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“It’s okay hun, it could happen to anyone.” Charmaine patted her awkwardly on the arm.
“I’m so embarrassed. Poor Beth. What she must think of me.” Lily leaned against the truck and buried her head in her hands.
“You’re not alone in getting morning sickness you know.” Charmaine put her arm around her shoulder. “You remember what I was like, don’t you? I puked everywhere. Remember the fit Bradley had when I made a mess in his truck? I thought for sure he was going to leave me there and then,” Charmaine said with a chuckle. “It’ll pass. Trust me.”
“It’s not even morning anymore though! And how am I supposed to find a job if all I do is throw up all the time?” She leaned into her friend. “God, my life is such a mess. What am I going to do?” she murmured into Charmaine’s shoulder.
“Well, for one, we will go get groceries and we’ll ask around about any other jobs. Ones that don’t involve coffee. Okay? Come on, hop in.”
Charmaine dragged her into the minivan then headed back into the café to grab her kids. She was such a horrible friend, she’d forgotten about Charmaine’s kids. What if she left her own baby somewhere? Would she forget she had one and walk away and leave it behind in a shop? God, she started to feel sick again.
Charmaine piled the kids into their seats, completely unaware of the turmoil Lily was going through. “Okay,” she said once she buckled in and was reversing out of the parking space. “Is there anything you want from the store?”
“Olives and a Hershey’s bar.”
Charmaine looked at her sideways and grinned, “Okaaay,” she said slowly, “We can get those.”
The grocery store wasn’t far. It was only down the other end of the street but Charmaine said she needed to get quite a few things and didn’t want to carry them all back to the minivan when she could park just outside the door.
“Can I have some candy Mom? Please?” Charmaine’s youngest, Cody, asked with his heart in his eyes.
“It’s only just after lunch honey and you just had something to eat at Beth’s. I tell you what, if you are all good,” Charmaine eyed each of her children with a gleam in her eyes, “I’ll let you watch a movie when you get home and I’ll get you some popcorn.”
“The one in the bag, Mommy?”
“Yes honey, the one in the bag.” Charmaine sighed heavily.
“Yay!” All three kids shouted in joy and dashed towards the shop.
“Remember you have to be good!” Charmaine shouted after them but they were already through the door. “I don’t know why I bother,” Charmaine said to Lily and followed the little monsters inside.
Lily laughed for the first time in what felt like years and tagged along. She hoped they had lots of olives. Her mouth salivating just thinking about them.
Charmaine asked the lady at the checkout if she knew of anywhere looking to hire.
The beauty smiled sympathetically at Lily but shook her head. “No sorry, not that I know of. You could have a look at the post office though, they sometimes post notices up on the bulletin board outside.
“Damn,” Lily muttered under her breath before following Charmaine and her troop of little clowns back outside. “Who was that at the checkout? She kept looking at me as if I should know her.” Lily asked once the door closed behind her.
“Tricia.”
“Tricia? Do I know her?”
“You remember Tricia, don’t you? She was a Hamilton, but she married Greg Torr.”
Lily thought about the raven haired lady that served her and tried to place her face in her memory. “I guess I’ve been away too long.” she mused out loud, “I remember the name, but I didn’t recognize her.”
“Well, she used to be blonde and a hundred pounds heavier.” Charmaine grinned, “You should have heard the commotion when she lost all that weight and then snared the third hottest guy in town.”
“Your Bradley being the hottest of course, right Charmaine?”
“Oh I don’t know, I can think of someone hotter!” Charmaine grinned with a wink.
Lily grinned back, she hadn’t had this type of easy friendship since forever. Even with all the worries she had in her life at the moment she’d found herself laughing all afternoon. It was good to be home, even if circumstances weren’t the best.
Lily stopped and looked down the main street towards the hotel. After spending so many years in the hustle and bustle of Toronto, Bassville was positively quiet. There was a small main street and although it was very pretty with tended flower gardens lining the sidewalks, there was barely anybody around. There was a crowd of vehicles parked outside Beth’s café and the few shops next to her, and there were a couple of trucks parked at the hotel, but she suspected they belonged to the regulars that were drinking at the bar. Every once in a while someone drove down the street, but Charmaine’s vehicle was the only one parked outside the grocery store.
She didn’t know what to do. It didn’t seem as though there was much work around. Charmaine said last year, when the movie was being filmed, here the town was buzzing – but since then things had died back down to normal. She hadn’t checked of course, but there didn’t seem to be anything available except at the Cat Whiskers and Lily knew she couldn’t work there, at least not until her morning sickness subsided. And because of the morning sickness, asking about a job at the bar didn’t seem like a good idea either – she didn’t want to be throwing up on customers. But from the look of things, the other shops just weren’t hiring.
She stood in the middle of the sidewalk in contemplation. She sighed. Maybe coming to Bassville hadn’t been the best idea. Maybe she’d have better luck in Calgary.
The wind had died down and the sun was shining. At least it was a nice day. She turned her face up towards the sun and let it soak into her skin. It seemed like ages since she’d been able to enjoy the luxury of just standing still and savouring the moment.
“You coming?” Charmaine called out the window of the minivan.
Lily laughed. This obviously wasn’t that moment either. She jumped in and Charmaine drove down to the post office.
“I have to pick up the mail anyway,” she said.
Lily just nodded and looked out the window. The kids were talking excitedly about what movie they were going to watch. All three of them had a different one they wanted to see. Lily didn’t know how they would ever agree on the same one.
“I’ll just be a moment kids,” Charmaine hopped out of the minivan and made a dash to the post office, obviously needing time away from the escalating chaos in the back seat. She stopped before she got to door of the post office and called to Lily, “Come look.”
Lily unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of the minivan. She could hear the kids scramble out behind her.
“Here it is,” Charmaine pointed at the large public notice board in front of the post office when Lily joined her. It wasn’t very full.
“There’s not many notices,” Lily said, stating the obvious. She remembered a time when papers overlapped each other so much it was a struggle to read what they said. Now she could count what was there on one hand. There was a notice about a lost cat, kittens for sale, an advert for Tupperware (she noticed Tricia was selling that too); a flyer about the rodeo that was two weeks ago; and a house for rent. “At least I can call about the house.”
“Look Mommy, a kitten,” Charmaine’s youngest daughter, Sarah, pointed at the picture of kittens for sale.
“Yes honey, you’re right, kittens, but you have kittens in the barn at home. We don’t need any more right now.”
“But Mommm,” Sarah whined and looked at her mother with pleading eyes.
“Look over there, sweetie, would you like to play on the swings?” Lily bent down to the four-year-old’s level and pointed to the playground across the street. “I’ll take them to the swings while you get you mail, if you like.” she said to Charmaine.
Relief washed over her friend’s face.
“Oh you’re a Godsend. Thank you Lily.” Charmaine dashed into the post office as though she was afraid Lily would change her mind.
“Come on kids. Look both ways,” she warned before they ran across the street. There was no one coming of course, but better safe than sorry.
Lily was pushing Sarah and her older brother Wyatt on the swings while keeping an eye on Cody, the youngest, when she noticed someone coming out of the bar and getting in their truck. The air closed in around her and it suddenly felt like there was a brick in the bottom of her stomach, along with a million butterflies just taking off in flight. Wade Copeland: the hottest guy in town. That he was coming from the bar should come as no surprise, he was always the bad boy at school, she just thought he would have grown up. Apparently he was now the town drunk instead.
“Aunt Lily, look at me!”
Lily wrenched herself from the eye candy down the street and turned to see Wyatt standing on top of the slide. She hadn’t even noticed he’d jumped off the swing, she’d stopped pushing when Wade caught her eye. “Honey, I think you should sit down now please.”
“But look what I can do; watch me!” Wyatt wobbled and her heart caught in her throat. She stood paralyzed as he slid down the slide on his feet. “See? Want me to do it again?”
She swallowed past the lump in her throat and shook her head. “That was a great trick, sweetie, would you like me to push you on the swing now?”
Chapter Four
Wade grabbed his hat and shoved it on his head. He was well sick of this place. Spilled beer and roasted nuts obscured the aroma of the roast beef the hotel was serving for lunch and it was giving him a headache. Besides, it was time he got back to work. He cursed Mark for only sending him a text just now. He could have saved himself a trip into town, let alone an overcooked lunch, if he’d known his lawyer couldn’t make the meeting. He’d call him tonight and go over the papers then. He wanted to get that piece of dirt next to him. It’d fit onto his ranch perfectly.
He shrugged into his sheepskin jacket and pulled the collar up before pulling the heavy door of the hotel bar open. The sunlight bounced off the remnants of the dirty snow into his eyes. He tugged his hat lower, wishing he hadn’t left his shades in the truck. His breath steamed up around him but the sun warmed his face. It was supposed to be spring for God’s sake but as usual, winter was reluctant to release her grip.
Today was a balmy ten below zero. Downright tropical compared to last week when the blizzard had blown through. He was sick of winter. Its only redeeming feature was Christmas and that was long gone, although some residents still had their lights up. He’d even spotted a Christmas tree in a front window on the way to the bar this morning. Some people were just way too enthusiastic about the festive season. It wasn’t normal.
He headed over to his truck and pulled the keys from the ignition, no one locked their vehicle in Bassville, and walked down the street to the post office. He might as well pick up the mail while he was here.
Charmaine Jacobson’s truck was parked out front. He needed to talk to her husband Bradley about the PTO on his tractor. Bradley was the best mechanic around. Maybe this morning wouldn’t be a complete write-off after all.
“Aunt Lily, look at me!” Charmaine’s youngest, Cody, yelled from the small park across the street.
Wade stopped in his tracks. Aunt Lily? He slowly turned around to look. He wasn’t quite sure what he was hoping to see. A different Lily perhaps? But fate wasn’t that nice. No, it was Lily Montgomery. Damn, and she looked good.
His feet moved on their own accord and crossed the road. He stopped too close to her. He could smell her sandalwood perfume and it hit him in the gut. She shouldn’t smell the same after all these years. Longing rocked his body before he could take a step back.
“Having trouble with the kids, Lily?” he drawled.
She looked up at him in shock. It was clear she hadn’t noticed him approach. It rankled him that she obviously didn’t have the same reaction to him as he had to her. But then again, she never did.
“I’m fine,” she said and turned back to the child who was now standing on the top of the slide trying to reach out to the crossbar on the swing. “Cody honey, it’s time for you to slide down. Your sister is waiting for her turn.”
Cody just looked at her and climbed up onto the handle on the slide platform to get a better reach of his destination.
“Cody, do come down.” Lily’s voice caught in fear as she urged the little boy to do as she wished.
“But you let Wyatt do it,” he sulked and stretched his foot out further.
“Not really, honey. Please sit down and use the slide properly,” Lily begged.
Wade watched in amusement. He was close enough to catch the little tyke if he fell, but Lily didn’t seem to register that small fact. She was too busy working herself up into a state.
Her breath caught, making a strangely erotic sound in the back of her throat, when Cody finally built up enough nerve to jump.
Wade caught the boy easily in his arms and swung him high in the air, causing the little urchin to succumb to a fit of giggles.
“Cody, you could have been killed,” Lily admonished as she reached for the boy.
Wade put the little imp on the swing and gave him a big push. “He’s all right Lily. No harm done. You certainly don’t know much about kids do you? They always push the limits of gravity and self-preservation.”
Wade moved away as her scent filled the air again. Tears hung on her lashes and although she quickly blinked them away Wade felt the pull in his gut. He couldn’t afford to feel sorry for her. He knew all too well where that would lead him.
“Wade, hi!” Charmaine called from across the street.
He took another step away from Lily and tipped his hat to Charmaine.
“Thanks for watching the kiddos while I was getting the mail, Lily. You have no idea what it’s like to have them hanging off me every moment of the day.”
Lily’s face paled and for a moment Wade thought she might faint, but she managed to stay upright.
“Lily,” Charmaine whispered, touching her arm, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” Wade looked back and forth between each woman. Something was going on, they were both acting weird.
He shook his head; it wasn’t his concern.
If he knew what was best for him he’d stay well away from any and all drama Lily Montgomery brought with her. He turned his attention to Charmaine. “Can you tell Bradley I need him to take a look at my tractor as soon as he can? It’s important. I’ll need it tomorrow to feed the cows, but the PTO isn’t working as well as it should, it’s not spinning fast enough to get the pellets out. It keeps getting clogged up. I had a quick look at it this morning in the shop but I had to come in to meet Mark, not that he actually showed up.” He cleared his throat. It wasn’t like him to say so much at once.
“Um, I’ll try to remember all that to tell Bradley,” Charmaine laughed, “but don’t expect much. I might remember to tell him to give you a call though. Would that work? Then you can explain exactly what’s what.”
“Thanks,” his cheeks grew warm. God, when was the last time he’d blushed? He scrubbed his hand across his face. He needed to get out of there. “I’ll see you later.” He didn’t dare look in Lily’s direction so he nodded to Charmaine and headed back towards his truck.
“Wait,” Charmaine called after him.
*
When Wade had snuck up behind her, Lily hadn’t been prepared for her body’s reaction to him. Her heart skipped a beat and shivers raced up and down her spine.
All she could do to remain calm was take a deep breath and focus on Char’s kids. Thankfully Cody provided enough of a distraction against Wade’s cologne.
She was thankful when Wade finally turned away and started walking back down the street towards his truck.
She could have killed Char when she called him back.
If possible, he’d gotten better looking with age. The cowboy hat on his head shaded his eyes but their blue intensity penetrated the shadow. There were lines on his face from years in the sun and whiskers darkened his jaw, but that just added to the fantasy. His jacket hung open, revealing a grey t-shirt pulling tight across his muscular chest. His blue jeans hugged his hips.
Lily’s mouth was suddenly very dry.
“What’re you doing in town again, Lily? I thought you said you were never coming back,” Wade looked down at her. He had always been a head taller than her growing up and the time hadn’t changed that.
“Never’s a long time Wade, I needed to come home.” The tension in the air between them was making her shoulders ache.
“Home?” He looked at her in surprise, “Lily, this isn’t your home. You’ve been away too long and you never did fit in here anyway. You’re not staying, are you?”
Well if she had any illusions that he was going to make her feel welcome, she was sadly mistaken. Anger flared in her chest, who did he think he was? “I can stay here as long as I like, thank you very much. And I may not have fit in when I was growing up, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t home.” Besides, she thought, I have nowhere else to go.
“Suit yourself.” His arm shot out and he caught Cody as he went flying by towards the edge of the street. “Hey you, where do you think you’re going?” He held Cody up in the air with one arm and looked at him intently. “Do you want another push on the swing?” Without waiting for an answer, he plopped Cody on the seat and started pushing.
Lily was still staring at Wade in confusion when Charmaine interrupted. “It sure is nice to see the sun after last week isn’t it, Wade?”
Wade turned his head towards Charmaine, completely ignoring Lily. She wasn’t sure why that upset her so much.
“Yes ma’am, it sure is,” he said.
Charmaine tipped her face up to the sun and let out a deep sigh, “Gorgeous,” she almost moaned.
Wade averted his gaze from the look of exultation on Charmaine’s face. Lily didn’t blame him, Char was nothing if not stunning. Her long hair reflected light, making it seem alive, and the look of sheer bliss on her friend’s face was uncomfortable to witness, as though sharing her most private intimate moment.
Lily cleared her throat, “Umm, any luck, Charmaine?”
“Sorry, no. I did ask Mrs Whitmore to keep a look out for you though. If anything comes up, she’ll be sure to know about it.”
“Have you lost something, Lily?” Wade asked her between pushes of the swing.
“She’s looking for a job,” Charmaine answered before Lily could even open her mouth. “Do you know of anyone needing help around here?”
“How long are we talking?”
“Lily’s moving back here. I imagine she’d take anything, long or short term.” Charmaine continued on as though Lily wasn’t even there. “She could always move to something better if something comes up, but you need something now, don’t you Lily?”
Lily opened her mouth to reply, but she was once again cut off; this time by Wade.
“She could work for me.”
“You?” Charmaine and Lily said at the same time, both of their mouths hanging open in shock.
“Sure, I need help on the ranch and there’s no one around here who knows what to do without being told ten times. I’ve made the mistake of hiring a novice before and it didn’t work out. You grew up on a ranch, Lily, and I remember you working while all your friends partied all summer. Uh, no offense Charmaine.”
“Haha, don’t worry about it Wade,” Charmaine smiled at him, “we were all young and I wouldn’t trade those summers for anything. I actually always felt guilty about having fun while you and Lily, and a few others, spent most of your school holidays working. Didn’t seem fair to me.”
Wade cleared his throat and turned back to the swing. “Besides,” he said, ignoring Charmaine’s comment about his childhood, “the place needs tidying up, it could do with a woman’s touch here and there.”
“That’s very kind of you Wade, but Lily’s…”
“When do you want me to start?” Lily cut off her friend and gave her a warning look.
“Come down the ranch tomorrow morning. You still remember how to get there?” Wade asked, looking her directly in the eye.
*
“You can’t work for Wade, Lily.” Charmaine said on their drive back to the house.
“Why not?” Lily asked.
“You’re pregnant,” Charmaine took her eyes off the gravel road for a moment to look at her. “Ranching’s hard work, you know that. It’s no place to grow a baby.” She turned her attention back to the road.
Lily looked in the back seat to see if the kids were listening, it was awfully quiet back there, but they were asleep.
“Char,” she said, “you saw for yourself that there’s no other work around, unless you want me puking on Beth’s customers. And you and I both know that once I start showing there’s no way in hell anyone is going to hire me. Who wants to train someone only to have them go on maternity leave in a couple of months? I need a job, Char and at least this one I’m qualified for. I’ll be careful. I called the doctor’s office this morning before we left and managed to get an appointment in two days – I’ll ask him what I can and can’t do. I’m excited about working again; I just wish it wasn’t with Wade,” she mumbled.
“And how are you going to get to a doctor’s appointment without rousing suspicion?” If she hadn’t been driving, Charmaine’s hands would have been on her hips.
“I’ll just tell him that it’s women problems. He won’t ask questions,” Lily winked.
“No I don’t suspect he will. Men hate women problems,” Charmaine chuckled. “You know you won’t get any work done, don’t you? You’ll be too busy ogling him.” Charmaine laughed but Lily failed to see the funny side. The fact was, she still remembered a long time ago when she left him behind to see the world. Back then, the thrill of him and this simple life wasn’t enough to keep her from following her dream. She realized now that she had only been following a fantasy and what she wanted didn’t actually exist. How was he ever going to forgive her for that? And how could she ask him too?
Chapter Five
The next morning, Lily toweled her hair on her way back to her room. It was still dark outside. She could just make out the pink start to the sunrise from the small basement window in her borrowed room. She was thankful her morning sickness didn’t last long this morning and was hopeful it would stay at bay for the rest of the day.
The butterflies hadn’t left her stomach since seeing Wade yesterday though and she couldn’t forget their history together no matter how hard she tried. She just hoped it wouldn’t get in the way of her working for him.
She really needed this job. She couldn’t let anything get in the way of that. She had to focus on the bigger picture.
But try as she might, she couldn’t stop the images of the last time they saw each other playing through her mind.
She wasn’t proud of it or how she’d acted. He had deserved way more than that, especially from her.
She wiped a tear from her cheek, sank down onto her bed and let the memories she’d been holding back for days finally come.
*
“Don’t go,” Wade pleaded, clutching her hand.
Lily felt embarrassment color her face at the scene Wade was creating in the air terminal. “Shhh,” she whispered, pulling her hand from his. “We can talk about this later.” She had to get out of this town before it was too late. She couldn’t end up like her mother.
“No Lily, we can’t. You’re leaving now. Today. You wouldn’t talk about it earlier. You have to listen to me now.”
She cringed when his voice grew louder. “Please Wade,” she whispered, “don’t do this.”
Wade stood in front of her with a look of confusion on his face. “I thought you loved me.”
“I did,” she said urgently. Why couldn’t he understand that she had to do this? She had to follow her dream before she ended up in butt-fuck Alberta for the rest of her life. She was not becoming one of the many high school brides who never left town or got a career and then at the age of thirty had five kids and an affair with their neighbor. She did not want to end up like one of them. She’d end up resenting Wade forever if she stayed. She couldn’t do that to him.