Soldiers Three - Part 2

“‘So that’s it,’ I sez, shakin’ him again. ‘That’s th manin’ av your disobeyin’ ordhers.’

“‘I dare not kill meself,’ he sez, rockin’ to and fro. ‘My own hand wud not let me die, and there’s not a bullet this month past wud touch me. I’m to die slow,’ he sez. ‘I’m to die slow. But I’m in hell now,’ he sez, shriekin’ like a woman. ‘I’m in hell now!’

“‘God be good to us all,’ I sez, for I saw his face. ‘Will ye tell a man the throuble. If ‘tis not murder, maybe we’ll mend it yet.’

“At that he laughed. ‘D’you remimber fwhat I said in the Tyrone barricks about comin’ to you for ghostly consolation. I have not forgot,’ he sez. ‘That came back, an’ the rest av my time is on me now, Terence. I’ve fought ut off for months an’ months, but the liquor will not bite any more, Terence,’ he sez. ‘I can’t get dhrunk.’

“Thin I knew he spoke the truth about bein’ in hell, for whin liquor does not take hould, the sowl av a man is rotten in him. But me bein’ such as I was, fwhat could I say to him?

“‘Di’monds an’ pearls,’ he begins again. ‘Di’monds and pearls I have thrown away wid both hands — an’ fwhat have I left? Oh, fwhat have I left?’

“He was shakin’ an’ thremblin’ up against my shouldher, an’ the slugs was singin’ overhead, an’ I was wonderin’ whether my little bhoy wud have sinse enough to kape his men quiet through all this firin’.

“‘So long as I did not think,’ sez Love-o’-Women, ‘so long I did not see — I wud not see — but I can now, what I’ve lost. The time an’ the place,’ he sez, ‘an’ the very words I said whin ut pleased me to go off alone to hell. But thin, even thin,’ he sez, wrigglin’ tremenjus, ‘I wud not ha’ been happy. There was too much behind av me. How cud I ha’ believed her sworn oath — me that have bruk mine again an’ again for the sport av seein’ thim cry. An’ there are the others,’ he sez. ‘Oh, what will I do — what will I do’?’ He rocked back an’ forward again, an’ I think he was cryin’ like wan av the women he dealt wid.

“The full half av fwhat he said was Brigade Ordhers to me, but from the rest an’ the remnint I suspicioned somethin’ av his throuble. ‘Twas the judgmint av God had grup the heel av him, as I tould him ‘twould in the Tyrone barricks. The slugs was singin’ over our rock more an’ more, an’ I sez for to divart him: ‘Let bad alone,’ I sez. ‘They’ll be thryin’ to rush the camp in a minut’.’

“I had no more than said that whin a Paythan man crep’ up on his belly wid his knife betune his teeth, not twinty yards from us. Love-o’-Women jumped up an’ fetched a yell, an’ the man saw him an’ ran at him (he’d left his rifle under the rock) wid the knife. Love-o’-Women niver turned a hair, but by the Living Power, for I saw ut, a stone twisted under the Paythan man’s feet an’ he came down full sprawl, an’ his knife wint tinklin’ acrost the rocks! ‘I tould you I was Cain,’ sez Love-o’-Women.’ ‘Fwhat’s the use av killin’ him? He’s an honest man — by compare.’

“I was not dishputin’ about the morils av Paythans that tide, so I dhropped Love-o’-Women’s burt acrost the man’s face, an’ ‘Hurry into camp,’ I sez, ‘for this may be the first av a rush.’

“There was no rush afther all, though we waited undher arms to give thim a chanst. The Paythan man must ha’ come alone for the mischief, an’ afther a while Love-o’-Women wint back to his tint wid that quare lurchin’ sind-off in his walk that I cud niver undherstand. Begad, I pitied him, an’ the more bekaze he made me think for the rest av the night av the day whin I was confirmed Corp’ril, not actin’ Lef’tenant, an’ my thoughts was not good.

“Ye can undherstand that afther that night we came to talkin’ a dale together, an’ bit by bit ut came out fwhat I’d suspicioned. The whole av his carr’in’s on an’ divilmints had come back on him hard as liquor comes back whin you’ve been on the dhrink for a wake. All he’d said an’ all he’d done, an’ only he cud tell how much that was, come back, an’ there was niver a minut’s peace in his sowl. ‘Twas the Horrors widout any cause to see, an’ yet, an’ yet — fwhat am I talkin’ av? He’d ha’ taken the Horrors wid thankfulness. Beyon’ the repentince av the man, an’ that was beyon’ the natur av man — awful, awful, to behould! — there was more that was worst than any repentince. Av the scores an’ scores that he called over in his mind (an’ they were dhrivin’ him mad), there was, mark you, wan woman av all, an’ she was not his wife, that cut him to the quick av his marrow. ‘Twas there he said that he’d thrown away di’monds an’ pearls past count, an’ thin he’d begin again like a blind byle in an oil-mill, walkin’ round an’ round, to considher (him that was beyond all touch av being happy this side hell!) how happy he wud ha’ been wid her. The more he considhered, the more he’d consate himself that he’d lost mighty happiness, an’ thin he wud work ut all backwards, an’ cry that he niver cud ha’ been happy anyways.

“Time an’ time an’ again in camp, on p’rade, ay, an’ in action, I’ve seen that man shut his eyes an’ duck his head as you wud duck to the flicker av a bay’nit. For ‘twas thin he tould me that the thought av all he’d missed came an’ stud forninst him like red-hot irons. For what he’d done wid the others he was sorry, but he did not care; but this wan woman that I’ve tould of, by the Hilts av God she made him pay for all the others twice over! Niver did I know that a man cud enjure such tormint widout his heart crackin’ in his ribs, an’ I have been” — Terence turned the pipe-stem slowly between his teeth — “I have been in some black cells. All I iver suffered tho’ was not to be talked of alongside av him... an’ what could I do? Paternosters was no more than peas for his sorrow.

“Evenshually we finished our prom’nade acrost the hills, and thanks to me for the same, there was no casualties an’ no glory. The campaign was comin’ to an ind, an’ all the rig’mints was bein’ drawn together for to be sint back home. Love-o’-Women was mighty sorry bekaze he had no work to do, an’ all his time to think in. I’ve heard that man talkin’ to his belt-plate an’ his side-arms while he was soldierin’ thim, all to prevint himself from thinkin’, an’ ivry time he got up afther he had been settin’ down or wint on from the halt, he’d start wid that kick an’ traverse that I tould you of — his legs sprawlin’ all ways to wanst. He wud niver go see the docthor, tho’ I tould him to be wise. He’d curse me up an’ down for my advice; but I knew he was no more a man to be reckoned wid than the little bhoy was a commandin’ orf’cer, so I let his tongue run if it aised him.

“Wan day — ‘twas on the way back — I was walkin’ round camp wid him, an’ he stopped an’ struck ground wid his right fut three or four times doubtful. ‘Fwhat is ut?’ I sez. ‘Is that ground?’ sez he; an’ while I was thinkin’ his mind was goin’, up comes the docthor, who’d been anatomisin’ a dead bullock. Love-o’-Women starts to go on quick, an’ lands me a kick on the knee while his legs was gettin’ into marchin’ ordher.

“Hould on there,’ sez the docthor; an’ Love-o’-Women’s face, that was lined like a gridiron, turns red as brick.

“‘Tention,’ says the docthor; an’ Love-o’-Women stud so. ‘Now shut your eyes,’ sez the docthor. ‘No, ye must not hould by your comrade.’

“‘Tis all up,’ sez Love-o’-Women, trying to smile. ‘I’d fall, docthor, an’ you know ut.’

“‘Fall?’ I sez. ‘Fall at attention wid your eyes shut! Fwhat do you mane?’

“The docthor knows,’ he sez. ‘I’ve hild up as long as I can, but begad I’m glad ‘tis all done. But I will die slow,’ he sez, ‘I will die very slow.’

“I cud see by the docthor’s face that he was mortial sorry for the man, an’ he ordhered him to hospital. We wint back together, an’ I was dumbstruck; Love-o’-Women was cripplin’ and crumblin’ at ivry step. He walked wid a hand on my shoulder all slued sideways, an’ his right leg swingin’ like a lame camel. Me not knowin’ more than the dead fwhat ailed him, ‘twas just as though the docthor’s word had done ut all — as if Love-o’-Women had but been waitin’ for the ordher to let go.

“In hospital he sez somethin’ to the docthor that I could not catch.

“‘Holy shmoke!’ sez the docthor, ‘an’ who are you to be givin’ names to your diseases? ‘Tis ag’in’ all the regulations.’

“‘I’ll not be a privit much longer,’ sez Love-o’-Women in his gentleman’s voice, an’ the docthor jumped.

“‘Thrate me as a study, Docthor Lowndes,’ he sez; an’ that was the first time I’d iver heard a docthor called his name.

“‘Good-bye, Terence,’ sez Love-o’-Women. ‘’Tis a dead man I am widout the pleasure av dyin’. You’ll come an’ set wid me sometimes for the peace av my soul.’

“Now I had been minded to ask Cruik to take me back to the Ould Rig’mint, for the fightin’ was over, an’ I was wore out wid the ways av the bhoys in the Tyrone; but I shifted my will, an’ hild on, an’ wint to set wid Love-o’-Women in the hospital. As I have said, Sorr, the man bruk all to little pieces undher my hand. How long he had hild up an’ forced himself fit to march I cannot tell, but in hospital but two days later he was such as I hardly knew. I shuk hands wid him, an’ his grip was fair strong, but his hands wint all ways to wanst, an’ he cud not button his tunic.

“‘I’ll take long an’ long to die yet,’ he sez, ‘for the ways av sin they’re like interest in the rig’mintal savin’s-bank — sure, but a damned long time bein’ paid.’

“The docthor sez to me quiet one day, ‘Has Tighe there anythin’ on his mind?’ he sez. ‘He’s burnin’ himself out.’

“‘How shud I know, Sorr?’ I sez, as innocent as putty.

“They call him Love-o’-Women in the Tyrone, do they not?’ he sez. ‘I was a fool to ask. Be wid him all you can. He’s houldin’ on to your strength.’

“‘But what ails him, docthor,’ I sez.

“‘They call ut Locomotus attacks us,’ he sez, ‘bekaze,’ sez he, ‘ut attacks us like a locomotive, if ye know fwhat that manes. An’ ut comes,’ sez he, lookin’ at me, ‘ut comes from bein’ called Love-o’-Women.’

“‘You’re jokin’, docthor,’ I sez.

“‘Jokin’!’ sez he. ‘If iver you feel that you’ve got a felt sole in your boot instead av a Government bull’s-wool, come to me,’ he sez, ‘an’ I’ll show you whether ‘tis a joke.’

“You would not belave ut, Sorr, but that an’ seein’ Love-o’-Women overtuk widout warnin’ put the cowld fear av attacks us on me so strong that for a week an’ more I was kickin’ my toes against stones an’ stumps for the pleasure av feelin’ them hurt.

“An’ Love-o’-Women lay in the cot (he might have gone down wid the wounded before an’ before, but he asked to stay wid me), and fwhat there was in his mind had full swing at him night an’ day an’ ivry hour av the day an’ the night, an’ he withered like beef rations in a hot sun, an’ his eyes was like owls’ eyes, an’ his hands was mut’nous.

“They was gettin’ the rig’mints away wan by wan, the campaign bein’ inded, but as ushuil they was behavin’ as if niver a rig’mint had been moved before in the mem’ry av man. Now, fwhy is that, Sorr? There’s fightin’ in an’ out nine months av the twelve somewhere in the Army. There has been — for years an’ years an’ years, an’ I wud ha’ thought they’d begin to get the hang av providin’ for throops. But no! Ivry time it’s like a girls’ school meetin’ a big red bull whin they’re goin’ to church; an’ ‘Mother av God,’ sez the Commissariat an’ the railways an’ the Barrick-masters, ‘fwhat will we do now?’ The ordhers came to us av the Tyrone an’ the Ould Rig’mint an’ half a dozen more to go down, and there the ordhers stopped dumb. We wint down, by the special grace av God — down the Khaiber anyways. There was sick wid us, an’ I’m thinkin’ that some av them was jolted to death in the doolies, but they was anxious to be kilt so if they cud get to Peshawur alive the sooner. I walked by Love-o’-Women — there was no marchin’, an’ Love-o’-Women was not in a stew to get on. ‘If I’d only ha’ died up there!’ sez he through the doolie-curtains, an’ then he’d twist up his eyes an’ duck his head for the thoughts that came to him.

“Dinah was in Depot at Pindi, but I wint circumspectuous, for well I knew ‘tis just at the rump-ind av all things that his luck turns on a man. By token I ad seen a dhriver of a batthery goin’ by at a trot singin’ ‘Home, swate home’ at the top av his shout, and takin’ no heed o his bridle-hand — I had seen that man dhrop under the gun in the middle of a word, and come out by the limber like — like a frog on a pave-stone. No. I wud not hurry, though, God knows, my heart was all in Pindi. Love-o’-Women saw fwhat was in my mind, an’ ‘Go on, Terence,’ h sez, ‘I know fwhat’s waitin’ for you.’ ‘I will not,’ I sez. ‘’Twill kape a little yet.’

“Ye know the turn of the pass forninst Jumrood and the nine mile road on the flat to Peshawur? All Peshawur was along that road day and night waitin’ for frinds — men, women, childer, and bands. Some av the throops was camped round Jumrood, an’ some went on to Peshawur to get away down to their cantonmints. We came through in the early mornin’, havin’ been awake the night through, and we dhruv sheer into the middle av the mess. Mother av Glory, will I ever forget that comin’ back? The light was not fair lifted, and the furst we heard was ‘For ‘tis my delight av a shiny night,’ frum a band that thought we was the second four comp’nies av the Lincolnshire. At that we was forced to sind them a yell to say who we was, an’ thin up wint ‘The wearin’ av the Green.’ It made me crawl all up my backbone, not havin’ taken my brequist. Thin, right smash into our rear, came fwhat was left av the Jock Elliotts — wid four pipers an’ not half a kilt among thim, playin’ for the dear life, an’ swingin’ their rumps like buck rabbits, an’ a native rig’mint shrieking blue murther. Ye niver heard the like. There was men cryin’ like women that did — an’ faith I do not blame thim. Fwhat bruk me down was the Lancers’ Band — shinin’ an’ spick like angels, wid the ould dhrum-horse at the head an’ the silver kettle-dhrums an’ all an’ all, waitin’ for their men that was behind us. They shtruck up the Cavalry Canter, an’, begad, those poor ghosts that had not a sound fut in a throop they answered to ut, the men rockin’ in their saddles. We thried to cheer them as they wint by, but ut came out like a big gruntin’ cough, so there must have been many that was feelin’ like me. Oh, but I’m forgettin’! The Fly-by-Nights was waitin’ for their second battalion, an’ whin ut came out, there was the Colonel’s horse led at the head — saddle-empty. The men fair worshipped him, an’ he’d died at Au Musjid on the road down. They waited till the remnint av the battalion was up, and thin — clane against ordhers, for who wanted that chune that day? — they wint back to Peshawur slow-time an’ tearin’ the bowils out av ivry man that heard, wid ‘The Dead March.’ Right across our line they wint, an’ ye know their uniforms are as black as the Sweeps, crawlin’ past like the dead, an’ the other bands damnin’ them to let be.

“Little they cared. The carpse was wid them, an’ they’d ha’ taken ut so through a Coronation. Our ordhers was to go into Peshawur, an’ we wint hot-fut past the Fly-by-Nights, not singin’, to lave that chune behind us. That was how we tuk the road of the other corps.

“‘Twas ringin’ in my ears still whin I felt in the bones of me that Dinah was comin’, an’ I heard a shout, an’ thin I saw a horse an’ a tattoo latherin’ down the road, hell to shplit, under women. I knew — I knew! Wan was the Tyrone Colonel’s wife — ould Beeker’s lady — her gray hair flyin’ an’ her fat round carkiss rowlin’ in the saddle, an’ the other was Dinah, that shud ha’ been at Pindi. The Colonel’s lady she charged at the head av our column like a stone wall, an’ she all but knocked Beeker off his horse throwin’ her arms round his neck an’ blubberin’, ‘Me bhoy! Me bhoy!’ an’ Dinah wheeled left an’ came down our flank, an’ I let a yell that had suffered inside av me for months, and — Dinah came. Will I iver forget that while I live! She’d come on pass from Pindi, an’ the Colonel’s lady had lint her the tattoo. They’d been huggin’ an’ cryin’ in each other’s arms all the long night.

“So she walked along wid her hand in mine, askin’ forty questions to wanst, an’ beggin’ me on the Virgin to make oath that there was not a bullet consaled in me, unbeknownst somewhere, an’ thin I remimbered Love-o’-Women. He was watchin’ us, an’ his face was like the face av a divil that has been cooked too long. I did not wish Dinah to see ut, for whin a woman’s runnin’ over wid happiness she’s like to be touched, for harm aftherwards, by the laste little thing in life. So I dhrew the curtain, an’ Love-o’-Women lay back and groaned.

“Whin we marched into Peshawur, Dinah wint to barracks to wait for me, an’ me feelin’ so rich that tide, I wint on to take Love-o’-Women to hospital. It was the last I cud do, an’ to save him the dust an’ the smother I turned the doolie-men down a road well clear av the rest av the throops, an we wint along, me talkin’ through the curtains. Av a sudden I heard him say: —

“‘Let me look. For the Mercy av Hiven, let me look!’ I had been so tuk up wid gettin’ him out av the dust and thinkin’ of Dinah that I had not kept my eyes about me. There was a woman ridin’ a little behind av us, an’, talkin’ ut over wid Dinah aftherwards, that same woman must ha’ rid not far on the Jumrood road. Dinah said that she had been hoverin’ like a kite on the left flank av the column.

“I halted the doolie to set the curtains, an’ she rode by walkin’-pace, an’ Love-o’-Women’s eyes wint afther her as if he would fair haul her down from the saddle.

“‘Follow there,’ was all he sez, but I niver heard a man spake in that voice before or since, an’ I knew by those two wan words an’ the look in his face that she was Di’monds-an’-Pearls that he’d talked av in his disthresses.

“We followed till she turned into the gate av a little house that stud near the Edwardes’s Gate. There was two girls in the verandah, an’ they ran in whin they saw us. Faith, at long eye-range ut did not take me a wink to see fwhat kind av house ut was. The throops bein’ there an’ all, there was three or four such, but aftherwards the polis bade them go. At the verandah Love-o’-Women sez, catchin’ his breath, ‘Stop here,’ an’ thin, an’ thin, wid a grunt that must ha’ tore the heart up from his stomach, he swung himself out av the doolie, an’ my troth he stud up on his feet wid the sweat pourin’ down his face. If Mackie was to walk in here now I’d be less tuk back than I was thin. Where he’d dhrawn his power from, God knows or the divil — but ‘t was a dead man walkin’ in the sun wid the face av a dead man and the breath av a dead man held up by the Power, an’ the legs an’ the arms of the carpse obeyin’ ordhers!

“The woman stud in the verandah. She’d been a beauty too, though her eyes was sunk in her head, an’ she looked Love-o’-Women up an’ down terrible. ‘An’,’ she sez, kickin’ back the tail av her habit, — ‘An’,’ she sez, ‘fwhat are you doin’ here, married man?’

“Love-o’-Women said nothin’, but a little froth came to his lips, an’ he wiped ut off wid his hand an’ looked at her an’ the paint on her, an’ looked, an’ looked, an’ looked.

“‘An’ yet,’ she sez, wid a laugh. (Did you hear Mrs. Raines laugh whin Mackie died? Ye did not? Well for you.) ‘An’ yet,’ she sez, ‘who but you have betther right,’ sez she. ‘You taught me the road. You showed me the way,’ she sez. ‘Ay, look,’ she sez, ‘for ‘tis your work; you that tould me — d’you remimber it? — that a woman who was false to wan man cud be false to two. I have been that,’ she sez, ‘that an’ more, for you always said I was a quick learner, Ellis. Look well,’ she sez, ‘for it is me that you called your wife in the sight av God long since!’ An’ she laughed.

“Love-o’-Women stud still in the sun widout answerin’. Thin he groaned an’ coughed to wanst, an’ I thought ‘twas the death-rattle, but he niver tuk his eyes off her face not for a wink. Ye cud ha’ put her eyelashes through the flies av an E. P. tent, they were so long.

“‘Fwhat do you do here?’ she sez, word by word, ‘that have taken away my joy in my man this five years gone — that have broken my rest an’ killed my body an’ damned my soul for the sake av seem’ how ‘twas done? Did your expayrience aftherwards bring you acrost any woman that gave more than I did? Wud I not ha’ died for you an’ wid you, Ellis? Ye know that, man! If ever your lyin’ sowl saw truth in uts life ye know that.’

“An’ Love-o’-Women lifted up his head and said, ‘I knew,’ an’ that was all. While she was spakin’ the Power hild him up parade-set in the ‘sun, an the sweat dhropped undher his helmet. ‘Twas more an’ more throuble for him to talk, an’ his mouth was runnin’ twistways.

“Fwhat do you do here?’ she sez, an’ her voice whit up. ‘Twas like bells tollin’ before. ‘Time was whin you were quick enough wid your words, — you that talked me down to hell. Are ye dumb now?’ An’ Love-o’-W omen got his tongue, an’ sez simple, like a little child, ‘May I come in?’ he sez.

“The house is open day an’ night,’ she sez, wid a laugh; an’ Love-o’-Women ducked his head an’ hild up his hand as tho’ he was gyardin’. The Power was on him still — it hild him up still, for, by my sowl, as I’ll never save ut, he walked up the verandah steps that had been a livin’ corpse in hospital for a month!

“‘An’ now’?’ she sez, lookin’ at him; an’ the red paint stud lone on the white av her face like a bull’s-eye on a target.

“He lifted up his eyes, slow an’ very slow, an’ he looked at her long an’ very long, an’ he tuk his spache betune his teeth wid a wrench that shuk him.

“‘I’m dyin’, Aigypt — dyin’,’ he sez; ay, those were his words, for I remimber the name he called her. He was turnin’ the death-colour, but his eyes niver rowled. They were set — set on her. Widout word or warnin’ she opened her arms full stretch, an’ ‘Here!’ she sez. (Oh, fwhat a golden mericle av a voice ut was!) ‘Die here,’ she sez; an’ Love-o’-Women dhropped forward, an’ she hild him up, for she was a fine big woman.

“I had no time to turn, bekaze that minut I heard the sowl quit him — tore out in the death-rattle — an’ she laid him back in a long chair, an’ she sez to me, ‘Misther soldier,’ she sez, ‘will ye not go in an’ talk to wan av the girls. This sun’s too much for him.’

“Well I knew there was no sun he’d iver see, but I cud not spake, so I wint away wid the empty doolie to find the docthor. He’d been breakfastin’ an’ lunchin’ ever since we’d come in, an’ he was as full as a tick.

“Faith ye’ve got dhrunk mighty soon,’ he sez, whin I’d tould him, ‘to see that man walk. Barrin’ a puff or two av life, he was a corpse before we left Jumrood. I’ve a great mind,’ he sez, ‘to confine you.’

“There’s a dale av liquor runnin’ about, docthor,’ I sez, solemn as a hard-boiled egg. ‘Maybe ‘tis so, but will ye not come an’ see the corpse at the house?’

“Tis dishgraceful,’ he sez, ‘that I would be expected to go to a place like that. Was she a pretty woman?’’ he sez, an’ at that he set off double quick.

“I cud see that the two was in the verandah were I’d left them, an’ I knew by the hang av her head an’ the noise av the crows fwhat had happened. ‘Twas the first and the last time that I’d ever known woman to use the pistol. They dread the shot as a rule, but Di’monds-an’-Pearls she did not — she did not.

“The docthor touched the long black hair av her head (‘twas all loose upon Love-o’-Women’s chest), an’ that cleared the liquor out av him. He stud considherin’ a long time, his hands in his pockets, an’ at last he sez to me, ‘Here’s a double death from naturil causes, most naturil causes; an’ in the presint state av affairs the rig’mint will be thankful for wan grave the less to dig. Issiwasti,’ he sez, ‘Issiwasti, Privit Mulvaney, these two will be buried together in the Civil Cemet’ry at my expinse, an’ may the good God,’ he sez, ‘make it SO much for me whin my time comes. Go to your wife,’ he sez; ‘go an’ be happy. I’ll see to this all.’

“I left him still considherin’. They was buried in the Civil Cemet’ry together, wid a Church of England service. There was too many buryin’s thin to ask questions, an’ the docthor — he ran away wid Major — Major Van Dyce’s lady that year — he saw to ut all. Fwhat the right an’ the wrong av Love-o’-Women an’ Di’monds-an’-Pearls was I niver knew, an’ I will niver know; but I’ve tould ut as I came acrost ut — here an’ there in little pieces. So, being fwhat I am, an’ knowin’ fwhat I know, that’s fwhy I say in this shootin’-case here, Mackie that’s dead an’ in hell is the lucky man. There are times, Sorr, whin ‘tis betther for the man to die than to live, an’ by consequince forty million times betther for the woman.”