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“I thought so at the time,” she said. “I worked for an organic food company and managed the human resources department.”
“Is that where you met your fiancé?”
Her expression narrowed, and she glanced at him. “You know about that?”
“Liam told me,” he replied. “I figured Kayla told him. Why did you break up?”
She came around the counter with the coffees and the plate of cannoli, placed them on the table and sat down. “He broke it off when he realized he was still in love with his ex-wife.”
He grimaced. “Ouch.”
“Yes,” she said and pushed the plate toward him. “It sucked. Although, probably not as much as what happened to you.”
Kieran grabbed the cannoli, took a bite and then remembered how much he’d always liked Nicola’s cooking. Even in high school, she’d had a flair in the kitchen. “I guess you want to know the whole story?”
She shrugged and sipped her coffee. “Like I said before, it’s none of my business.”
He finished the cannoli in three bites. “Okay, I won’t tell you.”
“Suit yourself.”
He lifted up the mug, took a sip and then watched her over the rim. Her eyes had darkened, and he knew the defiant lift of her chin was a facade. She had matured into an incredibly beautiful woman, and suddenly he wasn’t in any kind of hurry to finish his coffee and leave. Her eyes, the delicately arched brows, her full, pink mouth, all a riveting combination of color and lovely angles. His gaze lingered on her mouth, and he experienced a sudden tightening in his groin. He knew it was stupid, knew that thinking about Nicola as anything other than an old flame was pointless. She hadn’t forgiven him. And he didn’t want to get involved with anyone. But still, he wasn’t quite ready to get up and end the evening.
And for the first time in forever, he actually wanted to talk.
“She left me for my best friend,” he said quietly.
Her gaze met his, and she held it and tilted her head a fraction. For a second, he saw compassion in her expression, a fleeting understanding that she clearly didn’t want to feel because she obviously still hated him.
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “Thanks.”
“And the other thing?”
Discomfort pierced his chest. It was always that way. Nearly two years on, and he still felt the pain of loss and betrayal as though it were yesterday. One day, he hoped the pain would lessen, that he wouldn’t wake up each morning with a hole in his heart so wide he couldn’t imagine it being filled with anything or anyone. He grappled with how much to tell her and then figured there was little point in being coy or secretive about the situation. “You mean my son?”
“Yes.”
He let out a long breath. “Christian. Who, it turns out, wasn’t my son but was actually fathered by my best friend.”
The sympathy in her expression returned. “How awful! You really don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“You can hear it from me,” he said and shrugged. “Or via one of the local gossip channels.”
“Okay,” she said, quieter than he expected. “You can tell me about him.”
Kieran’s chest tightened further, and the band of pressure at his temple returned. Fatigue spread through his limbs, and he sat back in the chair. “I believed he was my son for eighteen months before my now-ex-wife admitted the truth.”
Memories of that awful day bombarded his thoughts. Catching Tori and Phil together And then finding out the son he treasured was not really his child. He remembered Tori crying. Tori pleading. Tori telling him she should never have married him, that she loved someone else. Tori saying she wanted to be free of him and their marriage so she could raise Christian with the man she loved...the man who was his son’s real father.
“You never suspected anything?”
He shook his head. “Phil was my colleague and best friend. Tori was my wife. I guess I trusted the wrong people.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said, aching all over. “Me, too.”
* * *
Nicola’s heart felt heavy in her chest. She didn’t like the feeling. Didn’t want to imagine that she had any feelings toward Kieran other than dislike and resentment. But...his story saddened her deeply. She’d heard it anecdotally...from Kayla and her friend Connie who worked at his family’s hotel and knew everything about the O’Sullivans. So yes, she knew about his marriage ending and discovering his son was fathered by someone else. And of course she thought it was cruel and despicable. But she always managed to shrug her shoulders and wave off any feelings of sympathy or compassion for the man who had callously dumped her in front of the entire twelfth grade on the biggest day of their high school lives.
But hearing it from Kieran was different. And as much as she wanted to hang on to her resentment and rage at him in that moment, she couldn’t. Particularly as he’d gone out his way to help her with Marco. Thanks to his kindness and understanding, her nephew was now safely asleep in his bed.
“So...you divorced her?”
He shrugged lightly. “We divorced each other.”
“And Christian?” she asked, saying the child’s name almost as a whisper.
She watched as Kieran took a sharp breath and then sipped his coffee. “I didn’t want to confuse him, you know, or make things difficult...so I had to step away.”
She saw his eyes darken and experienced an odd discomfort in her chest. “That must have been hard.”
“The most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.”
“So, you don’t have any contact now?”
“No,” he replied. “I made a decision that was best for him. He needed to bond with his...with his father,” he said, swallowing hard. “And Tori didn’t want me interfering in her new life.”
Nicola tried desperately to ignore how her heart rate increased. She didn’t want to feel sympathy for him. She didn’t want to feel anything when it came to Kieran O’Sullivan. And she didn’t want to listen to his apologies, either. But she couldn’t help being drawn into their conversation. She’d always been a good listener—her career in human resources had demanded it.
“So this way, only one person got hurt...is that what you’re saying?”
He shrugged lightly again and picked up another cannoli. “Exactly. Everyone needed a do-over. Me included.”
“And that’s why you came back to Cedar River?”
“Sure,” he said and took a bite. “It was time I came home anyway...with everything that was imploding here.”
Nicola sipped her coffee and then looked at him over the rim of her mug. It was true, he certainly had a lot going on with his family. “Do you get along with your new brother?”
His mouth curled up at the edges. “You know me, Nic... I get along with everyone.”
He was right. Kieran had a reputation for being easygoing and likable. Perfect attributes for a physician. But she wasn’t fooled. “Cut the crap.”
He chuckled. “Have you met Jonah?”
“A couple of times, like at Liam and Kayla’s wedding. He seems very...intense.”
Kieran laughed. “That’s a good way to describe him. He is intense. And moody. And kind of unpleasant most of the time. But to be fair, he’s mellowed a little over the past few months. Not that I can blame him for putting up a few walls, considering he’s known about us all his life, but we didn’t know about him. He still lives in Portland but visits his mother, Kathleen, regularly.”
“She moved back to Cedar River,” Nicola remarked and then laughed humorlessly. “We’re heading back in droves.”
“She wanted to spend more time with her mother and brother—you know, Kayla’s grandmother and father.” He shrugged. “It’s become something of a confusing family tree.”
She nodded a little. “And your parents are really getting a divorce?”
“So they say,” he replied and sipped his coffee. “Mom can’t forgive him for the infidelity, even though Dad ended his affair with Kathleen before Jonah was born.”
“She’s a lot younger than him, isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” he said and sighed heavily. “She was eighteen and in love with an older man. To be honest, I don’t think my parents’ marriage was ever a love match. And Dad still appears to care for Kathleen.” He shrugged. “Who knows? I’m not exactly an expert on the subject of what constitutes a successful relationship.”
Nicola saw weariness in his expression, and her insides took a foolish plunge. “Me neither,” she admitted and managed a small smile, annoyed at herself for being so easily swayed by him, but suddenly unable to fight the feeling. “You might get married again.”
“Maybe,” he said quickly and drained his mug. “But I have zero interest on that score for the foreseeable future.”
“Not all marriages end badly,” she said and shrugged. “My parents had a happy marriage. As did Gino and his wife. And your brother and Kayla seem really happy together.”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t possible,” he remarked. “Just that I wasn’t interested in the idea.”
“So, you’ve become a cynic?”
“Exactly. Haven’t you?”
Nicola shrugged again. “I’m hopeful. But next time I intend not falling for a man who’s still in love with someone else.”
“So, you want assurances?” he laughed humorlessly. “Good luck with that.”
She felt her tension return. “Believing in people doesn’t make me naive, Kieran. I can be as cynical as the next person. Let’s face it, I’ve been dumped more than once and have had plenty of experience at being humiliated.”
He rested his elbows on the table and stared at her. “So, I guess about now is where you swear at me in Italian?”
She got to her feet and pushed the chair back. “No, it’s where I say good night.”
He stood immediately and, without another word, he grabbed his jacket and made his way to the door. Nicola hurried after him and almost plowed into his back when he came to a halt outside the living room.
“Do you have a spare bulb?” he inquired and gestured into the room.
“There’s no need to—”
“Just find the bulb, Nic,” he said and walked into the room. “And stop being a pain in the ass.”
Nicola remained in the doorway and watched as he walked across the room and flicked on a small lamp by the fireplace. “I don’t have a ladder.”
“No need for one,” he said and pointed to the wooden chair by the window. “I’ll use that.”
Of course, he was nearly a foot taller than she was and would reach the ceiling easily enough. She just had to get the spare bulb from the laundry room. “Be back in a minute.”
Except that her minute turned into about ten. There were no new bulbs in the laundry room, and she had to venture to the workshop out back and rummage through a few boxes of Gino’s tools and equipment to find what she needed. She headed back inside, locking the back door and swiftly making her way through the kitchen and down the hallway. When she got to the living room, she stopped dead in her tracks.
Kieran was lying on the sofa, legs stretched out, one arm over his forehead, clearly comfortable, and obviously fast asleep.
She pulled up alongside the sofa and looked down at him. His hair was a little long, like he’d forgotten to get it cut. And the whisker growth was too sexy for words. His feet were crossed at the ankles, and his other hand lay across his chest. She looked at his left hand, to where his wedding band would have been, and she couldn’t help wondering how long it had been since he’d taken it off. The skin was paler. So, not long, by the look of things. He must still love his ex-wife, despite what she had done to him. Love often had a way of hanging around...she’d discovered that herself in the years it took her to erase Kieran’s memory from her heart.
Nicola went to tap his shoulder but then snatched her hand back. She remembered how he’d said he’d pulled a double shift at the hospital...and then he’d driven straight over to help her out with Marco. A double shift, combined with his recent move from Sioux Falls, meant he was obviously exhausted. Guilt pressed inside her chest and, instead of waking him up, she grabbed a soft chenille blanket from the love seat by the window and gently draped it over him. He didn’t stir, didn’t move, didn’t do anything other than take a deep breath and then sigh.
As she left the room and headed upstairs, Nicola mused that, if someone had told her earlier that day that Kieran O’Sullivan would be sleeping in her house, she would have told them they were out of their mind and to go straight to hell. And she didn’t want to think about how she was trying to cling onto anger and resentment because hating him made things easier. Hating him made her forget how much she had once loved him.
And hating him made her immune to falling in love with him ever again.
Chapter Three
Kieran awoke with a crick in his neck, an aching back and two sets of curious eyes staring at him.
Marco and Johnny were both sitting on the opposite sofa clearly waiting for him to wake up. He grimaced when he spotted a ridiculously pink blanket draped over his legs and quickly swung his feet to the floor. He ran a weary hand through his hair and glanced at the clock on the wall. Seven fifty. He’d been asleep for over nine hours. And on Nicola’s couch, no less!
“Did you sleep over?” Marco asked, eyes wide.
“Looks like it,” he replied and stretched out his back.
“To make sure I was okay?”
“Of course,” he fibbed and rubbed a hand over his face. “How are you feeling, champ?”
Marco nodded. “Okay, I guess. Aunt Nicola said I don’t have to go to school today. She said I could go to JoJo’s with her. But Johnny has to go to school.”
The older boy scowled. “At least I’ve got friends at school.”
“Didn’t I specifically tell you boys not to disturb Kieran this morning?”
They all looked toward the door. Nicola stood at the threshold, dressed in a knee-length black skirt, tucked-in white blouse and black heels. Her hair was pulled back, and she wore gold loop earrings. She held a mug in one hand, and the other hand was perched on her hip. She looked smoking hot and, as awareness curdled in his blood, Kieran tried not to stare at her—but failed.
“Breakfast is on the table,” she said to the boys. “Scoot. And make sure you put the dishes in the sink when you are done.”
The kids took off as though their heels were on fire, and Nicola ruffled their hair as they passed. Then, she walked into the living room and passed Kieran the mug she carried.
“Thanks,” he said and inhaled the heady coffee aroma and tried not to stare at her legs. “And sorry I crashed.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “Sorry I made you come here last night after pulling a double shift. I think I was a little crazy with worry and didn’t think about anything else.”
“Once I sat down on this cushy couch last night the fatigue hit me.” He drank some coffee and grinned slightly. “Well, at least you have a comfy couch. Better than the ones that are usually in the doctors’ lounges at hospitals.”
Her lips curved. “Would you like breakfast? I have oatmeal on the stove.”
Kieran grimaced. “No thanks.”
She laughed softly. “Toast, then?”
Kieran got to his feet and straightened his jacket, figuring he must look a mess in his crumpled clothes and with five-day whisker growth. “I’m good. I need to head home to shower and change. And the patient seems chipper this morning,” he said, drinking the rest of the coffee and then placing the mug on one of the lamp tables. “He said you’re letting him stay home today, which is probably a good idea.”
She nodded. “He can hang out at the restaurant with me.”
“Didn’t you say you have a large tourist group coming in today that you have to cater for? Won’t he be in the way?”
Her jaw tightened. “It’s too late to call a sitter. There’s a lady down the street who regularly watches the boys for me, but she’s not available today.”
Kieran nodded, thinking it wasn’t any of his business, pulled his keys from his pocket and looked at her. “Okay...well, thanks for the couch and the coffee.”
“Thank you for coming over last night and helping me with Marco.”
He walked past her, picking up the fragrance of her perfume, and the scent quickly hitched up his awareness a notch or two. He stopped when he reached the door and turned back to face her. Her eyes looked huge in her face, and he was overwhelmed with the sudden need to stare at her some more. She was biting her bottom lip, which she also did when she was nervous, and he wondered if she’d picked up on the weird energy that was now in the room. She was close, barely a foot away from him. Desire snaked up his spine and simmered in his blood, and he swallowed hard, thinking that he hadn’t felt anything so intense for a long time.
He cleared his throat and spoke. “You know, Marco could hang out with me today. I have the next couple of days off, and I was planning on heading to the hotel this morning...my mom will be there with Liz’s youngest daughter,” he said, then explained how his mother looked after Tina for several hours once a week as a way to spend time with her granddaughter. “My mom loves kids. And I could drop him back at JoJo’s this afternoon, once you’ve finished with the tourists.”
She frowned. “I couldn’t possibly impose on you.”
“You wouldn’t be,” he assured her. “Marco is a great kid. Give me half an hour to get home and change, and then I’ll come back.”
He had no idea why, but he wanted to help her out. But she didn’t look convinced. She looked like it was the last thing she wanted or needed. “I can look after my nephews by myself.”
“I wasn’t implying that you—”
“He’ll come to work with me. Goodbye, Kieran. Thanks again.”
He was being dismissed. So he left and headed home. He checked his cell on the way out, finding a message from his brother, reminding him that he’d promised to stop by the hotel on his way home from work the night before—a fact Kieran had quickly forgotten once he’d received Nicola’s call for help. When he got back to his apartment, he showered, changed into jeans, a polo shirt and jacket and then drove into town. Ten minutes later, he was swinging into one the reserved spaces in the hotel parking lot.
O’Sullivan’s Hotel was the best in the county. Thirty rooms, two restaurants, conference rooms and a ballroom for large functions, it had a reputation for its style, ambience and service. And his brother ran the place better than their father ever had. Liam was a hard-nosed and judgmental ass, but Kieran loved his brother dearly. As he did Sean. He was even mellowing toward Jonah the more time he spent with the man. It was hard at first, knowing his father had cheated on his mom and had a secret family in another state for nearly thirty years. But it couldn’t be easy for his newfound sibling either, and he didn’t plan on making things more difficult by refusing to acknowledge that he did actually have another brother.
The foyer was already busy with guests and several staff milling around the reception area assisting them, their green corporate jackets giving them a professional and upscale look. He spotted his brother by the concierge desk and headed for him. Liam looked up and waved.
“Where were you last night?” Liam asked, one eyebrow cocked. “I thought you were coming here on your way home from work. We need to talk about Mom’s birthday thing.”
He shrugged. “I was tied up with a favor for a friend.”
Liam’s eyebrows further cocked with humor. “Making friends already? Good for you.”
His brother knew he wasn’t in any kind of emotional shape to get involved with anyone...but he wasn’t averse to making fun if he had the chance. Kieran shrugged indifferently, ignoring his brother’s tone. “No comment.”
Liam grinned. “It’s a small town. You know I’ll find out.”
Kieran managed a wry smile. “Yes, Godfather,” he said and shook his head. “But if you must know, I stopped by Nicola’s after work,” he said and then quickly explained about Marco’s injury and how he had attended to him at the hospital but then glossed over Nicola’s frantic phone call and didn’t mention how he’d ended up sleeping on her couch.
“So,” Liam mused, “you and Nicola, eh?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I need breakfast, are you coming?”
“Sure,” Liam said and hooked a thumb in the direction of the restaurant. “Mom’s already here, by the way. With Tina and Kayla and the baby.”
Liam and Kayla’s son, Jack, was three weeks old and the light of their lives. “Okay.”
“Don’t let Mom know you were hanging out with Nicola Radici. If you do, you know you’ll get the third degree. And then Mom will start sending out wedding invitations.”
Kieran spluttered. “Can’t I help out an old...a former...someone I used to...”
“Keep digging,” Liam mocked. “If the hole gets any bigger, you’ll end up in Montana.”
“Sometimes I wish I was an only child.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Liam teased. “And I think it’s great. It’s time you came back into the land of the living. I’m tired of watching you pretend to be happy. Your fake smile makes my jaw ache.”
“You know what else would make your jaw ache? My fist.”
Liam laughed. “Actually, come to think of it, this is all great timing. You should join the Big Brothers program at the hospital. I’ve been the patron of the program for a couple of years, but I think I need to pass the baton to you. I was only talking to Nicola about it a couple of weeks back. She’s been having a few problems with the younger boy... I suggested Big Brothers might be exactly what both of those kids need. And since you work at the hospital...”
Kieran’s gut churned. The last thing he wanted to do was be responsible for troubled kids looking for a brother or father figure. Particularly kids linked to Nicola. Liam should have known better than to suggest such an idea to him. He wasn’t anyone’s father. Not now. Probably not ever again.
“I need food and coffee,” he said.
Liam laughed. “Okay, let’s go.”
When they entered the restaurant, Kieran saw his mother and sister-in-law immediately. Kayla was stunningly beautiful, but she was also kind and clearly loved his brother dearly. And Kieran had never seen Liam happier.
His mother, Gwen, was clearly delighted to see him, and her happy expression made him smile. She liked having her chicks close by and was thrilled that Kieran had returned. He knew she worried about his brother Sean’s rumored wild lifestyle in LA and would be over the moon if her youngest child decided to give up his success, money and women and return home, where she believed he belonged. But Kieran wasn’t so sure of that. Sean had never been small-town. He’d always craved the action of a bigger city and had certainly carved out a successful life for himself as a music and movie producer. Kieran was different. And, for him, returning to Cedar River had been an easy decision. Staying in Sioux Falls, where everything reminded him of all he had lost, was never going to be an option.
Gwen O’Sullivan was tall and statuesque, with a silvery bob and a creaseless face that defied her sixty years. She’d been a model long ago and still carried herself as though she could grace the catwalk.
“You were missed last night,” his mother said when he reached their table. “We decided you are going to be in charge of sending out the invitations.”
His mother’s sixtieth birthday party was going to be a big bash, with out-of-state relatives already committed to the event. “We?” he echoed and smiled. “How come you’re on the organizing committee for your own party?”
“Well, if I leave it to you and Liam, I suspect nothing will get done,” she said and raised both her brows. “Thankfully, I have Kayla and Connie to help.”
Liam’s wife and Liam’s personal assistant. Kieran suddenly felt like apologizing for the fact that he was divorced and single and had inadvertently robbed his parent of her daughter-in-law and the grandchild she’d loved. Logically, he knew that there was no malice in his mother’s words. Gwen knew what he’d been through, knew how broken he was at losing his son and his marriage. But he still experienced an acute sense of failure. From his broken relationship with Nicola to his busted marriage, he clearly sucked at commitment. He glanced toward Kayla, and his sister-in-law gave him a quick, reassuring wink, as though she knew exactly what was going on in his head.