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He realised then, that he had forgotten the shoes he had gone in for. He looked at the door of the department store, but he couldn’t face seeing Madeleine again, let alone admitting that he had forgotten what he had gone in for. He would just have to pop in again another day, but then maybe Madeleine would think he had gone back to see her. He no longer had feelings for the woman, they had grown apart since they were younger, but it was still awkward, and he felt a certain sense of betrayal towards Johanna for even being in the same room as an old flame. He would have to find a time when she wasn’t working.
The shoes wouldn’t be going anywhere, and he could always surprise Johanna another time. He thought of the joyous look she would give him when he gave her the gift, and he smiled as he walked away from the store.
*
Further along High Street on the corner that intersected with The Pollet, Jack was stopped by a scene that made his heart stop. A group of men walked along the street in his direction, tall men wearing pristine grey uniforms with rifles slung on their shoulders. They were calling to each other in German and cheering when they saw a local. Jack took a step backwards without realising. Part of him, some ancient instinct he barely had control over, wanted to run away, to be as far away from them as possible. Their very presence was intimidating, like the boys who had run the schoolyard. He forced himself to stand firm. He would not run.
If this was the invasion, then it was tame compared to what Jack and the others had expected. The bombing of the island and the harbour had been a horrible tragedy, bringing about completely needless deaths, but it had felt distant, even to Jack. Yet he had expected a proper invasion to be closer, more frantic, full of the sounds of gunfire and explosions ripping past him as he tried futilely to defend his home.
Instead, they walked past, some of them flashing smiles at the few locals who were around. They smelt like the British soldiers, but much, much stronger. Gun oil, boot polish, and a weird perfume that he couldn’t quite place. They talked German softly between themselves as some broke off from the group to enter the shops and others stopped in pairs to smoke. The clean white cigarettes gave off a different colour of smoke than the local variants and only added to the feeling that these men were different, somehow alien.
They were shopping as if it was normal, as if they were locals going about their business, rather than invaders. Jack wondered whether it was all part of their plan, to act normally and build confidence in the local population. He couldn’t feel anything but contempt for these men, even though he didn’t know them. He needed to go to the police station, warn them that the rest of the German soldiers had arrived and were treating the town as their own. He looked around himself to see if any of them were watching, and then like a criminal he slunk away down the back streets to advise his superiors.
*
2 July 1940
The crowds were starting to gather outside and around the Royal Hotel, forming a line along the promenade facing out to sea. It seemed as if everyone wanted to get a look at the occupation force as it gave its first parade. Whether it was out of a sense of morbid curiosity, Jack wasn’t sure, but they had come in numbers. The police had expected as much, and he had been posted along with David and the rest of his colleagues to stand guard along the route. It was more like a guard of honour than any real effort to prevent trouble. Despite the interest, there would be many who were unhappy with the occupiers, and some may take things into their own hands. Jack wasn’t sure what he could do in that situation, but he would not refuse his duty.
He found it difficult to concentrate as the minutes dragged by, and his mind drifted to Johanna. What would she be thinking now that the Germans were here? He was lost in his own thoughts when he heard the shouting. He scanned the crowd, but there were too many people. He felt David tense and take a step forward beside him.
‘My husband! My husband! Has anyone seen my husband?’ The woman was close to running as she pushed through the crowd. She was looking around her, moving on with each glance. The more she looked, the more frantic she became, turning this way and that, going back on herself before seeming to change her mind. Her dress was frayed and torn and there was mud splattered up one side. Her brown hair was also in a tangle. It was unusual that someone would be seen out in public in this state.
‘I’ll look into it,’ Jack said to David, who nodded in reply. Jack stepped out of the line to take charge, moving between the crowd of onlookers who stood gawping at the distressed woman. He didn’t know her, but her face was faintly familiar. He reached out an arm to stop her running off in the other direction again and tried to soothe her with his tone of voice. It was something he had practised before. She stopped but still looked around, her manner slowing down with each passing second.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, keeping his voice low.
‘My husband …’ was all she would say at first, until Jack pressed her.
‘What about him?’ he asked. ‘Tell me what happened and I will try to help.’
‘My husband. He’s gone,’ she said, her voice becoming a whisper, uncertain of what she was saying. Jack had to resist the urge to embrace and comfort her. He stood as close as was comfortable to hide her from the prying eyes of the crowd. ‘I went home and he wasn’t there. He was supposed to be there.’
He wondered how he would have felt if he were in this woman’s shoes, desperately searching for Johanna. Relatively speaking, she was the very model of calm. Jack thought about taking her home, to delve further into the problem, but he was needed here. The crowds were already pressing in and if he left his post then there would be chaos.
‘I want to help,’ he said. ‘But I need you to calm down and tell me exactly what happened.’
He led her aside to the mouth of an alley between two shops so that they wouldn’t be overheard. She took a few deep breaths then looked up at him. Her deep brown eyes cleared as if seeing him for the first time. At first her words were difficult to fully discern, but as she spoke she grew in confidence. ‘When the evacuation was announced,’ she said, ‘my husband and I, we decided that I should leave for England. We weren’t sure if it would be safe here, and we didn’t want to take the risk. So I signed up to go, but he … He had work here, work he had to stay for. So we decided that we would separate for the time being while the war was on. He stayed here and I caught a ship to England.
‘Only, I couldn’t stand it there, without him. Almost as soon as I got there I found a boat heading back. I couldn’t bear to be away from him, no matter how dangerous it was. Now I’m back, I can’t find him anywhere. Please help me.’
Sudden recollection dawned on Jack. He knew he had seen the woman before. It had been down in the harbour on the day the army were leaving and they were organising the boats to take people to the mainland. He had only caught a brief glimpse of the woman and her husband, but the image had stayed with him and he had seen the husband a few times since. ‘Oh dear,’ he said out loud, without realising he had spoken. Her mouth worked, trying to form a question. Jack saved her the trouble. ‘Your husband is fine,’ he said. ‘At least as far as I know. But the terrible thing is … Well, I saw him boarding one of the last boats to leave for the mainland.’
‘He … What?!’ The colour drained from her face, and her mouth hung open in shock.
‘I’m sorry,’ Jack replied. ‘He must have gone after you. He’ll be safely in England by now.’
‘I …’ She stopped again, her eyes darting as her thoughts raced. ‘I have to find a boat. I have to find a way off this island!’
She looked as if she was about to start running again, like an animal in flight. There was a wildness in her eyes that almost made Jack recoil. He wanted to do something to help, but he couldn’t think what. With the parade due to start he wouldn’t be able to leave his post without getting in trouble. There was only one thing he could think of.
‘Try Petit Port,’ he said, probably stating the obvious. ‘There may still be one or two boat crews that want to get out before the Germans take over the whole island.’
She nodded, but it wasn’t clear whether she had heard him, then she touched his arm. ‘Thank you,’ she said, words faint again. She picked up her skirts and ran off down the road, looking every bit like an actress from a film.
‘Good luck,’ Jack called after her before she was completely out of earshot.
*
Twenty or so minutes later, when everything had calmed down again and the crowds had pushed in, the Germans came marching along the road in groups, and into the centre of St Peter Port. Sergeant Honfleur walked at the head of the parade as they passed the Lloyds Bank on the corner, leading them along the route around the town. He looked about as happy to be there as Jack felt. The Germans’ field grey uniforms blended in with the grey stone of the shops and houses, but the red banners they carried, centred with a white circle and the German hooked cross, stood out sharply. They marched in step, four abreast, throwing their legs up in front of them in a flamboyant way that Jack had never seen before. Their bands came between each section of troops, driving them on with a rasp of brass instruments.
The Islanders came out of their homes to line the roads. The Germans were stern, but proud, as if they expected the residents to welcome them. The bands were deafening in their marching pomp, resounding glory, but the Islanders simply stared back, unsure of how to react. The Germans behaved like heroic liberators, but were nothing more than conquerors, adding the islands to their empire.
Jack stood with his compatriots, watching. A thousand thoughts rushed through his head at once. He thought of what this would mean for the island, and for him as a policeman. Like his colleagues, he’d been ordered to stand along the marching route, to make sure that the civilians kept their distance from the German soldiers. He’d been stationed almost at the centre of the town by The Pollet, but he wasn’t sure who to protect from whom, and he felt like he was standing between his countryfolk and their invaders. He had never felt more alone than at that moment, the only man visible in uniform, but not in the uniform of the German Wehrmacht.
He stood still and sighed deeply as another square of Germans goose-stepped past. He hoped Johanna was keeping herself away from trouble. It would be just like her to stand up to the Germans and cause some issue. They were seriously outnumbered, and there were very few places to hide.
‘You ought to be ashamed of yourself!’ A woman Jack didn’t know pushed herself in front of him, coming within a hair’s breadth of him. Under normal circumstances he would have been quick to show his authority, but tempers were rising. Jack simply stood his ground, as passive as possible, but the woman stepped closer to him. He could feel the tension radiating off her body like an approaching thunderstorm. She was close to spitting in his face. Even as a policeman he had never experienced such an open expression of anger. It wasn’t the first time he had heard those sentiments in the last few days, but it hurt more for some reason. The crowd had pressed in between Jack and David and he was on his own. He stood up tall, the woman shaking with anger in front of him.
‘Please step back,’ he said, close to losing his patience. He didn’t want to be there any more than she wanted him there, but he didn’t have much of a choice.
‘Whose side are you on anyway?’ she replied, raising her voice so that everyone around could hear. The crowd stared at him, no doubt wondering what he was going to do.
‘I’m on no one’s side, madam,’ he said, speaking low so that those prying couldn’t hear. It was a standard police response, but on this occasion it didn’t seem right. He was on a side, but he wasn’t sure which it was.
‘Don’t madam me,’ she continued, just as loud as before. ‘I suppose you’re just going to let them march all over the island and take what they want. Aren’t you supposed to be upholding the law? Or do you just do what they want now?’
Jack took a deep breath and put his arms out, trying to guide the woman away from the crowd. She scowled at him and took a step backwards.
‘They’re not breaking any laws,’ he said, feeling pathetic. ‘There’s really nothing I can do, no matter how much I want to.’
The woman stopped and looked up at him again. She sighed, as if she was taking his words for an admission. They probably were, but he hadn’t meant them to be. ‘One of these days, you’ll have to pick a side,’ she said, before tutting loudly and pushing her way back into the crowd, leaving Jack standing on his own in the middle of the road between the Germans and his fellow Islanders.
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