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They regarded each other silently. His rough and chiseled features did nothing to downplay his handsomeness. Instead they placed a greater emphasis on his detached emotions. “What are you doing here, Dex? I thought you had left.”
Dex didn’t respond to Caitlin’s statement. Instead, he took a good look at her appearance. He had begun worrying when she hadn’t come downstairs. Studying her intently, he took in the unhealthy pallor of her skin.
“You’re ill, Caitlin.” It was a statement and not a question.
“What?” Caitlin asked. Tearing her gaze from his, she crossed her arms over her abdomen, chasing away a chill.
Seeing her tremble, Dex entered her room. “I said, you’re ill.”
Caitlin shook her head. “I’m not ill, Dex, just tired.”
He wasn’t easily convinced. “Maybe you should see a doctor.”
“I don’t want to see a doctor. All I want is to be left alone.”
“Sorry, that’s not an option.” With a quick movement, Dex swept her off her feet into his arms.
“What do you think you’re doing? Put me down this minute!”
“You’re too weak to argue with me, so do yourself a favor and save your strength. I’ve made lunch, and you’re going to eat it.”
“I don’t want to go downstairs. I’m too tired.”
“I can believe that. When was the last time you ate anything?”
Caitlin glared up at him. “I don’t remember. Maybe yesterday, I don’t know.”
Dex swore through gritted teeth. He carried her over to the bed and placed her on the comforter. “Where are the serving trays kept?”
“I don’t remember,” she snapped.
A slight frown touched Dex’s features. “Since you aren’t cooperating, I’ll find them myself. I’ll be back in a minute.” He left the room.
Standing, Caitlin took off her robe and tossed it on the chair across from the bed, then got back into the bed. She felt as weak as a newborn baby, and all she wanted to do was to go back to sleep. The next thing she knew, Dex had returned carrying a tray with food on it.
The aroma of the vegetable soup teased her nostrils and her stomach began growling. Sitting up, she took the tray he offered. “Thanks.”
Dex sat in a chair at the foot of her bed and watched through hooded eyes as Caitlin quickly consumed the meal he had prepared. He couldn’t help but remember another time he’d served her in bed. It had been the morning after they had gotten married. His pulse began racing at the memory of them together. He never knew how truly wonderful love between a man and a woman could be until he’d made love to her. But then…his thoughts reminded him, he’d also found out later just how painful love could be.
When Caitlin had finished eating, he removed the tray, pleased that she had eaten everything. “Now try and get some rest. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”
Caitlin yawned, fighting sleep. “Downstairs? When are you leaving?”
“I’m not.”
Caitlin blinked. “What do you mean, you’re not. I don’t remember inviting you to stay here.”
“You didn’t.” He was not ready to tell her about the contents of the letter her father had left for him. “I’ve decided to stick around to make sure you’re all right.”
Caitlin frowned. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m capable of taking care of myself.”
“Evidently your old man didn’t think so,” Dex said, gently pulling the comforter and going about tucking her in. “I made him a promise, Caitlin, and I intend to keep it.”
Caitlin yawned again. “I don’t need you here.”
“Go to sleep, Caitlin.”
“No. I’ll be fine. My father always thought of me as his little girl, Dex. You’re the one who thought of me as a woman,” Caitlin said sleepily, barely able to keep her eyes open. “Don’t you remember, you made me a woman.”
Despite his anger, a part of Dex could never forget. “Yeah, Caitlin. I remember, now go to sleep. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”
“Mmm…” she replied, drifting off into sleep.
Dex’s eyes softened as he watched her fade into blissful slumber. Reaching out, he removed a wayward strand of hair from her cheek. Her earlier words assailed him with pleasant memories. “You’re right, I made you a woman. My woman. ”
He went to the foot of the double bed, deeply disturbed by the strong emotions stirring within him. His gaze took in the feminine body nestled beneath the bedcovers. He fought a sudden wild impulse to climb into the bed beside her.
Glancing around the bedroom, his eyes caught sight of a brass picture frame on Caitlin’s dresser that held a copy of the same photograph in her father’s room. Moving to the dresser, he picked up the frame and again studied the photograph. Emotions welled deep within him. His daughter, a part of him and a part of Caitlin.
He couldn’t help but think about the things he had missed out on. Things like watching Caitlin’s belly swell while carrying his child. Being a doctor, his brother Justin had delivered his own daughter a few months ago. Although Dex knew that he himself lacked the medical qualifications needed to accomplish that same feat, nothing on earth would have prevented him from being in the labor room with Caitlin, and to have been present when Jordan was born. He wished he could have heard his daughter’s first words and seen her take her first steps.
A faint noise drew his attention back to Caitlin. She had turned in sleep, facing him. Compelled by a need he didn’t understand, Dex moved to stand by the bed again. Without conscious thought, he reached out and traced his finger across Caitlin’s brow, cheek and chin, feeling the velvety softness of her brown skin and being careful not to wake her.
Suddenly, he snatched his hand back. He wouldn’t allow himself to get burned by love again. His life had not been the same since the day he’d met her. How much pain and heartache could one man endure before learning a valuable lesson in life?
He had learned his lesson well. No matter what, Caitlin would never get close to his heart again.
Never.
Chapter 4
D ex tossed aside the magazine he’d been reading when the sound of the doorbell vibrated through the room. Moving quickly, he made his way to the door. Caitlin was upstairs sleeping, and he didn’t want her to awaken. She needed the rest.
He blinked, surprised at what he saw upon opening the door. An older woman stood before him holding a sleeping child in her arms. Dex’s throat suddenly felt tight and dry. He knew without an introduction who the woman was. And he also knew whose child she held in her arms.
His.
“You must be Ms. Logan?” he said, smiling against the sudden lump in his throat. “Please come in.”
The woman’s thin mouth curved into a smile as she stepped inside. Her eyes reflected surprise as they swept over him. “Yes, I’m Mrs. Logan.” She gazed at him with thoughtful curiosity. “You seem to know who I am, but I can’t recall ever having met you before. Although you do look familiar.” She looked down at the sleeping child in her arms and then back at Dex. “Oh,” she said, making the connection. “Jordan looks so much like you. Caitlin always said she looked a lot like her father. You must be Caitlin’s ex-husband.”
Dex nodded. Or her current one, he thought. “I’m Dexter Madaris,” he said, offering the woman his hand in a warm handshake. “Caitlin said Jordan wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.”
“Yes. That was our plans, but…”
The woman’s cheerful chatter faded into oblivion as Dex’s gaze was drawn to his child asleep in Ms. Logan’s arms.
“Mr. Madaris. Are you all right?” The older woman’s eyes, reflecting concern, reminded Dex she’d been talking to him.
“Yes, I’m sorry. What did you say?”
She looked at him closely. “I said Caitlin wasn’t expecting us back until tomorrow, but Jordan began missing her mommy. I see Caitlin’s car in the driveway. Is she home?”
“Yes, she’s upstairs sleeping.”
The woman nodded. “I’m surprised she’s here and not at the hospital. How’s Mr. Parker?”
“He died this morning.”
Ms. Logan’s smile was replaced with a sympathetic frown. “I’m so sorry. My husband and I moved into the neighborhood a couple of years ago. Mr. Parker was such a nice man. How’s Caitlin doing?”
“As well as can be expected, under the circumstances.”
Ms. Logan nodded. “Please convey my condolences to Caitlin and tell her if there’s anything my husband and I can do to let us know.” She transferred the bundle from her arms to Dex’s.
“The drive back tired Jordan out. Tell Caitlin if she needs me to babysit tomorrow, I’ll be more than happy to. Goodbye, Mr. Madaris. I’ll let myself out.”
“Goodbye.” Dex’s palms began perspiring as he stared down at his child. Tightening his arms, he cradled her closer to him. His composure crumbled. His surroundings became nonexistent. He was aware of nothing except the sleeping child he held—his daughter, his own flesh and blood.
Seeing her for the first time had a devastating impact on him. Because of his preoccupation, he was not aware of another presence in the room.
“Dex?”
He looked up to find Caitlin standing on the bottom stair. Her nap seemed to have renewed her. Her hair fanned softly about her face and shoulders. Her eyes were minus the traces of puffiness beneath them. Her skin had a satin gloss and appeared to be as smooth as the skin of the child nestled in his arms. She was wearing a cream-colored velour robe and looked absolutely beautiful and seductively innocent.
“I heard the doorbell,” she said, coming toward him.
Dex expelled his breath slowly. “Ms. Logan said Jordan missed you.”
A smile touched Caitlin’s features. “That doesn’t surprise me. Jordan and I are seldom apart, except for when I’m working.” She reached out to take their child from his arms.
Dex stared down at Caitlin’s outstretched hands. He then looked up and met her gaze. “No,” he said in a deep husky voice that did little to hide the deep emotions he felt. “I want to hold her for a while.”
Turning, he went to the sofa and sat down. Tenderly, he cradled his daughter in his arms, holding her close.
Caitlin took a deep breath to ease the awful ache in her chest after witnessing this first-time meeting of father and daughter. She started back up the stairs, but stopped when she heard the sound of her name from Dex’s lips. She turned around. Dex was staring at her over Jordan’s head and was holding his free hand out to her.
A warm feeling touched Caitlin with Dex’s offer of a temporary truce. She walked over to the sofa and placed her hand in his. Gently pulling her down on the couch next to him, he drew her against him.
“She’s beautiful, Caitlin, and I want to thank you for her.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Dex.”
“Yes, I do. There were other options you could’ve taken. And I’m glad you didn’t choose any of them.”
Her gaze held his. “Jordan has been my joy, Dex. There was never a question that I wanted her.”
Dex’s expression remained neutral, although Caitlin could feel his body stiffen when he said, “But there was a question in your mind whether or not I did.”
Caitlin wished she could deny his accusation, but could not. She felt a tightening in her throat. Seeing Dex hold their daughter made her realize Jordan’s loss the past three years. Caitlin’s biggest regret was that Jordan was growing up without being a part of a loving, close-knit family. Some of Caitlin’s fondest childhood memories were those of her parents and how much they had loved each other, as well as how much they’d loved her.
She also knew that Dex had had a similar childhood, although he hadn’t been an only child. There were six Madaris siblings, three of each. When he’d taken her to his family home, it was obvious the Madaris family was a close one.
Caitlin glanced at Dex. To her surprise, he had drifted to sleep holding Jordan with one hand and her with the other. “It appears I wasn’t the only one tired,” she said softly. Her worries, tears and confusion were momentarily forgotten. Snuggling comfortably against Dex, she closed her eyes.
Dex didn’t know how long he’d slept, but when he awoke his gaze locked with miniature eyes that were a mirror image of his own, staring at him curiously.
He sensed numerous emotions flowing through his daughter’s small body. She looked as though she didn’t know what to make of this strange man holding her in his arms. Her gaze moved from him to Caitlin, whose head rested on his shoulder as she slept.
Dex began to panic when he saw the curiosity and confusion in his daughter’s eyes being replaced with sprouting tears. The last thing he wanted was to make her cry.
He nudged Caitlin and whispered, “She’s awake.”
Dex’s words stirred Caitlin from a sound sleep. A smile touched her lips as she straightened in her seat. “Hi, Jordan.”
“Mommy!” The little girl squealed in delight, eagerly scampering from Dex’s lap into her mother’s outstretched arms. Her chubby arms fastened themselves around Caitlin’s neck.
Caitlin laughed. “Whoa. Not so tight, baby. Don’t choke Mommy.” She was not at all surprised at Jordan’s lack of acceptance of the man she’d never seen before. Except for Caitlin’s father and the fathers of her playmates, Jordan wasn’t used to much male company.
Jordan loosened her hold on her mother slightly. Turning, she looked at Dex from beneath dark lashes. “What’s your name?” she asked him in a voice matching the suspicious glint in her gaze.
Dex held his breath, taking in the beautiful darkness of his daughter’s eyes, so like his own.
Jordan folded her arms over her chest and stuck out her lower lip when she mistook Dex’s silence as a refusal to answer her question. “I’m Jordan,” she lifted her chin and unceremoniously announced.
A smile tugged at the corners of Dex’s mouth. She was definitely a Madaris. The females in his family were notorious for pouting, which could usually be soothed by kind words or actions. “That’s a pretty name.”
Dex’s comment awarded him a softening of his daughter’s features.
Caitlin, who had been watching the exchange, decided to use this time to prove something to Dex. “Jordan?” She spoke softly to her daughter. “Who’s your daddy?”
Jordan turned her head and looked at her mother. The expression on her small face indicated she didn’t know what to make of her mother asking such a ridiculous question. Nevertheless, she answered anyway, in a clear voice. “My daddy is Dexter Jordan Madaris.”
Jordan then turned her full attention back to Dex. “My daddy’s named Jordan, too.”
A heartfelt emotion welled in Dex’s chest and threatened to burst. Caitlin hadn’t lied to him. Even when she had believed he had rejected his daughter, she had told their child about him. His daughter knew his name and seemed awfully proud she shared part of it. He couldn’t help the smile that stole over his lips, or the joy he felt inside.
“What’s your name?” Jordan asked Dex again.
Dex met Caitlin’s gaze over the head of their daughter, and she nodded briefly. The time had come for him to answer her question. “My name is Dexter Jordan Madaris.”
Jordan’s cherub face became confused. She looked at him then shook her head vigorously. “No. That’s my daddy’s name.”
Dex extended both arms out to her. “I’m your daddy, sweetheart.”
“No!” Jordan said, glaring at him defiantly. “My daddy’s in Azalea.”
Dex couldn’t hide the smile touching his lips with his daughter’s mispronounciation of Australia. Understanding the depth of what was taking place between them, he didn’t want to confuse Jordan, but he felt it was important that she knew who he was. And the sooner, the better. “I am your daddy, Jordan.”
Jordan turned to her mother for support. She was not ready to accept this stranger’s claim. “My daddy’s in Azalea, isn’t he, Mommy?”
Caitlin swallowed. She was prepared to say the words she often wondered if she would ever get the chance to say. Not knowing what Dex’s future plans were regarding their marriage, she wanted Jordan to know Dex was her father, but didn’t want to give the impression he would be a permanent fixture in their lives.
“He is your daddy, Jordan. And he’s come to see you.”
A small frown appeared on Jordan’s face. She turned back to Dex and sized him up once more.
Dex held his breath, hoping and praying that his child would accept him as her father. He could tell that her young mind was trying to absorb the words her mother had just told her. He watched as the expression in her eyes changed from confusion to comprehension and then acceptance. A smile spread over her features and she moved from her mother’s lap and into his outstretched arms.
Dex kissed his daughter lightly on the forehead, snuggling her closer to him, to his heart. His voice was choked when he spoke. “Your daddy loves you, Jordan.”
Caitlin shivered at the deep emotions Dex’s words of love to his daughter caused. It took every ounce of restraint she could muster not to let those emotions rip her in two. She was more than a little surprised when Dex suddenly released one of his arms from around Jordan to pull Caitlin closer to him. She accepted his embrace and rested her head on his shoulder.
Jordan lifted her head from her father’s chest. Looking into her mother’s misty eyes, she let out a happy chant. “Daddy’s home, Mommy! My daddy’s home from Azalea!”
Caitlin awoke the next morning as the sound of her daughter’s laughter filtered through her sleepy mind. Shifting her head on the pillow, she remembered how hard it had been for her to go to sleep, knowing Dex was sleeping in the guest bedroom across the hall.
Getting out of bed, she headed for the bathroom. As she began to dress after taking a shower and blow-drying her hair, she remembered Jordan’s excitement that her daddy was home. To celebrate, Caitlin had ordered Jordan’s favorite food, pizza.
It was a little past nine by the time Jordan had gotten bathed and in her pajamas. After her bath she’d grabbed her favorite doll and had gone looking for her daddy. She had found him sitting quietly on the sofa. Dashing across the room to him, as though it was the most natural thing, she crawled into his lap. Dex had wrapped his arms around his daughter and hugged her with fierce tenderness and open affection. The touching scene had nearly brought tears to Caitlin’s eyes.
She had found it difficult to tear her gaze away from them. Somehow she had forced her attention to things she needed to do like preparing the guest room for Dex.
It was only when she had come back into the living room that she noticed a confused expression on Jordan’s face.
“Jordan, what’s the matter?”
Jordan looked up at her mother. “Where’s Grampa?”
Jordan’s question made Caitlin go still as pain tore through her. She had wondered how long it would take for her daughter to notice her grandfather’s absence. The two of them had been very close. From the time she had brought Jordan home from the hospital, they had lived in this house with her father. Moving to Fort Worth six months ago had been hard on all three of them.
“Grampa’s gone away, honey,” she finally whispered to her daughter.
Jordan seemed to ponder Caitlin’s words. “To Azalea Mommy?”
A lump formed in Caitlin’s throat. She had been unable to reply. She was grateful to Dex for coming to her rescue by answering for her. “No, Jordan. Your grampa hasn’t gone to Australia. He’s in heaven.”
Jordan turned wide dark eyes on her father. “He’s up there with the angels?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” Dex replied, smiling tenderly, pulling his daughter closer to him. “He’s up there with the angels.”
A pleased smile spread over Jordan’s face. “They’ll give him some wings.”
It wasn’t long afterward that Jordan began getting sleepy. Together, Caitlin and Dex had taken her upstairs to tuck her in. They had listened as she said her prayers, saying a special prayer for her grampa in heaven, and thanking God for sending her daddy home to her and her mommy.
Listening to Jordan’s prayer had made Caitlin’s throat constrict. It had taken all the strength she could muster not to fall apart right then and there. After letting Dex know the guest room had been prepared for him, she had quickly said good-night and escaped to her own bedroom.
The sound of Jordan’s laughter brought Caitlin’s thoughts back to the present. Sighing, she glanced at her watch. The services for her father were tomorrow, and there were a number of things she needed to do before then.
Following the sound of cheerful loud voices, she wondered if the truce between her and Dex was still in effect. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the kitchen door and walked into the room.
Dex’s gaze met hers when she entered. He was standing near the kitchen table. The collar of his shirt was unbuttoned and the sleeves were rolled up on his forearms. “Good morning, Caitlin.”
At the mention of her mother’s name, Jordan, who had been on her knees in a chair leaning over the kitchen table, squealed with glee when she saw her mother. “Mommy!”
Dex quickly helped his daughter down from the chair when it appeared she would jump. Running over to Caitlin, Jordan leaped into her mother’s outstretched arms. “Mommy! We’re making you breakfast!”
Caitlin smiled at her daughter. “Really? What’re you making?”
Jordan turned to her father. “What’s it called, Daddy?”
Dex’s laughter filled the room. “If we told her, sweetheart, it wouldn’t be a surprise.”
“Oh,” she replied to her father. To her mother she said, “It’s a surprise, Mommy.” Then in the same breath she exclaimed, “I’m going to see the world today.”
Caitlin raised a brow. Her lips formed in a grin. “You’re what?”
There was deep amusement in Dex’s eyes when he glanced at Caitlin. “What she’s trying to say is that she is going to Sea World today. If that’s all right with you, that is. Ms. Logan called and invited Jordan to go with her and her granddaughter.”
“Yes, it’s all right with me.”
“She also told me to tell you that she’ll be happy to keep Jordan for you tomorrow.”
Caitlin nodded. She was grateful for Ms. Logan’s kindness. She put Jordan down. “Have you had breakfast yet?”
Jordan nodded her head. “Daddy said when you got up we would give you your surprise.”
“Oh, he did, did he?” Slowly being pulled in the excitement and conspiratory merriment surrounding father and daughter, Caitlin turned to Dex. “What’s this big surprise for breakfast?” She sniffed the air, bringing forth giggles from her daughter. “I don’t smell bacon or eggs or anything like breakfast.”
“Come see for yourself,” Dex invited. He couldn’t help noticing the style of Caitlin’s hair. It was arranged in a bevy of soft curls that dipped over her face and shoulders. He thought the stylish cut provided her with a totally different image than the one she had worn four years ago. This new style gave her a look of an even higher level of maturity and sophistication. Even dressed in a pair of well-worn jeans and a T-shirt, she looked nothing like the little slip of a woman that he had married.
Caitlin walked over to the table where Dex was putting the finishing touches on a concoction she didn’t recognize. She looked from father to daughter. “I give up.” She raised a brow. “What is it?”
Jordan laughed. “Tell Mommy what it is, Daddy.”
“It’s a Rice Krispies’ ice-cream float with berries, nuts, chocolate syrup and whipped cream,” Dex said, chuckling. “This one is for you. We ate ours already. They were delicious.”
“Would you like some more?”
Caitlin pushed herself away from the table. “I think I’m going to be sick,” she said, rubbing her stomach.
Dex grinned. “No one forced you to eat it, Caitlin.”
She moaned. “How could I not eat it? Jordan was so excited about helping you prepare breakfast, I didn’t have the heart not to eat all of it. It’s a good thing Ms. Logan came when she did, or Jordan would have wanted me to have seconds.” Caitlin smiled. “If I’ve gained weight from eating that thing, it’s all your fault. I feel fat.”