The Book of Knowledge. Playing Another Reality. C. Castaneda award

18. DARK LIGHT

He invited me to cast my spells on the Roof. He was an Oligarch. I suddenly wanted to feel pity for him. Just think about it, it was not as easy for Oligarchs to live as for ordinary people; they had to maintain, among other things, various roofs.

The Roof was one of his flats, located on the last two floors of a sky-scrapper, from where one could see a lot of beautiful things of the Earthly Reality, but nothing of Another one at all.

I had already climbed onto the Roof for an exhibition of some Artist’s paintings held by the Oligarch. The Oligarch, we must give him his due, in addition to factories, ships, yachts, villas and other earthly nonsense, oddly enough, was fond of arts. Many funny characters gathered on the Roof for that exhibition, most of them considered themselves glamorous. I modestly stood aside, because I had no idea how I could be interesting to those people. They were discussing the weather, the breaking news, television stars and the tabloids. I could tell them the way to the Library of the Universe, but they would hardly get there, even if I wrote out the route step by step or by real stars.

Having approached me, a woman introduced herself as a Writer and pronounced her last name, informing me, as if by the way, about the half a million circulation of her books, and said that my face reminded her of someone. Obviously offended by the fact that her great name meant absolutely nothing to my ears, she asked who I was. If I had said the word ‘spell-caster’ in response, she wouldn’t have understood me, so I said that I wrote poetry. The woman thought about it a bit. Of course, my name was unknown to her, but she didn’t give up, listing in a glamorous voice with a glamorous look all the glamorous parties she had once visited, in the hope that she had met me at one of them. I wanted the Writer to turn her attention to someone else of the guests, but I didn’t know to lie in order to stop her with the words, “Oh, yes! I remember, it seems, it was there that I accidentally lost my favorite gold ring with a huge diamond!” Having listened to the elite list to the end, I smiled sadly, stating that I hadn’t been at any of the mentioned parties.

I cast a few spells to them all. Someone asked, “How do you manage to write spells like that?” I didn’t want to offend them, so I shrugged my shoulders. If I had constantly gone to glamorous parties in my life, I would have written nothing like that. In order to write like that, one had to live many lives in one, each time dying and resurrecting again.

That day the Oligarch pleased me, “There will be few people on the Roof.”

I arrived on the Roof in the evening after a rehearsal of a creative performance, having had no time to eat, so I really wanted to bite something and hinted to the Oligarch about it.

“Would you like some cheese? Do you prefer expensive or very expensive one?”

“I don’t care,” I answered coldly, remembering my church childhood.

The Oligarch cut off two small pieces, in fact, I didn’t understand of what kind of cheese, but I took one of them and headed to my favorite far corner, where there was a lonely, like me, leather chair in the niche, and a Tibetan thangka of the Buddha of the Future on the wall.

“Do you need some bread, maybe?” the Oligarch asked ironically and started listing the varieties of glamorous bread he had in stock.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay for your bread already,” I said, involuntarily remembering how much money was left in my wallet until payday.

There were really few guests that time. While I sat in the secluded corner, like a gray mouse, savoring the piece of elite cheese given to me, they were discussing the unique, but, as it seemed to me, somewhat gloomy interior of the Roof.

Finally, one of the guests said that it would be nice to have something to eat. The Oligarch admitted that in his refrigerator, there was a piece of the freshest Australian beef, because the Oligarchs ate exclusively Australian beef, but… he would eat that beef the next day, so the guests had to eat something or someone else. For example, Swiss chocolate, brought to him personally from Switzerland according to his order.

Poor Oligarch! I was horrified. It’s so difficult to be an Oligarch! Can you imagine how much money one needs to constantly spend just to eat exclusively Australian beef and order chocolate from Switzerland?! I can’t. And how many other similar points, which the Oligarchs must have in order to be Oligarchs, do exist!

I thought, “It’s so good that I am me.”

A girl materialized on the Roof, bringing with her some couscous she had specially prepared for the guests. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and headed to the table. Thus, the issue of the attack on Australian beef was safely removed from the agenda.

After the meal, the Oligarch invited me to cast spells. He told them that I was a Great Spell-caster, and already well-known. I grinned, it turned out that Oligarchs tended to exaggerate reality! I remarked that, according to my Natal Chart, only posthumous glory awaited me.

“Don’t worry, we will see it,” the Oligarch assured me, waving his hand at my Natal Chart, as if my Death was already wandering on his Roof.

I stood in front of the window at the door to the balcony. It was snowing outside. It was very beautiful, but there was not enough Light somehow.

“What a Dark Light is here,” flashed in my mind when I took out my papers with the spells and saw almost nothing, either because of my poor earthly vision, or because the Light there was really Dark.

While I was reading, one of the guests managed to take a nap and snore. I was happy for him. He took a break from the Earthly Reality. I didn’t know where the others had been during my spell-casting, but when I asked if they liked anything, they all fell silent for a long time. I didn’t bother them, returning to the secluded corner of the niche with the Tibetan thangka of the Buddha of the Future.

Saying good-bye, the Oligarch gave a book, not mine, to each guest, except me. Probably, unlike me, they hadn’t eaten cheese. However, I wasn’t offended at all, because I remembered well since childhood that free cheese could be found only in mousetraps.

…Ray appeared always unexpectedly. That time we met on a street in the city center. I was walking into the distance when suddenly, looking up, I noticed Ray approaching me.

“Have you come here to walk with me on purpose?”

“I feel when you are sad, and I know that you like this street.”

We walked slowly along the pavement, hand in hand, looking at paintings by unknown artists put up for sale by merchants.

“You always appear when I feel bad. Why, Ray? You are not a Warrior of Light at all.”

“As paradoxical as it may sound, I am the only Ray of Light in your Past. Do you remember why you started calling me that? I show up because you want me to. You call me, and I can’t help but come.”

“Why can you not?”

“Once you helped me. Moreover, you are strong and bright. You are too bright, Alice. Even the most sinister Darkness can’t disobey the order of the Light.”

“Who are you, Ray?”

“A person from your Past. You may say a phantom or just a ghost.”

“You are cunning, as always!”

“When one stops living in the Present, one turns to the ghosts of the Past or draws phantoms of the Future. When you stop recalling and living in the Past, I will stop appearing.”

“Does one live in the Past because one doesn’t have the Present, or does one have no Present because one lives in the Past?”

“It’s the same thing, Alice. One and the same, like you and me.”

“Are you saying that I am you, and you are me?”

“Exactly, you understood it yourself long ago. Everything that exists in the world is all ONE. It’s just that the Divine Light prevails in you. As for me…”

“What will you tell them about me when they come for you?”

Ray stopped, looked into my eyes and fell silent for a long time.

“Okay, don’t tell me. I have a much more important question.”

“Are you going to ask me about the Man Who Was Not?”

“Were they some of Yours to send Him to me? Well, you should know.”

“What do you think?”

“He reminds me of you. You are somewhat similar.”

“What do you feel, Alice, thinking about Him, besides Universal Love?”

“Pain. So unbearable that I don’t want to live. It poisons me. This Man seems to have no Soul.”

“You answered your own question yourself. I have nothing to add.”

At that moment, the street musicians we were passing by started playing something beautiful, similar to a slow dance. And we were dancing on the pavement in the crowd of passers-by, as once upon a time, when it had been snowing outside the windows of the Tower with the Dark Light inside on.

“Imagine what these people would see now if they could!” I whispered to Ray with a smile.

“Believe me,” Ray chuckled, “nothing unusual, the same that they don’t see every single day! Darkness coexists inseparably with Light. Two Forces are constantly fighting for the souls of even those who are unaware of this struggle. We are two huge spheres, one is full of Darkness, the other of Light. You are Light, but dark outwardly. I am Dark, but light outwardly.”

Ray was blond and blue-eyed, and I was dark.

“They just don’t see us, Alice.”

“Why?”

“These people are absorbed by the Earthly Reality. Look at them mesmerized by It! We are in Another Reality. You can approach them and even say something or shout in their ears, but they won’t hear and will pass you by. By the way, do you think there is a lot of… you in these people? I don’t think so. But there is plenty of me in them.”

I sighed heavily. The music was over. We continued walking along the street into the distance.

“Do you think I will find That Man?” I asked, but Ray laughed, and I looked at him reproachfully. “Do you find it funny?”

“I taught you to love with Divine Love. Why do you need earthly?”

“I want to live, Ray, live in the Present, because you are no longer there. You said yourself that you are just a ghost of the Past.”

Ray remained silent. He stopped, took my right palm in his hand, looked carefully at the Life Line and stroked it with sad tenderness.

“Do you sometimes think about me?” I asked.

Ray unbuttoned his shirt and showed me the chain I had once given him in the City-on-the-Water. I smiled.

“I have nothing of you, Ray.”

“You have the most valuable thing, bright memories. Can anything earthly replace them? You must continue to shine always for everyone. In spite of everything,” Ray said for some reason, looking at the faintly flickering lantern.

We reached a crossroads. He hugged me, stroked my hair, kissed me like in our Past.

“Ray… I don’t want you to disappear one day forever.”

“It’s necessary, Alice. Remember, when one day you think, Well, that’s all! and let go of the last thread that connects you with the Past, the Door to the Bright Future will open in front of you. This is the Key that you are always trying to find somewhere far away, but, in fact, it’s within yourself.”

“What do you see in my Future?”

“You can already start rejoicing!” Ray smiled.

…A couple of days later, I was called by the Monopolist. He was holding in his hands a diploma with the medal, the Most Important Society of Spell-casters awarded me for ‘Chants’ and ‘Flows of Consciousness’, two of the three types of spells I used to cast. The first meant emotions going off scale with the voice breaking into a scream, and the second were spells similar to the Flow of Consciousness at such a frantic speed that I barely had time to write down fragments of thoughts and phrases.

The Monopolist asked where I was performing in the near Future so that he could come there for the official award ceremony. A good question, since lately I was so tired that I preferred not to manifest myself in the Earthly Reality in my free time, completely flowing into Another. I promised the Monopolist to call back as soon as something cleared up, realizing that it would be impossible to meet my award officially in the near Future, it would be easier to meet with the Monopolist.

“Listen, Alice, you are our clairvoyant. I’ll tell you something now, and you tell me what to do,” the Monopolist asked, switching my gaze to Another Reality. “I have a cottage. It’s small, but everything suits me as it is. The people around are good, except for a neighbor, an old man like that, who is very annoying. There is a ditch between our gardens, a common one. So, every year he moved his fence closer to my site. I moved the fence back, and he moved it again. I got my own fence built then. The neighbor broke it and installed his own. As a result, he conquered the entire common ditch. I went to sue him, but I lost the case because the ditch was considered a common one. It belongs to everyone and nobody at the same time. It really irritates me inside. I don’t want to see my neighbor, and I don’t want him watching my property all the time!”

Instead of that ditch, Another Reality stubbornly showed a mirror to me. The Monopolist constantly bought up or acquired in some other way, about which history was silent, small enterprises and companies in a certain business area.

“In your life, in terms of work, you are engaged in getting everything that seems to be common and over no one’s property under your control, right?”

“Yes, that’s right. I am a Monopolist!”

“Your neighbor mirrors you. He does the same thing with that ditch. In fact, it was your trial with yourself.”

That same night, I received a call from an unknown number, and an equally unknown male Voice calmly said, “Alice, good night.”

“Good night,” I answered, thinking about who it could be.

“I haven’t parted with your books for several days now. I would like to invite you to cast spells the day after tomorrow in an old mansion, in the evening.”

I looked at the clock, it was midnight, so I thought, “Is the day after tomorrow Wednesday or Thursday?”

The Voice read my thoughts and added, “I mean Wednesday. This Wednesday, the Tsar’s Birthday.”

“Who are you?” I asked cautiously.

“A Nobleman. That mansion sometimes gathers what I call ‘the remnants of the former luxury’. They call themselves the Noble Society. The next Noble Assembly will take place on Wednesday. I have the honor to invite you.”

“Thank you! What’s your name?”

“My name is Dmitry. To be honest, I’m already 102 years old,” the Nobleman laughed. “Save my mobile number. Let’s meet at 18:00 at the metro station N., but call me closer to the point. And also, please, take your books with you. Good night, Alice!”

On Tuesday, I called the Monopolist and said that I had been suddenly invited to cast spells to the nobles on Wednesday evening. The Monopolist was just about to leave the city, but the nobles interested him, so he asked to call him on Wednesday at about midday to make a final agreement.

On Wednesday, I got an emergency at work. As a matter of fact, I had been asked to completely redo the website of their company with as many as four departments. The deadline for submitting the website was expiring, but the developers were pulling the cat by the tail. The tail of the poor animal hadn’t yet been let go when the three of the four departments suddenly changed everything. Thus, on Wednesday, I had to rewrite all the texts urgently, making changes to the polyamide thermal bridge and the polymer spacer frame, and in the section with the mysterious threshold protection, I had to replace the technical documentation, and besides, as I was told, it opened in the wrong window.

I needed to leave office, located a few kilometers south of the city, no later than at 16:00 in order to be at the metro station in the very north at 18:00. I called the Nobleman to find out if everything was in order and whether it was possible to invite the Monopolist with the medal, but the Nobleman didn’t answer. The Monopolist was at the meeting, which the secretary called with the mysterious word ‘Presidium’. Finally, having caught the Nobleman by mobile at 15:00, I joyfully exclaimed, “Hello, this is Alice!”

The Voice thought for a moment and asked somehow suspiciously, “What Alice?”

“A spell-caster with books,” I breathed out.

“What are the books about?” the Voice clearly didn’t recognize me!

I thought, perhaps then, at midnight, it was a dream. How could I explain to the Voice what I was writing about?

“You called me the day before yesterday and said, that we were to meet in the subway tonight in order to…”

“Ah!” the Nobleman exclaimed joyfully. “Alice, you did the right thing by calling! You know, memory at the age of 102 years is not at all the same as at the age of 100! So you haven’t changed your mind! And where are we meeting?”

“At 18:00 at the metro station N.”

“Great! Do you have the books with you? Is your spirit ready to fight?”

My spirit was quite peaceful, it didn’t like wars, battles or similar earthly games, but there was no time left for philosophical reasoning.

“Yes. How will I recognize you?”

“I wear glasses on a chain. See you soon, Alice!”

We said goodbye. I realized that I had forgotten to ask for permission to bring the Monopolist with the medal, but I thought that they would forgive me. I got through to the Monopolist, and we agreed to meet in the same place as with the Nobleman. I left work towards the city to leave my Fox in the garage and calmly get to the meeting point by metro. At 17:00, entering the subway, I heard the usual trill of a mobile phone. Noticing the Nobleman’s number on the screen, I responded “yes” and expected to hear anything, even that the meeting was canceled because the Noble Assembly would take place on Thursday, not Wednesday, but not what the Nobleman said, “Who are you?!”

I froze speechless. Together with the heart. At the entrance to the metro.

“Alice the spell-caster. With books.”

The Voice began to breathe heavily, the Nobleman launched a search program in his memory.

“Have you called me today?”

“Yes, and we’ve agreed to meet at the metro station N. at 18:00.”

“Ah! Alice! So you haven’t changed your mind. See you soon! Do you have the books with you? Is your spirit ready to fight?”

“Listen, may a man come with me to award me there?”

“Certainly! It will be very appropriate to introduce you!”

Finally, I was standing in the center of the hall at the station N. Crowds of people. It seemed that all the residents of the city had made appointments for each other right at that time there. My earthly vision categorically stated that it was tired of looking into the crowd for glasses on a chain. I replied that it could doze a little and opened the Third Eye. What else was left to do? The Nobleman’s phone was switched off, as well as the Monopolist’s one. A couple of minutes later, I felt the vibrations of the glasses on a chain and grabbed the hand of an elderly man passing by. The Nobleman turned out to be a gentleman, who had done many good deeds on his Path and was suffering from manifestations of the Dark Forces in the Earthly Reality. I asked him to wait for me right there with my books until I found the Monopolist.

“Whom?” the Nobleman was surprised.

“A man with a medal.”

“Do you want to find a person with a medal in the subway?!” the Nobleman was even more surprised.

“No. I mean, yes. He’s somewhere here. I asked you on the phone if he might come to award me. You said to come.”

“Ah! Yes, yes, of course, I’ll wait.”

The Monopolist stood modestly in a corner, reading a literary newspaper. Having left the metro, we followed the Nobleman in an unknown direction and soon found ourselves at the entrance to a beautiful old building.

“You need to go to the Blue Hall,” said the guard.

The Nobleman introduced me to an important man.

“This is Alice! She is a Great Spell-caster. She has many books released! Alice, this is the Leader.”

“I’m very glad, but I can’t help you!” the Leader said.

“In what sense?” I tried to clarify.

“Nothing is possible! Everything is strictly prohibited!”

“What is prohibited and by whom?” I asked with a smile.

“Books are not allowed!”

“But…” the Nobleman said somehow embarrassed.

“No buts. This is firstly, and secondly, you are not in the program. We have exclusively mono evenings, and today we have the Great Woman.”

The Nobleman felt very uncomfortable.

“It’s all my fault, I didn’t ask your permission in advance, but could we introduce Alice to the Noble Society?”

“Excluded! I don’t know any Alice among the Great Spell-casters.”

“Alice is a Great Spell-caster, indeed!” exclaimed the Nobleman. “And, as proof, here is a man to award Alice a medal!”

“I don’t know any men except those I know. Alice, who are you and where are you from?” the Leader asked.

“I’m telling you, she is a Great Spell-caster!” the Nobleman repeated. “Member of the Most Important Society of Spell-casters!”

“No, I definitely haven’t heard anything about Alice!”

“You will be proud to have had the honor of meeting her!”

‘The remnants of the former luxury’ began to flow out of the Blue Hall, indignant at the absence of the Great Woman. They had absolutely nothing to do. The Leader became nervous, apologizing for her delay, and asked not to leave. The nobles were not interested in communicating with each other for some reason. Their faces expressed nothing but displeasure.

“Listen,” asked the Nobleman, “while the Great Woman is late, let’s introduce Alice to them! Let her cast spells a bit, and the man will give her the medal.”

“Well, write me your name on a piece of paper.”

I nodded and wrote, “ALICE.”

We entered the Blue Hall. The Leader was talking about nothing for a long time, apparently expecting that the Great Woman was about to appear, so he would not have to introduce me, but she didn’t appear, thus, the Leader still had to keep his noble word. Getting onto the stage, I realized with horror that the nobles and my Flows of Consciousness, I was going to cast out loud, were completely incompatible things, as, indeed, was the medal named after Vladimir Mayakovsky, the mention of whom to those gathered, especially on the birthday of the Tsar, was similar to the flashing of a red rag before the eyes of a bull. As a result, I cast five philosophical spells, quiet and wise, addressed to God. The hall froze. Someone in the front row whispered, “Divine!” The Monopolist solemnly presented me with the medal, without focusing the attention of the public on whom it was named after. At that very moment the door to the Blue Hall swung open sharply, and we saw the Great Woman.

The kindhearted Nobleman, who had acted as an instrument in the hands of the Higher Forces, fell asleep immediately after the start of the Great Woman’s lecture and remained in Another Reality, snoring peacefully until the lecture was over. I couldn’t sleep thinking, “Why did Another Reality decide to give me that particular medal there and on the Tsar’s birthday? To demonstrate once again that both the Tsar and the revolutionary were one and the same thing – the diversity of the manifestations of God in the Earthly Reality? Or did I have something to do with the Tsar in the Silver Age?”

Having returned to my earthly home, I took out the medal to take a closer look at it finally. On the red flag fluttering above the head of Mayakovsky, there were only two words in gold letters burning, “SHINE ALWAYS!”

19. STARS

Time is a great deceiver, illusionist. It only seems to people that they have learned to measure it with hours and that it always flows evenly. Time speeds up, then slows down, or even stops. It seems to me, it doesn’t stop, it is stopped by people. It’s very dangerous to play with Time. The word “play” for me personally already carries something negative and false. As RAM once said, “People are playing. We are not…” Time flies faster over the years, and the realization of how much I had no time to do is painfully gnawing at me inside. So suddenly and completely unnoticed, Spring came to our city again.