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- 100%
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And he’d let her get away.
“You’re not dreaming,” she told him, her tone dry.
He dropped his hand and stepped back, needing to get his head back in the game. “Guess that means you’re not, either.”
“That thought did cross my mind,” she said, her big brown eyes inquisitive. “I certainly never expected to run into you, today of all days.”
He knew the day. Knew it well. Which just made the meeting all the more surreal. “Same here,” he mumbled.
They both fell silent. Lucy appeared as stunned as he was.
Well, why wouldn’t she be? They hadn’t laid eyes on each other in years. Despite what had happened between them, what they’d shared over that one amazing holiday season, not one word had been exchanged between them since mid-January, nearly six years ago. Not a card, not a phone call. No chance of bumping into each other since, the last he’d known, she had been bound for Europe.
But here she was. Not just in Chicago, but in his office.
His freaking office!
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his brain not catching up yet. It should be obvious. Lucy had been studying photography when they’d met. Besides which, she was carrying a camera bag. And was dressed as an elf.
A smile tried to tug at his lips. He remembered that elf costume. Remembered it so well.
Suddenly he was remembering everything so well.
Some things too well.
“I’m working,” she said, her head going up, that pretty mouth tightening. “Did you happen to notice the picture-with-Santa session that’s been going on for the past couple of hours?”
He’d barely noticed anything that was going on, being too busy working to socialize. The employee Christmas party had been a long-standing tradition with Elite Construction, the company his grandfather had founded, and he now ran. That didn’t mean the boss ever had much time to participate in it. He’d made the rounds, thanked his employees, greeted their kids and wives, then retreated back into his office for the last two hours, only coming out to say goodbye now that things were winding down.
“I noticed,” he finally replied.
“Well, that was me behind the camera.”
“I know that, I heard you did a great job and was coming over to meet you,” he said, still knocked off-kilter by her mere presence.
“Sorry, Santa’s gone. No more pictures. Though, if you want to sit on the chair, I guess I could snap a shot of you holding a candy cane and a teddy bear.”
Still sassy. God, he’d always liked that about her.
“I meant, I was coming to thank you for agreeing to do the party on such short notice.”
“You didn’t know I was the elf until just now?” she asked, sounding slightly suspicious. As if wondering if he’d set up this little reunion.
Huh. If he’d known she was nearby, he might have considered doing just that—even though Lucy probably wouldn’t have been thrilled about it, judging by the look on her face.
“I swear, I had no idea.” He was suddenly very interested in talking to his assistant, wondering how she’d found Lucy. He also wondered if the motherly, slightly nosy woman had been doing a little matchmaking. He wouldn’t put it past her. She was nothing if not a closet romantic.
“My real question was,” he continued, “what are you doing here in Chicago? You swore you’d never live here. Hell, I figured you’d be in Europe.”
That had been her dream, living overseas, being a world-traveling photographer. So what had happened? She had seemed utterly determined that she would never stay near home and take…Santa pictures of little kids.
He glanced at the velvet-covered chair, the fluffy fake snow, the tripod, and her, back in that elf suit.
How on earth had her life gotten so derailed?
“I was for a while, did my semester abroad and went back right after graduation,” she said.
Just as she’d planned. Which was one reason he’d stayed out of touch, knowing an entire ocean was going to separate them, so why bother trying to make something work when geography said it couldn’t?
“And?”
“And I wasn’t happy, so I ended up back in New York a few years ago.”
Years. She’d been on the same continent for years. A short plane ride away. The thought made him slightly sick to his stomach, especially considering the number of times he’d thought about her during that same time span. The curiosity about whether she’d kept the same cell phone number and whether it would work in Paris.
Maybe not. But it probably would have in New York. Damn.
“How did Chicago enter the equation?”
“You remember, I grew up in this area?”
He remembered, but she’d seemed adamant about never coming back here, associating it with her tragic loss. “I remember.”
“Well, I moved back here ten months ago to be closer my brother.”
Even as another wave of shocked pleasure washed over him—she’d moved here, to the very same city—the brother’s name immediately popped into his mind.
“Sam?”
“Right. He went through a pretty bad divorce and I thought he could use some family nearby.”
“That’s a shame…about the divorce, I mean.”
“Yes, it is. I really thought they’d make it.”
“Does anybody anymore?” he mumbled before he could think better of it.
Her whole body stiffened, and he mentally kicked himself for going there. Because he and Lucy sure hadn’t.
Then again, had they expected to? Hell, what had happened between them had been so sudden, so unexpected. Neither of them had been in the right place for any kind of relationship—mentally, emotionally, financially, or in any other way.
Except physically. Oh, yeah. There they’d been absolutely perfect together.
It had been so good during the incredibly brief time it lasted. Honestly, looking back, he could say it was the best Christmas Eve he’d ever had in his life.
Followed by the worst Christmas Day.
“How do you like being back in Chicago?” he asked, sensing she was trying to gracefully exit stage left.
“It’s cold,” she said with a shrug, not giving an inch, not softening up a bit. Hell, he supposed he couldn’t blame her.
“You look like you’ve done well for yourself,” she said, an almost grudging tone to her voice. She looked him over, head-to-toe, as if wondering where the jeans, T-shirt and tool belt had gone.
Some days—many days—he longed for them. Wearing a suit—even if he usually lost the tie and rolled-up his sleeves at some point every day—just didn’t excite him the way working with his hands always had. “I guess. And you?”
She nodded. “I have my own studio.”
“Still boycott Christmas?”
She glanced down at her costume. “As much as I possibly can, which isn’t easy in my line of work. You still a sappy kid about it?”
He nodded, unashamed. “Absolutely.” Even if, for the past five holiday seasons, he’d spent a lot more time wondering about Lucy—where she’d gone, if she’d stayed in Europe, become a famous photographer—than he had worrying about what present to get for which sister, niece or nephew.
As if they’d both run out of small talk for the moment, they returned to staring. Ross couldn’t deny it, the years had been good to her; Lucy was beautiful. No perky little elf hat complete with feather could take away from that. Nor could the short dress, striped tights—oh, God, those tights, did they ever bring back memories—and pointy-tipped shoes.
She should look cute and adorable. Instead she looked hot and sexy, bringing wild, intense memories to his mind of the last time he’d seen her wearing that very same outfit.
He was suddenly—forcibly—reminded of how long it had been since he’d had sex.
Good sex? Even longer.
Fabulous, never-forget-it, once-in-a-lifetime sex?
Six years. No doubt about it.
He swallowed as memories flooded over him, having to shift a little. Lucy had always affected him physically. Damned if he wanted anyone to notice that now, though. The CEO wasn’t supposed to sport wood at the corporate holiday party.
“I’m impressed that you can still fit into that,” he admitted against his own better judgment. “But not too surprised. You haven’t changed a bit.”
She flushed. “Maybe not physically. But I’m not the same sweet, wide-eyed kid anymore.”
He barked a laugh. “Sweet kid? Aren’t you the same person who was planning to dismember her ex-boyfriend when we met?”
“I didn’t actually do it.”
No, she hadn’t. As he recalled, Ross had enjoyed the pleasure of taking her ex apart. And it had felt damn good, too.
“That’s good—I’d hate to think you’ve spent the last six years in jail.”
“Maybe if you hadn’t stopped calling, you’d know where I spent the last six years,” she replied, ever-so-sweetly.
Direct hit. He winced. “Look, Lucy…”
She waved a hand, obviously angry at herself for having said anything. “Forget it. Water under the bridge.”
“You know what I was going through—why I left New York.” Of course she knew, she’d been there when he’d gotten the call that brought him back home.
“I know,” she said. “I understood…I understand.”
Maybe. But that not-staying-in-touch thing obviously still rankled.
He’d probably asked himself a dozen times over the years why he hadn’t at least tried to get back in touch with her once his life had returned to something resembling normal. Maybe a hundred times. It always came back to the same thing: he was stuck. His life was here. Hers was…anywhere she wanted it to be. And she’d wanted it to be in another country, and a completely different reality from his, which was filled with contracts and workers-comp issues and the cost of lumber.
She’d been off to capture the world one still image at a time. He’d been boxed in, chained to the past, owing too much to other people to just go and live his life the way he had wanted to.
Not that it had turned out badly. He actually loved running the business and had done a damn fine job of it. He was glad to live in Chicago. He liked the vibe of this city, the people and the culture. So no, he didn’t regret coming back here. He had only one regret. Her.
“And now here you are,” he murmured, though he hadn’t intended to say it out loud.
“Don’t make a big thing of it,” she insisted. “I had no idea you worked here.”
“And if you had known? Would you have taken the job today, risked bumping into me?”
She didn’t reply. Which was answer enough.
Lucy really was mad at him. Well, that made two of them; he was mad at himself. Plenty of room for regrets, with six years of what-ifs under his belt. But at the time it had seemed like he was doing the right thing—the best thing—for both of them.
Of course, he’d questioned that just about every day since.
“Excuse me, Ross?”
He glanced away from Lucy, seeing Stella, his administrative assistant, who he’d inherited from his father. Who’d inherited her from his father. Older than dirt didn’t describe her. She had dirt beat—you’d have to go back to the rocks that had been worn down into the dirt to describe her.
You wouldn’t know it to look at her. From the bottled black dye job to the floral-print dress, she could pass for fifty. But Ross knew she’d passed that milestone at least two decades ago. He dreaded the day she was no longer around to keep him organized.
Or to matchmake? He was going to have to have a talk with Stella about that. He knew his assistant thought he was stressed and lonely and spent too much time in the office. Plus, Stella knew about Lucy—she was one of the few people who did, having gotten Ross to reveal the story after one long, stressful day. But would she have gone to that much trouble—tracking Lucy down and getting her here? It seemed crazy.
If it was true, he would have to decide whether to give her hell for meddling in his private affairs…or thank her.
The way Lucy wasn’t bothering to hide her dislike made him suspect the former.
The thought that he might be able to get her to change her mind? Definitely the latter.
He didn’t deny he was still interested. Still attracted. Judging by the absence of a ring on her left hand, he suspected she was available—at least technically. So maybe it was time to take his shot. See if he could make up for six wasted years. See if there was any way she could forgive him for walking—no, running—away before they ever really had a chance to get started.
“Ross?” Stella prompted again. “Mr. Whitaker is about to leave, and he’d like to see you before he goes.”
Whitaker—a client who’d sent a lot of work their way over the past several years. He wasn’t somebody Ross could ignore.
“Okay,” he said, before turning his attention back to Lucy. “Wait for me.” It wasn’t a request.
“No, I really have to go. It was nice to see you.”
Said like she’d say it was nice to see an elementary school bully she’d loathed for decades. Damn. He’d screwed this up so badly. Six years ago, and today. “Lucy, please…”
“Uh, Miss Fleming? If you’d step into the office, I can get you your payment right away,” Stella interjected. “I’m sure you’d prefer not to have to wait until after the holidays.”
Her lush bottom lip snagged between her teeth, Lucy looked torn. Ross glanced at Stella, wondering if she was intentionally using some stalling tactics to keep Lucy around. Then again, if she’d been trying to set them up, she probably wouldn’t have interrupted about Whitaker, no matter how important a client he was. So maybe this whole thing had just been luck. Good luck. Incredibly good luck.
And maybe it meant he was going to have another chance with the woman he’d so foolishly let slip away.
HMM. MONEY OR DIGNITY? Go with the bossy assistant, or run like hell? Decisions, decisions.
Normally Lucy would have been heading toward the door the second Ross’s back was turned. She had work to do, editing, photoshopping, cropping…plus all the stuff a small business owner was responsible for, but which often slipped through the cracks when the customers kept walking steadily through the door.
They wouldn’t be walking through the door on Christmas weekend, though, so she should be able to catch up. And one thing she needed to catch up on was ordering. She had some equipment to buy, and paying for it by December 31 would make her tax bill a lot lighter come spring.
Which meant she should really stick around for the money. They’d offered her a lot, both for her time, and for the portrait packages the company had preordered for every family. It might even be enough money to get the new laptop and the new lens she needed.
Ross stared at her, not pleading, not ordering. Just asking her to wait, give them a chance to talk. To catch up on old times? Seriously, what was there to say except, Hey, remember that time we had crazy wild sex in a pile of fluff in Santa’s workshop?
Good times.
Times that would never be repeated.
“I really should go,” she said.
The administrator, who had a brusque manner that said she didn’t like to take no for an answer, didn’t take no for an answer. “Don’t be silly, it won’t take five minutes. It will save our accountants some trouble.”
She eyed the woman doubtfully, suspecting this place did not keep their receipts and canceled checks in empty Amazon.com boxes the way she did.
“After the party, the offices shut down until New Year’s. So I’d really like to get this taken care of today, clear the party off the books, if you will.”
Huh. Sounded like every business had to deal with that pesky little IRS thing, even businesses as big as this one. Which, judging by the size of this brand-new six-story office building, and the fact that Elite Construction took up every floor of it, was very big, indeed. She wondered again what Ross did here. Obviously he no longer swung a hammer—he was dressed like a corporate guy.
She couldn’t help wondering what had happened to his dream of someday buying a piece of property and building a house on it, every stone, every shutter, every plank of wood put there with his own hands. Had Ross given up his dreams? Or had they merely changed, like hers had?
As if realizing his presence was making her reluctant, Ross said, “I should go. It was great seeing you again, Lucy.”
“You, too.”
She forced a tight smile, wishing she could hit Rewind and go back a half hour to think of something else to say to this man. Something breezy and casual, something that wouldn’t have revealed how she felt about not hearing from him after that one magical holiday. Something other than, “Well, if you’d called, you’d know where I’d been for the past six years.”
Weak, girl. So weak. She could almost hear Kate’s voice scolding her for making that snotty, hurt-sounding comment. Even though, now, there would be echoes of a baby and a toddler crying in the background as they had the conversation. Kate had married Teddy and started repopulating the planet.
Lucy, meanwhile, had managed only sexual affairs after Ross. But she hadn’t come anywhere close to falling in love. Not after the one-two punch she’d taken at twenty-two. First Jude, then Ross—the latter being the one who’d truly taught her about love and loss. Her poor heart had formed an exoskeleton thicker than an insect’s. Since then, she’d made love ’em and leave ’em a way of life, only substituting the love with do.
Even Kate had been impressed.
She watched him walk away, noting that he didn’t look back. His departure should have made it easier to stick around for a few minutes to get paid. Instead it just pissed her off. Ross was always the one who got to walk away. One of these days she wanted to be the one to make the grand exit.
But grand exits didn’t buy lenses and laptops. Money did. She’d spent a lot moving her studio from New York to Chicago. Yes, she was building a reputation and business was good. This one check, though, could do some nice things for her bottom line.
If she deposited the check tonight, then by this weekend, she could be happily shopping for laptops online while everybody else in the world unwrapped ugly sweaters and ate rock-hard fruitcake. She had bookings lined up all next week—a few of them big ones that could lead to some serious money. Plus, she was hoping to hear from a children’s magazine in New York, to whom she’d submitted some work. She wanted to be ready if they called and said they wanted more.
“Okay, if you can pay me now, I’d really appreciate it,” she finally told the administrator, who’d been waiting patiently, watching Lucy watch Ross.
“Excellent, come along.”
Lucy put down her camera and lens bags, and followed the woman, who’d introduced herself as Stella when she’d called a week ago to hire her. They left the party behind, heading down a long corridor toward the executive offices. Lucy couldn’t help noticing the opulence of this area, the thick carpet sinking beneath her feet, the beautiful artwork lining the walls. Somebody had spent a lot of time decorating this place and she suspected their clients ranked among Chicago’s most wealthy.
At the back end of the executive wing was an enclosed suite, into which Stella led her. A broad receptionist’s desk stood in the middle of a waiting area, blocking access to an imposing set of double doors. Stella breezed through them, into what looked like the head honcho’s office. It was huge, a corner room with floor-to-ceiling windows on two walls. The building wasn’t terribly high, but the location right on the water on the very outskirts of town meant nothing interrupted the beautiful view. The desk was as big as the kitchen in her tiny apartment, and in a partially blocked-off alcove, she saw an area for relaxation, complete with a refrigerator, TV and a fold-out couch…folded out. “Wow, is your boss a slave-driver? Do you have to be on call 24/7?”
The woman glanced around, then realized what Lucy was talking about. “That’s just for him. Our CEO is only hard on himself.”
“Does he live here or something?”
“It sometimes seems that way,” Stella said. “When we moved into this new building, he was spending so many hours here, I ordered the couch and make it up for him when I suspect he’ll pull an all-nighter.”
“That’s dedication.” On Stella’s part, and on her boss’s.
“It’s paid off. Elite is thriving when new construction is down nationwide.”
“I could tell by the party,” she admitted, knowing it must have set the company back a pretty penny. Few corporations bothered these days, and she suspected the happy atmosphere contributed to the company’s success.
Stella stepped behind the desk and picked up a pile of sealed envelopes, shuffling through a half-dozen of them before she said, “Ah, here we are!”
Lucy accepted it, tucking the very welcome check into her purse. “Thanks very much.”
“Thank you. Your photos were the hit of the party. I am actually glad the other company canceled. We’ve used them in the past and they’ve never had the response you did today. You’re wonderful with children.”
Lucy smiled, appreciating the praise. It was funny—six years ago, she probably would have been horrified at it.
Honestly, she wasn’t sure herself how it had happened. She just knew that, after two years in Paris, photographing cold-faced fashion models had lost all appeal. Same with old, lifeless buildings and stagnant landscapes.
Then Kate had started having kids. Lucy had visited for summers and holidays, becoming a devoted godmother and falling head-over-heels for those babies. She had delighted in taking their portraits, finding in children’s faces an energy and spontaneity she seldom found anywhere else.
So she’d gone back to New York. She’d set up a studio and begun exploring the amazingly creative world of little people. One thing had led to another, and then another. And soon she’d been getting calls from wealthy parents in other states, and had sold several shots to children’s catalogs and magazines.
Who’d’ve ever thought it?
Not her, that’s for sure. Nor would she ever have imagined that she’d really love what she was doing. But she did.
Life, it seemed, took some strange turns, led you in directions you’d never have imagined. It had taken her from the windy city, to the Big Apple, then to another continent. And now right back to where she’d started, in Chicago.
And back into Ross Marshall’s life.
No, don’t even go there, she reminded herself. She wasn’t back in his life. She was in the same building with him for another five minutes, max. Then she could go back to forgetting about the guy. Forgetting how good he still looked to her. How his sexy voice thrilled her senses. How his touch had sent her out of her mind.
How he’d once seemed like the guy she could love forever.
4
Then
New York, December 23, 2005
LUCY HAD TO GIVE THIS very handsome stranger— Ross—credit. He didn’t stand up and walk out of the coffee shop when she admitted she’d been fantasizing about separating an ex-boyfriend from part of his anatomy. He didn’t yelp, cringe, or reflexively drop a protective hand on his lap. None of the above. Instead he simply stared for a second, then let a loud burst of laughter erupt from his mouth.
She smiled, too, especially because she hadn’t really been fantasizing about maiming Jude when this guy had walked up behind her. In fact, she’d been laughing at herself for having thought about it earlier. Somehow, her whole mood had shifted from the time she’d walked into the coffee shop until the moment this incredibly handsome man had approached her.
Incredibly. Handsome.
Around them, others in the café glanced over. Lucy wasn’t blind to the stares that lingered on him. Heaven knew, any woman with a broken-in vagina would stare. Heck, hers wasn’t broken-in and she could barely take her eyes off the guy!
He’d been super-hot from across the room. Up close, now that she could see the tiny flecks in his stunning green eyes, the dazzling white smile, the slight stubble on his cheeks, well, he went from hot and sexy to smoking and irresistible. She’d actually shivered when their hands had met, unable to think a single thought except to wonder how those strong, rough fingers would feel sliding across her skin.