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She liked the way he worked, reassuring both their patients and their parents; and with him she really felt part of a team. It felt as if she’d worked with him for years, rather than only a couple of days. Which was crazy. She couldn’t have that kind of rapport with him so soon.
In their afternoon break, she caught him just as he was heading for the staff room. ‘I owe you cake for helping me with Maddie,’ she said.
‘You really don’t. I was just doing my job, the same as you,’ he said with a smile.
‘You taught me something new today and I appreciate that, plus I happen to know you didn’t have a lunch break—you spent it talking to Maddie about football,’ she pointed out.
He shrugged. ‘Maddie was fretting and I wanted to help her settle in to the ward. We had a fabulous argument about whether Italian football players were better than English ones, and that really cheered her up.’
Jenna could just imagine. Lorenzo had worked out the best way to take the little girl’s mind off her illness and played his part with gusto. He was the kind of colleague it was a joy to work with. ‘I just want to say thank you—I didn’t want you to think I’m taking you for granted,’ she said.
There was an odd expression on his face, but for so briefly that she thought she might have imagined it.
‘I know you’re not taking me for granted. We’re colleagues. I’m just doing my job,’ Lorenzo said. ‘You really don’t need to buy me cake.’
Then a really nasty thought hit her. Did he think that she was coming on to him? But she wasn’t. ‘I’d make the same offer to any of my colleagues who helped me like that,’ she said. ‘Regardless of gender or age.’ And she hoped he’d follow through with the rest: regardless of marital status, because it was a platonic offer rather than a come-on.
‘It’s fine,’ he said.
‘Well, thanks. I really did appreciate your help,’ she said. ‘I thought Maddie might have some kind of rheumatology issue, but I haven’t come across JDM before.’
‘To be fair, I’ve only seen one case, and I wasn’t the lead doctor in the case,’ Lorenzo said.
‘I’ll look it up in my books tonight after salsa class.’ She smiled. ‘Which is a double-win situation for me, because it means I can find out what I need to know for Maddie’s treatment, and revise for my paediatrics exams.’
Lorenzo stared at her. ‘You’re, what, three or four years younger than me?’
‘I’m thirty-two.’
‘Three years, then. I’m surprised you’re not through all your exams already.’
‘That’s because I took a year’s sabbatical,’ she said.
‘Sabbatical?’
His voice was soft and gentle, and Jenna almost confided in him about why she’d taken time off work. Then Danny’s voice echoed in her head: ‘You’re going to be a surrogate mum for your sister? That’s the most stupid idea I’ve ever heard. What about your career? How can you throw all that away just for a kid that you’re not even keeping?’
She didn’t think Lorenzo was anything like Danny, but the situation wasn’t exactly the easiest to explain. She didn’t want him thinking that either she was a saint—because she was far from that—or the naive idiot Danny had called her when she’d refused to give in to his haranguing. ‘Life throws up unexpected stuff, sometimes,’ she said with a smile, fudging the issue.
* * *
Lorenzo had seen Jenna work with their patients. He knew she was competent, and also she was confident enough to admit when something was outside her experience, as Maddie had been today—so he didn’t think she’d taken a year off because she’d been struggling with her work and needed to think about her future. So why had she taken a year’s sabbatical? Had it been a career break to have a baby, perhaps?
Though, in his experience, when his colleagues had children, they tended to talk about them. Jenna hadn’t said a word about having children of her own.
Maybe she’d had a child, then lost it.
He knew how that felt, and he didn’t talk about it. He could understand why someone just wouldn’t want the constant reminders of the empty spaces in their lives. So he wasn’t going to push her about it. Besides, she’d hit the nail on the head about his own situation. Unexpected stuff. In his case, it had been something he’d been too naive and stupid to work out for himself. That his wife had cheated on him with her ex, and the little girl he’d believed was his was actually another man’s daughter. ‘Very true,’ he said. ‘Life can be unexpected.’ And sometimes it took you a while to pick yourself up and dust yourself off again. ‘If you want anyone to test you on stuff before the exams, give me a yell.’
‘Thanks. That’s kind.’ She smiled at him, and he had to damp down the urge to lace his fingers through hers and suggest something more personal than simply exam revision.
This was ridiculous. They’d both said that they weren’t in the market for a relationship. After Georgia, he’d lost his capacity to trust.
Yet something about Jenna Harris drew him. Her warmth, her verve, her kindness.
He was going to have to be careful about this. Really careful.
Because he really didn’t want to risk his heart again.
CHAPTER THREE
BY THE END of Lorenzo’s first two weeks at Muswell Hill Memorial, he’d completely settled in to his new role. As Jenna had told him on the first day, the team on the ward was good to work with, and they were like a family. He’d already been to a team pizza night out, a weekend game of football in the park, and joined the ward’s quiz team—and the danceathon was happening at the weekend. It felt as if he’d been working at Muswell Hill for months rather than a matter of a few days.
The only thing he needed to deal with now was his inappropriate feelings towards Jenna.
Every time his hand brushed against hers at work, he felt a tingle all the way down his arm. When she smiled, it made his heart feel as if it had just skipped a beat. And this was crazy. He didn’t want to get involved and he knew that she didn’t, either.
He really didn’t understand why he was reacting to her in this way. It would be easier if she’d turned out to be a gossip, or an ambition-driven bitch who trampled on her colleagues to get a promotion—the kind of person he wouldn’t want to be within a mile of. But she was warm, sweet, great with their patients and parents, and he’d seen her patiently explaining something to one of the junior doctors.
* * *
And he had to admit he was attracted to her. Physically as well as intellectually. The problem was, he’d been here before with Georgia. He’d fallen in love with someone he thought loved him back—and she’d let him down in the worst possible way. He’d pretty much come to terms with the fact that Georgia had left him for someone else; although it had hurt, he could understand that if you loved someone that much it just took you over and you couldn’t help your feelings. But taking their daughter away had hurt him more deeply than anything he’d ever known. He had no intention of risking that sort of pain again.
Besides, for someone as nice as Jenna to be single and adamant that she wasn’t looking for a relationship, he’d guess that she’d been let down by someone in the past. Something to do with her year off work, perhaps. Not that he could be intrusive and ask.
So he’d have to keep his feelings under control. Remind himself that relationships weren’t for him, and he was Jenna’s colleague. Maybe they could become friends—but he wasn’t sure he could even handle that.
Strictly professional was the order of the day.
On Saturday afternoon, Lorenzo walked to the local high school and signed in, then followed the signs to the sports hall. Jenna was already there. He noticed that her hair was caught back in a scrunchie, the way it was at work, and he wondered what it would be like if she took the scrunchie out. Would her hair fall over her shoulders in wild curls?
Worst of all, he found himself wondering what her hair would look like spread over his pillow...
Oh, for pity’s sake. This was a charity danceathon. This wasn’t the time or the place to start fantasising about Jenna Harris. She was off limits and they had work to do. He shook himself mentally, then went over to her. ‘Reporting for duty, as promised,’ he said with a smile. ‘What do you need me to do?’
* * *
Jenna looked up at Lorenzo and her heart skipped a beat. Instead of the formal shirt, tie and dark trousers he always wore on the ward beneath his white coat, he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. It made him look younger and more approachable; and she was horrified to find that she was actually reaching out to put her hand on his arm.
Absolutely not.
This wasn’t the deal. He was helping out. He was here as a new colleague and nothing more. She needed to keep this strictly professional.
She shook herself. ‘Hi. Thanks for coming to help.’ He’d asked her what she wanted him to do. Her head was suddenly full of all sorts of inappropriate phrases. She managed to get a grip on herself—just—and said, ‘There’s a table over there with all the raffle prizes on it. If you wouldn’t mind taping raffle ticket numbers to the prizes, and then folding the rest of the raffle tickets for the box, that would be great.’ She handed him a book of raffle tickets and a roll of sticky tape; her fingers brushed against his and a shiver ran down her spine.
Was it her imagination, or had his eyes just widened slightly?
Or was she reading too much into it?
This really wasn’t the time or the place.
Tickets, she reminded herself sharply. ‘We’re just using the ones on the right-hand side of the ticket page that end in a zero to stick on the prizes, but all the left-hand tickets go in the box, folded so you can’t see the number.’
‘Which means there’s a one in ten chance of winning a prize. That sounds reasonable,’ he said, and went off to sort out the raffle table.
Nathan from the Emergency Department was helping the members of Maybe Baby to set up the stage and wire up the sound system ready for the sound check; the local pub was setting up the bar to one side of the hall; and a stream of parents of their former patients came over to her to check where she wanted the food set out.
All the time, Jenna was incredibly aware of Lorenzo’s presence. This was crazy. The last thing she needed in her life right now was any kind of complication. She was busy at work and with her studies, and she liked her life just as it was.
Yet a little voice kept echoing in her head. What if...?
What if she could have what Lucy had? Someone who loved her and a family of her own?
She shoved the thought away. Apart from anything else, she had the strongest feeling that Lorenzo had been hurt in the past—hence his insistence on not wanting a relationship. And, given the way her judgement had let her down so badly over Danny, how could she be sure that she wouldn’t be making just as much of a mistake with Lorenzo?
She was just going to have to ignore that little voice and listen to her common sense instead.
* * *
Once Lorenzo had sorted out the raffle tickets, he joined another team in setting out chairs for the people who’d just come to watch the dancing or who needed a break from the dance floor.
‘It’s really good of you to do this,’ Jenna said, coming over to him. ‘I feel a bit guilty, roping you in to help when you’ve been working at the hospital for barely a couple of weeks.’
‘It’s fine. I wasn’t doing anything special at the weekend anyway—plus it’s a nice way to get to know the team outside work,’ he pointed out.
‘It’s still appreciated,’ she said.
He had to muster every gram of professionalism when she smiled at him. What on earth was the matter with him? It was anatomically impossible for your heart to do a somersault, so feeling that it had just happened was utterly ridiculous. He needed to get a grip.
‘Is there anything else you need me to do?’ he asked.
She shook her head. ‘I’m just handing out the cash floats to the hospital-run stalls, and then I’m going to change into my dancing shoes.’
‘Then I’ll do my best to sell raffle tickets,’ Lorenzo said.
When the danceathon started, Lorenzo was surprised to discover just how good the band was. Keely, one of the senior nurses in their department, had a beautiful voice and could easily have made a career out of singing. Nathan, one of the porters in the Emergency Department, was the DJ who did an hour’s slot between each set the band played; and, in between sorting out the music, the band and the DJ all joined in with the dancing.
‘You’ve done more than your fair share on the raffle, Renzo. I’ll take over while you take a break. Go and have a dance,’ Laney, one of the nurses on their ward, said with a smile, taking the box of tickets and the cash box from him.
It looked as if he didn’t have much choice, even though dancing really wasn’t his thing. He stood on the edge of the dance floor, moving awkwardly to the music and wondering how long he’d have to be there before he could justifiably go back to the raffle table, and then Jenna was there beside him.
‘Hey. You’ve finally come to join us on the dance floor?’ she asked.
‘Laney bullied me into it. I did warn you that not all Italian men could dance and I have two left feet,’ he said with a rueful smile.
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