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He strode further into the room, forcing me to back up, and said, ‘If I didn’t know better I would think that you have been hiding from me.’
‘I … maybe I have been,’ I confessed.
‘Why would you do that?’
‘I guess you haven’t spoken to Essa yet?’
Gerard frowned and placed his bucket on the floor. ‘Oh, I have spoken to my daughter all right. She is mighty mad at you and this – what did she call her – “fishy floozy” of yours.’
‘That’s why I’ve been avoiding you,’ I said.
‘Let me get this straight, you think that because my daughter is angry with you, that I will be too.’
‘Aren’t you?’
He came at me with his arms outstretched. I had a brief flashback of the bear attack in the Pookalands. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me one of his laughing hugs that lifted me off the ground. ‘Oh my boy,’ he said, and I relaxed even though my ribs were threatening to crack. ‘If Essa is mad at you, then you already have more enemies than any one man can stand.’ He let go of me and I tested my diaphragm to see if I could still breathe. ‘Good gods and monsters, if I had to be angry at everyone that my little darling was irritated with – I would not have any friends or customers at all.’
‘So you’re not here to give me the “don’t you dare hurt my daughter” speech?’
Gerard laughed, picked up his bucket and moved over to the table on the other side of the room. ‘Oh, I don’t give that speech. I usually just try to discourage Essa’s beaus for their own safety.’
We laughed at that as he whipped the cloth off his bucket like a TV magician. ‘I’ve brought you a gift.’ Buried deep in snow, with only their necks sticking out, were four bottles. I grabbed one, releasing it from its icy bed.
‘Beer!’ I shouted.
‘I remembered that last time you were in Castle Muhn you said you wanted beer that is “lighter, fizzier and colder” – well, try this.’ He reached over and placed his hand on the neck of the bottle and mumbled. The cork began to spin and then rise until it shot out of the bottle with a satisfying pop.
I took a quick gulp to catch the foam from overflowing onto the floor. Gerard scrutinised my face for any hint of criticism. ‘Well?’ he asked as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve.
‘I think you should give up on this wine stuff and become a full-time brewer.’
Gerard beamed like a child who had just received a stick-on star on his homework.
‘Did I hear someone shouting beer?’ It was Brendan at the door.
‘Brendan,’ I said. ‘Come in and meet Essa’s father, Lord Gerard of Muhn.’
‘Oh,’ Brendan said, a bit surprised while improvising a bow. ‘How do you do? I’m a big fan of your wine.’
‘Well, come in and try my beer,’ Gerard said without standing.
Brendan hesitated and said, ‘Actually I was just passing with my mother.’ Brendan reached into the hallway and took his mother’s hand and guided her into the room. ‘Lord Gerard, may I introduce Nora Fallon.’
I hadn’t seen Brendan’s mother since she arrived in the Hall of Spells. She was dressed in a green felt-ish tunic with gold embroidery and leather trousers – pretty much what everyone around here wears and it suited her to a T.
Gerard jumped to his feet, and bowed. ‘Of course I have heard about both of you. Welcome home, Druids. Please join us in a drink.’
Nora bowed. ‘Thank you, my lord, but no. I have to tend to my granddaughter.’ Brendan started to go with her when Nora said to her son, ‘No, please stay. I know how much you are missing beer.’ She bowed once again to us and left.
‘Your mother,’ Gerard said after seating Brendan and uncorking a beer for him, ‘is … old.’
‘Yes, try not to point that out to her when you meet her next. She’s getting a bit tired of that.’
‘But according to my daughter a couple of drops of blood from that remarkable Pooka friend of yours would change that – would it not?’
‘Tuan has offered my mother some dragon blood but she says she feels great and likes herself the way she is.’
‘Well, it sounds as if your mother knows her own mind. I like that in a woman.’ Gerard slapped Brendan on the shoulder, changing the subject. ‘My daughter speaks highly of you, Druid.’
‘Well, she hasn’t hit me yet,’ the cop said.
Gerard laughed, ‘It’s a shame you are not going on our little expedition but I understand about parental responsibilities.’
‘Wait,’ I said. ‘Are you coming?’
‘Oh yes,’ Gerard said, ‘Oisin has summoned me – I am an integral part of the plan.’
‘Look it’s a three and a half day ride to the base of Mount Cas,’ I said. ‘There is no reason to leave at dawn. We can leave at, like, ten and still be there way before it’s dark on the fourth day.’
‘Son, we leave at dawn – that’s how it is.’
‘Who says? Where is it etched in stone that all expeditions must leave at dawn?’
Finally Dad gave me one of his patented withering stares that, although he looked like my annoying younger cousin, still worked.
‘Yes sir. See you in the morning.’
‘Before the morning,’ he called after me.
So here I was, yawning while dragging my pack on the ground behind me, trying to get some kind of enthusiasm for the adventure ahead.
Believe it or not, I was early. The only ones in the stable before me were Gerard and four brawny soldiers. I watched and yawned as they hoisted a huge wine barrel on to Gerard’s cart.
‘Are we planning to get sloshed on this trip?’
‘I wish,’ Gerard said. ‘There is no wine in that barrel.’
‘What’s in there?’
‘Salt water.’
I was about to ask why we needed a barrel of salt water when I was blinded by a pair of hands covering my eyes from behind. ‘Guess who?’ said the unmistakable voice.
‘Is it a person or a fish?’ I asked.
‘Both.’
I turned to see the ever bubbly Graysea standing behind me. She kissed me on both cheeks and said, ‘Good morning.’
‘Good morning to you too – how nice of you to see me off.’
‘Oh, I’m not seeing you off. I’m going with you.’
‘Graysea, this is a very dangerous mission. I really don’t think you should come.’
‘Think again, son,’ Dad said while arriving around the corner with his mount.
I walked Dad out of earshot. ‘Why is Graysea coming with us?’
‘Because we are going up against a tough customer and I want a healer with us, and I have never seen anything like that Mertain healing power of hers.’
‘Yes, Dad, but she’s …’ I tried to remember what matron had said about Graysea. ‘She’s a sensitive fishy.’
‘I think you underestimate your mermaid, son. Graysea saved your butt out there in the ocean and defied her king. She can handle a three-day hike.’
‘Don’t you want me with you?’ Graysea asked when I got back to her.
‘No, I … I’m just worried about you.’
‘It’ll be fun.’
‘Graysea, we are going into battle.’
She put on her serious face but then smiled that room-lighting smile of hers. ‘Well, it will be fun until we get there.’
I just couldn’t resist the infectious joy of that girl’s smile. ‘You’re right,’ I agreed, ‘welcome along.’
Who knew what we were going into? At least until then I would have some pleasant company along the way. And luckily Essa wasn’t coming so I wouldn’t be caught in the middle of a week-long oestrogen nightmare.
Araf showed up and I grunted at him – I’ve discovered that wordless communication is best with the taciturn Imp. Mom, Nieve and Dahy all dramatically feigned surprise at me being ready before them. I saddled up Acorn (I was tempted to take Cloud but she was Brendan’s horse now) and then helped Gerard hitch up the wagon to his monsta-horses.
Actually it was nice being early and not having everybody scowling at me to hurry. I was mounted up, waking up and starting to feel good about this expedition when my spirits were dashed by the arrival of the last two of the party – Tuan and Essa.
I cantered Acorn over to Dad. ‘I thought you forbade Essa from coming?’ I said in a harsh whisper.
‘Gerard had forbidden her to enter the Oracle’s house on Mount Cas so she and Tuan are performing a different task.’
‘You did this on purpose.’
‘What, son, do you accuse me of doing on purpose?’
‘You know perfectly well what you did. You invited Graysea and Essa on this trip so you could watch me suffer.’
Dad, who had been wearing the slightest of smirks, became gravely serious. ‘Essa is a very important part of Dahy’s plan and as I said before, Graysea is the finest healer I have ever seen. The world does not revolve around you, son. I would never ask anyone to join an undertaking as perilous as this just to annoy you.’ He kicked his horse away but as he did he said, ‘That’s just an added bonus.’
We took the main road out and travelled three abreast. On my left was Graysea and on my right was Essa. No one said a word. I was even afraid to shift in my saddle lest the noise break the agonisingly painful silence. Dad looked around and didn’t even try to stifle his chuckle. This was going to be a long, long trip. I thought, maybe if I’m lucky I’ll die a horrible death on Mount Cas. At least then I’ll be saved from a trip home with these two.
Chapter Six
The Yew House
We travelled like that for a day and a half. No one said a word. Anybody who knows me understands that I’m uneasy with uncomfortable silences. This was pure torment. I thought my head was going to explode. On the first night I ate and went straight to bed. I was hoping I could get to sleep quickly so I would have someone in dreamland to talk to, but sleep wouldn’t come. I was sharing a tent with Araf and still wasn’t asleep by the time he came to bed. I was so desperate for conversation I said, ‘Say something.’
‘What would you like me to say?’ he answered, without the puzzlement in his voice that he should have had.
‘I don’t care – anything. You can tell me about crop rotation if you want.’
‘Really?’ he said, with more excitement than I have ever heard from him before.
‘Yes, anything.’
So off he went babbling on about plants and seeds and hoeing and dirt and bugs. He was so wrapped up in his subject I’m sure he didn’t notice me nodding off with a smile on my face. Anything was better than the silence I had been enduring sandwiched between the icy glares of those two women.
I got a reprieve the next day when Essa dropped back to have a planning chat with Tuan.
Graysea startled me when she spoke. ‘Do you still care for her?’
‘Who?’ I said lamely.
‘Conor, I’m stupid but not that stupid.’
‘You’re not stupid,’ I said, ‘you’re the cleverest mermaid I know.’
‘And how many mermaids do you know?’
‘Well, that’s not the point.’
‘No it’s not,’ she said. ‘The point, which you seem to be avoiding, is whether or not you still have feelings for Essa.’
‘Well, that’s complicated.’
‘And you think I am too stupid to understand. Is that it?’
‘No,’ I said looking around hoping that a pack of wolves would attack and get me out of this conversation. ‘Essa and I have a history.’
‘You still haven’t answered the question,’ she said and then mercifully continued so I didn’t have to. ‘I just don’t understand. When you were on the island with me she was engaged to that Turlow fella – right?’
‘Yes.’
‘So she is mad at you for being with me when she was engaged to somebody else. That doesn’t seem fair.’
‘Well, ah …’
‘And she hits you all the time.’
‘Well, I don’t know about all the time … but often.’
‘And is it true that last summer she tried to kill you?’
‘She … she didn’t try to kill me,’ I stammered, ‘she was just part of a plot to have me killed.’
Graysea shook her head and sighed. ‘And people think I’m stupid.’ She kicked her horse and sped ahead.
Gosh, I thought, when you add it all up like that she had a point. Araf had silently sidled up next to me. I turned to him and said, ‘What do you think, big guy?’
‘About what?’
‘About my women problems?’
‘I think,’ the Imp said, ‘I was more comfortable with questions about crop rotation.’
I got another reprieve that night when they both ignored me. Essa finally came up to me after dinner. A firefly sat on her shoulder illuminating one side of her face.
‘Your little mackerel is lounging in her barrel.’
‘She is not a mackerel, she’s a Mertain. She is a healer from the Grotto of Health on the Mertain islands. And she is not lounging. She is recharging – preparing herself so she can help any of us in case we are injured.’
Essa was taken aback by my tone. She stood.
‘Maybe you would prefer to join her in her bath tub.’
‘Maybe I would. At least she’s not mad at me all the time and she never hits me with sticks.’
Essa looked at me like she had never seen me before. I stood and faced her. ‘Anyway, I haven’t seen you for an hour or so – are you sure you haven’t gotten engaged to someone in that time?’
Essa looked like she had been slapped. ‘You promised you would never mention that.’
‘No I didn’t. You told me not to mention it. I never got a chance to promise. Well, maybe I’m tired of being bossed around by you.’
It didn’t take long for the surprised Essa to kick back. ‘Fine,’ she hissed. ‘I hope you and your fish will be happy together.’ She stomped away, leaving her firefly to flutter around confused, and then she turned. I took a step back expecting a blow. ‘Now that I think of it, you and your fish are perfect together – because you’re an eel.’
I tried riding with Araf the next day but he insisted on continuing his dissertation on agriculture so I dropped to the rear to have a long overdue catch-up with Tuan. Araf didn’t even notice I was gone.
‘Councillor Tuan,’ I said, ‘I’m surprised you’re still in Duir. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great having you around, but shouldn’t you be in the Pinelands impressing girls with your super-Pooka act?’
‘Girls,’ Tuan sighed, ‘are the reason I am here.’
‘Oh?’ I said with my inflection going up.
‘My mother wants me to marry.’
‘Oh,’ I said with my tone going down.
‘Yes, Mother wants me to marry a mousy woman from the council.’
‘When you say mousy, Tuan, do you mean she’s small or that she changes into a mouse?’
‘Both.’
‘And you’re not into rodents?’
‘It’s not that …’
‘What is it then?’
Tuan looked around to make sure no one could overhear. ‘There’s this girl in Castle Duir.’
‘Oh, do tell.’
‘This mustn’t get back to my mother.’
‘I’ll be as quiet as the mouse you’re cheating on.’
Tuan snarled at me then straightened up in his saddle and said, ‘Never mind.’
‘No, no, I’m sorry T. I promise I won’t make jokes. Who is she?’
‘I better not say.’
‘Aw come on, what’s the big secret?’
‘She is an Imp.’
‘Oh, and Mom’s not into mixed marriages?’
‘Mother thinks that Pooka power as strong as mine shouldn’t be diluted.’
‘So she’s hooking you up with a mouse?’
Tuan shrugged.
‘Why don’t you just tell your mother to get stuffed?’ I said. ‘You do realise you’re a dragon?’
Tuan laughed. ‘Being one of the most powerful creatures in The Land has little sway with my mother.’
‘Yeah, big guy,’ I said, nodding. ‘I guess I can relate to that.’
We made good time and got to the base of Mount Cas on the evening of the third day. As we set up a base camp, I expected Dad to make some comment like, ‘Aren’t you glad we left at dawn?’ but all he gave me was that look that said it all. Where do parents learn that all-encompassing look? Is there some sort of instructional video you get when you have your first kid? Does it come with a mirror to practise in?
Gerard brought out a couple of bottles of dark red wine. It was fabulous. I wasn’t worried about the upcoming confrontation until I tasted it. When Gerard brings out the special stuff then you know there’s going to be hard times ahead.
That night I dreamt about the Oracle. He leaned forward into the light. As his wispy grey hair blew in a breeze, his wrinkled eyes smiled at me. Then with the tiniest flick of the wrist, he sent me sailing off the side of Mount Cas. I screamed all the way down until the moment I hit the ground. I sat bolt upright in my tent and stared into the darkness, willing my breath to calm and my heartbeat to return to normal. Was that just a nightmare, I wondered – or a prophecy?
We set out long before dawn. Every campaign seemed to be getting earlier and earlier. Soon we would be leaving before we even went to bed. Essa, Tuan, Gerard and Graysea stayed behind in base camp. The last time I climbed Mount Cas it took us three days but that was in the winter. This day was dry and sunny and we set a ridiculous pace. We hiked way into the cold night and found a place to camp on the opposite side of the mountain from where the Yew House stood. We didn’t know if the Oracle had enough power over the mountain to cause avalanches, but didn’t want to chance it.
Mom sat next to me over what was laughingly called dinner. ‘Are you OK?’ she asked.
‘Other than the fact that my legs feel like jelly after that climb and I have to sleep on cold hard stone on the edge of a cliff the night before I re-tangle with the nastiest sorcerer I have ever seen – yeah, I’m fine.’
‘I was talking about your girlfriend problems.’
‘Oh, well I don’t think I have a problem any more ’cause after this trip I probably won’t have any girlfriends.’
‘Well, that would suit me fine. Then I would have you all to myself.’
She put her arm around me and gave me a hug that made me feel like I was five. I placed my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. I was awfully tired. I don’t know if it was Shadowmagic or just Mom magic but the next thing I noticed I was in my sleeping roll and Dahy was shaking me awake and offering me a cup of breakfast tea.
If yesterday my legs felt like jelly, today they felt like lead. Dad, in front, set a stride that some would call a sprint. We only slowed down on the parts of the trail that were visible from the Yew House above, then we would press against the rock face and slink along in single file so as not to be seen.
It was nightfall when we reached the wide shelf where, months before, Araf and I had almost fallen off the side when caught in an ice slide. If we had been spotted during our ascent, we figured that the Brownie guards would be there to meet us as they had done the last time. Since they didn’t, we decided to camp the night there and meet the Oracle guy in the morning. We didn’t risk a fire but Nieve got some water hot using gold wire she incanted over and then dropped into the kettle. Dad hadn’t spoken all day and looked kinda off. I made him a cup of tea and then pointed to the stone wall next to him. ‘Excuse me sir, is this seat taken?’ I asked.
He was lost in thought but then finally said, ‘No,’ without even noticing any irony in the question.
‘You OK, Dad?’
He noticed me then and said, ‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.’
‘You know I’m old enough that you don’t have to play Strong Dad for me. You’re obviously distracted. What’s on your mind?’
‘It’s nothing. I’m just mulling over tomorrow.’
‘Or maybe you’re nervous about meeting a mother that you hardly even remember?’
Dad looked shocked – then smiled. ‘How did you get so smart?’
‘I actually have experience in meeting a mother for the first time in adulthood, remember?’
‘Yeah, I guess you do. Any advice?’
‘Yes, I do,’ I said, sipping my tea. ‘Get some rest, ’cause it’s nothing you can prepare for.’
The next morning as we walked to the front porch of the Yew House, Dahy threw something off the side of the mountain. There was no one outside the house so we opened the door and let ourselves in. We obviously caught everyone napping. A Brownie saw us in the hallway and yelped like a puppy that had accidentally been trodden on. He scurried away and it wasn’t long before there was a wall of armed Brownies between us and the end of the hallway.
I recognised the tall Brownie in front as the one that, months earlier, I had pinned to a wall by the neck. I knew that these guys weren’t as tough as they looked.
‘You are not welcome here,’ tall guy said.
‘We are not looking for a welcome. We are looking for Macha,’ Dahy said.
They all flinched in surprise at the mention of her name. If I had any doubts that my grandmother was there they left me then.
Tall guy repeated himself. ‘You are not welcome here.’ This time he emphasised his words by levelling a crossbow at us. Or I should say started to level a crossbow at us, because he never got it even close to level. As soon as the weapon started to rise, Mom and Nieve performed some kind of magic. There was a flash of light and the Brownies went down like bowling pins.
‘Strike,’ I said, and Dad gave me a smile.
We walked the length of that dark stone cold corridor until we reached the yew door with the Eioho Rune carved into the finish.
‘Ready?’ Dahy asked and in response we fanned out into our rehearsed positions.
The room beyond was exactly as it had been the last time I was there. Light shining from round discs set into the ceiling refused to bounce off the pitch-black floors. On a dais in the centre of the room, bathed in shadows, sat the Oracle on his Yew Throne. You couldn’t see his face, only the outline of his hair and robe as both fluttered in the wind that whistled through the room.
We stepped through the doorway, spread out and awaited Dahy’s command.
I stood at the back and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. I wasn’t interested in having my conversation with him pick up where it had last left off.
‘Where is Macha?’ Dahy demanded.
Oracle guy leaned in, letting the light hit his face for the first time. It was as effective as any lighting trick done in a Hollywood horror movie and I’m sure he did it for its impact. The next time I had to scare the crap out of someone I decided I would hire this guy to do my special effects.
‘The last time I spoke to a Lord of Duir, he had manners,’ he said, looking at Dahy, but then he turned to my father and said, ‘and the last time I spoke to a Lord of Duir, he spoke for himself.’
‘I have had reports of the reception you offered my son at his last visit,’ Dad said, ‘the time for manners was then.’
The Oracle cast an eye in my direction. I wish you’d leave me out of this, Dad, I thought to myself.