The Carrot Stories. Issue 3. The Emerald of Happiness or A Thai-Colombian Consortium Faces a Shady Enterprise of Materialistic Swine

Planets, in performing their cosmic ballet, help a galaxy maintain its form and evolve. It is known that one out of nine planets in a galaxy teems with life. But what of the other worlds? Do they harbor secrets of their own?

When a galaxy embraces Hen’s philosophy, it automatically becomes a member of Hen’s realm. This new status obliges the galaxy to forge connections between its living planet and those of other galaxies. However, trade, diplomacy, and the exchange of knowledge – these pillars of intergalactic communication – cannot flourish without the means of transport. Interstellar travel, in turn, requires a special fuel: emerald jelly. This highly efficient propellant is derived from soft emeralds – precious stones found only in the bowels of lifeless planets. Therein lies the secret of eight-ninths of all worlds.

According to the Intergalactic Charter, each galaxy joining Hen’s community must immediately begin extracting soft emeralds and refining them into jelly. However, if a galaxy lacks this capability, it must turn to existing enterprises. One such operation was the Thai-Colombian consortium, with offices, workshops, and warehouses scattered across Bogota and Bangkok.

As Thailand’s main airport served as the sole space hub for galaxy N3111, and Thai carriers monopolized intergalactic transport, it was only natural that several Colombian mining and emerald processing companies decided to join forces with Thailand’s largest intergalactic freight organization.

It’s worth noting that soft emeralds became the foundation not only for space travel but also for the monetary system. To make the henso (the official currency of Hen’s world) effective, it was decided to back it with soft emeralds.1 This solution created a peculiar situation in the global economy: the distance that could be covered using a particular amount of soft emeralds as fuel became equivalent to the denomination of banknotes. Thus, 100 hensos equaled 0.01 grams of soft emeralds or 100,000 km of travel. Moreover, this green fuel dependence made soft emerald mining the most crucial industry. Competition was fierce, which is why the Thai-Colombian consortium had to introduce principles of mystical production into its operations.

In practice, it worked like this: before each workday began, consortium employees divided their souls into three parts – intelligence, emotions, and power. Each part was then placed into an apple. Through this process, workers temporarily “transformed” into sentient apples.

To outpace its competitors, the consortium significantly advanced its mystical production technology. The innovation came in the form of superworkers (red superapples). There were three types. Superworker A consisted of twelve apples, each containing the intelligence of twelve people. Superworker B comprised twelve apples housing people’s power. Finally, superworker C consisted of twelve apples filled with people’s emotions.

Unlike ordinary green apples, red superworkers were more adaptable and efficient. They could survive without oxygen – a tremendous advantage when working on dead planets. Furthermore, this new approach to labor uncovered a novel source to bolster Earth’s budget.

Why was this possible? As mentioned earlier, red apples were remarkably economical. They required very little sustenance. The significance of this feature was paramount, especially considering that red workers could only consume soft emeralds – the very product they dealt with. This explains why no superworker contained all eighteen green apples. Fully loaded red workers would demand more food. By reducing productive capacity, the Thai-Colombian consortium saved 31,000 kilograms of soft emeralds annually.2 All conserved emeralds were delivered to the Central Treasury of Hensburg.

Another groundbreaking technology employed by the consortium was a set of six special devices that allowed users to perceive twelve dimensions. Emitting light, these devices created energetic eagles – entities that increased the number of perceivable dimensions.3 To operate around the clock, each device consumed 5,200 kilograms of soft emeralds per year.

Since the consortium engaged only two-thirds of its green apples in emerald mining and processing, it was logical that the remaining one-third was tasked with servicing these innovative devices, installed at six different points across the supergalaxy (each device was tended by 1,000 apples. Thus, through the six eagles, green apples doubled the number of perceivable dimensions. Each group of apples could provide access to only one dimension).

For what purposes were these devices used? The answer is straightforward: to enhance production. First and foremost, through twelve-dimensional perception, the consortium’s jewelers perfected their faceting technology. Secondly, the innovation helped the consortium’s engineers make fuel production entirely waste-free.

The method of twelve-dimensional perception proved so effective that it was swiftly introduced into many sectors of Earth’s economy. This meant that the 6,000 apples servicing the devices worked not only for the consortium but also for the betterment of humanity.

The technology functioned as follows:

Through four-dimensional perspective, Earth’s scientists managed to perceive the golden ratio. This manifested as a shimmering ray, emanating from the golden egg and piercing through the core of the Universe.

When the number of perceivable dimensions increased to six, it was discovered that the golden ratio could be projected onto a particular galaxy. In this projection, the ray revealed the extent to which a particular product (for example, a car) met customer requirements (as each type of product had a special code, corporate managers could easily detect it).

The next step was eight-dimensional perception. At this stage, the golden ratio was projected onto a supergalaxy. This provided insight into what a product should be to satisfy residents of the entire supergalaxy.

In turn, ten-dimensional perception allowed access to the opinions of all living beings in the Universe.

Finally, when all twelve devices were activated, another hidden phenomenon became visible to human eyes. This was the meta-product. Visually, this phenomenon took the form of a twelve-pointed stone, nestled within the Universe’s core. The hidden meta-product was nothing less than an aggregate of the demands and wishes of all intelligent entities living in the Universe. It contained a vast spectrum of desires – from the desire to live to the desire to purchase a spoon. Thus, the hidden stone consisted purely of desires.

As all desires can be categorized as either useful (true) or useless (false), it became clear how the golden ratio influenced the meta-product. The ray served as a border between these two types of desires. Whenever a living being made a wish, it was automatically sent into the twelve-pointed container – into one of its two sections (depending on whether the desire was beneficial or detrimental to the wisher).4 Consequently, if the quantity of false desires outweighed the quantity of true ones, the golden ray shifted to the left. Otherwise, it moved to the right. The cut moved further as the difference between true and false desires grew larger.

It’s also necessary to explain why Earth’s economists termed this discovered energetic entity the meta-product.

Being a natural extension of space, Earth’s economy depended on global processes unfolding throughout the Universe. Scientists discovered that desires in the white part of the stone were intertwined, forming a vast network where each node (a desire) had energetic tendrils stretching in different directions.

In turn, useful desires manifested as small green dots, scattered throughout the right part of the meta-product. Instead of energetic tendrils, they contained a green, misty substance within. When a useful desire was satisfied, its substance was absorbed by a planet harboring soft emerald deposits. Thus, each fulfilled useful desire increased soft emerald reserves.5 To some degree, one could say that by satisfying customer desires, producers were unknowingly purchasing emeralds.

As companies from all “living” planets brought profit to emerald-obtaining enterprises, the emerald bosses decided to allocate some assets to all firms producing material and non-material goods. It was a just and generous decision. Allocations from obtaining companies were directed to the pension fund.6

As all supergalaxies spiraled around, they passed through both white and green parts of the meta-product. During their evolution, supergalaxies changed their positions many times. It was determined that the color of the meta-product’s facets influenced the mentality of rational creatures. Green color made them more modest and pragmatic, while white color intensified aspirations for luxury and comfort.

However, the hidden meta-product served not only as an engine of economic development. To understand its second function, one must grasp the main principles of space transportation.

To shorten the distance between departure point and destination, spaceships passed through special portals. This was teleportation – a method to relocate objects without significant time expenditure.

Before the meta-product was discovered, nobody had been able to explain how the system of portals worked. However, thanks to devices created by the Thai-Colombian consortium, it was ascertained that the portals were located on the green facets of the meta-product.7 This meant that the hidden dodecahedron was also the basis for space transportation – enabling travel to other galaxies or supergalaxies.

Thus, green facet N1 allowed relocation of ships within a particular galaxy, facet N2 enabled travel to other galaxies, N3 provided access to a particular supergalaxy, N4 offered the opportunity to change supergalaxies, and finally, facets N5 and N6 allowed crews to leave the Universe’s core and the Universe’s body respectively.

In turn, the white part was the source of energy required to maintain the portals in working order.

However, generating energy wasn’t the only function of the left part. Its six facets contained tracks along which spaceships flew. White facet N1 had all inner tracks of all galaxies, facet N2 – all intergalactic tracks, facet N3 – tracks of all supergalaxies, facet N4 – all tracks connecting supergalaxies, facet N5 – tracks located outside the Universe’s core, facet N6 – tracks existing outside the Universe (in the body of attention).

The fact that all tracks were located on the meta-product’s facets fully confirmed descriptions given by space crews upon their return.

The pilots argued that regardless of the destination point, a trip always felt like moving along a straight line. For example, to leave the Universe’s core, a crew had to pass sequentially through five white facets. It was hard to believe, but in reality, spaceships didn’t traverse space. Upon entering the portal of green facet N1, they appeared on white rectangle N1. Sequence was the main principle of teleportation.

Thus, one can see that the new technologies developed by the Thai-Colombian consortium were not only methods to improve emerald extraction, but also contributions to the improvement of socio-economic conditions on Earth and (later) on other “living” planets.

As mentioned, the consortium obtaining emeralds in galaxy N 3111 was a business cooperation between several Colombian companies and one Thai enterprise. The Colombian part handled the extraction and processing of soft emeralds, while the Thai enterprise was responsible for space transportation.

The transport scheme was as follows: raw material from dead planets was delivered to Bangkok, then to Bogota. After processing, two-thirds of the emeralds were sent to the Central Treasury (in Hensburg), while the remaining third was forwarded to Khon Kaen – a beautiful Thai city housing the finest emerald-refining plant.

The consortium operated like a well-oiled machine – without interruption. Superworkers made production highly effective. As the consortium was unwilling to share its technologies with other companies, it was the only organization whose staff consisted entirely of superapples (with the exception of green apples servicing devices in space). By coincidence, the number of bosses running the consortium was six. Like other workers, the bosses placed their power, intelligence, and feelings into green apples. Then, through mystical conjunction, eighteen green fruits fused into one large red apple – a superboss.

Managing the consortium was no easy task. Due to the colossal workload, the bosses’ souls had to remain in the apple for days on end.

The only month when bosses (as well as their employees) could rest was October. The reason for this enforced stoppage, and consequently, vacation, was the hardening of dead planets’ surfaces – a phenomenon occurring only in mid-autumn.

In late September, all workers received vacation allowances, a substantial part of which was a bonus. Naturally, the highest bonuses went to the bosses – the six individuals making the most crucial decisions. Five top managers deposited their bonuses in the bank, but the sixth (named Alonso) disposed of his extra money in a peculiar way. No, he wasn’t an eccentric, nor did he have any particular goal in mind. It was simply a tradition – one that had helped propel his meteoric career. What tradition did Alonso follow? Once a month, he put coins into a piggy bank. Alonso didn’t dream of any grand purchase; he simply enjoyed collecting money. At first glance, there was nothing remarkable about this habit. However, considering that the piggy bank was enormous, and the owner had been filling it since childhood, it becomes clear why, ten years ago, the director of a Colombian mining company decided to employ Alonso. The applicant impressed the head with his consistency and willpower. The new worker didn’t disappoint his employer. A few years later, before retiring, the director recommended Alonso for the position of company head. The decision was positive. Alonso became a director. His first proposal met no objections: the company joined the consortium.

Alonso lived in a prestigious district of Bogota. The cellar of his large house resembled a bank vault: behind a massive iron door lay an impeccably clean, well-lit room. Alonso’s piggy bank (a blue ceramic pig) stood at its center. It was the sole object in the room. The pig was so enormous that the owner needed a ladder to insert coins into its belly.

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The prosperous manager had no family. To ward off loneliness, Alonso often descended to the cellar to spend time with his treasure.

“If I marry, my wife will feed you too,” the man said tenderly, stroking the ceramic pig. “With big, shining coins.”

Alonso knew everything about his prized possession: the pig was made in Medellin. The workers had used clay of the highest quality. It was part of a pilot run. As only one of four produced pigs was sold, the project was discontinued.

However, there was one thing Alonso couldn’t know. If the piggy bank were animate, it would certainly have told its owner about a tiny secret sensor that had been fixed inside its snout beforehand. Who installed this sensor? What was it for?

Those who installed the sensor were also pigs – two real, well-fed hogs who had managed to sneak into the factory. Information about the sold huge piggy bank reached their farm immediately.

“Why not pilfer this box when it’s full?” thought the hog named Bibby. He shared this idea with his close friend Hruppy.

“This money will be enough to buy two tickets to Jupiter!” Hruppy rejoiced. “Traveling by spaceship is too expensive.”

“Yes,” nodded Bibby. “However, we must be patient. I think it will take many years to fill such a big moneybox.”

“We’ll use this time profitably,” returned Hruppy. “We shall collect enough acorns and soybeans.”

The two hogs burst into laughter. By sheer chance, they had discovered an effective method to combat surface hardening. They noticed that dried acorns and soybeans, when buried together, softened the soil, turning it into near-mud.

Bibby and Hruppy realized that nothing would prevent them from reaching Jupiter in October. A formidable stock of acorns and soybeans was sure to help them soften a few square meters of its surface.

The two friends dreamed of starting their own business. Their main motivation came from a story once told by an old breeding sow. The tale spoke of a place on Jupiter where the emerald of happiness could be found. The sow said that this special stone was meant only for pigs. The emerald of happiness could make a pig squeal in delight. It would bring happiness for no reason. A pig would laugh just by looking at the stone.

Thus, Bibby and Hruppy decided to obtain the emerald of happiness and exhibit it for money. To laugh for no reason – is that not the fondest dream of all pigs?

“We shall become rich,” Hruppy said one day.

“Very rich,” agreed Bibby.

Unfortunately, the hogs didn’t know that only the Thai-Colombian consortium had the exclusive right to obtain emeralds on dead planets of galaxy N3111.