The Best Kept Secrets...: The Secret Affair

It was during that first year that they agreed to bring Ivy in on their secret. Otherwise, her roommate would have been worried when Jillian went missing because she was staying with Aidan at the hotel.

Jillian had fallen more and more in love with Aidan during that time. Although she’d had a lot to keep her busy, she missed him when they were apart. But he’d made up for it when he came to town. And even though they’d spent a lot of time in bed making love, their relationship wasn’t just about sex. However, she would have to say that the sex was off the chain, and the sexual tension between them was still so thick you could cut it with a knife. Ivy could attest to that and had teased Jillian about it all the time.

It was also during that first year that their control had been tested whenever they went home for holidays, weddings or baby christenings. She would be the first to admit she had felt jealous more than a few times when Aidan’s single male cousins, who assumed he was still a player on the prowl, would try setting him up with other women.

Everything had gone well between them as they moved into their second year together. Aidan had helped her relocate to New Orleans after she bid a teary goodbye to Ivy. Jillian leased a one-bedroom efficiency apartment not far from the hospital where she would be working. It was perfect for her needs, but lonely.

It was during the third year that it became harder for Aidan to get away. The hospitals demanded more of his time. And her telephone conversations with him had been reduced from nightly to three times a week. She could tell he was frustrated with the situation. More than once he’d commented that he wished she would have applied to a medical school closer to Maine or North Carolina.

Jillian tried to ignore his attitude but found that difficult to do. Although Aidan didn’t say so, deep down she knew the secrecy surrounding their affair was getting to him. It had begun to get to her, as well. And when it seemed Aidan was becoming distant, she knew she had to do something.

When Ivy came to visit Jillian in New Orleans one weekend, she talked to her best friend about the situation. Even now Jillian could remember that time as if it was yesterday...

* * *

“So, how is Aidan?" Ivy asked, after placing her order with their waitress.

Jillian had to fight back tears. “Not sure. We haven’t talked in a few days and the last time we did, we had an argument.”

Ivy raised a brow. “Another one?”

“Yes.” She’d told Ivy about their last argument. He’d wanted her to fly to Maine for the weekend for his birthday. She had been excited about doing so until she’d checked her calendar and discovered that was the same weekend of her clinicals. Something she could not miss. Instead of understanding, he’d gotten upset with her and because of his lack of understanding, she’d gotten upset with him. Their most recent argument had started because he told her his twin now knew about them. He’d gotten angry when she’d accused him of breaking his promise and telling Adrian. He’d explained that he didn’t have to tell his brother anything. He and his twin could detect each other’s moods and feelings sometimes.

“I’m tired of arguing with him, Ivy, and a part of me knows the reason our relationship is getting so strained.”

Ivy nodded. “Long-distance romances are hard to maintain, Jillian, and I’m sure the secrecy surrounding your affair isn’t helping.”

“Yes, I know, which is why I’ve made a few decisions.”

Ivy lifted a brow. “About what?”

Jillian drew in a deep breath. “I’ve decided to tell Pam about us. The secrecy has gone on long enough. I believe my sister will accept the fact that I’m now an adult and old enough to decide what I want to do in my life and the person I want in it.”

“Good for you.”

“Thanks. I know she’s been concerned about Aidan’s womanizing reputation, but once she realizes that I love him and he loves me, I believe she will give us her blessing.”

Jillian took a sip of her drink and continued, “But before I tell Pam, I’m flying to Maine to see Aidan. Next weekend is his birthday and I’ve decided to be there to help him celebrate.”

“What about your clinicals?”

Jillian smiled. “I went to my professor and told her I desperately needed that weekend off. She agreed to work with me and arrange for me to do a makeup the following weekend.”

“That was nice of her.”

“Yes, it was. She said I was a good student, the first to volunteer for projects and my overall attendance is great. So now I’m set to go.”

Ivy grinned. “Did you tell Aidan?”

“No. I’m going to surprise him. He mentioned that since I wouldn’t be there to celebrate with him that he would sign up to work that day and then hang around his place, watch TV and go to bed early.”

“On his birthday? That’s a bummer.”

“Yes, and that’s why I plan to fly there to help him celebrate.”

“You’re doing the right thing by being there. I think it’s wonderful that you’re finally letting your sister know about you and Aidan. When she sees how much he adores you she will be happy for the two of you.”

A huge smile touched Jillian’s lips. “I believe so, too.”

* * *

Jillian stepped out on the balcony to look at the ocean as she recalled what happened after that. She had been excited when she’d boarded the plane for Portland, Maine. She couldn’t wait to tell Aidan of her decision to end the secrecy surrounding their affair and to celebrate his birthday with him.

Due to stormy weather in Atlanta, her connecting flight had been delayed five solid hours and she didn’t arrive in Portland until six that evening. It had been another hour before she’d arrived at his apartment complex, anxious to use the door key he’d given her a year ago for the first time.

The moment she’d stepped off the elevator onto his floor she knew a party was going on in one of the apartments. Loud music blasted and boisterous voices made her ears ache. She hadn’t known all the noise was coming from Aidan’s apartment until she’d reached the door, which she didn’t have to unlock since it was slightly ajar.

Jillian walked in and looked around. The place was crowded and there were more women in attendance than men. The women were wearing outfits that probably wouldn’t be allowed out on the streets.

Jillian wondered what had happened to Aidan’s decision to come home from work, watch TV and go to bed. It seemed he’d decided to throw a party instead and it was in full swing. In the center of the room Aidan sat in a recliner while some scantily dressed woman gave him a lap dance. And from the look on his face, he was enjoying every single minute of it. Some of the guys on the sidelines, who she figured must be Aidan’s friends, were egging on both him and the woman, which prompted the woman to make the dance even more erotic.

When the woman began stripping off her clothes, starting with the barely-there strap of material covering her breasts, Jillian was shocked. She knew she’d seen enough when the woman’s breasts all but smothered Aidan’s face while she wiggled out of her panties.

Not able to watch any longer, a shaken Jillian had left, grateful Aidan hadn’t even noticed her presence. What hurt more than anything was that he’d appeared to be enjoying every single minute of the dance. Aidan Westmoreland had seemed in his element. She couldn’t help wondering if they had stopped with the dance or if he and the woman had ended up doing other things later.

When he’d called her a few days later he hadn’t mentioned anything about the party at his apartment and she hadn’t said anything about being there to witness what had gone on. And when she asked how he’d spent his birthday, he angered her even more when he gave her a smart aleck answer, asking, “Why do you care when you didn’t care enough to spend it with me?”

He was wrong. She had cared enough. But he hadn’t cared enough to tell her the truth. It was then that she’d made the decision to end things between them, since it was apparent that he missed his life as a womanizer. When he called later in the week and made another excuse for not flying to New Orleans to see her as he’d planned, she decided that would be a good time to break things off with him. She would give him his freedom, let him go back to the life he missed.

Deciding the less drama the better, she told him the secrecy of their affair was weighing her down, making her lose focus, and she couldn’t handle it any longer. She didn’t tell him the true reason she’d wanted to end things.

Her declaration led to a huge argument between them. When he told her he was flying to New Orleans to talk to her, she told him she didn’t want to see him. Then she ended the conversation.

He had called several times to talk to her but she’d refused to answer and eventually blocked his number. She knew that was the reason for the angry looks he’d given her when she’d attended the last couple of Westmoreland weddings. The last time she’d seen him was a few months ago at Stern’s ceremony.

There had been no reason to tell Pam about the affair that had been a secret for so long, so she hadn’t. The last thing Jillian needed was for her sister to remind her that just like a tiger couldn’t change its stripes neither could a womanizer change his ways.

It had been a year since their breakup. At times she felt she had moved on, but other times she felt she had not. It was so disappointing and painful to think about the future they could have been planning together now that she’d finished medical school, if only things had worked out the way she’d hoped they would.

Jillian wiped the tears from her eyes, refusing to shed any more for Aidan. She was on this cruise to have fun and enjoy herself, and she intended to do just that.

* * *

“Yes, Adrian?"

“I’m glad I was able to reach you before ship left port. I just want to wish you the best. I hope everything works out the way you want with Jill.”

Aidan hoped things worked out the way he wanted, as well. “Thanks.”

Like Paige, Adrian and Aidan’s cousin Stern had figured out something was going on between him and Jillian a couple of years ago. “I will do whatever I have to do to get her back. When this ship returns to port, my goal is to have convinced Jillian to give me another chance.”

“Well, Trinity and I are cheering for you.”

“Thanks, bro.” Trinity was Adrian’s fiancée and the two would be getting married in a couple of months.

After ending his phone call with Adrian, Aidan crossed the suite to step out on the balcony. Barcelona was beautiful. He had arrived three days ago and taken a tour of what was considered one of the busiest ports in the Mediterranean. He had eaten at the finest restaurants, some in magnificent buildings etched deep with history. He had walked through the crowded streets wishing Jillian had been by his side. Hopefully when they returned to this port in fourteen days she would be.

He could just imagine what Jillian had assumed when she’d seen that woman giving him a lap dance last year. He had worked that day, as he’d told her he would, but he hadn’t known about the surprise birthday party a few of his fraternity brothers had thrown for him.

And he definitely hadn’t known about the lap dancer or the other strippers they’d invited until the women arrived. He couldn’t get mad at his frat brothers for wanting to make his birthday kind of wild. All they knew was that for the past few years, the man who’d once been one of the biggest womanizers in Boston had taken a sabbatical from women. They’d had no idea that the reason for his seemingly boring lifestyle was because he was involved in a secret affair with Jillian.

So, thinking he’d been working too hard for too long and hadn’t gotten in any play time, they thought they were doing him a favor. He would admit that after a few drinks he’d loosened up. But at no time had he forgotten he was in love with Jillian. The lap dance had been just for fun, and after the party all the women had left.

Yes, he’d made a mistake by not mentioning the party to Jillian. And he would be the first to admit his attitude had been less than desirable for the last year of their relationship. But he knew why. He’d had the best of intentions when he thought he could keep their secret without any problems, but as time went on, he’d become impatient. While she hadn’t wanted anyone to know about them, he had wanted to shout the truth from the highest mountain.

It hadn’t helped matters when some of his siblings and cousins began falling in love and getting married. It seemed as if an epidemic had hit Westmoreland Country when five of his relatives got married in a two-year period. And some had been relatives he’d thought would never marry. It had been hard being around his happily married kinfolk without wanting to have some of that happiness for himself. He would admit he’d spent too many months angry with himself, with Jillian, with the world. But at no time did he doubt his love for her.

Nothing had changed his feelings. He was still in love with her, which was why he was here. To right a wrong and convince her that she was the only woman he wanted.

He knew he had his work cut out for him. But he intended to stay the course and not fail in his task. She wouldn’t appreciate seeing him and she probably wouldn’t like it when she found out about Paige’s involvement. Or Ivy’s for that matter. If Ivy hadn’t told Paige the truth, he would still be angry, thinking the reason Jillian had broken up with him was because they were at odds regarding the secret of their affair.

He went back inside when he heard the cabin phone ring. He picked it up. “Yes?”

“I hope you find your quarters satisfactory.”

Aidan smiled. That was an understatement. “It’s more than satisfactory, Dominic.”

This ship was just one of many in a fleet owned by Dominic Saxon. Dominic was married to the former Taylor Steele, whose sister Cheyenne was married to Aidan’s cousin, Quade Westmoreland. Once Aidan discovered Jillian had booked her cruise on one of Dominic’s ships, his friend had been all too eager to assist Aidan in getting back the woman he loved. Years ago Dominic had found himself in a similar situation.

“Taylor sends her love and we’re all rooting for you. I know how misunderstandings can threaten even the most solid relationships, and I think you’re doing the right thing by going after her,” Dominic said. “I’m going to give you the same advice a very smart woman—my mother—gave me when I was going through my troubles with Taylor. Let love guide you to do the right thing. I hope the two of you enjoy the cruise.”

“Thanks for the advice, and as for enjoying the cruise, I intend to make sure that we do.”

After ending his call with Dominic, Aidan glanced around the cabin. Thanks to Dominic, Aidan had been given the owner’s suite. It was spacious with a double balcony. There were also separate sleeping quarters with a king-size bed and a seventy-inch flat-screen television and a second wall-to-wall balcony. The sitting area contained a sofa that could convert into a double bed, another wall television and a dining area that overlooked yet another balcony. Other amenities he appreciated were the refrigerator, wet bar and huge walk-in closet. The bathroom was bigger than the one he had in his apartment, with both a Jacuzzi tub and a walk-in shower. He could just imagine him and Jillian using that shower together.

He walked back out on the balcony to see that people had gathered on the docks to watch the ship sail, waving flags that represented all the countries they would visit on the cruise. He expected Jillian to attend the welcome party tonight and so would he. Aidan couldn’t wait to see Jillian’s face when she discovered he was on board with her and would be for the next fourteen days.

He headed for the bathroom to shower.

Tonight couldn’t get here fast enough.

* * *

“Welcome, señorita, may we assist with your mask?”

Jillian lifted a brow. “Mask?”

The tall crewman dressed in a crisp white uniform smiled down at her. “Si. Tonight’s theme is a Spanish masquerade ball,” he said, offering a red feathered mask to her.

She took it and slid it across her face. It was a perfect fit. “Thanks.”

“Your name?” he asked.

“Jillian Novak.”

“Señorita Novak, dinner will be served in a half hour in the Madrid Room; someone will come escort you to your table.”

“Thanks.”

She entered the huge lounge that had beautiful rosettes hanging from the ceiling and several masquerade props in the corners of the room for picture taking. Flamenco dancers encouraged participation in the middle of the floor and several men dressed as dashing bullfighters walked around as servers. When a woman wearing a gorgeous quinceañera gown offered her a beautiful lace fan, Jillian smiled and took it.

“Would the señorita like a glass of rioja?”

“Yes, thanks,” she responded to one of the servers.

Jillian took a sip and immediately liked the taste. It wasn’t too tart or tangy but was an excellent blend of fruits. As she sipped her wine she looked around the room. It was crowded and most of the individuals were coupled off. Immediately, she felt like a loner crashing a party, but forced the feeling away. So what if there were a lot of couples and she had no one? She’d known it would be like this but had made the decision to come anyway.

“Excuse me, señorita, but someone asked me to give you this,” the woman wearing the quinceañera gown said, while handing her a single red rose.

“Who?” Jillian asked, curiously glancing around.

The woman smiled. “A very handsome man.” And then she walked off.

Jillian felt uneasy. What kind of very handsome man would come cruising alone? She’d seen a movie once where a serial killer had come on a cruise ship and stalked single women. No one had known just how many women he’d killed and thrown overboard until the end of the cruise. For crying out loud, why was she remembering that particular movie now?

She drew in a deep breath knowing she was letting her imagination get the best of her. The man was probably someone who’d seen her alone and wanted to state his interest by giving her a rose. Romantic but a total waste of his time. Even the woman’s claim that he was very handsome did nothing for Jillian since she wasn’t ready to get involved with anyone. Even after a full year, she compared every man to Aidan. That was the main reason she hadn’t dated anyone since him. On the other hand, she would bet any amount of money Aidan was dating someone and probably hadn’t wasted any time doing so.

She drew in a deep breath, refusing to let her mind go there. Why should she care in the least what Aidan was doing or who he was doing it with? Deciding not to think of an answer for that one, she glanced around the room, curiosity getting the best of her. She tried to find any single men but all she saw were the bullfighters serving drinks.

Jillian glanced at her watch. She’d deliberately arrived a little late so she wouldn’t have long to wait for dinner. She’d grabbed breakfast on the run to catch her plane and because she’d come straight from the Barcelona airport to the ship, she had missed lunch altogether.

After taking another sip of her wine, she was about to check her watch again when suddenly her skin heated. Was that desire floating in her stomach? Why? And for who? This was definitely odd.

Jillian searched the room in earnest as a quiver inched up her spine. Declining a server’s offer of another drink, she nearly dismissed what was happening as a figment of her imagination when she saw him. A man wearing a teal feathered mask stood alone on the other side of the room, watching her. So she watched back, letting her gaze roam over him. Was he the one who’d given her the rose? Who was he? Why was she reacting to him this way?

As she studied him she found him oddly familiar. Was she comparing the man to Aidan to the point where everything about him reminded her of her ex? His height? His build? The low cut of his hair?

She shook her head. She was losing it. She needed another drink after all. That’s when the man began walking toward her. She wasn’t going crazy. She didn’t know the when, how or why of it, but there was no doubt in her mind that the man walking toward her—mask or no mask—was Aidan. No other man had a walk like he did. And those broad shoulders...

He was sex appeal on legs and he walked the part. It was a stroll of self-confidence and sinful eroticism. How could he have this effect on her after a full year? She drew in a deep breath. That’s not the question she should be asking. What she wanted to know was why he was on the same cruise with her. She refused to believe it was a coincidence.

Her spine stiffened when he came to a stop in front of her. Her nostrils had picked up his scent from five feet away and now her entire body was responding. Sharp, crackling energy stirred to life between them. And from the look in his eyes he felt it, as well. Hot. Raw. Primal.

She didn’t want it. Nor did she need that sort of sexual attraction to him again. She blew out a frustrated breath. “Aidan, what are you doing here?”

* * *

Aidan wasn't surprised that she had recognized him with the mask on. After all, they’d shared a bed for three solid years so she should know him inside out, clothes or not...just like he knew her. Case in point, he knew exactly what she was wearing beneath that clingy black dress. As little as possible, which meant only a bra and thong. And more than likely both were made of lace. She had the figure to handle just about anything she put on—or nothing at all. Frankly, he preferred nothing at all.

“I asked you what you’re doing here.”

He noted her voice had tightened in anger and he figured it best to answer. “I’ve always wanted to take a Mediterranean cruise.”

She rolled her eyes. “And you want me to believe you being here is a coincidence? That you had no idea I was here on this cruise ship?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying, Aidan?”

He placed his half-empty wineglass on the tray of a passing waiter, just in case Jillian was tempted to douse him with it. “I’ll tell you after dinner.”

“After dinner? No, you will tell me now.”

Her voice had risen and several people glanced over at them. “I think we need to step outside to finish our discussion.”

She frowned. “I think not. You can tell me what I want to know right here.”

In anger, she walked into the scant space separating them and leaned in close, her lips almost brushing his. That was too close. His bottom lip tingled and his heart beat like crazy when he remembered her taste. A taste he’d become addicted to. A taste he’d gone a year without.

“I wouldn’t bring my mouth any closer if I were you,” he warned in a rough whisper.

She blinked as if realizing how close they were. Heeding his warning, she quickly took a step back. “I still want answers, Aidan. What are you doing here?”

He decided to be totally honest with her. Give her the naked truth and let her deal with it. “I came on this cruise, Jillian, with the full intention of winning you back.”

Chapter Eleven

Jillian stared at Aidan as his words sank in. That’s when she decided it would be best for them to take this discussion to a more private area after all. She removed her mask. “I think we need to step outside the room, Aidan.”

When they stepped into a vacant hallway, she turned to him. “How dare you assume all you had to do was follow me on this cruise to win me back?”