- -
- 100%
- +
Tucker didn’t ask any questions, didn’t hesitate. “On my way,” she replied. That was like her friend. Tucker never expected anything from anyone, but gave unhesitantly to everyone.
Angelina Tucker was Eli’s inspiration for starting the teen parenting program. Sixteen years ago, Tucker had been a senior and Eli had been a teacher in the home-ec department for five years. That’s what they’d called it then. Now, it was family and consumer sciences.
When Tucker had found out she was pregnant, she’d come to Eli for help, and Eli had discovered how very few options and avenues there were for the young girl. She’d fought for Tucker and had become her advocate. The following year she began to put together a program for the entire district.
Tucker had come into her first classes and talked about her experiences as a teen mother. Eli had used her as a peer role model for her girls.
As they worked together, something shifted, and Tucker had become a friend. A good friend. Eventually, a best friend.
Eli was even little Bart’s godmother.
Okay, Bart wasn’t all that little anymore. But Tucker was just the same, hard on the outside, a pushover on the inside.
Tucker would know what to do.
Eli went to the living room and just sat on the couch and waited. When Tucker came, everything would be fine. She clung to that thought.
Tucker didn’t knock, but burst into the house fifteen minutes later. There was no prelude, no opening line. She just asked, “What happened?” Concerned lines were etched on her face and she ran her fingers through her short, curly brown hair, which made it look more wild than it usually did.
“I’m pregnant.”
Eli had never seen anything stop Tucker in her tracks, but this did.
Tucker plopped down next to Eli on the couch and was quiet a moment.
Then, as if some reserve energy source engaged, she turned to Eli and smiled. “Okay. If anyone can deal with this, it’s you. You know all your options. You’ve got your education, a good job, a nice house…good friends.” There was a firm certainty in Tucker’s voice that worked as a balm on some of the raging emotions that roiled through Eli.
“Oh, and you’ve got Arthur,” Tucker added as an afterthought.
“Yeah.” Eli realized that when the news had finally sank in her first thought was to call her friend, not Arthur. She didn’t want to analyze what that meant. There were too many other things she needed to concentrate on. “I’m a few months along. I thought it was menopause.”
Tucker smiled. “Surprise.”
Despite her worries, Eli managed a weak smile of her own. “Yeah.”
“I remember when I found out about Bart, I was sort of stunned. I went and talked to this very wise teacher and she asked, ‘What are you feeling’? She made me dig through all that junk and really pick the emotions apart. So, I’ll ask you, what are you feeling?”
Eli tried to sort through the swirling vortex of feelings that were overwhelming her. She grabbed at one. “Terrified. I mean, I’m forty-four. Once upon a time I wanted kids, but I never met the right man, it was never the right time. Years ago I decided that it wasn’t meant to be. I have hundreds of kids as in my students. That’s enough. I’ve organized my life in a childless sort of way. I can’t have a baby.”
“Well, then…” Tucker let the words hang there.
Eli shook her head, surprised at the fierceness of her reaction to Tucker’s unspoken suggestion. “No. That’s not an option for me. I mean, I just can’t.”
“Fine, then that’s progress. You’ve made a major decision…you’re having this baby. And you’re terrified, you didn’t expect to have a child. What else are you feeling?”
Eli waded through the mishmash of her emotions. “Foolish. I mean, I work with pregnant mothers for a living, and I didn’t realize I was pregnant? That’s sad. But in my defense, we used protection every time, and I’m old. Practically ready for menopause.”
“Terrified. Foolish. Old. What else?” Tuck pressed.
“Apprehensive. I have to tell my parents before they leave for their winter in Florida…and Arthur, of course.”
“I remember how much fun telling my dad was. But lucky for me, I had this great teacher go with me. Lucky for you, you have a friend who’s here if you need backup with your parents.”
Eli noticed that Tucker didn’t offer to come tell Arthur with her. She laughed. “What about when I tell Arthur?”
“I’d just antagonize him by—oh, I don’t know—breathing or something.”
“And he’d reciprocate. It’s fine. I’ll take that one on my own.” The fact that her boyfriend and her best friend didn’t get along made things difficult. Eli had learned to compartmentalize her life. Tucker and the rest of her friends, her school life, on one side, and Arthur on the other.
“What else?” Tucker asked.
Eli pulled her thoughts from Arthur and went back to the question at hand. What else was she feeling? She searched, and finally caught on a weak, almost whisper of a feeling. “Under all of that, there’s a bit of excitement. I mean, I never thought it would happen, that I’d have a baby. Truth of the matter is, I’m going to be a mother. Sure there’s a lot to figure out, and it’s not convenient, but then it was that way with Bart and look at how tight the two of you are.”
She stopped a second and added, “I’ve never asked before, but do you regret it? I mean, I know you love him, but do you ever regret everything you had to go through?”
“There are parts that I wouldn’t want to relive, but he’s such an amazing kid, I can’t imagine what my life would be without him. I don’t regret a minute of it. Having him led me to where I am. I have a kid I adore, a job I love and a friend I might never have found if I hadn’t shown up in her classroom that day asking for help.”
Eli couldn’t think of anything to say to that.
Tucker didn’t seem to mind. After another silent moment passed, she asked, “You want me to call Bart and tell him that he’s on his own for dinner? We’ll order a pizza and pig out. You can do that guilt-free now that you’re eating for two.”
Eli laughed, which she knew had been Tucker’s intent. “No. I’m fine now. Well, not quite fine, but on my way to it. I need some time alone to sort it all out. Though it’s so good to know that you’re just a phone call away. You really helped settle me down.”
“I’m no expert. I mean, I just paint stuff for a living—”
Tucker always underplayed her talent, and Eli felt obliged to interrupt and correct her description of her job. “A graphic artist. What you do is art, Tuck.”
Tucker shrugged and stood. “Doesn’t matter what you call it, I’m a simple woman who has to say something before I leave. It’s something no one but you ever said to me. Congratulations, Eli. This baby will change your life. And though you don’t see it now, it will change your life for the better. I just know it.”
Tucker leaned down and, in an uncharacteristic display of affection, hugged Eli. “No matter what, you just remember that you’re not alone.”
She waved and hurried out.
Eli knew that Tucker was embarrassed at her actions. She wasn’t a hugger, wasn’t prone to inspirational speeches. However, this one hit the mark.
This baby was going to change Eli’s life.
She could only hope Tucker was right and that it was for the better.
Eli spent the rest of the evening wandering from one room of the house to another, thinking. What was Arthur going to say? Would he be excited? And her parents? Were they going to be disappointed in her?
She knew she was well past the age where she needed her parents’ approval, but that didn’t stop her from enjoying it. It didn’t stop the sting of imagining she’d let them down.
She went into the bathroom and cleared away the remnants of her momentary insanity. She was going to have a baby, and no amount of testing was going to change that.
Bathroom cleaned, she stood in the hall not sure what to do or where to go.
Finally, she went to her room, threw the decorative pillows onto the floor, rather than stacking them neatly on the chest, and climbed into bed fully clothed. She burrowed under the covers and willed sleep to come and take her away from all her worries.
When it didn’t, she tugged up on her shirt and exposed her stomach. Gently she ran her hands over it. Not it, her baby.
Her baby was there.
She was going to be a mother.
She just let the enormity of that thought sit there, blocking all her other considerations.
She had six sticks and a doctor’s test to prove that in a very short time she was going to be someone’s mom.
She was going to change diapers and breastfeed. She was going to get up in the middle of the night and deal with teething.
Somewhere down the line she’d have to cope with a first day of school, book reports and science fairs. Even first loves.
She was going to be a mother.
And someday in about eighteen years, this baby would graduate from school and go away to college. Maybe stay away, too, if the right job came along.
Her baby would someday leave her.
A new emotion swamped her. Loneliness. She’d miss this baby she’d only just found out about. Her child would eventually find their own way, build their own life, one that didn’t center around her. She’d be peripheral at best.
She rested her hand on her stomach and promised herself that when that day came she’d let go. Until then, she’d hold on tight and try to enjoy every minute.
Enjoy.
Yes, under the myriad emotions that had assaulted her since she got the news was excitement. Now joined by the promise of enjoyment. She was going to enjoy being a mother.
At least she thought she would.
Oh, there was still panic, terror, but she clung to the more positive emotions.
She was going to be a mother.
CHAPTER TWO
“Discovering you’re pregnant means things will change, but different isn’t always worse…”
—Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parenting for
Teens, by Mary Jeanne Lorei
“MS. CARTWRIGHT, ARE YOU OKAY?” Ariel asked the next day after class.
Eli had thought she was doing an admirable job hiding her sleepless night and inner turmoil, but obviously, she was wrong.
She redoubled her efforts and pasted her best I’m-okay smile on and nodded. “I’m fine, thanks.”
“I promised we’d finish our discussion. I wrote the note and will give it to Mrs. Brown this afternoon.”
“Good. That’s a great start.” At the word start, the girl’s smile faded.
“You said we’d talk about what else I need to do? I’ve been trying to think of what else could fix this, but other than taking an F on that test, I can’t think of anything.”
“Actually, Mrs. Brown and I talked about that. Rather than fail you, we’ve agreed that you’ll retake the test. And then she’ll deduct ten percent from whatever you get as a penalty.”
“Thank you. I assumed I’d get an F and that would drop my GPA.”
Eli smiled. Despite her own mind, she’d given Ariel’s situation some thought. To be honest, thinking about Ariel was so much easier than thinking about herself.
“I have an idea,” she told the girl. “After my meeting this afternoon, I’ll fill you in.”
Ariel looked nervous.
“It’s not bad,” Eli assured her. “As a matter of fact, I think this might work out to be a very, very good thing for you.”
Suddenly Ariel’s expression changed to a look children had worn on Christmas Eve for centuries. “Ms. Cartwright, do you want to give me a hint?”
Eli chuckled. “No. But come see me after school.”
“You’re sure?”
“Go. I don’t want you being late for your next class.”
When Ariel left, Eli went back to crunching figures and making sure her facts were in order. She wished she could find the enthusiasm for this meeting she once had. Today everything felt muted. Dampened. As if she were viewing the world through cotton gauze.
She kept eying the clock.
Finally.
Lunchtime.
She stood and smoothed her skirt, then without realizing it, her hand brushed her stomach, as if to make sure her baby was all right.
Baby.
Her baby.
It still felt so unreal. Part of her would have liked to deny the reality, but those six little sticks wouldn’t allow her to.
She had a standing dinner date with Arthur on Friday nights. So tomorrow, she’d tell him. She could almost imagine stoic, dependable Arthur’s reaction. He would probably be as shocked as she was, but he’d be supportive. He’d understand her mixed emotions over this unplanned, life-altering event.
Together, they’d work it out.
Right now, she needed to put all that aside and get going or she’d be late for this meeting.
She stopped at the main office and checked out with the school secretary. “Doris, I’m not sure when I’ll be back. If anyone needs me, I’ll have my cell. Marion’s covering my one o’clock class.”
“Good luck. I know how important this meeting is to you, to the new program.”
“Thanks. I’m pretty sure he’s on board. Today we’re supposed to finalize everything and decide on our test-student.”
“You’ll do fine. Just give me a holler when you get back in.” Doris had been with the school longer than Eli. Longer than most of the staff. She was an icon. She ran the main office with a fluid efficiency and had an aura of everyone’s favorite grandmother about her.
Her confidence in Eli’s ability to make this work helped bolster her own flagging belief in herself.
She drove across Whedon, wishing that this meeting was in an office. She felt at home in that setting or in a classroom. But a local restaurant had sounded convenient when she’d agreed to it. Instead she now worried the location would detract from the business Zac needed to accomplish.
“Eli,” he called, waving.
Despite the craziness since her doctor’s appointment, seeing him made her smile. There was something engaging about Zac Keller. He was a nice-looking man who was defined by what he wasn’t. He wasn’t tall, wasn’t short—maybe about five-ten. He wasn’t fat, wasn’t skinny, wasn’t a bodybuilder, wasn’t scrawny. He had average brown hair and a medium complexion.
But once someone met Zac, he stood out. Maybe it was the devilish look in his brown eyes—a look that said life was a joy and there was always mischief to be made.
“Hi,” she said as she took the seat across from him.
His smile faded as he studied her a moment. “What’s wrong?”
“Wrong?” she repeated dumbly.
“Wrong. Something’s wrong.”
First Ariel, now Zac.
Eli tried to school her expression and concentrate on the task at hand.
She passed a file to him. “Not wrong, exactly. Although…”
She jerked her head toward the file. He took the hint and opened it. “Ariel Mayor?”
She nodded. “I’d like her to be the first student we enroll in the program.”
“And this troubles you because…?”
“She’s having a hard time of it. To be honest, she’s the type of student the Community Action Teen-Parent Apprentice Project was designed for. She’s a senior who’s always been a straight A student, popular with her peers and teachers. If you’d asked me, asked any of her teachers, we’d have told you that she was one of those kids who are blessed. Yet when her parents found out she was pregnant, at the beginning of the school year, they kicked her out. I got involved and learned that Ariel’s home life was less than blessed. She’s staying at an aunt’s, working at a nearby restaurant, going to school, and other than one small incident, she’s done a good job balancing everything. She’s college material.”
Eli paused, needing to make this absolutely pitch perfect. Working for Zac instead, in the CATA Project, could make such a difference for this girl. “Zac, I think it would be a shame if she didn’t go to college because of the baby. She deserves to have the life she planned.”
“With a baby in the picture, even if she goes to college, it won’t be exactly as she planned,” he pointed out.
“No, not exactly. But what in life ever goes exactly how we plan?” Eli might have said those same words a few days ago. And she’d have believed them. But now, they rang truer.
As if he’d read her mind, Zac asked, “You didn’t plan to be here?”
Here? Pregnant? She almost snorted, but then Zac added, “Helping teen parents?”
Oh. Yes, of course, that’s what he meant. “No. Truth is, I never planned this to be my life’s work. I stumbled into it when a girl in my class became pregnant and asked for my help. When I looked for services in the district, I realized there was nothing.”
“So you helped her yourself?”
She laughed. “Don’t make it sound all noble. I liked her. Still do. Over the years, she’s become my best friend. I’m surrogate aunt to her son.”
“When the school district didn’t help, you stepped up and did it yourself. That’s not a question. I know you, Eli. You couldn’t stand by and not try to do something positive.”
He’d said things like that before and as always it made her uncomfortable. Not in a stalker sort of way, but this man saw her in a way no one else did, not even herself.
“Don’t glamorize it. I was in the right place at the right time and simply did what needed to be done. Anyone could have done it.”
He snorted. “I don’t want to argue with you, but you’re wrong.” As if sensing she was about to dispute it more, he picked the file back up. “So, Ariel’s going to be our guinea pig?”
“If you agree. I noted in the file that she’s never been in trouble, except for the recent incident. And I don’t believe that would have happened if she hadn’t been stretched so thin. That’s where you come in. No more late hours, time for homework…support.”
“Fine.” He tapped the file on the table. “Ariel Mayor is our inaugural student in the CATA Project.” He raised his water glass. “To many years of a successful partnership between us.”
She clinked her glass against his.
“Now, let’s order lunch and get down to the nitty-gritty of how we’re going to make this work.”
Eli had so much to do. So many things to think about. She knew she should excuse herself, instead, she found herself saying, “So, did you find out what the special is today?”
After they ordered, Zac asked, “So what else is new with you?”
If only she could tell him, but she wasn’t about to when her parents and Arthur still didn’t know, so she simply said, “Not much. You?”
“Well, I was in some little Podunk town and I…”
Eli listened to Zac’s story and soon forgot all her worries. Like Tucker had said, they’d be there tomorrow. Or rather tomorrow night when she went to see Arthur.
THE HOUR FLEW BY TOO FAST in Zac Keller’s opinion.
He always enjoyed Eli Cartwright’s company. There was something about her that touched him. Her enthusiasm for her work. The girls she taught were more than a job. He could see it in her expression as she talked about them. And this Ariel Mayor he’d just hired was obviously a favorite.
Eli’d talked of her boyfriend in the past, which was the only reason Zac hadn’t long since asked her out. Even if he couldn’t date her though, he could enjoy her company.
“Why don’t we meet on Saturday morning? I’ll treat you to coffee at Tim Horton’s—the one next to Keller’s Market. Then we can both go over and meet your Ariel?”
“You want me there?”
“Not for future student hires, but for this first one, I thought it might be a good idea if we both followed Ariel’s progress closely. We can see what works, and where there’s room for improvement. I’d like CATA to become one of Keller’s pet projects, so I think it’s best to really concentrate on this first student and make sure everything runs smoothly.”
“I appreciate it, Zac. I don’t know if you understand what this program could offer to our girls.”
“I think I understand, at least as much as I can.”
Eli glanced at her watch. “I better get going.”
“See you Saturday, around nine, then? Tell Ariel to meet us at the market at nine-thirty?”
“Sounds good.”
She stood, and he immediately followed suit. She thrust out her hand and they shook. “Thanks again, Zac.”
“No problem. And Eli, I know we’re just business associates, but if you want to talk about whatever’s wrong, I’m here.” Before she could deny there was anything wrong, or laugh at the idea of her needing his help, he took the bill and headed for the register.
She followed him, and handed him a ten, then, before he could protest, dashed out. “See you Saturday,” she called over her shoulder.
Zac knew he should return to his office at the market, but he felt an uncharacteristic urge not to. So instead, he drove in the opposite direction toward his parents’ house, under the guise of talking to his father about the business.
The house on East Street was a rambling building. The original one-story heart of the house was built in 1898, and generations of owners had added a room here and a room there, leaving a building with unusual lines. His parents had purchased it forty years ago, a month before they married, determined to fill the seven bedrooms with children.
They’d waited.
And waited.
After waiting ten years, with only their master bedroom in use, they’d decided on adoption.
Zac was their first child.
He was only five but he could still remember his social worker, Mrs. Bowler, pulling up in front of the house, with its flower beds and porch swing. He’d been sure that there was a mistake, that the man and woman waiting on the steps had wanted one of the other boys in the group home. But then the woman had knelt down, held her arms wide and said, “Welcome home, Zac.” A feeling of disbelief and hope had filled him.
It was the same feeling he got whenever he pulled in to the driveway.
He hurried into the house. “Mom? Dad?”
He was already almost in the kitchen when his mother called, “In here, Zac.”
Deborah Keller was a petite, well-rounded woman, with salt-and-pepper hair she’d pulled loosely into some kind of bun thing, and a smile that lit up the room. She swept Zac into a hug.
He sniffed the sweet scented air. “Cookies? Cake?”
“Gingerbread, tateleh.” She glanced at the clock. “If you wait about ten minutes, you should be able to sample a piece and let me know if the new recipe is as good as the old one.”
“You could probably twist my arm into staying.” He pulled a stool up to the counter. “Cessy home yet?”
“Not for a while. If you have time to wait, I know she’d be thrilled to see you. The house is just too quiet since Layla went to college.” His mom grinned at him. “Of course, if our older children started marrying and gave me grandchildren…” She let the sentence hang there, since he’d heard the entire spiel more than once.
“Just so happens I had lunch with a lovely woman.”
“You did?”
His mom seemed so happy, he felt guilty about misleading her, and added, “Of course, she’s got a boyfriend.”
“A serious boyfriend, or just some man she’s seeing?”
He laughed. “I was only kidding, Mom. It’s serious between them, I guess. They’ve been together now for five years.” He’d collected a lot of Eli Cartwright trivia since he met her a few months back.
“Five years, and they’re still dating?” She shook her head. “That’s not serious, that’s going with the status quo. Why, your father saw me at the fair—”
“And knew I’d met the woman I was going to marry right then and there,” Abe Keller finished the sentence as he walked into the kitchen. He was a big man. He had a Grizzly Adams look about him. A bit wild. His hair was always unkempt and he went days on end without shaving now that he’d retired from Keller’s and left the business to Zac.
Zac watched his father walk over and simply place his hand on his mother’s shoulder—he’d noticed years ago that whenever they saw each other it was as if they needed to touch, to reconnect.