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Josh nodded, and he grimaced a bit when she gently massaged the knot in his calf muscle.
“You have a very tense muscle right here,” she said, using her thumb to smooth over the area. “I know it’s a little sore, but you’ll feel much better afterward if I work on it now.”
“I know,” Josh said bravely, and once again Dan’s heart squeezed in his chest for what his young son was going through. If he could have taken the pain for Josh, he would have. But of course he’d walked away from the crash virtually unscathed.
And felt guilty about that part, too.
He tuned out a bit as Molly and Josh chatted about his school, as she asked him what his favorite subjects and teachers were. Since the crash, he’d hired a tutor to work with Josh so that he could keep up with his classes while he attended therapy every day.
But his ears pricked up when he heard his son talking about Mr. Iverson, the tutor he’d hired. “I don’t like him. He’s mean.”
“What did you say?” he demanded, before Molly could respond. “What did Mr. Iverson do that was mean?”
Josh’s lower lip trembled. “He yells at me. He makes me do adding and subtracting over and over again, even though I don’t understand it. But he doesn’t explain anything, just keeps making me fill out the worksheets and yelling at me when they’re not right.”
Dan frowned darkly. How was it that he hadn’t known about the problems Josh was having with his teacher before now? “Well, I’ll get rid of Mr. Iverson. You should have told me sooner, Josh.”
Instantly Josh’s eyes brightened. “Really? No more math?”
“Now, Josh,” Molly admonished gently, inserting herself into the conversation, “do you really think you can pass first grade to go on to second grade without learning to add and subtract?”
Josh gave a very adultlike sigh. “No, I suppose not.”
“Sometimes school is hard, just like therapy,” Molly said, moving over to massage Josh’s other leg. “But there are things we can do to make them both fun.”
Was he imagining it, or was that last comment directed squarely at him? He tried not to scowl but since when was school supposed to be fun? Kids had to learn, but tests, writing essays, memorizing history and practicing your sums wasn’t exactly fun.
Was it?
“The muscles in your left leg aren’t nearly as tied up in knots as those in your right leg,” Molly said, turning the conversation back to the issue of therapy. “Do you feel the difference?”
Josh nodded vigorously. “Yep. Doesn’t ache very much at all.”
“I’m glad. Now we’re going to use the ultrasound machine. Here’s the wand, feel how smooth it is?” She picked up what looked like a stout hammer, except that the base of it was much wider and very smooth to the touch.
Josh tentatively put his hand over the end of the wand. “Yeah, it’s very smooth.”
“I’m going to move it in small circles over your skin, like this.” Molly demonstrated again, on the palm of his hand. “Now, when I turn the machine on, it’s going to make some noise and you’ll feel a very faint vibration but it won’t hurt. Do you want me to show you on your dad first?”
Josh nodded again, and watched with wide eyes as Dan extended his arm so that Molly could use the ultrasound machine on him.
She squirted cool gel on his arm, and then flipped the switch on the machine and moved the ball of the wand over his skin in a circular motion. He frowned. “I can barely feel the vibration. Are you sure it’s turned on?”
“I’m sure. I told you this wouldn’t hurt a bit.” She glanced over at Josh with a bright smile. “Are you ready to try it?”
“I’m ready.” Josh braced himself, and Dan couldn’t help moving closer to his son, putting his arms around Josh’s thin shoulders. When she squirted the ultrasound gel on his skin, Josh jumped. “It’s cold!”
“I know. And that’s the worst of it, I promise.” Molly pressed the ball of the ultrasound wand against Josh’s leg and moved it in small circles.
Instantly Josh relaxed. “It really doesn’t hurt!” he exclaimed in surprise.
“Josh, I will never lie to you,” Molly said solemnly as she continued with the ultrasound therapy. “Remember when I told you the exercises were going to be hard to do? And they were, right? I will always be honest about what we’re going to do, okay?”
Josh grinned. “Okay.”
Dan waited patiently, as Molly finished up the ultrasound treatments, doing eight minutes on Josh’s right leg and four minutes on his left. He didn’t understand what good the treatments would be, though, as he honestly hadn’t felt a thing when she’d practiced on his arm.
So far all they’d done had been to play several games, get a massage and then this weird, painless ultrasound therapy. Not that he wanted his son to be in pain, but surely there had to be more to therapy than what he’d seen today?
Was this Molly Shriver really the best in the business?
If so, maybe he needed to consider other alternatives.
Molly could tell that Dr. Morris wasn’t thrilled with how Josh’s therapy had gone today, and while she wished he’d trust in her knowledge and judgment, she figured that allowing anyone else to be in control went against the grain of a top-notch cardiothoracic surgeon.
And she still needed to talk to him about Josh’s wheelchair.
“We’re all finished, Josh,” she said, scooting her chair back and putting the ultrasound machine away. She took out a towel to wipe the ultrasound goop from Josh’s legs. “Now, I’m going to have you sit here for a few minutes while I talk to your dad, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Heavens, I almost forgot!” She whirled round and picked up a candy jar full of lollipops. “Here, what’s your favorite flavor? You get to pick any one you like for working so hard today.”
She thought she heard a faint snort from Josh’s father, an indication perhaps that he didn’t think Josh had worked hard at all, but she ignored him. Josh debated the multitude of flavors. He took his time, as if this was the most important decision he’d make in his life, so she waited patiently until his fingers delved into the jar. “Grape,” he announced, pulling out the lollipop with the purple wrapper. “I like grape.”
“Grape is one of my favorite flavors, too,” she confided, putting the lid back on the candy jar and setting it aside. “Now, wait here for a minute, okay?”
He was too busy sucking on his lollipop to answer. She gestured for Josh’s dad to follow her out into her private office.
Once they were alone, she didn’t beat around the bush. “I want you to get Josh a wheelchair.” Dan, er—Dr. Morris—towered over her, topping her in height by a good eight inches. But she refused to be intimidated even though he was clearly angry.
“Josh isn’t permanently handicapped,” he said tersely. “He doesn’t need a wheelchair. He’s going to learn how to walk again. At least, he would if you were doing more than playing silly games.”
The cutting edge of his tongue only made her square her shoulders to face him with renewed determination. “This isn’t about what you want or need, Dr. Morris, it’s about your son. It’s about giving him the freedom to move around without waiting for you or someone else to carry him. It’s about giving him independence. And lastly it’s about strengthening his core muscles, his torso.” She was growing angrier by the second.
“Don’t you understand how important core body strength is when it comes to walking? You stand there and mock what I’ve done today, but those games I played with Josh were core-strengthening games. And therapy doesn’t have to hurt in order to achieve results!”
He actually stared in shocked surprise at her outburst. A tiny voice in the back of her mind warned her to stop while she was ahead, but she was on a roll.
“Furthermore, how dare you question my methods? I have good outcomes, the best in the region. Do I stand over your shoulder and tell you how to operate on a damaged heart? This is my job, my career, and I’m damn good at it.”
Her temper flared easily, she didn’t have red hair for nothing, but it dissolved as quickly as it ignited. She took several deep breaths, immediately feeling bad at how she’d lost control. Was she crazy? A powerful surgeon like Dr. Dan Morris could make or break her career.
Well, he probably couldn’t totally break her career, as she really did have excellent outcomes that spoke for themselves. But he could make her life miserable.
And what if he stopped referring patients to her? The very idea made her gut clench and roll.
Why, oh, why hadn’t she bitten her tongue?
The silence stretched interminably between them, until she decided he was waiting for an apology.
One he honestly deserved.
But before she could take her foot out of her mouth to formulate the words, he totally surprised her. “Where can I get a pediatric wheelchair?” he demanded.
“Um, right here. I can get you one from the storage room.” She didn’t move, though, afraid that he’d capitulated too easily. She licked her lips nervously. “Look, I’m—”
“If you wouldn’t mind getting it now, I’d be happy to reimburse you for it,” he interrupted, as if impatient to get the wheelchair now that he’d decided Josh really did, in fact, need one.
She nodded and quickly left the office to rummage around in the back storeroom. She found a perfect-sized wheelchair for Josh, and brought it back to his father.
He stared at it for a long moment, before dragging his gaze up to meet hers. “I never meant to take away Josh’s independence,” he murmured, his gaze full of stark agony. “That’s the last thing I would ever want to do.”
She felt her eyes prick with tears, hardly able to bear to see the lines of tortured self-reproach grooved in his cheeks. “I know. You were seeing the wheelchair as a sign of giving up. But encouraging Josh to use an assistive device isn’t giving up at all. Trust me, this is just the first step on the road to Josh walking again.”
His jaw tensed and his intense gaze seemed to drill all the way down to her soul. “Do you really believe that?” he asked hoarsely. “Do you really believe he’ll walk again?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t stop herself from stepping closer and placing a reassuring hand on his forearm. The warmth of his skin shot tingles of awareness dancing along her nerves. But she kept her gaze centered on his, ignoring her inappropriate reaction. “I believe he will. I won’t lie to you, though. Josh’s leg muscles are weak, so this isn’t going to happen overnight. He has a long way to go. But I know he’ll be able to walk again.”
He covered her hand with his, surrounding her with even more heat. “I’m going to hold you to that,” he said wearily.
She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze, and then subtly pulled out of his grip. “No more than I’m holding myself accountable,” she assured him. They’d gotten past the first hurdle, but there would be more. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You’re going to have to help,” she added. “Because Josh can’t do this on his own. He’ll need your support.”
To her surprise, he nodded in agreement. “I know and that’s perfectly fine with me. Obviously, he’s not going to be able to walk with just one hour of therapy a day. I expect you to give me a list of leg-strengthening exercises to do with him at home.”
She wanted to roll her eyes heavenward at his determination to direct the physiotherapy of his son. She supposed this tendency of his was part of being a surgeon but, really, hadn’t they already gone through all this? She was the one in charge, here, not him.
The sooner he recognized that fact, the further along they’d be.
“Now that you mention it, I do have a list for you,” she agreed as she headed over to her desk. She picked up the bright blue folder, and then came back over to hand it to him. “Inside you’ll find everything you’ll need. And, of course, I’ll be seeing Josh five days a week. You’ve asked for early morning appointments, so he’s scheduled every day at 9:00 a.m.”
“No problem,” he agreed readily, as he opened the folder to peek inside. He scanned the printed pages she’d tucked in the pockets, and then looked up at her with a deep frown. “These aren’t exercises,” he accused. “They’re games.” He emphasized the last word as if it was a curse.
She tried not to smile, but her mouth quirked up at the corners despite her best effort. “Yes, I’m aware of that, Dr. Morris. Your son is seven years old. Surely you know how to play games with him?”
She could have sworn there was a momentarily blank look in his eyes, before he snapped the folder shut with a flash of annoyance. “Of course I do.”
This time she couldn’t stop the smile from blossoming on her face. “Don’t worry,” she said, patting his arm as if he were one of her small patients, rather than a big, broad-shouldered heart surgeon. “You’ll get better with practice.”
CHAPTER THREE
MOLLY WAS PHYSICALLY exhausted by the time she finished her day, and while she’d cared for many patients during her nine-hour shift, it was young Josh and his enigmatic father who lingered in her mind as she took the subway home.
She tried to scan the newspaper she’d purchased at the hospital, as she normally did, but her mind kept wandering. She couldn’t help wondering about how Josh was handling his new wheelchair, and whether or not Dr. Morris had unwound enough to play a few games with his son.
And she found herself hoping that the uptight surgeon wouldn’t overdo things with Josh in his eagerness to get the boy walking again. If he pushed Josh too hard, the poor kid would be too sore to participate in her games tomorrow. Moderation was an important aspect of physical therapy and she realized now that she should have made a point of reinforcing that fact before they’d left.
She doubted Dr. Morris knew anything about moderation. The way he’d watched her, with his incredibly intense gaze, had made her feel extremely self-conscious. And far too aware of him.
Her cheeks burned as she remembered the way she’d let him have it in her office. Normally she didn’t find it at all difficult to keep her temper under control, at least within a professional setting. But somehow Josh’s father had pushed her buttons in a big way. The memory of her tirade made her wince. She’d have to make sure she kept her cool during their session tomorrow.
Would Dr. Morris bring his son in again? Or would he send Josh to someone else? Everyone knew that Dan Morris was single—there was a lot of talk about him being one of Angel’s most eligible bachelors, especially now that Dr. Tyler Donaldson had been snagged by Dr. Eleanor Aston.
But whereas Tyler was a flirt, Dan was an enigma. Composed. Aloof. She didn’t doubt for a moment that he had a nanny to help care for his son. The thought that she might not see Dr. Morris in the morning left her feeling curiously disappointed. That was crazy, because it wasn’t as if she had any interest in the guy, other than how he needed to learn how to unbend enough to help his son.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly missed her subway stop. At the last moment she grabbed her backpack and her newspaper and elbowed her way through the crowd to dash out the door seconds before they closed. Thankfully, the weather was mild for spring, so it was no hardship to walk the few blocks home to her tiny apartment.
Inside, she quickly heated up some leftovers and forced herself to finish reading the newspaper. She liked being up to date on current events, especially as the length of her commute didn’t provide any time to watch the news.
When she opened the entertainment section, she stared in shock when she recognized her sister, Sally, and boyfriend, Mike, smiling together in a huge photo announcing their engagement.
Sally and Mike were engaged? Since when? And why hadn’t anyone called her?
She couldn’t seem to drag her gaze away from the beautiful, happy couple. Her sister was as dark as she herself was fair, making it even more noticeable that they weren’t bonded by blood. Molly had been adopted by the Shrivers when she’d been four years old, but shortly thereafter her adoptive mother had discovered she was pregnant.
When Sally was born, Molly had been thrilled to have a younger sister to play with, but as they’d grown older, it had become clear that Sally, as the biological daughter, had been the favorite and she herself had too often been simply an afterthought.
Nothing had changed in the years since they’d both grown up. No matter how hard she tried to belong, when it came to her family, she remained the outsider, looking in.
Seeing her sister’s engagement photo soured her appetite, so she shoved the newspaper aside and carried her dishes to the sink. She shouldn’t be so upset at how Sally had gotten engaged without telling her, but she was. She knew her family hadn’t done this to her on purpose, they weren’t mean-spirited, it was more that they often forgot about her.
If she called her mother now to ask about Sally’s engagement, Jenny would profusely apologize and offer some weak excuse to try to cover the fact that Molly hadn’t been included.
For a moment, a deep sense of loneliness weighed down her shoulders like a heavy blanket. All she’d ever wanted was to be a part of a family. She’d thought her prayers had been answered when the Shrivers had adopted her, but over time she’d become less and less a true member of the family.
And since she’d graduated from college her one attempt to have a family of her own had backfired. James had been several years older than she was, a divorced father with two young boys. She’d met him when one of his boys had been injured playing soccer and she’d performed his therapy. They’d dated for five years, and she’d been sure he’d propose marriage, but instead he’d called off their relationship, claiming he’d fallen in love with someone else.
He’d broken her heart, although now, a year later, she could admit she’d loved his two young sons more than she’d loved him.
Not seeing James’s boys anymore had left a huge, aching hole in her life. In her soul.
Her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. She didn’t belong, not with the Shrivers and certainly not with James. On a professional level she belonged at Angel’s, and working there had been the best decision of her life.
It was too bad that on a personal level it seemed she was destined to live her life alone.
Dan swallowed a curse as he wrestled to get Josh’s wheelchair back into the trunk of his car. Josh didn’t seem to like the stupid chair, despite Molly’s insistence that having it would give him more independence. And Dan hadn’t appreciated the sympathetic stares aimed at his son when they’d ridden down in the elevator together. One of the reasons he had balked at using the chair had been to save Josh from being teased about it.
Although maybe if he’d used the wheelchair with Josh from the very beginning, his son would be that much further along with his therapy.
More to feel guilty about. As if everything Josh had been through, the prolonged hospital stay and multiple surgeries, hadn’t been enough. With an effort he shoved his dark thoughts aside.
“Ready, Josh?” he asked, as he slid behind the wheel.
“Yep.” One good thing was that Josh hadn’t been upset about going to therapy this morning. And he hadn’t clung to Gemma, his nanny, begging her to take him. Dan knew part of the reason was that Josh was looking forward to seeing Molly again. However, he hoped there were also tentative bonds forming between him and his son.
Yesterday, when they’d gotten home, he’d fired the tutor who’d been mean to Josh and had called the school to arrange for a replacement. This time a young college freshman by the name of Mitch came to the house and Josh seemed to flourish under the kid’s fun and somewhat laid-back approach.
As he’d watched them together, he couldn’t help thinking Molly would approve.
After Josh’s lessons they’d played the ball game again and the entire time Molly’s parting words had played over and over in his mind. Don’t worry, you’ll get better with practice.
His gut still burned with the memory. He hadn’t felt that inadequate since his internship year.
Despite being seriously annoyed with her, he had to admit to feeling some grudging admiration for Molly. No one had ever dared to stand up to him the way she had. And what was that she’d said? Something about how she wouldn’t stand over his shoulder and tell him how to do heart surgery? Earlier in the session she’d called him Mr. Morris, but she’d obviously known who he was the whole time.
He supposed it was possible that she’d only figured it out after spending more time together. While he often referred patients to her, based on her reputation for being the best, it wasn’t as if they’d worked together side by side. He simply wrote the order and then asked his patients and their parents how things were going when they came in for their routine follow-up visits. They’d always given him rave reviews about her care.
As far as his own opinion of her went, the jury was still out. She might be a pretty woman, with a bright, sunny attitude, but he wasn’t going to be happy until Josh was walking again. And despite what she claimed, he had trouble believing these games of hers would really work.
The traffic was heavier this morning, and he drummed his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel as they waited for yet another red light. This time, when they arrived at Angel’s physical therapy clinic, they only had five minutes to spare.
Five minutes that was taken up by wrestling once again with the stubborn wheelchair. Once he got the thing unfolded and the footrests put back together, he lifted Josh out of the car and placed him in the seat.
This time Molly was waiting for them when they arrived. “Wow, you look awesome in that wheelchair, Josh.”
His son brightened under her admiration. “Really? You think so?”
“Absolutely. And today we’re going to practice getting in and out of it, okay?”
“Okay.”
“This way,” Molly said, gesturing for them to follow her into the large therapy room. Dan pushed Josh’s wheelchair forward. “If you wouldn’t mind stopping right there,” she said, when he reached the center of the room, “I’d like to see what Josh can do on his own.”
Letting go of the chair and backing off to watch his son struggle to move the large wheels forward was difficult. Josh’s small arms seemed far too skinny to be of much use, although he did manage to wheel the chair all the way over to Molly.
“Excellent.” Once again she knelt before Josh so they were at the same eye level. “I need you to practice wheeling yourself around, Josh. I know your arms will get tired, but you still need to practice. It’s the only way to get your arms stronger, all right?”
“All right.”
“Good.” Molly’s smile was bright enough to light up the whole room. For the first time Dan wondered just what her life was like to make her so happy all the time. He’d noticed that she wasn’t wearing a wedding or engagement ring, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t seeing someone. He couldn’t imagine a woman like Molly being without a man, so he had to assume she was involved. Why that thought made him feel depressed, he had no clue. The last thing he needed was a woman to further complicate his life.
After Suzy had upped and left six years ago, he’d vowed to never let a woman get close to him again. Josh needed stability in his life more than he himself needed female companionship. He’d willingly thrown himself into his career. Maybe a little too enthusiastically, now that he thought about it.
“I’m going to help you stand up, okay? First we have to set the brakes.” She put her hands over his smaller ones to show him how to move the levers forward. “Now, I’m going to put my arms underneath yours, but I need you to push up on the arms of your wheelchair at the same time.”
He watched Josh struggle to stand, noticing that Molly took a good portion of his weight in order for him to accomplish the task. Although once he was standing, she made him balance there for a few seconds.