Drawn to Lord Ravenscar
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‘I could never live up to his standards. You deserved a son who could make you proud, sir. I would willingly have exchanged my life for his.’
‘No,’ his father said, shaking his head. ‘You make me proud, Paul. You might have gone off the rails, drinking and gambling—God knows, many would in your shoes. Instead, you buckled down to work and I know you have done well, for your commander wrote to me. He valued you, my son—and so do I.’
‘Father...’ Paul choked on the words, overwhelmed. ‘I wish it had been me... Mark should have been here to care for you and the estate.’
‘I would have given my life for him—for either of you. Mark was all that you say. But...if I speak only the truth, I believe you may be better placed to take care of the estate and our people. I have neglected them, Paul. In my grief, first for your mother and then for Mark. Oh, your cousin has done all that needed to be done, as far as it goes, but to be the lord of such an estate means more. The people need someone who cares for their welfare... I fear Mark was made for larger things.’
‘I do not understand you, Father?’
‘Mark would never have been happy to live here for long. He would have sought something more...politics or the London scene. He might have been a great general or a leader of men. I do not say he would have neglected the estate, but he spoke to me the day before he died...told me that he intended to ask you to help run the estate. I believe he had some idea of importing tea or some such thing. He was too restless a spirit to stay tamely at home.’
‘Mark wanted me to be his agent?’
‘Yes, I believe he had it in mind. He told me that he preferred an army life and would find it hard to settle in the country. I am not sure what he meant to do, for I think he was still considering his career. I know something troubled him, though he would not speak of it.’
‘I had no idea,’ Paul said and frowned. ‘Are you certain of this, Father?’
‘Yes. I always knew he would find it hard—this house, this land, they were not large enough for him, Paul. There was something in him that needed more and I think he might have grown discontent had he been forced to devote his life to the estate.’
Paul was bewildered, for he had always loved his home and liked nothing more than to ride its fields, to talk with the tenants and entertain his neighbours. This surely was a place of beauty and content, enough to make any man feel his life well spent in caring for the land and the people who worked it.
‘I am not sure what to think, sir. He said nothing of this to me—though I knew there was something on his mind. I...believed there was another woman, someone he loved, but could not marry for some reason.’
‘I dare say there may have been. He spoke vaguely of being uncertain of his own mind. I do not know what might have happened had he lived, for I think... I fear he may have discovered that he had made a mistake.’
‘A mistake? What can you mean?’
‘I believe he asked Miss Dawlish to marry him on the spur of the moment and then realised he did not truly wish to wed her. Naturally, he could not jilt her for he was above all a gentleman—but I think he was troubled. Had he lived...’
As his father sighed, Paul’s mind struggled to take in all that he had been told. It seemed that there were aspects of his brother that he had not suspected. If Mark did not particularly want to be the master of Ravenscar...if he had not truly loved Lucy...but, no, his father was mistaken. Any man fortunate to know Lucy, as Mark had, must love her.
‘I can hardly credit it,’ he said to his father. ‘I am sorry for it, if it is true—but Mark appeared to be so pleased with the world. He spoke of the wedding and of making the estate stronger, more prosperous.’
‘It was his intention to improve things, especially for our tenants,’ Lord Ravenscar said. ‘He spoke of pulling old cottages down and building new...and, as I said, I believe he hoped to make the money for these improvements by a venture into trade.’
‘As Adam and Hallam have with their wine importing,’ Paul said. ‘I do not think I have such bold ideas in my head, Father. I cannot see myself investing in cargoes or selling wine or tea. I think an improvement may be made to the land by new methods of farming—and I should like to breed horses if I can afford it.’
‘You are a countryman after my own heart,’ his father said and smiled. ‘It was my ambition to breed fine horses at one time, but I was too lazy. If you have your mother’s blood in you, you may achieve more, for she was always busy.’
‘You have never gambled your fortune away, sir, as many gentlemen do. I shall have no debts to settle, as my cousins did.’
‘I would have loaned them money, you know, but they were too proud to ask and in the end solved their own problems. I wish that I could have had more time with you, Paul—time to teach you things you should know, but Anders is a good man. He will help you...and Hallam knows the estate well.’
‘Hallam has done his share,’ Paul said. ‘I shall do well enough—and I still have you to guide me, sir.’
His father’s hand trembled a little on the bed. ‘I fear not for much longer, my son—but I shall die in peace now that I have seen you again. All I want is for you to be happy.’
‘I shall do my best to oblige you, sir. I shall make you proud of me and the estate will not suffer if I can prevent it.’
‘I know you will do all I could ask, my boy,’ his father said and smiled at him. ‘But it is not just the estate...you must find a wife to make you comfortable and you will need at least one son—more is always better.’ They were both silent, for they had ample cause to know what might happen to the rightful heir.
‘Yes, Father,’ Paul said, feeling a lump in his throat as his father lay back and closed his eyes. ‘I shall remember. I will look about for a comfortable wife...’
No answer came and he knew that his father was sleeping. He had wanted to say so much in a short time and it had exhausted him.
Paul felt the sting of tears. He feared that his father could not live many days, for his strength was failing, but God had given them this short time together. Lord Ravenscar had given him hope, because he felt he had his blessing. Somehow, their talk had eased his grief in a way that the months of self-imposed exile had not. He should have stayed here with his father, got to know him better...but at least they’d had this time together.
Mark would always be his hero, but the feeling of having always been inadequate had lessened. His father had not thought him a failure—he trusted him to take care of the estate and its people. Paul would not let him down...and he would look for a lady to make his wife. It was his duty to his father and to the estate.
He thought fleetingly of Lucy, then dismissed her from his mind. She would not look at him, but there were other ladies almost as lovely...and perhaps one of them would be happy to be his wife and give him the sons the estate needed.
Chapter Two
Pausing at the top of the landing that morning, as he heard the female voices in the hall below, Paul caught his breath. Surely that was Lucy’s voice? She must have come to visit his father.
He took a deep breath and went down the wide staircase, with its beautifully carved mahogany banisters. As he reached the bottom he paused and she turned her head towards him, making him catch his breath. He was surprised as he looked into her face and saw a stranger. It was Lucy, but not as he remembered her—her face was thinner, older, yet in a way even more lovely—but there was something different. The Lucy Dawlish he’d known had been so open, a trusting, lovely, lively girl who had chattered heedlessly and laughed all the time... This woman had an air of reserve about her...as if she were encased in a crystal, her thoughts and feelings shielded from public gaze.
‘Miss Dawlish,’ he said and held out his hand in greeting. ‘How pleasant to see you.’
‘Captain Ravenscar,’ she replied and made a slight curtsy. ‘I am glad to see you home at last. Your father must be happy that you have come back, I dare say.’
He felt her censure and frowned. He knew well enough that he had neglected both his father and the estate, but he did not care to hear it from her—and it was there in her manner and her eyes.
‘Yes, he is,’ Paul said. ‘It is good of you to enquire. Yesterday, when I arrived, he was very tired, but today he seems better. I sat with him for an hour and we talked of estate matters. If you will excuse me, I shall leave you and Jenny to talk. I have something to do that Father most particularly requested.’ He inclined his head to her and then glanced at Jenny. He gave Lucy a cool look, for he had retreated into that private place within him. She looked at him with eyes that saw too much and he needed to escape. ‘I shall not be at home for luncheon, Jenny—but I shall certainly be back for tea.’
‘Yes, of course, Paul,’ she said, smiling at him. ‘Adam should be home later this afternoon. I told you he had gone to London on business, but he will be so pleased to see you back where you belong.’
Paul nodded and went past them and out into the warm sunshine. It was a few moments before he felt the warmth, for he felt as if he were encased in ice. He was not sure whether he had behaved just as he ought, for it had been such a shock to see Lucy standing there looking so changed...but he hoped that he had said all that was polite to an old friend. She could never be anything more...and she was not the girl of his dreams.
What had happened to change her so? Had she grieved so deeply for his brother?
Walking swiftly towards the agent’s office, he thrust his feelings to the back of his mind. His father had asked him to ride out and speak with one of their farming tenants. The house needed a substantial repair to the roof and it was needful that it should be set in hand at once. Hallam had not made a decision on it before returning to his home, but now that Paul was back at Ravenscar, it would be his decision.
He must attend to business and forget the way his heart had hammered at the first sight of the woman he had once loved. It was his duty to think of the estate and to marry a sensible woman to provide an heir for the title. This foolish yearning must be put aside. Lucy was beyond him and so he must not think of her— besides, she was not the same.
‘Captain Ravenscar,’ Mr Anders said, looking up from his ledgers. ‘What may I do for you, sir?’
‘I have it in mind to take a look at Briars Farm,’ he said. ‘Will you ride out with me, Anders? I should like to see the work that needs to be done for myself...and then we shall set it in train. Now that I am home I intend to see that everything is as it ought to be.’
‘I shall be glad of it, sir. Major Ravenscar is a good man, but he has his own affairs and did not like to go too fast in case it was not in accordance with your wishes...and he would not trouble Lord Ravenscar more than necessary.’
‘My father has put the estate in my hands, as you know.’ Paul smiled, for he liked the honest cut of the man. ‘You shall advise me, sir—but it is my intention to improve the estate. There are many new ideas in agriculture now and we must investigate them...and our people must be properly housed.’
‘I am glad to hear it, sir,’ Anders said. ‘I have wanted to make changes for some time, but Lord Ravenscar was not interested in new methods. He said he was too old to change and it would be up to his sons to take up the new methods.’
‘Well, now we shall begin,’ Paul said. ‘Walk to the stables with me—unless you are too busy?’
‘Nothing that cannot wait,’ his agent said and reached for his hat. ‘It is a lovely day for a ride out.’
* * *
‘Will you not stay and take luncheon with me?’ Jenny said when Lucy came down from visiting Lord Ravenscar. ‘Paul will not be back and I would much rather have your company than eat alone.’
‘Yes, if you wish it,’ Lucy said and looked thoughtful. ‘So much has happened since you first came down here to stay with me, Jenny. You married Adam and you have your darling son. How lucky you were to fall in love with him.’
‘Yes, I am fortunate,’ Jenny said and studied her anxiously. ‘You look tired, Lucy. Are you not quite well?’
‘I am fine, thank you,’ Lucy replied, her hands curling at her sides as she fought her emotions. ‘I suppose it was a shock to see Paul so much changed. Of course he has been away months and people do change. I dare say I am changed myself...’
The way he’d looked at her...not seeing her, but looking through her as if she did not exist. It had felt like a knife stabbing her to the heart. How could he look at her so coldly—as if they had never been more than mere acquaintances?
‘Yes, you are a little,’ Jenny agreed. ‘You seem quieter, more thoughtful than you used to be, Lucy. I think you laughed and cried more easily before you left for Italy. I have not asked...was there no one that you liked? I thought you might marry.’
‘Oh, I liked a great many people and I might have married,’ Lucy said, ‘but I think I was still grieving. However, all that is at an end. I am determined to find a husband for myself as soon as I may. Mama is anxious for me and it is my duty to marry well.’
‘I am glad to hear it,’ Jenny said and laughed softly. She was a pretty girl and marriage agreed with her, the light from within bringing her eyes alive. ‘I should like you to be as happy as I am with Adam. You must look for someone handsome and kind...but the Season in London is sadly over for this year.’
‘Mama spoke of taking me to Bath,’ Lucy said. ‘Papa intends to give a little dance next month. I hope that you and Adam will come? You never know, I might find a gentleman locally who would offer for me—and I should prefer to live not too far distant from my parents. I am their only child, after all.’
‘I suppose that would be nice. I have no parents, of course, only an uncle and aunt. Lord Ravenscar is as dear to me as a father, for he has been so loving towards me. I shall be very sad when he leaves us.’
‘Is there no hope that he will recover now that Paul is home?’
‘I am not sure. The physicians say that it is only a matter of time, but I see an improvement in him. He has hung on this long because he wanted to see Paul again—and now he is home he may recover.’
‘I wish he will have a little longer,’ Lucy said. ‘It will be heartbreaking for Paul to lose his father too soon—though he ought to have returned sooner. I cannot imagine why he stayed away so long. It was thoughtless of him.’
‘I suppose that once he had accepted the commission with Wellington, he could not leave him until it was settled.’ Jenny frowned. ‘I believe he much regrets it now, but Lord Ravenscar is not resentful, merely pleased to have his son home.’
‘Yes...’ Lucy wrinkled her smooth brow. ‘He told me just now how proud he was of Paul for having stuck to his duty. He says that he knows Paul has many improvements in mind for the estate.’
‘Oh, yes,’ Jenny said and laughed. ‘He explained them to me last night in detail, but I fear that I was not truly attending. Jeffery was cutting a tooth and my mind was with him...but it all sounded very worthy and fine.’
‘Poor Jenny.’ Lucy laughed and her face lit up. All at once she looked beautiful again, the sorrows of the past months somehow sloughed off as her eyes danced with amusement. ‘You must have missed Adam very much, for they could have talked business together.’
‘Yes, indeed,’ Jenny agreed. ‘I like Paul very well, but farming is not my forte and I could not help listening for little Jeffrey. Nurse is very good, but he does cry so...and she will not pick him up, because she says it spoils him. I think she does not like it when I do.’
‘Oh, that is unkind, but I know many nurses feel the same,’ Lucy said sympathetically. ‘If I had a child, I believe I should pick him up when he cried—even if his nurse did not agree with the practice.’
‘Well, I do,’ Jenny said. ‘Nurse scolds me, but I do not care. He is my son and I shall tend him when he cries no matter what anyone says.’ She offered her hand to Lucy. ‘Will you come up and see him now?’
‘Yes, I should love to and I shall stay to luncheon, Jenny. Mama knew that I might be more than an hour or so and will not worry.’
‘I shall send your groom to tell her that you will not be home until later,’ Jenny assured her. ‘And you shall ride home in my carriage.’
* * *
Lucy thoroughly enjoyed the time she spent with her friend, for they caught up on all the things that had happened to them in the intervening months. Their exchanges made them laugh and Lucy felt better than she had in a long time. By the time Jenny’s husband walked into the salon with another gentleman, she was smiling much in her old way.
‘Adam!’ Jenny sprang to her feet and ran towards him, hands outstretched. ‘How good it is to see you, my love. Did you have a comfortable journey?’
‘Very,’ he replied and kissed her lightly on the lips. ‘I have brought a guest to stay for a while, Jenny. His name is George and he is the Earl of Daventry—and he was so obliging as to sell me a horse. We knew each other in the army, but have not met for...oh, more than three years... That was before George became the earl, of course.’
‘Mrs Miller,’ the stranger said and bowed his head to her. ‘I had heard Adam had married a lovely young woman, but I could not have guessed how beautiful.’
He was an assured man, well built with dark eyes and hair, his mouth a little thin when in repose, but nothing could have exceeded his affability.
‘You flatter me, sir,’ Jenny said. ‘Forgive me, my lord—I must make you known to my friend, Miss Lucy Dawlish...’ Lucy rose to her feet and made a little curtsy. ‘Lucy, the Earl of Daventry.’
‘I believe we have met once before, sir, quite briefly—in Paris.’
‘Indeed, we have, Miss Dawlish,’ Daventry agreed with a smile oozing with charm as he took her hand and bent his head to kiss it. ‘I never forget a face...especially one as lovely as yours.’
‘I think you flatter me,’ Lucy said and laughed, for he was a handsome man, his manners and bearing pleasing. ‘If you speak the truth, you hardly noticed me the night we were introduced. You were a little preoccupied...’
‘Was I?’ His dark eyes narrowed for a moment and then he laughed. ‘Yes, I believe you were right—I was, in fact, a trifle the worse for drink. I had lost a fortune the previous night...but I did recall you, Miss Dawlish, upon my word I did.’
‘I shall believe you, sir,’ she replied and laughed up at him. He was a head taller than Adam, his build classical and elegant, in that he had the physique of a Greek god and his hair was very black against his pale skin. He was dressed in a dark-blue coat that must have been made by Weston or perhaps Scott, for it had a military look, his pale breeches fitting to strong legs and encased in fine topboots. On his right hand he wore a signet on the third finger and a gold pin in his snowy cravat, but his clothes were plain in every other respect.
‘I swear I would not lie,’ he declared, but his eyes held a wicked gleam that made her laugh once more and shake her head.
‘I must have a room prepared for you,’ Jenny said, ‘and then we shall have tea.’
‘I asked Halstead to see to the room,’ Adam said. ‘Pray ring for tea, my dear. George may use my dressing room for the moment if he wishes to refresh himself.’
‘I am quite content here for the moment, if the ladies will excuse me coming to their parlour with all the dirt of the road upon me?’
‘Of course,’ Jenny said. ‘As you see, my husband does not scruple and I wish only to make you both comfortable after your long ride. Please take a seat, sir, and tea shall be brought, by which time your room will be ready for you.’
‘I should be going, Jenny,’ Lucy said. ‘If you will send for the carriage...’
‘You must not leave yet, enchantress,’ Lord Daventry protested, his eyes giving her a look of admiration that made her blush. ‘I entreat you, stay and drink a dish of tea with us.’
‘Yes, you must,’ Jenny agreed. ‘I told your groom to inform Lady Dawlish that you would return after tea. Please do, Lucy.’
‘Very well, if you wish it,’ Lucy said. ‘I thought only to leave you with your guest.’
‘If only you also had been a guest here,’ Daventry said and sighed eloquently. ‘I shall hope that your home is not too far distant so that I may pay a call on your dear mama.’
‘It is less than half an hour on horseback,’ Lucy began just as Paul entered the large parlour. She caught her breath and could not continue as he stood just inside the door, his eyes moving over the little group, a slight frown on his brow. His was a brooding presence, his lean frame in marked contrast to the build of the earl, his features dark and graven.
‘Paul...’ Adam saw him and strode to greet him, offering his hand. ‘I am glad you are home. You have seen your father?’
‘Yes. I thank you for your care of him, Cousin,’ Paul replied. ‘It was good of you and Jenny to come here at such short notice.’
‘Hallam asked if we could visit with Lord Ravenscar, for he was called away,’ Adam replied. ‘Indeed, it is Jenny who has sat with him and helped to nurse him—I have been somewhat preoccupied with other things...but now that you are home, we shall leave in a few days.’
‘I wish you will not,’ Paul said. ‘As you know, I have no wife and my father needs a lady to care for him if he is not to be left to the maids. Please make yourselves at home for as long as you wish.’
‘We shall stay, then,’ Adam said. ‘I’ve brought a friend to visit for a few days, Paul. Daventry wishes to look at some of my horses.’
‘You are welcome, sir,’ Paul said and inclined his head. ‘I fear there is little to entertain you here, for my father is ill and we do not invite guests—or only close friends—but any friends of Adam’s are always welcome.’
Daventry went to shake hands with him, looking suitably grave.
‘Adam told me the situation. I am on my way home and came to bear him company, and to look at a horse he mentioned. I do not expect to be entertained, Captain Ravenscar.’
‘You know me, sir?’
‘We met briefly in Vienna. You had just arrived and I was about to leave for London. I dare say you hardly saw me, for I think...you seemed much caught by your own thoughts.’
‘Yes, I dare say I was at that time,’ Paul said stiffly. ‘Forgive me, I must visit my father. I shall have my tea with him, Jenny. I will see you at dinner—Miss Dawlish, your servant.’ He nodded his head curtly and left.
Lucy sensed that he had withdrawn behind a barrier, his eyes distant, as if he hardly saw any of them...especially her.
‘Paul...’ she breathed, but in a voice that carried only as far as the gentleman sitting next to her.
‘You must find me in the way. Perhaps I should leave in the morning...’ Daventry began as Paul went out, but Adam shook his head.
‘No, no, that is not at all the case. Lord Ravenscar bid me treat his house as my own and I assure you that he would not object to my inviting a guest. Paul is a little out of sorts, you understand. I insist you stay for at least two days, as we planned.’
‘Well, if you insist, Adam,’ Daventry said. ‘I shall use my time to make the acquaintance of my new friend.’ His gaze lingered on Lucy with pleasure, bringing a flush to her cheeks.
She had been enjoying his conversation, but Paul’s sudden arrival, his coldness and the look he had given her had wiped the smile from her lips. Was he thinking that she had intruded by staying all day to talk with Jenny? Or did he include her as an old friend? She could not be certain and wished that she had insisted on leaving before Paul returned. She would not for the world have him think she presumed on old acquaintance.
However, she could not leave now without making a fuss. It was not easy to recover the pleasure she’d found in the company of her friends, for she had sensed Paul’s resentment. This was his home and, although he had welcomed the earl and insisted that Adam and Jenny remain, he had refused to have tea with them.