The Secret Son's Homecoming
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Liam frowned. “All I’m saying is that I think Dad will be at loose ends.”
“I generally spend the holidays with my mom,” he said flatly. “I can’t see this year being any different.”
“We invited your mother,” Liam told him, so matter-of-fact it sounded like the most obvious thing in the world. “She declined, considering my mother would be there. So, I thought maybe Dad could—”
“I don’t want J.D. hanging around my mom,” Jonah said quickly, feeling rage rise through his blood. “Ever.”
Liam’s mouth twitched. “You might not have a say in the matter.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means,” his brother said and tapped him on the shoulder, “that as much as you want to, you don’t get to tell anyone how to live their life. Including and especially your parents. Now, be a big boy and go and talk to Dad.”
Dad...
Jonah hadn’t called J. D. O’Sullivan that since he was five years old.
And he never would again. He didn’t consider J.D. to be his father. He was the man who’d impregnated his mother when she was eighteen years old. End of story. There was no nice way around it. The fact that J.D. hadn’t technically abandoned his mom or him didn’t make one iota of difference. As far as Jonah was concerned, he didn’t have a father and was quite happy to keep it that way.
As if on cue, he spotted J.D. in the crowd, deep in discussion with people he knew were friends of the bride and groom. He also spotted Liam’s mother, Gwen O’Sullivan, a few feet away, clearly keeping a respectable distance between herself and her ex-husband. He admired her poise and elegance and the way she’d dropped J.D. like a hot coal once she’d discovered his lies and infidelity. Jonah had met her several times, and despite expecting her to treat him with disdain and resentment, Gwen was always polite and appeared to harbor no bad feelings toward him. He’d even attended her recent birthday celebration, albeit very briefly, as a gesture of respect.
Tired of the conversation with his half brother, Jonah waved a dismissive hand and headed inside the house. The O’Sullivan ranch was the largest around, and the house looked as though it could have been on the cover of a style magazine. The O’Sullivans were third-generation money and the wealthiest family in Cedar River. But money had never impressed Jonah, even though J.D. had showered him with extravagant gifts when he was younger. Bikes, electronic equipment, even a brand-new Jeep when he got his learner’s permit. None of it had made a lick of difference. What he’d wanted back then had nothing to do with the expensive gifts that felt like a payoff.
Family.
A mom and dad and maybe a couple of siblings. Instead, there was J.D.—turning up every few months, full of excuses and handouts and time frames. A couple of days here and there, the occasional birthday, graduation...whenever he could fit them in between his real family. With postscripts about his other children. Jonah had been raised on a steady diet of tales about his half siblings and Cedar River and life on the big O’Sullivan ranch. And through all those years, they knew nothing about him. He was a guilty secret. A side note to his father’s perfect life. Until Liam had eloped with Kayla Rickard and everything had been blown out of the water in spectacular fashion.
Now, he was a part of them, drawn into their lives without his consent and feeling resistance with every fiber he possessed. Tied by blood but always the outsider, destined to be the illegitimate and unwanted son of J. D. O’Sullivan.
He shook off his thoughts and headed down the hallway and into the front living room. He’d been inside the house a couple of times, and since Gwen had decided she wanted to get a place in town and Kieran and his new bride planned on moving in, he figured his invitations would soon become more frequent. Nicola had custody of her two orphaned nephews, and Jonah had to admit the ranch would be a great place for the kids to grow up.
Jonah came to a halt in the doorway, spotting Connie by the window. She was staring out, clearly looking for some time alone. He was about to turn and leave when she said his name and turned slightly.
“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he said quickly. “I was looking for some—”
“Downtime?” she suggested, cutting him off. “Me, too. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings, but once everything is done and the bride and groom are relaxed and happy, I always seem to need a little time-out.”
He took a couple of steps into the room. “How many of these things have you helped organize?”
Her mouth twisted in a smile. “A few.”
Jonah let out a breath and took another step. “Don’t you ever get tired of it?”
“Tired of what?”
“Doing things for everyone else.”
She turned fully to face him, and he was struck by how effortlessly beautiful she was. Even with her tightly coiffed hair, purple dress and perfect makeup...there was a naturalness about her that affected him on a kind of primal level. He tried to ignore it, tried to deny it—but there was no denying the truth. He was hot for Connie Bedford. Raging hot. And he didn’t know what the hell to do about it. He’d never been at the mercy of his libido before.
“I’ve always considered it a privilege to do things for others.”
He laughed humorlessly. “God, you’re naive.”
“Because I like to help people?”
“Because you let people walk all over you.”
She moved, taking a couple of long strides. “Like who?”
“Liam,” he said pointedly.
“He’s my employer,” she shot back.
“Didn’t you look after his kid last night?” Jonah reminded her. “Is babysitting in your job description, too?”
“They had trouble finding a replacement sitter on short notice and the whole family was at the rehearsal dinner.”
“I know,” he said and moved to stand behind the couch, watching her, fascinated as her cheeks scorched with color. “I was there.”
“So, you know the whole story.”
“I know my brother takes advantage of you. I know you pick up J.D.’s dry cleaning. I know you do errands for Gwen O’Sullivan.”
She moved closer, until there was only the sofa between them, her chest heaving. Jonah tried his best not to stare, but she was damned impossible to ignore. He’d had his fair share of relationships and lovers, but he couldn’t ever remember wanting a woman the way he wanted Connie.
“Obviously you’ve never done an unselfish thing in your life.”
“It’s not unselfish to refuse to become someone’s doormat,” he offered.
Her hands jerked to her hips in dramatic fashion. “I think that’s the most insulting thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“Then you’ve lived a sheltered life.”
“I’d rather that than be mean-spirited and unpleasant. I can’t believe you’re actually related to the O’Sullivans.”
Jonah rocked back a little on his heels. “You’re not the only one.”
“You’re not fit to wipe their boots.”
Irritation kerneled in his chest and Jonah was suddenly all out of patience. Her blind faith in the O’Sullivans was astounding. “No need to...not when you’re at their beck and call day and night.”
She glared at him. “I don’t know how I ever...ever...”
Her words trailed off. “How you what?” he shot back. “Ended up in my hotel room with your tongue in my mouth and—”
“You’re such a jerk,” she said, cutting him off. “How do you sleep at night?”
He raised a brow. “If you’d stayed in my bed that night, you would have found out.”
Chapter Two
Connie shook her head. “You’re such a conceited ass. Bailing was the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”
He scowled, clearly not liking the fact that she was laughing at him. “Speaking the truth doesn’t make me conceited, Con—” He stopped and she knew he fought hard to check himself. “I mean, Miss Bedford. Your dedication to the O’Sullivans might seem honorable, but it also makes me wonder why. Money doesn’t appear to be your motive. Or power, since you’ve worked for Liam for five years and the old man before that. I don’t know...maybe you’re infatuated with one of them.”
Connie took a moment to absorb his words. And then she laughed. “Really? That’s your theory on my loyalty?”
He shrugged, then tugged at his collar. “It makes sense. You and Liam spend a lot of time together,” he said quietly. “It explains your devotion and utter compliance to everything he says and does.”
If she didn’t know better, she could have sworn that he was actually jealous. But that made no sense. They were nothing to one another. “Beside the fact that he’s married and that Kayla and your brother are very happy together, Liam is my boss. And my friend. But since you probably don’t have any friends, I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
Now he laughed, a soft, deeply resonant chuckle that affected her deep down. She hated that he could do that. In fact, she despised everything about him, deciding that sexual attraction definitely had nothing to do with actually liking someone.
“Have I pushed a button?”
“I wouldn’t let you close enough to push my buttons.”
“Now, we both know that’s not entirely true,” he said quietly, his dark hair shining beneath the light, his blue eyes glittering brilliantly.
“You’re insufferable,” she said in a huff. “If you must know, that night was completely out of character for me. I’d had a bad day and decided to have a drink after work. I didn’t expect to see you at the bar. And then one thing led to another and...well...you know the rest.”
“You mean the part where you sprinted to my room?”
Heat infused her cheeks. “I would hardly call it a sprint. Anyway, you weren’t exactly difficult to convince.”
“I thought a beautiful woman wanted me to make love to her,” he said quietly, his voice as seductive as a caress. “I’m not made of stone, despite what you may think.”
All Connie could think was the fact that he’d just said she was beautiful. The words rattled around in her head with the deafening power of a freight train. She’d never considered herself beautiful. Well groomed, maybe, with nice hair and an average build...but knowing Jonah thought she was beautiful made her belly roll over and over.
“I don’t think you’re made of stone,” she said and shrugged. “It’s only that sometimes you can be so...so infuriating.”
“Part of my charm.”
“You’re not charming,” she assured him.
“Not like Liam, eh?”
She made an impatient sound. “Would you stop inferring that I have feelings for your brother? Because I don’t.”
“Prove it,” he challenged. “Criticize him.”
She scowled. “I’m not going to play stupid games to help inflate your ego.”
“My ego is rock solid,” he said. “It needs to be around you, Miss Bedford.”
Connie didn’t miss the insinuation—or his return to formality. “If it’s any consolation, it wouldn’t have mattered whose room I was in that night...the outcome would have been the same. I’m only thankful that it was someone as rational and considerate as you. I guess it could have ended very differently if I’d been with someone else.”
His gaze narrowed. “Is that a compliment?”
She shrugged. “An observation.”
“No means no,” he said quietly. “Always. There are no half measures when it comes to a person’s choice about who they sleep with.”
Connie’s suspicions were confirmed. Despite the rude way he’d dismissed her that night, he had integrity. No means no. Such a simple statement had more meaning to her than he could ever understand.
“I don’t sleep around. I don’t have one-night stands. I’m a boring, stay-at-home girl who likes to read romantic novels and curl up on the couch with my dogs.”
“I figured you’d be a cat person.”
She relaxed a fraction. “Nope. Four dogs. And a goldfish.”
“No boyfriend?”
“No,” she replied, stunned that he’d asked her something so personal. “You?”
His mouth twisted. “I like girls.”
Connie chuckled. “I meant, no girlfriend?”
“Haven’t we already established that I came to this wedding stag? Remember how I forgot to RSVP?”
“I thought you did that simply to stick it to the O’Sullivans,” she suggested. “You know, to prove that they don’t own you.”
His mouth curled at the edges. “I really do have a bad reputation.”
“Yes,” she said. “You do.”
“You know, Connie, I’m not all bad.”
The way he unexpectedly said her name again made her toes curl. He had seduction imprinted in his DNA, she was certain. “Time will tell, I suppose. And I really need to get back to the party.”
“Hoping to catch the bouquet?”
Her breath hiked up. “No. Have to give the band their final payment.”
“So, doing O’Sullivan bidding right until the end?”
Her temper quickly returned. “Doing my job. See you later. Or not at all. Either would suit me just fine.”
By the time she made it back down the hallway, Connie had slowed down her breathing and calmed her nerves. Other than that crazy night, it was the longest and most in-depth conversation she’d had with him in ten months. He tried so hard not to fit in with his family, when the truth was that he was actually more like them than he’d ever admit. Particularly Liam and J.D., who were both confident and self-assured and strong. Jonah possessed those qualities in spades. And something else...an aura of don’t mess with me arrogance that, rather than having her running for hills, was sexy and thrilling and somehow a powerful turn-on. She secretly liked that about him, that he didn’t roll over and do what was expected. While her allegiance would always be with the O’Sullivans, she admired his determination not to take the easy route and try to fit in without complaint. Of course, her feelings were illogical. He openly resisted getting close to his family and her loyalty to them made it impossible for her to excuse his behavior.
But her dreams were a different story. In them, she could want him without explanation. She could watch as he slew dragons with his indifference and determination to remain aloof and apart from the people with whom he shared blood and birthright.
I’ve read way too many romantic novels.
But didn’t every woman have the right to fall for a Heathcliff every now and then?
It wasn’t as though he was marriage material. It was a fantasy. A secret longing for a man who possessed brooding sexiness in abundance, and probably had ice water in his veins. And Connie tended to doubt she’d ever get married, anyhow. Maybe marriage wasn’t in her makeup. She’d become a career woman through necessity and felt safe in her cocoon of work, home, friends...and the O’Sullivans. Working at the hotel since she was sixteen had shaped her path; being Liam’s assistant for the past five years and working for J.D. before that had given her purpose and strength and empowerment—everything she’d so desperately needed. Jonah was wrong—she wasn’t a doormat. She did everything with a measure of control and commitment, obliging others because that was her choice.
My choice to say yes.
My choice to say no.
Survivor’s code, ingrained into the very fiber of her soul. Without it, she would have frayed at the seams until there was nothing left of who she’d been before that terrible day when her life had irrevocably changed.
“What are you doing, hiding out in here?”
Connie swiveled on her heels, realizing she’d ended up in the kitchen and that J. D. O’Sullivan was hanging out behind the countertop, drinking what appeared to be antacid. A lot of people considered him to be loud and blustery and arrogant—and perhaps he was—but Connie also knew he was compassionate and generous and kind, even if he didn’t always allow the world to see it. He had a reputation for speaking his mind and had no tolerance for fools. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Yes, Jonah Rickard was more like his father than he would ever willingly admit.
“I could ask you the same thing,” she said and winked.
“Damn ulcer is acting up,” he admitted and held up the glass. “I thought this might help.”
It occurred to her that it probably wasn’t something he’d openly acknowledge, but Connie had arranged for more than one specialist appointment for J.D. over the years.
“Spicy food, stress and alcohol,” she reminded him. “You know the drill...they’re all off the menu.”
He shrugged his giant shoulders. “Well, the food and booze I can easily give up. The stress is the hard one.”
“I don’t imagine being back in this house is helping,” she offered gently, recalling how he’d been kicked out of the ranch by his very angry wife over ten months earlier. Now he lived permanently at the hotel, despite both Liam and Kieran offering to have him come live with them. But Connie knew J.D. was too proud and stubborn to hang on to the fringes of his son’s lives. “I know Kieran is happy you are here today.”
“I wouldn’t let my son down,” he said and then smiled ruefully. “I’ve done enough of that lately.”
“Kieran has a big capacity for forgiveness. So does Liam,” she added gently.
“But not Sean and Jonah,” he said. “Right?”
Connie half shrugged. “I don’t know either of them as well,” she replied and figured it was the truth. Sean had lived in Los Angeles for over a decade, and Jonah was, well...Jonah. “But I’m sure they’ll all come around.”
“Maybe Sean,” he said hopefully. “Jonah, however, is another story altogether.”
“I’m sure he’s not as difficult as he makes out.”
J.D. laughed and it crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Ha, you’ve met my youngest son, right?”
Met him. Touched him. Kissed him. Dreamed of him.
Connie swallowed hard. “Sometimes people say and do things they don’t mean to cover up how they really feel, and so they don’t appear vulnerable. Perhaps that’s it. Maybe he’s afraid to show you how he really feels.”
“I know how he really feels,” J.D. said and winced. “He hates me.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t.”
“He does,” J.D. said. “And there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“You’re right about that.”
Jonah.
Connie turned her head and saw him standing in the doorway. She noticed that J.D.’s broad shoulders sagged slightly and saw sadness in the older man’s expression. There was nothing but resentment and bitterness emanating from Jonah, and it was aimed directly at his father.
And at her.
* * *
Jonah was so furious he couldn’t stand being in his own skin. J.D. and Connie, talking about him in hushed voices behind his back as though it was everyday conversation. And maybe it was. Maybe he was the usual topic of conversation for the whole damned family, or the whole damned town!
But that didn’t mean he had to like it, or allow it. J.D. had done enough damage over the years.
“Have you both finished dissecting me?” he demanded.
“We were just—”
“I know what you were doing,” he shot back, glaring at the other man, not daring to look toward Connie. “And I want it to stop.”
The silence was suddenly deafening. Every time he was near J.D., his resentment fired up; every time he thought about the man who’d so recklessly become involved with his mother, Jonah experienced an acute sense of loathing and rage. It never abated, not in all the years since he was old enough to understand the situation. Kathleen had left Cedar River—left her family—so she could have her baby in secret and not blow the O’Sullivan empire apart. He understood his mother’s motives, and he respected them, but he hated J.D. and everything he stood for—his dishonesty, his betrayal, his lack of integrity and honor—and vowed he would never demonstrate those qualities. Vowed to become a better man than J. D. O’Sullivan.
“Jonah, I think your dad just meant that—”
“Don’t call him that,” he growled, meeting her gaze for the first time since he’d entered the room. She blanched, and he registered a sharp feeling of guilt somewhere through the haze that was his rage. “This situation has nothing to do with you... It’s about him and me and my mother. Please stay out of it.”
“I can’t do that,” she said and he watched as her throat rolled over convulsively. “I care too much about your family and I won’t see them hurt...not by anyone.”
“Connie,” J.D. said quickly. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
“That’s good advice,” Jonah shot back and glared at Connie, suddenly mesmerized by the way she glared back, not giving an inch. “You should take it.”
She took a long breath. “You know something,” she said quietly, her chin held at a tight angle. “You really don’t deserve them.”
It was a deliberate and cutting remark. Then she said goodbye to J.D. and left the room, ignoring Jonah completely. But he felt damned by the trace of her perfume that floated past him as she disappeared through the doorway. Jonah cursed his own stupidity before turning to glare at the other man in the room.
“She’s quite a girl,” J.D. said and half smiled. “Don’t you think?”
“I’d rather not speculate.”
“That’s reassuring,” he replied. “She’s a nice young woman and shouldn’t be messed with.”
Jonah almost laughed out loud. “I have no intention of messing with Miss Bedford,” he said, ignoring the twitch in his stomach. “She’s way too invested in your family. Actually, I’m not sure if it’s you or Liam that she’s infatuated with.”
J.D. laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Liam’s happily married and I’m old enough to be her father.”
“We all know your weakness for younger women.”
The older man’s smile disappeared. “I was thirty-one when I fell in love with your mother. She was eighteen. That’s not exactly a lifetime between us.”
Jonah wanted to cover his ears. He’d heard the story countless times. J.D. had fallen for Kathleen. They had an affair. She got pregnant. J.D. wanted to come clean and admit to his adultery, but Kathleen had persuaded him to remain in Cedar River and stay with his family while she gave up everything...for him.
Yeah, he knew the story...knew his mother, too, had made her choices over the years. But he still blamed J.D. entirely for taking advantage of a much younger woman.
“I don’t want to have this conversation again,” Jonah said quietly, harnessing his emotions as best he could.
“At this stage, I’ll take any conversation I can get.”
Jonah scowled. “Why the hell would you want to?”
“Because you’re my son.”
He winced. “You know I’m not interested in being anything to you.”
J.D. nodded. “I know.”
“But you still keep coming back for more of the same?” He shook his head. “I don’t understand it.”
J.D. placed his big hands on the counter. “Well, I’m hoping that one day, you just might.”
Jonah ignored the odd sensation suddenly seeping through his blood. He didn’t want to spend time with J.D. He didn’t want to waste time listening to platitudes about fathers and sons.
“I’ve gotta go,” he said and fished his car keys from his pocket, thinking he’d had just about enough wedding nonsense and happy family time for one day. He needed the solitude of his apartment. Well, technically it was Kieran’s apartment, but he’d been bunking there off and on since his mother had moved back to Cedar River. Sometimes he stayed at the hotel, but with J.D. now in residence there, the less time he spent at O’Sullivans, the better.
Jonah left the room and headed outside. He offered a quick goodbye to the bride and groom, knowing it was bad form to leave the ceremony before they did, and tried to shake off the guilt he felt as he drove home. The huge Victorian house, which had been split into several apartments, greeted him with the kind of quiet, uncomplicated seclusion he favored. Okay...so maybe that was a stretch. It wasn’t as though he longed for his own company. He’d always had a circle of friends and coworkers and socialized as much as the next person. In Portland he still had a few close friends from college and enjoyed their company. But regularly visiting South Dakota had been a no-brainer. He wasn’t about to let his mother wade through her past without him close at hand. She needed him. He had a spacious and modern apartment in Portland, a vast contrast with the old-fashioned Victorian, with its shuttered windows and mix of old and new furnishings. Before Kieran had leased the place, it had been Kayla’s home. Sometimes he felt stifled by the familial connection to the apartment, but it was convenient and the rent was reasonable.