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“I think you’re overestimating your talents. I don’t approve. And I don’t think Erik would approve either. And your parents certainly wouldn’t.”
She stepped back, avoiding his touch. Annie thought that Gabe, of all people, would understand what she was trying to do. “Well, luckily I’m a grown woman and I don’t need anyone’s approval. Besides, I need an adventure. I spent five long years sitting at home, waiting for my husband, wondering when our life was going to begin. And then he was gone, and all that waiting was for nothing. I need to go out and find my own adventures in life, not wait around for someone to bring them to me.”
“Annie, this is dangerous for two people, let alone one. Anything could happen out there. And no one would be able to help you.”
“Of course it’s dangerous. It wouldn’t be an adventure if it wasn’t a little dangerous. But maybe I need some danger in my life. Maybe I wouldn’t feel quite so numb.” Annie’s anger went from a simmer to a boil. Who did he think he was? Sure, he may have helped her out for a few weeks after Erik’s funeral. And maybe they had agreed to be friends. But what right did he have to make decisions about how she ran the rest of her life?
“Maybe it would be better if you didn’t stay here,” she murmured. “I...I have work to do. You know the way out.”
With that, she turned on her heel and strode out the door. As she walked back to the office, she realized that the parents were starting to arrive for the last-day picnic. She’d have to paste on her friendliest smile and pretend that everything was just fine.
“Annie!”
“Go away,” she shouted. “I can’t talk now. I’m too busy.”
“You don’t look busy to me,” Gabe said.
“Well, you don’t know anything about me. I’m not surprised you think that.”
Annie yanked open the screen door and walked into the kitchen, only to find the camp cook, Sarah Martin, hard at work on the lunch for the campers. Cursing to herself, she walked through to the front room, which was stacked high with boxes of T-shirts and foul-weather gear, all imprinted with the school’s logo.
She distractedly began to sort them. Hopefully, Gabe had taken the hint and headed for his car. But when she heard the screen door slam, she knew that the argument would probably continue.
Annie heard his footsteps in the hall, and a few seconds later he appeared in the wide archway. He stared at her for a long moment, then raked his hands through his hair. “You know, right after you and Erik got married, he took me aside and made me promise that if anything happened to him that I’d watch over you. And I agreed. And if I had married, he would have done the same thing for me. I take that promise very seriously, Annie.”
“Well, I absolve you of your responsibility. Whatever promises you made are hereby canceled.”
“It’s not that simple,” he said.
“Yes, it is. I’m going to make that trip, and you can’t stop me.”
Gabe crossed the room to stand in front of her. “All right, here’s the deal. Over the next couple months, we’re going to take the Honeymoon out on a series of shakedown cruises. We’ll get the boat operating properly for a single-handed sailor, and I’ll make sure that I’m confident that you can handle her in rough weather.”
“I’m a better sailor than you are,” she snapped.
“Yes, I know that. If everything is cool, I’ll be waving goodbye to you from the dock.”
It wasn’t a bad deal, Annie thought to herself. She was confident in her abilities as a sailor. And it would be nice to have some help in the shakedown phase, since there would probably be more than enough work for the two of them.
“All right,” she said.
“We’ve come to an agreement?”
Annie nodded.
Gabe grinned. “All right, then.” He glanced around the room. “Is there anything you need help with? I can give you a hand with the picnic. Or maybe put these boxes away.”
“No, I’m fine.”
Gabe reached out and took her hands in his, giving her fingers a squeeze. “There’s nothing wrong with asking for a little help now and then.” He slowly drew her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of her wrist.
Annie held her breath as a rush of warmth snaked up her arm. His dark hair had fallen across his brow, and she reached out and brushed it from his eyes. She could feel her heart beating in her chest as they stared at each other for a long moment.
“I should probably go take a look at that apartment,” he murmured.
“Yes, you should,” she said, letting her fingers drift down his temple and cheek.
Gabe turned into her touch and she froze, her fingers splayed on his jaw. Slowly, he bent forward and Annie knew that he wanted to kiss her. But after the last time, would he stop himself? Or would he give in to his impulse?
In the end, Annie decided to take things into her own hands. Pushing up on her toes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a long, delicious kiss. It had been over a year since she’d kissed a man with any type of passion. Her first kiss with Gabe had been so sudden she hadn’t had a chance to figure out what it was all about.
But this kiss was different. She’d show him exactly who was in charge here. She made all the decisions in her life, including when to kiss him. Annie hadn’t intended to let the kiss go on as long as it had, but now that they were well into it, she wasn’t sure how to bring it to a graceful end.
Gabe’s hands drifted down from her waist to her hips, and he held her there as he pressed her back against the doorjamb. Her body had gone from pleasantly warm to alarmingly ablaze in just a few seconds. She couldn’t seem to catch her breath, and her knees felt like they were about to collapse beneath her.
“I should probably go,” he whispered, his lips warm against her neck.
“You should,” she said.
He leaned into her, his hips meeting hers in a provocative dance. “I’m going to go.”
“Yes,” Annie said. “Goodbye.”
His tongue tangled with hers, leaving her lips damp with the taste of him. “Bye,” he said.
Gabe lingered for a few minutes longer before he finally stepped away. His gaze searched her face, and Annie managed a coy smile. Though they’d both talked of friendship, it was becoming more than obvious that there was something more happening between them.
She drew a deep breath and waited for the guilt to assail her. But the only feeling she could manage was breathless anticipation. She liked kissing him and guessed that he felt the same way. And she enjoyed running those moments over and over again in her head.
In truth, she’d been spending far too much time thinking about Gabe and his handsome face and sexy mouth and killer body. There was definitely an attraction between them, Annie couldn’t deny that any longer. So what had changed? Where had the guilt gone? Was it being overwhelmed by the excitement of the moment? Would it suddenly reappear and make her feel even worse for the thoughts that ran through her head?
Maybe if she spent a little more time kissing him, she’d be able to figure it all out.
* * *
GABE STOOD AT the end of the pier, staring out at the cluster of J-22s maneuvering around a buoy a half mile away. The wind was brisk but warm, and the bay had a scent that was so familiar to his senses that it brought memories swirling forth in his mind.
As a kid, he’d worked his father’s lobster boat and was well-acquainted with waters off the coast of Maine. But the Chesapeake was different, a spot where freshwater and salt water met. The shoreline was gentle and rolling with thick forests, so different from the rocky coastline of Maine.
A small motorboat ran alongside the sailboat race, and he could make out Annie behind the wheel. She was shouting instructions to the race participants as they tacked back and forth against the wind.
The more he got to know her, the more he found to admire. Everything she did, she did at one hundred percent, throwing herself headfirst into life as if she’d learned to appreciate every day.
It wasn’t surprising, considering the loss she’d experienced. She thought her life had been perfectly planned ahead of her. It was impossible to fathom a future without her husband, so she’d never even considered it a possibility.
He’d only seen the marriage from one side, and he hadn’t always liked it. But now Gabe was beginning to understand the other side, the fierce loyalty that Annie had toward Erik, the unconditional love that made it impossible for her to accept his passing.
It had been over a year since they’d shared that first kiss, and for the first time Gabe was hopeful that she was ready to move on with her life. Last weekend, she’d actually kissed him, and in the intervening days, Gabe had decided that her actions had been a definite sign. The attraction between them wasn’t just one-sided.
In truth, he’d tried to keep things purely platonic, not willing to risk losing her over some silly torch he’d been carrying. But now things had shifted between them and he had cause to hope that there might be something more in their future. Sure, she’d been adamant about rejecting a man in the military. But could her views on that be softening?
He watched as the small motorboat split away from the sailboats and headed toward the dock. As she approached, he kept his eyes fixed on her, watching as her pale hair whipped around her face in the breeze.
She deftly pulled the vintage boat up to the dock and tossed him a line. “Get in. I’ll take you for a ride.”
“Don’t you have to watch your students?”
“There’s a counselor with each boat. They’ll bring them in after the race.”
He jumped in beside her, the line in his hand. “This is a really nice boat. You don’t see too many of these anymore.”
“My dad restored it. It’s great for waterskiing.” She pulled away from the dock and thrust the throttle forward. In a few seconds, they were skimming across the smooth surface of the bay, a soft spray coming up from the bow.
He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of the sun on his face. Gabe felt the boat veer to the left, and he opened his eyes and saw them approaching a spot on the shore. “Where are we going?” he asked.
“I wanted to show you something,” she said. “When I was a kid, we used to come out here and play. It was like our own fortress. Take the line and go up on the bow. I’ll pull it in close, and just hop out and tie us to a tree.”
Gabe did as he was told. When the boat was secure, he held out his hand and helped Annie out. She started into the woods and he followed, wondering what she could possibly have to show him. Before long, they were hiking on a well-worn path, and up ahead he could see sunlight shining through the trees.
Birds sang overhead and the sound of the breeze ruffling the trees provided a pleasant counterpoint. A few seconds later they stepped into a clearing. Shafts of sunlight illuminated an abandoned stone church, the roof long ago caved in and the windows gone.
“Wow,” he said, stepping inside the front doorway. Wildflowers grew up from where the floor used to be, and a rabbit skittered through the lush greenery. Vines hung from the walls, nearly obscuring the old windows. “What is this?”
“There was a settlement here, back in the 1700s,” Annie said. “The whole village was burned to the ground when the church was struck by lightning. The people were too superstitious to rebuild, so they just scattered to other towns along the western shore.” She walked along the wall and then found a spot. “Here it is.”
Gabe stepped to her side and squatted to see some letters carved into one of the stones. “A.F. plus E.J. Annie Foster and Erik Jennings.” Gabe smiled. “He told me about this. This is where he proposed to you.”
Annie smiled and nodded. “It was really wonderful, but it didn’t go perfectly. He set up a little dinner with champagne and candlelight. And then he came back to the house to get me. But by the time we got back, then sun was going down and the mosquitoes were vicious. And when we got here, a raccoon was sitting in the middle of the table, enjoying our dinner. All we had left was the champagne. So he got down on one knee and asked me. And that was that. We carved our initials in the stone and ran back to the boat, the mosquitoes chasing us the whole way.”
“It’s a good story,” Gabe said.
“It is,” she said with a wistful smile. “I always thought I’d tell it to our children and grandchildren someday.” She walked over to one of the windows and stood in a shaft of light. “When I first got home, I used to come out here and talk to him. All the memories were so fresh and vivid and...perfect. I could still hear his voice.” She sighed softly. “Now the memories are vivid, but they’re also real. It’s not just a romantic proposal anymore. Now the mosquitos and the raccoon are part of it.”
“Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to happen?” he asked. “It helps you cope with your loss. Let’s you move on.”
“It’s happening so fast,” Annie said. Her voice grew soft and hesitant. “There are times when I can’t remember him at all.”
Gabe took a step toward her and reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. “You’ll never forget him entirely.”
“But he’ll be replaced. Like he is now.”
Gabe frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Her body trembled slightly, and she shook her head. “All I can think about is your hand on my shoulder. How good it feels to be touched again. How every time you touch me, even in the most innocent way, I seem to get all warm and breathless. My heart starts pounding, and the only person I can think about is you.”
The confession seemed to take everything out of her, and for a moment he thought she was about to cry. Gabe drew her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. “What do you want me to do?”
Annie pulled out of his embrace, turning on him and holding her hands out in defense. “I don’t know. I don’t want to forget him. But the more time I spend with you, the harder it is.” She forced a smile. “We should go. It’s getting late.”
“No, we should talk about this,” Gabe insisted. “If this is going to be a problem, we can’t just ignore it.”
“Sure we can,” Annie said with a laugh. She turned and scampered out of the old church.
Gabe followed her, stumbling through the thick brush. He finally caught her at the water’s edge and grabbed her waist, pulling her back into his arms.
She stared up at him, breathless, the color high in her cheeks. He couldn’t remember a time when she looked more beautiful, or more tempting. “Don’t do it,” she warned, her chest rising and falling.
He’d let it go for now, satisfied with the progress he had made. Gabe wasn’t willing to risk her affection for a quick grope in the woods. He had a second chance; it would be foolish to waste it.
Gabe grinned, then took her hand and helped her back onto the boat. “This is going to be an interesting summer,” he murmured.
* * *
THE SOUNDS OF a hot summer night drifted through the bathroom window—the quiet chirp of crickets, the far-off bark of a dog, the sound of the water lapping against the dock. Annie hung her leg over the edge of the tub as she sank into the cool water, closing her eyes and sighing softly. A fickle breeze teased at the lacy curtains, and she drew a deep breath, smelling rain in the air.
She swirled her fingers in the water, stirring up the scent of lavender, meant to soothe her nerves. Annie had tried to forget the fact that she hadn’t seen Gabe in five days. During the week, he stayed on base. But on weekends, he was supposed to take up residence in her boathouse. It was now 11:00 p.m. on a Friday night, and he hadn’t turned up.
With a soft curse, Annie sank beneath the surface of the water. She had no right to be irritated with him. And yet she was. Was it wrong to enjoy his presence? She was surrounded by teenagers without anyone to really talk to. Gabe was interested in her life.
She dragged the washcloth over her arm. To be honest, it wasn’t just the conversation that she missed. It was the physical contact—the occasional touch of his hand that felt like a caress, or the warmth of his lips pressed against hers. She’d grown accustomed to the longing when she’d been married to Erik, but Gabe was different. With him, everything was new, more desperate, more intense.
They’d moved past the boundaries of friendship. The kissing and touching had burned that bridge. And yet she couldn’t call their relationship a romance. There was nothing of the typical trappings found in that kind of relationship—no flowers, no dinners out, no attempts at sweet gestures or flowery sentiments.
Instead, she felt as if she were caught in some no-man’s-land, focused on the physical pleasures of his touch, yet determined not to fall in love with the man. This wasn’t a romance, it was a...a fixation. An obsession. An infatuation.
She’d expected to feel guilty over her new fixation, but that feeling hadn’t set in yet. Annie had been without a man for nearly twenty months. Any woman, widow or not, would be restless. And faced with easing those feelings with a man as sexy and handsome as Gabe, how could she resist?
Maybe it was time to move on, at least in the physical sense. She wasn’t ready to fall in love again, and Annie wasn’t sure that there was a man out there to replace her dead husband. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t move on physically, that she couldn’t enjoy sex with another man. The physical contact would ease her loneliness, and when she was alone again, the memories would do the same.
Gabe was the logical choice. He was geographically available, he was physically attractive and, from all indications, he wanted her. They could indulge in a no-strings affair until she left on her sailing trip. The plan seemed remarkably simple. But how would she go about explaining her needs to Gabe?
After all the years of knowing him, he really didn’t know her at all. How would he react if she dragged him into her bedroom and seduced him? A giggle bubbled out of her throat. Annie wasn’t even sure how she would react. The thought of stripping his clothes off and pushing him back into the sheets sent a shiver skittering down her spine.
She drew a deep breath and waited for the guilt. But again, it didn’t come. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
The last conversation she had with Erik was months ago. After he died, Annie used to speak to him all the time. But those things that used to soothe her had gradually faded in importance. She was thinking about sleeping with another man. “Gabe,” she murmured.
An uneasy sensation washed over her. There it was. Guilt? Or was it indecision? She was lusting after her husband’s best friend. Certainly, there had to be something immoral about that. Annie pushed out of the water and grabbed a towel from a nearby rack, wrapping it around her damp body. She took another towel for her hair, then walked out of the bathroom to her bedroom, leaving footprints on the wood floor.
This didn’t have to be so complicated. They were both adults and they both had desires—desires that they could mutually satisfy. There’d be no doubts or regrets. And she’d get what she’d been so desperately longing for. The touch of a man’s hands on her body. The warmth of his kiss and the overwhelming sensation of feeling him move inside her.
Annie let the towel slide off her body and puddle around her feet, then slipped into a faded cotton robe and tied it at the waist. She walked to her dresser, where an old fan whirred softly, and pulled her damp hair up off her neck to let the air dry her skin. Staring at her reflection in the dresser’s mirror, she brushed the robe off her shoulder, revealing the soft flesh of her breast, the nipple barely covered.
Annie couldn’t help but wonder if she even had the courage to act on her impulses. Seducing a man in her head was far easier than doing it in real life.
“I was wondering if you’d still be up.”
The sound of his voice startled her, and she pressed her hand to her chest, clutching at the front of her robe. “I thought you’d decided to stay on base.” She slowly turned, letting her hand drop to her side. Her robe gaped open provocatively.
It was a bold move, but well calculated. If a glimpse of her barely covered naked breast wasn’t enough to lure him closer, then a full-blown seduction was nothing but a fantasy.
He observed her for a long moment, his gaze drifting down her body, then back up to her face. A tiny smile quirked at the corners of his mouth. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”
She didn’t know how to answer a question like that. Annie had never considered herself a beauty. In truth, she’d always thought she was rather ordinary. “Am I?”
“From the first time I saw you, that day on the dock, I’ve thought it.”
She smiled. “Love at first sight?”
Gabe nodded. “Yeah. Absolutely. Love at first sight.”
It was a simple declaration of his affection, but his words hit her like a slap to the face. Was Gabe Pennington still in love with her? None of this would work if there were actual emotions involved. She wanted a man for her bed, not for her heart.
Annie reached for the front of her robe, drawing it closed, then tightening the tie at the waist. “And you’re still in love with me?”
He laughed and shook his head. “No! No, not at all.” Gabe paused, then gave her a sheepish smile. “Well, maybe a little bit.”
The atmosphere, so charged just a few moments ago, had shifted. “I...I should really get to bed. The kids are sailing in a regatta tomorrow, and they leave really early in the morning.”
“Mind if I tag along?”
Annie was surprised by the offer. Spending an entire day with race-crazed teenagers wasn’t for everyone. But she had to admit that she could use the help. Trying to keep an eye on sixteen rambunctious kids usually proved too much for the counselors. “Are you sure? These kids can leave you exhausted.”
“No, it’ll be fun. And I get to spend the day with you.”
“All right,” Annie said. “I guess it’s a date. We leave at 6:00 a.m.”
“All right, I’ll see you then.” He turned away from the door, then stopped short. “I brought you something. I left it down on the kitchen table.”
“What did you bring me?”
“Nothing special. Just some of those almond croissants you like from that coffee shop in Annapolis you mentioned.”
Annie frowned and shook her head. “When did I...”
“Last weekend. You were talking about buying doughnuts for breakfast and just mentioned the place. I remember stopping there with you and Erik back in the day. I was close by, so I decided to see if it was still there.”
Annie laughed softly. “How is it you’re still single? You’d think some woman would’ve snatched you up by now.”
“You’d think,” he agreed.
“You could possibly be the perfect boyfriend.”
He gave her a shrug. “Now, if only someone were looking for the perfect boyfriend. Most women are looking for imperfection. I guess that’s my problem.” With that, he turned and walked back downstairs, his footsteps retreating through the house. Annie heard the kitchen screen door slam behind him, and she flopped back on the bed.
Closing her eyes, she let her memories wind back to that day on the dock. She remembered noticing him, his steady blue gaze, his shy smile. What had made her gravitate to Erik instead? How would life have been different if she’d taken Gabe’s hand that day?
She’d still have a husband. Or had fate made that decision? Was everything a matter of fate? Erik hadn’t been a perfect husband. There had been times when she’d doubted his fidelity and when she’d questioned the depth of his love for her.
So much of who he was was wound around his career as a pilot. He lived his life fueled by adrenaline, and when he was home with her, he was like a caged animal, restless and edgy. They’d often fight, but then he’d switch gears and turn on the charm and she’d fall for him all over again.
Groaning, Annie covered her eyes with her hands. Why was she suddenly questioning her marriage? Ever since Gabe had kissed her, she’d begun to see things differently. She’d begun to see herself differently.