”
“First of all, I believe I have some say in who I get involved with.” Blake arched his eyebrows when Jeanne opened her mouth to protest. “Secondly, Bella isn’t interested in getting her hooks in me. You said it yourself. She declined any contact with Drew. She told me she doesn’t want to be a mother. She did enough parenting with her siblings. So you don’t need to worry that I’m going to do something as foolish as fall for her.”
“That’s good to hear. But hasn’t it occurred to you that Drew needs more than a series of nannies? He needs a mother. Someone who will love him with all her heart.”
“I’ve been thinking along those lines myself.”
First Bella had turned her back on Drew. Then Vicky. He could do nothing about the latter. His ex-wife had let him believe she wanted a family when what she really wanted was for their relationship to remain unchanged, but Bella’s values were different. She’d come from a large family. And if he’d learned anything at all about her in the months before Drew was born, he’d seen that she had a nurturing nature. Even if she was determined to deny it.
With Vicky there’d been no such mothering instinct. His ex-wife had insisted on hiring a nanny before Drew was born. She maintained she didn’t have the temperament to be a full-time mother. He should have listened to her. But he’d been too set on having his son grow up in the perfect family Blake had not had growing up.
Jeanne lit up. “I’m so glad to hear you say that.”
“Glad why?”
“Victoria ended her relationship with Gregory.” His stepsister’s animated expression warned Blake she was in full interference mode.
He’d heard something to that effect. “I suspect that had something to do with the fact that her play closed after two weeks?” Blake made no effort to hide his cynicism.