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‘If Mrs Templeton was married to a moneylender, then she must know the business and still have her husband’s clients. Wouldn’t it have been prudent on his part to marry her?’ Philip was nothing if not prudent.
‘Her? Here?’ Jane wrinkled her face in disgust. ‘It never would have worked. She’s too fond of her independence to marry again and she isn’t like Philip; she lends to all sorts of questionable people. She’s quite nasty when they don’t repay. No, he’s much better off with you.’
Laura wished she shared Jane’s confidence in her suitability for Philip and his uninterest in the widow. He might not have married Mrs Templeton, but what Jane truly knew about Philip’s relationship with her was sure to be limited. She couldn’t imagine Philip parading his paramour through the house. It was quite possible his proposal to Laura had only come about because Mrs Templeton had rejected his.
The hope she’d experienced earlier dimmed. If his heart lay elsewhere, her chances of securing it were slim. She rubbed her thumb along the tips of her fingers, unwilling to give up so soon after she’d started. There had been something between them tonight, however faint. Whatever his relationship with the widow, Laura possessed the advantage of being here before him each day. She would use that to her advantage, even if she wasn’t precisely sure how.
* * *
Philip sat behind his desk, the ledger open, the pen settled in the crease in the centre. He needed to finish the accounts tonight or it would be one more task to do tomorrow. Through the window, the moon grazed the top of the sill, looking down on the garden outside as Laura had looked down on him this morning.
Philip shifted in his chair, the tension low inside him as disconcerting as when Laura had entered the dining room. He’d sent her to Mrs Fairley out of necessity. He hadn’t expected the results to be so striking. The pale rose-coloured silk had highlighted the slight blush of her skin and exposed the roundness of her breasts. The effect had hit him hard, as had the sigh of delight when she’d slid the morsel of chicken from the silver tines with her full lips.
Philip tugged at the knot of his cravat, working the tightness off his throat. Justin had told him stories of men with strange tastes, ladies’ shoes and stockings driving them to the height of need. Philip had scoffed at the idea, until tonight. If Laura relished every meal in such an uninhibited fashion, he might develop a taste for watching her eat, naked, in the middle of his bed.
He pulled his list of things to do in front of him and wrote a reminder to instruct Mrs Palmer to remove chicken from the menu. He couldn’t endure another meal like the one tonight. He might have walked naked in front of Laura when she’d been a stranger, but he was not about to parade his more carnal needs in front of his future mother-in-law or his overly precocious sister.
The item added, he studied the list. Only a few things remained. Almost every one related to Laura. He stuck the pen in its stand, disturbed by how quickly she’d wound her way into his life. Though if any of the tasks on the list wrought the transformation the single visit to Mrs Fairley had achieved, he’d gladly put everything aside to see Laura off to the stay maker.
It was what lay beneath the stays which interested him the most.
His loins tightened again and he stood, trying to pace off the agitating desire. There’d been no one since Arabella. Many times Justin had urged Philip to follow him to his pleasure haunts, but he’d refused. Unlike Justin, Philip didn’t allow his carnal cravings to guide his decisions, though he’d come perilously close to letting them influence him tonight. Only the greatest control, and the open door, had kept him from kissing Laura. She’d have allowed him the liberty, he was sure. He’d caught the invitation in the faint parting of her lips and the eagerness in her eyes.
His steps slowed as he reached the centre of the carpet. It wasn’t just the unexpected surge of desire which had made him pull back tonight. It was the other, more subtle urge driving him—the craving for her presence as much as her curving body. Her willingness to express her fears and troubles had almost drawn him into revealing his own. It hadn’t been false comfort when he’d said he needed someone to share his burdens with. He did. He wanted her here. He wanted her help. How much more he desired was difficult to discern above the cracking of the ice surrounding his heart.
He stopped and removed his watch from his waistcoat pocket and checked the time. It was early still. He and Justin could spar a few rounds at the club and he might shift some of the lingering discomfort distracting him tonight.
He closed the watch case and slid his thumb over the smooth gold, the memory of Laura’s skin beneath his as troubling as his behaviour with her tonight. She’d caught the reluctance in his caress as easily as he’d noted the hesitation in her answer to his question about being here. At least her hesitation had been honest and affirmative. It was more than he’d expected after this morning’s debacle. Sadly, he hadn’t been as unguarded with her.
He dropped the watch back in his pocket and rang for Chesterton, eager to be at his boxing club. He didn’t need to bare his soul like some poet to establish a solid relationship with Laura. What he needed was time and knowledge. In the coming days, as he taught her his business and she became further enveloped in his life, they would come to know each other and the awkwardness they’d experienced today would lessen. He would keep the hardness inside him hidden as well as the sense of failure fuelling it. They would build a relationship on mutual respect and affection, not worries and fears. They would enjoy a solid future together. The past need not trouble them.
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