- -
- 100%
- +
‘I don’t happen to think finding your husband passionately kissing another woman is a molehill.’
‘But we were a bit tight. It didn’t mean a thing. We’ve known each other for years and—’
‘Why don’t you just go?’ Lindsey cut in wearily. ‘And if you think Tim will be faithful to you, take him with you!’
Turning on her heels, she walked into the bedroom and slammed the door behind her. As she crumpled on the bed, she heard the front door close, and a moment later Tim came in and put his arms around her.
‘Please let me explain, darling,’ he murmured. ‘Patsy was speaking the truth. I was missing you like hell, and when she offered to come over and keep me company—’
‘You decided to use her as my stand-in!’ Lindsey shook herself free of him. ‘You’d have been in this bed together if I’d arrived an hour later!’
‘Don’t be crazy! I couldn’t make love to anyone except you.’
‘What were you doing on the sofa—playing patience?’
He shrugged guiltily. ‘Things got a little out of hand, I agree, but you’re blowing it up out of all proportion.’
‘Perhaps I’m not as sophisticated as you,’ Lindsey cried. ‘But in my world, if a man loves his wife he doesn’t make love to someone else the instant her back’s turned.’ Jumping to her feet, she went to stand by the window. ‘I was a fool to work myself into the ground so I could come home earlier than planned. I should have stayed in Paris and lived it up. I had plenty of offers.’
‘I’m sure you did,’ Tim said softly, from just behind her. ‘You’re a very beautiful girl.’ Catching hold of her shoulder, he swung her round to face him. ‘Come to bed, Lindsey, and let me show you how much I love you.’
‘The only thing going to bed with me will prove is how horny you are!’ she flung at him, furious that he was so insensitive to her mood. Did he think she could discover him in the arms of another woman one moment, and forget about it the next? ‘The way I feel right now, I don’t want to make love to you ever!’
‘For heaven’s sake, be reasonable.’
‘Reasonable?’ Lindsey stormed. ‘How reasonable would you be if you came home and found me half-naked in another man’s arms!’
‘I wasn’t half-naked,’ Tim replied. ‘Nor was I making love to Patsy. I was just kissing her. Dammit, I’ve known her since I was six. Her brother’s one of my closest friends.’
‘Perhaps you should divorce me and marry her! Then you can work for Daddy and live on the family estate instead of in a poky flat on the wrong side of the river!’
‘Stop it!’ Tim bit out. ‘I’m happy here because I’m with you, and that’s all that matters to me. You should know that by now.’
‘Should I?’ Lindsey was suddenly gripped with insecurity. ‘I don’t know anything about you at all.’
Catching the weariness in her voice, he took a tentative step towards her. ‘Why don’t you get into bed and I’ll bring you a hot drink? You look exhausted.’
‘Hardly surprising when I’ve been working flat-out.’
‘That’s your choice.’
‘I was talking about Paris!’ she snapped. ‘I love my job and I can easily cope with it. It was only pressured because I wanted to get home ahead of schedule. Pity I didn’t save myself the trouble.’
‘For heaven’s sake!’ Tim’s temper rose to meet hers. ‘I’m a normal, red-blooded male who was missing his wife and stepped a bit out of line. Stop turning it into the crime of the century.’
‘Missing your wife?’ Lindsey spluttered. ‘Four days without me and you can’t control your lust!’
‘That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it.’
‘I certainly do. All I am to you is a good lay, and when I’m not here you’ll settle for anyone else!’
‘That’s a disgusting thing to say.’
‘It’s the truth!’ She was screaming like a harridan yet couldn’t stop herself. ‘You’re sorry you didn’t marry Princess Patsy. She’s one girl who’d meet with your parents’ approval.’
‘That’s what’s bugging you, isn’t it? That they don’t approve of you? Well, why should they?’ Tim flung at her harshly. ‘You abhor everything they stand for and you’ve shown them nothing but contempt. You can’t bear anyone who’s well off, can you?’
‘I don’t believe in privilege unless it’s earned.’
‘Dad may have inherited the company from his father, but it’s his efforts that have made it bigger and more successful.’
‘I suppose you resent me because you aren’t working there too?’
‘I don’t resent you, Lindsey. You made it plain you wouldn’t live in Evebury, so I had no choice. That’s the difference between us. You’d have walked away from me, but I couldn’t have walked away from you.’
Dismayed, Lindsey stared at him. Did he genuinely believe what he had just said? Didn’t he know how much she loved him? The knowledge that he didn’t, hurt her deeply, showing how little he understood her.
‘I’m beginning to see why you didn’t want to live in Evebury,’ Tim went on. ‘You were scared you’d lose control over me.’
‘Why should I want to control you?’
‘Because you have a king-size inferiority complex and it’s time you faced it. The main reason you dislike my parents is you’re jealous of them. As you’re jealous of anyone who has the things you’ve never had.’
‘I was waiting for you to bring up my background,’ she cried.
‘I never have until now. You’re always the one bleating about being working class. I don’t give a damn where a person comes from. It’s what they make of themselves that counts.’
‘It’s easier to make something of yourself if you start with the advantage of money,’ she said scornfully.
‘You haven’t done so badly,’ he retorted.
‘Because I chose a profession that recognises ability. What you know instead of whom you know.’
‘That applies to most professions these days,’ Tim said. ‘Face facts, Lindsey, or can’t you bear to admit you’re wrong?’
‘I was wrong to marry you,’ she flared, not meaning it.
‘That’s something we can easily rectify,’ he rejoined, striding from the room.
‘If you walk out now,’ Lindsey screamed, ‘don’t bother coming back.’
‘What makes you think I’d want to?’
Before she could answer, the door slammed behind him.
For a long moment she stared at it, then she collapsed on to the dressing-table stool and rested her head in her hands. The evening she had anticipated with such pleasure had turned into a disaster. Tim hadn’t meant the things he had said, any more than she had. But words, once spoken, weren’t easy to forget. Yet forget them they must, or their marriage was doomed.
Shivering, she undressed, deciding a hot bath might help her unwind. If past arguments were anything to go by, Tim was sure to appear before she had finished and offer to wash her breasts! Her heartbeat quickened. One thing would lead to another, and hurt and anger would fade beneath the stronger force of passion. Not that the reason for their quarrel could be overlooked; too many bitter things had come to the surface for them to be swept aside. But it was better to discuss them when tempers had cooled and realism, rather than emotion, was the arbiter.
But though Lindsey stayed in the bath for ages, Tim did not return, and she finally dried herself and went to bed.
She touched his pillow as she did, and began to cry. Was she really the envious young woman he had accused her of being? She refused to believe it. She had simply wanted him to be independent and not dutifully do his father’s bidding. She had assumed he had realised this, but it seemed she was wrong. Resenting his lack of understanding, her anger returned.
Time passed and she lay wakeful, her anger giving way to fear as midnight became two and two became four. Where had he gone? An image of Patsy rose before her, and jealousy brought her upright.
Dammit, she wasn’t going to lie awake like this! If Tim thought he could make her jealous he could think again. Storming into the bathroom, she rummaged in the cabinet for a sleeping pill.
Tomorrow, she assured herself, he would return chastened and apologetic, and they would sit down and calmly discuss everything that had taken place tonight. He had behaved stupidly over Patsy, but perhaps the stagnancy of his career, allied to her own burgeoning success, was responsible for it.
But at rock bottom they loved each other, and they must acknowledge this, for it was the cornerstone on which to rebuild their marriage.
CHAPTER THREE
TIM had still not returned when Lindsey finished breakfast next morning.
It was the first time a quarrel between them had lasted so long, and she wondered if she had over-reacted with Patsy. Yet she could not dismiss it as though it had not happened. Her trust in Tim had taken a beating and she needed assuring it would not recur.
Glancing at her watch, and seeing it was after eight-thirty, she gulped down her coffee and dumped her mug and cereal bowl in the sink, then virtuously washed them and put them on the draining rack. At least Tim would find the kitchen spick-and-span when he got back—he hated mess, though he rarely complained. But then he rarely criticised anything; not even the furniture they had purchased second-hand, which she was positive he loathed. But she had adamantly refused to accept anything from his parents’ home. The mere sight of an antique chair or valuable rug would have compromised their hard-won independence, and reminded her of the parents-in-law she preferred to forget.
Tim adored his mother, which made it all the more remarkable that he had married a girl she had not liked.
‘I’ll have to change my accent if you ever decide to become a tycoon!’ she had teased him on one occasion.
‘Rubbish!’ he had grinned. ‘With your gorgeous mane of auburn hair and stunning figure, you’ll be my greatest asset!’
In fact Lindsey had lost her Midlands twang at university, though she still didn’t speak in the plummy tones of Tim’s friends. Yet deep down she was the same girl she had always been. Her insecurity was less—Tim’s love had lessened it—but it was still there, ready to rise when she felt threatened.
As she had felt last night.
Biting back a sigh, she donned the jacket of her suit and set off to work.
Arriving there, she was told Grace Chapman wanted to see her. It had been an achievement for Lindsey to be taken on as one of her researchers, for it was a post normally given to an experienced person. But Grace had been impressed by her intelligence, and within a few months was sending her out on the most difficult assignments.
‘I’m glad you’re back from Paris ahead of schedule,’ the woman greeted her with a sigh of relief. ‘I want you to interview Howard McKay urgently.’ She named a renowned biographer of political figures.
‘But he lives in Glasgow!’
‘If you catch the next shuttle, you can be back tonight.’
As Lindsey was at the door, Grace spoke again.
‘Have you considered my offer?’
‘About going to America? It sounds marvellous, but I can’t accept. I haven’t even mentioned it to my husband.’
‘I realise six months is a long time,’ Mrs Chapman sympathised, ‘but it would be invaluable experience for you.’
‘I know, and if I’d been single I’d have jumped at it.’
‘Think it over again. I’ll keep the offer open for another week.’
Returning to her desk, Lindsey realised she had barely an hour to get to the airport. She didn’t even have a moment to call Tim. But he was bound to ring her some time today, and she asked Joan Barker, another researcher who shared her office, to explain she had to go to Glasgow unexpectedly, but would be back later that evening.
She reached Howard McKay’s home at midday, and was dismayed to find he had gone to the dentist.
‘Broke a crown,’ his housekeeper explained. ‘He said to relax and have a coffee. He shouldn’t be long.’
But it was well into the afternoon before the author returned. Tall and thin, he had a craggy, attractive face, and a thatch of grey hair.
‘Sorry to have kept you,’ he apologised, the teeth he flashed at her bearing witness to the efficiency of his dentist.
Recollecting Mrs Chapman warning her he could be tetchy, Lindsey assured him she hadn’t minded waiting to see someone as important as he was. This put him in an excellent humour, and the interview went well.
‘Perhaps you’d like to have a look at some of my notes for my latest biography?’ he volunteered.
This was a bonus she had not anticipated, and for the next couple of hours she pored over them with him, asking pertinent questions, most of which he didn’t answer.
It wasn’t until she rose to leave that he invited her to stay to dinner, insinuating he might answer the questions he had previously avoided. Since this would give her interview greater bite, she accepted, giving up hope of flying home that night.
‘I’d like to telephone my husband and let him know,’ she explained, and was disconcerted when McKay did not offer to leave the room.
In the event it did not matter, for it seemed Tim had not gone to his office today, and she called Joan to see if he had been in touch.
‘Afraid not,’ Joan answered. ‘But if he calls before I leave, do you have a number where he can reach you?’
Lindsey thought quickly. If he rang her here she would not be able to talk freely with Howard McKay listening, and a stilted conversation would do neither of them any good.
‘Best not,’ she replied. ‘Tell him the interview’s taken longer than I expected, and I have to stay in Glasgow overnight.’ Maybe she could ring Tim from the hotel. As she set down the receiver, she noticed her host’s eyes on her ringless left hand. ‘I don’t wear jewellery,’ she explained.
‘A wedding-ring is hardly jewellery. Do you see it as a sign of bondage?’
She shrugged. ‘It could be, but not in my case.’
‘What does your husband do?’
‘He works for Frank Taplow, the political correspondent.’
‘He’s interested in politics, then?’
‘Very,’ she lied.
‘Do you come from a political background?’
Lindsey nearly laughed. ‘Hardly. My mother always voted for the best-looking candidate, and my stepfather never voted in his life. From the age of twelve I lived in an orphanage, so my background wasn’t a privileged one.’
‘Beautiful women make their own background.’
‘I prefer to rely on my brains.’
‘Most commendable. But if one also has beauty, one has an extra advantage!’
‘Spoken like a man,’ Lindsey chided. ‘But one day soon—when women take their rightful place in world affairs—no man will dare say that!’
Chuckling, McKay rose and extended his arm. ‘Shall we go in to dinner?’
It was well after midnight before she booked into a hotel, too late to call Tim, and she ordered an alarm call for six, anxious to catch the earliest shuttle to London. But again fate conspired against her, for the airport was blanketed by fog, and she kicked her heels the entire morning.
Several times she went to call Tim at the newspaper, but each time stopped herself. The more she thought of their quarrel, the wiser it seemed to wait until they were face to face. In the context of her love for him, and their future together, the Patsy episode was best forgiven, though she doubted she could ever forget it.
She had also mulled over his accusations regarding her attitude to his parents, and knew they weren’t unjustified. Because of her insecurity, she was afraid of their power over him, refusing to see that by marrying her he had shown his independence, and endorsed it further by refusing to join the family firm. So surely she could afford to be less defensive with her in-laws? Perhaps if she made an effort to be nice to them, they would respond in kind.
It was well into the afternoon before she finally reached her office.
‘Did Tim call yesterday?’ was her first question to Joan.
‘About an hour after you rang. He left a number.’
Lindsey looked at it, but it meant nothing to her. Anyway, there was no point calling him there now.
‘I’m off,’ she announced. ‘I left McKay after one this morning, and what with the journey back, I’m whacked.’
Arriving home, she showered and changed into one of her prettiest dresses, then wandered from one room to the other, nervous as a girl waiting for her first date.
It was only as she decided to have a cup of coffee that she saw her breakfast cup and saucer on the draining board where she had left them yesterday morning. Odd that Tim hadn’t put them away. His tidiness was something she teased him about. When he had learned she was remaining in Glasgow for the night, he must have stayed over wherever he had gone.
She rummaged in her bag for the number Joan had given her, started to dial it, then, on an impulse, went over to the desk for Tim’s address book. Leafing through it, she could find no number corresponding to the one she had, and she went into the hall for the telephone directory.
With trembling fingers she picked up the L to Z. Yes, there was a P. Selwyn listed and the number tallied with the one Joan had given her. Did the ‘P’ stand for Patsy or Peter? There was one way to find out, and she took it.
She hardly remembered the cab ride to Knightsbridge, and was in a cold sweat when she reached the entrance of a luxury apartment block near Harrods. There was an entry-phone at the door but she was reluctant to use it, unwilling to warn Patsy—if it was her and not her brother—that she was here.
After what seemed an age but was only a moment, a well dressed couple emerged, and she slipped past them into the foyer. Luckily the porter was talking to another resident, and Lindsey darted into the lift.
Apartment twelve was on the top floor, and her heart was thudding madly as she rang the bell. Footsteps sounded on parquet, then the door was flung open and Patsy stared at her, dumbfounded.
‘Good lord, you!’
‘Is Tim here?’
‘He’s in Evebury.’
Lindsey was taken aback. ‘But he—he’s stayed here the last two nights, hasn’t he?’
‘Yes,’ Patsy said, ‘and frankly I don’t blame him. If you were childish enough to throw him out, what did you expect?’
Lindsey felt sick. How could Tim discuss their quarrel with the girl who was the cause of it? Didn’t he realise how disloyal it was, or didn’t he care?
‘I was angry,’ she said, then wondered why she should excuse her behaviour to Patsy. Without another word she turned and ran down the stairs.
Her worst suspicions had been confirmed. After their quarrel, Tim had spent the night with Patsy, and had done so again when she had been stuck in Glasgow. Lindsey tried to assure herself that they might have slept in separate rooms, but she could not believe it. Bearing in mind that he had had no qualms about kissing the girl while his wife was in Paris, it was difficult to imagine he had only gone to Patsy’s apartment for tea and sympathy!
Ignoring the taxis that passed by, Lindsey strode along the hard, unyielding pavements, and by the time she reached home the soles of her feet were burning. No swift, silent lift here to whisk her to a luxury apartment; just steep stairs, with each landing exuding its own distinctive smell. Lavender water from the elderly woman who had originally owned the house before converting it, dog from the Coopers, whose Basset hound was not house-trained, and nothing from their floor, Lindsey realised miserably as she reached her front door, and for once would have welcomed the aroma of Tim’s burnt cooking.
Desolated, she went straight to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. The working class panacea, she thought wryly. Patsy would no doubt have poured herself a glass of champagne.
To hell with Patsy and what she would have done! Lindsey sat down at the kitchen table and waited for the water to boil. Tim’s departure for Evebury meant only one thing: he was leaving London to join the family company. She was hurt that he had not seen fit to talk it over with her first. Was it because he wanted to prove he was his own man?
Angrily she poured boiling water over her teabag and some of it splashed on her hand. With a cry she put down the kettle, the shock of the scald shattering her frayed nerves.
Tears streaming down her face, she ran into the living room and flung herself on to the sofa. Her life was over. At the first trouble between them Tim had fled to his family like a chicken to its coop. Lindsey felt as though a door had been slammed in her face, leaving her broken, crushed, and completely alone.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE piercing ring of the telephone at her side roused Lindsey from her stupor, and dazedly she reached for the receiver, sitting up swiftly as she heard Tim at the other end.
‘Why haven’t you called me?’ he said curtly. ‘Didn’t you get my message?’
‘Yes. But I didn’t return from Glasgow till late this afternoon. I understand you’re at Evebury?’
‘Yes, I am. So you rang the number I left?’
‘I went there,’ she said as casually as she could. It was pointless not telling him, given that Patsy would.
He was silent, as if surprised, and Lindsey’s resentment became savage. ‘So you’ve gone back to Mummy and Daddy?’
‘Dammit, Lindsey, I’m here because—’
‘You were tired of pigging it with me!’
‘We weren’t exactly starving in a garret!’ he responded irritably. ‘My father’s had a stroke and is in hospital.’
Lindsey was shocked into silence.
‘Will you come down?’ Tim asked.
‘Is he...how serious is it?’
‘Thank God it wasn’t a severe one. The specialist says he should recover completely. But it was totally unexpected.’
‘These things often are.’ Lindsey was surprised to find her voice husky. ‘Please give him my best wishes.’
‘Does that mean you won’t be coming here?’
‘There isn’t much point, is there? Your heart’s in Evebury and mine’s in London.’ She had a sudden inspiration. ‘Not for much longer, though. I’m going to America for six months.’
‘You can’t be serious!’ Tim exclaimed.
‘Yes, I am. Grace offered me the chance a few weeks ago and I’ve finally decided to accept it. It’s for the best.’
‘The best for whom? If you’re going because of Patsy, you’re mad!’
‘Mad because I can’t be as sophisticated about it as you?’ Lindsey stormed back, longing for him to say he was sorry and that he loved her more than anyone in the world.
But he said none of these things, his tone icy as he spoke. ‘You’re making too much of something that’s totally unimportant and—’
‘I consider it bloody important!’
‘I’m in no mood to plead with you, Lindsey. Do what the hell you like. You always have, anyway. But I’ll say one thing for you—you certainly choose your moments!’
‘Our marriage was a mistake and the other night proved it.’
‘Stop using Patsy as an excuse,’ Tim exploded. ‘You’ve obviously been looking for one from the moment you were offered the job in the States. And if that’s what you want—go!’
The receiver was crashed down, and Lindsey drew a shaky breath and returned to the kitchen. She was trembling as though with fever, and she forced herself to make another cup of tea and a cheese sandwich, then sat in an armchair and watched a programme she had researched a month ago.
But for all the attention she paid to it it might as well have been in Chinese. All she could think of was Tim, and the lie she had told him. Should she call back and admit she’d no sooner leave him for six months than fly to the moon? Or was it better to go to Evebury and do it in person? It was probably the surest way of repairing their quarrel.
Lindsey glanced at her watch. It was eight-thirty, too late to catch a train now—and Tim had taken the car so she could not drive down. She would have to wait until tomorrow. By then, he’d have realised he had over-reacted and ring to apologise.
When morning dawned with no word from him, her anger resurfaced. Why should she be the one to patch things up, when it was his behaviour that had caused their row? Their marriage had been far from smooth, and he might have been looking for a pretext to end it. If so, Patsy had provided the perfect solution, for he would blame their parting on her jealousy—brought on by her inferiority complex!