The Doctor's Not-So-Little Secret

“Kate.”

She turned to find Joel staring. Somehow, without her quite realizing how it had happened, she’d moved closer to him—or maybe he’d moved closer to her—while they’d been singing.

Her gaze met his. For a moment he didn’t speak and time seemed to stretch and extend.

“Thank you,” she stammered. “That was beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful,” he said in a husky voice that made her blood flow like warm honey through her veins.

His fingers weren’t quite steady as they touched the curve of her cheek, then trailed along the side of her jaw as he leaned toward her.

He’s going to kiss me. He’s going to kiss me. He’s going to kiss me.

Dear Reader,

In every book an author has opportunities to incorporate bits and pieces from their life. In The Doctor’s Not-So-Little Secret, Kate had a sister who was the family’s “golden child.” I don’t have a sister, but I had a friend who was in the same situation as Kate. She still struggles with feeling second best.

Then there’s Chloe’s Cabbage Patch Kid. I vividly remember standing outside the local JCPenney store waiting for the doors to open, hoping for a chance to snag one of those coveted dolls.

I wish I could say I’m fabulous on the ice. The truth is I’m closer to Joel’s talent level than Kate’s. I consider it a good ice skating session if I spend more time standing up than falling down.

And as far as what goes on when a couple is alone in the dark on an observation tower … no comment.

Cindy Kirk

CINDY KIRK has loved to read for as long as she can remember. In first grade she received an award for reading one hundred books. Growing up, summers were her favorite time of year. Nothing beat going to the library, then coming home and curling up in front of the window air conditioner with a good book. Often the novels she read would spur ideas, and she’d make up her own story (always with a happy ending). When she’d go to bed at night, instead of counting sheep, she’d make up more stories in her head. Since selling her first story, Cindy has been forced to juggle her love of reading with her passion for creating stories of her own … but she doesn’t mind. Writing for Mills & Boon® Cherish™ is a dream come true. She only hopes you have as much fun reading her books as she has writing them!

Cindy invites you to visit her website at www.cindykirk.com.

The Doctor’s

Not-So-Little

Secret

Cindy Kirk

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Patience Bloom—You’re the best editor around,

and I’m thankful you’re mine!

Chapter One

Dr. Kate McNeal sat back in her seat by the front window of Jackson Hole’s newest coffee shop, enjoying her cappuccino. It was Saturday and, thanks to a very generous on-call rotation schedule at the pediatrics clinic, she had the whole weekend off.

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go could be her motto. Kate sighed and took another sip. Although she’d been in Jackson Hole for almost two years, she had no close friends. Oh, she had tons of social buddies, men and women who invited her to their parties and other events. But no one she felt comfortable calling up on a Saturday morning and asking, “Hey, do you want to grab a scone and then do some shopping?”

Part of the problem was that most of the women she knew had husbands and children. Once she’d reached her early thirties, Kate had discovered there weren’t many women left in the single, never-married category. But she couldn’t blame her current loneliness all on her marital status.

As a child, Kate had been painfully shy. While in her professional life she did fine, shyness was still a struggle in social settings. Worse yet, her reticence often led to her being labeled “aloof” or “standoffish” by those who didn’t know her well.

She smoothed the skirt of the buttercup-yellow dress she’d purchased last week. Even though most of the coffee shop patrons were wearing jeans or shorts with a casual shirt, Kate liked to dress up. Wearing pretty things made her feel pretty, a feeling that had been in short supply during her growing-up years. Unlike her sister, Andrea, who everyone still raved over, it had taken years for Kate’s lanky body to develop a few curves and for her teeth to not look too large for her face.

Back in her early twenties, when she was finally reaching out and becoming the woman she was meant to be, her world had fallen apart. Her grandmother had died. Her boyfriend had deserted her. And she’d had to make a decision no woman should ever have to make … alone. A decision she now lived with every day of her life.

Kate choked down the last bite of lemon-curd scone and gazed out the window, wondering if some shopping therapy would help get her out of this funk.

She was ready to give it a try when she saw Joel Dennes heading toward Hill of Beans, his nine-year-old daughter, Chloe, in tow. Even though she told herself to look away, Kate couldn’t take her eyes off them.

Thankfully Joel didn’t see her staring. Dressed in jeans and a striped cotton shirt that brought out the green in his hazel eyes, the handsome contractor’s entire focus was on his young daughter. Joel was tall—at least six foot two—with a rugged outdoorsy build. His child was petite and slender as a reed with delicate features. From the bag Chloe held, it appeared they’d just come from the dance studio down the street.

So far, on this sunny June morning, Kate had seen at least six little girls walk by with their mothers. All carried the same type of “dancer” bag she’d once owned.

The normally reserved Chloe let out a peal of laughter at something her father said, and his eyes crinkled with good humor as he settled his hand on her shoulder.

From everything she’d heard and seen, Joel had been doing his best to be both mother and father to Chloe since the death of her mom two years ago.

As far as Kate was concerned, such actions spoke volumes about a man’s character. She admired him for stepping up to the plate, admired him a lot.

She shifted in her seat so that her back was to the window, ensuring if they looked her way, she’d simply be a dark-haired woman in a yellow dress.

“Is Joel why you told Ryan you didn’t want to see him anymore?”

Kate shifted her gaze to find Lexi Delacourt standing beside her table, latte in hand, wearing a stylish green-and-brown dress with a short green sweater. Lexi’s dark hair hung loose to her shoulders in a sleek bob. The social worker’s amber-colored eyes held a knowing look as her gaze shifted from Kate to the front door. If the bells jingling were any indication, Joel and his daughter had just entered the coffee shop.

“C’mon, Kate, spill.” Without waiting for an invitation, Lexi took a seat at Kate’s tiny table. “Did you break it off with Ryan because you’ve got a thing for Joel?”

Lexi and her husband were part of the large ensemble of young professionals that Kate considered “social” friends. They held frequent parties and embraced any opportunity to get together.

Kate’s ex-boyfriend, Ryan Harcourt, was part of this group. A former championship bull rider, he had gone on to law school, then returned to his hometown of Jackson to practice. He and Kate had dated until recently when she’d told him she thought it best if they didn’t see each other anymore.

In truth, she’d have been content to continue dating him. He was smart, fun and helped fill those lonely hours when she wasn’t working. But Ryan had begun to push for a physical and emotional closeness that was more than Kate could give.

Because of her past, she found it difficult to be open even with guys she dated. No, especially with guys she dated.

Ryan had given their relationship his all. She’d given it as much as she could, but refused to pretend to have feelings that weren’t there.

“Be honest with me,” Lexi pressed. “Do you like Joel better than Ryan?”

“It’s not that.” Kate took a sip of her cappuccino, stalling for time, considering how much to divulge. She hated discussing her personal life. “Ryan and I were—are—simply friends.”

That much was true.

“His feelings go deeper than friendship.” Lexi’s eyes never left Kate’s face. “I know he really likes you.”

Kate fought a surge of irritation. Coming from Pittsburgh and then doing her residency in Los Angeles, she still hadn’t completely acclimated to living in a small community. Even though Jackson Hole was a thriving tourist destination, it sometimes felt as if everyone knew everyone’s business.

“I realize you and Nick consider Ryan a good friend.” Kate chose her words carefully, not wanting to offend. While she might travel in their social circle, she hung on to the fringe by a fingernail while Ryan was firmly woven into the fabric of the group.

“We consider you a friend, too, Kate.” As if she’d read her mind, the attractive brunette reached over and briefly covered Kate’s hand with hers. “As well as Joel.”

The sincerity in Lexi’s voice touched Kate’s heart. Perhaps she should come clean with the beautiful brunette. After all, it wasn’t as if there was any big secret underlying her relationship and breakup with Ryan.

Not like there would be if I dated Joel.

Kate inhaled sharply. Date Joel? Where had that thought even come from? Joel Dennes was the last person she’d ever consider dating. The.very.last.person.

“I’m sorry,” Lexi said unexpectedly when the silence lengthened, her cheeks now a bright pink. “It’s none of my concern.”

“Ryan is a great guy,” Kate said honestly. “But you’re right. He was looking for something more than I wanted out of our relationship.”

Ryan had made it clear he was ready to settle down. He’d been convinced he was in love with her. But how could he be? There was so much about her he didn’t know.

Lexi gave a little laugh. “That simply tells me he wasn’t ‘The One’ for you.”

“The problem wasn’t with Ryan.” Kate rose to his defense. “It was me. I’m not ready to settle down.”

Kate conveniently pushed aside the promise she’d made to herself that when she turned thirty, she’d put her past to rest and move on. That had proven impossible, especially in Jackson Hole.

“If Ryan had been ‘The One’ it wouldn’t have mattered if you were ready or if this was the right time or not.”

Kate opened her mouth to argue the point, but Lexi waved her silent.

“Let me tell you a little story.” The social worker’s hands encircled her cup, the large diamond on her ring finger glittering in the sunlight. “If you’d asked me three years ago why I wasn’t in a relationship, I’d have given the same excuse. I was raising Addie on my own and I was content with that arrangement. Then I met Nick.”

Kate envied the happiness she saw in Lexi’s eyes and heard in her voice, but she wasn’t about to get drawn into a discussion about Mr. Right. She focused instead on Lexi’s other comment. Even though someone had once mentioned in passing that Nick wasn’t their oldest child’s biological father, it was easy to forget. “Your ex-husband doesn’t live around here, right?”

While she waited for Lexi’s answer, Kate took a sip of her cappuccino and noted that Joel and Chloe had gotten their drinks “to go.” Obviously they weren’t staying. The tightness in her chest eased.

“Actually there is no ex-husband.” Lexi’s confession pulled Kate back from her thoughts. “Addie’s dad and I never married. When Drew found out I was pregnant, he made it clear he didn’t want a baby. His career was revving up and he believed having a child would only drag him down. He offered to pay for an abortion.”

“Did you ever consider—”

“Not having the baby?” Lexi shook her head. “Never.”

“How about adoption?” Although Kate felt her lips move, the words seemed to come from far away.

“It’s a great option, but not for me.” Lexi’s gaze grew thoughtful. “Still, I have to tell you, being a single mom was no walk in the park. Addie and I endured some pretty lean years. In fact, when I met Nick, I was working two jobs.”

“Not every woman could do that,” Kate murmured. The scone she’d just finished eating sat like a dead weight in the pit of her stomach.

“Keeping my daughter was easy,” Lexi said, “compared to how hard it would have been to give her up.”

Kate could only nod.

“What brings you two fine ladies downtown this morning?”

At the sound of the familiar baritone, Kate’s heart plummeted to the tips of her toes. Somehow she managed to lift her gaze and smile.

“I rounded at the hospital early and thought I’d check out Cole and Meg’s new business.” Even though Kate’s heart was above the safe number of beats per minute, thanks to years of practice her tone gave nothing away.

“Chloe and I were just talking about how glad we are that they opened a coffee shop just down the street from The Dance Studio.” Joel smiled at his daughter. “We’ve become Saturday morning regulars.”

Kate made a quick mental note not to come here again on the weekend, then settled her gaze on the nine-year-old. Chloe’s straight dark hair, which normally hung past her shoulders had been pulled back into a makeshift ponytail. Like many preteens, her eyes and teeth seemed too large for her thin face. Although it wasn’t obvious to the casual eye, Kate saw the promise of great beauty.

“What do you usually get when you come here?” Lexi bestowed a friendly smile on the two.

“Coffee with cream for me.” Joel lifted his cardboard cup. “Nothing fancy.”

Even though it would have been easy for him to answer for his daughter, to Joel’s credit he merely offered the child an encouraging smile.

Chloe’s eyes dropped to the clear plastic cup in her hand. “I got an Italian soda.”

“I almost ordered one of those this morning,” Kate said, surprising herself by jumping into the conversation. Perhaps because she’d been a shy child and knew how hard it was to have all eyes on you. “My favorite flavor is watermelon.”

Chloe lifted her gaze, her eyes wide. “Mine, too.”

“Watermelon.” Although Joel shook his head in apparent disgust, a smile tugged at her lips. “Must be a girl thing.”

Chloe giggled.

For a second, Kate basked in the warmth of the child’s pleasure. As Chloe’s doctor she’d seen only the little girl’s serious side. She’d even spoken with Joel after that first visit about his daughter’s reticence, thinking it might be related to her mother’s death. But Joel said Chloe had always been shy around strangers.

“Would you like to join us?” Lexi asked. “We could pull up a couple chairs.”

Kate remained silent.

Chloe looked up at her father.

Kate held her breath, hoping he would say no, but at the same time wanting them to stay.

“Thanks for the offer,” Joel said, sounding sincere. “Unfortunately I have a potential client to meet, so we need to hit the road.”

Joel built high-end custom homes in Jackson Hole and from everything Kate had heard, his business was booming despite the economy.

“If that person wants references,” Lexi said, “feel free to give them our number. I know Travis and Mary Karen would also be happy to sing your praises.”

“Thank you for that. Much appreciated.” Joel shifted from one foot to the other, as if embarrassed by the compliment.

Since Joel’s Montana-based company had established a presence in Jackson Hole almost five years ago, he’d built homes in the mountains surrounding Jackson not only for Lexi and her husband, but for Mary Karen and Travis Fisher, as well. Kate knew he was in the process of building one for Cole and Meg Lassiter, the couple who owned the shop where they were seated.

“Daddy.” Chloe tugged on his arm. “You promised we’d stop and pick up my new ice skates before your meeting.”

“You ice skate?” The question popped out of Kate’s mouth before she could stop it. If she truly wanted them to leave—which she did—she was doing a poor job of hurrying them on their way.

“Since I was a little girl,” Chloe said with a nine-year-old’s maturity. “Do you like to skate?”

“I used to,” Kate said. “When I was your age.”

For her, skating had been a way to forget her troubles at home. She hoped it wasn’t that way for Chloe.

“That’s cool,” Chloe said, then ducked her head, staring down at her hot-pink sneakers.

Joel pulled his phone from his pocket and glanced at it. “We better get going.”

From the distant look in his eyes, his thoughts were already on his next appointment.

Kate kept the disappointment she had no right to feel from showing as she watched them walk out the door.

Or at least she thought she’d hidden her disappointment.

“His wife hasn’t been gone all that long. From what I understand they were childhood sweethearts.” Lexi took a sip of her latte, a look of sympathy in her eyes. “Give him time. He’ll come around.”

Kate blinked. “I’m not interested in dating Joel.”

“Really?” A tiny smile played at the corners of Lexi’s lips. “Could have fooled me.”

Even though Kate was absolutely, positively certain she didn’t want to date the handsome contractor, she could see where he could catch a woman’s eye. “I’ll admit he’s a good-looking man.”

“Oh, you noticed.” Lexi looked as if she was trying to keep from laughing. “Even though you’re not interested.”

After a second Kate chuckled and took a sip of her drink. It was probably best to let Lexi think what she wanted. If she protested too much, her friend’s curiosity radar might be activated and she’d ask even more questions.

Questions Kate had no intention of answering.

For now her secret was safe, held close and tight against her heart. And that was just where she intended to keep it.

Chapter Two

Sunday morning, Kate rose early and flung open her closet doors, searching for just the right dress to wear to church. She’d promised herself at the first of the year that she’d start attending services on a regular basis. January had gone well, but by February she’d already fallen off the churchgoing wagon.

She was ready to try again. After all, she couldn’t build relationships or meet new friends sitting home alone.

After donning a simple slip dress in a wild swirl of colors, she pulled out a pair of dangling earrings that had been an impulse buy. Even though at the time they seemed a little bold, today they fit her take-charge-of-life mood.

The decision on what shoes to wear took way too long. By the time Kate waltzed through the front doors of the church she usually attended in Jackson, the congregation was already on their feet for the opening hymn.

There was space for her in the back pews, which were normally reserved for parents with babies and small, noisy children. While Kate loved kids, this morning she didn’t feel like being surrounded by them.

Instead she strolled down the center aisle looking for a place to sit. As she reached the midway point, a sick feeling had taken up residence in the pit of her stomach. Perhaps this was a sign for her to casually pivot on her designer heels and head for the door.

The escape was already in progress when the sound of her name aborted the flight plan and had her turning back toward a pew she’d just passed.

Chloe gave her a shy smile. Joel motioned to her.

His brown hair, which normally looked like he’d just run his fingers through it, had been carefully combed and the stubble on his cheeks had been shaved away. He looked very business casual this morning in a navy blazer with a blue-sapphire plaid shirt and tan chinos. He also looked very handsome.

While Kate took a hesitant step toward him, he and Chloe moved over. Joel gestured to the tiny space he’d opened up next to him. A space so small that if she accepted his offer, she might as well be sitting on his lap.

Her heart skipped a beat. Her breathing quickened.

Kate rapidly considered her two options. Sit down. Or make some lame excuse and walk away.

Before she could second-guess the rightness of her decision, she squeezed in beside him. It was tight. Very tight. His muscular thigh pressing against her bare leg ignited feelings that had no place in a house of worship.

Joel’s gaze lingered on her earrings—or was it a bit lower, say on her breasts?—before turning his attention back to the hymnal.

While slip dresses were popular and no more revealing than a skirt and tiny tee, Kate suddenly felt exposed. As though she was caught in one of those horrible dreams where you leave the house in your underwear and only later realize you’d forgotten to put on the rest of your clothes.

It didn’t help that someone had set the air conditioning on low and she was freezing. Or she would be if Joel wasn’t beside her. The guy was like a blast furnace and the warmth radiating from him made her yearn to throw caution to the wind and cuddle close.

It took every bit of control to ignore the spicy scent of his cologne and his heat, that wonderful heat that wrapped itself around her like a favorite blanket, tethering her to him.

Still, she remained in firm control of her emotions until it came time to share the hymnal with him and Chloe. Standing beside the tall, broad-shouldered man and the girl with a ribbon tied awkwardly around her ponytail felt a little too much like heaven. Or was it hell?

Regardless, it was a vivid reminder of what she’d given up all those years ago. Breathing became difficult and tears stung the back of her eyes.

The only way she held it together was by focusing on the letters and notes swimming on the pages before her. And by ignoring the man next to her and the child in the pink jersey dress with the crooked smile on his other side.

By the time they rose for the closing benediction, Kate’s emotions were raw and bleeding and too close to the surface for comfort.

She needed to put some space between her and Joel.

Between her and Chloe.

The second the minister quit talking she’d say a quick but polite goodbye, then sprint for the exit. Unfortunately her escape plan didn’t include Lexi Delacourt appearing out of nowhere to block her way out of the pew.

“You look absolutely gorgeous, Kate.” The social worker gave her a quick hug, then shifted her gaze to the man now trapped beside her. “Doesn’t she look nice, Joel?”

“Beautiful,” came the deep rumble behind her.

Something in the way he said the word sent a shiver of awareness up her spine. Or maybe it wasn’t the word so much as his warm breath against the back of her neck. Yes, it was definitely time to put some distance between her and the sexy contractor. If only Lexi would move….

“We’re all going to The Coffeepot for breakfast while the kids are in Sunday school,” Lexi announced, her feet firmly planted in front of Kate. “I hope you two will join us.”

“I don’t thi—”

“Sure,” Joel said at the same time. “I’d like that.”

A moment of silence followed. Kate wished sinking through the floor were an option.

“Dr. Kate doesn’t want to go with you, Daddy.” Chloe’s voice came from behind her father. “I don’t think she likes you.”

“Apologies, Kate,” she heard him say and the hitch in his voice made her heart twist. “It wasn’t my intent to answer for you.”