A Father This Christmas?

CHAPTER TWO

AMBULANCE SIRENS GREW louder and closer as the staff waited, tense and raring to go. These were the moments that Eva both loved and hated.

Loved because of the way Resus went quiet as they all waited, pensive, with adrenaline urging their muscles to get moving.

Hated because she never quite knew what horrors she might yet encounter.

Still the paediatric team had not arrived.

Outside, there was the sound of rumbling engines and then the distant beeping sound of a reversing vehicle. Hospital doors slid open as the first patient came in.

Eva spotted a small dark-haired child, wearing a neck brace and on a backboard, and heard the paramedic firing off details about the patient.

‘This is Ariana, aged three. Ariana was restrained by a seat belt but endured a side impact of about thirty miles an hour. Head to toe: small abrasion on the forehead, complaining of neck pain, score of eight, bruising across the chest and middle, due to the seat belt, lower back and pelvis pain, which is secured with a splint, GCS of fifteen throughout, BP and pulse normal.’

Ariana? Didn’t her son Seb know a girl in his nursery school called Ariana?

Eva tried not to panic. She had to focus on the little girl in her care. Surely the school would have rung her if anything had happened to Seb? Although her phone was turned off, of course, and in her locker. She’d run and check as soon as she got the chance. Ariana was her priority right now.

‘Ariana? My name’s Eva. I’m one of the doctors here and I’m going to look after you.’

The way you dealt with any patient was important, but when it came to dealing with children—children who didn’t yet have their parents there to advocate for them—Eva felt it was doubly important. You had to let them know it was okay to be scared, but that they would be looked after very well and that the staff would do their utmost to get the child’s parents there as quickly as possible.

Ariana looked terrified. She had a bad graze on her forehead, probably from smashed glass, and her eyes were wide and tearful. Her bottom lip was trembling and it was obvious she was trying not to cry.

Eva’s heart went out to her. How terrifying it must be to be that small, alone and hurt, in a strange place that smelled funny and sounded funny, surrounded by strangers who all wanted to poke you and prod at you and stick you with needles, saying they’d make you feel better.

‘We need to check you’re okay, Ariana. What a pretty name! Now, I’m just going to use this—’ she held up her stethoscope ‘—to listen to your chest. Is that all right?’ Eva always made sure her paediatric patients understood what she was doing.

Ariana tried to nod, but her head’s movement was restricted by the neck immobiliser. ‘Ow! It hurts!’

‘Which bit hurts, honey?’

‘My neck.’

‘Okay, I’ll check that out for you in just a moment.’

Ariana’s chest sounded clear, which was a good sign. However, neck pain was not. It could simply be whiplash, but with neck pain you never took a chance.

‘We’ll need to take a couple of special pictures. But don’t you worry—they won’t hurt. It’s just a big camera.’

She looked up at the team she was working with, awaiting their feedback. One was checking the patient’s airway, another was checking her breathing, another Ariana’s circulation. One would get IV access for the admission of drugs or painkillers or blood, if it was needed. Each doctor or nurse was calling out a result or observation. They all worked as a highly efficient team so that patients were quickly and perfectly assessed as soon as they arrived in Resus.

Ariana was looking good at the moment. With the exception of the neck pain and the pelvic brace she was doing well, and she was responsive, which was very important. Her blood pressure was stable, so hopefully that meant no internal bleeding at all for them to worry about.

Behind her, Eva heard the Resus doors bang open once again as another patient arrived from the accident. She risked a quick glance to see who had come in. She knew Sarah or Brandon would take care of the new patient and she could focus all her attention on Ariana.

‘Have the parents been called?’

One of the nurses replied, ‘We believe the school are trying to contact parents now.’

‘Good. Did you hear that, Ariana? We’re going to find your mummy and daddy.’

She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to get that call, being a mother herself. Luckily, so far, Seb hadn’t been involved in anything serious like that. The only time she’d ever been woken by a phone call was when he’d gone for a sleepover at a friend’s house and the mother had rung at about eleven o’clock at night to say that Seb couldn’t get to sleep without his cuddly lion.

Nothing like this, thank goodness.

But having Ariana in front of her was making her doubtful. This sweet little girl looked familiar, and she felt so sure that Seb had a girl in his nursery class called Ariana...

If it was the same preschool as Seb... If he’d been hurt...

Her stomach did a crazy tumble.

She glanced across at the other teams. Sarah was busy assessing a patient and Brandon and Jacob were looking after their own little charge.

She turned back to Ariana, who was now holding her hand, and showed her the Wong-Baker FACES pain-rating scale—a series of cartoon faces that helped really young children scale their pain.

‘Which one of these are you, Ariana? Zero? Which means no hurting? Or ten? Which means hurting the worst?’

She watched as Ariana looked at all the little cartoon faces and pointed at four—‘Hurts A Little More’.

Good—the painkillers were taking effect. Hopefully that four would drop. Earlier, the paramedic had said her pain score was eight, so it was better, even if it wasn’t perfect.

Eva continued to hold Ariana’s hand. It was a soothing thing to do whilst they waited for their turn at CT and X-ray. If it had been Seb trapped in a hospital bed she would hope that the doctor caring for him would do the same thing, too, until she arrived.

* * *

Ariana’s CT scan was clear. The computer tomography scan showed internal slices through the body, so that breaks or bleeds could be seen much more clearly. Her pelvis was fine, as was her neck. Eva decided that she’d wait until they got back to Resus before she took off the immobiliser from Ariana’s neck and the brace from her pelvis.

As they wheeled her out of CT one of the nurses let Eva know that Ariana’s parents were on their way.

When they arrived back in the department Eva made the decision to take Ariana to the cubicles. Minors was busy, as some of the lesser injured children from the minibus had filled it up, and they still had a waiting room full of patients who hadn’t been involved but had come in with various ailments or injuries.

‘We’ll wait in here for Mummy and Daddy. This is much less scary than where we were before, isn’t it?’ She smiled at her patient.

Ariana was looking much happier now that the immobiliser and brace were off. She’d been a very lucky girl.

‘Ariana... I know you were going on a trip with your nursery. Which nursery do you go to?’

Please don’t say Pear Tree Pre-School!

‘The one next to the big school.’

Pear Tree Pre-School was next to an infant school...

‘What’s your teacher’s name?’

Seb’s teacher was Miss Dale. She was a very pretty young woman, with the sweetest nature, and Eva secretly wondered how she managed to keep her perfect composure all day long when surrounded by thirty-odd preschoolers.

‘Miss Dale.’

Oh, my God! Seb!

‘Ariana, I just need to check on something. Stay here, honey.’

She yanked open the curtain and fled from the cubicle, flagging down a passing nurse to sit with Ariana before heading straight to the minors board, looking for her son’s name.

Her eyes skim-read all the names until she saw it: Corday, Sebastian.

Please let him be all right!

She was about to rush off and find him when she did a double take, noticing the name of the doctor tending to him.

Jacob Dolan.

A sick chill had pervaded her body and her limbs felt numb and lifeless.

Jacob was with his son and he didn’t even know it!

Seb was talking to his father and he had no clue!

She forced her limbs to move. Forced her heavy body to start making its way to the cubicle where her life would change drastically.

Cubicle number four.

What were they talking about? Seb couldn’t be that injured if he was in Minors, but how bad was he? Was he sitting up in bed, chatting with his father? Was her secret out already?

No, not possible. Surely...?

Eva walked towards the cubicle with its closed curtain, a feeling of dread sitting low and heavy in her stomach. She could hear laughter inside, and Seb’s gentle chuckling.

She was just about to pull the curtain back when she felt a hand on her arm.

Sarah and Brandon wanted to give feedback. One child had a small fracture of the wrist and severe bruising where the seat belt had crossed the body. Another had dislocated her shoulder, but it had been reduced and put into a sling. The teacher driving and all the other adults had got away with nothing more than whiplash and bruising.

‘Nothing more severe? Thank goodness for that. They’ve been lucky, all of them.’

As Sarah and Brandon went back to their respective charges Eva couldn’t help but relax her shoulders, but she took a deep breath before she whipped back the curtain.

Seb was sitting up in bed, a broad smile on a face that was peppered with cuts. Jacob was seated on a stool next to him, about to glue a cut on his scalp.

‘Mummy!’ Seb saw her and lifted his arms for a cuddle.

Eva hurried over to him, waiting for the axe to fall, waiting for Jacob to do the maths and accuse her of being some heartless witch...

‘Seb! Are you okay?’

Jacob held off with the glue, giving them a moment. ‘Hello, Seb’s mum.’

She chose not to look at Jacob, knowing that if she did her eyes would give her away. Instead, she rapidly checked her son over, her hands grasping at his limbs, feeling for hidden injury. Apart from the cut on his scalp, he didn’t seem too bad.

She picked up his chart from the end of the bed and read through it. ‘Nothing serious, thank goodness.’

Jacob was watching her. ‘Just some minor cuts and scratches, thankfully. His head was banged against the side window, which has given him the small laceration that I was going to glue. He should be fine.’

‘Does he need a head CT?’

‘Dr Ranjit has checked him and said it wasn’t necessary.’

Dr Ranjit was a paediatric neurologist, so she had to assume he was right. ‘I see...’

‘Seb and I were just talking about lions. Apparently they’re his favourite animal.’

‘He loves lions.’

Jacob tilted his head at her curt tone, looking at her curiously. Then he asked Seb to put his head back against the pillow so that he could administer the glue. ‘Be brave, now—this might tingle a bit.’

Eva gripped her son’s hand tightly, smiling brightly into his face to encourage him to be brave.

He looked so like Jacob! Couldn’t Jacob see it? They both had the same almost black hair, slightly wavy. The same bright blue eyes...the same nose and mouth. It seemed that when genetics were being decided upon Mother Nature had decided to give Seb only his mother’s skin tone—very pale and creamy, with hints of pink in his cheeks. Apart from that, he was the spitting image of his father.

And this was not how she’d wanted Jacob to find out. She’d wanted to be able to tell him somewhere peaceful and neutral—perhaps the hospital grounds in a secluded corner? To buy him a coffee and ask him if he had time for a chat, and then slowly drip feed the information about what had happened after he left.

Not like this. Not in front of her son!

Seb winced as the glue went onto the edges of his wound and Jacob pinched them together to help them adhere.

‘You’re doing great, honey.’ Eva rubbed his hands in hers and wished she could take away the pain. The discomfort. Do what she could to make her son feel better.

‘I didn’t know you were a mother.’

She looked at Jacob quickly, and then away, guilt flooding her cheeks with heat. ‘No, well...things change.’

‘How old are you, Seb?’ he asked, frowning.

‘Three.’ Seb smiled. ‘It doesn’t hurt now.’

Jacob nodded and let go, and the wound’s edges stayed together. He pulled off his gloves and smiled. ‘There you go. It doesn’t need a plaster or anything. Just don’t get it wet. Well done, Seb! You’re very brave.’

Seb beamed with pleasure.

‘Can I take him home now?’ Eva started to gather her son’s things. His backpack had been put on the end of his bed, and his jacket.

‘He needs to stay here for an hour or two for observation. He has had a bump to the head.’

He was staring at her, his eyes full of questions.

He knows!

She had to get out of there! She did not want to have this conversation in front of Seb! She would not have this conversation in front of him. No. Not at all.

But he had to stay. For observation. Couldn’t she observe him at home? She was an A&E doctor after all...

‘May I have a word with you, Dr Corday?’

Oh, this is it. Here it comes...

‘Sure. But...um...later, maybe? I need to arrange cover if I’m going home.’

‘Could we talk now?’

She looked at Seb. Then back at Jacob.

‘Let me get him sorted first.’

She rummaged in his backpack and found his reading book. She passed it to him.

‘Have a read of your book, Seb. I’m just going to step outside the curtains and have a talk with Dr Dolan.’

Eva followed Jacob from the cubicle and went with him over to the quiet corner by the Christmas tree.

It looked beautiful this year. The team had really done themselves proud. For years they’d had a tired old fake tree that had been packed away each year in an old cardboard box, battered and unloved. But this year they had a real tree, beautifully decorated in gold and silver, with lots of pretend presents underneath.

Eva and Seb had been really looking forward to Christmas. This year it seemed Seb really understood what was going on, and what was happening, and the story of Santa Claus had got him so excited! They’d already put their own tree up at home.

But Eva wasn’t excited right now. She felt dread. And guilt. All those emotions she’d kept hidden away for years, since that first night with Jacob, neatly locked down, were now threatening to overwhelm her with their enormity.

She stood in front of Jacob like a naughty child before the headmaster. But then she thought about how he was guilty, too. About his part in all of this.

She squared her shoulders back and looked him in the eye. ‘Yes?’

‘You seem a little...distracted.’

She said nothing. Just stared at him. Waiting for the axe to fall.

‘Seb’s a great kid.’

‘He is. The best.’

‘You weren’t a mother when we met.’

Her cheeks flamed. ‘No.’

‘But you are now. And he’s three?’

‘Yes.’

Jacob seemed to be mulling over his next words. Thinking about what he might say next. Whether she would rebut his words or accept them.

‘He looks like me.’

Eva stared deeply into his bright blue eyes...eyes so much like Seb’s. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—deny him the truth. He deserved that.

‘Yes.’

Jacob’s voice lowered. ‘Is he mine, Eva?’

Of course he’s yours! Surely it’s clear to everyone?

She wanted to yell. She wanted to confirm it to him angrily. Rage at him for all he’d put her through after he left. But she didn’t. She knew that could come later. Right now he just needed the plain facts.

‘Yes. Seb’s your son.’

He stood staring at her, his face incredulous.

The Christmas tree twinkled between them.

She couldn’t help but notice how his broad shoulders narrowed down into a neat, flat waist. How his expensively tailored trousers moulded his shape, his long, muscular legs. He looked mouth-wateringly good. The years he’d spent in Africa had obviously been good to him. He was vital and in peak condition.

Years before, when they’d met at that party, there’d been only hints of the man he was to become. But even then he’d been delicious... Now the heavier muscle and perfectly toned body looked amazing on him...

She swallowed hard.

All she’d known about him that night was his name and that he was going to work for some charity. That he was a doctor, like her, and was going to Africa. But just because that was what he’d said, she hadn’t been sure it was true. People lied. Especially at parties. To make themselves sound better or more interesting than they actually were.

Jacob. In her A&E. Standing there. As large as life. As gorgeous and as sexy as he’d ever been. A hundred times more so.

He was just staring back at her, his mouth slightly open, as if he’d had something he was about to say only it had never come out.

She couldn’t just stand there! Waiting for the axe to fall. To see his reaction. Waiting for him to reject them.