What's A Housekeeper To Do? / Tipping the Waitress with Diamonds: What's A Housekeeper To Do? / Tipping the Waitress with Diamonds
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He couldn’t tell her any of that. Because Lally didn’t want this. She’d made that clear and she’d looked scared when she said it. Scared from somewhere inside that Cam shouldn’t mess with because she could end up getting hurt, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt her.
He wanted to know what had hurt her, but he mustn’t mess with that either. He had no right, no claim on her, aside from being her very temporary employer, nor would he ever seek to change that. Cam didn’t want this either; he couldn’t pursue it. He’d only end up disappointing her, not being what she needed. He’d proved that about himself already.
He was an insomniac, workaholic, novelwriting businessman who couldn’t stay in one place, couldn’t rest, had no idea how to be a family. He and his mother might have been linked during his childhood but she hadn’t wanted him. And Cam had learned not to be wanted.
He’d tried to break out of that once, in his midtwenties. Gillian…
Cam had built up Gillian’s expectations, and when she’d realised just how much of him would never be hers, when she had come to understand just how much his past history and his insomnia impacted on his daily life, she’d been let down, disappointed and ultimately hurt. She’d wanted and needed more than he’d been able to give her. She’d been right to want that, and right to walk away.
They’d gone their separate ways and Cam had learned a lesson. He didn’t want to hurt a woman like that again. He didn’t want to set himself up for that kind of loss again either. He knew what he could and couldn’t have.
Yet tonight Cam had forgotten all that past history, that painful learning-curve that he’d sworn not to repeat. He’d kissed a slip of a girl on a rooftop, had found all this tenderness and all these other responses to her inside him. He hadn’t simply wanted to give them to her, he’d felt driven to bring them to her. That wasn’t something he’d experienced with Gillian; it wasn’t something he’d ever experienced with any woman.
That fact perhaps had driven him to kiss Lally. It had certainly made his reactions to her even more dangerous. He forced his arms to drop away from her, forced himself to take a step back. Every fibre of his body and mind seemed to object at once. If he drew her close again, he knew he wouldn’t want to let go at all. He’d take her hand, lead her back through this hotel, take her home and make her his completely.
Not happening, Travers.
‘We should go.’ He led Lally back the way they had come and ushered her into the service lift.
As the doors closed, Lally turned to him and said quietly, ‘Your book—did we achieve what you needed?’
It was a ploy to get the focus off them and back to the reason for this evening. Cam acknowledged this and did his best to further it. ‘I’ve decided the female character will be an undercover special-services officer, but she’s a double agent with marksman skills and a history as a hired assassin as well…’ Cam talked about his story until he had Lally out of the hotel and safely ensconced beside him in the car.
In the car’s dim interior, Cam could hear every breath Lally took, smell the soft scent of her skin and whatever lotion she’d rubbed into it after her shower tonight. He tried not to notice any of it.
‘I’m glad the research was successful and that you have a good understanding of this new character you’re bringing into your story.’ Her fingers fidgeted with the small bag in her lap. ‘You know, I really shouldn’t keep any of these things.’
‘Please. Maybe you’ll wear them some place again one day.’ And think of me. Was that what Cam wanted? His eyebrows drew together.
As they passed beneath a streetlight, Cam glanced towards her. The breeze had whipped at her hair, dishevelled it just enough to make him want to bury his hands in it, caress his fingers over her scalp and use that touch to tilt her head so he could kiss her neck, kiss her chin and find his way back to soft lips.
You’re not thinking about kissing her, remember?
They’d researched; that research had led to a kiss that shouldn’t have happened. A kiss that had blown him away, because she’d been so giving and he’d loved that and had wanted to give back in equal measure. Cam drew the convertible to a halt in an allotted space inside the property-development site. No matter how tempting, no matter how much she soothed him—no matter anything—he had to take due care that nothing like this happened again.
A woman like Lally deserved better than an insomniac workaholic who had no sense of family or ability to meet a woman’s deep needs.
There was no other way for Cam. No other way that he knew.
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘HE PUSHES himself so hard, Auntie. I really want to help him find a way to get more sleep. It’s the one thing I think I might be able to do for him, beyond the work I’m already doing.’
A week had passed since the night Lally and Cam had role-played, when he had tried to ‘toss her over’ the top of the hotel.
Lally had revisited those moments more often than she wanted to admit—not the pretend tossing, but the kissing that hadn’t been about role-playing at all.
Cam had placed his lips over hers and it had felt like the sweetest kiss of all time, sweet and gentle and tender, and Lally needed to forget it. She must have built it way up in her mind, anyway, mustn’t she? For how could she feel such a depth of reaction and response to something that, for him, must only have been the result of place, time and circumstance, nothing more?
She couldn’t start to have feelings about Cam, or towards Cam, not like those.
Lally bit back a sigh. ‘He’s my employer.’ She put a certain emphasis on the word ‘employer’; yes, that drew even more attention to her need to hold him to that role in her thinking.
If she thought of him in that light, spoke of him in that light, then eventually she would accept he was only in that light for her.
Lally glanced about her. It was only just past dawn, but already the markets were teeming with life. Mum stood with her arm linked through Aunt Edie’s. Well, that was family; you all looked after each other.
Lally felt a sudden tug of emotion as she acknowledged that thought. For six years she’d built her life around looking after everyone as best she could, and then they hadn’t needed her.
‘I’ve missed everyone. You didn’t mention how Jodie is getting along. How could I not ask about one of my sisters? Thanks for meeting me here this morning for coffee and talking about so many of them.’ She’d asked them to come and had used wanting to help her boss as her reason. And that had been the reason. Mostly.
They’d talked. Mum and Auntie had brought her up to speed on all the gossip about the family—well, almost all. Lally reiterated that she could take calls and text messages at work, that her boss wouldn’t mind.
Mum and Auntie seemed fine about that, but Lally still came away from that part of the conversation wondering if there was more under the surface. Maybe she should have just asked, but a part of her was scared of the possible answer.
Perhaps the issues with her employer were behind her general sense of unease. He’d done an exemplary job of avoiding her in the past week, aside from meal times, handing over work-lists and asking her to do various specific jobs for him. Another research trip had needed two sets of hands, not one.
He hasn’t avoided you at all, Latitia. You’ve seen loads of him.
Lally frowned. That was right, she had seen loads of him, so why did she almost feel as though she was missing him?
‘Jodie’s fine,’ Mum said.
Lally bit her lip. ‘Good. I’m glad.’ She was. And, if the answer to her other question was that she wanted Cam all over her with gentle feelings, and maybe the need to kiss her again, then she needed to stop longing for things that were completely out of the question. She was better off without them, because she really wasn’t ready to face that kind of emotional gymnastics again.
You don’t deserve ever to have a meaningful fulfilling relationship. Not after all the harm you’ve caused in the past.
The thought sent a shaft of pain through Lally’s chest. ‘What were we talking about?’
‘You were telling us about your hunky new employer,’ Auntie declared, and a grin split her weathered brown face.
‘My boss has insomnia,’ Lally said primly, and in a depressing tone focused on stopping Auntie’s speculations. ‘I woke three times last night, and every time I could see a strip of light beneath his office door and knew he was in there, working.’
Lally had been restless; she’d been restless ever since the night he’d kissed her, to be honest. ‘I wanted to know about bush foods and remedies for Cam in case there might be something that would help him sleep better.’
Her voice softened when she said his name; it went completely to mush just like that. And, because that was such a give away, Lally felt a blush build beneath her skin. She needed to put Auntie and Mum off the scent, not encourage more speculation.
‘Fresh food is a good start, of course.’ Auntie spoke as she examined Lally’s face.
‘For Cam, yes.’ Mum chipped in with her opinion, and a gleam in her eyes that definitely seemed to hold a hint of satisfaction.
Could the family have conspired to get Lally out into the world, as she’d wondered, with a view to her meeting a man, maybe?
Lally glanced at her watch and found a sudden need to become highly time-efficient. ‘I should get on with my shopping while we finish this talk.’ Lally strode to the nearest fruit stall and lifted a ripe pawpaw. If this also happened to mean that she wasn’t quite so obviously the centre of their speculation, well, that was purely happenstance.
Mum and Auntie quickly caught up with her, and Lally decided, if they were talking, she might as well spit out something else that she’d avoided once already this morning. It was bothering her. She was better off dealing with it so it could stop doing so.
Lally turned. ‘This job is the first one I’ve had where I wasn’t working for family. I want to do well at this, but I also need to know I’ll be coming back to the family the minute my work is done for Cameron Travers. Someone will need me, won’t they?’
‘Oh, well, I’m sure they will, but haven’t you found spreading your wings to be fun? It sounds as though it has been.’ Mum went on, ‘You say your employer bought you a dress and a handbag, and you helped him with research on the roof of a hotel at midnight?’
Well, not at midnight, but Lally supposed that was near enough. And, yes, it had been exciting. It just had also become somewhat complicated by the end of the night. ‘Yes, we did some research for his current book.’ Lally paid for the pawpaw and set it gently into the bottom of her shopping basket. ‘But, truly, the only reason I brought up his name this morning is because I want to try to help him sleep better. He looks so exhausted.’ She turned to her aunt. ‘Do you have any ideas?’
Auntie’s wrinkled face creased into even deeper lines. ‘There are bush foods and remedies; it depends on why he’s that way in the first place. Has he seen a doctor?’
‘I asked him about that the other day. He’s visited doctors and sleep specialists, done all the sleep studies. I think he’s tried everything he’s been told to try and come to the end of the line with no real solutions.’ Lally hesitated. ‘It’s not that he’s not alert, because he always is—he’s sharp as a whip—it’s just that…’
‘He’s sharp while he’s pushing himself, can’t relax, only sleeps until the edge is off his exhaustion, then he wakes and it’s on again for another day for him.’ Auntie nodded.
She transferred her hold from Mum’s arm to Lally’s and they made their way through the remaining market-stalls. Lally worked through her shopping list while Auntie talked.
‘You remember the tribal elder I took you to visit when you were a girl?’ Auntie named the elder. ‘He has a store. He and his wife know just about all there is to know about this kind of thing. It might be worth giving them a call.’
Lally did remember, and wished she’d thought of this earlier. ‘Thanks. That’s exactly what I need.’
They completed the shopping. ‘Thanks for meeting me this morning. I should get back to work.’
Mum laid her hand on Lally’s arm. ‘If you’re interested in your boss…’
Yes, there was definitely a gleam in Mum’s eyes that said ‘the plan is working.’ Auntie’s too.
Lally’s mouth formed words before she could stop them. ‘You all ganged together to say there was no work so I’d get out more, didn’t you?’
She wanted to be angry, to say ‘how could you?’
But Mum gave a sheepish nod and came right out and admitted it. ‘We wanted you to have some fun, Lally. Maybe this boss…’
‘He kissed me and I kissed him back, but it was a bad idea on both our parts and neither of us wants it.’ Lally drew a breath. Apparently her mother still possessed the ability to get her to confess, even when it should have been Mum doing the confessing. ‘I just care about his insomnia issues. It’s in my nature to care. I’ve always cared about the family.’
Lally gave Mum a stern stare. ‘Even when they’ve tossed me out on some made-up pretext without so much as a by your leave.’
‘The family cares about you, Lally.’ Mum sighed. ‘Please don’t be angry. Maybe we shouldn’t have done that, but it’s only for two months. We wanted to help, to see you enjoy yourself, maybe just make some nice friends.’
‘Or meet a man friend?’ Lally shook her head. ‘I wish you hadn’t. You don’t understand.’ But she wasn’t mad, and she gave Mum a hug to make that clear. ‘It’s too late to change anything now, but I’d appreciate it if you all didn’t do this again.’
‘We interfered too much. I’m sorry, Lally.’ Mum looked guilt-ridden.
Lally let it go. ‘It’s okay.’ She gave a wry smile. ‘In a family the size of ours, interfering happens. I know that.’ Lally couldn’t explain why she didn’t want a man in her life again. She bit her lip.
Auntie had wandered a little distance while Lally and Mum talked. She returned now and glanced at her watch. ‘Are you ready to go, Susan?’
‘Indeed I am.’ Mum gave Lally another hug.
Auntie gave Lally a hug.
Lally hugged both of them back, and then there were more quick words and waves. There was no need to say anything to Auntie about the rest of it.
They disappeared, and Lally walked towards the exit of the market. It was only a few blocks back to her boss’s development; maybe the walk would help her to clear her mind. At least she knew what her family had been up to now. They’d better all start contacting her again, or she would have something to say about that!
Lally glanced into her basket, checked the contents one last time and realised she’d forgotten the baby-spinach leaves she’d wanted to use in a warm chicken salad for lunch. She turned around and strode back into the heart of the market again.
‘Lally, wait up, I’ll carry the basket for you.’ It was Cam’s voice, morning-roughened and deep.
He’d called from behind her; Lally turned her head and looked over her shoulder and there he was, his gaze fixed on her as he strode forward through the crowd.
Her heart did a ridiculous lift. The world seemed suddenly brighter simply because she’d caught a glance of his face, a glimpse of a smile and softened expression directed her way.
Oh, Lally, can’t you do better than that at resisting how he makes you feel? Do you want to end up out of your depth again? He’s already made it clear he isn’t interested.
Lally just couldn’t trust again. The risks were too big. So she had to focus on the ways she could be a good employee to him.
As he joined her, Lally examined his face for signs of weariness—she found them. ‘You couldn’t sleep again this morning?’
‘No, and I’m sorry if I disturbed you last night.’ He scrubbed a hand over his jaw; it bore a day’s beard-growth. That combined with a pair of jeans, black T-shirt, and shades pushed up on his head, looked just a little disreputable. Appealingly so.
Not noticing, Lally!
She said quickly, ‘You didn’t disturb me. I was already awake. I’m just sorry you haven’t been managing to sleep more.’
‘That’s how it is.’ He took her arm and raised his eyebrows. ‘Where are you headed? When I first spotted you, I thought you’d finished and were ready to go home.’
He’d walked here just to meet her, to carry the basket for her; Lally handed it over and Cam held it easily in one hand.
She drew a breath. ‘I forgot to get baby spinach. I want it for our lunch.’ Healthy foods, healthy ingredients; she would try to help Cam eat well and sleep better. She had to try. ‘Have you had a check-up lately for your insomnia? There might be new treatments. I meant to ask that when we discussed this the other day.’
‘I have check-ups a couple of times a year.’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘So far, permanently fixing it for me hasn’t worked out. I know it’s not something people can put up with.’
Now, what did he mean by that?
‘Let’s get the spinach. Over there?’ He waited while she made her purchase, and then walked with her back to the exit. They walked through and started back home along the suburban streets.
Lally had to stop thinking of it as home. It wasn’t even particularly home-like; the project was going to be full of rental apartments, for goodness’ sake, and Cam wouldn’t even be staying here once the work was done. Just because she’d become used to thinking of all sorts of places among her family as home didn’t mean she could add Cam’s property-development project to that list.
Lally didn’t know what he’d meant about people not putting up with his insomnia, but was the answer all that relevant? She could try to help him, that was all.
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