Calculated Vendetta

Kristin’s lips tightened into a thin line. Clearly, she didn’t want to change the subject.

Getting engaged had softened her hard edges so much that she now thought the rest of the world should pair up, too. Even though it had been months since Travis quit their relationship, Kristin still held out hope her best friend and Lucas’s best friend would somehow form their own happy little family. She sighed. “Wedding planning is good. We’re going for simple. Small. You don’t come around enough anymore.”

So they were back to that. Well, she didn’t like being the third wheel. “Busy. And you ought not to be here. You should be out with Lucas, cuddling in a coffee shop or running a marathon or something.”

“I don’t cuddle in public, and we ran this morning.” Kristin laughed, the sound a bright light in the apartment that suddenly seemed dim. “Besides, it’s past midnight. Lucas better be at his house sound asleep.”

“And you should be at your house sound asleep, too.”

“I’ve got better things to do.” Reaching across the small gap between them, Kristin aimed a finger at Casey. “Like it or not, it’s a good thing Travis was with you. If the guy had a gun, he was serious.”

A shudder quivered Casey’s insides as she pictured the tense posture of the man who’d aimed that pistol. How much different would her night be right now if Travis hadn’t insisted on being a gentleman? She could have lost more than her laptop.

“I knew it would hit you.” Sliding closer, Kristin leaned her shoulder against Casey’s. Kristin had never been a touchy-feely person, but she knew how to help carry a load, especially since she’d found Lucas and Jesus. The change had taken some getting used to, but her friend was definitely happier now than she had been in previous years.

“I can’t stop the video.” Casey’s voice quavered, but she didn’t care. Let Kristin hear it. She was safe here. “I fought Travis on walking me to my car. If he’d listened to me and backed off...”

“But he didn’t. You’re right here, safe in your own apartment.”

Leave it to Kristin to hit her with a truth she couldn’t deny. Casey shoved aside the what-ifs. It was better to focus on the actuallys, which were a little bit easier to handle. “He took my laptop.”

“You mean your right arm?” Thankfully, Kristin followed her down the rabbit trail away from nightmares. “You had a backup, I hope.”

“I have my old machine to use until I can buy another, and everything is backed up on an external disk and in the cloud, but it’s still a pain. It’ll take a whole day to sort everything out and put it all together again.”

“Well, before you do that, you ought to spend some time out on your great-grandfather’s farm with your bow.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” It would feel good to pull back the string and let fly at a few targets. Really good. Load the fear and the stress into the tension of the string then release it forever.

It was a nice dream, but there was too much work to do. “Can’t. I’m wrapping up an interview with John Winslow tomorrow, and I have one with another guy the day after tomorrow.” No need to discuss John’s behavior tonight. She hadn’t even told Kristin there was a dinner. Confessing would bring too many questions Casey didn’t know how to answer.

She’d met John a year earlier, when she was writing an article about substance abuse among army veterans. He’d introduced her to a few other sources, and one of them had suggested the article she was working on now. When she’d contacted him again about discussing a mission he’d been on a few years ago, he’d been interested in everything she had to say, asking questions and talking for hours when they met for their first interview two days ago. He’d been the one to ask her to meet him for dinner instead of at her office, so the water was a little muddy when it came to what to call tonight. Especially since he kept disappearing with his phone, more distracted every time he returned to the table until she’d cut him loose.

“At least you won’t have to restart your story.”

“Thankfully.” Casey had already conducted interviews with two soldiers and had several more in-person and telephone interviews lined up... All except the one she’d rather not schedule at all. If she’d lost all her work, had lost her contacts or her calendar... She let her eyes drift shut, focusing on the averted technology disaster over the averted physical one. “The laptop’s locked, so everything’s safe, but still, the idea somebody has my stuff...”

“It’s violating. I know. I felt the same way when someone broke into my car and stole my keys last year. Even after I changed the locks, it still felt like somebody was creeping around in the dark corners of my house.”

“Well, they were.”

“Yeah, but—”

On the coffee table, Casey’s phone vibrated on the glass. Kristin reached for it and glanced at the screen, then turned it toward Casey. “Travis is calling you.”

“Let it ring.” Right now, she was too vulnerable, too willing to let her fear and overwrought emotions fool her into thinking he was the one who got away, that everything would be so much better if she had him beside her right now, holding her close while she leaned on his strong shoulder the way he’d let her at the crime scene.

Kristin dropped the phone onto the coffee table with a clatter. “If you don’t answer, he’s coming over here. You know how he is. He was worried enough when he called Lucas.”

“Text him and tell him you’re here and all is well.”

“Casey...”

“Just do it. I can’t talk to him right now.”

Kristin fired off a text, clearly irritated, then shoved the device onto the table beside Casey’s. “He’s a good guy. No matter what’s happened between you in the past, you owe him a thank-you for being there tonight.”

Casey begged to differ about him being a good guy, but yeah, she did owe him a thank-you for being a hero if nothing else. But when it came to forgiving him? It would take a whole lot more than him playing superhero.

* * *

Travis dropped his cell phone to the desk and stared out the window at the small strip of trees standing guard behind his apartment building. He missed the beach, the deep darkness over water where the only light came from the moon and stars. Living in a landlocked town might allow him to be close to post, but it didn’t give him a whole lot of opportunities to indulge his appreciation for nature.

He should have joined the navy, then he’d have had all the water he ever wanted. Whole oceans of it.

But he wouldn’t have been in place to help Lucas when he stared down danger in February. And he wouldn’t have been in place tonight to save Casey Jordan from a man who may have wanted money or something more. He still wasn’t sure which. All he could see when he closed his eyes was the gun, pointed unwaveringly at both of them.

He’d seen the aftermath of violence before. Had watched a good soldier and a better friend take the hit right in front of him, an image that overlaid tonight’s near-tragedy in rivers of blood. Sergeant Neil Aiken had been one of the best, and he’d died right in front of Travis, leaving a wife and two little ones behind to face the world without him.

And he’d still be here today if it hadn’t been for Travis’s foolish mistake.

Travis’s arms still bore scars from the shrapnel, but he’d survived. Had he been at the head of his team like he should have been, he’d have been the one to plant a boot in the wrong place.

Pulse pounding, Travis jerked the cord on the blinds and shut out the world. In a couple of weeks, he’d pack his bags and go to selection, then on to training for the Special Missions Unit that would take him far away from here.

And far away from Casey Jordan. For a few months with her, he’d let himself believe he could hold her close without getting attached. Then one day, the danger of such a belief hit him from the left. He’d been at her apartment, sitting on the couch with her snuggled beside him, watching some silly rom-com, his fingers toying with the ends of her hair... In the perfect peace of the moment, he’d known a depth of emotion he’d never felt before. It quaked something inside him, and when he’d kissed her goodbye he’d felt a kind of desperate, indefinable something that made him want to cling to her forever.

That night, his nightmares had amped their intensity, walking him again and again through the horrible day he’d been injured and Neil Aiken had died. He’d paced the floor in a desperate blend of guilt and fear that had made him want to claw at his own skin. He couldn’t love a woman like Casey. Couldn’t let her take over his life. He had too much to pay for sending one of his men ahead of him to die.

The next morning he’d texted Casey to tell her they were finished, full of lame excuses, aware such disrespect was the coward’s way out but knowing he could never go through with it if he heard her voice.

Now she’d reappeared in time to bring a deluge of memories with her.

In time to remind him of everything he’d lost when he walked away from her. If anything, she was more beautiful than he remembered. Casey’s gray eyes still had the ability to stop him where he stood, those same eyes that had made other men look twice when they saw her, something she never seemed to notice. Her blond hair had grown longer, though it still didn’t quite touch her shoulders. Shoulders that came to his chest, a fit he’d never known before or since.

But the fit had been all wrong.

Adrenaline and memories wouldn’t let him sleep anytime soon—if at all—so Travis poured a tall glass of soda and only wished for a second he had something stronger to mix in. He’d been down that road after Neil Aiken died, hard and heavy. Drinking hadn’t solved anything, hadn’t brought anybody back from the dead. It had made the memories worse and his thoughts exponentially more morbid.

So instead of wallowing in the past, he’d tried to call Casey. After seeing death charge her this evening, all he wanted was to hear her voice one more time, to reassure himself he’d succeeded in saving her. If he knew she was okay, he could put all of this to rest again and go on with his life without her.

But she wasn’t answering her phone, having Kristin text him instead of doing it herself. It shouldn’t cut, but it did.

She was probably upset with him for going behind her back to call Kristin, but that was fine. It wasn’t like things between them could get worse. She hadn’t spoken to him in months anyway. Not that she should. He’d been the one to walk away. He’d had to, and he couldn’t give her an explanation without making everything harder than it already was.

Travis took a long draw from his Pepsi and eyed the TV. Noise. Distraction. Anything would be better than the racket inside his own head.

His phone screamed from the desk, and he set the drink beside it, answering the call right before it went to voice mail. Casey. Desperate to know she was really still there, he didn’t even bother with a hello. “You doing okay?”

The question stopped whatever she’d planned to say. She stuttered, then fell silent before she spoke. “Yeah, I am now. I wanted to thank you for stepping in.” Her voice was uncharacteristically subdued. “You could have been shot.”

“So could you.” The thought brought those same fears he’d felt the night he’d left her. His leg muscles tensed, and he fought to relax. She really was safe. Things had worked out...this time. “Just the simple actions of your everyday superhero, ma’am.”

She chuckled low. “I see you haven’t changed a bit.”

“I’m proud of that, if it’s a good thing. I promise to change immediately if it’s not.”

“You’re making my point for me.”

He’d keep making it, too, if she’d keep laughing, would keep chasing away the dark. In the past, she’d brought out the better man who lived inside him. Seemed like she still had the same ability. “Sorry I couldn’t save your laptop.”

“No worries. I get to spend tomorrow afternoon resetting my old one after I interview a guy for the article I’m working on.”

“You’re sure your laptop has a password?”

“Of course. It’s mine. I logged into it every day.”

“Good.” He winced. This was all the opposite of how it used to be. When he’d met Casey, they’d clicked immediately, from the moment she’d walked through Lucas’s front door and joined him on a pizza run. This? This was nowhere near the easy way they’d once fallen into. The discordance was his fault, and it stung in ways that made his palms sweat. “What’s your article about?”

“Nothing very interesting.” The way her voice dropped said differently.

“I doubt it. Tell me.” Not that he needed to know, but he wasn’t ready to stop talking and face his empty apartment again. He dropped into his desk chair and propped his feet on the windowsill.

She sighed in what sounded like defeat. “A Joint Task Force North mission on the Mexican border five years ago.”

Travis gripped the phone tighter. The shot was too close to the target for comfort. If she was talking with John Winslow, one of his former soldiers, it meant this was all about his mission. His team. “The one we ran with Border Patrol, when we rounded up enough henchmen to put an upstart cartel out of business?” He struggled to keep his voice level. She knew he’d been a team leader on the mission and she hadn’t even called to ask him for an interview.

No. Instead she’d called John Winslow. Awesome.

But that also meant she was with John tonight not because they were together, but because of her job. Her admission brought a warmth to his chilled bones. Only because she was safe from a self-proclaimed skirt chaser. Really, that was the only reason. Winslow was arrogant. Cocky. He collected women and tossed them aside as soon as he got tired of them, and it was usually faster than most people could imagine.

Travis winced. Kind of like he’d done a long, long time ago. “So tonight was an interview?”

“Tonight was dinner.”

“Oh.” His mood deflated. A date. She’d had a date. With Winslow.

Not only had she been out with a guy unworthy of her, it was one of his former soldiers to boot. The more he thought about it, the faster his fingers drummed the desk. “You could have interviewed me. I led the team.”

“I know.”

But she hadn’t called him. No explanation. No reason. Just I know. Maybe he deserved it.

Maybe it still burned anyway.

“I’m meeting him tomorrow afternoon at his house to go over—”

“I’ll go with you.” He’d take off work if he had to. No way was she going to meet Winslow at his house alone. The guy was smooth, and Casey was trusting. He’d have her head spun around so fast...

“Absolutely not.” Her words were as forceful as Travis had ever heard them.

Like a typical soldier, she’d never liked being bossed around in her personal life. He had to play this differently. “I haven’t seen Winslow in a couple of years, not since right before I last deployed. Didn’t even get a chance to speak to him tonight before he left. Would be a pretty interesting reunion.” To say the least.

Casey was quiet again, but this time, it was the kind of quiet that said she was considering his proposal.

“Think about it. You could interview me, too, and if John and I get talking, it might jog even more memories. You and I wouldn’t have to be alone. There would be somebody else there. I was the team leader. I can give you insight.”

He knew playing the reunion card would tug at her, and the prospect of a more fruitful interview would seal the deal. It tweaked his conscience a little, pretending he and John were better buddies than they had been, but she’d be a whole lot safer with backup beside her.

“You know what? Fine. I’m meeting him at one. I’ll text you the address and meet you there.”

“Nah, I’ll come by your place half an hour before. I’ll talk to you later.” He cut the call before she could protest, knowing her mother’s manners were instilled in her deeply enough to keep her from leaving before he got there.

Travis dropped the phone on his desk and spun it in a quick circle. Keeping his distance would be hard, but he couldn’t leave her alone now. He had to protect Casey when she went to interview John, keeping her safe from another guy who would break her heart.

THREE

Casey tapped the download button and settled in to watch the app she used for notes load onto her new laptop. The whole morning had been consumed with stopping at the Post Exchange on her way in to buy a new computer and backpack, then downloading and resetting everything to her liking. Around her, the office was fairly silent, typical of a Friday. Most of the staff were busy at their desks or out working on various assignments. Casey and a couple of others sat in their cubicles, typing stories or conducting phone interviews.

She dragged her hands down her cheeks and rubbed eyes burning from lack of sleep, then reached for the mug on the warmer on her desk. The amount of caffeine she’d consumed today probably bordered on the danger zone, but it sure wasn’t helping to keep her awake. All it had done was serve to make her already-bouncing nerves more jumpy.

She’d hardly slept, certain every stray sound in the apartment was the man with his gun coming to finish the job. There was zero evidence the attack was personal, but somewhere in the darkest part of the night, her brain had grown convinced a shadow had followed her home and was waiting for her to fall asleep before he crept into her private space to finish the job.

If it hadn’t been for Kristin bunking in the spare room, Casey probably would have wandered circles through the apartment all night, obsessively checking under the beds and behind the shower curtains. Instead, she’d stared at the ceiling—perfectly visible with the light on—and prayed over and over for God to hide her from anybody who wanted to kill her.

“You look like you haven’t hit the rack in about six weeks.”

Casey jumped at the voice, then dropped her hands flat on the desk and leaned back in the chair to look at the face peeking over her cubicle wall.

Staff Sergeant Joel Brenner was the new guy, arriving a couple of months earlier from Fort Sam Houston. Right at six feet tall with dark hair and blue eyes too impossible to be real, he’d caught the attention of every single lady in the office.

Except Casey. Try as she might, she couldn’t work up anything other than a feeling of friendship for the man who went out of his way to pay attention to her. He was as nice as he was gorgeous, but nothing made her want to give him a chance. Something inside her must be defective.

Brenner rested his crossed arms on the low wall, his usually laughing eyes grim. “Seriously. What is going on with you, Jordan? You aren’t yourself today.”

“Didn’t sleep well last night.” She hadn’t told anybody at work what had happened, other than her laptop had been stolen. Even the thought of the uproar if the whole place learned someone had held a gun on one of their own was too much to bear. “You know how it is.”

“Getting absorbed by your story?”

“You could say that.” In a roundabout, parallel universe kind of way, sure.

“You do realize it’s lunchtime?” Brenner slid his hands out to the sides and gripped the top of the cubicle, then leaned back as far as he dared without toppling the wall, surveying the room. “Almost everybody’s packed and lit out of here for chow already.” He pulled himself in and studied the top of her desk. “Want to go to the Starbucks over by the commissary and grab some real coffee?”

Casey fought to keep from wrinkling her nose. She’d turned him down a hundred times, and a hundred times he’d asked again. Always friendly. Always hopeful. Kind of like a puppy begging for attention...if the puppy was drop-dead gorgeous.

Which might be one of the reasons she couldn’t quite get herself to accept a date. A guy who looked like him should never be interested in her. It made no sense. She’d taken the risk with Travis, and look where that had gotten her.

At least today, she had an excuse. “Got an interview scheduled this afternoon, and I have to jet out of here in about three minutes.” She glanced at the clock. It was almost noon. Zero hour, when she’d have to decide if she was going to go home to meet Travis or ignore him altogether and go to John’s by herself.

Both thoughts left a sour wave in her stomach. There was no good reason for her to want Travis to tag along, but she did nonetheless. Emotional memory must be the same as muscle memory. It was a part of her until she somehow managed to train it out.

“Tomorrow?” Brenner let the question hang and quirked a half grin.

Well, nobody could say he wasn’t persistent. “I’m booked. Different guy, same interview.”

The grin came on in full force, and it really was a sight to behold. He aimed a finger at her with a wink. “One of these days you’ll say yes.”

Casey grinned at the good-natured humor in his tone. She wanted to think it was true, that one of these days she’d be able to believe he was interested in her, that she’d be totally herself again and could see another man without coloring him through the lens of Travis Heath. It had been three months, and her world still held the sheen of him, whether she wanted it to or not.

Doubly so with his reappearance.

Forcing a smile, Casey shook her head and reached for the cell phone buzzing on her desk. “Someday could be a mighty long time. I’m thinking you ought to hone in on another target. There are plenty of women around here waiting for you to ask them for coffee, you know.”

He shrugged and glanced around the largely empty room, then looked at her, lowering his voice. “I know. But they aren’t you.” Backing away, he waved and walked away to his cubicle.

Casey watched him go, running her thumb along the smooth case of her cell phone. Why couldn’t she tell the guy yes? Even once?

With a sigh Brenner could probably hear from across the room, she flipped her phone over and glanced at the text message hovering on the screen.

I know you’re thinking about flaking on me. See you in half an hour.

Travis. Right there was the reason she couldn’t tell a guy like Staff Sergeant Brennan yes. Because Travis had wrecked her faith in men.

And he could still read her mind from miles away.

Shoving her phone into the leg pocket of her uniform, she closed her laptop and prepared to do battle not only with Travis, but with her own memories.

* * *

Casey twisted her silver ring around her finger and stared out the side window of Travis’s pickup, watching the pine trees pass as they drove out of town. The scene was both familiar and strange. She’d been certain she’d never occupy this seat again, yet here she was. Where she shouldn’t be. With a guy who was sure to crush her again if given the chance.

This ride-along was nothing like drives together had been in the past, when she’d thought she’d laid claim to some part of his heart. Instead of laughter-fueled conversations, the vehicle seemed to expand with the heavy silence of two familiar strangers loosely bound by memory and what-might-have-been.

Stupid. She should have left from work or bolted from the apartment before he arrived and headed to John’s by herself. Should have called him and told him to let it go, she could write her article without his input.

But the truth was, she needed company, even if it meant more time with Travis Heath. After last night, the idea of going anywhere alone brought cold sweat.

In a way, having Travis along for the ride to John’s interview was a comfort.

And in a way, it was infinitely more dangerous than any mugger with a gun aimed at her head.

“You’re quieter than usual.” Travis’s voice bounced in time with the ruts in the dirt driveway that wound through the trees to John’s house. “I’m really not used to you not talking.”

Well, he should get used to it. Other than thank you for driving me—which she’d already said—there was nothing left to talk about. Getting into the whole conversation about why he’d walked away while using the army as a cop-out was too depressing. “I’m more tired than usual.”