Reunited With The Bull Rider
- -
- 100%
- +
He couldn’t imagine a more painful scenario.
She’d been his. And he’d forfeited all claims to her.
He should be glad Amy wouldn’t agree to this arrangement. Would make life easier for him. But where did that leave Ruby? He could not let his baby sister—the child he now considered his daughter—to grow up as damaged as him.
* * *
“You must be Ruby.” Amy crouched in front of the play kitchen where the tiny blonde stood. The girl flinched, backing up to the wall. Amy ached to put her at ease. “I’m Amy.”
Ruby’s mouth slackened, her blue-green eyes opening wide with distrust. Nash’s eyes. She resembled him in other ways, too. Wide forehead, high cheekbones. But Nash’s nose was longer, while Ruby’s was a perfect button.
Hannah and little Daniel were coloring pictures at one of the children’s tables. Amy wasn’t sure what to do. The girl’s body language shouted fear.
“Would you like me to read you a book?” Amy gestured to the beanbags next to a small bookshelf.
Ruby didn’t blink, didn’t move. Her lips trembled.
“It’s okay.” She longed to touch her cheek, to reassure her, but she sensed any physical contact would terrify the girl. “Why don’t I pick one out, and you can come over if you’d like?”
She crossed to the shelf and selected a Curious George picture book. Then she lowered her body into one of the beanbags. How she would get out of it, she had no idea. Boy, it was low to the ground. Ruby hadn’t moved but still stared intently at her. Amy plastered on a big smile and waved for her to come over.
Ruby didn’t so much as twitch.
Maybe if she started reading it, the girl would join her. She read the first five pages out loud and peeked over the cover. Still staring. She read five more pages. Ruby had drifted a few feet in her direction. Progress. She continued until the end. Ruby stood about three feet away, her eyes locked on Amy’s face.
“You know, pretty soon you’ll be able to go to school, and you’ll learn how to read.”
“I know some letters.” She spoke with a lisp.
Amy nodded, encouraging the sign of interest. What this child must have been through. Left unsupervised with no food or heat. Disgraceful.
“Do you see any letters you recognize on the cover?” Amy held the book out.
“E. O.” She pointed to the letters.
“Good job! You’re very smart. Do you want me to read another book?”
She didn’t respond.
“Why don’t I pick one out?”
Pastor Moore and Nash came into the room. Ruby raced to Nash, wrapping her arms around his legs as if she never wanted to let him go. The sight made Amy’s stomach clench. Ruby trusted Nash. It was obvious. And if Amy had to guess, the child didn’t trust another living soul.
“Hey, RuRu, how do you like this fun place? We’ll be coming to church here every Sunday.” He hoisted her into his arms, settling her on his hip. She let her head fall onto his shoulder and wound her arms around his neck. “Us grown-ups have to talk a few more minutes, so you stay here and color with Daniel, okay?”
She buried her face in his shoulder.
“Honey, I will only be gone a few minutes.” His voice was soft, tender. He glanced at Pastor Moore, then Amy. “Would you give us a sec?”
“Of course.” The pastor waited for Amy to join him, and they went back to the conference room. “What did you think?”
“I think you were right to contact me. I know it’s not the church’s traditional program, but she seems...well...a bit traumatized.”
“Yes. She’s been through a lot. Tell me, Amy, do you see yourself as being her mentor? Now that you know her situation? Not to mention the man who will be raising her is someone from your past?”
Ruby’s face, demeanor and adorable lisp all came to mind. Yes, she could see herself as the girl’s mentor. She longed to make life better—normal—for the sweet child. To earn Ruby’s trust would mean the world to her.
But interacting with Nash?
No.
Just no.
Sure, she’d moved on and didn’t need to know Nash’s reasons for leaving, but the hurt was still there. Even if she and Ruby only met privately, looking in the girl’s eyes would be like looking into Nash’s. Amy didn’t know if she could do it.
But how could she admit to the pastor all the thoughts churning in her brain?
“I have a lot of mixed emotions about this. If it was anyone but Nash, I’d be setting up a schedule tonight. She’s so teeny. And four years is a dear age.”
“Are you over him?” the pastor asked gently.
“Yes.” She nodded too quickly. “Haven’t seen him in a decade.”
“I see. Are you worried you won’t be able to handle a long-term commitment with Ruby?”
Was she? Any arrangement with Ruby meant interacting with Nash. What if she got mad at him, or he blurted out the reason he left and it devastated her? Would she still be able to give Ruby the attention she needed?
“Kind of. This is all sudden.”
“Let’s pray about it.” He bowed his head, and Amy clasped her hands. “Heavenly Father, You are all-knowing and almighty. Please give Amy and Nash clarity about what is best for Ruby. If Amy isn’t the person You have in mind to help, make that clear, and lead another of our church members to step forward and answer the call. Above all, we pray You will heal Ruby’s hurts and comfort her. Lead us to support Nash as he navigates the new waters of fatherhood. In Your name we pray.”
“Amen,” Amy whispered. The reference to answering the call pierced her conscience. It had been more than a year since she’d begun praying about mentoring a child. How many times had she prayed to be paired with a young boy or girl? Too many to count.
“If you’re willing, let’s ask Nash and Ruby to meet us here again tomorrow night. It will allow you to spend a little more time with her before making your decision. If you want to help, you and Nash can work out a schedule then. If not, I’ll talk to him about other options.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Are there any other mentors who could help Ruby?”
“Not at this time, but a few of our retired ladies might be willing to spend a Saturday afternoon each month with her.”
Amy frowned. Would a few Saturday afternoons be enough for Ruby?
Nash came back into the room. His Western shirt and jeans couldn’t hide the fact he was built out of rock-solid muscle. It wasn’t as though she was attracted to him—she merely had eyes. He was a good-looking man. Who’d broken her heart and left her so he could ride bulls and be a superstar.
“Ah, Nash, good. Amy and I were talking about not rushing into this. Would you be willing to come back tomorrow night? Given this new development, I think you both could use some space before making a decision.”
“Sure.” He crossed his arms, then quickly uncrossed them. “And if it’s a no?”
Pastor Moore smiled. “We have options. None as good as Amy, but don’t worry. We won’t let you and Ruby down.”
“Okay. Does seven work for you?”
Amy nodded. Why was she even considering this set-up? No one—no one—would fault her for saying no. If it was anyone else, she’d do it. She ignored the voice in her head telling her she was only thinking of herself. Maybe she was, but who could blame her?
After murmuring goodbye, she hurried out of the room and stopped in her tracks. Ruby stood with Hannah and Daniel in the hallway. Her blank expression turned Amy’s legs to lead.
If only the child would smile or cry or...something. Amy had been around a lot of children during her years teaching Sunday school. She was used to the highs and lows of their moods. However, she couldn’t categorize Ruby’s emotional state. She seemed completely unengaged with the world. No joy, no hope—nothing.
As much as Amy wanted to avoid Nash, she also wanted to brighten this little girl’s life. Give her a reason to smile.
She had a lot to pray about.
“Guess what?” She approached Ruby, bending to speak at her level. “We can read another story tomorrow night. How does that sound?”
Ruby looked at her blankly. “I like the monkey book.”
“I do, too.” Amy straightened, surprised at the emotion clogging her throat. “See you tomorrow.”
If she agreed to this, she’d lose her heart to Ruby. Maybe already had. Losing her heart to a child she could handle. But losing it to Nash again? She would never let that happen. Not when her life was finally falling into place.
Chapter Two
Nash clipped the walkie-talkie to his belt and strode to the barn the next afternoon. Breathing in the cool air, he let the sun’s rays soothe his agitation. Ruby had fallen asleep watching cartoons. Normally, the girl didn’t nap—she fought sleep something fierce—so the fact she’d conked out was a blessing. He’d only been her guardian for a week, and already the role felt impossible.
He wasn’t a dad. He was a broken-down, retired bull rider. Sure, he’d risen to the top of his profession and made gobs of money, but he didn’t know how to do domestic. At thirty-one years old, he had a lot of life left to figure out, like how he was going to spend his days from now on. Inspecting his property would be a start.
Snow must have thawed recently for the ground to still be soft. This part of Wyoming tended to be dry. He checked the walkie-talkie again. If Ruby woke up and he wasn’t there... Her terrified face from two nights ago still bothered him. He’d put her to bed, read her a story and gotten ready to leave. She’d clung to his arm, shaking her head, her eyes wild. He’d asked her what was wrong, but she just kept repeating, “Don’t go.” So he’d stayed until she fell asleep. An hour later, she’d woken up, screaming. Scared him half to death. He’d cradled her in his arms, wishing he could have been there for her from birth to protect her. It had taken another hour before she’d stopped shaking.
Sometimes he wished his mother was alive just so he could chew her out. But she wasn’t, and he was left to fix her mistakes. Not that Ruby was a mistake...but her upbringing had been disastrous.
Could he fix Ruby?
Yesterday he’d bought the walkie-talkies and showed Ruby how to use them. He’d said, “If I’m not in the room with you, all you have to do is press this button and holler for me. Then take your finger off, and you’ll be able to hear me talk.” They’d practiced until she was an old pro.
He chuckled. He’d probably be at her beck and call from now on. Not that he minded. The girl was as cute as could be. His mission was to help her find her smile. He wanted to keep it there. Make her forget a lifetime of trauma and neglect.
He slid open the barn door and counted the stalls as he walked through. Enough for ten horses. He already owned six. His friend Wade had been boarding them for him while he was on the road competing. The other outbuildings held his equipment. The property had one fenced-in pasture and plenty of land for any number of operations.
Lately, he’d been thinking about opening a training facility for young bull riders. But he wasn’t sure if he should. Just because he had the property to train kids didn’t mean he had the ability to teach. Maybe he’d be better off breeding horses. He certainly wasn’t running a cow-calf operation like their friend Clint. Which reminded him...he hadn’t talked to Marshall in a while. He’d better call him soon.
After shutting the barn door, Nash went back into the house. A pang of regret hit him every time he entered. Before moving back, the last time he’d been inside had been the day he’d bought it as a surprise for Amy. An engagement present. He’d been planning on proposing to her the next week. Then his mother, once again, had destroyed his life.
The diamond ring still sat in its box in his top drawer. He really should sell it.
Like he ever would.
He checked on Ruby, asleep and curled up in a tight ball like a dog afraid of getting kicked. He kissed her soft cheek before going to the kitchen. The company he’d hired to paint and decorate the house had done a good job. He’d given them free rein and a blank check. Just told them to make it feel like a family lived there and to make sure Ruby’s room was fit for a princess. If only money could fix all of his problems, but the millions in the bank couldn’t win Ruby’s trust or buy Amy’s forgiveness.
Amy was going to say no to helping Ruby. And while her refusal would be best for him, it definitely was not best for Ruby.
The girl hid apples and packages of crackers under her pillow and in her closet. He’d found cookies in her shoe. The therapist had warned him it might take a while for her to believe she’d always have enough to eat. Whenever he found food, he was supposed to gently remind her she was safe with him and he would always provide for her.
He sat on one of the bar stools at the island, dropping his forehead into his hands. The enormity of the situation threatened to overcome him.
I’m not qualified for this. What if she always hoards food and wakes up screaming? What if she never smiles? Is too scared to go to school? What if she’s been damaged beyond repair?
He raised his head toward the ceiling.
God, I need You.
Ruby had no one but him.
He’d handle it. He had to.
* * *
Amy girded her shoulders and entered the church at 6:55 pm. She’d spent the past twenty-four hours talking to her mom, her best friend, Lexi Romine, and the Lord. Lexi and Mom thought she should decline being Ruby’s mentor. The Lord, it seemed, had other plans.
Every time she prayed, she kept coming back to Isaiah 6:8: “Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.” She’d prayed for so long to help a child. How many times had she thought Here am I, Lord. Send me?
And now that the opportunity was here, she couldn’t justify turning it down. Every time she tried, her argument fell flat. She kept thinking of the Old Testament story about Joseph. If Joseph could forgive his brothers for selling him into slavery and then provide for them so their families didn’t starve, couldn’t she move past her issues with Nash to help Ruby?
Maybe this was her cross to bear.
But could she bear it?
With her back straight and head high, she strode to the preschool room. This wasn’t for Nash. It was for Ruby.
Maybe Nash didn’t keep his promises, but she kept hers. She’d promised the Lord she would do His will.
She believed this was His will.
After entering the room, she halted at the sight of Ruby on Nash’s lap. The child held a stuffed sheep in the air and was pretending to make it dance. She wasn’t smiling, but the fact she was playing was a good sign.
“Hello, Ruby.” She waved. “Who is this sheep? He’s quite the dancer.”
She immediately clutched the animal to her tummy like a wild rabbit stilling at the first hint of danger.
Nash took the sheep out of Ruby’s hand. “I think this is Sheldon. Sheldon the sheep. Is that right, RuRu?”
She turned to see his face. A hint of a smile lifted her lips, and she nodded.
“Or it could be Samantha.” Amy slowly approached them, trying to be as non-threatening as possible. “Are you sure it’s a boy?”
He flipped the sheep over twice then sniffed its head. “It smells like a boy. It’s not all flowery like a girl.” He held it up for Ruby to smell. She took a sniff. “What do you think?”
“Boy,” she said.
“Well, it is very nice to meet you, Sheldon.” Amy held her hand out and pretended to shake the animal’s paw. “Would he like to sit on your lap while we read a book?”
Ruby didn’t respond.
“Should we try another Curious George? See what trouble that silly monkey gets into today?”
Amy selected a book and folded her long legs to sit in the beanbag, grunting as she sank the final inches. Ruby brought the stuffed animal over. She didn’t sit, though.
“Stay?” Ruby asked Nash, her gaze full of worry.
“I’d hate to miss the story.” He folded his legs to sit cross-legged on the carpet. The process looked painful. Ruby, clutching Sheldon, settled on his lap, and he tickled her side.
“Daddy!” She giggled and squirmed. Nash stopped teasing her, kissing the top of her head instead.
Daddy? Amy ignored the pitter-patter of her heart at the sight of Nash in such a paternal role. Maybe if she and Ruby met privately, the arrangement would work. They could make cookies and color. They could go to the library and check out books or stop into The Beanery for hot chocolates.
If she was going to be part of Ruby’s life, it had to be on her terms. And that meant spending time alone with Ruby. No Nash allowed.
After reading two books, she asked Ruby if she wanted to pretend to bake a cake. Ruby followed her to the play kitchen, and Nash declared he’d be back in a few minutes. He had to speak to the pastor. As soon as Nash left, Ruby became expressionless, the way she’d been in the hallway yesterday.
“First we need flour and sugar.” Amy pointed to the fake boxes of food. “Can you find them?”
She stood with her arms glued to her sides. Okay. Amy grabbed a box and pretended to pour it into a plastic bowl. “Mmm... I love cake batter. Here’s some butter. Throw it in.” She handed plastic butter to Ruby, who let it fall into the bowl.
“And eggs. My cakes always have eggs. Let’s crack them.” Amy tapped the plastic egg against the table and pretended to drop it in. Ruby ignored the egg in front of her. “We’re ready to mix.” She found the plastic hand-mixer and gave it to the girl. “Give it a good stir.”
She obeyed, but Amy got the impression she was merely going through the motions, that she wasn’t enjoying herself.
Hannah and Daniel entered. “Hello, you two. Ruby, would you mind staying here with Daniel and me while Amy talks to your dad for a minute?”
Ruby just stared at her.
“I won’t be long.” Amy found Sheldon and gave him to Ruby. “Here. Make sure this sheep doesn’t get into any trouble.” Although she hated leaving her, she went to the meeting room.
“Well, I trust you’ve both had time to pray about the situation.” Pastor Moore waited for her to sit. Nash was in the same spot as yesterday. “What do you think?”
She considered for a moment. The previous twenty minutes solidified her opinion. With patience and a woman’s touch, Ruby had a better chance at coming out of her shell. And Amy wanted to be that woman.
“I would like to spend more time with Ruby.” Amy watched Nash. He jerked to attention. “But I don’t know if you’ll be comfortable with my suggestion.”
His eyes darkened. “What is it?”
“Would you be okay with me spending time with Ruby alone? I’d love to show her around my studio, take her to the library, that sort of thing.”
He bowed his head. “I’m not sure.”
“I don’t know if I can agree if it’s going to be the three of us all the time. It’s a bit intimate given our history.”
He blew out a breath. “I understand. Really, I do. I’m thinking about Ruby. I know you’d be good for her, and frankly, I’d prefer she spend time alone with you. But she’s going through a lot. What do you think, Pastor?”
He’d prefer not to be around her, either? Why the words hurt, she didn’t know. It’s not as if the past ten years hadn’t proven the fact.
“I think you should follow your instincts, Nash.” The pastor addressed Amy. “Ruby is afraid of strangers. It will take time for her to get used to you. She might need Nash with her until she’s comfortable.”
Amy swallowed the sour taste in her mouth. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know the pastor had a point, but she was already going out on a limb by agreeing to this. Couldn’t they cut her a break?
“I guess we could do a trial run,” she said. “Say, a few afternoons next week and see how it goes? If we aren’t feeling it, we’ll go our separate ways.”
“Works for me,” Nash said gruffly.
Pastor Moore stood. “I’m here if either of you need to talk or have additional concerns. Feel free to call. Why don’t I let you two work out the details of next week?” He left the room, and the air felt charged as soon as he was gone.
With no idea what to say, she fixed her gaze on the map of ancient Israel hanging on the wall. Nash remained silent, as well.
“How weird is this for you?” Amy finally asked him.
“Really weird.” His throat worked.
“Gives me a new appreciation for what divorced parents must go through. Coming up with a visitation schedule, figuring out drop-offs and all that.”
“Except we were never divorced,” he said. “Or married.”
The words hurt, she couldn’t deny it, but Nash seemed unsure of himself, and Amy had never seen this side of him. He’d always been quick with a joke and oh, so confident.
He massaged the back of his neck. “Sorry... Thank you for agreeing to help Ruby. I know you don’t want details, but what I did back then was unforgivable. I at least want you to know I hated leaving you.”
Then why did you?
She didn’t want to know.
“It was a long time ago.” She waved the apology off like a pesky fly. “Which days work best for you?”
Storm clouds brewed in his eyes, but he accepted the change in subject. “Any you have free. I have nothing going on.”
“So you really retired?”
“I did.”
She wanted to ask what he planned to do next, but she stopped herself. She didn’t need personal information from him. She’d stick to business—to Ruby. Which reminded her...a few things had been niggling in her mind.
“Does Ruby know you aren’t her father?”
“Yes. I explained I’m her much bigger brother. It took several supervised visits at her foster home before she’d even speak to me.”
“But she calls you Daddy.”
He shrugged, a smile briefly lighting his face. “When I told her she was going to live with me, I asked her what she wanted to call me. She said, ‘How long am I going to live with you?’ I told her forever. She replied, ‘Daddy.’ I tell you, my heart melted into a puddle right there on the linoleum floor of the courthouse.”
Amy’s heart was growing squishy, too, and that wouldn’t do. Remember the days after he left? How you sat by the phone hoping he’d call? And don’t forget how awful it was to read about him winning the event in Houston. Going on with his life as if you’d never meant a thing to him.
“Yes, well, that’s good.” She reached into her purse for her planner. Opening it, she scanned the next week’s schedule. “Why don’t we do Tuesday and Thursday, say, three o’clock? You can bring her to my apartment. It’s above Amy’s Quilt Shop. Just go around the back and up the stairs. I have a studio I think she’ll enjoy.”
All the brightly colored fabrics, the work tables, sewing machines and art supplies were sure to please the girl. She’d plan a few simple crafts for them to do.
“You don’t have to work at three?” He frowned.
“No, I hired a high school girl to work afternoons.”
“Tuesday and Thursday then. Listen, Ruby is shy around...well, everyone. She might have a hard time being in a strange place without me.”
“You could go to The Beanery after you drop her off. If she gets upset, we’ll join you and get a hot cocoa or something.”
“That might work.” His face cleared, and his shoulders relaxed. “Does this mean you’ll make a final decision next week?”
“Do you really want me to spend time with Ruby? Or do you feel cornered into it?”
“I want Ruby to trust other people. I mean, she’ll be going to school soon, and I don’t want her scared of her teachers. Would it be easier on me if someone else was her mentor? Yeah. But I’m grateful you’re willing to try. She needs more than I alone can give her.”
So having a different mentor would be easier on him, huh? She bit back a nasty retort. The insecurity in his eyes pacified her irritation. Her decision wasn’t about Nash anyway. It was about trusting God even when the circumstances didn’t make sense. She’d always wondered if she would step up and take care of an enemy if put into the position of being a Good Samaritan.