Hometown Christmas Gift

“All I know is that Lainie thought the world revolved around you. To the point I thought that maybe someday...” Justin shook his head. “And then she began dating Will, marrying him right out of college.”

It was when she’d called him with news of her engagement that he’d been taken down emotionally, causing him to lose focus that night during his last ride in the rodeo finals in Vegas, giving Lucky Shamrock the upper hand. The sixteen-hundred-pound bull had put an end to Jackson’s career with one good stomp on Jackson’s leg. In that one day, he lost the girl he’d loved enough to let go, and then his career as a professional bull rider.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Jackson told him. “The past is in the past.”

“That means you and Lainie should be able to mend whatever fences the two of you have that need mending.”

This time Jackson didn’t try to deny what his friend had called him out on. He was just grateful he hadn’t pressed for details. That kiss he’d shared with Lainie all those years ago had meant something to Jackson. More than it should have. “You still should have told me she was coming,” he said with a troubled frown.

Justin settled a hip atop the corner of his desk and folded his arms. “So you could leave town?”

“Why would I do that?” he asked.

“You and I both know that you would have done everything in your power to avoid her, all because of that barely noticeable limp you have, and right now Lainie needs you.”

Barely noticeable? Did his friend truly not realize how his injury had affected him, not only physically but mentally? And Lainie had been the one doing the avoiding. He was so busy mentally defending himself that it took a moment for Justin’s last statement to sink in. Lainie needs you.

Jackson met his friend’s sober gaze. “What are you talking about?”

Justin stood and crossed the room to close his office door. Then he turned to face him. “What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this room. My sister will have my head if Mom and Dad get wind of this. Lainie’s hoping things will change and they’ll never need to know what’s been going on.”

He’d never seen his friend so serious. “It stays here,” Jackson promised with a nod.

Justin returned to his desk, sinking into the chair with a heavy sigh. “Lainie is moving home because she’s emotionally wrung out and needed to get away from Sacramento.”

“Understandable,” he replied, his heart going out to Lainie. “She was widowed at twenty-eight, left to raise a young son all on her own.”

“She wouldn’t have had to handle anything on her own if only she had come home after Will died,” Justin said, a hint of frustration lacing his words.

“Maybe Lainie needed to at least try to handle things on her own,” Jackson pointed out. “Know that she could stand on her own two feet. Whatever her reason may be, it’s safe to say the past couple of years, twenty months to be exact, couldn’t have been easy for her. Or for Lucas, for that matter,” he added, recalling the boy’s angry outburst.

“You know the exact number of months?”

“It happened to Lainie,” Jackson replied.

Justin nodded. “Sort of burns itself into one’s memory, doesn’t it? And you’re right. It hasn’t been easy for her. Granted, Lainie always tried to sound strong whenever we talked on the phone, but I could hear the strain of what she’s been through in her voice, having to cope with such a tragedy on her own. I know when we went out there for Will’s funeral Lucas was angry with God for taking his father. We all talked to him, trying to get him to see that his anger shouldn’t be directed at the Lord, but at the bad choices people sometimes make. Like the teenager who ran that red light that night, causing the accident. Lainie said Lucas had been coming around, but then eight months ago he suddenly began acting out again. Not only at home, but at school and church as well.”

“Sounds like his grief is finally surfacing,” Jackson said, his heart going out to the little boy, who’d lost his father so young, and to Lainie, whose husband had been taken from her so tragically.

“It needs to,” his friend said. “Grief tends to fester when it’s shoved aside. Look at how it affected Garrett.”

Not only had Jackson and his brothers lost a sister, but his older brother had also lost his high school sweetheart. It had taken Hannah, Garrett’s new wife, and her son, Austin, to bring joy fully back into his life.

“I don’t want to even think about Lucas holding in his grief for seventeen years like my brother did,” Jackson said with a frown.

“Lainie hopes their moving back to Bent Creek, where Lucas will also have his grandparents and myself to turn to when things are troubling him, might be what my nephew needs to pull him from this grief-driven anger he’s been experiencing.”

Jackson could tell there were issues going on between Lainie and her son but didn’t know to what extent. “From what I witnessed today, when I took the key over to your sister, Lainie isn’t overreacting where her son is concerned.”

Justin’s brows furrowed. “Why? What did you see?”

“It was more what I overheard. Their voices were raised, at least her son’s was, when I rode up to your porch,” Jackson explained. “Lucas was having a meltdown of sorts and then ran off. Lainie doesn’t know I overheard their exchange of words, and I’d appreciate it if things could stay that way. Sounds like she’s got enough on her plate already without adding embarrassment to all the other emotions she’s dealing with right now.”

“I appreciate that,” his friend said, concern creasing his brow. “I had intended to take the day off and be home waiting for them when they came, but they arrived a couple days ahead of schedule and I am tied up here at work for several more hours.”

An impatient tapping sounded at the office door.

“Excuse me,” Justin said apologetically as he stood and crossed the room to answer it.

“Sheriff,” Mrs. Baxter, the middle-aged receptionist who worked the front desk, said a bit breathlessly, a troubled frown marring her features. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Kathy Culler just called. Todd—that is Deputy Culler—has had an accident.”

“How bad?” Justin pressed, his words pulling Jackson back to the present.

“Bad,” she said fretfully. “Apparently, Deputy Culler fell off his ladder while putting Christmas lights up on their roof and broke his hip. Kathy told me they’d just taken him back for emergency surgery.”

Justin dragged a hand back through his dark brown hair. “The break must have been a serious one.”

She nodded. “Kathy isn’t one to get too overwrought about things, but she was definitely in a panicked state when she called to let us know.”

Jackson said a silent prayer for the injured man, knowing firsthand how hard recovery could be for a badly broken hip. Especially for an older man. Deputy Culler was in his late fifties and had been employed by Bent Creek’s Sheriff’s Department for as long as Jackson could remember. Could probably even have been sheriff somewhere along the way if he hadn’t had such an aversion to all the extra paperwork and responsibility the position demanded, stressors of the job Justin handled with ease.

“I’ll head over to the hospital to sit with her for a while as soon as I finish up here,” Justin told his frazzled secretary. “In the meantime, call Deputy Mitchell and explain the situation. See if there’s any chance he could cut his vacation short to come back and take over Deputy Culler’s shift. Tell him we’ll make it up to him.”

“I doubt he’ll be able to,” she replied, her frown deepening. “He’s on a ship somewhere in Alaska.”

Justin sighed. “I forgot he was going to be seeing Alaska by cruise ship.”

She managed a slight smile. “Probably because his vacations usually include a remote cabin somewhere. Not a fancy hotel on the water. Besides, you’ve got a lot on your mind with your sister and her son coming home to live with you.”

Jackson’s brows knitted together. Justin had told his receptionist about Lainie moving home, but had chosen to keep the news from him? Sure, Jackson had mentioned knowing there were issues between him and Lainie. But it made Jackson wonder exactly what his friend did know. Had Lainie opened up to her brother about the heartbreak Jackson had caused her? About how he had crushed all of her girlhood dreams about true love?

“I could probably reach him through the cruise line’s main office,” Mrs. Baxter suggested. “He could probably catch a flight home from his next stop.”

“No,” Justin said, shaking his head with a sigh. “Deputy Vance and I can split Deputy Culler’s shifts between us.”

“Only two of you doing everything?” she said, growing wide-eyed beneath the rim of her rhinestone-lined cat’s-eye glasses.

“It’ll only be for ten or so days,” he assured her. “Then Deputy Mitchell will be back and can take over his share of the extra workload. In the meantime, I’ll see if we can bring in additional help until we’re back to a full crew.”

She shrugged. “I suppose that’s all we can do for now. Thank the Lord above that Bent Creek is a peace-loving town or we would be in real trouble.”

Justin offered her a reassuring smile. “If that was an issue, I’d just deputize Jackson here to fill in. He’s good with a rope. Could lasso any criminal who dared to step foot in our little town.”

The older woman looked his way and Jackson smiled. “If it ever came down to it, I wouldn’t even wait for him to ask. I’d volunteer.” His gaze slid over to Justin. “Because that’s what friends are for. To help each other out in times of need.” And Justin had been there for him plenty of times over the years. Especially after Lucky Shamrock had sent Jackson to the hospital with a crushed leg and fractured hip. Justin was always checking in on him. He’d driven Jackson to countless physical therapy sessions and had picked Jackson up those times depression threatened to claim him.

“That’s good to know,” the older woman said, sounding a little less harried. Looking to Justin, she said, “I’ll call Kathy and let her know you’ll be stopping by.”

“Thank you,” Justin said, closing the door behind the older woman’s departing form. Then he turned to Jackson. “This couldn’t have happened at a worse time.”

“Not so sure Todd had much say-so over the timing,” Jackson pointed out with a small grin, hoping to ease some of his friend’s stress.

“Maybe not, but the fact remains I’m going to be spending most of my time working.”

“In other words, nothing’s changed,” he pointed out. His friend was very committed to the position he’d been appointed to and worked long hours already as it was.

“I had hoped to take a little time off to spend time with Lainie and Lucas, but that won’t be possible now,” Justin said with a heavy sigh.

“I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“Maybe so. But Lainie was counting on me to do things with Lucas his father might have done if he were still here. With Todd out of commission, and Deputy Mitchell away on a lengthy vacation, I’m going to have far less time to spend with my nephew. Intentional or not, I’m letting my sister down when she needs me the most.”

“Maybe your dad can fill in until your schedule frees up a little,” Jackson suggested.

Justin looked to him. “Dad? You do recall that he’s seventy years old now, with arthritis in both knees.”

Jackson nodded. Justin and Lainie’s parents had been in their early-to midforties when they’d adopted the orphaned siblings. His friend had been five at the time and Lainie only two, and they had been loved beyond measure by their adoptive parents—the only parents they had ever really known. “I suppose that would make it difficult to play football with Lucas, or to go on hikes with him through the woods.” And all the things they used to do with their fathers as boys.

“Jackson,” Justin said, meeting his gaze. “You’ve always been like a brother to me. To Lainie as well.”

Not always, Jackson thought, recalling the kiss. Guilt nudged at him. “I feel the same way.”

“Glad to hear it,” his friend replied. “Because we need your help.”

Jackson’s brows arched upward. “My help?” Something told him he didn’t want to hear what the other man had to say.

“I’m not going to be able to be there for my sister and her son right now,” he said, and Jackson could tell it was tearing him apart. “At least, not like I’d planned to be. But I’m hoping they’ll be able to have the next best thing—you.”

Me? he thought, feeling the urge to back himself right out of Justin’s office. The last thing Lainie wanted to do was spend time around him. “Justin, you know I would do anything for you. But how am I supposed to help Lainie with her son?”

“You’re an uncle,” his friend explained. “You’ve had experience with kids.”

“Limited,” he countered.

“More than me,” Justin pointed out, effectively winning the debate.

“Have you forgotten about my bad leg?”

Justin arched a brow. “You can’t be serious.”

He was. But not because it would keep him from doing things with Justin’s nephew. It was having Lainie see him limp around on his damaged leg, knowing he could never be the man she’d once been so determined to give her heart to.

“Look,” his friend said, his tone serious, “if you’re too busy to help me out, or would just prefer not to, just say so. I’ll figure something out. I know you’ve just finished up the rodeo season and you’re probably worn thin.”

True. He was still recovering from spending weeks on end, traveling from state to state with the broncs he and his brothers had contracted out to various rodeos. But this was his best friend asking for his help. More importantly, Lainie needed it, even if he was fairly certain she wouldn’t want it. And Justin had enough on his plate as it was. He shouldn’t have to be worrying about his sister as well.

Shoving his own reservations back, Jackson said with a sigh of resignation, “No need to look elsewhere. I’ll do it.”

Relief swept over the sheriff’s face in the form of a wide smile. “Thanks. I owe you one. My sister’s happiness means the world to me.”

It meant the world to him, too, but Jackson wasn’t so sure Lainie knew that. Probably for the best, he decided, because they could never go back to the way things were before he’d broken her heart.

Chapter Two

“Morning,” Lainie said in greeting as her brother, finally coming in from the night shift he’d had to work, stepped into the kitchen. He was a sight for sore eyes after her trip home and a long, restless night, having cried herself to sleep the night before thanks to an emotional journey.

“Sis,” Justin replied with an affectionate grin as he crossed the kitchen to where she stood at the stove frying up some bacon. He gave her a warm, welcoming bear hug and then released her as he took a step back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here with you last night.”

She shrugged. “Life doesn’t always work out the way we plan for it to.” She knew that better than anyone. “Besides, Lucas and I were both spent. We went to bed early. Thank you for keeping me updated though. Sounds like things are more than a little bit crazy at work for you right now.” He’d called her the evening before to explain what had happened and to let her know he wouldn’t be making it home that night. Then he had texted her that morning to let her know he was finally on his way home and couldn’t wait to see her and his nephew.

“To say the least. Deputy Vance and I were trying to get some sort of temporary schedule worked out.”

“I hate the thought of you having driven home after working the night shift,” she said with a frown. “If only I could have helped you.” But she hadn’t driven since the night of the accident that killed Will. Didn’t think she ever would again, which was why she intended to look for a place in town. Lucas would be able to walk to school and she would be able to get to the grocery store, pharmacy, even the doctor, whatever either of them might need.

“I was able to grab an hour or so of shut-eye in my office when Deputy Vance came in to relieve me. After that, I felt rested enough to make the short drive home.”

“That makes me feel a little better,” she told him. “As anxious as I was to see you, I’m glad you stayed and got some much-needed rest before coming home.” She couldn’t bear it if something happened to him, too.

“Some homecoming, huh?” he said with a frown.

“It was probably for the best,” she admitted. “Lucas wasn’t in the best of moods when we got here yesterday.”

Justin settled back against the kitchen counter, arms crossed in a casual stance. “Jackson said you and Lucas had words.”

Lainie turned her attention back to the pan of crispy bacon atop the stove, a knot forming in her stomach. Just as she had feared, Jackson had been there long enough to hear at least part of the argument she was having with her son. “I wish you hadn’t sent him here with the key.”

“You’d rather I left you standing outside in the cold?”

She frowned. “No.”

“You told me you wanted to wait until today to surprise Mom and Dad since you arrived early, and because you wanted to give Lucas a chance to settle in after the move. Therefore, my calling them to run over to Bent Creek to bring you their spare key was out of the question. So Jackson was the next-best thing.”

Lainie sighed. “I’m sorry, Justin. I don’t mean to give you a hard time. Especially since you’re doing so much for Lucas and me, allowing us to stay here until we find a place of our own. But things are just...well, they’re awkward between Jackson and myself.” She’d also need to look for a job. While her husband had left them financially secure, she wanted to keep most of that money in the bank for unexpected expenses and for a college fund for her son.

He nodded in understanding. “I’d imagine they would be. You haven’t really seen him or even spoken to him for years. What I don’t understand is why that is.”

Lainie prayed to the Lord for the emotional strength this homecoming was going to require of her. But if it helped her son, she would endure anything that came her way—even her foolish young past where she’d thrown herself, heart included, at Jackson, only to be told he didn’t feel the same way.

“Life changes and so do people,” she explained as she turned to the stove and began plucking the bacon out of the cast-iron frying pan with the tongs. She then placed the crispy strips onto the paper-towel-covered plate she’d put on the counter beside the stove. “Jackson is all about the rodeo,” she went on, praying the hurt she’d tried to keep bottled up where her brother’s best friend was concerned would remain where she’d placed it—buried deep. “And, of course, his family. Just as I’m not the same young girl who left Bent Creek all those years ago. I’ve grown up.” Grown wiser. “The focus in my life is on my family, too, but most especially on my son. And now, more than ever, it needs to stay that way. I can’t afford any distractions.”

“Okay, so if I were to read a little deeper between the lines of that explanation, I think what you’re also saying is that you still haven’t gotten over Jackson,” her brother said, taking Lainie by surprise.

Her head snapped around, her gaze meeting his. “Excuse me?”

Justin grabbed a cup from the kitchen cupboard and poured himself some of the coffee Lainie had made when she’d first awoken that morning. “When you were little,” he said calmly, “you used to adore Jackson, following us around like a pesky shadow. As you got older, I would watch your face light up whenever he came over to visit.”

“He was like my other brother,” she said, realizing as soon as she’d said it that she’d done so a little too defensively. “I was always happy to see you when you came home.”

“Maybe so,” he conceded. “But I never got as many meatballs as you served Jackson with his spaghetti when you helped Mom with dinner. And I might also point out that his garlic bread slices were—”

“All right,” she muttered as she placed the final bacon strip onto the awaiting plate and then turned to face him. “I might have had a small crush on your best friend. But I was young and foolish, and I can guarantee you that I’ll never be that doe-eyed girl again where Jackson Wade is concerned.”

“Never is a very long time,” he pointed out.

“It’s how it has to be.”

“That being the case, do you think you could handle Jackson’s stepping in for me where Lucas is concerned?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I asked Jackson to help you with Lucas until I get this mess at work straightened out.”

“Justin,” she groaned.

“He knows his way around kids,” her brother hastened to explain.

She snorted. “Jackson Wade? The only thing he knows his way around is horses.”

Her brother shook his head. “Not true. He has a niece, who is only a year or so younger than Lucas, and now two nephews, since Autumn recently gave birth, giving Tucker a son.”

“But no children of his own,” she countered.

“Neither do I, but you asked for my help with Lucas.”

“That’s different. And you are every bit as qualified as Jackson is as far as that goes. You have a nephew, too.”

“Lainie,” he said, sounding frustrated, “you know what I mean. However, the point I’m trying to make is that Jackson is a very devoted uncle who puts a good bit of time in with his niece and nephews. And the truth of the matter is that no man is born a father. That sort of thing comes later, with maturity and time. While Jackson and I aren’t anyone’s fathers yet, we are men. We know what it’s like to be a young boy. We know how their minds think, and what activities they like to participate in. Just give Jackson a chance.”

Her brother might be right, but that didn’t change things. She still reacted like a silly, lovestruck teenager whenever Jackson was near. To the point she felt like she was being disloyal to her husband.

“Lucas will be fine until you can spend time with him. I don’t want or need Jackson’s help. But please thank him for offering to do so the next time you see him. Once Christmas break is over, Lucas will be able to start making friends, which should help him settle into his new life here.”

His worried frown deepened. “It’s your decision. But that won’t change the fact that you will be seeing Jackson from time to time.”

She knew that. She couldn’t ask her brother to keep Jackson from stopping by to see him. Nor would she. She would simply have to do her best to work around the situation whenever it occurred. Like go to her room and lose herself in a good book. Or even slip outside for a long walk.

“I’m an adult,” she told him. “I think I can handle crossing paths with Jackson Wade from time to time.” At least, she prayed she could.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied. “Because the last thing I want to do is add to the stress you’re under right now.”

“I appreciate your concern,” she told him as she pulled a carton from the fridge. “But I’m a lot stronger than I look. One or two eggs?”

He looked to the stove. “You don’t have to cook for me.”

“I want to.” It made her feel like she was needed. Without Will in her life, and with her son pushing her away, Lainie felt like she was adrift in a churning sea of loneliness. It was her own fault. After the accident, she’d turned all her focus to Lucas, leaving no time for social interaction with the friends she’d made after she and Will had married. “How many eggs would you like? I just finished frying up the bacon right before you got home.”

“Have you eaten?”

She shook her head. “No. But I’m not very hungry.”

“Lainie, you need to eat,” he insisted.

“Fine,” she said, not having the energy to argue. “I’ll have an egg, too.”

“And Lucas?”

“He’s still asleep. Traveling home yesterday took a lot out of him.” As did his determination to fight this move, to fight her, she thought wearily, her heart aching. She turned back to the stove before her brother noticed the tears filling her eyes. While she had come there, praying her brother might be able to help her son, she didn’t want to add to Justin’s stress at that moment. Not with all he had going on at work. She could weather this storm a little longer on her own, just as she had been for the past eight months or so, ever since her son had started acting out with fits of anger. “How many eggs would you like?” she called back over her shoulder.