Selfish Beings

Chapter Four: Faithless Friends

As the golden doors closed behind Kaarl the forearm Lucifer had grasped began to itch. He started to scratch and realised the skin had raised and scarred. He had been branded with an eight-pointed star.

‘It is a symbol of authority,’ someone said in a condescending voice.

Kaarl looked for its source and saw a squat, fat demon dressed in an ink-stained brown robe. He remembered him vaguely from the Boardroom but had no idea who he was.

‘I am Asteroth, Treasurer of Hell,’ the repulsive-looking bureaucrat told him. ‘I have been assigned to assist you in gathering resources before your journey and anything else you may require. I know that Lucifer has given you a certain degree of freedom but don’t think you can go on a spending spree. I deplore wastefulness.’

‘Then why are you so fat?’ asked Kaarl. ‘Surely eating food you obviously don’t need is considered wasteful.’

Even as the words were coming out of his mouth he was stunned. A thought flashed quickly in his mind. I told you, when you speak, others must listen as if the words had come from my lips.

Asteroth stood silent yet unable to close his mouth. From the way his chins wobbled it was clear there was a lot of anger mixed in with the shock. Kaarl did not bother to apologise. Whether that was the mark having some effect on him or just the abrasive nature of Asteroth he couldn’t decide.

‘Besides the souls required, all I need is a little time with Verin and Vetis to finalise the plan,’ Kaarl told the Treasurer.

Asteroth, on the surface at least, had recovered from the blatant insult. ‘Abaddon has already sent word to them. They will meet you at Faithless as requested,’ he replied.

‘Then that is where I am going now.’

As he launched down towards Perdition Kaarl marvelled at his speed. He had never been able to fly nearly as fast before; Lucifer’s blessing definitely had its perks. The magnificent view he had seen when ascending to Lucifer’s chambers was rendered a blur by his newfound power. A journey which should have taken half an hour took barely three minutes as Kaarl came to an abrupt, floating halt in front of Faithless, the most exclusive drinking establishment in all of Perdition.

Only the wealthiest Demons and worthiest Mortals were allowed to set foot in Faithless’s hallowed grounds but Kaarl had not chosen the location to flaunt his new position. Some of the clientele had knowledge that would be essential to finalising his plan. As far as he could tell it was almost perfect but experience had its advantages over intelligence. Faithless resembled a vast Gothic cathedral, the entire building constructed of jet-black stone and the stained glass windows uniformly tinted to the same colour. The views from inside were unobstructed but the underprivileged masses outside could not even get a glimpse into the playground for Perdition’s rich and famous.

Kaarl strolled confidently past the queue and the hulking demonic bouncers bowed and let him through so quickly that an uninformed observer might have thought he was the owner. From shunned and berated to significant and exalted in the space of a morning; it would not take long to become accustomed to the change. Inside the doors of Faithless the similarities to a place of worship were nowhere to be seen.

The sharp smell of potent alcohol was everywhere and laughter and debauchery covered almost every inch of available floor space. Kaarl fought through the seething masses up towards the VIP area, passing fistfights, fornication, gambling and all the other activities that made Faithless the premier destination in Perdition for a good time. Once he had made his way through the crowds and the velvet ropes had been lifted by another pair of colossal bouncers he searched the VIP tables for his friends.

Mastema was not the only Demon to find the friendship between Kaarl and the twins unlikely. For the six decades of its existence their peers in Perdition had debated the reason behind it. The predominant theory was that the girls were biding their time for some sort of betrayal. A cruel and sadistic long play seemed the only logical explanation. The simple truth was that the friendship was real and had actually been forced upon Kaarl in the beginning.

Verin and Vetis were devious, naturally skilled in seduction and possessed a sex appeal that was as effective in the Mortal realm as their own. With such highly desirable traits and transferable skills it was not long before they were sent to Earth on a mission that required the feminine touch. In its execution the girls found they enjoyed the food, the surroundings and particularly the men. Demonic males were rather dull and tended to focus heavily on stature and snarling.

Kaarl’s unusual disposition towards the Mortals was well known. After they had returned to Perdition the twins had tracked him down, shattered his bedroom window with a rock and clambered in to introduce themselves. He was the only one of their kind they felt they could talk to freely about the subject. At best the Damned were viewed as second class citizens in Perdition and at worst non-entities.

In the twins Kaarl had found some semblance of acceptance. Despite telling himself it wasn’t important, it was a nice feeling nonetheless. Being able to discuss Mortals and not being berated for any attitude other than apathy was a pleasant change. Before the girls had helped him get a connection to the Internet they were also his favourite source of information. The Damned often left the little details out; things that seemed inconsequential to them. The twins explained all of their new experiences in detail.

Despite their play-by-our-own-rules attitude and hard façade, Kaarl had learnt over the decades that Verin and Vetis were a lot like him. Their mischievous nature was not an act but he doubted they would bloom into the creatures of malice their parents and the realm wanted. It seemed to him they did just enough to get by. Like Kaarl, they were trapped between Perdition’s expectations and their desire to just be themselves. Unlike him, they hadn’t taken the final step, declared their differences and accepted the stigma that came along with them. If everything went according to plan it would not be a situation the twins would have to worry about.

Verin and Vetis were sitting by themselves and Kaarl knew they must have been waiting for some time. Long enough at least to have refused every offer of a drink or coupling. He found it odd that they constantly complained about unwanted male attention yet always chose to appear in public without clothing. Both girls had deep green eyes, long black hair and marvellous red bodies. Kaarl never really thought of them as anything but friends; however, he could appreciate the allure of the twins.

‘If it isn’t Lucifer’s man himself,’ said Verin as Kaarl approached the table.

‘Do we have to call you Lord now?’ asked her sister.

Kaarl laughed and sat down with them. He could see in the mirrored wall behind their booth that every man, Demon and even a few of the burlier women in the immediate area were looking at him with utter contempt. The sisters saw it as well and both leant over and kissed Kaarl.

‘All right, enough teasing the patrons,’ he said as he wiped his cheeks. ‘We have work to do.’

‘Relax, Kaarl, have a bit of fun for once,’ replied Vetis.

‘Tell us what Lucifer was like,’ said Verin. ‘What did he say to you, what is his house like?’

‘He didn’t say that much,’ replied Kaarl. ‘He is every bit as intelligent and powerful as the legends would have you think; more, even. The main thing he wanted me to understand is how important our task is.’

‘I heard he doesn’t wear clothes, likes it all natural, like us,’ said Verin.

‘Did you see his junk?’ asked Vetis.

For the two most cunning and roguish Demonettes in the realm, the sisters could be very immature at times.

‘Aw, he’s getting mad,’ Verin noted in a playful tone.

‘Don’t be mad,’ said Vetis. ‘We are just really good at mixing business with pleasure. This is going to be fun, you’ll see.’

‘I don’t care if it’s fun or not,’ Kaarl told the sisters, ‘as long as we get the job done properly.’

Despite his words, Kaarl did intend to have as much fun as possible on Earth. The key to it, however, would be performance and that in turn required the twins to follow orders from time to time. If he allowed them to do as they pleased, or himself to be led astray, the fun would be short-lived for all of them and brought to a swift and brutal conclusion. Kaarl had heard at the meeting how Lucifer dealt with failure. Making sure the girls knew he was in charge and the task was important would be crucial to the long life he wanted to live in the Mortal realm.

‘Will you look at that?’ said Vetis, noticing the stern look. ‘Barely an hour into a management position and he is already heart-attack material.’

‘Isn’t his serious executive face the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?’ asked her sister.

The twins both started giggling and Kaarl couldn’t help but smile, despite his attempt at a solemn, heavy-is-the-crown expression. Their humour was as infectious as it was inappropriate.

‘That’s what we wanted to see,’ said Vetis.

‘You should be happy,’ Vetis told him. ‘This is a great opportunity, for all of us. When it’s time to be serious we will, but for now at least you should celebrate.’

The girls summoned a waiter over and within moments all three had glasses of whisky raised.

‘To us,’ said the twins and all three downed their drinks.

‘All right,’ said Kaarl as his glass hit the table, ‘I feel celebratory enough. Where is Mark?’

‘One drink…’ said Vetis.

‘Somebody call the Zoo!’ shouted Verin. ‘See if they’re missing a party animal.’

‘From what you’ve both told me, we will have plenty of opportunities to get drunk on Earth. Let’s get the ball rolling, shall we, and leave the partying until we’ve actually accomplished something.’

‘Yes sir,’ the twins chimed, standing and saluting.

‘This way, Lord Kaarl,’ said Verin with a mock bow. ‘We gave Mark a copy of your proposal when we got here and we’ve been keeping him and his companions on ice for you.’

Kaarl followed the twins across the VIP lounge to Mark White’s table. One of the Damned, he had died in the early 1960s but during his heyday had played a large part in convincing the world that smoking was not only flavourful and satisfying, but also fashionable. Had a malignant, undiagnosed tumour not claimed his life, modern tobacco companies would have been selling a range of smaller, fun-coloured cigarettes for children.

Mark looked much as he had when he died, wearing the same dark blue pinstripe suit he was buried in. Square-jawed with hard, pale blue eyes and small specks of grey just starting to show in his otherwise black crew-cut. His entourage was comprised of men all in a similar vein. Although their products and roles varied, they were all scoundrels, salesmen, fly-by-nighters or marketing geniuses. Between them they had sold everything from highly flammable children’s wear and bottled water to untested baby formula and carcinogenic meat additives. They were the masters of the hard sell. They had taken products that were mundane and in some cases downright deadly and made Joe Q Public not only accept them, but pay good, hard-earned money for them.

‘Girls!’ Mark yelled as he saw them approach his table. ‘Welcome back. Ah, and here is the man of the hour. Sit, please sit. I hear congratulations are in order.’ Kaarl took the offered seat next to Mark.

‘You’ve got a hard sell there, my boy, a hard sell indeed. Trust us, we should know.’ The assembled sleaze merchants all nodded in solemn agreement.

‘Not only are you selling a lifestyle or ideal rather than a product, almost all of humanity has been conditioned to fear the very thing you stand for.’ Mark finished his glass and signalled the waiter for a replacement.

‘From what I’ve read, you’ve already got the gist of it. Try to convince everyone, of course, but concentrate on the young ones. They are more impressionable and a seed planted now bears fruit in the future. You have got no easy task, as I’m sure you are aware. All those preconceived notions about Hell; if they even suspected you were trying to lead them down here you’d be finished overnight.’

Kaarl was fully aware of the challenges but hearing it so bluntly from someone else made him a little more anxious. Mark finished another glass and threw up his hand again.

‘I must admit, the way you are going about it, the scale of it all, is not something I am entirely familiar with. Some of my companions are, though, and what they tell me is this. Because of the wide range of people you are after, you are going to need to compartmentalize your operation. Some people will require a lot of convincing, others just a hint. If you push too hard in one area and draw too much attention, you need to be able to get rid of it without endangering the whole thing. Your first priority acquisition, apart from my old friend whom I’m sure you’ll find very useful, should be talented and unscrupulous corporate lawyers. With them as a safety net you should have, in essence, your very own Hydra. If they cut one head off, you can grow another three in its place.’ Mark raised his fourth drink in as many minutes drinking a toast.

‘And here is to the absence of a Hercules to spoil your fun!’

The trio left Mark and his friends to their merriment after some polite chit-chat and headed back to their own table.

‘So are we ready?’ asked Verin.

‘Yes, after what Mark told me, I think so,’ said Kaarl.

He was grateful he had taken time to listen to last minute suggestions. He knew that lawyers would be essential; he had not, however, understood the true value of the position. He had thought that Mark’s group would have had more advice for him or would have seen other areas that needed improvement. Kaarl knew the vast quantities of liquor they were consuming would not have affected their judgement. He took the lack of critiquing to be confirmation of his plan’s completeness.

‘Just one last thing, and it’s a major one. You are sure securing money won’t be a problem once we are there?’ he asked the twins.

‘Not a problem at all,’ said Vetis.

‘There are so many wealthy people who sold their souls to get where they are. We just turn up and collect,’ her sister added.

‘That sounds too easy.’

‘Oh, sure, some of them put up a fight but you just start rattling off their deepest, most sordid secrets and they soon realise you’re the real deal and cough up.’

‘And if that doesn’t work you can just shift,’ added Vetis. ‘A glimpse of Hell on Earth usually gets them if the more subtle stuff fails.’

‘All right,’ said Kaarl, as he got up to leave, ‘your confidence is definitely reassuring, but what about when we first get there? We’re going to need…what did you call it?’

‘Walking around money,’ replied Verin. The twins shared a mischievous look.

‘Just leave that to us,’ they said.

The trio left Faithless and Asteroth met them outside on the steps. Kaarl assumed the sour look on the Treasurer’s face was due to his abrupt departure. Either that or the “fat” comment.

‘Are your preparations complete?’ asked Asteroth.

‘Yes, we’re ready,’ replied Kaarl. ‘Where to now?’

‘Now you go to their Realm and prove Lucifer wasn’t nutty sending three young people on such an important assignment.’

‘What, from here?’ Kaarl asked. He glanced to his left as one of the Damned vomited on the red carpet.

‘What were you expecting, boy? Some sort of summoning stone? A sacred ritual sacrifice on a mountain with goats and virgins?’

‘A goodbye kiss would be nice,’ said Vetis.

‘Just not from a lecherous old scumbag like you,’ added her sister.

‘They say the children are our future,’ sighed the Treasurer. ‘Off with you, then!’

The last thing Kaarl saw was Asteroth raise his flabby arms and then his vision went blank.

Chapter Five: Welcome to the World

Before his eyesight had even begun to clear, the first thing Kaarl noticed was the smell. Damp concrete and trash were new to the demon’s senses, yet underlying that was something else entirely. It was neither pleasant nor stomach-churning, but the Mortal realm had its own distinct odour. The noises of a human city surrounded him, cars mainly, and, thanks to the Internet, that much was at least semi-familiar. Two blurry shapes walked towards him.

‘Up you get,’ said Vetis, grabbing Kaarl by one arm, her sister by the other.

‘It feels like I’m surrounded by tar,’ he told the twins. Kaarl’s voice sounded distant in his head and he found standing to be quite difficult, even with the twins’ help.

‘You get used to it,’ Verin promised as she steadied him. ‘Things move a lot more slowly here than back home.’

Kaarl’s most immediate feeling was one of loss. He had not tried to fly, he hadn’t even thought about it, but somehow he knew he couldn’t. Strength had never been his greatest asset but he could feel that was significantly diminished as well. After a few minutes his eyesight was almost fully restored and he could see the twins in detail. They had the same striking green eyes, facial structure and slim figures but with flawlessly tanned skin, blonde hair and their breasts had grown quite considerably.

‘I hate wearing clothes,’ said Vetis as she tugged at her revealing little black dress. It was more like a piece of material just wrapped around her. It hugged every curve and left very little to the imagination.

‘Those outfits barely qualify,’ said Kaarl, still drowsy from the transfer.

He looked at his own clothes. On instinct he had shifted into something very similar to his father’s favourite black suit and shirt combination. Kaarl had studied images of male models, actors and body sculptors and taken their most striking features and physiques to craft himself a form for his work on Earth. He had given himself deep blue eyes, black hair and a face and body that would render any female numb with desire. Attracting the opposite sex was not the vessel’s purpose, though; it was just a fact that everything was a little easier on Earth for the remarkably attractive.

‘These dresses are just for now,’ said Verin, tugging at hers. ‘We can go shopping for other clothes later; I love shopping.’

‘What’s the point?’ asked Kaarl. ‘We can shift into whatever outfit we want and you hate wearing clothes. Why bother with shopping?’

‘Because we can’t do it in Perdition,’ replied Vetis. ‘Everything is free down there and that’s so boring. Up here money separates the haves from the have nots and fashion is a religion. Women know when you’re wearing a pair of shoes that cost more than their car and you can see the jealousy on their faces. It’s shallow and elitist and I absolutely love it.’

‘We also have to wear clothes up here,’ said Verin. ‘You go to prison if you don’t. Seeing as that’s the case, our outfits need to be as fabulous as what they’re covering up.’