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She munched away on her toast and watched him tuck into his huge breakfast, which he ate whilst sitting with her on the bed. He chatted away when he could, pleasing her with the news that the comment she’d made yesterday about never being able to resist a buy-one, get-one-free sale had inspired him to make such an offer with his hotel in Hong Kong.
Stay one week, get one free was now posted on its website and was already bringing in results with scads of bookings.
‘We won’t make a great profit on the accommodation,’ he told her. ‘But empty rooms don’t return a cent. Hopefully, the type of guest this promotion attracts will spend all the money they think they’ve saved in other places in the hotel. Pierce thought I was crazy, but that was yesterday. This morning he’s singing my praises. Says I’m a genius. Forgive me for not telling him that my little genius is my girlfriend. Male ego is a terrible thing.’
Tara suspected that it was.
But it was also an attractive thing. It gave Max his competitiveness, and his drive. It made him the man he was, the man she loved.
‘Isn’t it unusual to have a male PA?’ she remarked, somewhat idly.
‘Unusual maybe. But wise, given the amount of time we spend overseas together.’
Tara blinked as the meaning behind Max’s words sank in. ‘Did you hire Pierce because he’s a man?’
‘You mean because I didn’t want to risk becoming involved with a female secretary?’
‘Yes.’
‘Absolutely. Been there, done that, and it was messy.’
‘How long ago?’
‘A good year or so before I met you.’
‘Did you sleep with her?’
Max pulled a face. ‘I wish you hadn’t asked me that.’
‘Did you sleep with her?’
‘Once or twice.’
‘Was it once, or twice?’
‘More than that, actually. Look, it was messy, as I said.’
‘Tell me about it.’
He sighed. ‘I’d rather not.’
‘I want to know. You know all about my past.’
‘Tara, you don’t have a past.’
‘Yes, I do. I might not have slept with guys but I made out with quite a few. I told you all about them that first night. I want to know, Max. Tell me.’
‘OK, but it isn’t pretty.’
‘Was she pretty?’
‘Pretty? No, Grace was not pretty. Not plain, either. Very slim. Nicely groomed. With red hair. Out of a bottle. She was already my personal assistant when Dad had his stroke. Up till then I’d taken care of the money side of things in the firm, here at home in Sydney. Suddenly, I had to go overseas. A lot. I took her with me. The man she was living with at the time didn’t like it and broke up with her. We’d never been involved before but all of a sudden, we were together every day of the week. We were both lonely, and stressed out. One night, over too many drinks, she made a pass at me and it just happened. It wasn’t love on my part. And she said it wasn’t on hers. It was more a matter of mutual convenience. I should have stopped it. I still feel guilty that I didn’t. Finally, when I tried to, she told me she was pregnant.’
Tara sucked in sharply.
‘She wasn’t,’ he went on. ‘It was just a ploy to get me to marry her. Frankly, I was suspicious right from the start. I’d always used condoms and there’d never been an accident, not like that one I had with you last year. When I insisted on accompanying her to a doctor to find out how far pregnant she was, she broke down and confessed she wasn’t at all.’
‘And if she had been, Max? What then? What would you have done?’
He shrugged. ‘I honestly don’t know. But she wasn’t, so I didn’t have to face that dilemma. Thank God. But it made me wary, I can tell you. Hence, Pierce.’
‘I see. And what happened to her?’
‘I’m pleased to say she went back home to the man she’d been living with before. I had a note from her some months later to say they were getting married, and this time she really was having a baby. I was happy for her because I suspect she thought she was past having a child. She wasn’t all that young, you see. She was forty by then.’
‘An older woman,’ Tara said with an edge to her voice. ‘And an experienced one, I’ll bet. Did you learn some of those kinky games from her, Max? Was that why you couldn’t stop? Because she never had to be persuaded to finish anything she started?’
‘Stop it, Tara,’ Max snapped. ‘Stop it right now. You have no reason to be jealous of Grace. I’m sorry my past is not as pure as yours but I won’t be cross-questioned on it. And I won’t apologise for it. I’m a mortal man. I’ve made mistakes in my life, but hopefully I have learned from them.’
Putting aside his breakfast tray, he stood up. ‘I think perhaps I should get going before you find something else to argue about. I can see you’re out of sorts this morning in more ways than one. When you do feel well enough to go home, for pity’s sake use the credit card I gave you to take a taxi this time. I noticed in the statements I receive that you never use the darned thing these days.’
‘Fine,’ she said, wanting him to just go so that she could cry.
His eyes narrowed on her. ‘I wish I knew what was going on in that pretty head of yours.’
‘Not much. Blonde-bimbo mistresses aren’t known for their brains.’
‘Tara…’
‘I know. I’m acting like a fool. Forgive me.’ Tears pricked at her eyes.
‘Oh, Tara…’ And he started walking towards her.
She knew, without his saying a word, that he was going to take her into his arms. If he did that, she was going to disintegrate and say even more stupid things.
‘Please don’t come near me,’ she said sharply. ‘I smell of sick.’
He stopped, his eyes tormented. ‘I don’t want to leave you on this note.’
‘You can make it up to me next weekend in Auckland, when I feel better.’
‘That’s a week away.’
‘Ring me from Hong Kong, then. But not tonight. Tonight I want to go to bed early and sleep. I’m wrecked.’
He smiled. ‘Same here. I’ll be sleeping on that plane. All right, I’ll ring you tomorrow night. Can I peck you on the forehead?’
‘If you must.’
‘Oh, I must,’ he said softly as his lips brushed over her forehead. ‘I must…’
Tara waited till he was definitely gone before she dissolved into some very noisy weeping.
CHAPTER EIGHT
TARA stared at the blue line, all her fears crystallised.
She was pregnant.
Stumbling back from the vanity basin, she sank down onto the toilet seat, her head dropping into her hands.
But somehow, she was beyond tears. She’d cried for ages after Max left. Cried and cried.
It had been close to two o’clock by the time she’d pulled herself together enough to get dressed and go downstairs to buy a pregnancy-testing kit from the chemist shop in the foyer.
And now there was no longer any doubt. Or guessing. She was going to have Max’s baby.
Tara shook her head from side to side. It wasn’t fair. She’d taken every precaution. This shouldn’t be happening to her. What on earth was she going to do?
Tara sucked in deeply as she lifted her head. What could she do?
Nothing. The same way Jen had done nothing when Dale had got her pregnant. The Bond sisters hadn’t been brought up to have abortions.
Not that Tara wanted to get rid of Max’s baby. If she could just get past her fear over what Max would say and do when he found out, she might even feel happy about it.
But that was her biggest problem, wasn’t it?
Telling Max.
What if he accused her of deliberately getting pregnant? Even worse, what if he demanded she get a termination?
That would be the death knell of their relationship, she knew. Because it would prove to her once and for all that he didn’t really love her.
A huge wave of depression washed through her, taking Tara lower than she’d ever been in her life before. If she discovered Max didn’t really love her, how could she stand it? How would she cope?
You’ll have to cope, girl, came back the stern answer. You’re going to become a mother. You’re going to be needed. Having some kind of breakdown is simply not on.
Tara squared her shoulders as her self-lecture had some effect. But when she thought of having to tell her own mother about the baby she wilted again.
Not yet, Tara decided with a shudder. She couldn’t tell her yet. Maybe she wouldn’t tell Max yet, either. First babies didn’t show for quite a while. Maybe she could delay the confrontation with Max till she was over four months, past the safe time for a termination. As much as Tara was confident he couldn’t succeed in talking her into an abortion, she didn’t want him to even try.
Unfortunately, she had no idea just how far pregnant she actually was. That was her first job. To find out.
Jen, Tara thought with a lifting of spirit. Jen had a nice doctor that she’d gone to when she was having her babies. Tara had gone with her a couple of times and had really liked him. On top of that, Jen wouldn’t be too shocked, or read her the Riot Act. How could she when she’d got pregnant herself when she’d only been seventeen?
Yes, she would tell Jen, then ask her to arrange an appointment with her doctor. Preferably for this week, before her supposed trip to New Zealand. Tara need to know where things stood. Though really, unless her morning sickness went away, she couldn’t see herself going anywhere overseas for ages.
Tara stood up and returned to the bedroom, where she sat down on Max’s side of the bed and picked up the phone. After pressing the number for an outside line, she was about to punch in Jen’s number when she realised she hadn’t called her mother at all this weekend. Yet she’d promised to let her know when she’d be back.
Tara sighed. Really, once Max was on the scene, she couldn’t think about anything or anyone else. The man had obsessed her these last twelve months. He probably would have obsessed her more after this incredible weekend, if his baby hadn’t come along to put a halt to the proceedings. As much as she had thrilled to his forceful lovemaking—and it didn’t seem to have hurt the baby—she really couldn’t let him continue to make love to her in such a wild fashion.
Which meant her idea of keeping the baby secret for weeks wouldn’t work. Max wouldn’t understand why she wanted him to go back to his former style of slow, gentle lovemaking all of a sudden.
No. She would have to tell him the truth. And soon.
Now Tara wasn’t sure whether to view this pregnancy as a saviour, or one huge sacrifice all round. No travelling overseas. No adventurous sex. Possibly, no Max at all!
Her chin trembled at this last thought.
Oh, life was cruel. Too cruel.
Tara slumped down on the bed and burst into tears again, the phone clutched in her hands. This time, her crying jag was considerably shorter than the last. Only ten minutes or so.
I’m definitely getting it together, she told herself as she dabbed at her eyes with the sheet, then took several gathering breaths.
‘Time to ring Mum,’ she said aloud, proud of her firm voice, and her firm finger. The number entered, she waited for her mother to answer.
‘Hi there.’
‘Oh. Oh, Jen. It’s you!’
‘Hi, Tara. Yep. It’s me. I came over to visit Mum. She seemed a bit down. Dale’s minding the kids. We’re playing Scrabble and eating far too much cake. I presume his lord and master is in town?’
‘Er—Was. He’s gone now.’
‘Brother, he doesn’t stay long these days, does he?’
‘Jen, can we talk? I mean…can Mum hear what you’re saying?’
‘Hold it a sec. Mum, it’s Tara…Tara, Mum wants to know when you’re coming home.’
‘Shortly.’
‘Shortly, Mum,’ Tara heard Jen say. ‘Why don’t you go make us a cuppa while I have a chat with my little sister? I haven’t talked to Tara in ages. Great. I’m alone now, Tara,’ she said more quietly. ‘What’s up?’
‘I…I’m pregnant.’
Jen stayed silent for a second, then just said, ‘Bummer.’
‘Is that it? Just bummer? I was hoping for some words of sympathy and wisdom.’
‘Sorry. It was the shock. So how did this happen? I mean, I know how it happened. You had sex. I meant…did you forget the Pill one day or something?’
‘Nope. Took it right on the dot every day.’
‘Now, that is a real bummer. I was at least stupid and careless when I fell pregnant. Oh, Tara, what are you going to do?’
‘Have my baby. The same way you did.’
‘Yeah. We’re suckers for doing the right thing, aren’t we? So does Max know yet? I presume not.’
‘No. I only found out myself a few minutes ago. The test went bluer than blue.’
‘What do you think he’ll say?’
‘My head goes round and round every time I think about that. He’s not going to be happy.’
‘Men are never happy over unexpected pregnancies. But if he loves you, he’ll stick by you. Dale went ballistic at first but after a while he calmed down, and really he was like a rock after that. Much better than me, actually. I cried for weeks and weeks.’
‘I remember.’
‘Do you think Max might ask you to marry him?’
‘He’s made it clear that marriage and kids are definitely not on his agenda, so your guess is as good as mine.’
‘No, it isn’t, Tara. You know the man. I don’t. Does he love you?’
‘He says he does.’
‘You don’t sound convinced.’
Tara sighed. ‘I’m a bit mixed up about Max at the moment.’
‘Is the pregnancy causing that, or what’s going on in your relationship right now? Mum told me he’s hardly ever around any more.’
Tara resented having to defend Max but, in fairness to the man, she felt she should. ‘He’s been very busy with all the world crises in the tourist industry. On the plus side, he did ask me just this weekend to quit my job and travel with him in future.’ Tara didn’t add that she was more qualified for the role of travelling companion since finding her sexual wings.
‘Wow! And what did you say to that? Silly question. Yes, of course. I know you’re crazy about the man.’
‘I can’t see myself travelling at all in the near future. I’m sick as a dog every morning. I need to see a doctor, Jen. Do you think you could get an appointment with your doctor this week?’
‘He might be able to fit you in. But he won’t be able to cure you of morning sickness. You’ll just have to ride that out. Have a packet of dry biscuits by your bed and eat a couple before you get up. That helps. So, how far gone are you?’
‘That’s another thing. I don’t know. Before this weekend, I hadn’t seen Max in almost a month. Yet I had a period whilst he was away. At least, I thought I did. There was some bleeding when my period was due.’
‘Yeah, that can happen. You’re probably about six weeks gone if you’re chucking up. But you need to have it checked out. Don’t worry. I’ll explain to the receptionist that it’s an emergency. Now, when are you going to tell lover-boy?’
‘Max,’ Tara corrected firmly. ‘Call him Max.’
‘I’d like to call him lots of things, actually. But Max isn’t one of them. Look, once you’ve been to the doctor and had things properly confirmed, you have to tell him. Even if he doesn’t want to marry you, he’s legally required to support this baby. You have no idea how much having children costs these days. Do you have private health cover?’
‘For pity’s sake, Jen, do you have to be so…so…pragmatic? I’ve just found out I’m having a baby. It’s a very emotional time for me.’
‘You can be emotional later. First things first, which is your welfare and the welfare of your child. Trust me. I know better than you in this.’
‘I wish I hadn’t told you at all!’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. You need all the support you can get. Which reminds me. You really should tell Mum.’
‘Are you kidding? I’m going to delay that disaster area for as long as possible. Promise me you won’t tell her, Jen. Right now. Promise.’
‘OK. I think you’re wrong, but it’s your call. Speaking of calls, I’ll ring the surgery first thing tomorrow morning. Then I’ll ring you at work to let you know. I’ll come with you, of course.’
‘Would you? Oh, Jen, that would be great. I…I feel kind of…Oh, I don’t know. I just can’t seem to get my head around all this. A baby, for heaven’s sake. I’m going to have a baby!’ Tears threatened again.
‘A beautiful baby, I’ll warrant. And you’ll love it to pieces.’
Tara gulped down the lump in her throat. ‘Will I? I’ve never thought of myself as good mother material. I’m too…restless.’
‘You just didn’t know what you wanted. Having a baby will bring your life into focus. Er—we’d better sign off now before Mum comes back.’
‘Yes, I really couldn’t cope with the third degree she’d give me. You won’t forget to call me tomorrow?’
‘I won’t forget.’
‘OK. Bye for now.’
Jen hung up, then grimaced up at her mother, who was standing there, mugs in hand.
‘You heard that last bit, didn’t you?’
Joyce nodded.
‘She…she’s too scared to tell you,’ Jen said quietly, knowing by the look on her mother’s face that she was about to have a hissy fit.
‘But why?’ Joyce wailed, putting the mugs down on the coffee-table next to the Scrabble board and flopping down into her chair.
‘You know why, Mum. It’s the same reason I didn’t want to tell you when I was pregnant. Daughters want their mothers to be proud of them, not ashamed.’
‘But Jen, I was never ashamed of you. Just disappointed for you. And worried. You were so young. And neither of you had any money.’
‘What’s age or money got to do with it? Love’s what matters, Mum, when it comes to kids and marriage. Dale loved me and I loved him. We’ve had some tough times but we’re going to make it. Unfortunately, I’m not so sure Max Richmond loves our Tara. Certainly not enough to give up his jet-setting lifestyle. That’s why she’s in such a tizz, because she knows it too. She’s going to need a lot of support through this, Mum.’
‘But how can I support her when I’m not supposed to even know?’
‘She’ll tell you. Just give her a little time.’
‘From the sounds of things, she hasn’t told Max Richmond.’
‘Not yet. She’s just found out herself, I gather, and he’s not there.’
‘He’s never going to be there for her.’
‘Probably. But he can be forced to support her financially. At least she won’t be poor.’
‘Yes, that’s true. But Tara never wanted his money. You know she’s not that kind of girl. She just wanted him to love her.’
‘Yeah, I do know. She’s always been a real romantic. She’s been living in a fantasy world with her fantasy lover and now the real world has come up and bitten her, big time.’
Joyce was shaking her head. ‘I’ve been afraid of something like this for a long time. If that man lets her down, I’m not sure she’ll be able to cope.’
‘She’ll be upset, but she’ll cope, Mum. You brought us up to be survivors. We’re a stubborn pair. Trust me on that.’
‘You’re both good girls.’
‘More’s the pity. If Tara wasn’t so damned good, she wouldn’t have a problem.’
‘Jen, you don’t think she’d ever…’
‘No. Never in a million years. She’s going to have this baby whether lover-boy wants her to or not.’
Joyce looked shocked. ‘You mean he might try to persuade her to get rid of it?’
‘It’s highly likely, don’t you think?’
‘She does love him a lot, Jen. If he puts the pressure on, she might do what he wants. Women in love can sometimes do things they regret later.’
‘If he does that, he’ll be the one to regret it,’ Jen said fiercely. ‘Tara would never forgive him, or herself. Look, I’d better drink this tea and get on home, Mum. Don’t worry too much about Tara. Max can’t put any pressure on her yet, because she doesn’t intend telling him yet. OK?’
Joyce nodded, but inside she was beside herself with worry. Yet she could do nothing to help, because she wasn’t supposed to know!
She glanced over at Jen and tried to work out why it was that daughters always misunderstood their mothers. All she wanted was for them to be happy.
Fancy Jen thinking she’d been ashamed of her when she fell pregnant. How could she possibly be ashamed of her daughters for doing exactly what she had done herself? Fallen madly in love. Maybe she would tell them one day that she had been pregnant when she’d married her beloved Bill.
Tears filled Joyce’s eyes as she thought of the handsome man who’d swept her off her feet and into his bed before she could blink. How she’d loved that man. When he’d died, she could not bear to ever have another man touch her, though there’d been plenty who’d tried. Her daughters might be surprised to know that. But she’d only ever wanted her Bill.
‘Please don’t cry, Mum,’ Jen said, reaching over to touch her mother’s hand. ‘Tara will be fine. You’ll see.’
Joyce found a watery smile from somewhere. ‘I hope so, love.’
‘She’s strong, is our Tara. And stubborn. Max won’t find it easy to make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. And she doesn’t want to get rid of her baby. Come on, give me a hug and dry those tears. If you’re all puffy-eyed when Tara gets home, she’ll think I told you and then there’ll be hell to pay. Promise me now that you won’t let on.’
Joyce gave her daughter a hug and a promise. But it was difficult not to worry once she was alone, so she did the one thing she always did when she started to stress over one of her daughters. She took out the photo albums which contained the visual memories of all the good times they’d had as a family before her Bill died.
It always soothed her fears, looking at the man she’d loved so much and whom she still loved. She liked to talk to him; ask his advice.
He told her to hang in there, the way he always did. And to be patient. Some things took time. Time. And work. And faith.
She frowned over this last piece of advice. She had faith in Tara. The trouble was she had no faith in Max Richmond.
CHAPTER NINE
MAX replaced the receiver, a deep frown drawing his brows together. Something was wrong. He could feel it. He’d been feeling it all week.
Tara was different. Each night she’d cut his calls off after only a few minutes with some pitiful excuse. Her hair was wet. She wanted to watch some TV show. Tonight she’d said she had to go because she’d forgotten to feed her mother’s cat and her mother was out playing bingo.
As if that couldn’t have waited!
Then there was her definite lack of enthusiasm over their meeting up in Auckland. Tonight she’d even said she might not be able to make it. They were short-handed at Whitmore’s this weekend and she felt obliged to help out. Would he mind terribly if she didn’t come?
When he’d said that he definitely would, she’d sighed and said she would see what she could do, but not to count on her coming. She hadn’t said she loved him before she ended the call, the way she usually did. Just a rather strained goodbye.
Last weekend had been a mistake, Max realised. He’d frightened her.
He shook his head. Hell, didn’t she realise he didn’t really care about that kind of sex? All he wanted was to be with her.
He would ring her back, reassure her. It wasn’t late. Only eight o’clock, her time.
When Mrs Bond answered the phone, he was startled. But not for long. Hadn’t he subconsciously known Tara was lying to him?
‘Max Richmond here, Mrs Bond. Can I speak to Tara, please?’
‘No, you may not!’ the woman snapped. ‘I’m not going to let you upset her any more tonight. She’s been through enough today.’
‘What? But I didn’t upset her tonight. And what do you mean she’s been through enough today? What’s going on that I don’t know about?’
‘Oh, Mum,’ he heard Tara say in the background. ‘How could you? You promised. I should never have told you.’
‘He has to know, Tara. And the sooner the better. Why should you shoulder this burden all on your own?’
Max was taken aback. ‘Burden? What burden? Speak to me, woman. Tell me what’s going on.’