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“I came close to taking out a tourist myself the other day,” he admitted. “And as it happens, I own Chandler’s Brew Pub on the main street. Parking is grossly inadequate. That’s part of why receipts lag behind my locations in Sisters and Bend.”
He saw no surprise on her face, which meant she’d done her research on him in advance. He had expected no less.
“You must have questions.”
She did. Some he’d anticipated, some not. All of them gave him a good idea of how smart she was.
When she seemed satisfied, he considered her for a minute. She withstood his scrutiny with no more than a slightly raised chin. He was amused to see that her chin was on the square side. When she jutted it out, the effect was pugnacious.
“Would you take the position if I offer it?” he asked abruptly.
Even that didn’t shake her composure. “Assuming compensation is adequate, I believe I would.”
“When would you be able to start?”
A ghost of some emotion showed in her eyes. He wished he had some idea what she was thinking. Not knowing worried him.
“Immediately,” she said after a moment. “I plan to stay with Colin for a few days, at least. I can continue work on my dissertation without being in Seattle. I’ll need to make a few trips back, of course, but...I find myself at loose ends right now. This job would suit me very well.”
Right now? “I’m looking for someone who will be making a long-term commitment, not taking the job as a brief fill-in.”
“I didn’t mean to suggest I was thinking short-term.”
Noah nodded. “I’ll need to follow up on your references. I can promise to get back to you within a matter of days.”
She rose gracefully to her feet. “Thank you for your time. You have my phone number.”
He stood, too, aware that he physically intimidated many people but also sure that, for some reason, she wasn’t among them. “I do,” he agreed.
They shook hands again. Hers was a little warmer this time. He squeezed gently and let her go sooner than he would have liked. He walked her to the outer office and watched as she strode away toward the elevator or stairs, the swing of her hips subtle but sexy as hell.
Not until he turned did he realize that his PA had been watching him. He saw curiosity in her eyes.
“How did the interview go?” she asked, just as she had after all the previous ones.
He grunted. “Good. If her references pan out, I think she’s the one.”
She cleared her throat. “You do know—”
“That her brother is Captain McAllister? I know.” He frowned. “How do you know?”
Ruth smiled. “We chatted.”
“Did you chat about anything else I ought to know?”
She tilted her head while she thought. “No, I don’t think so,” she said after a moment. “She seems like a lovely young woman.”
Lovely was definitely one word for Cait McAllister, Noah reflected as he returned to his office. Sexy was another. The fact that he was thinking that way about her had the potential to be a huge problem. Did he really want to hire a woman likely to distract him the way she had today?
Muttering under his breath, he went to the window and stared out. Not, he told himself, because he might be able to see her walk out to her car—although there she was, and he couldn’t have taken his eyes off her if the most aggravating of city councilmen was tapping on his shoulder. Looking toward the cinder cone usually clarified his thinking.
Somehow that didn’t happen with him focused on Cait McAllister’s long-legged stride, the sway of her hips, the gleam of spring sunlight on her hair.
Not until she got into a little blue car that, a moment later, joined the traffic on the road and passed out of his limited line of sight could he look away.
“Damn,” he said aloud, but quietly.
There were other words he could use as descriptors for the woman who had just left his office. Brilliant, he suspected, was one. Definitely highly qualified.
Which made him blessed that, for whatever reason, she wanted a job in Angel Butte, Oregon.
What he’d really like to know was why she was willing to take it. His gut said she was desperate for a change. He wondered if her brother would know what she was trying to leave behind.
Maybe the bigger question was whether he could quit noticing how lovely and, yes, goddamn it, sexy she was and see her as a professional.
If not...
Noah sank heavily into his desk chair and gazed, unseeing, at one of the paintings that hung on his office wall.
Who was he kidding? Of course he was going to hire her. And, no, he wasn’t going to be able to turn off his libido. He’d have to aim for reining in his response. If he was really lucky, her personality would begin to grate on him and he’d quit caring what she looked like.
* * *
“I KNOW COLIN is estranged from your mother.” Nell poured balsamic dressing from the little plastic cup over her salad. “He seems to think you’re still close to her?”
Cait and her new sister-in-law had spent the morning browsing shops and were now eating at a café owned by a friend of Nell’s, who had come out when they arrived to say hi and inspect Cait with obvious curiosity.
So far, Cait really liked Colin’s wife. If Nell was being nosy...well, who could blame her? She was, after all, married to a man with major family issues. Who knew better than Cait, who had issues, too, if different ones from her brother’s.
What’s more, Nell wasn’t a casual acquaintance. Strange as the realization was, they were family.
“Not so much,” Cait admitted, answering the question about her relationship with her mother. “Once I hit my teenage years and rebelled, things went downhill. We’ve never quite recovered.”
Nell nodded. “Does she know you’re here in Angel Butte?”
Cait winced. “No. If I get the job, I’ll have to tell her eventually.”
Nell didn’t say anything. Tiny lines on her forehead suggested she hadn’t raised the subject only in a casual, get-acquainted way. Good lord, Cait thought; Mom is her mother-in-law. Cait knew Colin hadn’t invited their mother to his wedding.
“I suppose Colin’s told you that...our father was abusive,” she said carefully.
“Yes.”
“He and Colin fought a lot.”
“He told me that, too.” Nell still hadn’t reached for her fork. “He thought he’d probably scared you and your mom both toward the end. He was trying to draw your father’s anger away from the two of you, but he admits he was filled with a lot of rage, too.”
“That last couple of years were really horrible. I remember getting off the school bus and dragging my feet because I dreaded going home.” Cait tried to smile. “Anyway, if Mom was ever happy here in Angel Butte, she’s long since forgotten. I think she feels guilty about Colin, too.”
“She should,” Nell said sharply, after which she made an apologetic moue. “That was tactless, wasn’t it? I won’t take it back, though. I don’t mean to offend you, but the truth is, she abandoned him. Having his own mother leave him behind with the father he hated... He has scars.”
“He seems so...together,” Cait said hesitantly. “Except...I guess I could always tell that he wanted more from me than I knew how to give.” Her laugh was sad. “Family life at its finest.”
Nell’s laugh held a similar note. “My family is no better—I assure you. One of these days, I’ll tell you more about our soap opera.”
“I’d actually like that.” Cait smiled. “Misery loves company.”
“Absolutely.”
They both chuckled and, as they began to eat, turned the subject in other directions. They were talking about a women’s self-defense class Nell had taken over the winter when Cait’s phone rang. Of course it had sunk to the bottom of her too-roomy bag, but she snagged it by the fourth ring. The number was local, and not Colin’s, unless he was using a landline at the police station.
“I’d better take this,” she murmured to Nell, and answered.
“Ms. McAllister.” The gravelly voice was unmistakable. “Noah Chandler.”
Her heart raced. Truth time. “Mayor.”
“Why don’t we progress to Noah and Caitlyn? I’m calling to offer you the position.”
The relief was out of proportion, especially considering her mixed feelings about her return to Angel Butte. A journey back in time, she thought flippantly. “I go by Cait,” she said, sounding completely collected and mildly pleased. She impressed herself sometimes.
“Cait it is. Do you have a minute to talk?”
She grimaced apologetically at Nell, who waved her understanding and eavesdropped with interest.
A minute was all the conversation took. Mayor Chandler did not believe in beating around the bush. He laid out compensation, medical and dental benefits, retirement and vacation package with a take-it-or-leave-it curtness. She told him, equally briefly, that his offer was acceptable. He asked when she could start. Cait took a deep breath. “How about tomorrow morning?”
The momentary silence suggested she’d surprised him. But when he said, “Good. Let’s meet in my office at nine,” his voice didn’t confirm that impression.
Cait felt more than a little dazed as she dropped her phone back in her handbag. “Wow. The job’s mine.”
Working with him.
She didn’t let herself linger on that vague sense of apprehension. Only that wasn’t quite right.
She didn’t have time to, anyway, since Nell jumped to her feet and hurried around the table to give her a quick hug. “I’m glad. Having you close will really make Colin happy, and I think you and I are going to be friends.”
“I think so, too,” Cait agreed. From their first meeting, she’d had the feeling she and Nell already were friends. Maybe that was because her face was so disconcertingly familiar—Nell/Maddie hadn’t changed as much as most people did from when she was a child. With that pointy chin, sharp cheekbones and disarmingly high forehead, she looked thoroughly adult and yet still like the little girl Cait remembered, scattering of freckles, big brown eyes and all. She had claimed to vaguely remember Cait, too, but sounded more uncertain. Cait knew her own face was nowhere near as distinctive.
It wasn’t only familiarity that made Cait feel comfortable with this new sister-in-law, though. Nell had an air of reserve that reminded Cait of her own. Even after several months together, Nell seemed surprised by Colin’s smiles, touches and the intimate way they sometimes looked at each other. Or maybe, Cait reflected, Nell was surprised by her own response to him. Cait knew enough from what she’d read about Nell’s ordeal to be sure she understood self-doubt—and why trust could be hard.
Cait insisted on paying for lunch, which Nell finally accepted. They were walking out when Nell asked if she’d mind stopping to grocery shop on the way home.
“Of course not—” Head turned, she walked smack into someone. A man who asked if she was all right at the same moment she exclaimed, “I’m so sorry!”
And then she really looked at him. Shock seemed to squeeze her throat. “You,” she whispered.
Echoing shock showed on his fleshy but still handsome face. He was middle-aged, the auburn of his short hair muted from what she remembered by a substantial sprinkling of gray. He’d softened some around the middle, too, but...she did know him. Oh, why hadn’t it occurred to her that he might still live here?
“Cait,” he said, sounding rueful. “I’m surprised you recognized me. What were you? Nine, ten, when you moved away?”
“Ten.” Her voice was a little too high. “Jerry, that’s right, isn’t it?”
“Jerry Hegland.” His gaze flicked to Nell, who was watching the odd encounter. “Aren’t you—?”
“Nell McAllister.”
He looked momentarily confused.
“My sister-in-law,” Cait contributed.
“That’s right.” He was apparently putting the pieces together and realizing Cait’s companion was Maddie Dubeau. “I heard you’d married the police officer who found you. Ah, I knew Cait and Colin’s mother,” he explained. His gaze traveled back to her. “We were getting to be good friends, weren’t we, Cait?”
She managed a nod, her usual social skills having totally deserted her. This man had been her mother’s lover. Of course, she hadn’t known the truth until years later. Back then, she’d thought he was a nice man who Mommy and she happened to run into really often. He’d bought them lunch several times.
“I’ll bet you remember me best for the handprints I left in your concrete slab,” she blurted.
He stared at her. “What?”
“You didn’t know it was me?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Suddenly he was as brusque as Mayor Noah Chandler at his most impatient. He looked over her shoulder. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m meeting someone.”
“Of course.” She wouldn’t lie and say, Great to see you. It wasn’t, even if she wasn’t being fair. After all, Mom was the one who’d been married.
Unless he had been, too?
She didn’t care.
I am angry at her. Had been, still was. She had been only sixteen—and an already confused sixteen, at that—when she’d found out her mother had had an affair.
An affair? Who knew? Maybe she’d been screwing around on Dad for years. Cait wanted to think the betrayal explained his rage.
She didn’t look back as Nell pushed open the door and the two of them exited.
* * *
DINNER STARTED WITH them all clinking wineglasses in a toast to her new job. Cait was still feeling the glow, if also a whole lot of trepidation, when Nell glanced at her.
“So, who was that guy we ran into at the restaurant?” She transferred her gaze from Cait to her husband. “Please pass the butter.”
He did so automatically, but he was looking at Cait. “I didn’t think you’d remember anyone from that long ago.”
Here was where she could say, He wasn’t anyone important. But Colin likely knew him, she realized. Her brother had been enough older than her to be aware of relationships and undercurrents to which she’d been oblivious. In fact, she’d nursed some anger at him, too, for leaving her in ignorance even though, all grown-up now, she could see why he hadn’t said anything to his little sister.
“Jerry Hegland.”
He frowned. “Who?”
She set her fork down. “You don’t know him?”
“The name is vaguely familiar.” He seemed to be searching his memory. “Wait. Something to do with the airport?”
“I don’t actually know.” But, yes, once Mom and she had gone out there to watch planes take off and land. Angel Butte Regional Airport wasn’t all that exciting, of course; at least in those days, aside from privately owned small planes, traffic had consisted of no more than a couple of flights a day to Portland and Seattle using turboprop commuter planes that carried something like fifteen or twenty passengers. Still, she remembered standing beside the runway as one of those planes tore by, gaining momentum and then lifting into the air. She had been amazed. Her family had never flown anywhere.
That had been one of the occasions when the nice man bought lunch for her and Mom, at the café in the airport terminal.
“Then how do you know him?” Colin asked.
“Mom.” She sounded like a crow. Harsh. “He and Mom...”
Her brother’s expression gradually changed with dawning horror. “He and Mom what?” he asked in a hard voice.
Cait was distantly aware that Nell’s mouth hung open. She’d had no idea what she was starting.
“They had an affair. Didn’t you know?” she begged.
“Hell, no!” He gave his head a shake. “I can’t believe— How did you know?”
“I always assumed... Wow.”
“Cait.”
“Don’t snap at me!”
Now they were glaring at each other.
Well, what difference did it make? she reasoned. Colin and Mom never talked anyway.
“I had no idea back then. I thought he was a friend of Mom’s. But when I was sixteen, I was rooting in her closet looking for something.” She’d been snotty, and Mom had taken away her cell phone in punishment. The minute Mom left for work the next day, Cait in a fury had dug through all of her mother’s dresser drawers, looked inside coat pockets in her closet, then taken down every box on the closet shelf. In the second one, she’d found a couple of photo albums and letters and been distracted from her search. She remembered sitting on the bed turning pages in the albums. Already her memories of her dad and her brother were fading. But here were Colin’s and her school photos, as well as lots of family snapshots. Mostly those weren’t all that great—people were squinting against the sun or looked posed and uncomfortable. There were first-day-of-school pictures, when Colin or she were stiff in their new clothes. And some of Dad laughing with his arm around one of them. She’d felt strange, seeing those.
She hadn’t paid much attention to the letters, beyond dumping them out on the bed so she could look at the loose photos. There had been a bundle tied in ribbon with handwriting she’d recognized as Nanna’s. But then she saw that a picture of a man she had recognized was bundled with a few notes that weren’t in envelopes.
“I found some notes he’d written Mom,” she said. “They were...um, kind of explicit. And then in one he was pleading with her to leave Dad. He said he’d take us, too. In the last one, he said, ‘Why won’t you call me? You’re wrong, whatever you think.’” She remembered it word for word. “It freaked me out. I guess Mom slept with him, but then she ditched him when he got serious about her. Which made me wonder if there hadn’t been other men, too.”
Colin hadn’t moved. “Mom?” he finally said in a low, dark voice.
Cait bobbed her head. “I always thought...”
His eyes focused on her.
“That you must know. I mean, you were older—”
“No. I had no idea. What does he look like?”
She did her best to describe the Jerry she remembered from back then and the one she’d encountered today.
“That son of a bitch,” he muttered.
“Maybe,” she said. “But it’s still mostly Mom I stumble over. I mean, she was married. She had us to think about.”
“You mean, she had you to think about,” he said, with less emotion than she suspected he really felt about being deserted by his own mother. But then his eyes narrowed. “Why would she have introduced you to him?”
“I guess sometimes they wanted to get together and she didn’t have any place to leave me. Or maybe they were playing family. I don’t know. I was a kid. I thought we ran into him by accident.” She told him about having lunch with the man, and the treat of getting to go practically out onto the runway to watch planes take off and land. “One time we had a picnic. I don’t remember where. We swam. I remember the water being really cold, but it was fun.” She shrugged. “All innocent, until I found out it wasn’t.”
“Goddamn it,” her brother said bitterly.
“Do you think Dad knew?”
Colin’s face was transformed by anger, his eyes the color of storm clouds. “I have no idea. I tried not to listen when they were screaming at each other.”
She nodded her understanding; sometimes she’d run to her room and pulled her pillow over her head. The yelling so often ended in crashes and grunts and sobbing. She hadn’t wanted to be anywhere near her parents then.
Right now, she was feeling something of the same choking sense of anxiety.
A muscle ticked beneath Colin’s eye. “I may have to meet this Hegland.”
She seemed to have quit breathing. “You look like Dad right now.”
“I don’t look anything like him,” he said in a low growl. But he did. He did. Dad’s face had always been so flushed when he lost his temper, worse when he’d had too much to drink, of course. Right now, dark color suffused Colin’s face and tendons stood out in his forearms. His hand had fisted around his bread knife.
Just like Daddy’s.
“Yes, you do.” She bent her head so she didn’t have to see him. Oh, God. This was what she’d felt every time Blake started to get mad.
“Colin, you’re scaring her,” Nell said softly. When Cait sneaked a worried peek, she saw that her sister-in-law had laid a hand on Colin’s arm. He’d turned his head and was looking at her.
After a minute, during which Cait didn’t dare move, he said, “Cait.” His voice was gruff but also somehow gentle. “I know what you saw back then, but I’m not like Dad. I’ve never wanted to be anything like him. I fought with him to keep you and Mom safe, but I’m not a violent man.”
She looked up to find him regarding her ruefully.
“Seeing you look scared of me,” he said, “that’s one of the worst things you could do to me.” He made a rough sound in his throat. “I would never hurt you.”
She gave a quick little nod, and, after a moment, he answered it with one of his own.
“All right,” he said.
Embarrassed at her over-the-top reaction—could she call it a past life regression?—she told him she was sorry. Colin insisted she had nothing to be sorry for.
Nell interceded by getting them talking about something else, and later, when they were alone in the kitchen, she apologized to Cait for mentioning Jerry.
“No, it’s all right. I just had this sort of flashback.” Cait even managed a small laugh. “The perils of coming home.”
“Which I fully understand.” Nell bumped her shoulder against Cait’s. “You should go figure out what you’re going to wear tomorrow.”
“Oh, boy.” New anxiety instead of anticipation, and Cait didn’t even know why. Because this was Angel Butte? Because, in running away from Blake, she’d made a sharp right turn in her life? Or because she would be seeing Noah Chandler at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow, and had no idea why he made her feel so edgy?
CHAPTER THREE
WHEN NOAH AND Cait walked into Chandler’s Brew Pub, a host rushed to greet them, and what other employees Cait could see were suddenly very busy. Cait would have been more amused if she didn’t now work for him, too.
He’d been nothing but agreeable all morning, from the minute he had walked her to her new office. After barely giving her a chance to glance around, he’d hustled her back out so he could introduce her to half the people who worked for the city. Within an hour, names were running together in her head. Perhaps seeing that her smile was growing strained, he had decided to drive her around in his truly enormous SUV so she could see ongoing projects.
“I’d like to take you to lunch,” he had then declared.
She felt a flutter in her chest at the idea of having to look at him over a table for an hour and make conversation. She found herself wishing he was married, maybe had a couple of kids she could ask about. Knowing he was single was part of what had her on edge.
Noah Chandler was an incredibly sexy man despite the fact that he was the next thing to homely. Or maybe that wasn’t it, she’d found herself thinking as she stole glances at him while he drove. Colin had said he was an ugly bastard, but Cait couldn’t imagine any woman agreeing with that assessment. No, he only surprised her because, except for the very sharp blue eyes, he looked like a laborer, not a politician. He ought to be operating a forklift or heaving heavy loads in and out of trucks or railroad cars, not wearing a beautifully cut suit and running a city. She wondered how he kept that powerful physique. Certainly not by scowling at his computer monitor and hammering the keyboard, the way he’d been when she had stepped into his office that morning.
He wasn’t a physical type that had ever attracted her, for which Cait gave thanks. Surely she’d become inured to the intensity that seemed to be as much a part of him as his raspy voice and tendency to be abrupt when he forgot he was trying to give the impression he was an easygoing man.
They had barely been seated by the eager host when a pretty blonde waitress magically appeared with menus. She wore a tight little black skirt and a crisp white shirt that strained over generous breasts.
“Mr. Chandler,” she purred.
He glanced at her with scant interest and nodded. “Jess.”
Looking disappointed, Jess retreated with their drink orders, walking more like a model prowling a catwalk than a busy waitress.