Candlelit Christmas Kisses: Captain Moorcroft's Christmas Bride / Governess Under the Mistletoe
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‘Your mama’s maid’s tisane? Yes, he swallowed that earlier and seemed better for at least half an hour. Then the fever returned and seemed more intense.’
‘I daresay the fever will wane and then return several times,’ Selina replied, while fetching cool water from the washstand. ‘They always seem to be so much worse at night, I find. Please go and take some rest for yourself. I have eaten, and I will have a cold supper later.’
‘Thank you. I am most grateful for your help—and Robert will be too when he recovers … if …’
Selina turned and saw that Henry was in great distress. ‘Oh, you poor man. You care for him so much, do you not?’
‘He is my brother and my saviour and my friend.’
‘As you are his, I imagine,’ Selina said, and nodded. ‘I cannot tell you that he is not very ill, for he is—but I have seen fevers like this before, and they are not always fatal. If one is devoted in one’s nursing, the outcome can be a complete recovery.’
‘What should we have done had you not been here?’ Henry smiled at her and went out, leaving her to continue her work alone.
When the door had closed behind him, Selina pulled the bedcovers right back. The Earl was completely naked, and for a moment she felt heat suffuse her cheeks, but she placed a cloth over his private parts and began her task. Another cloth was dipped in cool water and wrung out. She began to bathe his chest, arms, shoulders and his long legs, not forgetting his rather beautiful feet. Her papa’s feet had not been so perfectly shaped, but then every part of this man’s body was glorious—and she should not be thinking such naughty things when the poor darling was so ill.
Selina had been the one to nurse her father when he was ill, just before that last fatal trip to London. She’d sometimes thought that if she had not nursed him so devotedly, he might not have gone off to the card tables and ruined them, but that was a wicked thought and she banished it firmly. Her mother had mentioned the possibility more than once.
‘If he’d died of his fever, Selina, you and the girls would have been so much better off. I have so little to leave you.’
‘Hush, Mama, you do not mean it,’ Selina had soothed her. Of course Mama had not meant it, but the fact remained that Papa’s reckless last fling had ruined their lives.
‘Juanita …’
A sobbing cry from Moorcroft’s lips brought Selina’s thoughts back to the moment. She had finished her bathing and drying and covered him with a sheet and a thin blanket. She placed a hand on his forehead. He was thankfully a little cooler.
‘Please … do not die … I cannot bear it … I don’t want to punish you but I have to … Forgive me …’
‘Hush, dearest one,’ Selina said, and bent over him. She hesitated, then bent to brush her lips over his cheek. ‘I am here. I do not know what troubles you, but you must rest. You are safe now. I shall not let you die. I promise you will be better soon.’
She felt him relax under her soothing hand. His hands unclenched and he lay back with a sigh.
‘That’s it, my brave hero,’ she said, and kissed his lips lightly. ‘You’ve suffered so much, but I shan’t let you die. You must live—think of my poor sisters. If you were selfish enough to die, they would be so miserable—and poor Henry would be heartbroken. Surely you cannot be so selfish as to inflict such pain on us at Christmas?’
‘Mama …’ Robert murmured, and a smile touched his mouth. ‘Do not scold me, Mama. I did not mean to let the boar in with the sows …’
Selina smiled as she realised that her scolding tone had taken him back to his childhood. That was good, for it meant he dwelt in a time before he had known so much suffering and pain.
‘Well, I shall scold you, you foolish man,’ she said. ‘If you do not take your medicine and get better soon, you will find me a hard taskmaster.’
‘I’ll be good, Mama,’ he said, and she saw that he had drifted into a peaceful sleep.
‘You must not worry too much, Henry,’ Amy said as they ate a rather solemn supper in the smaller dining parlour. ‘Selina is the best nurse you could find. The doctor said that Mama would have died years before she did had my sister not cared for her so lovingly.’
‘Yes, I could see she was quite capable,’ Henry said, and a slightly wicked smile lit his eyes. ‘Robert has been ill many times, Miss Amy. He is actually very strong—but difficult as a patient. I’ve sometimes had to use force to get him to swallow his medicine.’
‘I thought you told Selina …’ Amy stopped and stared at him, understanding dawning in her eyes. ‘You pretended he was worse than he is—didn’t you?’
‘No such thing. When I spoke to her, I was truly concerned, but she has already worked her magic,’ Henry said.
‘I think she enjoys looking after him. It might be the very thing for them both.’
‘ Now what are you thinking, Miss Amy?’
‘Only that they are both lonely people—would you not say so?’
‘Robert needs to be loved and brought back from the shadows,’ Henry said, and looked thoughtful. ‘They have haunted him for too long. I do not have the right to tell you the whole story, Amy—but he has suffered as no man should.’
‘Yes, you can see it in his eyes sometimes,’ Amy agreed. She paused, then, ‘I think you have also suffered, sir.’
‘I almost died on the field of battle, and after in the surgeon’s tent. Robert saved my life, and my scars have ceased to cause me pain. I have accepted that I am ugly, and I can live with it. I have discovered that it means little to true friends.’
‘No—how could it?’ Amy said, and smiled at him in a most beguiling manner. ‘All it means is that you are a very brave man, sir. I think I should not like to go to war and see the things you and the earl have seen.’
‘I thank God for it that you have not,’ Henry replied, looking grim. ‘War is no place for ladies, Amy. Even those who have the courage to follow the drum run terrible risks—and if they die, their deaths are more terrible to bear than all the rest. The cruelty of some men shames us all—and Robert more than most, since he was their captain.’
‘Is that what happened to the earl?’ Amy shook her head. ‘No, do not tell me. I am not a complete innocent, Henry. I can imagine the things that might happen to a woman who finds herself caught up in war. I think people do terrible things when they are seized by bloodlust.’
‘And what do you know of such things?’ His eyes had begun to sparkle again. ‘Don’t tell me—Millie read a book about the Vikings and their berserker madness, did she not?’
‘Yes, of course. My sister and I are both very interested in history, which is why we were excited to come here to live. The books Millie reads are far beyond her years, and not at all suitable for a very young lady. You would think she would have nightmares, but not a bit of it. She adores reading about the most awful things, and she is wonderful at telling ghost stories at Christmas. If the earl is better, we may be in for a treat, because I’m certain she will be inspired by the Yule log.’
‘Your sister is wise beyond her years—indeed, you are a remarkable family. Each one of you is unique and quite outstanding.’
‘Selina could have devoted her life to the sick in another life,’ Amy said. ‘And Millie should be a professor of history at a university if she were a man—and what should I be? I lack my sisters’ talents, I think …’
‘In my opinion you lack nothing,’ Henry said. ‘But I shall not tell you what I think, for you will blush and tell me I am flattering you.’
Amy laughed. ‘You are the one blushing, Henry, and I am a wretch to tease you when your friend is so very ill.’
‘No, no—do not apologise. Your laughter has eased me, and despite a little exaggeration to your sister, the fact remains. Robert does have a nasty fever—and such fevers have been known to kill even strong men.’
‘Not when my sister is in charge,’ Amy said confidently. ‘She has such plans for Christmas, because she is determined to make up to us for all the sadness we have endured these past months. I am certain she will bully the poor man into getting well. Selina can be a very dragon when she likes, you know.’
‘And there was me thinking she was an angel,’ Henry said, and laughed softly.
‘Oh, she is that too,’ Amy said, with the affection that never lay far from the surface. ‘But do not make the mistake of thinking she is as mild and gentle as she appears. The earl will discover that when she says “swallow your medicine”, he will swallow if he knows what is good for him.’
Henry laughed. ‘I almost pity him,’ he said. ‘Yet again I think it may be exactly what he needs to bring him back from the shadows.’
CHAPTER SIX
‘SHE is worse than Major Barton,’ Robert grumbled when Henry brought water to shave him some days later. ‘I tell you, Nor, you have no idea what she’s put me through this past week. I have been forced to swallow the vilest stuff imaginable, made to wake up and eat gruel when I wanted to sleep—and refused decent food. If I don’t get out of this bed soon, I shall murder her.’
‘That’s better,’ Henry said, and grinned at him. ‘You are feeling stronger at last. Shall I tell her I can manage alone now? I know she can be a dragon at times. I have it on the highest authority.’
‘Who told you that? Miss Millie or Amy?’ Robert scowled at him. ‘Do you know that she has been bathing me with cool water—stripping me off and washing my body while I was in that fever. Damn it, I wasn’t wearing a stitch. What does that say for her modesty?’
‘Did she not cover your … er … private parts?’
‘Well, yes, she said so when I told her she was behaving in a most improper way for a spinster lady.’
‘So you came to your senses at an awkward moment, did you?’ Henry’s eyes sparkled with humour. ‘What did she answer you?’
‘She said that I need not fear for my modesty and implied that she was indifferent to my person, for a patient has no sex and they are all the same to her. Apparently she has nursed her father, her mother, her sisters—and one occasion one of the male servants.’
‘I trust you will not repeat that in company?’ Henry said. ‘What Selina may have said to you in confidence she would not wish known to others.’
‘Selina, is it?’ Robert glared at him. ‘Just what has been going on while I’ve been out of it?’
‘Nothing untoward,’ Henry said with serene indifference. ‘As for Selina—she is a perfect angel. I daresay you might have died if she had not been so devoted in her nursing.’
‘Nonsense! You would have pulled me through. You’ve done it in the past.’
‘You’ve never been quite as ill as you were that first night. I was truly worried until Selina took charge, but you soon rallied once she had cooled you down. Your fever came back three times, but between us we sat with you every moment of the day and night.’
‘Well, it was generous of her to give up so much time,’ Robert conceded grumpily. ‘I daresay she would have rather been preparing for Christmas.’
‘Yes, I imagine she might—especially since you started to get better and complained nonstop every time she gave you medicine.’
‘Well, it stops today,’ Robert said, a grim expression in his eyes. ‘I refuse to be treated like a naughty boy. Do you know what she said to me this morning?’
‘Pray enlighten me. I know you will …’ Henry turned away to hide his smile.
‘She said that I was a selfish man to be ill, and she was not going to let me spoil Christmas for her sisters by dying on her.’
‘Yes, I’ve heard her tell you that a few times,’ Henry said, and nearly choked as he tried to hide his amusement. ‘Sorry, I’ve got a tickle in my throat, I think.’
‘Well, don’t be ill,’ Robert warned. ‘She will make you pay for it, Nor. I’m telling you …’
‘You cannot mean it,’ Henry said. ‘At one time you were calling her your mama.’
‘I was off my head—and she scolded me just the way Mama did when I was ill as a child, after I went swimming in the river and caught a chill.’
‘I thought you didn’t catch chills?’
‘I don’t—haven’t for years.’ Robert glared at him. ‘You can take that grin off your face and help me get up. I’ll shave myself. It seems she’s got you all under her thumb.’
‘If you feel able to …’ Henry invited, and stood back.
Robert pushed the covers off, swung his legs over the edge and put his feet to the floor. When he stood up, he felt a most unpleasant sensation, as if the floor were rushing up to him, and sat down abruptly, cursing.
‘I’m as weak as a kitten.’
‘The doctor said you should stay in bed for two weeks.’
‘Damned if I will. It’s only just over two weeks to Christmas, and I’ve things to do, Nor.’
‘Miss Selina said that was rubbish. She thinks you should try sitting in a chair by the window today and see how you are tomorrow,’ Henry said gleefully.
‘Oh, she does, does she?’ Robert threw him a look calculated to kill at ten paces. ‘Well, as it happens, I don’t feel like getting up today. I shall stay in bed—and you may shave me this time.’
‘Whatever you say,’ Henry said, and hid his smile. ‘Shall I bring you something to read? Or would you prefer to work on your accounts?’
‘Trying to give me a headache? You can bring me a book—poetry or history or something of the kind. It’s ages since I bothered to read anything other than the news sheets.’
‘I’ll see what I can find,’ Henry promised. ‘And when I’ve shaved you, I’ll get you a plate of good beef and some pickles, if you fancy it.’
‘Thank you,’ Robert said, and laughed. ‘How do you put up with me, Nor?’
‘When you’re ill, with great difficulty,’ his friend said. ‘I’ll bring you some food, but you must eat it at once so I can take the tray away, or Selina will have me put on a court martial …’
‘He wanted to get up but decided to stay in bed for at least today,’ Henry said when he took the empty tray back to the kitchen and found Selina there, in the middle of stirring a rich cake mixture. ‘He has cleared his tray, as you see.’
‘How did you manage that?’ Selina looked up and smiled. ‘I am relieved to hear he is being sensible at last. When he banned me from his bedchamber, I thought he meant to get up to spite me.’
‘Oh, it was easy enough,’ Henry said, but refrained from telling her how Robert had grumbled about her. ‘I think he will begin to get stronger now, and I daresay he will be down soon enough.’
‘We’ve had several visitors asking after him,’ Selina said. ‘I was obliged to say I wasn’t sure how he went on and to tell them that you were his nurse, as you have been much of the time.’
‘Very sensible of you,’ Henry said. ‘I think the reason he was so annoyed was because he thought he might have compromised you. Should it become common knowledge, you might suffer some loss of reputation, Selina.’
‘It hardly matters for my sake. Since I shall be seeking a position as housekeeper, my ability as a nurse will not be held against me. I care only for my sisters’ sake. If Amy or Millie were to be harmed …’ She shook her head. ‘How can anyone outside the house ever know? No one calls in the evenings, and I have been downstairs during the day. Besides, Jobis cared for him much of the time once he began to recover. I made it clear to our visitors that the two households are separate.’
‘Yes, so Amy told me. The arrangement may be unconventional, but it is not unknown for two households to live separately in one large house. If the door was locked at our side of the library, no one would ever know how easy it is to go from one to the other.’
‘We must remember that when we have guests,’ Selina said. ‘Tomorrow is Millie’s birthday. She told me she hoped the earl would be well enough to dine with us but I wasn’t sure. I shall, of course, leave his nursing to you now that he is through the crisis, but we shall hope that you at least will come. Millie would be disappointed if you did not.’
‘I shall certainly be there, even if Robert cannot manage it,’ Henry assured her. ‘Jobis can take his meal up if I am otherwise occupied. I am not certain Robert will make it downstairs by then, but I think he has a gift for Millie—as do I.’
‘You really shouldn’t,’ Selina said, looking and feeling delighted. ‘How very kind. She does set great store by her birthday, though I’ve told her she ought not.’
‘Your sister is refreshingly honest,’ Henry said. ‘How much easier life would be if everyone were as open and natural as Millie.’
‘Well, yes, I suppose so,’ Selina said, and laughed. ‘We never have a dull day with her. She was subdued when Mama was ill, and she cried as much as any of us when she died—but she recovered quickly and bounced back to her normal self. She says that Mama told her not to be unhappy, because she would be with Papa and the babies she lost. Millie firmly believes that heaven is a beautiful place, where the sun shines and birds sing.’
‘It will be a shame when she loses that innocence.’
‘Yes. I remember I was much the same until I was sixteen.’
Henry’s gaze narrowed, intent on her face. ‘Did something happen when you were sixteen?’
‘I fell in love,’ Selina said, and smiled. ‘For one night I was gloriously happy, because I thought he loved me too—but the next day he passed me without seeing me. He went away and I never saw him again.’
‘And did that break your heart?’
Selina considered. ‘I felt hurt when he ignored me, but then decided he had not seen me. It was such a foolish incident, and yet for some time I believed my bold hero would come galloping back, sweep me up on his horse and ride off with me into the sunset. Then Mama took a turn for the worse, Papa started to gamble recklessly—perhaps because he could not bear to sit at home and see her fading—and I finally grew up.’
‘Yes, very understandable,’ Henry said, managing to look mildly interested instead of hanging on her every word, as he actually was. ‘Do you ever think of him now?’
‘The memory still makes me smile,’ Selina replied. ‘Should we ever meet again, we should be different people, of course—older and wiser. I am not suffering from a broken heart, sir. That would be nonsensical. No, no—I remember it as a young girl’s dream. My dreams today are very different.’
‘Would I intrude if I asked what they were?’
‘Not at all,’ Selina said with a smile. ‘Now I think of my sisters. I hope that Amy will make a good marriage. She would shine in society given the chance. And as for Millie—well, I hope to find a good home for her, and to be able to send her to a school where her thirst for knowledge would be answered. She had a governess until Papa died. Since then I’ve given her lessons in drawing, dancing and the pianoforte, but she needs no urging to learn.’
‘Your wishes for her are creditable,’ Henry said. ‘You know that there is no pianoforte here, of course? I realise you have a spinet, but you must wish for more musical instruments. The late earl had them all removed when his wife died.’
‘Yes, Trent told me something of the sort. I believe he actually had his wife’s pianoforte smashed to pieces when in the first flush of his grief.’
‘He could not bear anyone else to touch it. If Robert were to take up residence here, I think he would need to purchase an instrument.’
‘Yes, for it is pleasant to play to one’s guests in the evening, or have them play to you.’
‘I must speak to him. It would be good to have one in time for Christmas, and one could be delivered from Long Melford in two days. We brought several fine things with us from Italy and from France, but mostly art, statues and furniture. Robert had some idea of hiring a house while this was pulled down and rebuilt. Now I am not quite sure what decision he has made concerning his future.’
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