Special Deliveries: Wanted: A Mother For His Baby
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“Of course not.”
“I don’t believe you.”
She shifted on the soft cushion, but there was nowhere for her to go. He’d boxed her in.
“It has nothing to do with you. I don’t want your sister thinking you don’t trust me to take care of Drew.”
“She’ll understand that I’m staying home because otherwise I’ll be wondering how he is the whole time and be terrible company.”
“She’s going to blame me for not keeping a close enough eye on him.”
“I will tell her it was my fault.” Blake’s lips thinned. “I’ll explain I had you thoroughly distracted.”
“You really shouldn’t do that.” Concern thrummed in her voice. “She will think we’re...”
A rosy flush spilled over her cheeks. The sight of it confounded him. Why was she acting embarrassed? The kiss they’d shared had given him a clear picture of the attraction between them. She’d responded boldly to every sweep of his tongue. He hadn’t anticipated that she’d throw herself into the kiss with sweet abandon, or that he’d be equally swept away by the softness of her skin and the heat of her mouth.
“That we’re...?” He prompted.
She kept her attention fixed on Drew. “Why did you kiss me?”
Her voice was so low he almost didn’t catch the question.
“Because I wanted to.”
“It complicates things between us.”
More than she knew.
“Things are already complicated between us.”
She eyed Blake as she handed him the empty bottle. “Why did you really want me here this summer? There are hundreds of terrific nannies in New York. You could have had your pick.”
“I like your company. I thought you’d enjoy spending a couple months at the beach.”
Her scrutiny intensified. “No ulterior motives?”
“Such as?” he prompted, voice silky smooth, wondering if she was brave enough to voice the challenge in her eyes.
“We haven’t even been here two hours and already you’ve kissed me.” The exaggerated rise and fall of her chest betrayed her agitation. She was practically vibrating with tension. “Do you expect me to sleep with you?”
“I’m considering the possibility,” he admitted. At some point during that explosive kiss, he’d lost control. Her effect on him was both intriguing and disturbing.
“You don’t mean that.”
Blake forced his tone neutral. “I do.”
“But you’ve never given any indication that you’re interested in me.” Her soft blue eyes grew incredibly large in her pale face.
“As you pointed out earlier, I was married. These days I’m free to be attracted to any woman I want.”
“Sure, but there are hundreds for you to pick from who are much more suitable.”
“Maybe I’m not looking for suitable.” He took her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “Maybe all I’m interested in is a woman who moans when I kiss her.”
Her lips parted on a sharp inhale. “You caught me by surprise.”
“And if I gave you fair warning? Would that make a difference?”
“You can’t be serious.”
He stared at her soft mouth, remembering how it felt beneath his. The passionate tangle of her tongue with his. If Drew wasn’t snuggled in her arms, his eyes focused on Bella’s face, Blake would lean over and show her just how powerful the chemistry between them could be.
“Would you like me to demonstrate just how serious I am?”
“No.” She shook her head vehemently. “Don’t toy with me, Blake.”
“I assure you, that’s the last thing I intend to do.” Deciding he’d pushed her to the very edge of her comfort zone, Blake got to his feet. “We’ll talk more about this later. Right now I need to change if I’m going to make it to Jeanne’s on time.”
Brain reeling from her exchange with Blake, Bella stared after him. What had she gotten herself into? Had coming to the Hamptons with Blake and Drew been a huge mistake? The last thing she’d ever expected was that Deidre would have been right about Blake. What had his kiss meant? Was she a naive fool to read anything into it at all?
Blake was single. She was a warm body. Was it as simple as that? But why would he choose her when the Hamptons were filled with far more suitable women? Maybe she shouldn’t ask questions. Maybe she should just pack and get the hell out.
Unfortunately, now that she’d given her sister the three-thousand-dollar advance on her salary, she would have to stay and be Drew’s nanny for at least two weeks.
Besides, she couldn’t just leave father and son in the lurch. No matter how often she tried to put her needs first, it was inevitable that she would put acting responsibly before self-preservation. She was trapped here. Incarcerated by her belief system.
When Blake came home from his stepsister’s dinner party, she would simply tell him that nothing like that kiss could ever happen between them ever again. Blake would understand and agree. Surely he didn’t want to complicate their working relationship. It had been a one-time misstep, incongruous and regrettable, and never to be repeated.
The baby in her arms was stirring back to full wakefulness. She carried him upstairs and found a large bedroom with pale blue walls, decorated with sailboats and furnished with a dark cherry crib, dresser and changing table. The last time she’d been here, the room had just been finished. The stuffed animals that now filled the window seat that overlooked the ocean hadn’t been here. There’d been no baskets on the floor filled with stacking cups and electronic games. No well-worn books had filled the shelves.
Now the space looked lived-in. Loved.
Bella set Drew on the floor near the basket of toys and began unpacking his clothes. A fire truck with a siren held his attention for as long as it took Bella to fill one drawer. After that he crawled to the low bookcase and began pulling out one story after another. Seeing the mess he was making, Bella left the rest of the unpacking for later and joined him on the floor.
“What should we read first?” She scanned the books.
“He’s particularly fond of Belly Button Book,” Blake said from the doorway.
Bella located the story and turned to thank him for the suggestion, but the words faltered on her lips at the sight of him in khakis, a white polo shirt and navy blazer. The casual clothes reminded her of those days last summer when they’d sat on the back porch and he’d told her about his favorite places in the Virgin Islands and about how he’d first tried cinghiale—wild boar—in a small village in Tuscany. She’d been surprised to learn that they hunted wild boar in Italy and that it was a favorite dish in the region.
He’d opened her eyes to adventures she’d never imagined when she’d been growing up on a small farm in Iowa and her dreams had expanded to include traveling beyond the borders of the U.S.
“I should be back in time to put him to bed,” Blake told her.
“Don’t feel the need to rush back. We’ll be just fine.” She lifted the baby onto her lap and opened the book. “Enjoy your dinner.”
“Thank you,” Blake said.
It wasn’t until he was gone that Bella realized she’d been holding her breath. She released the air in a gusty sigh and kissed Drew on top of his head. “That daddy of yours sure ties me in knots,” she confided to the baby. “Did you see the way he kissed me this afternoon?”
Drew smacked the book with his hands and made impatient noises.
“Typical guy,” Bella teased. “When it comes to talking about feelings, you aren’t interested in hearing what a woman has to say.”
And without further delay, she began to read.
Five
Blake cursed as he turned into the driveway of the house Jeanne and Peter had rented and spied three cars parked in front. His stepsister had lied to him. This wasn’t a quiet family dinner. It was a setup.
One of her numerous socialite friends from New York? An oil baron’s daughter from Texas? Hopefully she hadn’t fixed him up with the actress from Los Angeles she’d met the previous week. The possibilities were endless, considering Jeanne’s vast social connections and vivacious personality.
“Blake.” Jeanne flung open the door before he had a chance to ring the bell. “I’m so glad you could join us.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the living room.
Her over-the-top gaiety deepened Blake’s suspicions. She was trying too hard.
Peter met him in the living room doorway and handed him a cut-crystal tumbler with a three-finger shot of whiskey. “I told her this was a bad idea.”
Blake’s chest vibrated with a suppressed growl. “Jeanne, what’s going on?”
He loved his stepsister, but sometimes she didn’t know when to stop her well-meaning machinations. She liked the world organized to her specific standards. And most of the time she got her way.
“Look who was able to get away from New York to join us for the weekend.” Jeanne maneuvered him around Peter and into the contemporary monstrosity of a living room where Blake’s ex-wife stood, her expression a mask of delight, her eyes flaring defiance.
“Damn it, Jeanne,” he began, biting off the rest of the sentence when his stepsister gripped his hand hard.
“Don’t be mad. You two are my favorite people in the world.” Her husband made a disgusted sound behind her that she ignored. “I can’t have you refusing to be in the same room. There’s going to be harmony in this house when the baby comes.” Her lovely features wore the determined expression they all knew too well. “I mean it.”
Blake took a healthy swallow of his drink and relished the burn in his throat and chest. He concentrated on getting a handle on his annoyance before he spoke. “So, this isn’t a setup?” He thought he sounded cool and relaxed, but Peter winced, Jeanne’s eyes went wide and Vicky grew pale.
“Must you suspect everyone’s motives?”
“Not everyone’s,” he retorted smoothly, saluting his stepsister with the glass. “Just yours.”
Jeanne rolled her shoulders in an elegant shrug and nudged him toward Vicky. “Go be nice while I have Peter refresh your drink.”
Tension marred his ex-wife’s lovely features as he approached her. Stunning in a figure-hugging black dress that showed off a significant amount of cleavage, she’d obviously spent a great deal of time on her hair and makeup. If she was hoping he’d be moved that she’d gone to so much trouble for him, she was destined for disappointment.
“I don’t need to ask how you’ve been,” she murmured. “You look wonderful.”
“Fatherhood agrees with me.”
“I knew it would.”
The flow of conversation was interrupted when Peter handed him a tumbler of scotch. When they began again, Vicky changed the topic to recent gossip about their friends. She didn’t ask after Drew. Eight months ago this would have annoyed Blake. In the months since she’d left, he’d grudgingly accepted that he’d been too blinded by his desire to be a parent to realize his wife didn’t share his enthusiasm. In the week after they’d brought their son home from the hospital, Vicky hadn’t held the baby more than a half dozen times, each for less than ten minutes. Pity he hadn’t recognized her lack of maternal instinct earlier. It would have saved them both a great deal of heartache.
“I heard that your play closed,” he said. “I’m sorry to hear it didn’t work out.”
She shrugged. “There will be others.”
Blake spied telltale signs of anxiety in the lines bracketing her mouth. “I thought you were very good.”
“You saw it?”
“Of course. Don’t sound so surprised. You know I’ve always been your biggest fan.”
News of her affair had left him angry and raw for twenty-four hours. It had taken him that long to process the abrupt end of his five-year marriage and to remember that his energy was better spent caring for his son.
“But I thought...” She looked baffled.
“That I hated you?” He shook his head. “We wanted different things. You, a career. Me, a family. I didn’t appreciate the way you ended things, but I’ve been told that I can be a bit difficult to say no to.” He snagged her gaze and let his lips drift into a conciliatory curve.
“That’s so reasonable of you.” Her tone reflected doubt.
“I told you fatherhood agrees with me.”
“I guess it does.”
“Drew’s terrific. Stop by the house anytime if you’d like to see him.” He made the offer knowing she’d never do that.
“I will.” She nodded. “I’m heading to Los Angeles next week. Maybe we could have lunch at the Saw Grass Grill before I leave?”
The restaurant where they’d agreed to start a family. Had she been honest in her agreement, or had it merely been a way to preserve their marriage? He’d never be sure whether what she’d told him was the truth or merely what she’d believed he wanted to hear. One thing he did know, he’d missed all the warning signs that Vicky wasn’t interested in being a mother.
He was saved from having to answer by the arrival of the housekeeper announcing dinner was ready. Blake lingered in the living room while the other three made their way into the dining room. Blake wasn’t surprised to see that Jeanne had placed him next to Victoria to suit her matchmaking scheme.
His sister wasn’t behaving as if she’d listened when he told her he intended to put his son’s needs first. Of course, he wasn’t exactly walking the walk either. Kissing Bella this afternoon had been a mistake. There was no denying he wanted her, but she was far too determined to remain childless. Getting involved with her was contrary to everything he wanted for Drew. Better to heed her warning. Pursuing her would complicate things between them and he needed their relationship to be trouble free, for Drew’s sake.
That decided, he returned his attention to the dinner conversation, ignoring the burn of disappointment in his gut.
* * *
Bella stared down at a sleeping Drew, unable to obey the logical side of her brain that told her to grab the baby monitor and go. She needed to remember that Drew was nothing more than a job. She was his nanny. This tightness in her chest would go away the instant she accepted that Drew belonged to Blake and only Blake. She had no claim on him. No reason to ache for all the firsts she’d already missed and all the ones still to come that she wouldn’t get to experience.
Damn Blake. It was all his fault. First he’d tracked her down. Then he’d offered her the financial means to help her sister and not feel guilty for spending money on a fabulous trip to the Caribbean. If not for him, she might be broke and resentful, but she’d be blissfully free of the emotional chaos churning in her gut. Free of the anxiety that came with being responsible for another human being.
Reaching down, she grazed her knuckles across Drew’s soft cheek. This afternoon when he’d been stung, she’d longed to take on his pain as her own. She hadn’t been able to separate herself from his hurt the way she did when something harmed her brothers and sisters. It was as if despite being apart for nine months, she and Drew shared a bond. He would always be hers no matter how many miles separated them.
It was a disquieting thought that she wished she could unthink.
Her phone buzzed in her back pocket, alerting her that a text had come in. She suspected that it was Blake checking in again, so relief surged through her when she saw Deidre’s name on the display. Bella exited the nursery, pulling the door closed behind her, and went to sit on the steps that descended toward the darkened first floor. She keyed up her friend’s message and grimaced at the video of Deidre dancing with three guys.
There’s too many gorgeous guys for me to keep happy all by myself.
That could be her. Young, single and ready to break hearts all over town. No responsibilities. No worries. Just fun.
Bella texted her friend back.
I’ve seen you in action and have faith that you can do it.
A minute later her phone rang.
“We miss you.” Deidre’s fervent voice sounded loud in the still house as she made it sound like Bella had been gone for weeks instead of hours.
“I miss you, too.”
“How are things there?” From the background noise, it sounded like Deidre was in the ladies’ room.
Bella waffled over how much to tell her friend and finally decided to ease into it. “A little weird.”
“Weird how?”
“You were right about Blake.”
“Aha!” Deidre crowed. A second later her voice quieted. Tension gathered in her tone. “What do you mean I was right?”
“He kissed me.” A stunned silence followed Bella’s declaration. With her nerves frayed by too much self-doubt, Bella wished her friend would say something. She could really use Deidre’s sensible council. “Did you hear me?”
“I did. I’m just trying to figure out how to respond.” Another pause. “Yippee?”
“No, not yippee,” Bella shot back. “Yikes.”
Deidre laughed. “Yikes, indeed. Boy, does he work fast. What sort of a kiss was it?”
“What do you mean, what sort of a kiss?”
“Friendly? Some people kiss on the lips to say hello or goodbye. Was it that sort of a kiss?”
Despite the hysteria bubbling up, Bella appreciated her roommate’s matter-of-fact way of assessing the situation.
“No. It was not a friendly kiss.”
“Juicy, then.” Deidre’s voice barely missed sounding like a triumphant whoop. “Did he rock your world?”
The question aroused an untimely urge to giggle. “He does that just by walking in the room.”
“You’ve got it worse than I thought.”
“So much worse.” Bella set her forehead on her knees and cradled the phone against her ear. “I keep telling myself it was just a one-time thing and it won’t happen again.”
“Is that what you believe?”
“No.” Hot flashes surged through Bella’s body. “What should I do?”
“You’re asking the wrong girl. I’d sleep with him in a New York minute. He’s gorgeous and sexy. Nothing wrong with two single people enjoying each other’s company. But that’s me. What do you want to do?”
Bella had never been able to cultivate Deidre’s casual attitude toward sex. As much as she’d love to be a sophisticated woman taking large bites out of the Big Apple, in truth, she was still a girl who’d grown up on a farm in Iowa. Granted, she didn’t want to get married and start a family, but that didn’t mean that she could see herself jumping into bed with someone where there was no possibility of a future.
“What I want to do goes against my nature.”
“Bella, you’ve been stuck on this guy way too long. Offer him a couple months of uncomplicated sex and get him out of your system.” Voices called Deidre’s name from somewhere close by. “I have to go. Call me tomorrow and we’ll talk more about this.”
“I will. Have fun tonight.”
Without Deidre’s vibrant voice filling her ear, Bella’s anxiety returned in spades. It was crazy to contemplate what could happen with Blake. She’d already decided against repeating this afternoon’s kiss. It would be easier on her heart that way.
Beside her Drew’s baby monitor picked up a soft cry. Blake had warned her that he’d been having trouble staying asleep lately and she wondered at the source of his restlessness. Was he cutting new teeth? The discomfort of that had kept her youngest sister up nights for two solid months.
Drew quieted before Bella could stand. Ears keyed to the tiniest noise, she heard the sound of approaching footsteps from below. Blake was back earlier than she expected. And he was humming. What had put him in such a good mood?
“How was your evening?” she asked as he rounded the landing.
His eyes lit up as he spied her sitting on the steps. “Waiting up for me?”
“No.” The last thing she needed was for him to think she’d spent the evening missing him. “I just got off the phone with my friend. She couldn’t wait to tell me how much fun she was having at this new club.”
Blake stretched out on the stair beside her. His knee bumped her thigh. The casual contact zinged through her body. Shifting away would betray her agitation. Holding still took all her concentration.
“Wish you were there?” A lazy smile appeared on his well-formed lips, but the eyes that surveyed her were keen and curious.
“A little.”
She tried to keep her eyes off him, but the dim stairwell offered little of interest to distract her. And there was a whole lot of wonderful occupying far too much of her personal space. In complete contrast to her tense muscles, he looked entirely at ease beside her. His elbow rested on the top step, fingers interlocked loosely. Beneath his navy blazer, a white shirt stretched across his broad chest, the top button undone to reveal the strong column of his throat.
He was strong, masculine, utterly confident in every situation, and Bella could feature him in a hundred fantasies without taxing her imagination. Deidre was right. She’d been hung up on Blake for too long. But was a brief, casual affair the best way to get him out of her system?
“Tomorrow night I’ll stay home with Drew,” he offered. “You can go out and have some fun of your own.”
“By myself?” She didn’t mean for the question to come out sounding as grim as it did, and Blake’s eyes brimmed with amusement. “What I mean is I don’t know anyone here. I’m not sure I want to go to a bar alone.”
“I’ll get Jeanne to watch Drew and I’ll take you.”
His offer made her pulse race. She imagined herself in a bar with Blake. A glass of wine to relax her. The throb of electronic music making her blood run hot. How long before she dragged him onto the crowded dance floor and gave in to the hunger he aroused?
“That’s nice of you to suggest, but I don’t think you and I going out is a good idea.”
Her repressive manner put him on instant alert. He regarded her through narrowed eyes for a long moment before asking, “Any reason why not?”
“I’ve been doing some thinking since earlier.”
“About what?”
“About what happened between us today.”
His lips arced in a predatory smile. “I’ve been thinking about it, as well.”
“Then you’ll agree that it was a mistake.”
“I can’t say that.”
His declaration gave Bella pause. This was not going as planned. “I’m your son’s nanny.”
“If you’re worried that things will become uncomfortable between us, I have no intention of letting that happen.”
She relaxed. “Good. I think it’s for the best if nothing further happens.”
“I truly wish I could make that promise.” Blake’s exhalation sounded weary. “Earlier tonight, I thought I could. But now I realize I can’t.”
“Why not?” Her voice pitched higher than normal as she asked the question.
“Because it’s not that easy to keep my hands off you.”
Six
Sitting on the steps was not an ideal place to begin a seduction, but Blake wasn’t about to risk Bella bolting for the safety of her bedroom if he let her get to her feet. Her resistance amused him. It was as if all her arguing against an affair between them was aimed at convincing herself. He was confident she wanted him. He just needed her to admit it.
He cupped her neck to hold her still while he slid his lips into the hollow above her collarbone. The contact made her shiver. Her skin was warm silk. Softer than he’d expected. He pulled in a long, slow breath, taking in the scent of her. Vanilla and jasmine. Simple fragrances for an uncomplicated woman.
“Blake—” She whispered his name, objecting even as she leaned into his searching lips.
“Yes, Bella?” He sampled more of her skin, grazing his mouth up her neck. Her soft sigh made him smile in satisfaction.
“We really shouldn’t.”
“Are you telling me to stop?” Instead of waiting for her to answer, he let his fingertips slip from her neck to her shoulder, drawing her into his space. He wanted to overwhelm her with intent. Compel her understanding. He wanted her. Very much. “Just say stop. I’ll quit.”
His teeth grazed her throat. She moaned something, but the word that left her lips wasn’t stop. Her fingers bit into his shoulders. He felt their fierce hold through his blazer. For a woman who wanted him to believe she was opposed to letting the chemistry between them run its course, she was not resisting.