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Finally he nodded. “I’m sure you understand why I had to ask.”
“I do. Just as you must understand my first duty is to protect Tilda. She’s a sweet, compassionate girl and gifted student with a bright future ahead of her. The last thing she needs is an emotional upheaval that would only lead to disappointment.”
“Does she know her father?” Parker saw the fire reignite in her eyes. “And yes, I know it’s none of my business.”
Ginny smiled a little. “No, it’s not. And no, she doesn’t know him. Now, I hope you have a safe trip back to wherever it is you live.”
For a second he’d thought she might be softening. “I have to say, you sure are anxious to get rid of me.” He walked toward her and she seemed to shrink back, into the hall. She didn’t look all that confident now. He stopped short, not wanting to spook her further. Ironically, he’d been heading for the front door, about to give her what she wanted. “Do you hate me that much?”
“I don’t hate you, Parker.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Actually, I’m glad you came. The not knowing was hard. It’s been a while since I’ve thought about you and that last night before you left, at least consciously, but it feels good to have some closure.”
He put his hand out to her. She looked at it, hesitant, confusion swirling in her eyes, then she laid her palm on his. “I’m sorry I caused you any pain,” he said, tugging her closer.
“I don’t know what you’re expecting but—”
“Expectations are for suckers.” He’d learned that the hard way, but the lesson had stuck. “Just one drink, okay? I promise not to grill you, and I’d like to catch up before I leave. You name the time and place.”
She gazed up at him, her confusion giving way to a flicker of excitement. He hoped it was more about the electricity that still arced between them than about him mentioning leaving. “Maybe,” she said. “That’s the best I can do.”
Parker nodded. “It’s more than I deserve.” He lowered his head, and before she could protest, he planted a quick kiss on her forehead. Then he continued on to the front door before he did something stupid.
If anyone knew why he wanted to see her again he wished they’d explain it to him. He’d made his apology. Got his answer about her daughter. He should be relieved. His life was in Alaska. He was never going to leave there. The rest of the world revolved just fine without him. And luckily, he’d managed to find some peace in his life. Everything about living in his cabin, miles from civilization, suited him to a T. It was safe, free of emotional entanglements, less messy.
He and his business partner Mark Schwartz flew cargo, primarily to the outlying districts and small villages near waterways. They both flew out of Fairbanks, although they rarely ran into each other. Mark did most of the Anchorage deliveries. Parker liked delivering to the outliers.
He’d be a fool to allow anyone or anything to rob him of that life. Including the feelings building inside him. He’d felt the spark long before seeing it in Ginny’s eyes seconds ago. He’d thought about her over the years, generally with a mixture of fondness and shame. But the ache to hold her in his arms again, that was unexpected. And dangerous. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her again.
Ginny hadn’t changed. She was a smart, compassionate, beautiful woman who deserved a good man, someone to share her life with and help raise her daughter. Someone a lot better than him.
* * *
GINNY STARED AT all the new cosmetics spread across her bathroom counter, defeat settling in every fiber of her being. Eyeliner pencils, a stupidly big eyeshadow palette, tubes of tinted moisturizers, highlighting sticks and a few other items she’d already forgotten how and where to apply. Did women really use all this stuff? Or did the saleswoman at the makeup counter know a sucker when she saw one?
It had been very expensive and now Ginny wondered how she was going to manage putting it to use when her hands were still shaking. She really needed to calm down.
Parker had left five minutes ago. And she honestly believed he no longer thought Tilda was his child. If he pressed, she had the consent to adoption Meg had given her. It was as good as a power of attorney, and had been witnessed by a social worker, who’d explained Meg needed it in order to give the baby up for adoption. The father’s name had never been on any documents.
It wasn’t until after several weeks—when Ginny had bonded completely with Tilda—that she considered adopting Tilda herself. She’d even spoken to an attorney about it, but the man had had concerns about the paperwork Meg had given her, and Ginny had been too nervous to move forward and have things blow up in her face.
By that time, Tilda had felt like her own daughter, and that hadn’t changed in all these years. But she still had that paper in her safe, and she’d use it if she had to. She just hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
If Ginny chose not to meet Parker for a drink and didn’t bother to call, she was sure that would be the end of it. She’d never see him again. Which was her goal, despite the ache in her heart.
How could she still feel anything for him? Anything but disdain was nuts. He could’ve contacted her once he and his mom were in the clear. But he hadn’t.
Determined to put all thoughts of Parker aside for her big night at the reunion, she faced the makeup once again. Unfortunately, her exuberance waned as she picked up the gray liner pencil that promised a sultry, smoky-eyed look. Ginny recalled it involved a lot of smudging. Not gonna happen—she was sure she’d end up looking like a racoon. Maybe she should just bag up the lot and return to the store for some help from the saleswoman. Before she could decide, the phone rang.
“Dad?”
“Ginny. I wasn’t sure I’d catch you at home. Isn’t this your big reunion weekend?”
She couldn’t imagine how he knew that...certainly not from her. “It is.”
“I hope you’re enjoying yourself.” He paused, probably wondering what came next during a normal parent-child phone call. “How’s Tilda?”
Okay, this was getting weirder by the second. “Um, she’s fine. She’s gone camping with a friend.”
“By themselves?”
As if he cared. Ginny quashed the thought. Lately he’d been trying to mend the rift between them. The least she could do was meet him partway. “No, the whole family went.”
“Well, good, I’m glad you have the weekend to yourself. Did your old gang show up?”
“Most of them, yes. It’s fun seeing everyone. I’ve recognized quite a few people. One charmer told me I could use a bit of Botox between my eyebrows.”
Her dad barked out a laugh that had her head spinning. When had she last heard that sound come from him? Ten years? Fourteen? “Don’t listen to that nonsense,” he said. “You’re a beautiful young woman just the way you are.”
Ginny blinked. His words brought a lump to her throat. What was going on? “Dad? Is everything all right?”
“With me? Of course, I’m fine. Perhaps mellowing with age, as they say,” he said with a trace of amusement. “By the way, I heard Tilda made the dean’s list.”
Startled at first, Ginny quickly realized it wasn’t at all odd for him to know about the goings-on at Roger Williams Preparatory Academy. He and most of his cronies were alumni, including the current headmaster. Truly the “old boys club.”
“Yes, she’s doing very well.”
“I must admit, I thought you were wrong in allowing her to skip the third grade. However, I imagine she would’ve been quite bored. It seems she has a head for science.” He paused. “Honestly, Ginny, I wish you’d told me she was in an accelerated program. I’m very proud of that granddaughter of mine.”
Ginny held her tongue. He should’ve been proud of her regardless. Ginny wasn’t surprised though. This was a well-worn theme in his life. If she had stayed at Juilliard she would’ve been the apple of her father’s eye. Not an outcast.
“Yes, I’m proud of her, as well. Funny you brought up her skipping a grade. At the rate she’s going she’ll graduate early and then be off to college. I’m sure going to miss her.”
“Nonsense. You must do what’s right for the child.”
“I didn’t say I would hold her back. Although if she wasn’t at an appropriate maturity level, I wouldn’t hesitate to do just that.” Ginny’s brusque tone was met with silence. She never spoke to her dad like that. She cleared her throat. “Tilda’s SAT scores should get her a scholarship, especially now that we know MIT has her on their radar. So I don’t think I’ll have to worry about shelling out exorbitant tuition.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, you know I’ll take care of my granddaughter’s college expenses.”
Ginny waited, holding her breath, half expecting him to give her a list of conditions. The offer was an amazing turnaround on his part, and she felt equal parts gratitude and resentment. If Tilda had been an average student, would they even be having this conversation? Would they be on speaking terms at all? Plus, she knew that if he were to pay Tilda’s tuition he would insist on full input as to which university she attended.
“Thank you, Dad. That’s very generous of you,” Ginny said, choosing her words carefully. “We’ll discuss it later. I’m running a little late here.”
“All right, I didn’t mean to keep you. Give my best to Tilda.”
Out of pure selfishness, Ginny sometimes wished she hadn’t let Tilda skip third grade. She couldn’t imagine living in the house without her. They’d been through so much together. But she would never clip Tilda’s wings, or do anything that would hinder her very bright future.
Anyway, if things went well with the Rhode Island Philharmonic, Ginny would have very little time to miss anyone. She’d have a second chance at a career—not the one she could have had. There’d be no Carnegie Hall in her future. Though if she did well, there was a good chance of steady work in smaller venues, which would be just fine with her.
But that presented another problem. At thirty-two, she still had time to have babies of her own. She’d been honest with Harlow... Ginny truly did want to have a bigger family. And she wanted to experience all of motherhood...the aches and pains of pregnancy, giving birth, all of it.
Oh, Tilda would always be hers. Ginny couldn’t possibly love her more. But she knew Tilda would be thrilled with a little brother or sister, and Ginny longed for a partner to share her life, and the laughter of children to fill her house and her heart.
CHAPTER SIX
THE MOTEL MADE Parker’s cabin feel like a palace—before he’d installed the indoor plumbing. But he’d stayed in worse. At least the TV worked, although it wasn’t loud enough to compete with the soothing sound of the stone’s-throw highway serenade keeping him from getting a nap at all. It wouldn’t be so bad if he’d gotten some rest last night, but nope. He’d grown used to the calls of moose, bears, wolves, the squeal of hawks and higher calls of elk.
So he thought about Ginny. Not just Ginny from this morning, with her torn robe and half-done makeup, but Ginny from the night they’d come together for comfort.
He’d spent a lot of years regretting that he’d let things go so far, and just as many that he hadn’t come back to find her, to explain why he’d left so suddenly. But he’d known she was headed for big things, and his own life plans had diminished to less than wishful thinking.
Nothing could have shocked him more than finding out she’d stayed in Temptation Bay and taught piano from her family home. Except that she’d had a child.
Although Ginny had convinced him that Tilda wasn’t his, he couldn’t seem to shake the idea that Ginny was hiding something. It bothered him that he was making decisions based on a girl he’d known briefly years ago. Even though they’d been more than acquaintances, they hadn’t been friends, not in the way he understood the concept. They’d shared a common loss. His sister running off had made Ginny doubt herself and what she’d meant to Meg. Finding his sister gone had made his father’s absence so much harder for Parker to accept.
The idea that he believed he would have known if Ginny had lied to him was a conceit he had no business entertaining. Tilda could be his. What seemed clear was that whether he was the girl’s father or not, Ginny had no interest in letting him into their lives.
Truthfully, he wasn’t sure whether to be angry or grateful.
Maybe she had slept with some dark-eyed stranger the day after he and his mom had been forced to leave. Although that was as hard to believe as Meg wanting to come home.
Facing reality head-on was all that had saved his sanity after his father’s betrayal. And it was a lot easier to admit the truth when the nearest neighbor lived across three rivers.
He turned on his side and punched the pillow, although he felt certain the pillow had given up the fight hours ago. The ring of his cell phone was a welcome distraction. That it was Denali Wildrose screaming through his smartphone as if they were talking on two cans tied by a string made it a mixed blessing.
“Where you at?” Denali asked, his tone as gnarly as his calloused hands.
“I’m away. Mark is bringing your supplies.”
“Who’s that? Your partner?”
“Yep. You’ve met him.”
Denali grunted. “He’s late.”
“I can’t do anything about it from here.”
“Anchorage?”
“Nope. Rhode Island.”
“What? Who you got down there?” The old-timer didn’t trust anyone who wasn’t Native American. But Denali was a good man. Had six kids. Raised them all on his own after a boulder had killed his wife during an earthquake. But he was getting on in years and odder by the day.
“What else did you need, Kaskae?” Parker asked. “It takes time to get to Hoonah, and he’s got double the work since I’m not there.”
“That doesn’t make my stomach stop grumbling. We can’t cook nothing before we get that part for the oven.”
“Light a fire. You’ve got a perfectly good camp stove right outside your back door.”
“Okay, okay. You be back next week?”
“I hope so.” Parker said, although he wouldn’t swear to it. Not yet.
“What business you got in the Lower 48, anyway?”
“The none-of-your-business kind.”
Denali snorted. “You ain’t sick are ya?”
“No. It’s family stuff, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can. And don’t give Mark a hard time. He’s doing me a favor.”
“He’s got shifty eyes, that one.”
“Either deal with it or he can skip you this week,” Parker said, imagining the old guy’s eyes bugging out of his head. “Your choice.”
“What’s the matter with you? I gotta eat, don’t I? So does Elmo,” Denali sputtered. “By the way, he needs the other food. He won’t eat the chunky kind.”
“That cat eats better than I do. Call Mark and he’ll get it out to you if I’m not there to do it myself.”
“Don’t stay out there too long. Too much noise’ll rot your brain.”
“Right.”
“Now I have to call everybody and tell ’em you ain’t coming.”
“You do that. And tell them to be nice to Mark.”
“If he’s still shoppin’, tell him to throw in some Tongass Forest cookies. The big box.”
“I wouldn’t count on it.”
A grunt was the only response Parker got before Denali disconnected.
* * *
IT HAD TAKEN about an hour, but Ginny had finally relaxed. Catching up with her old friends felt like a tonic. Which was good, because the tea they were drinking hadn’t done the trick.
Gosh, they all looked so beautiful and carefree in their colorful sundresses, and their laughter was a time machine, taking her back to the days when these girls had been her only real break from piano practice and study. Well, these girls plus Meg.
If only...
Harlow lifted her glass. “Old friends are the best.”
Everyone nodded as they toasted, and Ginny couldn’t help picturing Meg at the table. Although she hadn’t been too tight with the others, they’d always made her feel welcome.
As Ginny lowered her glass, she did a quick sweep of the bar area, making sure Parker hadn’t suddenly popped by. She had no business being distracted while she had the rare opportunity to be with her gang. From this moment forward, she wasn’t going to do a thing but be present.
“Guess who’s here this weekend,” Harlow said, looking at Jade. “Fletcher Preston.”
Jade winced. “So, what do I care?”
Cricket and Harlow laughed.
Ginny smiled, wishing being “present” made it easier to forget about Parker.
“You were into him all of junior year,” Harlow said, as the waitress came to the table with a fresh pitcher of tea.
“At least you’re not denying it,” Ginny said, while Jade poured.
“No.” Jade grunted. “Men are dopes.”
Cricket and Harlow grinned. “Not all men.”
“Most men.”
Sipping her tea, Harlow looked around at the packed tables. “There’s someone in LA that I’ve been kind of seeing. No one special though. Another teacher. Science and math. You’d like him, Jade.”
“Just because I’m a chemist doesn’t mean I instantly bond with all other science nerds. Especially the men—superior jerks.”
“Now this is like old times,” Ginny said. “Remember Tommy Zico? That creep? Is he here? I didn’t see his name...” She gave in to the pull of scoping out the lobby again.
Harlow shuddered. “I hope not.”
“Well, how about that?” Ginny said. “Cricket. Check out who’s at the activity board.”
Jade followed Cricket’s gaze. “I’ll take him to go, please.”
It was Wyatt, the bartender from the local watering hole, Sam’s Sugar Shack. She and Cricket had met him yesterday when she’d asked Cricket for legal advice regarding Tilda...without actually mentioning names or admitting the advice was for her. He looked even scruffier, wearing a sweat-stained T-shirt over running shorts, his stubble darker, his hair a mess. Ginny had to admit, he looked hot.
“Wait a minute,” Jade said. “Cricket? He’s so not your type.”
“You don’t even know what my type is.”
“Uh, corporate. Silk tie. Penthouse apartment. Porsche.”
“You’re so wrong.” Cricket quickly polished off her drink and dropped her napkin on the table. “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone.”
“Why, you hogging him all for yourself?”
“Very possibly.” She tugged her dress down, then headed his way.
Ginny’s anxiety level rose at least two notches. Seeing Wyatt reminded her that Parker could be anywhere in the crowded lobby. She guessed there was no true break from reality. “Hey, I’ve got an idea,” she leaned closer to the others. “How about we go to Sam’s and get away from the reunion crowd for a bit?”
“I’m in,” Jade said, still watching the action at the activity board. “That’s probably where all the guys who aren’t from Roger Williams are.”
“Good point.” Harlow put down her glass. “The mere idea of running into that blowhard Frank Geary gives me hives. I saw him yesterday, and he tried to talk my ear off.”
“Well, that’s a nightmare no one needs.” Jade said.
Ginny laid some money on the table. “Do you guys think we should tell Cricket where we’re going?”
“I don’t think she’ll care.” Jade nodded toward the activity board. The two looked pretty cozy already. “Come on, I’d like to see Sam’s now that I’m legal.”
Harlow and Ginny both laughed.
“What?” Jade’s voice was the epitome of innocence.
Harlow snorted. “As if being underage ever stopped you.”
After they settled the check, Ginny led the way to the beach. Being outside was a relief. It was hot, yes, but the ocean breeze coming off the bay felt like heaven.
“I got dibs on anyone who remotely resembles the bartender,” Jade said.
Harlow stopped so suddenly Ginny almost ran into her. “Are you nuts? You can’t have dibs before we even walk in.”
“Who says?”
Harlow towered over Jade, but there was fierceness in both their eyes. They’d had enough challenges in their lives that Ginny already knew they could hold their own against the rest of the world. She’d always envied their gumption. Cricket’s too. Ginny had been more of a follower in the beginning. It was Meg who’d made her believe she could stand her ground. Always before, she’d been cowed by her father, who’d had a knack for finding her weak spots and exploiting them.
Meg had had his number from the first time she’d come over to Ginny’s. If it hadn’t been for her friend’s unwavering belief in shy little Ginny, she’d never have had the courage to leave Juilliard and care for Tilda despite her father’s vehement disapproval.
“Okay, fine,” Jade said. “We get to the table and if we like the same guy, I’ll arm wrestle you for him.”
Harlow laughed. “You little pip-squeak. There’s no way you’ll win.”
“Oh, really? We’ll just see about that.”
Ginny had clearly missed some of the conversation, but the two of them were now speed-walking to Sam’s. Ginny had to hustle to catch up, anxious now to see the outcome of this World Wrestling Federation mash-up. She giggled as they went up the few stairs to the popular hangout, while Jade and Harlow egged each other on.
“Wow, this place hasn’t changed a bit,” Harlow said as she glanced around at the funky decor, with hanging piñatas and bikini tops dangling over the tables and wicker chairs, assorted bric-a-brac like Hula-Hoops and license plates hung on the walls and from the ceiling. Hula girls bobbled in the center of every table. Even the uniforms—short denim cutoffs and cropped T-shirts with the bar’s logo—hadn’t been updated...ever.
“Hey, you guys.” Jade had already slipped into the thick of the crowd. “I’ve got a table. Come on.”
The place was packed with tourists, and it took Ginny a minute to get through the crowd but she finally took her seat.
Jade signaled the waitress. “This was a genius idea. We’ve hit the mother lode. Check out the guy by the jukebox.”
“I’m pretty sure half the bar heard you.” Ginny leaned in, keeping her voice low.
After Harlow ordered a pitcher of margaritas, Jade put her hand over Ginny’s. “Sweetie, it’s okay to loosen up every once in a while. You’re not seeing anyone, am I right?”
“With Tilda around? I don’t even remember the last guy who asked me out.”
“Well, don’t you worry. There are plenty of men here this weekend. We’ll fix you up.”
“I don’t know. I think you guys are bad influences on me. I was always stuck behind a piano, remember?”
“And the night of the junior prom when you were out until one in the morning? Your father almost sent you to a nunnery.”
Ginny groaned. “Jade, you know perfectly well we really did have a flat tire. It was you and Harlow who kept staying out past curfew.”
“Oh, girl, what you’ve missed out on. Tonight’s your chance to make up for lost time.” Jade watched a far-too-cocky golfer sashay past their table. “I promise I’ll find you someone decent.”
“Oh, I don’t need any help,” she said, “I already have someone in mind.”
Both women widened their eyes. “Who?”
Ginny was instantly sorry she’d teased them. She wasn’t thinking clearly. Too much was going on, and she’d been completely caught off guard after Parker had shown up. Maybe she should meet up with him before the dinner. Get it over with. Send him on his way.
But something about him was making it hard to do the smart thing. It didn’t seem possible that they could still have the chemistry they’d shared so long ago. Too much water under the bridge. Surely he had another woman in his life. Besides, nothing meaningful could come of the two of them. Not with Tilda in the picture.
“Ginny? You okay?” Harlow stared with concern.
“I’m fine. I’ve been thinking about Meg a lot, and it’s distracting, you know? I haven’t heard from her in a while, and I feel like we’re losing touch.” She’d never tell her friends anything about Meg’s real situation. That even if she were alive, she must be in hiding, or under Danny’s thumb. She knew Meg wouldn’t want her to share that information.